Thor’s Hammer! It’s only the weekend again??!
Like most superheroes in the land, we once again find ourselves donning the Lycra as we prepare ourselves for battle against evil, the forces of nature and of course some pesky weekend boredom. We’ll pull our laces up extra tight, adjust our cape before heading off into the sky with lightning speed to face any number of perils while the rest of civilization does their uppermost to capture our heroic deeds onto celluloid wonder for the world to see and unmask our identity.
Have a happy retro weekend!
SATURDAY 25th APRIL
Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) E4 1:55pm-4:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Captain Picard and the Enterprise crew uncover a conspiracy by their own superiors and a sinister alien race to take over a peaceful world and exploit its power to prolong life. However, the crew is forced to defy Federation orders and turns renegade to protect the planet’s inhabitants. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, F Murray Abraham, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner and Michael Dorn.
Ladies White Star Trek Leopard Print T-Shirt
Housesitter (1992) ITV London 2:35pm-4:35pm (2 hours)
An architect has a fling with a kooky waitress, who takes it upon herself to move into his house and pass herself off as his wife. When the woman he is actually in love with says she thinks the sham marriage is good for him, he decides to play along with the deception. Romantic comedy, starring Steve Martin, Goldie Hawn, Dana Delany, Donald Moffat and Julie Harris.
Bugsy Malone (1976) Film4 3:05pm-4:55pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Alan Parker’s slapstick musical comedy, featuring a cast composed entirely of children and following a war between rival gangsters in 1920s New York – fought with custard pies and cream-firing Tommy guns. When a slick mobster acquires devastating new weapons, his arch rival enlists the aid of a small-time chancer to steal them. Starring Scott Baio, Florrie Dugger and John Cassisi, with Jodie Foster in an early appearance.
Smokey and the Bandit II (1980) ITV4 3:55pm-6:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The maverick haulier must overcome a crisis of confidence when he and his friends are hired to transport a pregnant elephant to Texas, a mammoth task that proves far from easy, especially with their old enemy in hot pursuit. Road comedy, with Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Dom DeLuise and Sally Field.
Dr No (1962) ITV4 8:00pm-10:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
James Bond travels to the Caribbean to investigate the murder of a fellow agent, leading to a confrontation with a mysterious criminal mastermind hatching a plot to sabotage the US space programme. The first in the long-running spy thriller series, starring Sean Connery, Ursula Andress, Jack Lord and Joseph Wiseman.
Fun Fact: As detailed as Dr. No’s underwater lair was, one vital element was very nearly forgotten – background plates of fish swimming in the sea to be added to the thick-glass window. The necessary film was quickly found among library footage the day before the scene was to be filmed. When it turned out the footage featured extreme close-ups of fish, it was decided to have Dr. No explain that the window works as a magnifying glass.
White Men Can’t Jump (1992) Comedy Central 11:00pm-1:15am (2 hours 15 minutes)
A basketball hustler working Los Angeles’ courts uses his goofy appearance to lull his opponents into a false sense of security. He forms an uneasy alliance with a fellow conman and rival to make a financial killing, but his debts soon catch up with both of them. Ron Shelton’s comedy, starring Woody Harrelson, Wesley Snipes and Rosie Perez.
SUNDAY 26th APRIL
Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986) 5* 1:15pm-3:40pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
The Enterprise crew travels back in time to prevent an alien probe destroying the Earth. The only thing that can avert the disaster is a humpback whale, a creature extinct in the 23rd century – but adjusting to life back in 1986 proves a distinct challenge. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring William Shatner, DeForest Kelley and Leonard Nimoy, who also directed.
Men's Blue Spock Costume Star Trek Ringer T-Shirt
James and the Giant Peach (1996) Channel 5 1:50pm-3:20pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
An unhappy orphan living with his cruel aunts discovers a gigantic peach growing in the garden. Venturing inside, he meets six friendly insects and together they embark on a magical journey. Animated and live-action fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Paul Terry, Joanna Lumley and Miriam Margolyes and featuring the voices of Susan Sarandon and Richard Dreyfuss.
The Secret of My Success (1987) ITV3 3:30pm-5:40pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A naive country boy travels to New York to make his fortune, only to end up working in a corporation’s mail room. He chances on a vacant office and hatches a plan to pass himself off as a top-ranking executive, but leading a double life proves harder than expected. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, Helen Slater, Richard Jordan and Fred Gwynne.
Labyrinth (1986) Channel 5 5:15pm-7:15pm (2 hours)
A teenager wishes her baby brother would be taken away, only to have her request granted by a band of goblins and their sinister king. She regrets her decision and sets out to rescue him, but to reach the castle where he is being held, she must find her way through a magical maze full of strange creatures. Jim Henson’s fantasy adventure, starring Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie.
Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) Channel 5 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.
Men's Black Ass You A Question Ace Ventura T-Shirt
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) BBC3 8:00pm-10:00pm (2 hours)
The intrepid archaeologist sets out to find his estranged father, who has gone missing while searching for the Holy Grail. Once reunited, the duo team up to finish the task and locate the sacred relic before the Nazis get their hands on it. Action adventure sequel directed by Steven Spielberg, starring Harrison Ford, Sean Connery, Alison Doody, River Phoenix, Julian Glover and Denholm Elliott.
Snake Eyes (1998) BBC1 London 11:35pm-1:10am (1 hour 35 minutes)
A corrupt cop seals off all exits in a casino after the fatal shooting of a US Defence Department official – but while frantically searching for the assassin among the 14,000-strong crowd, he is daunted by the sheer scale of the challenge. Thriller from director Brian De Palma, starring Nicolas Cage, Gary Sinise, John Heard and Carla Gugino.
Fun Fact: The opening 20 minute Steadicam sequence is not really one continuous shot – there are numerous hidden edits.
Whatever you’re up to this weekend, may the force be with you and don’t forget to bring your charger.