The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

by Iain Matheson on March 17, 2017

Great Gatsby! Another retro movie filled weekend is here folks. Time for adventure, mystery and of course a full helping of action. Let’s go!

Climbing the steep, cold and grainy steps up towards the top board, we find our excitement and nerves increasing evermore with each step. Reaching the heights of the wide, long and solid top board, we slowly make our way to the edge before peeping over to see the blue depths that lurk below. Taking a deep breath, we’ll leap into the air seemly weightless for a moment, before gravity kicks in and launches us into the cold blue depths.

SATURDAY 18th MARCH

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Hook
(1991) Sony Movie Channel 10:50am-2:00pm (3 hours 10 minutes)
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

The Addams Family (1991) Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Creepy couple Morticia and Gomez find their unconventional life threatened by a man claiming to be a long-lost relative. When they welcome him with open arms, they fall prey to a plot that could cost them their ancestral home and the family fortune. Black comedy based on the 1960s TV series, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman and Carel Struycken.

First Knight (1995) Sony Movie Channel 2:00pm-4:50pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
A wandering swordsman is knighted for his fighting prowess at the court of King Arthur and his wife, Lady Guinevere. However, the new knight and the queen develop a dangerous and secret attraction for each other, while a neighbouring warlord threatens the downfall of the kingdom. Adventure, starring Richard Gere, Sean Connery, Julia Ormond and Ben Cross.

Fun Fact: Mel Gibson was attached to this project at one stage, but chose to direct and star in Braveheart (1995) instead.

Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 6:15pm-8:00pm
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

Mr Bean Clothing

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) ITV4 9:00pm–11:45pm
A reprogrammed killing machine is sent back in time to the 20th century to protect John Connor, a teenage boy whose destiny is to save the human race. After breaking John’s mother out of a mental institution, the pair set out to avert a future nuclear war – pursued by an advanced prototype terminator with shape-changing powers. Sci-fi action adventure sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong and Robert Patrick.

Rambo III (1988) ITV 11:35pm-1:25am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Scary Movie 2 (2001) Film4 11:05pm-12:40am (1 hour 35 minutes)
Teenage survivors of an encounter with a ghost-faced killer end up in college and try to forget the trauma of earlier events – but fate takes a hand when an eccentric college professor bribes them to stay in a haunted house in return for A-grades. Spoof horror sequel, starring Marlon and Shawn Wayans, Anna Faris and Tim Curry.

SUNDAY 19th MARCH

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Vice Versa
(1988) Film4 1:00pm-2:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A department store executive returns from a trip to Thailand in possession of a mysterious artefact that causes him to change places with his 11-year-old son. While the horrified father struggles to cope with a world of teachers and school bullies, the youngster is revelling in the perks of being a grown-up. Fantasy comedy, starring Judge Reinhold, Fred Savage, Swoosie Kurtz and Corinne Bohrer.

Fun Fact: This is actually the seventh film or television adaptation of F. Anstey’s “Vice Versa (1882)

Batteries Not Included (1987) Channel 5 1:05pm-3:05pm (2 hours)
A family of tiny alien spacecraft intervenes to help the residents of a run-down Manhattan brownstone tenement stop greedy developers from demolishing their homes. However, the miniature flying saucers have the odds stacked against them as they bravely do all they can to save the day. Sci-fi fantasy, starring Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Frank McRae and Elizabeth Pena.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 3:55pm-5:00pm
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minion Merchandise

Addams Family Values (1993) E4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
Spooky couple Gomez and Morticia hire a nanny to look after their new baby son – and stop him suffering an early death at the hands of his jealous elder siblings. Romance soon blossoms between the new childminder and Uncle Fester, but he does not realise she is planning to kill him once she has got hold of the family fortune. Comedy sequel, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci and Joan Cusack.

Fun Fact: Oddly, Carol Kane, who plays Grandmama, is almost a year younger than Anjelica Huston, who plays her daughter, Morticia Addams.

RoboCop 3 (1993) ITV4 9:05pm-11:15pm
A giant Japanese corporation’s plan to turn Detroit into an anaesthetised metropolis prompts the gun-toting cyborg hero to help a band of rebels fight against the forces of tyranny. Sci-fi thriller sequel, starring Robert Burke, Nancy Allen, Rip Torn, John Castle and Jill Hennessy.

Die Hard 2 (1990) E4 10:00pm-12:25am (2 hours 25 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife, but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

Good Will Hunting (1997) ITV3 11:05pm-1:35am
A troubled maths genius refuses to use his gift, preferring to work as a janitor and lead a normal life with his friends. Eventually, a university professor persuades him to see a psychologist, who befriends him and proves the only person able to help him come to terms with his talent and past traumas. Drama, written by and starring Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, who won Oscars for their screenplay. With Robin Williams, Minnie Driver and Stellan Skarsgard.

Firefox (1982) ITV4 11:15pm-2:00am
A former US Air Force pilot comes out of retirement for a top-secret mission – to go undercover behind the Iron Curtain and steal a hi-tech Soviet fighter plane that is invisible to radar and equipped with a thought-controlled weapons system. Cold War action adventure, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood. With Freddie Jones, David Huffman and Warren Clarke.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always show your working and don’t forget to clean out the fridge.

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