Movies

Kris Kringle! Another retro movie weekend is here and is coming jam-packed with classic movie goodness!

With a brush and a scrape, we find ourselves frantically chipping away at the nights frost which has decided to make a semi-permanent home on our windscreen. With our fingers and toes quickly matching the temperature of the ice itself, we’ll slowly begin to reveal the clear shiny glass beneath the ice blanket, watching our breath slowly rise and fade away into the clear sky.

SATURDAY 1st December

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The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) Film4 1:00pm-2:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An embittered Victorian miser hates the festive season and people in general, but on Christmas Eve, the ghosts of his former business partners, the Marley brothers, visit him in the night. They warn him three spirits are coming to make him change his ways by showing him visions of the past, the present and what the future may hold. Comedy, with Michael Caine and Steven Mackintosh alongside the puppet characters.

Muppets Merchandise

Santa Claus: The Movie (1985) ITV3 2:45pm-5:00pm
An impulsive elf walks out on Father Christmas during the hectic preparations for the festive season, and heads for New York determined to make a name for himself. However, he falls into the clutches of an evil toy manufacturer, who has a devilish money-making plan up his sleeve. Family fantasy adventure, starring Dudley Moore, John Lithgow, David Huddleston, Burgess Meredith and Judy Cornwell.

Superman (1978) ITV4 3:25pm-6:20pm
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman Merchandise

Nacho Libre (2006) ITV4 6:20pm-8:10pm
A portly Mexican friar working as a cook in an orphanage adopts the guise of a masked wrestler. He teams up with a thief and enters a tournament hoping to win enough money to sort out the monastery’s financial problems, feed the kids under his care and impress the nun he is in love with. Comedy, starring Jack Black and Ana de la Reguera.

The Nutty Professor (1996) ITV4 8:10pm-10:00pm
An obese, terminally shy professor invents a potion that transforms him into a slim, loud-mouthed charmer. His new streamlined self immediately sets out to woo the woman of his dreams – but soon starts to ride roughshod over everything he used to care about. Remake of the 1963 Jerry Lewis comedy, starring Eddie Murphy, Jada Pinkett Smith, James Coburn and Larry Miller.

The Bone Collector (1999) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:35pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
A quadriplegic ex-cop is saved from the brink of suicide by a rookie female officer needing his expertise to form a psychological profile of a serial killer. The murderer is posing as a cab driver and terrorising Manhattan, and has a gruesome habit of taking trophies from his victims’ bodies. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Michael Rooker, Mike McGlone, Luis Guzman and Queen Latifah.

Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) Dave 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Headstrong cop Martin Riggs and his cautious partner Roger Murtaugh stumble across a plot by a South African diplomat to launder drugs money by shipping gold coins into the US via his embassy. Protected by diplomatic immunity, the crook looks certain to evade the law – while his chief henchman has a connection to Riggs’ traumatic past. Action thriller sequel, with Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Joss Ackland, Derrick O’Connor and Patsy Kensit.

Rambo III (1988) ITV 10:35pm-12:25am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Rambo TShirts

SUNDAY 2nd December

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Wild Wild West (1999) Dave 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours)
A government agent teams up with a gadget-mad master of disguise to investigate the disappearance of several scientists. Their search leads them to an evil genius who is plotting to kill the US president with some bizarre inventions of his own. Sci-fi Western comedy, starring Will Smith, Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, Salma Hayek and Ted Levine.

Flight of the Navigator (1986) Film4 3:15pm-5:05pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978, and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens.

Shrek (2001) Channel 4 5:50pm-7:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Anti-social ogre Shrek resolves to stop an evil ruler from banishing fairy-tale characters to his swampland home. However, the reluctant hero ends up forced to rescue the beautiful Princess Fiona from a castle guarded by a dragon, aided only by a wisecracking donkey. Animated comedy, with the voices of Mike Myers, John Lithgow, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Vincent Cassel.

Mars Attacks! (1996) ITV4 12:30am-2:40am
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, stay warm and keep cooooool!

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Jack Flash! Another retro movie weekend is here… and it’s no ordinary weekend!

With our details at the ready and our clicking fingers primed and limber, we will dive on into cyberspace Black Friday weekend chaos! Snapping up bargains like Pac-Man on a mission, we’ll be darting all over the web with our card in hand ticking off the long list of Christmas 2017. Will we complete our mission and how much will we save? We’ll, that’s between us and Santa’s Elves….

SATURDAY 25th November

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Jumanji (1995) Sony Movie Channel 11:20am-1:30pm
A man who has been trapped inside a mysterious jungle board game for 26 years is eventually freed when two children start to play it. Unfortunately, he arrives with a rampaging horde of animals on his heels, leaving only one solution – to finish the game he started all those years ago. Fantasy adventure, starring Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst and Bonnie Hunt.

Field of Dreams (1989) Film4 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A farmer hears a mysterious voice inspiring him to mark out a baseball diamond in a cornfield – which, to his surprise, is visited by the ghost of the star player of the 1919 Chicago White Sox team, whose career was cut short by scandal. It later dawns on him the pitch has a greater purpose – to give people who have sacrificed important parts of their lives a second chance. Fantasy, starring Kevin Costner, Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster and James Earl Jones.

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) ITV2 1:25pm-3:10pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) ITV 10:30pm-12:20am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Incarcerated Special Forces veteran John Rambo is offered the chance for freedom by former commander Colonel Trautman if he takes up the offer to return to the jungles of Vietnam on a life-or-death mission to rescue American PoWs. During the course of the operation, he develops strong feelings for his guide, a female freedom fighter – but tragedy strikes, leaving him more determined than ever to exact a bloody and explosive revenge. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Julia Nickson-Soul, Steven Berkoff, George Kee Cheung, Andy Wood and Martin Kove.

Fun fact: The only film in the Rambo series to be nominated for an Oscar.

Full Metal Jacket (1987) ITV4 11:00pm-1:20am
Raw recruits undergo harsh training under a domineering Marine drill sergeant after being called up for service in the Vietnam War, but his brutal methods lead to the breakdown of one of his cadets. Eventually, some of the fully trained soldiers get their first taste of combat in 1968. Stanley Kubrick’s drama, starring Matthew Modine, Adam Baldwin, Vincent D’Onofrio and R Lee Ermey.

SUNDAY 26th November

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Godzilla (1998) Sony Movie Channel 11:00am-1:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
A giant mutant lizard spawned from an atomic test rampages through the streets of New York, defying the combined might of the US Army and Navy as it searches for a quiet place to hatch its eggs. A bookish radiation expert and a shady French secret agent join forces to defeat the creature. Hollywood remake of the Japanese monster adventure, starring Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Maria Pitillo and Hank Azaria.

Fletch (1985) Film4 3:00pm-5:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A wisecracking reporter and master of disguise is approached by a businessman who claims to be terminally ill and is looking to pay someone to kill him. The journalist discovers the supposedly dying man is in perfect health, and his strange request is part of a complex scam. Comedy mystery based on Gregory Mcdonald’s novel, with Chevy Chase and Tim Matheson.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) Film4 5:05pm-6:45pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An embittered Victorian miser hates the festive season and people in general, but on Christmas Eve, the ghosts of his former business partners, the Marley brothers, visit him in the night. They warn him three spirits are coming to make him change his ways by showing him visions of the past, the present and what the future may hold. Comedy, with Michael Caine and Steven Mackintosh alongside the puppet characters.

Miracle on 34th Street (1994) Film4 6:45pm-9:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A woman raises her six-year-old daughter to believe that Santa Claus does not exist, but they both have a change of heart after meeting a department store Father Christmas who claims to be the man himself. When the kindly fellow is accused of being a charlatan, his new friends engage a lawyer to prove his true identity. Remake of the 1947 family drama, with Richard Attenborough, Elizabeth Perkins, Mara Wilson and Dylan McDermott.

Ghostbusters II (1989) E4 8:00pm-10:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Timecop (1994) Spike 9:00pm-11:05pm
A federal agent entrusted with preventing the misuse of time travel sets out to track down a corrupt politician who plans to manipulate history. However, he also faces the temptation to abuse his powers so he can prevent his wife’s death. Sci-fi adventure, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Ron Silver, Bruce McGill and Mia Sara.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, good luck and happy hunting!

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Yay! Weekend time again folks, Thank the god of weekends because they have packed it to the brim for us movie loving geeks. From adventuring archaeologists, teenage wizardry, shrimp boat captains, teenage romantics and firemen, it’s a fine time to stay in with us so put your feet up and completely immerse yourself in this weekends retro extravaganza. Enjoy yourself folks!

SATURDAY 18th November

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Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) ITV2 2:00pm-3:50pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

The Fifth Element (1997) 5STAR 4:40pm-7:10pm
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman.

Dante’s Peak (1997) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A vulcanologist’s suspicions that a long-dormant volcano is about to erupt turn out to be true, prompting him to race against time to save the community standing in its way – and clash with local government officials weighing his predictions against the loss in tourism revenue. Disaster movie, starring Pierce Brosnan, Linda Hamilton, Elizabeth Hoffman and Charles Hallahan.

Stephen King’s It (1990) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-12:50am (3 hours 50 minutes)
A boy’s murder alerts seven friends that a supernatural enemy they fought as children has returned. But after 30 years apart, the reluctant heroes struggle to overcome their worst fears and find the courage necessary to defeat such an inhuman force. Horror, starring Tim Curry, Richard Thomas, Tim Reid, John Ritter and Olivia Hussey.

Darkman (1990) Film4 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
A scientist working on synthetic skin is horribly disfigured and left for dead by a criminal gang. Now unable to feel pain, he continues his research, creating artificial faces that will last for only a short time. He uses these disguises to aid him in taking revenge on those who mutilated him – while also using a mask of his own face to see the girlfriend who thinks he died. Thriller, starring Liam Neeson and Frances McDormand.

First Blood (1982) ITV 10:55pm-12:40am (1 hour 45 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo is wrongfully arrested in a backwoods town and tested to the limits of his endurance by a brutal deputy. Rambo escapes from his cell and heads out to the woods, and with the forces of the law in hot pursuit he finally has the chance to fight them on his own terms. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Brian Dennehy, Richard Crenna and David Caruso.

Aliens (1986) Film4 11:00pm-2:05am (3 hours 5 minutes)
Lone survivor Ripley is rescued in deep space decades after an alien creature wiped out her ship’s entire crew. She is recruited to accompany a military expedition to a colony on the planet where she first encountered the monster, only to find the aliens have been reproducing and there are now hordes of them. James Cameron’s sci-fi thriller sequel, with Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn and Lance Henriksen.

SUNDAY 19th November

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Carry On Screaming (1966) ITV 11:05am-12:55pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A sinister boffin, his sultry sister and two genetic misfits kidnap innocent women from spooky Hocomb Woods and turn them into mannequins – but two dim-witted detectives look set to throw a spanner in the works. Comedy horror, starring Kenneth Williams, Fenella Fielding, Harry H Corbett, Charles Hawtrey, Jim Dale, Joan Sims and Bernard Bresslaw.

A Walk in the Clouds (1995) Sony Movie Channel 4:10pm-6:25pm
A salesman, recently returned from the Second World War, meets a pregnant woman who is anxious about going back to live on her strict parents’ vineyard, so he agrees to pose as her husband to calm the waters. But once there, he is reluctant to give up the pleasures of the simple life, despite having a real wife back home. Romantic drama, starring Keanu Reeves, Aitana Sanchez-Gijon and Anthony Quinn.

Fun Fact: Keanu Reeves was injured during a friendly game of hockey with his friends during spare time. His lip was split, requiring six stitches. In his next scheduled scene, a love scene with Debra Messing, he was quoted as saying to her: “please don’t hurt me.”

Men in Black II (2002) Channel 4 5:20pm-7:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Agent J investigates the unauthorised landing of a spacecraft and discovers a malevolent alien disguised as a lingerie model is on the verge of destroying humanity. His only hope of stopping her diabolical plot is to restore the memory of his retired partner K – but his former mentor takes more than a little convincing. Sci-fi comedy sequel, directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Rosario Dawson, Lara Flynn Boyle, Johnny Knoxville, Rip Torn and Tony Shalhoub.

Cliffhanger (1993) ITV4 9:00pm-11:15pm
A retired mountain rescue expert is drawn into a battle of wits with a psychopathic criminal searching for a $100million fortune lost in the Rockies – and puts his life on the line as he negotiates the treacherous mountains in a bid to stay one step ahead of the crook. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, Janine Turner and Michael Rooker.

Hard to Kill (1990) ITV4 11:15pm-1:20am
A gang of drug dealers attacks the home of a Los Angeles cop, leaving him in a coma and his wife dead. Seven years later, he regains consciousness and gets ready to exact a grisly payback on the murderers. As he embarks on his deadly mission of vengeance, he learns his son also survived the attack, but was told he is dead. Thriller, with Steven Seagal, Kelly LeBrock, Bill Sadler and Frederick Coffin.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget to wipe your feet and always keep both shoes together when not wearing them. It’s a nightmare otherwise.

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Hot bowls and spiky sticks! Another retro movie weekend is here and ready to rock this weekend.

Picking only the finest selection of cheeses we can muster, we will begin to chop, grate and mix all these subtle flavours together to create something bigger than the sum of it’s parts. We will begin to slowly heat, melt and mix our concoction, adding a touch of this, a splash of that and a hint of something else. Slowly stirring into the most delicious and winter warming fondue we have ever seen, we will marvel at our creation before mopping up the entire pot with a mix of tasty treats on sticks.

SATURDAY 11th November

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Getting Even with Dad (1994) 5STAR 11:30am-1:40pm
Spoilt child Timmy goes to live with his outwardly respectable father, but realises he is a small-time thief planning his latest robbery. Timmy sets out to reform his dad, and in the meantime manages to fix him up with an attractive undercover cop – leading to much confusion. Family comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Ted Danson, Glenne Headly and Hector Elizondo.

Fun Fact: Saul Rubinek was really hit in the nose with a bat during the scene where he falls down the stairs at the stadium. Since Rubinek was caught off guard, his reaction gave the scene a more realistic look.

Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 11:45am-1:50pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Roald Dahl Merchandise

Short Circuit 2 (1988) Film4 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Manic mechanoid Johnny Five meets an old friend in New York City and embarks on a fact-finding tour – but ends up entangled in a series of escapades culminating in a bank robbery. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean, Cynthia Gibb and Jack Weston, with the voice of Tim Blaney.

Labyrinth (1986) 5STAR 1:40pm-3:40pm
A teenager wishes her baby brother would be taken away, only to have her request granted by a band of goblins and their sinister king. She regrets her decision and sets out to rescue him, but to reach the castle where he is being held, she must find her way through a magical maze full of strange creatures. Jim Henson’s fantasy adventure, starring Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie.

Labyrinth Merchandise

Bean (1997) ITV2 3:40pm-5:20pm
The hapless fool is employed as a security guard for a British art gallery and is sent to Los Angeles to bring back a famous painting. Unfortunately, he finds himself mistaken for a renowned art professor and invited to make an important presentation. Mel Smith’s British comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Burt Reynolds, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Peter Capaldi and June Brown.

Smokey and the Bandit II (1980) Sony Movie Channel 4:20pm-6:35pm
The maverick haulier must overcome a crisis of confidence when he and his friends are hired to transport a pregnant elephant to Texas, a mammoth task that proves far from easy, especially with their old enemy in hot pursuit. Road comedy, with Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Dom DeLuise and Sally Field.

SUNDAY 12th November

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Look Who’s Talking Now (1993) Sony Movie Channel 1:05pm-3:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A family takes in two pet dogs, a scruffy mongrel with discipline problems and a prim and proper pedigree poodle, whose personality clashes create all sorts of mayhem for the household. Comedy sequel, starring John Travolta and Kirstie Alley, plus the voices of Diane Keaton and Danny DeVito as the canine duo.

Men in Black (1997) Channel 4 4:45pm-6:30pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.

Big Daddy (1999) Sony Movie Channel 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
An immature 32-year-old is heartbroken when his girlfriend walks out on him. In a plan to win her back, he volunteers to look after his flatmate’s five-year-old son, thus demonstrating he is finally ready to grow up. However, his ideas of childcare prove unconventional and chaos quickly ensues. Comedy, with Adam Sandler, Joey Lauren Adams, Jon Stewart, Josh Mostel, Leslie Mann, Rob Schneider and Kristy Swanson, alongside Steve Buscemi in a cameo role.

Quantum of Solace (2008) ITV2 8:00pm-10:15pm
James Bond sets out on a personal mission of vengeance as he pursues the secret criminal organisation Quantum. His search leads him to the head of an ecological corporation, who is plotting to orchestrate a coup in a Latin American country to get his hands on a precious natural resource. Spy thriller sequel, starring Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko, Judi Dench, Gemma Arterton and Mathieu Amalric.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep it cheesy.

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Bobble hats and raincoats! Another retro movie weekend has landed!

With so much to see and explore, we find ourselves in new and unfamiliar territory. With our bags packed and fit to burst, we’ll grab a trusty map and head off into the day. Discovering more and more with each mile we cover, we will fill our minds and empty our water bottles quicker than expected before reaching our final destination. What happens next will changes our lives forever.

SATURDAY 3rd November

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Coneheads
(1993) Film4 1:00pm-2:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An alien couple and their daughter crash-land on Earth and try to blend into suburban society, all the while dodging the immigration authorities and their increasingly suspicious neighbours. Comedy, starring Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin, Michael McKean, Jason Alexander, Michelle Burke, David Spade and Chris Farley.

Father of the Bride (1991) ITV 3:55pm-6:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A doting father is taken aback when his daughter announces she is getting married, and is thrown into a whirlwind of increasingly complicated wedding plans, a struggle to live up to the expectations of his wealthy future in-laws and the sad realisation that his little girl has grown up. Remake of the 1950s comedy, with Steve Martin, Diane Keaton, Kimberly Williams and Martin Short.

Earthquake (1974) Film4 4:45pm-7:10pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
In the aftermath of a catastrophic earthquake in Los Angeles, an architect helping in the rescue effort searches the smouldering ruins for his missing wife. Meanwhile, other residents, including an insubordinate cop, a lecherous shopkeeper and a daredevil motorcyclist, face their own battles for survival. Disaster movie, starring Charlton Heston, Ava Gardner, Genevieve Bujold, Richard Roundtree and George Kennedy.

Legend (1985) Film4 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A peasant boy, who has a special bond with animals and fairies, shows his sweetheart the last surviving unicorns. Unfortunately, a monstrous demon and his goblin henchmen despise the mythical creatures and trick the girl into harming one of them, forcing Jack to act quickly to save her immortal soul. Ridley Scott’s fantasy adventure, starring Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry and David Bennent.

SUNDAY 4th November

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Matilda
(1996) Sony Movie Channel 12:30pm-2:30pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Roald Dahl Merchandise

Bean (1997) ITV2 1:45pm-3:30pm
The hapless fool is employed as a security guard for a British art gallery and is sent to Los Angeles to bring back a famous painting. Unfortunately, he finds himself mistaken for a renowned art professor and invited to make an important presentation. Mel Smith’s British comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Burt Reynolds, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Peter Capaldi and June Brown.

Sleepless in Seattle (1993) Sony Movie Channel 2:30pm-4:40pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A widowed father is coping badly with his wife’s death, but his son is convinced that what he really needs is some new romance in his life. He arranges for his dad to go on a radio phone-in show, and his touching story moves a reporter to respond, even though she is already engaged. She returns to her fiance, but the boy, certain she is the woman for his father, plots to bring them together. Romantic comedy, with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

Short Circuit 2 (1988) Film4 3:45pm-6:05pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Manic mechanoid Johnny Five meets an old friend in New York City and embarks on a fact-finding tour – but ends up entangled in a series of escapades culminating in a bank robbery. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean, Cynthia Gibb and Jack Weston, with the voice of Tim Blaney.

Grease (1978) Channel 5 5:00pm-7:15pm
Rebellious American teenager Danny falls for innocent Australian girl Sandy during summer holidays, but when he later finds out she is a new student at his school, he risks losing her love by trying to act cool in front of his friends. Romantic musical set in 1950s, starring John Travolta, Olivia Newton-John, Stockard Channing, Jeff Conaway, Didi Conn and Sid Caesar.

Grease Merchandise

Whatever you’re up to this weekend,

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Great balls of fire! Another movie packed weekend is among us, can you smell it?

Setting up our little white ball on it’s plucky little wooden tee, we will slowly and eagerly line up our shot. Taking a little practice before, we will begin to line up our club of choice behind the ball as we gaze into the distance to really visualise what’s about to happen. With our head held down, legs slightly bent and shoulders relaxed, we will pull back the club before swooshing through with more rhythm than a grandfather clock. Will the ball go where we aimed? The ducks on the pond better hope so!

SATURDAY 27th October

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Overboard
(1987) ITV 3:25pm-5:30pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A wealthy heiress suffers amnesia after falling overboard from her yacht. A rough-hewn carpenter and father of four steps in and claims to be her husband – but only to avenge himself for her previous ill-treatment of him, which she has no recollection of. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Roddy McDowall and Edward Herrmann.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) ITV2 6:45pm-10:20pm
Frodo and Sam continue their quest to destroy the all-powerful ring, bringing them face to face with the magical artefact’s twisted former owner Gollum. Meanwhile, their allies prepare to make a desperate last stand against the vast armies of the corrupted wizard Saruman, who has declared war on a neighbouring kingdom. Part two of Peter Jackson’s fantasy adventure trilogy, starring Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Viggo Mortensen, Ian McKellen, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Andy Serkis and Christopher Lee.

Lord of the Rings Merchandise

Reservoir Dogs (1992) ITV4 11:00pm-1:05am
Criminals are employed by a crime boss to carry out a diamond robbery that goes disastrously wrong. In the bloody aftermath of the heist, they try to establish what happened and how the police were aware of their plans all along – leading to the hardening suspicion that one of them betrayed the gang. Quentin Tarantino’s thriller, starring Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Chris Penn and Steve Buscemi.

Airplane! (1980) ITV 11:45pm-1:25am (1 hour 40 minutes)
The passengers on board an ill-fated airliner become increasingly jittery when the flight crew flounder during a food-poisoning crisis. As ground control personnel struggle heroically to ensure the plane lands safely, a traumatised war veteran must face his fear to take the controls. Spoof disaster movie, starring Robert Hays, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack and Lloyd Bridges.

Airplane! Merchandise

SUNDAY 28th October

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Hocus Pocus
(1993) Channel 4 3:20pm-5:15pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A teenager in Salem, Massachusetts, breaks into a spooky house on Halloween and accidentally resurrects three witches who have been dead for 300 years. The sorceresses are soon causing chaos while seeking a suitable sacrifice for a ritual to give them eternal youth. However, an old foe – a boy they turned into a cat – is on hand to help stop their mischief. Supernatural Disney comedy, with Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy and Omri Katz.

Vice Versa (1988) Film4 5:25pm-7:20pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A department store executive returns from a trip to Thailand in possession of a mysterious artefact that causes him to change places with his 11-year-old son. While the horrified father struggles to cope with a world of teachers and school bullies, the youngster is revelling in the perks of being a grown-up. Fantasy comedy, starring Judge Reinhold, Fred Savage, Swoosie Kurtz and Corinne Bohrer.

Fun Fact: There have been four television versions of F. Anstey’s “Vice Versa (1882) novel. They are: Vice Versa (1937), Vice Versa (1953), Vice Versa (1961), and Vice Versa (1981).

The Man in the Iron Mask (1998) Channel 5 5:35pm-8:00pm
The Three Musketeers set out to depose the villainous King of France and reinstate his long-imprisoned twin brother. However, they face an unexpected threat in the form of old friend D’Artagnan, who has remained loyal to the evil monarch. Swashbuckling adventure, starring Leonardo DiCaprio in a dual role, alongside John Malkovich, Jeremy Irons, Gerard Depardieu, Gabriel Byrne, Anne Parillaud and Hugh Laurie.

Coneheads (1993) Film4 7:20pm-9:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An alien couple and their daughter crash-land on Earth and try to blend into suburban society, all the while dodging the immigration authorities and their increasingly suspicious neighbours. Comedy, starring Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin, Michael McKean, Jason Alexander, Michelle Burke, David Spade and Chris Farley.

Die Hard 2 (1990) E4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife, but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

Fright Night (1985) Film4 10:55pm-1:10am (2 hours 15 minutes)
A teenager becomes convinced his new next door neighbour is a vampire responsible for a series of recent disappearances. Finding nobody is willing to believe his unlikely story, he seeks the aid of a washed-up movie star famous for playing a vampire hunter in destroying the monster. Comedy horror, starring Chris Sarandon, Roddy McDowall, William Ragsdale, Amanda Bearse and Stephen Geoffreys.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t let the muggles get you down and remember to always have tea bags in the cupboard.

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