Angelina Jolie

Kris Kringle! Another retro movie weekend is here and is coming jam-packed with classic movie goodness!

With a brush and a scrape, we find ourselves frantically chipping away at the nights frost which has decided to make a semi-permanent home on our windscreen. With our fingers and toes quickly matching the temperature of the ice itself, we’ll slowly begin to reveal the clear shiny glass beneath the ice blanket, watching our breath slowly rise and fade away into the clear sky.

SATURDAY 1st December

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The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) Film4 1:00pm-2:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An embittered Victorian miser hates the festive season and people in general, but on Christmas Eve, the ghosts of his former business partners, the Marley brothers, visit him in the night. They warn him three spirits are coming to make him change his ways by showing him visions of the past, the present and what the future may hold. Comedy, with Michael Caine and Steven Mackintosh alongside the puppet characters.

Muppets Merchandise

Santa Claus: The Movie (1985) ITV3 2:45pm-5:00pm
An impulsive elf walks out on Father Christmas during the hectic preparations for the festive season, and heads for New York determined to make a name for himself. However, he falls into the clutches of an evil toy manufacturer, who has a devilish money-making plan up his sleeve. Family fantasy adventure, starring Dudley Moore, John Lithgow, David Huddleston, Burgess Meredith and Judy Cornwell.

Superman (1978) ITV4 3:25pm-6:20pm
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman Merchandise

Nacho Libre (2006) ITV4 6:20pm-8:10pm
A portly Mexican friar working as a cook in an orphanage adopts the guise of a masked wrestler. He teams up with a thief and enters a tournament hoping to win enough money to sort out the monastery’s financial problems, feed the kids under his care and impress the nun he is in love with. Comedy, starring Jack Black and Ana de la Reguera.

The Nutty Professor (1996) ITV4 8:10pm-10:00pm
An obese, terminally shy professor invents a potion that transforms him into a slim, loud-mouthed charmer. His new streamlined self immediately sets out to woo the woman of his dreams – but soon starts to ride roughshod over everything he used to care about. Remake of the 1963 Jerry Lewis comedy, starring Eddie Murphy, Jada Pinkett Smith, James Coburn and Larry Miller.

The Bone Collector (1999) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:35pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
A quadriplegic ex-cop is saved from the brink of suicide by a rookie female officer needing his expertise to form a psychological profile of a serial killer. The murderer is posing as a cab driver and terrorising Manhattan, and has a gruesome habit of taking trophies from his victims’ bodies. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Michael Rooker, Mike McGlone, Luis Guzman and Queen Latifah.

Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) Dave 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Headstrong cop Martin Riggs and his cautious partner Roger Murtaugh stumble across a plot by a South African diplomat to launder drugs money by shipping gold coins into the US via his embassy. Protected by diplomatic immunity, the crook looks certain to evade the law – while his chief henchman has a connection to Riggs’ traumatic past. Action thriller sequel, with Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Joss Ackland, Derrick O’Connor and Patsy Kensit.

Rambo III (1988) ITV 10:35pm-12:25am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Rambo TShirts

SUNDAY 2nd December

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Wild Wild West (1999) Dave 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours)
A government agent teams up with a gadget-mad master of disguise to investigate the disappearance of several scientists. Their search leads them to an evil genius who is plotting to kill the US president with some bizarre inventions of his own. Sci-fi Western comedy, starring Will Smith, Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, Salma Hayek and Ted Levine.

Flight of the Navigator (1986) Film4 3:15pm-5:05pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978, and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens.

Shrek (2001) Channel 4 5:50pm-7:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Anti-social ogre Shrek resolves to stop an evil ruler from banishing fairy-tale characters to his swampland home. However, the reluctant hero ends up forced to rescue the beautiful Princess Fiona from a castle guarded by a dragon, aided only by a wisecracking donkey. Animated comedy, with the voices of Mike Myers, John Lithgow, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Vincent Cassel.

Mars Attacks! (1996) ITV4 12:30am-2:40am
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, stay warm and keep cooooool!

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Click, clunk, BRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR! Another retro movie weekend is here and ready to rock our lives with its movie goodness.

Dragging out, plumbing in and hooking up our trusty pressure washer, we find ourselves faced with the dirty decking from hell. Covered with many years of weather and BBQ good times, the once light and solid decking has now become darkened with age and pretty sorry for itself in places. Firing up the water machine from the future, we quickly begin to splash some lift back into it. With each pass of super high pressure water, we will reveal the hidden beauty.

SATURDAY 7th October

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Sleepless in Seattle (1993) Sony Movie Channel 9:10am-11:30am
A widowed father is coping badly with his wife’s death, but his son is convinced that what he really needs is some new romance in his life. He arranges for his dad to go on a radio phone-in show, and his touching story moves a reporter to respond, even though she is already engaged. She returns to her fiance, but the boy, certain she is the woman for his father, plots to bring them together. Romantic comedy, with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

Godzilla (1998) Sony Movie Channel 11:30am-2:20pm
A giant mutant lizard spawned from an atomic test rampages through the streets of New York, defying the combined might of the US Army and Navy as it searches for a quiet place to hatch its eggs. A bookish radiation expert and a shady French secret agent join forces to defeat the creature. Hollywood remake of the Japanese monster adventure, starring Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Maria Pitillo and Hank Azaria.

Oliver! (1968) 5STAR 11:55am-2:55pm
Oscar-winning musical version of the stage play based on Charles Dickens’ classic tale about a lonely workhouse orphan who ends up on the cold streets of London, where he falls under the wing of petty crook Fagin and his gang of young backstreet thieves. Featuring the iconic songs Food, Glorious Food, Consider Yourself, As Long as He Needs Me and You’ve Got to Pick a Pocket or Two. Starring Ron Moody, Mark Lester, Oliver Reed, Jack Wild, Harry Secombe, Shani Wallis and Leonard Rossiter.

Crocodile Dundee (1986) Film4 4:55pm-6:50pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A New York reporter searches the Australian Outback for a maverick hunter with a legendary reputation, and invites the adventurer back to America. But the die-hard Aussie needs to draw on all his survival skills to adjust to life in the urban jungle. Comedy adventure, written by and starring Paul Hogan, with Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Mark Blum.

Crocodile Dundee II (1988) Film4 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The rugged Australian adventurer sets out to save his reporter girlfriend from New York drug dealers. Having rescued her from their clutches, he realises they will soon be coming after him – so he decides to even the odds by luring them to the Outback for a final showdown. Comedy adventure sequel, starring Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Charles S Dutton.

Big Daddy (1999) Sony Movie Channel 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
An immature 32-year-old is heartbroken when his girlfriend walks out on him. In a plan to win her back, he volunteers to look after his flatmate’s five-year-old son, thus demonstrating he is finally ready to grow up. However, his ideas of childcare prove unconventional and chaos quickly ensues. Comedy, with Adam Sandler, Joey Lauren Adams, Jon Stewart, Josh Mostel, Leslie Mann, Rob Schneider and Kristy Swanson, alongside Steve Buscemi in a cameo role.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) 7:45pm-9:30pm
An eccentric but brilliant former cop sets himself up to champion the underdog – as a private eye specialising in locating missing animals. The zany detective is called in to find a kidnapped dolphin – the mascot of an American football team – and uncovers a plot involving high-level police corruption. Comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Courteney Cox, Sean Young, Tone Loc and Noble Willingham.

The Bone Collector (1999) Sony Movie Channel 10:00pm-11:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A quadriplegic ex-cop is saved from the brink of suicide by a rookie female officer needing his expertise to form a psychological profile of a serial killer. The murderer is posing as a cab driver and terrorising Manhattan, and has a gruesome habit of taking trophies from his victims’ bodies. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Michael Rooker, Mike McGlone, Luis Guzman and Queen Latifah.

SUNDAY 8th October

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Innerspace (1987) Channel 5 12:30pm-2:50pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A Navy test pilot is shrunk in a ground-breaking scientific experiment, but instead of being injected into a laboratory rabbit, the tiny specimen accidentally winds up inside a hypochondriac supermarket worker. As he tries to find a way out, criminals come after the unlikely duo in search of the secret of the miniaturising technology. Sci-fi comedy, starring Dennis Quaid, Martin Short, Meg Ryan, Kevin McCarthy, Fiona Lewis and Vernon Wells.

Hercules (1983) Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The mighty ancient Greek hero, created by the gods to be the strongest man in the world, sets out to rescue a princess from an evil wizard. However, the sorcerer has created deadly mechanical monsters to prevent his plans being thwarted. Fantasy adventure, starring Lou Ferrigno, Sybil Danning and Brad Harris.

Mannequin (1987) Channel 5 2:50pm-4:35pm
A struggling artist gets a job as a window dresser for a department store, only to discover one of his dummies is a reincarnated Egyptian princess who comes to life at night. As he falls for the living doll, she inspires him to transform the shop’s display and make it the most spectacular in town. Fantasy comedy, starring Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall. Edited for language and sexual references.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) Spike 6:50pm-9:00pm
Two notorious outlaws’ routine of bank and train robberies is cut short when a seemingly unstoppable posse is formed to catch them. The pair plan to flee America and start a new life in Bolivia, with the Sundance Kid’s schoolmistress lover in tow – but staying ahead of the law is not so easy. Western, starring Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Katharine Ross.

Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) E4 9:55pm-12:20am (2 hours 25 minutes)
Feisty heroine Annie and her new boyfriend Alex take a cruise in the Bahamas, but the trip becomes a nightmare when they discover a vengeful computer genius – a former employee laid off because of his terminal illness – is also on board. He has secretly programmed the ship to crash into an oil tanker while he steals a cache of diamonds from the cargo. Action thriller sequel, with Sandra Bullock, Jason Patric and Willem Dafoe.

Gladiator (2000) Film4 9:00pm-12:00am (3 hours)
Roman general Maximus Decimus Meridius is a casualty of a power struggle between the corrupt Emperor Commodus and the senate. Ordered to be put to death along with his family, he escapes his would-be killers but is sold into slavery as a gladiator – but uses his fame in the arena to fight against the tyrant. Oscar-winning period epic, with Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Derek Jacobi and Oliver Reed.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, there is no such things as ‘too much cheese’ and always keep both gloves together. It’s handy…

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Great bubbles and ladders! Another retro movie weekend he here! So soon!

Watching our buckets fill with roaring white water, we will reach our ladder high into the air before clunking it against the cold stone wall. with our bucket and window squeegee in hand, we will splash, rub and swoosh our way to window cleaning perfection. Mopping away each streak and dribble, we will step down from our lofty excursion to admire our handy work and shimmery window cleaning perfection.

SATURDAY 2nd September

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Muppet Treasure Island (1996) E4 11:55am-1:55pm (2 hours)
A youngster finds a treasure map and joins an expedition searching for a famous buccaneer’s lost treasure on an unexplored island. However, their mission falls foul of a band of pirates hiding out among the crew. Musical comedy based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, starring Tim Curry, Billy Connolly, Jennifer Saunders and Kevin Bishop alongside the puppet characters.

The Muppets Gifts

Sleepless in Seattle (1993) Sony Movie Channel 12:00pm-2:20pm
A widowed father is coping badly with his wife’s death, but his son is convinced that what he really needs is some new romance in his life. He arranges for his dad to go on a radio phone-in show, and his touching story moves a reporter to respond, even though she is already engaged. She returns to her fiance, but the boy, certain she is the woman for his father, plots to bring them together. Romantic comedy, with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

Three Men and a Little Lady (1990) 5STAR 2:35pm-4:45pm
Bachelor Jack and his two best buddies have brought up his baby Mary since she was left in their care by her mother, Sylvia. Now that Mary is five years old, Sylvia believes she needs a more conventional upbringing and decides to accept a marriage proposal from an English aristocrat, leaving the trio of dads rushing to stop the wedding. Comedy sequel, with Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and Steve Guttenberg.

Every Which Way But Loose (1978) ITV4 4:00pm-6:15pm
A truck driver travels across America with his faithful orang-utan competing in bare-knuckle fights for extra cash. He becomes smitten with a country singer who subsequently vanishes without a trace, so man and ape set off in search of her – with an enraged gang of bikers in pursuit. Action comedy, starring Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Geoffrey Lewis and Beverly D’Angelo.

Footloose (1984) 5STAR 4:45pm-7:00pm
A rebellious, hip-swinging student from the city moves to a small religious community, where he instantly clashes with an old-school fire-and-brimstone preacher – who has banned dancing and rock ‘n’ roll because he considers them immoral. Drama, starring Kevin Bacon, Lori Singer, John Lithgow, Chris Penn, Dianne Wiest and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Mrs Doubtfire (1993) Film4 6:35pm-9:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A struggling actor’s ambitious, no-nonsense wife throws him out and demands a divorce. Desperate to spend time with his children, he puts his talents to good use by donning drag and posing as a Scottish housekeeper to get a job looking after them. Comedy, starring Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein and Mara Wilson.

The Full Monty (1997) BBC1 9:00pm-10:25pm (1 hour 25 minutes)
Six unemployed men from Sheffield decide to become strippers for one night only in a bid to raise extra money. However, with no dancing experience and far from perfect physiques, the men rely on the unique selling point of complete nudity to impress the punters. Comedy, starring Robert Carlyle, Mark Addy, Tom Wilkinson, Hugo Speer and Paul Barber.

SUNDAY 3rd September

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The Evil Dead (1982) Film4 2:10am-4:00am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Five students staying in a remote cabin find an ancient magical book, and unwittingly unleash evil spirits on the world. The dark forces they have conjured up possess them one by one, transforming them into ravenous zombies with an insatiable desire to feast on the living. Sam Raimi’s horror, starring Bruce Campbell and Ellen Sandweiss.

Moonstruck (1987) Sony Movie Channel 1:15pm-3:30pm
An Italian-American widow agrees to marry an older man – only to fall head over heels in love with his younger brother, leaving her facing an impossible choice. Romantic comedy, starring Cher in an Oscar-winning role, with Nicolas Cage, Olympia Dukakis and Danny Aiello.

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) ITV2 2:55pm-4:45pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

The Secret Garden (1993) ITV3 2:55pm-5:00pm
An orphan is sent to live with her uncle in his forbidding Yorkshire mansion, where she meets her bedridden cousin – a boy she knew nothing about. She also stumbles across a marvellous but neglected garden, and sets about nursing them both back to health, with the help of a lad from a nearby village. Children’s drama, based on Frances Hodgson Burnett’s book, with Kate Maberly, Heydon Prowse, Andrew Knott, Maggie Smith and John Lynch.

Phenomenon (1996) Sony Movie Channel 6:20pm-9:00pm
An unassuming car mechanic observes a peculiar bright light one evening on the way home from a bar, and finds himself transformed into a genius with telekinetic powers. However, he is unprepared for the problems that lie ahead, as he struggles to woo a divorced single mother while coping with his new-found gift. Fantasy drama, starring John Travolta, Kyra Sedgwick, Forest Whitaker and Robert Duvall.

Evolution (2001) Film4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
Two science teachers investigate a mysterious meteor and discover it is oozing a strange fluid containing millions of minuscule but rapidly evolving organisms – which start to turn into terrifying alien monsters with a taste for human flesh. Sci-fi comedy, starring David Duchovny, Orlando Jones, Julianne Moore, Seann William Scott, Dan Aykroyd and Ted Levine.

The Bone Collector (1999) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:40pm
A quadriplegic ex-cop is saved from the brink of suicide by a rookie female officer needing his expertise to form a psychological profile of a serial killer. The murderer is posing as a cab driver and terrorising Manhattan, and has a gruesome habit of taking trophies from his victims’ bodies. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Michael Rooker, Mike McGlone, Luis Guzman and Queen Latifah.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always have a zombie back-up plan and remember to just keep on swimming.

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Boxes and bubble wrap! Another retro movie weekend is here!

With a full weekend ahead of packing, shifting and unpacking, we will move all our worldly possessions to our new venture. Leaving behind memories, a few bad smells and probably that spoon the went missing a while back, we will set sail into the next ocean of life as we move from humble beginnings onto ventures new.

SATURDAY 26th August

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The Dark Crystal (1982) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971) BBC2 11:55am-1:50pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A novice witch befriends three children and takes them on a series of magical journeys, including a visit to a land inhabited by cartoon animals, where they get involved in a decidedly one-sided football match against a spoilt lion king. Disney’s part-animated musical fantasy, starring Angela Lansbury, David Tomlinson, Roddy McDowall and Sam Jaffe.

Hook (1991) Sony Channel 11:00am-2:05pm
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Heat (1995) Dave 11:00pm-2:30am (3 hours 30 minutes)
An armoured car hold-up sets a veteran police detective on the trail of a highly intelligent career criminal, whom he is obsessed with capturing. Meanwhile, the robber is planning an elaborate bank heist as his final job before retiring, and a complex game of cat and mouse develops between the two. Michael Mann’s crime thriller, starring Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Jon Voight, Tom Sizemore and Natalie Portman.

SUNDAY 27th August

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The Mask of Zorro (1998) Sony Movie Channel 9:00am-11:50am
The sword-wielding saviour of Spanish California returns after 20 years in prison, tutoring a thief to take over his heroic role and tackle corrupt government officials, who are using slave labour to mine gold illegally. Both mentor and pupil have personal scores to settle with their enemies, led by a ruthless governor and a psychotic military officer. Swashbuckling adventure, with Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Muppet Treasure Island (1996) E4 2:05pm-4:05pm (2 hours)
A youngster finds a treasure map and joins an expedition searching for a famous buccaneer’s lost treasure on an unexplored island. However, their mission falls foul of a band of pirates hiding out among the crew. Musical comedy based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, starring Tim Curry, Billy Connolly, Jennifer Saunders and Kevin Bishop alongside the puppet characters.

The Muppets Merchandise

Mrs Doubtfire (1993) Film4 3:25pm-5:50pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A struggling actor’s ambitious, no-nonsense wife throws him out and demands a divorce. Desperate to spend time with his children, he puts his talents to good use by donning drag and posing as a Scottish housekeeper to get a job looking after them. Comedy, starring Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein and Mara Wilson.

Superman (1978) ITV 3:40pm-6:30pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Toy Story 2 (1999) BBC1 4:35pm-6:05pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
Cowboy doll Woody is stolen by an unscrupulous toy collector, who knows he is worth a fortune as a collectible, prompting fearless Space Ranger Buzz Lightyear to lead a daring across-town mission to rescue him. However, Woody is tempted to spend his life languishing in the safety of a museum rather than face the prospect of his owner growing up. Animated sequel, featuring the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack and Kelsey Grammer.

Toy Story Gifts

Money Train (1995) Sony Movie Channel 11:05pm-1:25am
A New York cop in debt to loan sharks persuades his foster brother and fellow police officer to rob a train carrying all the day’s takings from the city’s subway network. However, things start to go wrong when a female detective creates rivalry between the pair, and a pyromaniac serial killer threatens their plans. Action comedy, starring Woody Harrelson, Wesley Snipes, Jennifer Lopez and Chris Cooper.

MONDAY 28th August

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Footloose (1984) 5STAR 7:00pm-9:00pm
A rebellious, hip-swinging student from the city moves to a small religious community, where he instantly clashes with an old-school fire-and-brimstone preacher – who has banned dancing and rock ‘n’ roll because he considers them immoral. Drama, starring Kevin Bacon, Lori Singer, John Lithgow, Chris Penn, Dianne Wiest and Sarah Jessica Parker.

The Bone Collector (1999) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A quadriplegic ex-cop is saved from the brink of suicide by a rookie female officer needing his expertise to form a psychological profile of a serial killer. The murderer is posing as a cab driver and terrorising Manhattan, and has a gruesome habit of taking trophies from his victims’ bodies. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Michael Rooker, Mike McGlone, Luis Guzman and Queen Latifah.

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) Film4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A London man’s misfortunes in love look set to change when he meets an American beauty. However, the prospect of a transatlantic relationship succeeding seems slim, so the pair go their separate ways – only for him to realise he is unable to get her out of his mind. Richard Curtis’s comedy, with Hugh Grant, Andie MacDowell, John Hannah, Charlotte Coleman, Kristin Scott Thomas, Simon Callow and James Fleet.

Patriot Games (1992) ITV4 10:05pm-12:25am
Former CIA agent Jack Ryan foils an assassination attempt by an IRA splinter group, killing one of the terrorists in the process. However, he becomes caught in a lethal game of cat-and-mouse with the dead man’s revenge-seeking brother. Thriller based on Tom Clancy’s novel, starring Harrison Ford, Sean Bean, Samuel L Jackson, Richard Harris and James Earl Jones, reprising his role from earlier Clancy adaptation The Hunt for Red October.

Whatever you’re up to this long bank holiday weekend, enjoy at least one lie in and make the most of everything. Every. Single. Thing.

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Shake a stick and dance a jig! It’s time for another retro movie weekend!

Like a well rehearsed and totally committed high board diver taking part in an international event (you choose), we find ourselves stepping up the long and nervous climb to reach our platform. Taking a moment to take in the scene, atmosphere and to gain composure, we’ll steady our breathing before stepping towards the edge of the world. Counting down to the big moment, we’ll coil like a spring ready to leap into action before springing into action for our moment of truth.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 13th August

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Bugsy Malone
(1976) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
Alan Parker’s slapstick musical comedy, featuring a cast composed entirely of children and following a war between rival gangsters in 1920s New York – fought with custard pies and cream-firing Tommy guns. When a slick mobster acquires devastating new weapons, his arch rival enlists the aid of a small-time chancer to steal them. Starring Scott Baio, Florrie Dugger and John Cassisi, with Jodie Foster in an early appearance.

Inspector Gadget (1999) Film4 1:00pm-2:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A clumsy security guard is critically injured during a run-in with a thief, so his cybernetics-expert employer transforms him into the ultimate crime-fighting machine – a bionic officer with an array of gadgets and weaponry cunningly concealed inside his body. Disney comedy adventure based on the 1980s cartoon series, starring Matthew Broderick, Rupert Everett and Joely Fisher.

The Mummy (1999) ITV 4:00pm-6:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A soldier of fortune joins an academic and her conniving brother on an expedition to an ancient Egyptian lost city. The explorers accidentally cause the spirit of a vengeful priest with awe-inspiring supernatural powers to rise from his tomb, leading to a desperate battle for survival. Fantasy action adventure, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo and Oded Fehr.

Mission: Impossible (1996) Film4 4:30pm-6:40pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Secret agents suspect there is a traitor in their organisation when their latest assignment ends in disaster. The sole survivor is accused of being the mole, forcing him to go on the run to clear his name. However, in the process, he discovers a former Russian spy is selling information about the world’s leading undercover operatives. Action thriller based on the 1960s TV series, starring Tom Cruise, Jon Voight and Ving Rhames.

Men in Black II (2002) Channel 4 6:20pm-8:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Agent J investigates the unauthorised landing of a spacecraft and discovers a malevolent alien disguised as a lingerie model is on the verge of destroying humanity. His only hope of stopping her diabolical plot is to restore the memory of his retired partner K – but his former mentor takes more than a little convincing. Sci-fi comedy sequel, directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Rosario Dawson, Lara Flynn Boyle, Johnny Knoxville, Rip Torn and Tony Shalhoub.

The Matrix Revolutions (2003) ITV2 9:00pm-11:25pm
As the survivors of the human race make their last stand against the machines, freedom fighters Neo and Trinity undertake a desperate journey into the heart of the enemy stronghold seeking a way to end the war, while the rogue computer programme Smith sets about remaking the virtual world of the Matrix in his own image. Conclusion of the sci-fi trilogy, starring Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne and Hugo Weaving.

Fun Fact: The name of the station between the Machine World and The Matrix is called Mobil Ave. Mobil is an anagram of Limbo, the traditional station between Heaven and Earth.

Gone in 60 Seconds (2000) Sky1 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A veteran car thief is forced out of retirement to steal 50 top-of-the-range vehicles in exchange for his brother’s life. While his sibling is held hostage by a sadistic gangster, he asks his former cronies to help – but with the clock ticking and just a few days remaining to pull off the daunting task, their chances of success are hanging by a thread. Thriller, starring Nicolas Cage, Angelina Jolie, Giovanni Ribisi and Robert Duvall.

Reservoir Dogs (1992) Spike 10:00pm-12:00am (2 hours)
Criminals are employed by a crime boss to carry out a diamond robbery that goes disastrously wrong. In the bloody aftermath of the heist, they try to establish what happened and how the police were aware of their plans all along – leading to the hardening suspicion that one of them betrayed the gang. Quentin Tarantino’s thriller, starring Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Chris Penn and Steve Buscemi.

Gladiator (2000) Channel 4 10:00pm-12:55am (2 hours 55 minutes)
Roman general Maximus Decimus Meridius is a casualty of a power struggle between the corrupt Emperor Commodus and the senate. Ordered to be put to death along with his family, he escapes his would-be killers but is sold into slavery as a gladiator – but uses his fame in the arena to fight against the tyrant. Oscar-winning period epic, with Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Derek Jacobi and Oliver Reed.

Lock Up (1989) ITV4 10:15pm-12:25am
A convict is transferred to a maximum security prison, where he falls foul of a sadistic warden with a grudge against him – and who abuses his position of power to make the inmate’s life a misery and destroy his good relationship with the guards. Thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Donald Sutherland, Darlanne Fluegel and Tom Sizemore.

Die Hard 2 (1990) Film4 11:15pm-1:35am (2 hours 20 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife, but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherto.

Fun Fact: The scenes with Bruce Willis running through tunnels under the airport were filmed at a water treatment facility miles underground near Los Angeles.

SUNDAY 14th August

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Porridge
(1979) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
Cellmates Fletcher and Godber are coerced into aiding an escape attempt organised by the sinister Grouty. However, the two jailbirds contrive to break back into prison before their absence is detected by the formidable Mr Mackay. Comedy based on the TV series, starring Ronnie Barker, Richard Beckinsale, Peter Vaughan, Fulton Mackay and Brian Wilde.

WarGames (1983) Channel 5 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A teenager hacks into a top-secret military supercomputer, which challenges him to what he thinks is a game. However, the machine has complete control of the US nuclear arsenal, and the youngster’s actions are unwittingly pushing the world to the brink of war. Thriller, starring Matthew Broderick, Ally Sheedy, Dabney Coleman and John Wood.

The Railway Children (1970) ITV3 3:40pm-5:55pm
Three Edwardian children are forced to leave their comfortable middle-class London home and move to the wilds of Yorkshire after their father is wrongfully imprisoned for treason. Family drama adapted from E Nesbit’s story, starring Jenny Agutter, Sally Thomsett, Gary Warren, Dinah Sheridan, Bernard Cribbins, William Mervyn and Iain Cuthbertson.

Predator (1987) Syfy 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
An elite military team takes on a top-secret mission in the jungles of Central America, but the soldiers realise they have been deceived by their CIA employers. A greater danger presents itself when they are stalked by a lethal alien big-game hunter with the power to become invisible, that has come to Earth to stalk human prey. Sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers and Bill Duke.

Aliens (1986) E4 9:00pm-12:05am (3 hours 5 minutes)
Lone survivor Ripley is rescued in deep space decades after an alien creature wiped out her ship’s entire crew. She is recruited to accompany a military expedition to a colony on the planet where she first encountered the monster, only to find the aliens have been reproducing and there are now hordes of them. James Cameron’s sci-fi thriller sequel, with Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn and Lance Henriksen.

The Deer Hunter (1978) ITV4 9:00pm-12:40am
The lives of three American steelworkers and their families are torn apart in the wake of the Vietnam War. After enduring horrific treatment in a prison camp during the conflict, the three friends return to their homes but struggle to readjust to normal life. Oscar-winning drama, starring Robert De Niro, Christopher Walken, Meryl Streep, John Savage and John Cazale in his last film role.

Pulp Fiction (1994) 10:00pm-1:00am (3 hours)
A series of interlinked stories about the Los Angeles underworld. A hitman plays minder to his boss’s wife, and he and his partner deal with a dead body following a mishap with a gun. Meanwhile, a washed-up boxer goes on the run after refusing to throw a fight, and two lovers plot a hold-up in a diner. Quentin Tarantino’s crime drama, starring John Travolta, Samuel L Jackson, Uma Thurman, Bruce Willis, Ving Rhames, Tim Roth and Amanda Plummer.

Pulp Fiction Merchandise

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, put the heavy the stuff at the bottom and remember to book early to avoid disappointment.
xoxo

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Jingle all the way! Tis the season and tis certainly time for another installment of our Retro Movie Rundown!

Like a frantic parent with just a few hours left to finish wrapping up alllll the big and small gifts ready for the big day, we find ourselves faced with a battle involving paper, tape and patience.  We’ll get ever more creative with ways to wrap even the most obscure shapes and sizes just so we can hold the suspense for the recipient for just a little longer. We’ll start with a pile of items and materials and end up with a complete collection of suspense and joy.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 19th DECEMBER

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Stargate (1994) 5* 11:40am-2:05pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
An Egyptologist and a soldier head an expedition through a mysterious portal to an alien planet. The world they find resembles ancient Egypt and is under the rule of a tyrant who has convinced the downtrodden inhabitants that he is a god – until the humans incite the enslaved populace to fight back. Sci-fi adventure, starring Kurt Russell, James Spader and Jaye Davidson.

Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) Syfy 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Captain Picard and the Enterprise crew uncover a conspiracy by their own superiors and a sinister alien race to take over a peaceful world and exploit its power to prolong life. However, the crew is forced to defy Federation orders and turns renegade to protect the planet’s inhabitants. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, F Murray Abraham, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner and Michael Dorn.

Star Trek Clothing

Dad’s Army (1971) BBC2 London 5:00pm-6:35pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
The ragtag soldiers of the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard are given the chance to prove their mettle by apprehending three German aviators who have parachuted into the country in the vanguard of a suspected Nazi invasion. British comedy based on the TV series, starring Arthur Lowe, John Le Mesurier, Clive Dunn, Bill Pertwee, Ian Lavender and Arnold Ridley.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Comedy Central 5:00pm-7:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Merchandise

Wayne’s World (1992) GOLD 5:15pm-7:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Two heavy-metal fans broadcast an amateur TV programme from their basement. A slimy network executive offers them the chance to turn professional, but as they enjoy the perks of wealth and fame, they find their show being ruined by corporate interference. Comedy, starring Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Rob Lowe, Tia Carrere and Lara Flynn Boyle, with a cameo by Alice Cooper.

The Fugitive (1993) Dave 6:30pm-9:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
A doctor is convicted of his wife’s murder and forced to go on the run to prove his innocence – but his efforts to find the mysterious one-armed man he believes is the real killer are hampered by a tenacious US marshal. Thriller, starring Harrison Ford, an Oscar-winning Tommy Lee Jones, Sela Ward, Julianne Moore and Joe Pantoliano.

Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) ITV2 7:25pm-9:00pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, tires of being scary and decides to take over the friendly world of Christmas. After kidnapping Santa, he prepares to take his place and do Christmas in his own ghoulish way. Stop-motion animated fantasy, with the voices of Chris Sarandon, Catherine O’Hara and Paul Reubens, and a musical score by Danny Elfman.

Jackie Chan’s First Strike (1996) ITV4 8:30pm-10:15pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A Hong Kong cop delves into the murky world of international arms theft to track down a missing nuclear warhead – but the bad guys try to get him out of the way by framing him for murder. Martial arts adventure, starring Jackie Chan, Jackson Lou, Annie Wu, Bill Tung and Jouri Petrov. In Mandarin, Cantonese, English, Russian and Ukrainian.

The Inbetweeners Movie (2011) E4 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
Awkward teenagers Simon, Will, Jay and Neil plan a holiday to the Greek island of Crete after they finish their exams, hoping to experience drink, sex and debauchery beyond their wildest dreams. However, things do not quite work out as planned. Comedy based on the TV series, with Joe Thomas, Simon Bird, James Buckley and Blake Harrison.

Notting Hill (1999) ITV London 11:05pm-1:20am (2 hours 15 minutes)
A recently divorced bookshop owner finds love with a glamorous Hollywood film star, but ends up the focus of unwanted media interest – which makes maintaining a relationship a tricky proposition. Romantic comedy written by Richard Curtis, starring Hugh Grant, Julia Roberts, Rhys Ifans, Emma Chambers, James Dreyfus and Gina McKee.

Rambo III (1988) ITV4 10:15pm-12:20am (2 hours 5 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Fun Fact: John Rambo’s horse also appeared in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) as Indiana Jones’ horse.

SUNDAY 20th DECEMBER

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Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) Syfy 11:00am-1:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
The gun-toting treasure seeker is thrown into a furious battle with a mysterious secret society as she races against time to locate the missing pieces of a legendary artefact that grants the owner the ability to control time. Action adventure based on the video games, starring Angelina Jolie, Daniel Craig, Leslie Phillips, Iain Glen, Chris Barrie and Jon Voight.

WarGames (1983) 5* 1:45pm-4:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A teenager hacks into a top-secret military supercomputer, which challenges him to what he thinks is a game. However, the machine has complete control of the US nuclear arsenal, and the youngster’s actions are unwittingly pushing the world to the brink of war. Thriller, starring Matthew Broderick, Ally Sheedy, Dabney Coleman and John Wood.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) ITV3 1:50pm-3:55pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
An eccentric confectionery king announces that five children will be given a tour of his wondrous factory. The winners turn out to be a kind-hearted boy from a penniless family and four obnoxious brats, who face a terrible fate when they misbehave. Musical fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s classic book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum and Roy Kinnear.

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory Merchandise

Toy Story 3 (2010) BBC1 London 3:05pm-4:45pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Woody, Buzz and the other toys accidently end up in a daycare centre when their owner grows up. At first this seems like the perfect new home for them, but when they realise the dangers lurking under the surface, they begin to formulate an escape plan. Pixar animated adventure sequel, with the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Michael Keaton and Ned Beatty.

Toy Story Wallpaper

The Addams Family (1991) Channel 4 3:15pm-5:10pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Creepy couple Morticia and Gomez find their unconventional life threatened by a man claiming to be a long-lost relative. When they welcome him with open arms, they fall prey to a plot that could cost them their ancestral home and the family fortune. Black comedy based on the 1960s TV series, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman and Carel Struycken.

Pinocchio (1940) Channel 5 5:05pm-6:50pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A lonely old toy-maker’s dream of having a son comes true when a kindly fairy brings one of his puppets to life. The wooden boy wants to become a real human but has to prove his worth, a task easier said than done when so many temptations cross his path. Disney animated adventure, featuring the voices of Dick Jones, Christian Rub and Cliff Edwards.

Pinocchio Jewellery

Home Alone (1990) Channel 4 6:00pm-8:00pm (2 hours)
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

War of the Worlds (2005) Channel 5 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A divorced father’s rare weekend with his two estranged children descends into horror when alien war machines rise from beneath Earth and begin to systematically destroy every human being in their path – leaving the man with the dangerous task of getting his kids to safety. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi thriller, based on HG Wells’ novel, with Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin, Miranda Otto and Tim Robbins.

Whatever you’re up to, always remember to leave room for dessert and don’t forget to measure twice and cut once.

xoxo

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