Danny DeVito

Hot bowls and spiky sticks! Another retro movie weekend is here and ready to rock this weekend.

Picking only the finest selection of cheeses we can muster, we will begin to chop, grate and mix all these subtle flavours together to create something bigger than the sum of it’s parts. We will begin to slowly heat, melt and mix our concoction, adding a touch of this, a splash of that and a hint of something else. Slowly stirring into the most delicious and winter warming fondue we have ever seen, we will marvel at our creation before mopping up the entire pot with a mix of tasty treats on sticks.

SATURDAY 11th November

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Getting Even with Dad (1994) 5STAR 11:30am-1:40pm
Spoilt child Timmy goes to live with his outwardly respectable father, but realises he is a small-time thief planning his latest robbery. Timmy sets out to reform his dad, and in the meantime manages to fix him up with an attractive undercover cop – leading to much confusion. Family comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Ted Danson, Glenne Headly and Hector Elizondo.

Fun Fact: Saul Rubinek was really hit in the nose with a bat during the scene where he falls down the stairs at the stadium. Since Rubinek was caught off guard, his reaction gave the scene a more realistic look.

Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 11:45am-1:50pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Roald Dahl Merchandise

Short Circuit 2 (1988) Film4 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Manic mechanoid Johnny Five meets an old friend in New York City and embarks on a fact-finding tour – but ends up entangled in a series of escapades culminating in a bank robbery. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean, Cynthia Gibb and Jack Weston, with the voice of Tim Blaney.

Labyrinth (1986) 5STAR 1:40pm-3:40pm
A teenager wishes her baby brother would be taken away, only to have her request granted by a band of goblins and their sinister king. She regrets her decision and sets out to rescue him, but to reach the castle where he is being held, she must find her way through a magical maze full of strange creatures. Jim Henson’s fantasy adventure, starring Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie.

Labyrinth Merchandise

Bean (1997) ITV2 3:40pm-5:20pm
The hapless fool is employed as a security guard for a British art gallery and is sent to Los Angeles to bring back a famous painting. Unfortunately, he finds himself mistaken for a renowned art professor and invited to make an important presentation. Mel Smith’s British comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Burt Reynolds, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Peter Capaldi and June Brown.

Smokey and the Bandit II (1980) Sony Movie Channel 4:20pm-6:35pm
The maverick haulier must overcome a crisis of confidence when he and his friends are hired to transport a pregnant elephant to Texas, a mammoth task that proves far from easy, especially with their old enemy in hot pursuit. Road comedy, with Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Dom DeLuise and Sally Field.

SUNDAY 12th November

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Look Who’s Talking Now (1993) Sony Movie Channel 1:05pm-3:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A family takes in two pet dogs, a scruffy mongrel with discipline problems and a prim and proper pedigree poodle, whose personality clashes create all sorts of mayhem for the household. Comedy sequel, starring John Travolta and Kirstie Alley, plus the voices of Diane Keaton and Danny DeVito as the canine duo.

Men in Black (1997) Channel 4 4:45pm-6:30pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.

Big Daddy (1999) Sony Movie Channel 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
An immature 32-year-old is heartbroken when his girlfriend walks out on him. In a plan to win her back, he volunteers to look after his flatmate’s five-year-old son, thus demonstrating he is finally ready to grow up. However, his ideas of childcare prove unconventional and chaos quickly ensues. Comedy, with Adam Sandler, Joey Lauren Adams, Jon Stewart, Josh Mostel, Leslie Mann, Rob Schneider and Kristy Swanson, alongside Steve Buscemi in a cameo role.

Quantum of Solace (2008) ITV2 8:00pm-10:15pm
James Bond sets out on a personal mission of vengeance as he pursues the secret criminal organisation Quantum. His search leads him to the head of an ecological corporation, who is plotting to orchestrate a coup in a Latin American country to get his hands on a precious natural resource. Spy thriller sequel, starring Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko, Judi Dench, Gemma Arterton and Mathieu Amalric.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep it cheesy.

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Splish, splash… another retro movie weekend is here! Let’s stir up some super sweet retro movie goodness.

Clicking on the kettle like shaking hands with an old and trusted friend, we’ll begin to gather all the essential bits and bobs from all the various locations. Selecting the perfect mug from the bunch, we’ll pluck out our next tea baggy victim, throw in just the right amount of sugar and then begin to fill our mug to the perfect level. Watching the clear liquid quickly turn into a familiar shade of brown with a stir with the spoon, we’ll begin to dream of the tea creation we are so close to complete before we can sit back and enjoy the weekends retro movie wonder.

SATURDAY 23rd September

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Look Who’s Talking Too (1990) Sony Movie Channel 9:00am-10:35am (1 hour 35 minutes)
Wisecracking toddler Mikey is joined by mischievous baby sister Julie and sibling rivalry inevitably erupts – while their parents have problems of their own to deal with, in the shape of the kids’ good-for-nothing uncle. Comedy sequel, starring John Travolta and Kirstie Alley, with the voices of Bruce Willis and Rosanne Barr.

The Rugrats Movie (1999) Film4 11:00am-12:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Tommy tries to return his new brother to the baby shop, helped by Angelica, Chuckie, Phil and Lil – but the friends get lost in dense woodlands en route, turning their expedition into a scary and exciting journey of discovery. Animated comedy based on the TV series, with the voices of Elizabeth Daily, Christine Cavanaugh, Kath Soucie, Whoopi Goldberg and Busta Rhymes.

Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 2:20pm-4:25pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Roald Dahl Merchandise

Babe (1995) ITV2 3:30pm-5:10pm
A kindly farmer wins a cute piglet, which some greedy humans and jealous animals hope will end up as the Christmas roast. Undaunted, the young pig proves himself useful on the farm and enlists the aid of the resident dog in learning how to herd sheep. Family comedy, starring James Cromwell and Magda Szubanski, with Christine Cavanaugh, Miriam Margolyes and Hugo Weaving among those providing the voices of the animal characters.

Jumanji (1995) Sony Movie Channel 4:25pm-6:35pm
A man who has been trapped inside a mysterious jungle board game for 26 years is eventually freed when two children start to play it. Unfortunately, he arrives with a rampaging horde of animals on his heels, leaving only one solution – to finish the game he started all those years ago. Fantasy adventure, starring Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst and Bonnie Hunt.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) ITV4 4:35pm-6:45pm
A cocky teenager plays truant from school and spends the day dragging his girlfriend and a reluctant friend into all manner of crazy adventures in the big city – while the school’s dean of students vows to stop at nothing to prove the youngster is faking illness. Comedy, starring Matthew Broderick, Mia Sara, Alan Ruck, Jennifer Grey, Jeffrey Jones and Charlie Sheen.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Clothing

Airplane II: The Sequel (1982) Film4 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Hapless hero Ted Striker tries to prevent the launch of a passenger space shuttle, certain it will end in disaster. Sadly, his prediction comes true when a computer malfunction sends the spacecraft hurtling toward the sun, while a man driven mad by sexual inadequacy smuggles a bomb on board. Disaster movie spoof sequel, starring Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, Lloyd Bridges, William Shatner, Sonny Bono and Chad Everett.

Airplane! TShirts

Speed (1994) Film4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An LAPD cop discovers a psychopathic criminal has planted a bomb on a crowded bus, primed to go off if the vehicle drops below 50mph. He boards the vehicle and helps the hapless passenger who has been forced to take the wheel to keep a constant speed to avoid a disaster. Action thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Dennis Hopper and Jeff Daniels.

There’s Something About Mary (1998) 5STAR 9:00pm-11:25pm
A lovelorn man hires a sleazy private eye to track down his high-school sweetheart in the hope of rekindling their brief relationship. By unfortunate coincidence, the detective also falls for her, and then it emerges there are even more men out there competing for her affections. Comedy from the Farrelly brothers, starring Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon and Lee Evans.

SUNDAY 24th September

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Hulk
(2003) Channel 4 1:30pm-4:10pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
Scientist Dr Bruce Banner turns into the rampaging green Hulk after exposure to a huge dose of gamma radiation, prompting the military to embark on a no-holds-barred mission to destroy the monster. Meanwhile, Banner’s unstable father resurfaces, holding the secret to his transformation. Comic-book adventure from director Ang Lee, starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott and Nick Nolte.

Superhero Gifts

The Four Musketeers (1974) Film4 3:00pm-5:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The swashbuckling heroes, with young swordsman D’Artagnan promoted to their ranks, are sent to quell an uprising against the king. But the scheming Cardinal Richelieu continues plotting to seize power, while his treacherous partner-in-crime Milady de Winter has revenge in mind. Adventure sequel, starring Oliver Reed, Michael York, Charlton Heston, Faye Dunaway, Christopher Lee, Richard Chamberlain and Frank Finlay.

The Dam Busters (1954) ITV4 3:15pm-5:55pm
The story of the destruction of the major dams in Germany’s industrial heartland in the Ruhr valley in 1943, a mission that seemed impossible until engineer and scientist Barnes Wallis came up with the ingenious idea of bouncing bombs, and the pilots of 617 Squadron were trained to fly the crucial mission. Second World War drama, with Michael Redgrave, Richard Todd, Basil Sydney, Derek Farr and Ursula Jeans.

Fun Fact: The bombs shown in the movie were the wrong shape because the actual shape (a stubby cylinder) was still secret at the time.

Volcano (1997) E4 8:00pm-10:00pm (2 hours)
A river of molten lava spews from an erupting volcano onto the streets of Los Angeles, prompting the head of a crisis agency to team up with an intrepid scientist in a frantic and dangerous bid to save the city’s residents. Disaster thriller, starring Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, Gaby Hoffmann, Keith David and Don Cheadle.

The Rainmaker (1997) Sony Movie Channel 10:00pm-11:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
An idealistic newly qualified lawyer teams up with a disreputable researcher to champion the cause of a leukaemia sufferer whose mother is suing an insurance company for refusing to pay his medical costs. As the case progresses, the young legal eagle finds he has much to learn about the dark side of the judicial process. Francis Ford Coppola’s courtroom drama adapted from the novel by John Grisham, starring Matt Damon, Danny DeVito, Jon Voight, Claire Danes and Mickey Rourke.

Boyz N the Hood (1991) BBC2 11:15pm-1:00am
A bright but underachieving teenager with a domineering single father strikes up a friendship with two brothers, and over time, the three young men each follow their own path – but a tragedy eventually leaves them facing a dangerous choice. Drama, starring Cuba Gooding Jr, Laurence Fishburne, Morris Chestnut and Ice Cube.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget to recycle and always keep your socks dry.

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Well mask my wall and slap me with a brush! Another retro movie weekend is upon us!

Taking on more ‘little’ jobs than you could even imagine, the beginner DIYer is frantically at work trying to create a domestic masterpiece. Filling here, sanding there, our lone warrior is smashing their way through each room like a person possessed. Measuring twice and cutting once, the great wardrobes of glory will slowly rise to become a things of beauty. Fit for a king and queen, their new abode will make the history books and will sure to see them living in comfort for years to come.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 19th August

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Jumanji
(1995) Sony Movie Channel 1:00pm-3:10pm
A man who has been trapped inside a mysterious jungle board game for 26 years is eventually freed when two children start to play it. Unfortunately, he arrives with a rampaging horde of animals on his heels, leaving only one solution – to finish the game he started all those years ago. Fantasy adventure, starring Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst and Bonnie Hunt.

Labyrinth (1986) 5STAR 5:10pm-7:10pm
A teenager wishes her baby brother would be taken away, only to have her request granted by a band of goblins and their sinister king. She regrets her decision and sets out to rescue him, but to reach the castle where he is being held, she must find her way through a magical maze full of strange creatures. Jim Henson’s fantasy adventure, starring Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie.

Labyrinth Merchandise

Toy Story (1995) BBC1 5:15pm-6:30pm
A jealous string-pulled cowboy doll’s status as his owner’s favourite plaything is threatened by the arrival of a charismatic hi-tech astronaut figure, who refuses to believe he is simply a toy. However, the rivals are forced to work together when they are left stranded in the outside world. Pixar animated adventure, featuring the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Don Rickles and Jim Varney.

Toy Story Gifts

The World Is Not Enough (1999) ITV 10:50pm-1:10am (2 hours 20 minutes)
James Bond is assigned to protect the heiress of an oil dynasty after her father is killed in a bombing at MI6 headquarters. The attack is the work of an infamous terrorist who is unable to feel pain after surviving a gunshot to his head, and who now intends to destroy the world’s supply of oil. Spy adventure, starring Pierce Brosnan, Robert Carlyle, Sophie Marceau and Robbie Coltrane.

Blade (1998) ITV4 11:05pm-1:25am
A half-vampire possesses all the strengths inherent in bloodsuckers with none of their weaknesses, and is determined to wipe the monsters from the face of the Earth. However, he faces a deadly new threat in a renegade vampire who is close to decoding an ancient prophecy that will allow him to repopulate the world with his kind. Action thriller, starring Wesley Snipes, Stephen Dorff and Kris Kristofferson.

SUNDAY 20th August

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Muppets from Space
(1999) Sony Movie Channel 10:45am-12:35pm
Gonzo hits the road with pal Rizzo in tow and goes in search of his roots – only to make the amazing discovery that his parents belonged to a race of aliens. He then has to choose whether to board a UFO and return to his family, or stay with the friends he knows and loves. Family comedy, with F Murray Abraham, David Arquette, Ray Liotta, Andie MacDowell and Rob Schneider alongside the puppets

Antz (1998) Film4 1:00pm-2:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A neurotic worker ant passes himself off as a soldier to impress a princess. However, he provokes a jealously ambitious general with an accidental act of heroism – so he and his beloved decide to flee the brutal colony and go in search of the promised land of Insectopia. Animated comedy, with the voices of Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman and Sylvester Stallone.

Licence to Kill (1989) ITV 3:25pm-6:00pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
James Bond plans revenge on a drug baron who maimed his friend. However, when the British government refuses to take official action, 007 finds himself stripped of his licence to kill and forced to go it alone without the backing of MI6. Spy thriller, starring Timothy Dalton, Robert Davi, Carey Lowell, Talisa Soto and Benicio Del Toro.

James Bond Gifts

Hocus Pocus (1993) Film4 7:05pm-9:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A teenager in Salem, Massachusetts, breaks into a spooky house on Halloween and accidentally resurrects three witches who have been dead for 300 years. The sorceresses are soon causing chaos while seeking a suitable sacrifice for a ritual to give them eternal youth. However, an old foe – a boy they turned into a cat – is on hand to help stop their mischief. Supernatural Disney comedy, with Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy and Omri Katz.

Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 6:55pm-9:00pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Matilda Clothing

Midnight Run (1988) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:40pm
When accountant Jonathan Mardukas skips bail after having been arrested for embezzlement, bounty hunter Jack Walsh is hired to catch the fraudster and return him from New York to Los Angeles. Unfortunately, his task is hindered by the ingenuity of Mardukas and the attentions of pursuing FBI agents and Mafia hitmen. Comedy thriller, starring Robert De Niro, Charles Grodin, Yaphet Kotto, Dennis Farina, John Ashton and Joe Pantoliano.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, check the traffic first and remember to take a drink with you.

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Cor blimey governor! Another retro movie weekend so soon? We’d better hop to it!

Shouting it out loud and proud like an old timey Victorian street trader, we’ll dig out, wash off and proudly display our fresh batch of retro movie goodies. Roll up, roll up… classic movies for all! Shouting louder than our market competition, we’ll put only the best ones at the front and make sure they shine bright to any passers by.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 29th July

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Death Becomes Her (1992) ITV3 9:30am-11:30am
Two romantic rivals are both granted the secret of eternal youth by a mysterious mystic. However, as they battle to get their claws into a plastic surgeon, they discover their now-immortal bodies are capable of taking whatever damage they can dish out. Black comedy fantasy, starring Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis and Isabella Rossellini.

Getting Even with Dad (1994) 5STAR 11:05am-1:15pm
Spoilt child Timmy goes to live with his outwardly respectable father, but realises he is a small-time thief planning his latest robbery. Timmy sets out to reform his dad, and in the meantime manages to fix him up with an attractive undercover cop – leading to much confusion. Family comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Ted Danson, Glenne Headly and Hector Elizondo.

The Rainmaker (1997) Sony Movie Channel 6:15pm-9:00pm
An idealistic newly qualified lawyer teams up with a disreputable researcher to champion the cause of a leukaemia sufferer whose mother is suing an insurance company for refusing to pay his medical costs. As the case progresses, the young legal eagle finds he has much to learn about the dark side of the judicial process. Francis Ford Coppola’s courtroom drama adapted from the novel by John Grisham, starring Matt Damon, Danny DeVito, Jon Voight, Claire Danes and Mickey Rourke.

Fun Fact: The scene where Danny DeVito wakes up Matt Damon on the bench was filmed hurriedly, surprising Damon, who had actually fallen asleep after a scene.

Midnight Run (1988) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:40pm
When accountant Jonathan Mardukas skips bail after having been arrested for embezzlement, bounty hunter Jack Walsh is hired to catch the fraudster and return him from New York to Los Angeles. Unfortunately, his task is hindered by the ingenuity of Mardukas and the attentions of pursuing FBI agents and Mafia hitmen. Comedy thriller, starring Robert De Niro, Charles Grodin, Yaphet Kotto, Dennis Farina, John Ashton and Joe Pantoliano.

The Green Mile (1999) Film4 9:00pm-12:40am (3 hours 40 minutes)
A convicted child-killer of towering height and massive build is condemned to death row, but astonishes the guards with his good nature and miraculous healing powers. They believe the gentle giant is incapable of crime, and emotions run high as they realise there is no hope of overturning his death sentence. Supernatural drama, based on a novel by Stephen King, starring Tom Hanks, Michael Clarke Duncan, David Morse and Harry Dean Stanton.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999) Dave 10:00pm-11:35pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
The crusading grown-ups of the Colorado town lead America into war against Canada in a bid to eradicate bad language from TV. The four young heroes set out to bring peace to the world, but have to battle a fearsome alliance between Satan and Saddam Hussein. Animated musical comedy, with the voices of Trey Parker and Matt Stone, as well as George Clooney, Eric Idle and Isaac Hayes.

South Park TShirts

Fight Club (1999) 5STAR 11:45pm-2:35am
A disillusioned office worker grows weary of his humdrum existence, but after meeting the mysterious Tyler Durden he finds fulfilment in establishing a club where similarly frustrated men come to vent their anger in bouts of bare-knuckle fighting. Satirical drama, directed by David Fincher, starring Edward Norton, Brad Pitt, Helena Bonham Carter, Meat Loaf and Jared Leto.

SUNDAY 30th July

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Flight of the Navigator (1986) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978, and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) Channel 5 12:50pm-2:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An eccentric but brilliant former cop sets himself up to champion the underdog – as a private eye specialising in locating missing animals. The zany detective is called in to find a kidnapped dolphin – the mascot of an American football team – and uncovers a plot involving high-level police corruption. Comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Courteney Cox, Sean Young, Tone Loc and Noble Willingham.

The Waterboy (1998) ITV2 1:30pm-3:20pm
An American football team’s waterboy puts up with constant ridicule from the players. But one day his anger gets the better of him and he demonstrates an unexpected talent for tackling – so the coach gives him a chance to prove his worth on the pitch. However, he has to keep his blossoming sporting career a secret from his overprotective mother. Comedy, with Adam Sandler, Kathy Bates, Henry Winkler and Fairuza Balk.

The Return of the Musketeers (1989) Film4 4:45pm-6:55pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
D’Artagnan reunites his former companions to save the queen of France from the scheming Cardinal Mazarin, and embark on a mission to England to prevent the beheading of Charles I. Meanwhile, the daughter of a former vanquished enemy is seeking revenge on the four heroes. Swashbuckling adventure sequel, with Oliver Reed, Michael York, Frank Finlay, Richard Chamberlain, Kim Cattrall and Roy Kinnear.

Blues Brothers 2000 (1998) Sony Movie Channel 6:20pm-9:00pm
Ex-convict Elwood Blues sets about re-forming his band to raise funds for a children’s hospital. But no sooner has he found a suitable lead singer to replace his late brother Jake, than the band end up being pursued by the police, the Russian mafia and his own embittered stepbrother. Comedy sequel, starring Dan Aykroyd, John Goodman and Joe Morton.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) Spike 6:20pm-8:30pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Two notorious outlaws’ routine of bank and train robberies is cut short when a seemingly unstoppable posse is formed to catch them. The pair plan to flee America and start a new life in Bolivia, with the Sundance Kid’s schoolmistress lover in tow – but staying ahead of the law is not so easy. Western, starring Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Katharine Ross.

Home Alone (1990) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

Home Alone TShirts

Dirty Dancing (1987) Channel 5 8:00pm-10:05pm
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007) ITV 8:00pm-10:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
The young wizard struggles to convince his fellow sorcerers that the evil Lord Voldemort has returned to life. When Hogwarts headmaster Dumbledore is ousted in favour of a sadistic replacement, Harry realises he must take matters into his own hands, uniting his fellow pupils to form a secret army and training them for the inevitable confrontation to come. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Gary Oldman, Michael Gambon and Alan Rickman.

Harry Potter Merchandise

The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988) ITV4 9:00pm-10:50pm
While investigating the shooting of a colleague, disaster-prone police lieutenant Frank Drebin uncovers a plot to assassinate Queen Elizabeth II during her visit to Los Angeles. However, after he is sacked from the force by the mayor, the cop has to operate beneath the radar to get to the bottom of the conspiracy. Comedy, with Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley and Ricardo Montalban.

The Peacemaker (1997) BBC1 11:20pm-1:15am
A military intelligence officer and a government expert on nuclear weapons team up to find the terrorists who have stolen ten atomic bombs from a train. The duo are initially reluctant to co-operate, but a grudging respect gradually develops after they are forced to work together. Action thriller, starring George Clooney, Nicole Kidman, Marcel lures and Armin Mueller-Stahl.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always read the instructions and keep a spare pair handy.

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Flurry and slush! Another retro movie weekend is before us and boy is it a beauty!

Waking up bright and early like the many days before, we slowly ease ourselves into the day with a hot cuppa and a cold milky bowl of something sweet. Stretching out the front door into the bitter cold and blistery winds, we are greeted with what we would describe as the worlds most iced up windscreen ever. Chipping and scraping away at the stubborn cold layer of doom, we’ll begin to see our efforts pay off and just in time before all feeling from our hands is lost.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 14th JANUARY

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The Mummy Returns
(2001) ITV 1:40pm-4:05pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Married explorers Rick and Evelyn battle the newly resurrected mummy Imhotep and his ruthless partner, who have captured their son. The undead creature is heading for a confrontation with a legendary ancient warrior – with power over a magical army to be won. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr and Patricia Velasquez, with a brief appearance by Dwayne Johnson.

The Borrowers (1997) 5STAR 3:10pm-5:00pm
A family of four-inch-high people living beneath the floorboards of an ordinary human home help the owner’s son fight back when a dastardly lawyer plans to demolish the house and make way for a luxury apartment block. Children’s fantasy, starring John Goodman, Jim Broadbent, Celia Imrie, Flora Newbigin and Tom Felton.

Legend (1985) Film4 7:00pm-8:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A peasant boy, who has a special bond with animals and fairies, shows his sweetheart the last surviving unicorns. Unfortunately, a monstrous demon and his goblin henchmen despise the mythical creatures and trick the girl into harming one of them, forcing Jack to act quickly to save her immortal soul. Ridley Scott’s fantasy adventure, starring Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry and David Bennent.

The Client (1994) ITV4 9:15pm-11:40pm
A Mafia lawyer tells a boy where a politician’s body is buried shortly before committing suicide, prompting a team of district attorneys to press the young witness for information. However, the streetwise kid refuses to give evidence unless his own and his family’s safety is guaranteed, and hires a lawyer to ensure his demands are met. Courtroom thriller based on the novel by John Grisham, with Susan Sarandon, Tommy Lee Jones and Brad Renfro.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) ITV 10:45pm-1:15am (2 hours 30 minutes)
A reprogrammed killing machine is sent back in time to the 20th century to protect John Connor, a teenage boy whose destiny is to save the human race. After breaking John’s mother out of a mental institution, the pair set out to avert a future nuclear war – pursued by an advanced prototype terminator with shape-changing powers. Sci-fi action adventure sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong and Robert Patrick.

SUNDAY 15th JANUARY

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One Fine Day
(1996) Film4 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The working day for two mismatched single professionals is thrown into turmoil when their children have to stay at home after missing a school trip. The pair agree to take it in turns to babysit while struggling to stick to their hectic schedules – but during the course of the day their feelings for each other blossom unexpectedly. Romantic comedy, starring George Clooney, Michelle Pfeiffer, Charles Durning and Mae Whitman.

Space Jam (1996) ITV2 3:00pm-4:45pm
Aliens arrive on Earth to abduct the Looney Tunes gang as a new attraction at their failing intergalactic theme park. To keep their freedom, Bugs Bunny and friends challenge the invaders to a high-stakes basketball game, calling on Michael Jordan to save the day and send the extraterrestrials back where they came from. Live action and animated comedy, starring Bill Murray and Danny DeVito, with the voices of Billy West and Bill Farmer.

You’ve Got Mail (1998) Channel 5 4:45pm-7:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Two rivals in the bookshop business fall in love over the internet, unaware they know and dislike each other in the real world. While things remain frosty in person, the pair’s anonymous online relationship continues to blossom. Romantic comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey and Dabney Coleman.

Flight of the Navigator (1986) Film4 4:50pm-6:35pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978, and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens.

Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987) ITV4 8:15pm-10:00pm
Commandant Lassard comes to the conclusion that his staff are overworked, so in an attempt to solve the problem, he assigns the clueless cops to teach a group of equally inept civilians how to combat crime. Comedy sequel, with Steve Guttenberg, Sharon Stone, Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow and David Graf.

The English Patient (1996) ITV3 10:30pm-1:40am
The enigmatic, badly burned survivor of a Second World War plane crash is tended by a French-Canadian nurse in a derelict Italian monastery. He tells her the story of his passionate love affair with a married Englishwoman. Anthony Minghella’s Oscar-winning romantic drama, based on the novel by Michael Ondaatje, starring Ralph Fiennes, Kristin Scott Thomas, Juliette Binoche, Willem Dafoe, Naveen Andrews, Colin Firth and Kevin Whately.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep warm, keep safe and keep having fun!

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Steam in my snorkel! It’s only another weekend and time for another classic Retro Movie Rundown. Oh how we spoil you!

Like a keen and adventurous swimmer, we find ourselves suiting up for another dip into the cold and unforgiving Atlantic ocean. We’ll paddle out before scouting out the coastline for what mysterious creatures and plant life may lurk in the depths. Will there be crabs? Will there be fish? Only time, patience and some very cold hands will tell.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 16th April

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Clueless
(1995) Film4 1:00pm-3:00pm (2 hours)
A rich high-school student uses all her charm and financial clout to boost an awkward new pupil’s image, but soon finds she has created a monster – while her own popularity suffers in the process. Comedy inspired by Jane Austen’s Emma, starring Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy and Paul Rudd.

Clueless TShirt

Superman (1978) ITV 1:30pm-4:25pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman Merchandise

Small Soldiers (1998) ITV2 3:30pm-4:35pm (1 hour 5 minutes)
3:30pm-4:35pm (1 hoA hi-tech computer chip has a bizarre effect on a squad of toy soldiers, causing mayhem for their owner as the miniature marauders engage in a series of scaled-down skirmishes. Children’s adventure mixing live action and computer animation, starring Kirsten Dunst, Denis Leary and Gregory Smith, with the voices of Tommy Lee Jones, Frank Langella, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci.

Goldfinger (1964) ITV4 4:00pm-5:05pm (1 hour 5 minutes)
James Bond is assigned to investigate a notorious German gold smuggler and discovers his quarry has ambitions much greater than first suspected. Pursuing the criminal mastermind around the world, Bond uncovers the villain’s audacious scheme to destroy the global economy with a daring attack on Fort Knox. Spy adventure, starring Sean Connery, Gert Frobe and Honor Blackman.

Fun Fact: The movie was the fastest grossing picture in film history when it was released and was entered into the Guiness Book of World Records.

Labyrinth (1986) 5STAR 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours)
A teenager wishes her baby brother would be taken away, only to have her request granted by a band of goblins and their sinister king. She regrets her decision and sets out to rescue him, but to reach the castle where he is being held, she must find her way through a magical maze full of strange creatures. Jim Henson’s fantasy adventure, starring Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie.

Labyrinth TShirt

Dirty Dancing (1987) 5STAR 6:00pm-8:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 7:30pm-8:30pm (1 hour)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

Die Hard 2 (1990) Channel 4 9:15pm-11:40pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife, but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

2 Fast 2 Furious (2003) ITV 10:20pm-12:15am (1 hour 55 minutes)
A disgraced former cop is arrested by the FBI for illegal street racing, but his one-time colleagues offer him freedom in exchange for going on an undercover mission. Teaming up with an old racing friend and a customs official, he has to infiltrate and bring down a drug-trafficking operation. Thriller sequel, with Paul Walker reprising his role from The Fast and the Furious alongside Tyrese Gibson, Eva Mendes and Cole Hauser.

Kevin and Perry Go Large (2000) Comedy Central 10:00pm-11:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The teenage duo are thrilled when their parents agree to let them go to Ibiza, and promptly embark on an increasingly desperate quest to find stardom as club DJs and lose their virginity on the sun-kissed shores – but seem certain to fail. Comedy, starring Harry Enfield, Kathy Burke, Rhys Ifans, James Fleet and Paul Whitehouse.

SUNDAY 17th April

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Escape from the Planet of the Apes
(1971) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
Intelligent chimpanzees Cornelius and Zira escape the destruction of their planet by travelling back in time to 1970s America. Although initially treated as celebrities, the government comes to regard the pair as a threat to the human race when it transpires that Zira is pregnant. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Sal Mineo and Ricardo Montalban.

Brewster’s Millions (1985) Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A baseball player is stunned to learn he has come into a massive inheritance. Unfortunately, there is one condition – he must somehow find a way to spend $30million in just one month, or he will lose the lot. Meanwhile, two scheming lawyers, who stand to get the money if he fails, are determined to sabotage his efforts. Comedy, starring Richard Pryor, John Candy, Lonette McKee and Jerry Orbach.

Black Beauty (1994) ITV3 1:10pm-2:10pm (1 hour)
A stallion recalls the events of his life and a succession of good and bad owners. His carefree youth on a country estate is brought to an end by a stable fire, and he ends up enduring a hard life pulling a hackney cab in Victorian London. Family drama based on Anna Sewell’s novel, starring Sean Bean, David Thewlis, Jim Carter and Eleanor Bron, with Alan Cumming providing the voice of the horse.

The Princess Bride (1987) Channel 5 1:15pm-3:15pm (2 hours)
A cynical youngster becomes entranced by his grandfather’s magical tales, which revolve around a stable-boy’s heroic quest to rescue his lost love from the clutches of an evil prince, with the aid of a vengeance-seeking Spanish swashbuckler and his hulking sidekick. Rob Reiner’s comic fantasy adventure, with Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, Mandy Patinkin, Peter Falk and Fred Savage.

Bend It Like Beckham (2002) Channel 5 3:15pm-5:30pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An English schoolgirl tries to hide her passion for football from her strict Indian parents, knowing they disapprove of her tomboyish love of the game. However, when a semi-professional player sees her in action, she is offered a place on a team, forcing her to come up with a complex plan to keep her sporting career under wraps. Comedy, with Parminder Nagra, Keira Knightley, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Juliet Stevenson and Shaznay Lewis.

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989) 5STAR 4:50pm-7:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The Starship Enterprise races to the rescue of intergalactic ambassadors held hostage on a distant planet. The crisis proves to be the handiwork of a renegade Vulcan mystic who kidnaps Captain Kirk and his crew, ordering them to fly to an unexplored world where he hopes to fulfil his insane ambition – to meet God. Sci-fi adventure, written, directed by and starring William Shatner, with Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley and David Warner.

Star Trek TShirts

Hercules (1997) Channel 5 5:30pm-7:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The son of Zeus, king of the Greek gods, is sent to Earth to be raised as a human. When he learns of his immortal heritage, he discovers he can only reclaim his position among the gods by becoming a true hero, so he embarks on a series of adventures and battles fearsome monsters to prove his worth. Disney animated adventure, with the voices of Tate Donovan, Danny DeVito, James Woods and Rip Torn.

Legend (1985) Film4 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A peasant boy, who has a special bond with animals and fairies, shows his sweetheart the last surviving unicorns. Unfortunately, a monstrous demon and his goblin henchmen despise the mythical creatures and trick the girl into harming one of them, forcing Jack to act quickly to save her immortal soul. Ridley Scott’s fantasy adventure, starring Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry and David Bennent.

Fun Fact: This film is widely rumoured to have been a source of inspiration for Shigeru Miyamoto’s classic game series The Legend of Zelda.

Clear and Present Danger (1994) More4 9:00pm-11:50pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
A CIA analyst gets caught up in the Colombian drug trade while trying to track down terrorists responsible for the murder of a close friend of the US president – but his investigations point to illegal activity and corruption at the very top of government. Action thriller, based on Tom Clancy’s novel, with Harrison Ford reprising his role from Patriot Games alongside Willem Dafoe, Anne Archer and James Earl Jones.

Ransom (1996) ITV4 10:10pm-11:25pm (1 hour 15 minutes)
An airline tycoon is wary of involving the police when his nine-year-old son is abducted, but co-operates with their plan to make a ransom drop. However, when the trade-off goes badly wrong, he decides to take matters into his own hands by placing a $2million bounty on the kidnappers’ heads, to the consternation of the cops and his anxious wife. Thriller remake, starring Mel Gibson, Rene Russo, Gary Sinise, Delroy Lindo and Liev Schreiber.

Mars Attacks! (1996) Channel 5 11:05pm-1:05am (2 hours)
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep warm, keep dry and keep having fun!
xoxo

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