Despicable Me

Great Gatsby! Another retro movie filled weekend is here folks. Time for adventure, mystery and of course a full helping of action. Let’s go!

Climbing the steep, cold and grainy steps up towards the top board, we find our excitement and nerves increasing evermore with each step. Reaching the heights of the wide, long and solid top board, we slowly make our way to the edge before peeping over to see the blue depths that lurk below. Taking a deep breath, we’ll leap into the air seemly weightless for a moment, before gravity kicks in and launches us into the cold blue depths.

SATURDAY 18th MARCH

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Hook
(1991) Sony Movie Channel 10:50am-2:00pm (3 hours 10 minutes)
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

The Addams Family (1991) Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Creepy couple Morticia and Gomez find their unconventional life threatened by a man claiming to be a long-lost relative. When they welcome him with open arms, they fall prey to a plot that could cost them their ancestral home and the family fortune. Black comedy based on the 1960s TV series, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman and Carel Struycken.

First Knight (1995) Sony Movie Channel 2:00pm-4:50pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
A wandering swordsman is knighted for his fighting prowess at the court of King Arthur and his wife, Lady Guinevere. However, the new knight and the queen develop a dangerous and secret attraction for each other, while a neighbouring warlord threatens the downfall of the kingdom. Adventure, starring Richard Gere, Sean Connery, Julia Ormond and Ben Cross.

Fun Fact: Mel Gibson was attached to this project at one stage, but chose to direct and star in Braveheart (1995) instead.

Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 6:15pm-8:00pm
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

Mr Bean Clothing

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) ITV4 9:00pm–11:45pm
A reprogrammed killing machine is sent back in time to the 20th century to protect John Connor, a teenage boy whose destiny is to save the human race. After breaking John’s mother out of a mental institution, the pair set out to avert a future nuclear war – pursued by an advanced prototype terminator with shape-changing powers. Sci-fi action adventure sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong and Robert Patrick.

Rambo III (1988) ITV 11:35pm-1:25am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Scary Movie 2 (2001) Film4 11:05pm-12:40am (1 hour 35 minutes)
Teenage survivors of an encounter with a ghost-faced killer end up in college and try to forget the trauma of earlier events – but fate takes a hand when an eccentric college professor bribes them to stay in a haunted house in return for A-grades. Spoof horror sequel, starring Marlon and Shawn Wayans, Anna Faris and Tim Curry.

SUNDAY 19th MARCH

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Vice Versa
(1988) Film4 1:00pm-2:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A department store executive returns from a trip to Thailand in possession of a mysterious artefact that causes him to change places with his 11-year-old son. While the horrified father struggles to cope with a world of teachers and school bullies, the youngster is revelling in the perks of being a grown-up. Fantasy comedy, starring Judge Reinhold, Fred Savage, Swoosie Kurtz and Corinne Bohrer.

Fun Fact: This is actually the seventh film or television adaptation of F. Anstey’s “Vice Versa (1882)

Batteries Not Included (1987) Channel 5 1:05pm-3:05pm (2 hours)
A family of tiny alien spacecraft intervenes to help the residents of a run-down Manhattan brownstone tenement stop greedy developers from demolishing their homes. However, the miniature flying saucers have the odds stacked against them as they bravely do all they can to save the day. Sci-fi fantasy, starring Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Frank McRae and Elizabeth Pena.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 3:55pm-5:00pm
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minion Merchandise

Addams Family Values (1993) E4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
Spooky couple Gomez and Morticia hire a nanny to look after their new baby son – and stop him suffering an early death at the hands of his jealous elder siblings. Romance soon blossoms between the new childminder and Uncle Fester, but he does not realise she is planning to kill him once she has got hold of the family fortune. Comedy sequel, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci and Joan Cusack.

Fun Fact: Oddly, Carol Kane, who plays Grandmama, is almost a year younger than Anjelica Huston, who plays her daughter, Morticia Addams.

RoboCop 3 (1993) ITV4 9:05pm-11:15pm
A giant Japanese corporation’s plan to turn Detroit into an anaesthetised metropolis prompts the gun-toting cyborg hero to help a band of rebels fight against the forces of tyranny. Sci-fi thriller sequel, starring Robert Burke, Nancy Allen, Rip Torn, John Castle and Jill Hennessy.

Die Hard 2 (1990) E4 10:00pm-12:25am (2 hours 25 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife, but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

Good Will Hunting (1997) ITV3 11:05pm-1:35am
A troubled maths genius refuses to use his gift, preferring to work as a janitor and lead a normal life with his friends. Eventually, a university professor persuades him to see a psychologist, who befriends him and proves the only person able to help him come to terms with his talent and past traumas. Drama, written by and starring Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, who won Oscars for their screenplay. With Robin Williams, Minnie Driver and Stellan Skarsgard.

Firefox (1982) ITV4 11:15pm-2:00am
A former US Air Force pilot comes out of retirement for a top-secret mission – to go undercover behind the Iron Curtain and steal a hi-tech Soviet fighter plane that is invisible to radar and equipped with a thought-controlled weapons system. Cold War action adventure, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood. With Freddie Jones, David Huffman and Warren Clarke.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always show your working and don’t forget to clean out the fridge.

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Cheese and crackers! Another retro movie weekend is here and… well… let’s dive in!

Saddling up and gripping the bars, we’re setting off into the forest with our trusty bike for some adventure and adrenaline. Setting off down a local trail, we’ll masterfully jump, duck and weave our way through the wilderness as we let gravity pull us ever closer to our final destination. Hitting our final turn like a surfer turning on a wave, we’ll rejoice in our success, pause for a moment then think… let’s do that again!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 18th FEBRUARY

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The Muppets Take Manhattan (1984) Sony Movie Channel 9:00am-11:10am (2 hours 10 minutes)
Kermit, Miss Piggy, Fozzie Bear and company try to take Broadway by storm with their college show, setting the stage for a host of misadventures as they yearn for stardom in the Big Apple and set out to raise the money to finance their production. Comedy, performed by Jim Henson and Frank Oz, with appearances by Liza Minnelli, Art Carney, Dabney Coleman, Gregory Hines, Joan Rivers, Brooke Shields, Linda Lavin and Elliott Gould.

The Muppets Merchandise

Scrooged (1988) Film4 2:45pm-4:50pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A heartless TV executive is cruel to his employees and just sees the festive season as an opportunity to make money. However, on Christmas Eve, three ghosts arrive in the night and challenge him to change his cynical ways by showing him his past, present and future. Comedy based on Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, starring Bill Murray, Karen Allen, John Forsythe, David Johansen and Carol Kane.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV 5:10pm-7:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Despicable Me Merchandise

Tootsie (1982) Film4 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A New York actor’s difficult reputation has rendered him unemployable. When a TV soap advertises a new female role, he disguises himself as a woman for the audition – and wins the part. But the character proves so popular, he is forced to keep up the pretence indefinitely. Comedy, starring Dustin Hoffman, Jessica Lange and Bill Murray. Directed by Sydney Pollack, who makes a cameo appearance as Hoffman’s agent.

Passenger 57 (1992) Dave 9:00pm-10:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
After his wife is shot dead during a robbery, a cop hands in his badge and takes up a job offer from an old friend to be a security adviser for a major transatlantic airline. On the flight taking him to his new employers in Los Angeles is an international terrorist being escorted to trial by the FBI – while the prisoner’s accomplices are disguised as passengers and crew and plan to hijack the plane. Action thriller, with Wesley Snipes, Bruce Payne, Tom Sizemore, Alex Datcher, Bruce Greenwood and Elizabeth Hurley.

The Specialist (1994) ITV4 9:05pm-10:10pm (1 hour 5 minutes)
An explosives expert is reluctantly persuaded out of retirement by the charms of a vengeful woman bent on destroying the gang that murdered her parents. He carries out a series of assassinations, but finds himself caught in a deadly game of cat and mouse when one of his targets hires a former colleague to track him down. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Sharon Stone, James Woods, Rod Steiger and Eric Roberts.

SUNDAY 19th FEBRUARY

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Addams Family Values (1993) Channel 4 2:35pm-4:30pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Spooky couple Gomez and Morticia hire a nanny to look after their new baby son – and stop him suffering an early death at the hands of his jealous elder siblings. Romance soon blossoms between the new childminder and Uncle Fester, but he does not realise she is planning to kill him once she has got hold of the family fortune. Comedy sequel, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci and Joan Cusack.

Wednesday Addams Enamel Pin

National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983) Channel 5 4:35pm-6:25pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A bumbling all-American family man takes his wife and kids on a disaster-filled cross-country drive to California to visit famous theme park Walley World – but their chances of arriving at their destination in one piece are looking slim. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, Imogene Coca, Anthony Michael Hall, Christie Brinkley and John Candy.

National Lampoon’s European Vacation (1985) Channel 5 6:25pm-8:10pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The disaster-prone Griswolds appear on a TV game show, and through a happy accident, end up winning a holiday touring Europe. The trip takes them to Britain, France and Germany, causing mayhem wherever they go, while the final destination in Rome leads to a run-in with a gang of thieves. Comedy sequel, starring Chevy Chase and Beverly D’Angelo.

Men in Black II (2002) E4 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Agent J investigates the unauthorised landing of a spacecraft and discovers a malevolent alien disguised as a lingerie model is on the verge of destroying humanity. His only hope of stopping her diabolical plot is to restore the memory of his retired partner K – but his former mentor takes more than a little convincing. Sci-fi comedy sequel, directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Rosario Dawson, Lara Flynn Boyle, Johnny Knoxville, Rip Torn and Tony Shalhoub.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget to wipe your feet and remember that sometimes you’ve just got to go for it!

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In the words of Noddy Holder from Slade….it’s CHRIIIIIIISTMAAAAAAAAS! Well… almost.

With the shopping done (at last!), the family all organised and the tree nicely glistening in the corner, it seems Christmas is here again for another year. What joy! With nothing to do but eat, drink and be merry (what washing up?), we’ll spread our Christmas cheer for all to see as we welcome one and all to tuck into our festive feast. With a clinking of glass, a scraping or knife and the snap of a cracker, another year will float past into the night as we ready ourselves for another year ahead. Merry Christmas!

Have a happy retro weekend!

Christmas Eve

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Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory
(1971) ITV3 9:50am-11:55am
An eccentric confectionery king announces that five children will be given a tour of his wondrous factory. The winners turn out to be a kind-hearted boy from a penniless family and four obnoxious brats, who face a terrible fate when they misbehave. Musical fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s classic book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum and Roy Kinnear.

Roald Dahl Clothing

Miracle on 34th Street (1994) Film4 11:00am-1:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A woman raises her six-year-old daughter to believe that Santa Claus does not exist, but they both have a change of heart after meeting a department store Father Christmas who claims to be the man himself. When the kindly fellow is accused of being a charlatan, his new friends engage a lawyer to prove his true identity. Remake of the 1947 family drama, with Richard Attenborough, Elizabeth Perkins, Mara Wilson and Dylan McDermott.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV 11:20am-1:20pm (2 hours)
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minion Merchandise

A Christmas Carol (2009) BBC1 11:30am-1:00pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
A foul-tempered Victorian miser who hates the festive season is visited on Christmas Eve by a series of ghosts. The spirits intend to make him mend his wicked ways by showing him visions of the past, the present and what the future will hold for him if he does not change for the better. Animated fantasy based on Charles Dickens’ novel, featuring motion-captured performances by Jim Carrey and Gary Oldman.

Grumpy Cat’s Worst Christmas Ever (2014) 5STAR 1:00pm-2:50pm
A bad-tempered cat in a pet shop grows more and more cynical as customers refuse to buy her. Over the course of a busy Christmas shopping day, she befriends a cheerful 12-year-old girl and reluctantly rescues a dog whom she hates from kidnappers. Comedy, starring Megan Charpentier and Daniel Roebuck, with the voice of Aubrey Plaza.

Grumpy Cat Merchandise

Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone (2001) ITV 1:30pm-4:20pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
An orphaned boy endures a miserable childhood, until he discovers he has magical powers and enrols at a special school for young wizards. However, his suspicions are aroused by a sinister teacher who seems to be up to no good. Fantasy adventure, adapted from the first of JK Rowling’s books, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Robbie Coltrane, Alan Rickman and Richard Harris.

Harry Potter Merchandise

Scrooged (1988) Channel 4 2:45pm-4:40pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A heartless TV executive is cruel to his employees and just sees the festive season as an opportunity to make money. However, on Christmas Eve, three ghosts arrive in the night and challenge him to change his cynical ways by showing him his past, present and future. Comedy based on Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, starring Bill Murray, Karen Allen, John Forsythe, David Johansen and Carol Kane.

One Hundred and One Dalmatians (1961) ITV 4:20pm-6:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A fashion-mad woman longs to make a coat out of dalmatian skin, and resorts to kidnapping her friend’s litter of puppies, along with several other dogs. However, the captive pups’ devoted parents come to the rescue, aided by an assortment of other animals. Disney animated adventure based on Dodie Smith’s novel, with the voices of Betty Lou Gerson and Rod Taylor.

Disney Merchandise

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) Channel 4 5:50pm-7:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An embittered Victorian miser hates the festive season and people in general, but on Christmas Eve, the ghosts of his former business partners, the Marley brothers, visit him in the night. They warn him three spirits are coming to make him change his ways by showing him visions of the past, the present and what the future may hold. Comedy, with Michael Caine and Steven Mackintosh alongside the puppet characters.

The Muppets Merchandise

Christmas Day!

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Santa Claus: The Movie
(1985) 9:15am-11:30am
An impulsive elf walks out on Father Christmas during the hectic preparations for the festive season, and heads for New York determined to make a name for himself. However, he falls into the clutches of an evil toy manufacturer, who has a devilish money-making plan up his sleeve. Family fantasy adventure, starring Dudley Moore, John Lithgow, David Huddleston, Burgess Meredith and Judy Cornwell.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) ITV 11:55am-3:00pm
The young wizard and his friends return for their second term at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to discover a strange serpentine power is petrifying the other students. Meanwhile, Harry is haunted by a sinister voice in his head urging him to uncover the dark force that is stalking the corridors of the school. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Kenneth Branagh.

Harry Potter Gifts

Scrooge (1970) Channel 5 11:55am-2:10pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Hard-hearted Victorian miser Ebenezer Scrooge refuses to join in with the spirit of the festive season – until a succession of spectral visitors turn up to teach him the error of his ways. Musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic A Christmas Carol, starring Albert Finney, Alec Guinness, Kenneth More, Edith Evans and Paddy Stone.

The Wizard of Oz (1939) Channel 5 2:10pm-4:15pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Youngster Dorothy Gale is whisked over the rainbow by a tornado into the magical land of Oz, where she inadvertently kills a wicked witch – incurring the wrath of another. Setting out to find the wizard who can show her a way home, she is joined on her journey by a scarecrow, a tin man and a cowardly lion, who all hope their own wishes will be granted. Musical fantasy, with Judy Garland, Ray Bolger, Jack Haley, Bert Lahr and Frank Morgan.

The Lion King (1994) ITV 3:10pm-4:55pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A lion prince blames himself for his father’s death and flees into the wilderness, leaving his wicked uncle to take over. As the cub grows to adulthood, he receives a vision of the dead king, who inspires him to seek revenge and reclaim his rightful throne. Disney animated musical, featuring the voices of Matthew Broderick, Jeremy Irons, Rowan Atkinson, Whoopi Goldberg and James Earl Jones.

Lion King Merchandise

Home Alone (1990) Channel 4 6:00pm-8:00pm (2 hours)
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

Home Alone Merchandise

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) 6:10pm-8:00pm
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 7:15pm-9:00pm
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

Love Actually (2003) ITV 11:00pm-1:30am (2 hours 30 minutes)
Ten interlinked stories of people searching for and finding love. While the newly elected, bachelor British prime minister is smitten by a junior staff member at 10 Downing Street, a heartbroken writer heads for France to get over a failed relationship, and a faded rock star aims to reinvent himself in time for Christmas. Richard Curtis’s romantic comedy, with Hugh Grant, Martine McCutcheon, Emma Thompson, Alan Rickman, Colin Firth, Bill Nighy and Liam Neeson.

Whatever you’re up this this Christmas weekend, keep it festive, keep it jolly and don’t forget to check the microwave.

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Cast a spell and mix a potion! It’s a retro movie filled weekend allllll over again.

Like an old, experience and ever-wise wizard, we’ll throw on our battle torn cloak, grab our trusty wand and head out into the misty night. Walking almost silently through the cold air, we’ll glide our way to help those in need, casting spells and mixing potions to aid even the most obscure of situations with a flourish.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 8th OCTOBER

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Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) Dave 1:50pm-4:30pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
An English nobleman returns home from the crusades to find his father has been murdered and the local people are repressed by the tyrannical rule of the Sheriff of Nottingham. Branded an outlaw, he recruits a group of bandits to fight for justice and protect the downtrodden. Action adventure, starring Kevin Costner, Alan Rickman, Morgan Freeman and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio.

The Saint: The Fiction Makers (1968) London Live 3:55pm-6:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Roger Moore stars in this adventure as international thief Simon Templar, who is hired by a book publisher to protect one of his most valuable and reclusive female writers. However, the charming rogue’s new assignment leads to him and his charge being kidnapped by an evil organisation who have modelled themselves on characters from a novel, and want the plot of their next heist to be written. Sylvia Syms and Justine Lord also star.

The Flintstones (1994) ITV2 4:00pm-5:50pm
Blue-collar caveman Fred Flintstone is promoted to an executive position at work and unwittingly becomes embroiled in an embezzlement scheme – thanks in no small part to his seductive new assistant. Live-action version of the cartoon comedy, starring John Goodman, Rick Moranis, Rosie O’Donnell, Halle Berry and Elizabeth Taylor.

Vice Versa (1988) ITV4 5:25pm-7:20pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A department store executive returns from a trip to Thailand in possession of a mysterious artefact that causes him to change places with his 11-year-old son. While the horrified father struggles to cope with a world of teachers and school bullies, the youngster is revelling in the perks of being a grown-up. Fantasy comedy, starring Judge Reinhold, Fred Savage, Swoosie Kurtz and Corinne Bohrer.

Bill & Ted’s Bogus Journey (1991) ITV4 5:10pm-7:00pm
The would-be heavy metal superstars face the Grim Reaper as they try to reclaim their souls from Hell, return to the land of the living and stop their robot doppelgangers from changing history. Along the way, they must also master their instruments, so they can triumph at the Battle of the Bands. Comedy sequel, starring Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter, William Sadler, Joss Ackland and George Carlin.

The Mask (1994) ITV2 7:55pm-10:00pm
A timid bank clerk stumbles on an ancient mask, which endows whoever wears it with untold superhuman powers, unbridled self-confidence and an irresistible charm for the ladies. Unfortunately, he earns the enmity of a local gangster for daring to flirt with his girlfriend – and when the crook gets wind of the artefact’s existence, he covets the power for himself. Comic-book comedy, with Jim Carrey, Cameron Diaz, Peter Riegert and Peter Greene.

Cliffhanger (1993) ITV4 9:00pm-11:15pm
A retired mountain rescue expert is drawn into a battle of wits with a psychopathic criminal searching for a $100million fortune lost in the Rockies – and puts his life on the line as he negotiates the treacherous mountains in a bid to stay one step ahead of the crook. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, Janine Turner and Michael Rooker.

Pulp Fiction (1994) Spike 10:00pm-1:00am (3 hours)
A series of interlinked stories about the Los Angeles underworld. A hitman plays minder to his boss’s wife, and he and his partner deal with a dead body following a mishap with a gun. Meanwhile, a washed-up boxer goes on the run after refusing to throw a fight, and two lovers plot a hold-up in a diner. Quentin Tarantino’s crime drama, starring John Travolta, Samuel L Jackson, Uma Thurman, Bruce Willis, Ving Rhames, Tim Roth and Amanda Plummer.

Pulp Fiction Merchandise

Pulp Fiction T-Shirt Pulp Fiction Wallet

SUNDAY 9th OCTOBER

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Evolution (2001) Film4 2:35pm-4:35pm (2 hours)
Two science teachers investigate a mysterious meteor and discover it is oozing a strange fluid containing millions of minuscule but rapidly evolving organisms – which start to turn into terrifying alien monsters with a taste for human flesh. Sci-fi comedy, starring David Duchovny, Orlando Jones, Julianne Moore, Seann William Scott, Dan Aykroyd and Ted Levine.

Hercules (1997) Channel 5 2:50pm-4:35pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The son of Zeus, king of the Greek gods, is sent to Earth to be raised as a human. When he learns of his immortal heritage, he discovers he can only reclaim his position among the gods by becoming a true hero, so he embarks on a series of adventures and battles fearsome monsters to prove his worth. Disney animated adventure, with the voices of Tate Donovan, Danny DeVito, James Woods and Rip Torn.

The Deep End of the Ocean (1999) 5STAR 2:50pm-5:00pm
A couple grow frantic at the kidnapping of their three-year-old son. A decade later, they move to another town, only to find their lost child already living there, having been adopted by a kindly local man. They try to rebuild their relationship with the boy, who has no memories of his family. Drama based on Jacquelyn Mitchard’s novel, starring Michelle Pfeiffer, Treat Williams, Whoopi Goldberg and Jonathan Jackson.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 4:50pm-6:50pm
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Despicable Me Merchandise

Minion Mug

Iron Man 2 (2010) Film4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Tycoon-turned-superhero Tony Stark confronts a fearsome new foe in a Russian scientist using his own deadly hi-tech weapons to seek revenge. He also faces a struggle to keep his secrets out of the hands of both the government and an amoral rival, and discovers the armour he developed to fight evil is slowly killing him. Action adventure sequel, with Robert Downey Jr, Mickey Rourke and Don Cheadle.

Iron Man Gifts

Iron Man Cookie Jar

Die Hard (1988) Sony Channel 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
New York cop John McClane visits Los Angeles to see his family over the Christmas holiday. Stopping off at his wife’s place of work, he realises armed men have taken over the building and are holding the corporation’s staff to ransom – and only he has the ability to fight back. Action thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and Bonnie Bedelia.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep it cool, keep it safe and keep it fun!

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Sweet potato pie! Another retro movie weekend is before us and….well…what a treat it is!

So like a battle torn and sea life hardened Pirate, we find ourselves standing before a overflowing chest of treasure. Stacked high with gems, gold and silver, we’ll dream of all the amazing things that our plunder will bring us before safely stashing it in our super-secret hiding place. Will we ever return to get it back and will it still be there if we do? Time will tell.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 27th August

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Superman
(1978) ITV4 4:00pm-7:00pm
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman TShirts

Turner & Hooch (1989) E4 4:30pm-6:30pm (2 hours)
A Californian detective investigating the murder of a local man by drug smugglers has only one witness to help him solve the case – the large, smelly dog that belonged to the victim, which is about to turn the detective’s well-ordered existence into chaos. Family comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham and Craig T Nelson.

Coming to America (1988) Dave 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A bored African prince defies his father’s plans for an arranged marriage and escapes to the USA to find a bride on his own terms. Comedy, starring Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in several roles, with James Earl Jones, Allison Dean, Eriq La Salle and Madge Sinclair.

Rambo III (1988) Syfy 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Predator 2 (1990) Film4 11:20pm-1:30am (2 hours 10 minutes)
A Los Angeles cop, working to bring down the city’s drug gangs, suspects Jamaican criminals when he discovers several of his targets killed and skinned alive. However, the culprit behind the murders reveals himself to be an alien big-game hunter – with the stealth and guile to outwit the police and criminals alike. Sci-fi sequel, starring Danny Glover, Bill Paxton, Gary Busey and Maria Conchita Alonso.

Fun Fact: The film was re-cut over 20 times, according to director Stephen Hopkins, because of more graphic shots of mutilated bodies and decapitations by the Predator.

SUNDAY 28th August

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Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
(1989) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A professor invents a ray with the power to reduce objects in size. Unfortunately, his kids and their meddling friends activate it and are shrunk to microscopic proportions. When they are accidentally thrown out with the rubbish, the children have to contend with all kinds of animals and insects on their journey home across the backyard. Disney comedy, with Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman and Amy O’Neill.

Bean (1997) ITV2 4:55pm-6:45pm
The hapless fool is employed as a security guard for a British art gallery and is sent to Los Angeles to bring back a famous painting. Unfortunately, he finds himself mistaken for a renowned art professor and invited to make an important presentation. Mel Smith’s British comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Burt Reynolds, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Peter Capaldi and June Brow.

Mr Bean TShirt

Despicable Me (2010) ITV 4:55pm-6:35pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minions Merchandise

Star Trek: First Contact (1996) Syfy 4:50pm-7:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Captain Jean-Luc Picard and the crew of the Enterprise face their deadliest enemies, the Borg, who travel back in time in an attempt to change Earth’s history. The starship follows on a mission to foil their plan, but the vessel is taken over by members of the cyborg collective, leaving Picard consumed by a desire for revenge. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, James Cromwell and Alice Krige.

Star Trek Clothing

MONDAY 29th August

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Beethoven (1992) ITV 10:30am-12:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992) Channel 4 12:55pm-2:40pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A scientist perfects a device for making objects grow when they come into contact with electricity. Unfortunately, his two-year-old son is accidentally turned into a giant and goes on the rampage through the streets of Las Vegas. Disney comedy sequel, starring Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman, Robert Oliveri and Lloyd Bridges.

Joe Kidd (1972) 3:15pm-5:00pm Channel 5 (1 hour 45 minutes)
A bounty hunter is asked to capture a Mexican rebel, and accepts the job after the outlaw’s men attack his own ranch. But when he witnesses the cruel methods used by his employer, he resolves to bring the fugitive to a fair trial rather than let him face rough justice. Western, starring Clint Eastwood, Robert Duvall and John Saxon. Edited for language and violence.

Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985) ITV4 5:10pm-7:00pm
America’s most inept cops graduate and are let loose on the streets – under the command of an unscrupulous lieutenant whose promotion depends on their failure. Fortunately for him, their unique brand of policing actually leads to an increase in the crime rate. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, David Graf and Michael Winslow.

The Dirty Dozen (1967) Dave 5:00pm-8:00pm (3 hours)
An uncompromising major is placed in charge of a seemingly suicidal mission to destroy a French chateau being used as a base by Nazi officers. Needing tough but expendable soldiers for the task, he recruits 12 hardened criminals from a military prison. Second World War action adventure, starring Lee Marvin, Telly Savalas, Ernest Borgnine, Charles Bronson and Donald Sutherland.

Thor: The Dark World (2013) BBC1 8:30pm-10:15pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The alien thunder god returns to Earth when a powerful weapon from the dawn of time is discovered. The device attracts the attention of an old enemy of his people, who intends to use it to plunge the universe into darkness – and to stop him, Thor must form an uneasy alliance with his treacherous brother Loki. Superhero adventure sequel, starring Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston and Natalie Portman.

Thor Merchandise

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, maybe wait ten mins before eating more and don’t forget to take a plastic bag with you to the shops.

xoxo

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Smoking tyre! It’s really another retro weekend?! So soon! Well….if you’re sure.

Like a small and nimble mountain goat (…bear with us), we find ourselves clambering up the great retro movie cliff face on our tiny but perfectly designed hooves in search of only the greatest and tastiest retro classics. We’ll hop and skip our way up and along even the most precarious of footings as we use our skill and steadfastness to pluck out some of the best and most-loved retro movie scenes for all to see.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 4th June

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Mannequin
(1987) 5STAR 12:20pm-2:10pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A struggling artist gets a job as a window dresser for a department store, only to discover one of his dummies is a reincarnated Egyptian princess who comes to life at night. As he falls for the living doll, she inspires him to transform the shop’s display and make it the most spectacular in town. Fantasy comedy, starring Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall.

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000) ITV2 1:10pm-2:10pm (1 hour) 2 parts
Young courting couples Fred and Wilma, and Barney and Betty are invited to stay at a luxury casino in the Stone Age gambling capital. Owner Chip Rockefeller is bent on stopping Fred proposing to wealthy Wilma, because he wants to marry her himself for the money and settle his debts. Family comedy prequel, with Mark Addy, Stephen Baldwin, Joan Collins, Alan Cumming, Kristen Johnston and Jane Krakowski.

Blue Streak (1999) 5STAR 2:10pm-4:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A convicted jewel thief is released from prison, and sets about recovering his hidden loot – only to discover a police station has since been built where he left it. Undeterred, he poses as a maverick cop and worms his way into the detective division – little realising his problems have only just begun. Comedy, starring Martin Lawrence, Luke Wilson and Peter Greene.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 4:45pm-5:45pm (1 hour) 2 parts
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minions TShirts

Alice in Wonderland (2010) BBC2 8:30pm-10:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A 19-year-old Alice returns to the magical land, having forgotten her previous adventures. She finds the tyrannical Red Queen has begun a reign of terror that can only be ended by slaying the monstrous Jabberwocky – a task she is seemingly destined to attempt. Tim Burton’s fantasy adventure based on Lewis Carroll’s novels, starring Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter and Anne Hathaway.

Alice in Wonderland Merchandise

Predator (1987) E4 9:00pm-11:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
An elite military team takes on a top-secret mission in the jungles of Central America, but the soldiers realise they have been deceived by their CIA employers. A greater danger presents itself when they are stalked by a lethal alien big-game hunter with the power to become invisible, that has come to Earth to stalk human prey. Sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers and Bill Duke.

Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995) BBC1 10:45pm-12:45am (2 hours)
New York cop John McClane returns to duty following an explosion at a department store in the city. The perpetrator contacts the police and tells them that unless McClane and an unfortunate bystander who was in the wrong place at the wrong time carry out a series of instructions to the letter, more bombs will be detonated. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Samuel L Jackson and Jeremy Irons.

SUNDAY 5th June

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Doc Hollywood
(1991) ITV3 7:55am-8:55am (1 hour) 2 parts
An arrogant doctor on his way to California causes an accident in a rural South Carolina town and is sentenced to community service at the local hospital. Initially desperate to leave, he gradually comes to appreciate a slower pace of life. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, Julie Warner, Woody Harrelson, Bridget Fonda and George Hamilton.

See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) Channel 5 12:00pm-1:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A blind man and his deaf friend go on the run to clear themselves of a trumped-up murder charge. However, all kinds of oddball characters are on their trail, determined to get hold of a top-secret microchip that the duo do not realise they have. Comedy, starring Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder, Kevin Spacey, Joan Severance, Alan North and Anthony Zerbe.

Beethoven (1992) ITV2 1:05pm-2:05pm (1 hour) 2 parts
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.

Spies Like Us (1985) Channel 5 1:50pm-3:45pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Two incompetent US State Department officials are unwittingly used as decoys on a deadly mission to thwart Soviet activity in Pakistan. Unfortunately, their involvement in such a delicate operation brings the world to the brink of nuclear war. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Forrest, Bruce Davison and Donna Dixon.

Wayne’s World (1992) Channel 5 3:45pm-5:35pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Two heavy-metal fans broadcast an amateur TV programme from their basement. A slimy network executive offers them the chance to turn professional, but as they enjoy the perks of wealth and fame, they find their show being ruined by corporate interference. Comedy, starring Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Rob Lowe, Tia Carrere and Lara Flynn Boyle, with a cameo by Alice Cooper.

Addams Family Values (1993) Film4 4:50pm-6:35pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Spooky couple Gomez and Morticia hire a nanny to look after their new baby son – and stop him suffering an early death at the hands of his jealous elder siblings. Romance soon blossoms between the new childminder and Uncle Fester, but he does not realise she is planning to kill him once she has got hold of the family fortune. Comedy sequel, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci and Joan Cusack.

The Jungle Book (1967) Channel 4 5:05pm-6:35pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
A boy is raised by animals in the jungle, leading a carefree life with his friends, a laidback bear and a wise panther. The return of a ferocious tiger who hates humans places the youngster’s life in danger, and his friends must persuade him to return to the safety of his own people. Disney animated adventure based on Rudyard Kipling’s stories, with the voices of Phil Harris and George Sanders.

The Jungle Book Merchandise

Mission: Impossible 2 (2000) Film4 6:35pm-9:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Secret agent Ethan Hunt sent to find and destroy the only sample of a deadly man-made virus. However, he faces tough opposition in a former spy-turned-criminal mastermind who has already acquired the cure and now wants the pathogen itself. Director John Woo’s action thriller sequel, starring Tom Cruise, Dougray Scott, Thandie Newton and Anthony Hopkins.

Zoolander (2001) Dave 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Dim male model Derek Zoolander is stunned to find his career going downhill thanks to the arrival of an equally vacuous rival – but fails to realise he is merely a pawn in a dangerous game of international espionage and world domination. Comedy, starring Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Milla Jovovich, Christine Taylor and David Duchovny.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend,don’t forget the washing up and remember to always check both ways first.

xoxo

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