Dirty Dancing

Sweet Valley High! Another retro movie weekend has landed and is here to whisk us off to far and foreign lands!

With a clip and a clonk, we’re re-living our childhoods once again as we connect power cables and controllers to our favourite dusty old game console. Firmly slotting in the well-used cartridge which is packed with data and memories, we’ll hit the power switch and begin to jump, run and slide our way around the old familiar lands we once conquered man moons before.

SATURDAY 14th October

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Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
(2001) Syfy 2:20pm-4:30pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The gun-toting treasure seeker is thrown into a furious battle with a mysterious secret society as she races against time to locate the missing pieces of a legendary artefact that grants the owner the ability to control time. Action adventure based on the video games, starring Angelina Jolie, Daniel Craig, Leslie Phillips, Iain Glen, Chris Barrie and Jon Voight.

Titanic (1997) Film4 2:30pm-6:15pm (3 hours 45 minutes)
A party of explorers studying the sunken remains of the famous liner meets an elderly woman who was a passenger on the ill-fated maiden voyage. She recounts how she boarded the ship while on the brink of being forced into marriage by her family, and was stopped from killing herself by a penniless artist. She fell in love with her saviour, but the disaster on the horizon meant their time together was doomed to be short. James Cameron’s Oscar-winning romantic drama, starring Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates and Bill Paxton.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) Spike 2:45pm-5:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Two notorious outlaws’ routine of bank and train robberies is cut short when a seemingly unstoppable posse is formed to catch them. The pair plan to flee America and start a new life in Bolivia, with the Sundance Kid’s schoolmistress lover in tow – but staying ahead of the law is not so easy. Western, starring Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Katharine Ross.

Dirty Dancing (1987) 5STAR 3:55pm-6:00pm
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Dirty Dancing Merchandise

Liar Liar (1997) ITV2 5:45pm-7:30pm
A lawyer, whose underhand ploys to win cases leave him little time to see his son, discovers he is incapable of lying after the boy’s birthday wish makes his dad tell only the truth. However, this causes a host of problems as the attorney tries to muddle his way through a high-profile divorce settlement. Comedy, with Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Jennifer Tilly and Cary Elwes.

Pale Rider (1985) ITV4 9:00pm-11:20pm
An unscrupulous landowner threatens to throw gold-miners off their land and take the riches for himself. As the law turns a blind eye to their troubles, the miners desperately need a saviour – who happens to arrive in the form of a mysterious preacher with formidable gunfighting skills. Western, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood, alongside Michael Moriarty, Carrie Snodgress and Richard Dysart.

SUNDAY 15th October

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The Dark Crystal
(1982) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

The Dark Crystal Board Game

The Mask of Zorro (1998) Sony Movie Channel 12:00pm-2:00pm (2 hours)
The sword-wielding saviour of Spanish California returns after 20 years in prison, tutoring a thief to take over his heroic role and tackle corrupt government officials, who are using slave labour to mine gold illegally. Both mentor and pupil have personal scores to settle with their enemies, led by a ruthless governor and a psychotic military officer. Swashbuckling adventure, with Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Napoleon Dynamite (2004) Film4 1:00pm-2:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A socially inept high-school student and his lonely unemployed brother find their eccentric home life thrown into upheaval when their meddling uncle comes to stay. The teenage oddball tries to make the best of his changing circumstances, while putting all his skills to the task of helping his new best friend win the class presidency. Comedy, starring Jon Heder, Efren Ramirez and Haylie Duff.

Napoleon Dynamite TShirts

The ‘Burbs (1989) Channel 5 1:45pm-3:35pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The arrival of secretive neighbours sparks an unhealthy curiosity in a group of friends, leading them to go to bizarre lengths to discover the truth about the newcomers. However, their investigations take an even weirder twist when they begin to suspect their unseen fellow suburbanites are part of a cannibalistic cult. Joe Dante’s black comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher, Corey Feldman and Henry Gibson.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977) Sony Movie Channel 2:00pm-4:10pm
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.

Fun Fact: This was such a hit that it became the second highest grossing movie released in 1977, next to Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977).

Antz (1998) Channel 4 2:30pm-4:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A neurotic worker ant passes himself off as a soldier to impress a princess. However, he provokes a jealously ambitious general with an accidental act of heroism – so he and his beloved decide to flee the brutal colony and go in search of the promised land of Insectopia. Animated comedy, with the voices of Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman and Sylvester Stallone.

National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Channel 5 3:35pm-5:15pm
A maverick cop and his by-the-book partner investigate the murder of a fellow detective, uncovering a sinister conspiracy to get the people of America hooked on cocaine-flavoured cookies. Spoof of the Lethal Weapon movies, starring Emilio Estevez, Samuel L Jackson, Jon Lovitz, Tim Curry and William Shatner.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Film4 4:40pm-6:45pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Merchandise

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) Channel 5 7:20pm-8:55pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

Conan the Destroyer (1984) ITV4 9:00pm-11:05pm
The mighty sword-wielding warrior returns and is hired by a duplicitous queen to retrieve a mystical artefact from an evil sorcerer. Unfortunately, he fails to see that the malevolent monarch has a sinister plan in mind, and intends to kill him once his task is complete. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Grace Jones, Wilt Chamberlain and Sarah Douglas.

Highlander (1986) Spike 11:05pm-1:25am
A 16th-century Scottish clansman discovers he is one of a race of immortal warriors who can only be killed by beheading, and who are destined to fight to the death until just one survives. Centuries later in modern-day New York, he prepares for a final showdown with his deadliest enemy. Fantasy action adventure, starring Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, Clancy Brown and Roxanne Hart.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always do your best and you’ll never be disappointed.

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Great balls of fire! It’s time for another instalment of our weekly retro movie rundown and this one has got us pretty excited!

Preheating the oven to a toasty 180, we will begin our journey to soft, warm baking glory with some simple scales and ingredients. Turning some basic looking matter into something which will fill our home with a smell from our childhood and will produce one of the most simple pleasures we can create. Weighing, measuring, mixing and kneading our way to a perfect dough, we will slide our creation into the fiery food box. Awaiting for mystic food science to happen, will our bread be as soft, fluffy and scrumptious as we imagined? Only one way to find out!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 5th August

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Look Who’s Talking Too (1990) Sony Movie Channel 9:00am-10:40am
Wisecracking toddler Mikey is joined by mischievous baby sister Julie and sibling rivalry inevitably erupts – while their parents have problems of their own to deal with, in the shape of the kids’ good-for-nothing uncle. Comedy sequel, starring John Travolta and Kirstie Alley, with the voices of Bruce Willis and Rosanne Barr.

The Princess Bride (1987) 5STAR 11:50am-1:50pm
A cynical youngster becomes entranced by his grandfather’s magical tales, which revolve around a stable-boy’s heroic quest to rescue his lost love from the clutches of an evil prince, with the aid of a vengeance-seeking Spanish swashbuckler and his hulking sidekick. Rob Reiner’s comic fantasy adventure, with Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, Mandy Patinkin, Peter Falk and Fred Savage.

Willow (1988) 5STAR 2:50pm-5:15pm
A farmer with dreams of becoming a wizard finds an abandoned baby, who is destined to bring about the downfall of an evil queen. The wicked tyrant’s minions have been sent to kill the child before she can fulfil the prophecy, and it falls to the would-be sorcerer to protect her, with the aid of a rogue warrior. Fantasy adventure, starring Warwick Davis and Val Kilmer.

Hook (1991) Sony Movie Channel 3:05pm-6:10pm
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) Spike 4:45pm-7:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Two notorious outlaws’ routine of bank and train robberies is cut short when a seemingly unstoppable posse is formed to catch them. The pair plan to flee America and start a new life in Bolivia, with the Sundance Kid’s schoolmistress lover in tow – but staying ahead of the law is not so easy. Western, starring Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Katharine Ross.

Last Action Hero (1993) Sony Movie Channel 6:20pm-9:00pm
A boy watching an action movie is transported into the film by a magic ticket and meets its hero figure, who refuses to believe he is a fictional character. Matters take a turn for the worse when the screen villain gets hold of the ticket and crosses over into the real world – where bad guys can win. Comedy adventure, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin O’Brien, Charles Dance, F Murray Abraham and Anthony Quinn.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Gifts

Liar Liar (1997) ITV2 7:15pm-9:00pm
A lawyer, whose underhand ploys to win cases leave him little time to see his son, discovers he is incapable of lying after the boy’s birthday wish makes his dad tell only the truth. However, this causes a host of problems as the attorney tries to muddle his way through a high-profile divorce settlement. Comedy, with Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Jennifer Tilly and Cary Elwes.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) ITV4 9:00pm-11:45pm
A reprogrammed killing machine is sent back in time to the 20th century to protect John Connor, a teenage boy whose destiny is to save the human race. After breaking John’s mother out of a mental institution, the pair set out to avert a future nuclear war – pursued by an advanced prototype terminator with shape-changing powers. Sci-fi action adventure sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong and Robert Patrick.

GoldenEye (1995) ITV 10:50pm-1:20am (2 hours 30 minutes)
James Bond heads for Russia to investigate the connection between the theft of an experimental helicopter and an orbital satellite weapon with the power to devastate entire cities. He discovers both have fallen into the hands of a mysterious criminal mastermind with a grudge against Britain and a connection with 007′s past. Spy adventure, with Pierce Brosnan, Sean Bean, Izabella Scorupco and Famke Janssen.

James Bond Merchandise

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) BBC1 11:55pm-1:30am (1 hour 35 minutes)
Four teenagers accidentally run over a stranger and hide the body rather than inform the authorities, only to find themselves stalked the following year by a shadowy figure who takes great delight in disposing of them in a variety of gruesome ways. Horror, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Freddie Prinze Jr and Anne Heche.

SUNDAY 6th August

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Short Circuit (1986) Film4 1:00pm-3:00pm (2 hours)
A military robot is struck by lightning and develops a mind of its own. The machine embarks on a series of comic misadventures, but the company that made him want him back. He realises his only hope is to convince the scientist who invented him that he really is alive. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Steve Guttenberg, Ally Sheedy and Fisher Stevens.

The Borrowers (1997) Film4 3:00pm-4:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A family of four-inch-high people living beneath the floorboards of an ordinary human home help the owner’s son fight back when a dastardly lawyer plans to demolish the house and make way for a luxury apartment block. Children’s fantasy, starring John Goodman, Jim Broadbent, Celia Imrie, Flora Newbigin and Tom Felton.

A Bug’s Life (1998) ITV2 5:10pm-7:15pm
Well-meaning ant Flik lands his colony in trouble when he accidentally disposes of an offering meant for a swarm of greedy grasshoppers – who promptly promise a horrible revenge. Faced with the imminent destruction of the anthill, he sets out to save the situation by enlisting the help of a few would-be heroes – an out-of-work troupe of bugs from a low-rent flea circus. Pixar animation, with the voices of Dave Foley, Kevin Spacey and Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

Dirty Dancing (1987) Channel 5 5:10pm-7:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) ITV 7:30pm-10:25pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
The young wizard is given the task of uncovering the secrets of Lord Voldemort’s past as the evil sorcerer’s henchmen cause havoc in both the magical and Muggle worlds. With the help of headmaster Dumbledore, Harry ventures into the memories of those who knew the Dark Lord during his early years, hoping to gain an insight into the secret behind his apparent immortality. However, Voldemort’s influence extends much closer to home than expected, as Harry’s rival Malfoy is chosen to carry out a sinister mission. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Michael Gambon, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Tom Felton and Alan Rickman.

Harry Potter Merchandise

Cliffhanger (1993) ITV4 9:00pm-11:10pm
A retired mountain rescue expert is drawn into a battle of wits with a psychopathic criminal searching for a $100million fortune lost in the Rockies – and puts his life on the line as he negotiates the treacherous mountains in a bid to stay one step ahead of the crook. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, Janine Turner and Michael Rooker.

Point Break (1991) Channel 5 11:05pm-1:15am (2 hours 10 minutes)
An FBI agent infiltrates a Californian surfing gang suspected of carrying out a series of armed robberies wearing masks modelled on former US presidents. However, his loyalties are tested to the limits when he is befriended by the gang’s leader. Kathryn Bigelow’s thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, Gary Busey and Lori Petty.

Mars Attacks! (1996) ITV4 11:10pm-1:20am
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, stay smart and remember that we’re all trying to get somewhere, making your journey easier if often done by making someone else’s too.

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Cor blimey governor! Another retro movie weekend so soon? We’d better hop to it!

Shouting it out loud and proud like an old timey Victorian street trader, we’ll dig out, wash off and proudly display our fresh batch of retro movie goodies. Roll up, roll up… classic movies for all! Shouting louder than our market competition, we’ll put only the best ones at the front and make sure they shine bright to any passers by.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 29th July

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Death Becomes Her (1992) ITV3 9:30am-11:30am
Two romantic rivals are both granted the secret of eternal youth by a mysterious mystic. However, as they battle to get their claws into a plastic surgeon, they discover their now-immortal bodies are capable of taking whatever damage they can dish out. Black comedy fantasy, starring Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis and Isabella Rossellini.

Getting Even with Dad (1994) 5STAR 11:05am-1:15pm
Spoilt child Timmy goes to live with his outwardly respectable father, but realises he is a small-time thief planning his latest robbery. Timmy sets out to reform his dad, and in the meantime manages to fix him up with an attractive undercover cop – leading to much confusion. Family comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Ted Danson, Glenne Headly and Hector Elizondo.

The Rainmaker (1997) Sony Movie Channel 6:15pm-9:00pm
An idealistic newly qualified lawyer teams up with a disreputable researcher to champion the cause of a leukaemia sufferer whose mother is suing an insurance company for refusing to pay his medical costs. As the case progresses, the young legal eagle finds he has much to learn about the dark side of the judicial process. Francis Ford Coppola’s courtroom drama adapted from the novel by John Grisham, starring Matt Damon, Danny DeVito, Jon Voight, Claire Danes and Mickey Rourke.

Fun Fact: The scene where Danny DeVito wakes up Matt Damon on the bench was filmed hurriedly, surprising Damon, who had actually fallen asleep after a scene.

Midnight Run (1988) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:40pm
When accountant Jonathan Mardukas skips bail after having been arrested for embezzlement, bounty hunter Jack Walsh is hired to catch the fraudster and return him from New York to Los Angeles. Unfortunately, his task is hindered by the ingenuity of Mardukas and the attentions of pursuing FBI agents and Mafia hitmen. Comedy thriller, starring Robert De Niro, Charles Grodin, Yaphet Kotto, Dennis Farina, John Ashton and Joe Pantoliano.

The Green Mile (1999) Film4 9:00pm-12:40am (3 hours 40 minutes)
A convicted child-killer of towering height and massive build is condemned to death row, but astonishes the guards with his good nature and miraculous healing powers. They believe the gentle giant is incapable of crime, and emotions run high as they realise there is no hope of overturning his death sentence. Supernatural drama, based on a novel by Stephen King, starring Tom Hanks, Michael Clarke Duncan, David Morse and Harry Dean Stanton.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999) Dave 10:00pm-11:35pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
The crusading grown-ups of the Colorado town lead America into war against Canada in a bid to eradicate bad language from TV. The four young heroes set out to bring peace to the world, but have to battle a fearsome alliance between Satan and Saddam Hussein. Animated musical comedy, with the voices of Trey Parker and Matt Stone, as well as George Clooney, Eric Idle and Isaac Hayes.

South Park TShirts

Fight Club (1999) 5STAR 11:45pm-2:35am
A disillusioned office worker grows weary of his humdrum existence, but after meeting the mysterious Tyler Durden he finds fulfilment in establishing a club where similarly frustrated men come to vent their anger in bouts of bare-knuckle fighting. Satirical drama, directed by David Fincher, starring Edward Norton, Brad Pitt, Helena Bonham Carter, Meat Loaf and Jared Leto.

SUNDAY 30th July

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Flight of the Navigator (1986) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978, and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) Channel 5 12:50pm-2:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An eccentric but brilliant former cop sets himself up to champion the underdog – as a private eye specialising in locating missing animals. The zany detective is called in to find a kidnapped dolphin – the mascot of an American football team – and uncovers a plot involving high-level police corruption. Comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Courteney Cox, Sean Young, Tone Loc and Noble Willingham.

The Waterboy (1998) ITV2 1:30pm-3:20pm
An American football team’s waterboy puts up with constant ridicule from the players. But one day his anger gets the better of him and he demonstrates an unexpected talent for tackling – so the coach gives him a chance to prove his worth on the pitch. However, he has to keep his blossoming sporting career a secret from his overprotective mother. Comedy, with Adam Sandler, Kathy Bates, Henry Winkler and Fairuza Balk.

The Return of the Musketeers (1989) Film4 4:45pm-6:55pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
D’Artagnan reunites his former companions to save the queen of France from the scheming Cardinal Mazarin, and embark on a mission to England to prevent the beheading of Charles I. Meanwhile, the daughter of a former vanquished enemy is seeking revenge on the four heroes. Swashbuckling adventure sequel, with Oliver Reed, Michael York, Frank Finlay, Richard Chamberlain, Kim Cattrall and Roy Kinnear.

Blues Brothers 2000 (1998) Sony Movie Channel 6:20pm-9:00pm
Ex-convict Elwood Blues sets about re-forming his band to raise funds for a children’s hospital. But no sooner has he found a suitable lead singer to replace his late brother Jake, than the band end up being pursued by the police, the Russian mafia and his own embittered stepbrother. Comedy sequel, starring Dan Aykroyd, John Goodman and Joe Morton.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) Spike 6:20pm-8:30pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Two notorious outlaws’ routine of bank and train robberies is cut short when a seemingly unstoppable posse is formed to catch them. The pair plan to flee America and start a new life in Bolivia, with the Sundance Kid’s schoolmistress lover in tow – but staying ahead of the law is not so easy. Western, starring Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Katharine Ross.

Home Alone (1990) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

Home Alone TShirts

Dirty Dancing (1987) Channel 5 8:00pm-10:05pm
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007) ITV 8:00pm-10:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
The young wizard struggles to convince his fellow sorcerers that the evil Lord Voldemort has returned to life. When Hogwarts headmaster Dumbledore is ousted in favour of a sadistic replacement, Harry realises he must take matters into his own hands, uniting his fellow pupils to form a secret army and training them for the inevitable confrontation to come. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Gary Oldman, Michael Gambon and Alan Rickman.

Harry Potter Merchandise

The Naked Gun: From the Files of Police Squad! (1988) ITV4 9:00pm-10:50pm
While investigating the shooting of a colleague, disaster-prone police lieutenant Frank Drebin uncovers a plot to assassinate Queen Elizabeth II during her visit to Los Angeles. However, after he is sacked from the force by the mayor, the cop has to operate beneath the radar to get to the bottom of the conspiracy. Comedy, with Leslie Nielsen, Priscilla Presley and Ricardo Montalban.

The Peacemaker (1997) BBC1 11:20pm-1:15am
A military intelligence officer and a government expert on nuclear weapons team up to find the terrorists who have stolen ten atomic bombs from a train. The duo are initially reluctant to co-operate, but a grudging respect gradually develops after they are forced to work together. Action thriller, starring George Clooney, Nicole Kidman, Marcel lures and Armin Mueller-Stahl.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always read the instructions and keep a spare pair handy.

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Crisps and dip at the ready! It’s another retro movie filled weekend folks. Let’s tuck in…

Like many of you retro movie lovers in the land, we spend a lot of our time waiting for a special delivery. Sometimes it’s some classic retro 80s clothing, sometimes it’s that new tap you’re had to replace (exciting!), however sometimes, juuuust sometimes it’s something a whole lot more amazing and wondiferous! When it arrives, you’re so excited and relieved that you completely forget all the drama, heartache and frustration that came in the moments before. Being completely overwhelmed with emotions and joy at the sight of your shiny new thing and what it will mean. Some deliveries are good, some a great and some are simply the best things ever…

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 8th July

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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) ITV 10:20am-1:20pm (3 hours)
The young wizard and his friends return for their second term at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to discover a strange serpentine power is petrifying the other students. Meanwhile, Harry is haunted by a sinister voice in his head urging him to uncover the dark force that is stalking the corridors of the school. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Kenneth Branagh.

Harry Potter Merchandise

Michael (1996) 5STAR 11:25am-1:35pm
Two tabloid journalists and a theological expert investigate reports of an angel living in a remote town. They discover the stories are true, but find the heavenly being has a remarkable fondness for earthly pleasures – and as they travel back across America to present him to their editor, their lives change in unexpected ways. Fantasy comedy, starring John Travolta, Andie MacDowell, William Hurt and Bob Hoskins.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) E4 3:00pm-5:00pm (2 hours)
A cocky teenager plays truant from school and spends the day dragging his girlfriend and a reluctant friend into all manner of crazy adventures in the big city – while the school’s dean of students vows to stop at nothing to prove the youngster is faking illness. Comedy, starring Matthew Broderick, Mia Sara, Alan Ruck, Jennifer Grey, Jeffrey Jones and Charlie Sheen.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off T-Shirts

Men in Black (1997) Film4 4:40pm-6:35pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.

Dirty Dancing (1987) 5STAR 4:55pm-7:00pm
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Switchback (1997) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:25pm
A hitch-hiker accepts a ride with a former rail worker, and the pair end up in a Texas city where a murder has just been committed. The local sheriff and an FBI agent are already on the case, but as the investigation hots up, it becomes clear that one of the four is responsible for the crime. Thriller, starring Dennis Quaid, Danny Glover, Jared Leto and R Lee Ermey.

Die Hard 2 (1990) E4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife, but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

Fun Fact: Renny Harlin made sure that the scene where Major Grant says to McClane that he is “the wrong guy in the wrong place at the wrong time”, with McClane responding “Yeah, story of my life”, ended up in the movie’s trailer, because it perfectly summed up McClane’s character.

Training Day (2001) Dave 11:00pm-1:20am (2 hours 20 minutes)
A cop embarks on his first day in narcotics, partnering a seasoned officer whose willingness to flout the rules forces him to question everything he has learnt. As they resort to extreme measures to crack a case, the rookie is left battling his conscience in a dangerous situation. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington, Ethan Hawke, Scott Glenn and Tom Berenger.

SUNDAY 9th July

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Fly Away Home (1996) Sony Movie Channel 1:30pm-3:50pm
A 13-year-old girl finds an abandoned nest of goose eggs and raises the chicks when they hatch. As winter approaches, the birds need to fly south, so she and her inventor father construct a light aircraft to lead the way. Family adventure, starring Jeff Daniels, Anna Paquin, Dana Delany and Terry Kinney.

Moonraker (1979) ITV 3:30pm-6:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
James Bond’s investigations into the mysterious disappearance of a space shuttle lead him to a sinister industrialist, who is plotting to wipe out most of the human race. The secret agent also faces a rematch with his old enemy, metal-toothed hitman Jaws. Spy adventure, starring Roger Moore, Michael Lonsdale, Richard Kiel and Lois Chiles.

101 Dalmatians (1996) E4 6:00pm-8:00pm (2 hours)
Wicked fashion designer Cruella De Vil steals a huge litter of newborn Dalmatian puppies to turn into a magnificent coat – but the lucky pups have many four-legged friends who are determined the evil woman and her cronies will get their just deserts. Disney’s live-action remake of the animated comedy adventure, starring Glenn Close, Jeff Daniels, Joely Richardson, Hugh Laurie and Mark Williams.

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Jaws (1975) ITV4 9:00pm-11:40pm
A New England seaside town’s tourist season is turned into a nightmare by a giant killer shark. The local police chief’s efforts to protect the public are thwarted by the greedy mayor, forcing him to join forces with a grizzled fisherman and a marine biologist to hunt and kill the monster predator. Steven Spielberg’s thriller, starring Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss and Robert Shaw.

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Sleepless in Seattle (1993) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:15pm
A widowed father is coping badly with his wife’s death, but his son is convinced that what he really needs is some new romance in his life. He arranges for his dad to go on a radio phone-in show, and his touching story moves a reporter to respond, even though she is already engaged. She returns to her fiancĂ©e, but the boy, certain she is the woman for his father, plots to bring them together. Romantic comedy, with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember it’s better to be over and under prepared.

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Great balls of fire! Another weekend, another retro movie rundown.

With great gusts and great gales, the wild weather beats and howls at the windows. Hearing the thrashing of the branches and the hollow scrapes of the bins, we’ll tuck ourselves in for another night amongst the safety of the sofa and warm glow of the box. Peeping out the window only to observe the chaos and fury of the outside world, before heading back to view the retro movie wonders that will once again be beaming their way into our little world.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 25th FEBRUARY

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Muppets from Space
(1999) Sony Channel 9:00am-10:50am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Gonzo hits the road with pal Rizzo in tow and goes in search of his roots – only to make the amazing discovery that his parents belonged to a race of aliens. He then has to choose whether to board a UFO and return to his family, or stay with the friends he knows and loves. Family comedy, with F Murray Abraham, David Arquette, Ray Liotta, Andie MacDowell and Rob Schneider alongside the puppets.

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Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home (1995) ITV 12:00pm-1:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The friendly whale is reunited with Jesse, the boy who saved him from captivity. Jesse and his younger half-brother Elvis take time out from a family holiday to help save Willy and his pod from the danger posed by oil spilling from a crippled tanker. Family adventure, starring Jason James Richter, Michael Madsen, August Schellenberg and Francis Capra.

Harry and the Hendersons (1987) 5STAR 2:55pm-5:05pm
A hapless family’s camping holiday in the mountains is brought to a sudden end when they accidentally hit the legendary Bigfoot with their car. They decide to adopt the endearing creature, but have more trouble than expected trying to keep him concealed and to avoid arousing their neighbours’ suspicions. Comedy, starring John Lithgow, Melinda Dillon, David Suchet, Don Ameche and Kevin Peter Hall.

Cutthroat Island (1995) 12:55pm-3:15pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A tough female pirate enlists the help of an educated slave in finding the three parts of a map leading to buried treasure. However, one of the pieces is in the hands of her cruel uncle, and she also has to find the loot before her crew mutinies or the British Navy catches up with her. Swashbuckling adventure, starring Geena Davis, Matthew Modine, Frank Langella and Maury Chaykin.

Dirty Dancing (1987) 5STAR 5:05pm-7:10pm
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

American Pie (1999) ITV2 9:00pm-11:00pm
Four teenage boys make a solemn pact to lose their virginity before the high-school prom, and though their antics cause them huge embarrassment and public humiliation, the friends also learn about love and affection in their relations with the opposite sex. Coming-of-age comedy, starring Jason Biggs, Shannon Elizabeth, Chris Klein, Alyson Hannigan, Mena Suvari, Seann William Scott and Eugene Levy.

Red Heat (1988) ITV4 11:00pm-1:05am
A Russian detective travels to America to oversee the extradition of a Georgian drug baron responsible for supplying cocaine in Moscow. He is teamed up with a hostile Chicago cop, but when their prisoner kills an officer and escapes, they put aside their mutual mistrust to bring him to justice. Action thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Belushi, Peter Boyle, Laurence Fishburne and Ed O’Ross.

SUNDAY 26th FEBRUARY

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Matilda
(1996) Sony Movie Channel 11:30am-1:40pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

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Dragnet (1987) Dave 2:50pm-5:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A by-the-book Los Angeles cop is paired with a laidback new partner to investigate the nefarious activities of a TV evangelist and a pornographic-magazine baron suspected of operating a criminal cult. Comedy spoof of the 1950s TV series, starring Dan Aykroyd, Tom Hanks, Christopher Plummer and the original show’s star Harry Morgan.

Jumanji (1995) Sony Movie Channel 3:55pm-6:05pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A man who has been trapped inside a mysterious jungle board game for 26 years is eventually freed when two children start to play it. Unfortunately, he arrives with a rampaging horde of animals on his heels, leaving only one solution – to finish the game he started all those years ago. Fantasy adventure, starring Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst and Bonnie Hunt.

101 Dalmatians (1996) Channel 4 4:30pm-6:30pm (2 hours)
Wicked fashion designer Cruella De Vil steals a huge litter of newborn Dalmatian puppies to turn into a magnificent coat – but the lucky pups have many four-legged friends who are determined the evil woman and her cronies will get their just deserts. Disney’s live-action remake of the animated comedy adventure, starring Glenn Close, Jeff Daniels, Joely Richardson, Hugh Laurie and Mark Williams.

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The Fifth Element (1997) Channel 5 6:00pm-8:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman.

Kindergarten Cop (1990) ITV2 6:45pm-9:00pm
A tough detective is forced to pose as a preschool teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson.

Braveheart (1995) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-12:45am (3 hours 45 minutes)
Account of the life of medieval Scottish hero William Wallace. After the slaughter of his father and brother, young Wallace is taken in by his uncle, who teaches him how to use not only his brawn but his brain – which he employs to great effect years later when he resolves to drive the English out of Scotland. Oscar-winning historical epic, directed by and starring Mel Gibson. With Patrick McGoohan, Sophie Marceau and Catherine McCormack.

Total Recall (1990) ITV4 10:00pm-12:15am
A construction worker pays to have fake memories of a dream holiday implanted into his brain, but discovers his mind has already been tampered with – apparently to erase his true identity as a secret agent from a colony on Mars. He journeys to the planet in search of the truth, but is drawn into a conflict between the tyrannical ruler and a rebel faction. Paul Verhoeven’s sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin and Michael Ironside.

Clear and Present Danger (1994) Channel 4 11:00pm-1:30am (2 hours 30 minutes)
A CIA analyst gets caught up in the Colombian drug trade while trying to track down terrorists responsible for the murder of a close friend of the US president – but his investigations point to illegal activity and corruption at the very top of government. Action thriller, based on Tom Clancy’s novel, with Harrison Ford reprising his role from Patriot Games alongside Willem Dafoe, Anne Archer and James Earl Jones.

The Terminator (1984) Channel 5 11:15pm-1:15am (2 hours)
A cyborg assassin is sent on a murderous mission back in time to the 20th century, where he wreaks havoc while searching for his intended victim – a woman whose unborn son is destined to lead the human race in a war against machines. However, a soldier has also been sent from the future to protect her. James Cameron’s sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton and Michael Biehn.

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) ITV4 12:15am-2:15am
A crook and his unhinged brother take a preacher’s family hostage and cross the border into Mexico. They head to a rough strip club to make a planned rendezvous with a third party – but they soon have to live on their wits when they realise that the establishment’s staff are vampires. Horror, starring George Clooney, Harvey Keitel, Quentin Tarantino, Juliette Lewis and Salma Hayek.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember it’s better to buy more before you run and that sometimes even the smallest changes can make the biggest difference.

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Slap my thigh and tickle my chin!
It’s only another fun-packed retro movie weekend! A perfect time to sit back and enjoy some of the greatest moments in movie history which also bring some of the most memorable performances, scenes, and storylines. Grab the snacks, plump up the pillows and enjoy some of our top picks for this weekend!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 25th June

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Black Beauty
(1994) ITV3 8:25am-9:25am
A stallion recalls the events of his life and a succession of good and bad owners. His carefree youth on a country estate is brought to an end by a stable fire, and he ends up enduring a hard life pulling a hackney cab in Victorian London. Family drama based on Anna Sewell’s novel, starring Sean Bean, David Thewlis, Jim Carter and Eleanor Bron, with Alan Cumming providing the voice of the horse.

Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) Channel 5 11:40am-1:40pm (2 hours)
Captain Picard and the Enterprise crew uncover a conspiracy by their own superiors and a sinister alien race to take over a peaceful world and exploit its power to prolong life. However, the crew is forced to defy Federation orders and turns renegade to protect the planet’s inhabitants. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, F Murray Abraham, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner and Michael Dorn.

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Fantastic Mr Fox (2009) Film4 1:00pm-2:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A rebellious fox decides it is time to grow up and change his chicken-stealing ways for the sake of his wife and children. However, the presence of three wicked farmers near his woodland home proves a challenge he cannot resist. Stop-motion animated adventure based on the novel by Roald Dahl, with the voices of George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray.

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Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986) ITV4 2:45pm-4:30pm
Facing closure from cutbacks in public spending and competition from a more successful academy, the police training school calls on its bungling graduates to act as instructors and make good officers out of a bunch of new recruits even more incompetent than they are. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow and Art Metrano.

Superman (1978) ITV4 4:30pm-7:30pm
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

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Flubber (1997) 5STAR 5:05pm-7:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A scatty professor is in financial trouble, and his only hope of avoiding disaster is to market his latest invention – a strange rubbery substance with a life of its own. However, a criminal gang is determined to get hold of his creation. Remake of 1961 Disney comedy The Absent-Minded Professor, with Robin Williams, Marcia Gay Harden, Christopher McDonald and Wil Wheaton.

Dirty Dancing (1987) 5STAR 7:00pm-9:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Predator 2 (1990) Film4 10:45pm-12:55am (2 hours 10 minutes)
A Los Angeles cop, working to bring down the city’s drug gangs, suspects Jamaican criminals when he discovers several of his targets killed and skinned alive. However, the culprit behind the murders reveals himself to be an alien big-game hunter – with the stealth and guile to outwit the police and criminals alike. Sci-fi sequel, starring Danny Glover, Bill Paxton, Gary Busey and Maria Conchita Alonso.

LA Confidential (1997) BBC1 11:20pm-1:30am (2 hours 10 minutes)
Three cops – an ambitious rookie, a hard-boiled veteran and a smooth character more interested in celebrity than justice – investigate a corpse-strewn bloodbath in a diner. However, the ensuing search for the perpetrators reveals a trail of crime and corruption in the police force. Thriller set in 1950s Hollywood, with Russell Crowe, Guy Pearce, Kevin Spacey, James Cromwell, Danny DeVito and an Oscar-winning Kim Basinger.

SUNDAY 26th June

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The Horse Whisperer
(1998) Channel 5 1:45pm-5:00pm (3 hours 15 minutes)
A young girl is left disabled and her horse profoundly traumatised after a horrific road accident. Her distraught mother decides to take them to the remote Montana ranch of an equine healer. As time passes, his therapy and the peace and quiet of the countryside work their magic on their broken spirits. Drama based on Nicholas Evans’ novel, directed by and starring Robert Redford. With Kristin Scott Thomas, Sam Neill, Dianne Wiest and Scarlett Johansson.

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) 3:20pm-5:05pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

One Hundred and One Dalmatians (1961) Channel 4 3:50pm-5:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A fashion-mad woman longs to make a coat out of dalmatian skin, and resorts to kidnapping her friend’s litter of puppies, along with several other dogs. However, the captive pups’ devoted parents come to the rescue, aided by an assortment of other animals. Disney animated adventure based on Dodie Smith’s novel, with the voices of Betty Lou Gerson and Rod Taylor.

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Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) Film4 6:10pm-9:00pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
The war between the shape-shifting robots erupts once again, as the first of the evil Decepticons leads an attack on Earth to locate an ancient planet-destroying machine. Hapless teenager Sam Witwicky is caught in the middle of the ensuing conflict as he holds the key to discovering the location of the device. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox.

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Awakenings (1990) Sony Channel 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A research doctor in a New York psychiatric hospital provokes equal measures of professional interest and suspicion when he appears to have discovered a means of reviving patients who have been trapped in a catatonic state for over 30 years. Fact-based drama, starring Robin Williams, Robert De Niro, Julie Kavner, Penelope Ann Miller, Max von Sydow and Alice Drummond.

Die Hard 2 (1990) Film4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife, but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

Kill Bill: Vol 1 (2003) Sky Atlantic 10:10pm-12:20am (2 hours 10 minutes)
A female assassin wakes from a four-year coma and promptly sets out on a campaign to wipe out her erstwhile colleagues, who tried to kill her at her own wedding – one of whom is now the kingpin of the Tokyo underworld. The first part of Quentin Tarantino’s two-part martial arts thriller, starring Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, Vivica A Fox, Daryl Hannah and David Carradine.

The Sixth Sense (1999) Channel 4 11:20pm-1:15am (1 hour 55 minutes)
A child psychologist, disheartened after the suicide of a former patient, takes on the case of a terrified boy haunted by ghostly apparitions, and tries to help him discover what the spirits want from him. M Night Shyamalan’s supernatural thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Haley Joel Osment, Toni Collette and Olivia Williams.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember to put all of the pieces back in the box after and that a bit of cheese on top can make ANYTHING better.
xoxo

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