Jean Claude Van Damme

Jack Flash! Another retro movie weekend is here… and it’s no ordinary weekend!

With our details at the ready and our clicking fingers primed and limber, we will dive on into cyberspace Black Friday weekend chaos! Snapping up bargains like Pac-Man on a mission, we’ll be darting all over the web with our card in hand ticking off the long list of Christmas 2017. Will we complete our mission and how much will we save? We’ll, that’s between us and Santa’s Elves….

SATURDAY 25th November

.
Jumanji (1995) Sony Movie Channel 11:20am-1:30pm
A man who has been trapped inside a mysterious jungle board game for 26 years is eventually freed when two children start to play it. Unfortunately, he arrives with a rampaging horde of animals on his heels, leaving only one solution – to finish the game he started all those years ago. Fantasy adventure, starring Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst and Bonnie Hunt.

Field of Dreams (1989) Film4 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A farmer hears a mysterious voice inspiring him to mark out a baseball diamond in a cornfield – which, to his surprise, is visited by the ghost of the star player of the 1919 Chicago White Sox team, whose career was cut short by scandal. It later dawns on him the pitch has a greater purpose – to give people who have sacrificed important parts of their lives a second chance. Fantasy, starring Kevin Costner, Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster and James Earl Jones.

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) ITV2 1:25pm-3:10pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) ITV 10:30pm-12:20am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Incarcerated Special Forces veteran John Rambo is offered the chance for freedom by former commander Colonel Trautman if he takes up the offer to return to the jungles of Vietnam on a life-or-death mission to rescue American PoWs. During the course of the operation, he develops strong feelings for his guide, a female freedom fighter – but tragedy strikes, leaving him more determined than ever to exact a bloody and explosive revenge. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Julia Nickson-Soul, Steven Berkoff, George Kee Cheung, Andy Wood and Martin Kove.

Fun fact: The only film in the Rambo series to be nominated for an Oscar.

Full Metal Jacket (1987) ITV4 11:00pm-1:20am
Raw recruits undergo harsh training under a domineering Marine drill sergeant after being called up for service in the Vietnam War, but his brutal methods lead to the breakdown of one of his cadets. Eventually, some of the fully trained soldiers get their first taste of combat in 1968. Stanley Kubrick’s drama, starring Matthew Modine, Adam Baldwin, Vincent D’Onofrio and R Lee Ermey.

SUNDAY 26th November

.
Godzilla (1998) Sony Movie Channel 11:00am-1:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
A giant mutant lizard spawned from an atomic test rampages through the streets of New York, defying the combined might of the US Army and Navy as it searches for a quiet place to hatch its eggs. A bookish radiation expert and a shady French secret agent join forces to defeat the creature. Hollywood remake of the Japanese monster adventure, starring Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Maria Pitillo and Hank Azaria.

Fletch (1985) Film4 3:00pm-5:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A wisecracking reporter and master of disguise is approached by a businessman who claims to be terminally ill and is looking to pay someone to kill him. The journalist discovers the supposedly dying man is in perfect health, and his strange request is part of a complex scam. Comedy mystery based on Gregory Mcdonald’s novel, with Chevy Chase and Tim Matheson.

The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) Film4 5:05pm-6:45pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An embittered Victorian miser hates the festive season and people in general, but on Christmas Eve, the ghosts of his former business partners, the Marley brothers, visit him in the night. They warn him three spirits are coming to make him change his ways by showing him visions of the past, the present and what the future may hold. Comedy, with Michael Caine and Steven Mackintosh alongside the puppet characters.

Miracle on 34th Street (1994) Film4 6:45pm-9:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A woman raises her six-year-old daughter to believe that Santa Claus does not exist, but they both have a change of heart after meeting a department store Father Christmas who claims to be the man himself. When the kindly fellow is accused of being a charlatan, his new friends engage a lawyer to prove his true identity. Remake of the 1947 family drama, with Richard Attenborough, Elizabeth Perkins, Mara Wilson and Dylan McDermott.

Ghostbusters II (1989) E4 8:00pm-10:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Timecop (1994) Spike 9:00pm-11:05pm
A federal agent entrusted with preventing the misuse of time travel sets out to track down a corrupt politician who plans to manipulate history. However, he also faces the temptation to abuse his powers so he can prevent his wife’s death. Sci-fi adventure, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Ron Silver, Bruce McGill and Mia Sara.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, good luck and happy hunting!

Share This!


TruffleShuffle‘s one stop guide to movies on the box this Valentine’s day!

So if all’s gone to plan Casanova has swept you off your feet or Prince Charming has melted your heart to a cheesy fondue like substance! You may have received acres of roses, masses of heart shaped chocolates or you were lucky your bloke remembered and made that last minute dash to the petrol station and got you something meaningful and romantic like a rose scented magic tree for your car (hey I try!)

Or maybe you don’t  believe in  Valentine’s day at all and you’ll ignore everything going on around you because it’s a scam made up by  corporate fat cats and big wigs to get you to waste money on rubbish that’s going to end up in the bin anyway. Whichever category you fall in to I’ll do my best for you if you’re spending Valentine’s night in alone or with your partner.

I’ll start with the two most romantic movies on tonight.

First up a film I’ve not seen (it sounds a bit slushy!) “You’ve got mail” ITV2 7.30pm – two rivals in a bookshop business fall in love over the internet, unaware they know and dislike each other in the real world. With Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks. It’s most likely to be like “Sleepless in Seattle” but then I’ve never seen that either (most definitely slushy!) I can however quote Joey from Friends and say “Meg Ryan get’s mail and stuff”.

On the same channel “The Bodyguard” ITV2 11.00pm – A famous singer subjected to death threats by an obsessive fan is persuaded to hire a former secret service agent as her bodyguard, but neither of them realise the effect they are about to have on each other. Starring Kevin Costner and Whitney Houston. I believe I still own this on VHS somewhere, we’d religiously watch it when we got surround sound for the telly. I also believe this to be the prime choice if you’re having a couple’s night in or just a single lass crying into a bucket of ice cream :-)

So, if you’re spending Valentine’s Solo, male or female I’ve a got a few film choices for you.

First off is “Hard Target” ITV4 9.00pm – A woman searching for her missing father hires an out of work merchant sailor to guide her through the streets of new Orleans where his martial arts skills are greatly tested in a series of encounters with sadistic hunters of human prey. Starring Jean Claude Van Damme. For one, the ladies get to watch Van Damme and two, Van Damme bites the tail off a rattlesnake – what’s not to love about that?

Choice two “Heartbreak ridge” 5USA also 9.00pm – A hell raising US marine sergeant is assigned to whip a squad of recruits into shape for the invasion of Grenada 1983 but his old fashioned hard as nails methods meet with disapproval from superior officers. Starring Clint Eastwood. Probably one my favourite Eastwood movies and my pick if your boycotting Valentine’s day altogether, after all its called Heartbreak Ridge and it has one the best quotes of any movie ever – “my name’s Gunnery Sergeant Highway and I’ve drunk more beer and banged more quiff and pissed more blood and stomped more ass than all you numb nuts put together” – What a classy guy!

If you’re spending Valentine’s with mates and “bro’in it up” then I have a choice for you after all a bromance is a romance between two bros and should be respected.

Lethal weapon 2 TCM 11.25pm – Headstrong cop Martin Riggs and his partner Roger Murtaugh stumble across a plot by South African diplomat to launder drugs money by shipping gold coins into the us. Starring Danny Glover and Mel Gibson. Riggs and Murtaugh share a deep bromance, in my opinion this is the best lethal weapon ever by the shear genius of the exploding toilet scene if your “bro in out” watch this.

There is however one film that should be on tonight but is not, one film that expands the romance to bromance genre I’ve foolishly tried to lay out before you. Perhaps you have it on DVD, VHSor even Betamax if you’re that old! Maybe you could stream it off Netflix or Love film?

My ultimate romantic bromantic pick is Top Gun! Brash young pilot Lt. Pete Mitchell, nicknamed “Maverick” for his individualistic flying style, is sent to Miramar Naval Air Station, where he trains with the country’s best fighter pilots. The best student from each class wins the prized “Top Gun” award, and the privilege of remaining at Miramar as an instructor. Maverick’s chief competition is Tom Kasanzky, nicknamed “Iceman,” and eventually an international incident arises that allows the pilots to prove themselves. This is the ultimate choice for this day so rent, borrow, buy or thief it (well don’t do that, it’s wrong!)

However you decide to celebrate (or not!) have a LOVEly day!

xoxo

Share This!