Lee Evans

Splish, splash… another retro movie weekend is here! Let’s stir up some super sweet retro movie goodness.

Clicking on the kettle like shaking hands with an old and trusted friend, we’ll begin to gather all the essential bits and bobs from all the various locations. Selecting the perfect mug from the bunch, we’ll pluck out our next tea baggy victim, throw in just the right amount of sugar and then begin to fill our mug to the perfect level. Watching the clear liquid quickly turn into a familiar shade of brown with a stir with the spoon, we’ll begin to dream of the tea creation we are so close to complete before we can sit back and enjoy the weekends retro movie wonder.

SATURDAY 23rd September

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Look Who’s Talking Too (1990) Sony Movie Channel 9:00am-10:35am (1 hour 35 minutes)
Wisecracking toddler Mikey is joined by mischievous baby sister Julie and sibling rivalry inevitably erupts – while their parents have problems of their own to deal with, in the shape of the kids’ good-for-nothing uncle. Comedy sequel, starring John Travolta and Kirstie Alley, with the voices of Bruce Willis and Rosanne Barr.

The Rugrats Movie (1999) Film4 11:00am-12:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Tommy tries to return his new brother to the baby shop, helped by Angelica, Chuckie, Phil and Lil – but the friends get lost in dense woodlands en route, turning their expedition into a scary and exciting journey of discovery. Animated comedy based on the TV series, with the voices of Elizabeth Daily, Christine Cavanaugh, Kath Soucie, Whoopi Goldberg and Busta Rhymes.

Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 2:20pm-4:25pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Roald Dahl Merchandise

Babe (1995) ITV2 3:30pm-5:10pm
A kindly farmer wins a cute piglet, which some greedy humans and jealous animals hope will end up as the Christmas roast. Undaunted, the young pig proves himself useful on the farm and enlists the aid of the resident dog in learning how to herd sheep. Family comedy, starring James Cromwell and Magda Szubanski, with Christine Cavanaugh, Miriam Margolyes and Hugo Weaving among those providing the voices of the animal characters.

Jumanji (1995) Sony Movie Channel 4:25pm-6:35pm
A man who has been trapped inside a mysterious jungle board game for 26 years is eventually freed when two children start to play it. Unfortunately, he arrives with a rampaging horde of animals on his heels, leaving only one solution – to finish the game he started all those years ago. Fantasy adventure, starring Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst and Bonnie Hunt.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off (1986) ITV4 4:35pm-6:45pm
A cocky teenager plays truant from school and spends the day dragging his girlfriend and a reluctant friend into all manner of crazy adventures in the big city – while the school’s dean of students vows to stop at nothing to prove the youngster is faking illness. Comedy, starring Matthew Broderick, Mia Sara, Alan Ruck, Jennifer Grey, Jeffrey Jones and Charlie Sheen.

Ferris Bueller’s Day Off Clothing

Airplane II: The Sequel (1982) Film4 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Hapless hero Ted Striker tries to prevent the launch of a passenger space shuttle, certain it will end in disaster. Sadly, his prediction comes true when a computer malfunction sends the spacecraft hurtling toward the sun, while a man driven mad by sexual inadequacy smuggles a bomb on board. Disaster movie spoof sequel, starring Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, Lloyd Bridges, William Shatner, Sonny Bono and Chad Everett.

Airplane! TShirts

Speed (1994) Film4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An LAPD cop discovers a psychopathic criminal has planted a bomb on a crowded bus, primed to go off if the vehicle drops below 50mph. He boards the vehicle and helps the hapless passenger who has been forced to take the wheel to keep a constant speed to avoid a disaster. Action thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Dennis Hopper and Jeff Daniels.

There’s Something About Mary (1998) 5STAR 9:00pm-11:25pm
A lovelorn man hires a sleazy private eye to track down his high-school sweetheart in the hope of rekindling their brief relationship. By unfortunate coincidence, the detective also falls for her, and then it emerges there are even more men out there competing for her affections. Comedy from the Farrelly brothers, starring Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon and Lee Evans.

SUNDAY 24th September

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Hulk
(2003) Channel 4 1:30pm-4:10pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
Scientist Dr Bruce Banner turns into the rampaging green Hulk after exposure to a huge dose of gamma radiation, prompting the military to embark on a no-holds-barred mission to destroy the monster. Meanwhile, Banner’s unstable father resurfaces, holding the secret to his transformation. Comic-book adventure from director Ang Lee, starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott and Nick Nolte.

Superhero Gifts

The Four Musketeers (1974) Film4 3:00pm-5:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The swashbuckling heroes, with young swordsman D’Artagnan promoted to their ranks, are sent to quell an uprising against the king. But the scheming Cardinal Richelieu continues plotting to seize power, while his treacherous partner-in-crime Milady de Winter has revenge in mind. Adventure sequel, starring Oliver Reed, Michael York, Charlton Heston, Faye Dunaway, Christopher Lee, Richard Chamberlain and Frank Finlay.

The Dam Busters (1954) ITV4 3:15pm-5:55pm
The story of the destruction of the major dams in Germany’s industrial heartland in the Ruhr valley in 1943, a mission that seemed impossible until engineer and scientist Barnes Wallis came up with the ingenious idea of bouncing bombs, and the pilots of 617 Squadron were trained to fly the crucial mission. Second World War drama, with Michael Redgrave, Richard Todd, Basil Sydney, Derek Farr and Ursula Jeans.

Fun Fact: The bombs shown in the movie were the wrong shape because the actual shape (a stubby cylinder) was still secret at the time.

Volcano (1997) E4 8:00pm-10:00pm (2 hours)
A river of molten lava spews from an erupting volcano onto the streets of Los Angeles, prompting the head of a crisis agency to team up with an intrepid scientist in a frantic and dangerous bid to save the city’s residents. Disaster thriller, starring Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, Gaby Hoffmann, Keith David and Don Cheadle.

The Rainmaker (1997) Sony Movie Channel 10:00pm-11:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
An idealistic newly qualified lawyer teams up with a disreputable researcher to champion the cause of a leukaemia sufferer whose mother is suing an insurance company for refusing to pay his medical costs. As the case progresses, the young legal eagle finds he has much to learn about the dark side of the judicial process. Francis Ford Coppola’s courtroom drama adapted from the novel by John Grisham, starring Matt Damon, Danny DeVito, Jon Voight, Claire Danes and Mickey Rourke.

Boyz N the Hood (1991) BBC2 11:15pm-1:00am
A bright but underachieving teenager with a domineering single father strikes up a friendship with two brothers, and over time, the three young men each follow their own path – but a tragedy eventually leaves them facing a dangerous choice. Drama, starring Cuba Gooding Jr, Laurence Fishburne, Morris Chestnut and Ice Cube.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget to recycle and always keep your socks dry.

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Thar she blows! It can only be the Weekend!

So like a mid eighteenth century Whaling vessel let us be your sea hardened, weather beaten, bearded captain with a stern but fair persona. As we sail hard heartedly across vast oceans of retro movie mayhem, we’ll peer one eyed through our brass telescope for the elusive humped back of cinematic greatness before we thrust our long and rusty harpoons into the salty meaty flesh of celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 5th APRIL

Crocodile Dundee (1986) Film4 1:00 pm-2:50 pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A New York reporter searches the Australian Outback for a maverick hunter with a legendary reputation, and invites the adventurer back to America. But the die-hard Aussie needs to draw on all his survival skills to adjust to life in the urban jungle. Comedy adventure, written by and starring Paul Hogan, with Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Mark Blum. Edited for daytime broadcast.

Twins (1988) ITV London 12:30 pm-2:30 pm (2 hours )
An unlikely pair of brothers, who were born as the result of a one-off genetic experiment and separated at birth, are reunited in adulthood. They set out on a cross-country search for their unknown mother – fending off vicious loan sharks and a professional assassin along the way. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Kelly Preston and Chloe Webb.

Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986) 5* 3:15 pm-4:55 pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Facing closure from cutbacks in public spending and competition from a more successful academy, the police training school calls on its bungling graduates to act as instructors and make good officers out of a bunch of new recruits even more incompetent than they are. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow and Art Metrano.

There’s Something About Mary (1998) E4 9:00 pm-11:25 pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A lovelorn man hires a sleazy private eye to track down his high-school sweetheart in the hope of rekindling their brief relationship. By unfortunate coincidence, the detective also falls for her, and then it emerges there are even more men out there competing for her affections. Comedy from the Farrelly brothers, starring Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon and Lee Evans.

SUNDAY 6th APRIL

The Jewel of the Nile (1985) Sky2 11:45 am-2:00 pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A novelist travels to the Middle East to become a sheik’s official biographer, only to end up being held hostage by him. Her lover joins forces with an old enemy to rescue her, but they get drawn into the hunt for a mysterious ancient treasure that has a connection to an eccentric holy man. Comedy adventure sequel to Romancing the Stone, starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito

Casper (1995) ITV2 1:30 pm-3:35 pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A paranormal expert moves into a haunted house where his daughter befriends the amiable ghost of a young boy – but things start to go awry when three smelly spooks and two dastardly crooks try to chase the new residents away. Family comedy, starring Christina Ricci, Bill Pullman, Eric Idle, Cathy Moriarty and featuring the voice of Malachi Pearson.

Hairspray (2007) Channel 4 3:25 pm-5:40 pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Musical remake of the comedy about Tracy, an overweight teenager in 1960s Baltimore, who dreams of appearing on a TV dance show. However, a jealous rival and her scheming mother are determined to destroy her ambition – especially when Tracy tries to fight racism in the community. Starring Nikki Blonsky, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, James Marsden, Queen Latifah and John Travolta in drag as the heroine’s mother.

Die Hard 2 (1990) Film4 9:00 pm-11:20 pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

Whatever you get up to this Weekend remember check behind your ears for spuds and all ways enjoy yourselves.

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