Michael J Fox

Run rabbit, run rabbit, run, run, run!It’s time for another super special Retro Movie Rundown Easter Special!

Hopping and leaping our way around the TV schedule, we’ve sniffed out a whole hear of hidden retro movie eggs for you all to feast on this long weekend. Unwrapping each film like our Easter chocolatey goodness, we’ll take stock of our collection, before selecting only the biggest and best choices and devouring them in true ’tis but once a year style’.

Happy retro movie Easter weekend everyone!

FRIDAY 14th April

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The Phantom
(1996) Channel 4 10:00am-11:55am (1 hour 55 minutes)
A jungle-dwelling masked adventurer leaves his African home for New York in a bid to stop the power-crazed schemes of an evil industrialist. The tycoon is on the hunt for three legendary magical skulls, which can be combined to form the ultimate weapon. Superhero adventure, starring Billy Zane, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Treat Williams and Patrick McGoohan.

The Muppet Movie (1979) Film4 11:00am-12:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Kermit the frog is persuaded by his agent that he has a future in movies. He sets off on a journey across America to realise his dream, gathering a crowd of like-minded friends along the way – but the owner of a French restaurant plans to make him the dish of the day. Comedy, starring Dom DeLuise and Charles Durning alongside the puppet characters, with cameos from Mel Brooks, Orson Welles and Steve Martin.

The Muppets TShirts

Labyrinth (1986) 5STAR 11:05am-1:10pm
A teenager wishes her baby brother would be taken away, only to have her request granted by a band of goblins and their sinister king. She regrets her decision and sets out to rescue him, but to reach the castle where he is being held, she must find her way through a magical maze full of strange creatures. Jim Henson’s fantasy adventure, starring Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie.

Labyrinth Clothing

On the Buses (1971) ITV3 11:25am-1:15pm
Wily bus driver Stan Butler thinks a new company policy that allows women behind the wheel will rob him of his precious overtime money. Enlisting the aid of conductor Jack, he does everything he can to sabotage the plan. Comedy, based on the TV series, starring Reg Varney, Bob Grant, Stephen Lewis, Doris Hare, Peter Madden and Anna Karen.

The Great Muppet Caper (1981) Film4 12:55pm-3:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Reporters Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear are sacked for missing out on a massive scoop about the theft of jewellery from famous British fashion designer Lady Holiday. To try to re-establish their reputations, the duo and Gonzo fly to London to see if they can track down the culprit. Comedy, with the voices of Jim Henson and Frank Oz, with cameo appearances by John Cleese, Diana Rigg, Charles Grodin and Peter Ustinov.

The Muppets Merchandise

Jumanji (1995) Sony Channel 2:20pm-4:30pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A man who has been trapped inside a mysterious jungle board game for 26 years is eventually freed when two children start to play it. Unfortunately, he arrives with a rampaging horde of animals on his heels, leaving only one solution – to finish the game he started all those years ago. Fantasy adventure, starring Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst and Bonnie Hunt.

You’ve Got Mail (1998) 5STAR 4:05pm-6:30pm
Two rivals in the bookshop business fall in love over the internet, unaware they know and dislike each other in the real world. While things remain frosty in person, the pair’s anonymous online relationship continues to blossom. Romantic comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey and Dabney Coleman.

Muppet Treasure Island (1996) Film4 4:40pm-6:50pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A youngster finds a treasure map and joins an expedition searching for a famous buccaneer’s lost treasure on an unexplored island. However, their mission falls foul of a band of pirates hiding out among the crew. Musical comedy based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, starring Tim Curry, Billy Connolly, Jennifer Saunders and Kevin Bishop alongside the puppet characters.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) GOLD 7:35pm-9:10pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
An eccentric but brilliant former cop sets himself up to champion the underdog – as a private eye specialising in locating missing animals. The zany detective is called in to find a kidnapped dolphin – the mascot of an American football team – and uncovers a plot involving high-level police corruption. Comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Courteney Cox, Sean Young, Tone Loc and Noble Willingham.

Lethal Weapon 3 (1992) Dave 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Detectives Riggs and Murtaugh team up with a reformed small-time crook and a tough, female internal-affairs investigator to track down a former policeman trafficking impounded weaponry to the bosses of organised crime. Action thriller sequel, starring Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci and Rene Russo.

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) GOLD 9:10pm-11:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

The Deer Hunter (1978) ITV4 11:20pm-1:30am
The lives of three American steelworkers and their families are torn apart in the wake of the Vietnam War. After enduring horrific treatment in a prison camp during the conflict, the three friends return to their homes but struggle to readjust to normal life. Oscar-winning drama, starring Robert De Niro, Christopher Walken, Meryl Streep, John Savage and John Cazale in his last film role.

Anchorman: The Legend of Ron Burgundy (2004) BBC1 11:45pm-1:20am (1 hour 35 minutes)
The chauvinistic host of a top-rated American news programme in 1970s San Diego fights for his status and job security when both are threatened by the arrival of an ambitious female reporter, whose determination to become a newsreader leads to a bitter battle of the sexes. Comedy, starring Will Ferrell, Christina Applegate, Fred Willard and Steve Carell.

SATURDAY 15th April

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The Flintstones
(1994) ITV 11:35am-1:20pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Blue-collar caveman Fred Flintstone is promoted to an executive position at work and unwittingly becomes embroiled in an embezzlement scheme – thanks in no small part to his seductive new assistant. Live-action version of the cartoon comedy, starring John Goodman, Rick Moranis, Rosie O’Donnell, Halle Berry and Elizabeth Taylor.

Matilda (1996) Sony Channel 12:00pm-2:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Roald Dahl Merchandise

Home Alone (1990) Film4 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

Home Alone Merchandise

The Secret of My Success (1987) ITV 1:20pm-3:30pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A naive country boy travels to New York to make his fortune, only to end up working in a corporation’s mail room. He chances on a vacant office and hatches a plan to pass himself off as a top-ranking executive, but leading a double life proves harder than expected. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, Helen Slater, Richard Jordan and Fred Gwynne.

Bean (1997) ITV2 6:45pm-8:30pm
The hapless fool is employed as a security guard for a British art gallery and is sent to Los Angeles to bring back a famous painting. Unfortunately, he finds himself mistaken for a renowned art professor and invited to make an important presentation. Mel Smith’s British comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Burt Reynolds, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Peter Capaldi and June Brown.

Clear and Present Danger (1994) ITV4 9:00pm-11:50pm
A CIA analyst gets caught up in the Colombian drug trade while trying to track down terrorists responsible for the murder of a close friend of the US president – but his investigations point to illegal activity and corruption at the very top of government. Action thriller, based on Tom Clancy’s novel, with Harrison Ford reprising his role from Patriot Games alongside Willem Dafoe, Anne Archer and James Earl Jones.

SUNDAY 16th April

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Thunderball
(1965) ITV 12:00pm-2:35pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
James Bond travels to the Bahamas on the trail of two nuclear warheads stolen from a British aircraft. The lethal weapons have fallen into the hands of international crime syndicate Spectre, which plans to fire them at the US coast unless an exorbitant ransom is paid. Spy adventure, starring Sean Connery, Claudine Auger, Adolfo Celi and Lois Maxwell.

James Bond TShirts

Cool Runnings (1993) BBC1 2:15pm-3:50pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
A sprinter fails to qualify for the Jamaican Olympic squad, but refuses to give up his dream. Learning that a former US bobsleigh coach is living nearby, he seizes the chance to shine in an entirely different sport, and cajoles three of his friends to join him in training for the 1988 Winter Olympics in the far less tropical environment of Canada. Fact-based comedy, with John Candy, Leon, Doug E Doug and Malik Yoba.

Oliver! (1968) Channel 5 5:20pm-8:00pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
Oscar-winning musical version of the stage play based on Charles Dickens’ classic tale about a lonely workhouse orphan who ends up on the cold streets of London, where he falls under the wing of petty crook Fagin and his gang of young backstreet thieves. Featuring the iconic songs Food, Glorious Food, Consider Yourself, As Long as He Needs Me and You’ve Got to Pick a Pocket or Two. Starring Ron Moody, Mark Lester, Oliver Reed, Jack Wild, Harry Secombe, Shani Wallis and Leonard Rossiter.

Mission: Impossible 2 (2000) Film4 6:35pm-9:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Secret agent Ethan Hunt sent to find and destroy the only sample of a deadly man-made virus. However, he faces tough opposition in a former spy-turned-criminal mastermind who has already acquired the cure and now wants the pathogen itself. Director John Woo’s action thriller sequel, starring Tom Cruise, Dougray Scott, Thandie Newton and Anthony Hopkins.

Apocalypse Now (1979) Spike 9:00pm-12:00am (3 hours)
An army captain is sent on a top-secret mission into Cambodia, where his goal is to find and assassinate a renegade colonel who has gone insane and is worshipped by his followers as a god. However, as his patrol boat journeys further upriver, the conflict and disarray surrounding him becomes increasingly disturbing and nightmarish. Francis Ford Coppola’s Vietnam War drama, starring Martin Sheen, Marlon Brando and Robert Duvall.

The Dirty Dozen (1967) ITV4 9:05pm-12:10am
An uncompromising major is placed in charge of a seemingly suicidal mission to destroy a French chateau being used as a base by Nazi officers. Needing tough but expendable soldiers for the task, he recruits 12 hardened criminals from a military prison. Second World War action adventure, starring Lee Marvin, Telly Savalas, Ernest Borgnine, Charles Bronson and Donald Sutherland.

MONDAY 17th April

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Kingpin
(1996) Channel 4 1:00am-3:00am (2 hours)
A former 10-pin bowling champion prodigy turns conman and hits the bottle when an accident leads to the loss of his hand. To revive his flagging fortunes, he goes all out to persuade a gifted Amish man to take up the sport professionally so he can cash in on his prize-winnings. Comedy from the Farrelly brothers, starring Woody Harrelson, Randy Quaid, Vanessa Angel and Bill Murray.

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989) Film4 11:00am-12:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A professor invents a ray with the power to reduce objects in size. Unfortunately, his kids and their meddling friends activate it and are shrunk to microscopic proportions. When they are accidentally thrown out with the rubbish, the children have to contend with all kinds of animals and insects on their journey home across the backyard. Disney comedy, with Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman and Amy O’Neill.

Patch Adams (1998) Sony Channel 1:15pm-3:45pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
A talented student doctor turns the medical community upside down with his offbeat views about the healing power of laughter. His methods provoke outrage and intense debate among his professors – but his extrovert nature brightens the lives of all kinds of patients. Comedy drama, starring Robin Williams, Monica Potter, Daniel London, Bob Gunton and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Coming to America (1988) GOLD 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A bored African prince defies his father’s plans for an arranged marriage and escapes to the USA to find a bride on his own terms. Comedy, starring Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in several roles, with James Earl Jones, Allison Dean, Eriq La Salle and Madge Sinclair.

Whatever you’re up to this loooong weekend, happy hunting and have a barrel full of fun!

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Smoking tyre! It’s really another retro weekend?! So soon! Well….if you’re sure.

Like a small and nimble mountain goat (…bear with us), we find ourselves clambering up the great retro movie cliff face on our tiny but perfectly designed hooves in search of only the greatest and tastiest retro classics. We’ll hop and skip our way up and along even the most precarious of footings as we use our skill and steadfastness to pluck out some of the best and most-loved retro movie scenes for all to see.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 4th June

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Mannequin
(1987) 5STAR 12:20pm-2:10pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A struggling artist gets a job as a window dresser for a department store, only to discover one of his dummies is a reincarnated Egyptian princess who comes to life at night. As he falls for the living doll, she inspires him to transform the shop’s display and make it the most spectacular in town. Fantasy comedy, starring Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall.

The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000) ITV2 1:10pm-2:10pm (1 hour) 2 parts
Young courting couples Fred and Wilma, and Barney and Betty are invited to stay at a luxury casino in the Stone Age gambling capital. Owner Chip Rockefeller is bent on stopping Fred proposing to wealthy Wilma, because he wants to marry her himself for the money and settle his debts. Family comedy prequel, with Mark Addy, Stephen Baldwin, Joan Collins, Alan Cumming, Kristen Johnston and Jane Krakowski.

Blue Streak (1999) 5STAR 2:10pm-4:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A convicted jewel thief is released from prison, and sets about recovering his hidden loot – only to discover a police station has since been built where he left it. Undeterred, he poses as a maverick cop and worms his way into the detective division – little realising his problems have only just begun. Comedy, starring Martin Lawrence, Luke Wilson and Peter Greene.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 4:45pm-5:45pm (1 hour) 2 parts
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minions TShirts

Alice in Wonderland (2010) BBC2 8:30pm-10:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A 19-year-old Alice returns to the magical land, having forgotten her previous adventures. She finds the tyrannical Red Queen has begun a reign of terror that can only be ended by slaying the monstrous Jabberwocky – a task she is seemingly destined to attempt. Tim Burton’s fantasy adventure based on Lewis Carroll’s novels, starring Mia Wasikowska, Johnny Depp, Helena Bonham Carter and Anne Hathaway.

Alice in Wonderland Merchandise

Predator (1987) E4 9:00pm-11:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
An elite military team takes on a top-secret mission in the jungles of Central America, but the soldiers realise they have been deceived by their CIA employers. A greater danger presents itself when they are stalked by a lethal alien big-game hunter with the power to become invisible, that has come to Earth to stalk human prey. Sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers and Bill Duke.

Die Hard with a Vengeance (1995) BBC1 10:45pm-12:45am (2 hours)
New York cop John McClane returns to duty following an explosion at a department store in the city. The perpetrator contacts the police and tells them that unless McClane and an unfortunate bystander who was in the wrong place at the wrong time carry out a series of instructions to the letter, more bombs will be detonated. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Samuel L Jackson and Jeremy Irons.

SUNDAY 5th June

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Doc Hollywood
(1991) ITV3 7:55am-8:55am (1 hour) 2 parts
An arrogant doctor on his way to California causes an accident in a rural South Carolina town and is sentenced to community service at the local hospital. Initially desperate to leave, he gradually comes to appreciate a slower pace of life. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, Julie Warner, Woody Harrelson, Bridget Fonda and George Hamilton.

See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) Channel 5 12:00pm-1:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A blind man and his deaf friend go on the run to clear themselves of a trumped-up murder charge. However, all kinds of oddball characters are on their trail, determined to get hold of a top-secret microchip that the duo do not realise they have. Comedy, starring Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder, Kevin Spacey, Joan Severance, Alan North and Anthony Zerbe.

Beethoven (1992) ITV2 1:05pm-2:05pm (1 hour) 2 parts
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.

Spies Like Us (1985) Channel 5 1:50pm-3:45pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Two incompetent US State Department officials are unwittingly used as decoys on a deadly mission to thwart Soviet activity in Pakistan. Unfortunately, their involvement in such a delicate operation brings the world to the brink of nuclear war. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Forrest, Bruce Davison and Donna Dixon.

Wayne’s World (1992) Channel 5 3:45pm-5:35pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Two heavy-metal fans broadcast an amateur TV programme from their basement. A slimy network executive offers them the chance to turn professional, but as they enjoy the perks of wealth and fame, they find their show being ruined by corporate interference. Comedy, starring Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Rob Lowe, Tia Carrere and Lara Flynn Boyle, with a cameo by Alice Cooper.

Addams Family Values (1993) Film4 4:50pm-6:35pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Spooky couple Gomez and Morticia hire a nanny to look after their new baby son – and stop him suffering an early death at the hands of his jealous elder siblings. Romance soon blossoms between the new childminder and Uncle Fester, but he does not realise she is planning to kill him once she has got hold of the family fortune. Comedy sequel, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci and Joan Cusack.

The Jungle Book (1967) Channel 4 5:05pm-6:35pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
A boy is raised by animals in the jungle, leading a carefree life with his friends, a laidback bear and a wise panther. The return of a ferocious tiger who hates humans places the youngster’s life in danger, and his friends must persuade him to return to the safety of his own people. Disney animated adventure based on Rudyard Kipling’s stories, with the voices of Phil Harris and George Sanders.

The Jungle Book Merchandise

Mission: Impossible 2 (2000) Film4 6:35pm-9:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Secret agent Ethan Hunt sent to find and destroy the only sample of a deadly man-made virus. However, he faces tough opposition in a former spy-turned-criminal mastermind who has already acquired the cure and now wants the pathogen itself. Director John Woo’s action thriller sequel, starring Tom Cruise, Dougray Scott, Thandie Newton and Anthony Hopkins.

Zoolander (2001) Dave 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Dim male model Derek Zoolander is stunned to find his career going downhill thanks to the arrival of an equally vacuous rival – but fails to realise he is merely a pawn in a dangerous game of international espionage and world domination. Comedy, starring Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Milla Jovovich, Christine Taylor and David Duchovny.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend,don’t forget the washing up and remember to always check both ways first.

xoxo

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Mop our brow and pour us a drink! It’s only another sunny retro movie weekend!

Like an over excited weekender heading to the nearest beach , we find ourselves faced with another few days of adventure, comedy and perhaps a bit or romance as we set up base in the sand for another retro movie extravaganza! With sandy sandwiches and our trusty bucket and spade, we’ll wind away the sunny afternoon with the gentle breeze and sound of the crashing waves. With more layers of sun cream on than there are layers on a gob stopper, we’ll soak up some Sun before dashing the the ice cream van to grab more treats than we know we probably should. Good times.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 28th May

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Murder on the Orient Express (1974) ITV 1:15pm-3:50pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
An American businessman travelling on the Orient Express from Istanbul to Paris tries to hire Hercule Poirot to discover the source of the death threats that have been made against him. The sleuth refuses, but wakes up the following morning to learn the man has been stabbed to death while the train was held up by heavy snow – and there is no shortage of suspects among the passengers. Agatha Christie mystery,

Short Circuit 2 (1988) Sony Channel 2:30pm-4:45pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Manic mechanoid Johnny Five meets an old friend in New York City and embarks on a fact-finding tour – but ends up entangled in a series of escapades culminating in a bank robbery. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean, Cynthia Gibb and Jack Weston, with the voice of Tim Blaney.

Mannequin (1987) 5STAR 3:10pm-5:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A struggling artist gets a job as a window dresser for a department store, only to discover one of his dummies is a reincarnated Egyptian princess who comes to life at night. As he falls for the living doll, she inspires him to transform the shop’s display and make it the most spectacular in town. Fantasy comedy, starring Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall.

Fun Fact: Director Michael Gottlieb got the idea for this film when he was walking by a store window and was startled to “see” a mannequin move by itself. He realized it was just an optical illusion caused by a combination of lights and shadows, but began to wonder what would happen if a mannequin actually DID come to life.

Uncle Buck (1989) ITV2 3:20pm-4:20pm (1 hour) 2 parts
An unreliable but good-natured slob is called upon to look after his trouble-making nephew and nieces while their parents are away – and what starts as a disaster soon changes for the better as the unlikely babysitter gets to grips with the finer points of being a responsible adult. Family comedy, starring John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Kelly, Gaby Hoffman, Amy Madigan and Laurie Metcalf.

Sister Act (1992) Film4 4:50pm-6:50pm (2 hours)
Nightclub singer Deloris Van Cartier agrees to testify against her gangster boyfriend after witnessing a murder. Placed in protective custody by the authorities, she is less than pleased to discover she is expected to pose as chaste nun Sister Mary Clarence in a convent. Comedy, starring Whoopi Goldberg, Harvey Keitel, Maggie Smith, Bill Nunn and Kathy Najimy.

The Animal (2001) Comedy Central 6:05pm-7:40pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
A man dreams of becoming a police officer, but thinks his chance is lost after a car accident leaves him critically injured. That is, until a deranged scientist offers to rebuild him with the body parts and organs of various animals, making his physique better than ever before. All seems well, until some beastly traits begin to emerge. Comedy, with Rob Schneider, Edward Asner and Colleen Haskell.

Hulk (2003) ITV 7:15pm-8:25pm (1 hour 10 minutes)
Scientist Dr Bruce Banner turns into the rampaging green Hulk after exposure to a huge dose of gamma radiation, prompting the military to embark on a no-holds-barred mission to destroy the monster. Meanwhile, Banner’s unstable father resurfaces, holding the secret to his transformation. Comic-strip adventure from director Ang Lee, starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott and Nick Nolte.

Hulk Merchandise

The Prestige (2006) BBC2 11:00pm-1:00am (2 hours)
Victorian stage illusionists Robert Angier and Alfred Borden engage in a bitter personal and professional rivalry. The pair resort to increasingly brutal measures to sabotage each other’s acts, while Angier becomes obsessed with the secret behind Borden’s greatest illusion. Christopher Nolan’s mystery thriller, starring Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Piper Perabo and Scarlett Johansson, with David Bowie as real-life scientific pioneer Nikola Tesla.

End of Days (1999) Channel 4 11:10pm-1:30am (2 hours 20 minutes)
A world-weary former police officer encounters the Devil himself on New Year’s Eve 1999, and is spurred into action to stop the Prince of Darkness exploiting an innocent woman to bring about Armageddon. Supernatural thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gabriel Byrne, Robin Tunney, Rod Steiger, Kevin Pollak, CCH Pounder and Miriam Margolyes.

SUNDAY 29th May

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Beethoven (1992) ITV2 1:50pm-2:50pm (1 hour) 2 parts
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.

Doc Hollywood (1991) ITV3 4:30pm-5:40pm (1 hour 10 minutes)
An arrogant doctor on his way to California causes an accident in a rural South Carolina town and is sentenced to community service at the local hospital. Initially desperate to leave, he gradually comes to appreciate a slower pace of life. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, Julie Warner, Woody Harrelson, Bridget Fonda and George Hamilton.

Fun Fact: At one point Hank Gordon says, “I don’t trust a man who doesn’t eat meat.” In real life, Woody Harrelson is a vegan.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 5:20pm-6:20pm (1 hour) 2 parts
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Despicable Me Merchandise

Big (1988) Film4 4:50pm-6:55pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Field of Dreams (1989) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A farmer hears a mysterious voice inspiring him to mark out a baseball diamond in a cornfield – which, to his surprise, is visited by the ghost of the star player of the 1919 Chicago White Sox team, whose career was cut short by scandal. It later dawns on him the pitch has a greater purpose – to give people who have sacrificed important parts of their lives a second chance. Fantasy, starring Kevin Costner, Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster and James Earl Jones.

Police Academy (1984) ITV4 9:00pm-10:00pm (1 hour) 2 parts
An American police college lowers its entrance requirements in the hope of attracting new recruits, and in response, assorted dubious candidates turn up for enrolment. A short-tempered instructor is determined to weed out the bad apples, but a riot provides the clueless cops with a chance to prove their worth. Comedy, starring Steve Guttenberg, Kim Cattrall, Bubba Smith and GW Bailey.

Good Will Hunting (1997) ITV3 10:05pm-11:10pm (1 hour 5 minutes) 2 parts
A troubled maths genius refuses to use his gift, preferring to work as a janitor and lead a normal life with his friends. Eventually, a university professor persuades him to see a psychologist, who befriends him and proves the only person able to help him come to terms with his talent and past traumas. Drama, written by and starring Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, who won Oscars for their screenplay. With Robin Williams, Minnie Driver and Stellan Skarsgard.

Whatever you’re up to this long retro weekend, make sure you have an outside towel and an inside towel and don’t forget to bring enough socks. Matching optional.
xoxo

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Slap my thigh and shiver me timbers! It’s another retro movie filled weekend!

Like a very keen and mildly experienced racer, we find ourselves faced with a a packed grid in which to take on. We’ll rev up the car and our adrenaline as we speed our way round the twist and turns of the track hunting down our next victim to overtake. Ticking off places like movies in our weekend, we’ll use cunning and tactics to manoeuvre our way through the weekend as we gain a sense of victory with every pass. Taking poll position, we’ll stand proud on the podium gazing back at the weekend that was.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 21st May

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The Dark Crystal
(1982) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

The Likely Lads (1976) GOLD 12:35pm-2:25pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Bob and Thelma embark on a chaotic caravan holiday – with best pal Terry and a glamorous Scandinavian au pair in tow, ensuring that nothing will go according to plan. Comedy based on the TV series, starring James Bolam, Rodney Bewes, Brigit Forsyth and Mary Tamm.

Hulk (2003) ITV 2:20pm-4:55pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
Scientist Dr Bruce Banner turns into the rampaging green Hulk after exposure to a huge dose of gamma radiation, prompting the military to embark on a no-holds-barred mission to destroy the monster. Meanwhile, Banner’s unstable father resurfaces, holding the secret to his transformation. Comic-strip adventure from director Ang Lee, starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott and Nick Nolte.

Hulk Merchandise

Back to the Future (1985) ITV2 5:05pm-6:05pm (1 hour) 2 part
Teenager Marty McFly travels back to the 1950s in a time machine built by his eccentric inventor friend. The return journey proves tricky enough, but he also accidentally alters the sequence of events that led to his parents falling in love – and has to persuade his future dad to win his mother’s heart, or he will never be born. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson and Crispin Glover.

Back to the Future TShirts

Tootsie (1982) Film4 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A New York actor’s difficult reputation has rendered him unemployable. When a TV soap advertises a new female role, he disguises himself as a woman for the audition – and wins the part. But the character proves so popular, he is forced to keep up the pretence indefinitely. Comedy, starring Dustin Hoffman, Jessica Lange and Bill Murray. Directed by Sydney Pollack, who makes a cameo appearance as Hoffman’s agent.

Casino Royale (1967) 7:00pm-8:10pm (1 hour 10 minutes) 2 part
Ageing spy James Bond comes out of retirement to tackle a mysterious mastermind who wants to take over the world. Meanwhile, another agent disguises himself as Bond to face the evil genius over the baccarat table. Spoof spy adventure, starring David Niven, Peter Sellers, Woody Allen, Orson Welles, Deborah Kerr and Ursula Andress.

James Bond Merchandise

Uncle Buck (1989) ITV2 7:20pm-8:20pm (1 hour) 2 part
An unreliable but good-natured slob is called upon to look after his trouble-making nephew and nieces while their parents are away – and what starts as a disaster soon changes for the better as the unlikely babysitter gets to grips with the finer points of being a responsible adult. Family comedy, starring John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Kelly, Gaby Hoffman, Amy Madigan and Laurie Metcalf.

SUNDAY 22nd May

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A Little Princess
(1995) ITV2 1:00pm-2:05pm (1 hour 5 minutes)
A wealthy English girl is sent to an austere New York boarding school, where she charms the other youngsters with her stories of life in India – until her father goes missing in action, leaving her destitute and in the hands of the wicked headmistress. Drama based on Frances Hodgson Burnett’s classic novel, with Eleanor Bron, Liesel Matthews and Liam Cunningham.

Mars Attacks! (1996) Comedy Central 2:00pm-4:00pm (2 hours)
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

Evolution (2001) Channel 4 2:30pm-4:30pm (2 hours)
Two science teachers investigate a mysterious meteor and discover it is oozing a strange fluid containing millions of minuscule but rapidly evolving organisms – which start to turn into terrifying alien monsters with a taste for human flesh. Sci-fi comedy, starring David Duchovny, Orlando Jones, Julianne Moore, Seann William Scott, Dan Aykroyd and Ted Levine.

Ghost (1990) More4 9:00pm-11:35pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
The spirit of a murdered executive tries to find a way to help his girlfriend bring his killer to justice and enlists the aid of a fraudulent medium – who is amazed and baffled when her psychic powers turn out to be all too real. Romantic fantasy, starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Tony Goldwyn and an Oscar-winning Whoopi Goldberg.

Starsky & Hutch (2004) Comedy Central 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
Two mismatched detectives are forced to work together for the first time to track down a crime kingpin who has introduced a new, undetectable narcotic to the streets – but they struggle to get along. Comedy spoofing the 1970s cop show, starring Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Snoop Dogg, Vince Vaughn and Juliette Lewis.

Raw Deal (1986) ITV4 10:00pm-11:00pm (1 hour) 2 part
An FBI agent is discharged for insubordination after assaulting a suspect, and ends up reduced to being the sheriff of a backwater Southern town. He is later offered his old job back – on the condition he will infiltrate a gang of Chicago mobsters and bring their leader to justice for killing the son of the Bureau’s chief. Action thriller, with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sam Wanamaker, Kathryn Harrold, Ed Lauter and Darren McGavin.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always keep your legs and arms inside the kart and remember to take the original out of the copier.

xoxo

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Chilli and rice! It’s another extra long retro movie filled weekend?! Well….if we must!

So like one of the most talented and determined ice sculptors in the land, we find ourselves faced with a big block pure and clean ice acting as our blank canvas. With our mind racing with the possibilities, we’ll begin to chip and chisel away at the super cooled goodness as we create one of our finest pieces. We’ll rub and scrape our work into everything we imagined fully in the knowledge of it’s impending doom. While it might melt and disappear in front of our eyes like each and every retro movie weekend, what will remain are the memories and experience of what once was. So how will you shape your ice?

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 30th April

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Scott of the Antarctic
(1948) BBC2 7:40am-9:30am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Fact-based drama following explorer Robert Falcon Scott’s failed expedition to be the first to reach the South Pole. The extreme conditions, poor decision-making and the pressure of the race to make it to the Pole before their Norwegian rivals proved too much for the British team, resulting in tragedy in 1912. Starring John Mills, Derek Bond, James Robertson Justice, Kenneth More and John Gregson.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) ITV3 1:30pm-2:30pm (1 hour)
An eccentric confectionery king announces that five children will be given a tour of his wondrous factory. The winners turn out to be a kind-hearted boy from a penniless family and four obnoxious brats, who face a terrible fate when they misbehave. Musical fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s classic book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum and Roy Kinnear.

Short Circuit 2 (1988) Sony Channel 2:00pm-4:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Manic mechanoid Johnny Five meets an old friend in New York City and embarks on a fact-finding tour – but ends up entangled in a series of escapades culminating in a bank robbery. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean, Cynthia Gibb and Jack Weston, with the voice of Tim Blaney.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977) ITV 2:40pm-4:25pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.

Fun Fact: This 70s classic was the second highest grossing movie released in 1977, loosing out on the top spot to Star Wars.

The Flintstones (1994) ITV2 3:35pm-4:45pm (1 hour 10 minutes)
Blue-collar caveman Fred Flintstone is promoted to an executive position at work and unwittingly becomes embroiled in an embezzlement scheme – thanks in no small part to his seductive new assistant. Live-action version of the cartoon comedy, starring John Goodman, Rick Moranis, Rosie O’Donnell, Halle Berry and Elizabeth Taylor.

Liar Liar (1997) ITV2 5:20pm-6:25pm (1 hour 5 minutes)
A lawyer, whose underhand ploys to win cases leave him little time to see his son, discovers he is incapable of lying after the boy’s birthday wish makes his dad tell only the truth. However, this causes a host of problems as the attorney tries to muddle his way through a high-profile divorce settlement. Comedy, with Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Jennifer Tilly and Cary Elwes.

The Fifth Element (1997) 5STAR 5:30pm-8:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman.

K-9 (1989) Syfy 5:10pm-7:20pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A hard-bitten cop’s bad attitude forces his superiors to take desperate measures to find him a new partner on the eve of what could turn out to be the biggest case of his career – and the solution is to pair him up with a lovable Alsatian that will put him through his paces. Comedy, starring James Belushi, Mel Harris and Ed O’Neill.

Pulp Fiction (1994) Dave 10:00pm-1:00am (3 hours)
A series of interlinked stories about the Los Angeles underworld. A hitman plays minder to his boss’s wife, and he and his partner deal with a dead body following a mishap with a gun. Meanwhile, a washed-up boxer goes on the run after refusing to throw a fight, and two lovers plot a hold-up in a diner. Quentin Tarantino’s crime drama, starring John Travolta, Samuel L Jackson, Uma Thurman, Bruce Willis, Ving Rhames, Tim Roth and Amanda Plummer.

You Only Live Twice (1967) ITV4 10:15pm-11:25pm (1 hour 10 minutes)
James Bond is sent on a mission to uncover the truth behind the disappearances of Soviet and American space capsules before the mutually suspicious superpowers go to war. The trail leads to Japan, where Bond finally comes face to face with his arch-enemy Blofeld. Spy thriller, starring Sean Connery, Donald Pleasence, Akiko Wakabayashi and Bernard Lee.

Fast & Furious (2009) ITV 10:15pm-12:10am (1 hour 55 minutes)
News of a friend’s murder brings international fugitive Dominic Toretto back to his home city of Los Angeles in search of revenge. It is not long before his pursuit leads him to cross paths with FBI agent Brian O’Conner, and despite their hostile feelings toward each other, the pair work together to bring down those responsible. Thriller sequel, starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster.

SUNDAY 1st May

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The Great St Trinian’s Train Robbery
(1966) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A crook and his cronies stash the money from a train heist in a deserted old mansion, planning to recover it in good time. However, several years later, when the thieves arrive to collect their loot, they discover the building has been turned into a school for girls where the pupils have become infamous for their escapades. Comedy, starring Frankie Howerd, Dora Bryan, Reg Varney and George Cole.

The Secret of My Success (1987) ITV3 4:15pm-5:15pm (1 hour)
A naive country boy travels to New York to make his fortune, only to end up working in a corporation’s mail room. He chances on a vacant office and hatches a plan to pass himself off as a top-ranking executive, but leading a double life proves harder than expected. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, Helen Slater, Richard Jordan and Fred Gwynne.

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991) 5STAR 4:50pm-7:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Captain Kirk is framed for the assassination of the Klingon head of state just as the Federation is about to make peace with their old enemies. As Kirk and Dr McCoy are banished to an icy prison planet, Spock tries to uncover the identity of the real killers. Sci-fi adventure sequel, with William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, Christopher Plummer, with appearances by Christian Slater and Michael Dorn from Star Trek: The Next Generation.

School of Rock (2003) Film4 6:45pm-9:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A slobbish guitarist dreams of stardom, but his hopes are dashed when the other members of his band kick him out. Struggling to make ends meet, he takes a job as a supply teacher at an exclusive private school, and sets about moulding his pupils into rock gods. Comedy from director Richard Linklater, starring Jack Black, Joan Cusack, Mike White and Sarah Silverman.

Mercury Rising (1998) ITV4 9:00pm-10:00pm (1 hour)
A top-secret government agency has developed a seemingly unbreakable code – only for an autistic boy to crack it in an instant. Assassins succeed in gunning down his parents, but a maverick FBI agent investigating their deaths finds the child hiding in a closet, and resolves to shield him from the hitmen on his trail. Thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alec Baldwin and Miko Hughes.

Skyfall (2012) ITV2 9:10pm-10:55pm (1 hour 45 minutes) – Not retro but well worth a watch!
James Bond pursues a mysterious criminal mastermind who has orchestrated a terrorist attack on MI6 headquarters and exposed the identities of undercover agents around the world. The trail leads to a rogue former operative who has a personal vendetta against the intelligence organisation’s leader. Action thriller, starring Daniel Craig, Javier Bardem, Judi Dench and Ralph Fiennes.

Men in Black (1997) GOLD 9:30pm-11:20pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.

MONDAY 2nd May

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The Parent Trap
(1961) Film4 11:00am-1:50pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
When twins sisters meet for the first time at summer camp, they decide it is high time their estranged parents got back together again, and hatch an ingenious plan to reunite them by swapping places with each other. Disney comedy, starring Hayley Mills in a dual role as both sisters, alongside Maureen O’Hara, Brian Keith and Leo G Carroll.

Camelot (1967) BBC2 10:25am-1:15pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
King Arthur is happily married to Queen Guenevere, but the arrival of handsome knight Sir Lancelot leads to infidelity and betrayal. For a time, the king refuses to believe his wife is having an affair, but the lovers are betrayed by Arthur’s son, the conniving Mordred. Oscar-winning musical based on the Arthurian legend, starring Richard Harris, Vanessa Redgrave, Franco Nero, David Hemmings and Lionel Jeffries.

The Dam Busters (1954) ITV4 4:30pm-5:30pm (1 hour)
The story of the destruction of the major dams in Germany’s industrial heartland in the Ruhr valley in 1943, a mission that seemed impossible until engineer and scientist Barnes Wallis came up with the ingenious idea of bouncing bombs, and the pilots of 617 Squadron were trained to fly the crucial mission. Second World War drama, with Michael Redgrave, Richard Todd, Basil Sydney, Derek Farr and Ursula Jeans.

Fun Fact: The bombs shown in the movie were the wrong shape because the actual shape (a stubby cylinder) was still secret at the time.

Smokey and the Bandit II (1980) Dave 4:55pm-7:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The maverick haulier must overcome a crisis of confidence when he and his friends are hired to transport a pregnant elephant to Texas, a mammoth task that proves far from easy, especially with their old enemy in hot pursuit. Road comedy, with Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Dom DeLuise and Sally Field.

Iron Man (2008) Film4 6:25pm-9:00pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
Arms manufacturer Tony Stark is taken hostage by a terrorist group and realises the weapons his company build have been falling into the wrong hands. Using his engineering skills to construct a hi-tech armoured suit, he manages to escape and then puts the technology to good use in the fight against evil around the world. Superhero adventure, starring Robert Downey Jr, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow and Terrence Howard.

The Incredible Hulk (2008) Syfy 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A bungled experiment causes a scientist to turn into a monster whenever he gets angry. He travels the world seeking a cure for his condition, while a ruthless general is determined to capture him and use the creature as a weapon. However, one of the soldiers under the officer’s command undergoes a terrifying transformation of his own. Comic-book adventure, starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth and William Hurt.

Nighthawks (1981) ITV4 9:00pm-10:00pm (1 hour)
Two tough cops are assigned to track down a ruthless terrorist on the streets of New York before he carries out his threat to blow up the UN building – and from randomly picking off innocent citizens as the pressure builds. Action adventure, starring Sylvester Stallone, Billy Dee Williams, Rutger Hauer, Lindsay Wagner, Nigel Davenport and Persis Khambatta.

Iron Man 2 (2010) Film4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Tycoon-turned-superhero Tony Stark confronts a fearsome new foe in a Russian scientist using his own deadly hi-tech weapons to seek revenge. He also faces a struggle to keep his secrets out of the hands of both the government and an amoral rival, and discovers the armour he developed to fight evil is slowly killing him. Action adventure sequel, with Robert Downey Jr, Mickey Rourke and Don Cheadle.

Air Force One (1997) 5STAR 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
The American president is forced to take drastic measures to save his family when their plane is hijacked by Russian terrorists demanding the release of a jailed radical general. Meanwhile, the vice president tries to manage the crisis from Washington and has to decide whether to shoot the aircraft down. Action thriller, starring Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman, Glenn Close, Dean Stockwell and William H Macy. Includes Access at 10pm.

Tomorrow Never Dies (1997) ITV 11:00pm-1:10am (2 hours 10 minutes)
James Bond joins forces with a Chinese agent to foil a media mogul’s scheme to start a war between their countries. Using an undetectable stealth ship, the press baron plans an attack on both nations’ navies, knowing they will blame each other – giving him exclusive global media coverage of the resulting conflict. Spy adventure, starring Pierce Brosnan, Jonathan Pryce, Teri Hatcher and Michelle Yeoh.

Whatever you’re up to this bank holiday weekend, always remember to prepare for the worst and hope for the best. And bring a charger….

xoxo

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Man overboard! It’s only gone and been the weekend again!

Searching high and low for any available materials like a stranded island dweller, we find ourselves thinking up and creating one of the most seaworthy rafts our eyes have ever seen. Complete with mast, sails, figurehead and all strapped down to take on even the toughest of seas, we’ll set sail this weekend into the weird and wonderful world of some of the most iconic retro movies ever to be seen and will drop anchor at only the finest showings as we sit back to enjoy some of the best celluloid wonder from the 80s, 90s and 00s.

Have a happy retro weekend.

SATURDAY 4th JUNE

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Chitty Chitty Bang Bang
(1968) Channel 5 3:25pm-6:10pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
Eccentric inventor Caractacus Potts rescues an old car from the scrapheap, only to discover it has magical, gravity-defying powers. Meanwhile, Baron Bomburst, the blundering ruler of Vulgaria, will do anything to get his greedy hands on it. Children’s musical adventure, based on the book by Ian Fleming, starring Dick Van Dyke, Lionel Jeffries, Sally Ann Howes, Gert Frobe, Benny Hill and James Robertson Justice.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 5:05pm-7:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minions T-Shirts

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) ITV London 7:00pm-10:00pm (3 hours)
The young wizard is given the task of uncovering the secrets of Lord Voldemort’s past as the evil sorcerer’s henchmen cause havoc in both the magical and Muggle worlds. With the help of headmaster Dumbledore, Harry ventures into the memories of those who knew the Dark Lord during his early years, hoping to gain an insight into the secret behind his apparent immortality. However, Voldemort’s influence extends closer to home than expected, as Harry’s rival Malfoy is chosen to carry out a sinister mission. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Michael Gambon, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Tom Felton and Alan Rickman.

Harry Potter T-Shirts

Diamonds Are Forever (1971) ITV4 8:00pm-10:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
James Bond investigates a diamond-smuggling operation, and discovers that behind the scheme is his insidious arch-enemy Blofeld, who is planning to construct a devastating orbital doomsday weapon powered by the precious stones, which will force world powers to disarm and give him global domination. Spy adventure, starring Sean Connery, Jill St John, Charles Gray, Bernard Lee and Lois Maxwell.

Patriot Games (1992) Film4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Former CIA agent Jack Ryan foils an assassination attempt by an IRA splinter group, killing one of the terrorists in the process. However, he becomes caught in a lethal game of cat-and-mouse with the dead man’s revenge-seeking brother. Thriller based on Tom Clancy’s novel, starring Harrison Ford, Sean Bean, Samuel L Jackson, Richard Harris and James Earl Jones, reprising his role from earlier Clancy adaptation The Hunt for Red October.

Fun Fact: The CIA scenes were filmed at the actual CIA headquarters; this was the first time the CIA had ever done such a thing.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) Channel 4 11:10pm-1:45am (2 hours 35 minutes)
A reprogrammed killing machine is sent back in time to the 20th century to protect John Connor, a teenage boy whose destiny is to save the human race. After breaking John’s mother out of a mental institution, the pair set out to avert a future nuclear war – pursued by an advanced prototype terminator with shape-changing powers. Sci-fi action adventure sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong and Robert Patrick.

Terminator T-Shirts

SUNDAY 5th JUNE

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The Parent Trap
(1998) Film4 1:00pm-3:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
Identical twin sisters who are unaware of each other’s existence meet by accident. They decide to join forces in a bid to reunite their estranged parents, and switch places to get the warring couple to kiss and make up. Remake of the 1961 Disney comedy, starring Dennis Quaid, Natasha Richardson, Elaine Hendrix and Lindsay Lohan in a dual role.

Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 2:30pm-4:15pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

Mr Bean T-Shirts

Entrapment (1999) Channel 5 2:50pm-5:05pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An elusive professional art thief suspected of stealing a priceless painting is pursued by an insurance agent. However, instead of bringing the criminal to book, she teams up with him to plot the robbery of a lifetime – although neither is sure the other can be trusted. Crime thriller, starring Sean Connery, Catherine Zeta-Jones, Ving Rhames, Will Patton and Maury Chaykin.

The Railway Children (1970) ITV3 4:35pm-6:50pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Three Edwardian children are forced to leave their comfortable middle-class London home and move to the wilds of Yorkshire after their father is wrongfully imprisoned for treason. Family drama adapted from E Nesbit’s story, starring Jenny Agutter, Sally Thomsett, Gary Warren, Dinah Sheridan, Bernard Cribbins, William Mervyn and Iain Cuthbertson.

The Net (1995) E4 5:30pm-7:45pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A shy computer analyst discovers evidence of a criminal conspiracy, so the villains decide to retaliate. Erasing her personal details from the national database, they replace them with a false police record, hurling her into a desperate race against time to prove her real identity before corrupt officials silence her for good. Thriller, starring Sandra Bullock, Jeremy Northam and Dennis Miller.

Clear and Present Danger (1994) Film4 6:15pm-9:00pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
A CIA analyst gets caught up in the Colombian drug trade while trying to track down terrorists responsible for the murder of a close friend of the US president – but his investigations point to illegal activity and corruption at the very top of government. Action thriller, based on Tom Clancy’s novel, with Harrison Ford reprising his role from Patriot Games alongside Willem Dafoe, Anne Archer and James Earl Jones.

Fun Fact: The scene in which the convoy of Suburbans is attacked by the drug cartel is now actually used as a training video in US government agencies. The footage was also used in an episode of JAG (1995).

Jurassic Park (1993) ITV2 6:30pm-9:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Scientists are given a sneak preview of a safari park inhabited by genetically engineered dinosaurs created by an eccentric tycoon. However, it all goes wrong when a greedy employee sabotages the security systems, allowing the prehistoric beasts to roam free and hunt the visitors. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, starring Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough and Samuel L Jackson.

Jurassic Park T-Shirts

The American President (1995) ITV3 10:30pm-12:50am (2 hours 20 minutes)
The US president embarks on a relationship with an environmental lobbyist – but his delighted opponents jump at the chance to drag the pair through the gutter press, putting their romance and his career in jeopardy. Rob Reiner’s political comedy, starring Michael Douglas, Annette Bening, Martin Sheen, Richard Dreyfuss and Michael J Fox.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, give it your all and remember that it’s not always about winning, if you just take part you’re more of a winner than if you never tried.

xoxo

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