Reservoir Dogs

Great balls of fire! Another movie packed weekend is among us, can you smell it?

Setting up our little white ball on it’s plucky little wooden tee, we will slowly and eagerly line up our shot. Taking a little practice before, we will begin to line up our club of choice behind the ball as we gaze into the distance to really visualise what’s about to happen. With our head held down, legs slightly bent and shoulders relaxed, we will pull back the club before swooshing through with more rhythm than a grandfather clock. Will the ball go where we aimed? The ducks on the pond better hope so!

SATURDAY 27th October

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Overboard
(1987) ITV 3:25pm-5:30pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A wealthy heiress suffers amnesia after falling overboard from her yacht. A rough-hewn carpenter and father of four steps in and claims to be her husband – but only to avenge himself for her previous ill-treatment of him, which she has no recollection of. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Roddy McDowall and Edward Herrmann.

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) ITV2 6:45pm-10:20pm
Frodo and Sam continue their quest to destroy the all-powerful ring, bringing them face to face with the magical artefact’s twisted former owner Gollum. Meanwhile, their allies prepare to make a desperate last stand against the vast armies of the corrupted wizard Saruman, who has declared war on a neighbouring kingdom. Part two of Peter Jackson’s fantasy adventure trilogy, starring Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Viggo Mortensen, Ian McKellen, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Andy Serkis and Christopher Lee.

Lord of the Rings Merchandise

Reservoir Dogs (1992) ITV4 11:00pm-1:05am
Criminals are employed by a crime boss to carry out a diamond robbery that goes disastrously wrong. In the bloody aftermath of the heist, they try to establish what happened and how the police were aware of their plans all along – leading to the hardening suspicion that one of them betrayed the gang. Quentin Tarantino’s thriller, starring Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Chris Penn and Steve Buscemi.

Airplane! (1980) ITV 11:45pm-1:25am (1 hour 40 minutes)
The passengers on board an ill-fated airliner become increasingly jittery when the flight crew flounder during a food-poisoning crisis. As ground control personnel struggle heroically to ensure the plane lands safely, a traumatised war veteran must face his fear to take the controls. Spoof disaster movie, starring Robert Hays, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack and Lloyd Bridges.

Airplane! Merchandise

SUNDAY 28th October

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Hocus Pocus
(1993) Channel 4 3:20pm-5:15pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A teenager in Salem, Massachusetts, breaks into a spooky house on Halloween and accidentally resurrects three witches who have been dead for 300 years. The sorceresses are soon causing chaos while seeking a suitable sacrifice for a ritual to give them eternal youth. However, an old foe – a boy they turned into a cat – is on hand to help stop their mischief. Supernatural Disney comedy, with Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy and Omri Katz.

Vice Versa (1988) Film4 5:25pm-7:20pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A department store executive returns from a trip to Thailand in possession of a mysterious artefact that causes him to change places with his 11-year-old son. While the horrified father struggles to cope with a world of teachers and school bullies, the youngster is revelling in the perks of being a grown-up. Fantasy comedy, starring Judge Reinhold, Fred Savage, Swoosie Kurtz and Corinne Bohrer.

Fun Fact: There have been four television versions of F. Anstey’s “Vice Versa (1882) novel. They are: Vice Versa (1937), Vice Versa (1953), Vice Versa (1961), and Vice Versa (1981).

The Man in the Iron Mask (1998) Channel 5 5:35pm-8:00pm
The Three Musketeers set out to depose the villainous King of France and reinstate his long-imprisoned twin brother. However, they face an unexpected threat in the form of old friend D’Artagnan, who has remained loyal to the evil monarch. Swashbuckling adventure, starring Leonardo DiCaprio in a dual role, alongside John Malkovich, Jeremy Irons, Gerard Depardieu, Gabriel Byrne, Anne Parillaud and Hugh Laurie.

Coneheads (1993) Film4 7:20pm-9:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An alien couple and their daughter crash-land on Earth and try to blend into suburban society, all the while dodging the immigration authorities and their increasingly suspicious neighbours. Comedy, starring Dan Aykroyd, Jane Curtin, Michael McKean, Jason Alexander, Michelle Burke, David Spade and Chris Farley.

Die Hard 2 (1990) E4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife, but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

Fright Night (1985) Film4 10:55pm-1:10am (2 hours 15 minutes)
A teenager becomes convinced his new next door neighbour is a vampire responsible for a series of recent disappearances. Finding nobody is willing to believe his unlikely story, he seeks the aid of a washed-up movie star famous for playing a vampire hunter in destroying the monster. Comedy horror, starring Chris Sarandon, Roddy McDowall, William Ragsdale, Amanda Bearse and Stephen Geoffreys.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t let the muggles get you down and remember to always have tea bags in the cupboard.

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Great white Shark! Another retro movie weekend has appeared and we’re here to take it on like a monster from the depths!

Like one of the biggest, oldest and battle-scared Sharks roaming the deep blue, we find ourselves yet again on the hunt for the best and most rewarding retro movies. Sensing even the smallest of action, movement and drama, we’ll begin to home in on our next VHS victim (showing our age) as we brace to take them on in style with a leap and a splash. Bellies full of retro awesomeness, we will return to the depths until next time.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 17th June

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Spies Like Us (1985) 5STAR 8:00am-9:50am
Two incompetent US State Department officials are unwittingly used as decoys on a deadly mission to thwart Soviet activity in Pakistan. Unfortunately, their involvement in such a delicate operation brings the world to the brink of nuclear war. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Forrest, Bruce Davison and Donna Dixon.

Vice Versa (1988) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A department store executive returns from a trip to Thailand in possession of a mysterious artefact that causes him to change places with his 11-year-old son. While the horrified father struggles to cope with a world of teachers and school bullies, the youngster is revelling in the perks of being a grown-up. Fantasy comedy, starring Judge Reinhold, Fred Savage, Swoosie Kurtz and Corinne Bohrer.

Fun Fact: The movie was made and released around 106 years after it source novel “Vice Versa: A Lesson to Fathers” by F. Anstey had been first published in 1882.

Gandhi (1982) 11:30am-3:20pm (3 hours 50 minutes)
Richard Attenborough’s Oscar-winning biopic of Mohandas K Gandhi, who rose from unlikely beginnings as a small-time lawyer to become the inspirational leader of India’s struggle for independence and a worldwide ambassador for peace thanks to his philosophy of non-violent protest. Starring Ben Kingsley, John Gielgud, Edward Fox, Candice Bergen, Martin Sheen, Richard Griffiths, Saeed Jaffrey, Om Puri and Geraldine James, with Daniel Day-Lewis in an early role.

Three Men and a Baby (1987) 1:30pm-3:30pm (2 hours)
The lives of three flat-sharing bachelors are turned upside down when they discover a baby left on their doorstep. Unfortunately, while trying to get to grips with the necessary parenting skills, they find themselves menaced by criminals searching for missing drugs. Comedy, directed by Leonard Nimoy, starring Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, Steve Guttenberg and Nancy Travis.

Iron Man 2 (2010) Channel 4 8:00pm-10:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Tycoon-turned-superhero Tony Stark confronts a fearsome new foe in a Russian scientist using his own deadly hi-tech weapons to seek revenge. He also faces a struggle to keep his secrets out of the hands of both the government and an amoral rival, and discovers the armour he developed to fight evil is slowly killing him. Action adventure sequel, with Robert Downey Jr, Mickey Rourke and Don Cheadle.

Superhero Merchandise

Jaws: The Revenge (1987) ITV4 8:10pm-10:00pm
Ellen Brody, the widow of heroic police chief Martin Brody, travels to the Bahamas after her youngest son is killed by a great white shark. But as she is reunited with her surviving son, the predatory fish sets off in pursuit to wipe out the entire family. Thriller sequel, starring Michael Caine, Lorraine Gary, Lance Guest and Mario Van Peebles.

Jaws TShirts

Commando (1985) Film4 9:00pm-10:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The daughter of retired special forces officer John Matrix is kidnapped by an old comrade-in-arms, now in league with a deposed former dictator. The tyrant plans to use the girl to force Matrix into assassinating the head of the country he once ruled, but is unprepared for the lengths to which the veteran soldier will go to rescue his child. Action adventure, with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Rae Dawn Chong.

Reservoir Dogs (1992) ITV4 10:00pm-12:05am
Criminals are employed by a crime boss to carry out a diamond robbery that goes disastrously wrong. In the bloody aftermath of the heist, they try to establish what happened and how the police were aware of their plans all along – leading to the hardening suspicion that one of them betrayed the gang. Quentin Tarantino’s thriller, starring Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Chris Penn and Steve Buscemi.

Reservoir Dogs Art Print

Shanghai Knights (2003) 10:40pm-12:30am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Chinese sheriff Chon Wang and reformed bandit Roy O’Bannon head for Victorian London on the trail of a murderer. Their investigation leads them to a nefarious Englishman plotting to kill the royal family – but fortunately Chon’s talented sister comes to their aid. Martial arts comedy sequel, with Jackie Chan, Owen Wilson, Aidan Gillen and Fann Wong.

Conan the Barbarian (1982) Film4 10:50pm-1:25am (2 hours 35 minutes)
A child who grows up in slavery becomes a formidable warrior and a cunning thief. Taken prisoner by a victorious king, he is sent out to destroy the leader of the barbaric cult that destroyed his village and slaughtered his family. Fantasy adventure, based on the stories by author Robert E Howard, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Max von Sydow, James Earl Jones and Sandahl Bergman.

Fun Fact: Arnold Schwarzenegger is not wearing a wig. That is his own natural hair. In 1979, Schwarzenegger began growing his hair long for the film.

SUNDAY 18th June

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The Mask of Zorro (1998) Sony Movie Channel 1:15pm-4:10pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
The sword-wielding saviour of Spanish California returns after 20 years in prison, tutoring a thief to take over his heroic role and tackle corrupt government officials, who are using slave labour to mine gold illegally. Both mentor and pupil have personal scores to settle with their enemies, led by a ruthless governor and a psychotic military officer. Swashbuckling adventure, with Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Footloose (1984) Channel 5 1:30pm-3:35pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A rebellious, hip-swinging student from the city moves to a small religious community, where he instantly clashes with an old-school fire-and-brimstone preacher – who has banned dancing and rock ‘n’ roll because he considers them immoral. Drama, starring Kevin Bacon, Lori Singer, John Lithgow, Chris Penn, Dianne Wiest and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Street Fighter (1994) Sony Movie Channel 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A military officer goes in search of a power-mad general who is holding several hostages in a secret location. He soon finds he is not the only one on the maniac’s trail, and joins forced with a mismatched band of martial artists to save the captives. Action adventure based on the video game, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Kylie Minogue and Ming-Na Wen.

Street Fighter TShirts

Hard to Kill (1990) ITV4 9:20pm-11:25pm
A gang of drug dealers attacks the home of a Los Angeles cop, leaving him in a coma and his wife dead. Seven years later, he regains consciousness and gets ready to exact a grisly payback on the murderers. As he embarks on his deadly mission of vengeance, he learns his son also survived the attack, but was told he is dead. Thriller, with Steven Seagal, Kelly LeBrock, Bill Sadler and Frederick Coffin.

Out for Justice (1991) ITV4 11:25pm-1:15am
A tough Brooklyn cop learns that his partner and best friend has been murdered in front of his family by a vicious drug dealer, the pair’s lifelong enemy and the scourge of the neighbourhood. The detective heads into the underworld on a one-man vengeance mission, but finds the killer’s criminal bosses are also hunting for him. Action thriller, with Steven Seagal, William Forsythe and Jerry Orbach.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget your sunglasses…. both leaving and coming home!

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Holy hand grenade! It’s time for another retro movie weekend!

So like many eager, stressed but undeterred Christmas shoppers in the land, we find ourselves once again facing a truly Herculean task of finding, grabbing and wrapping the perfect gift for all of our nearest and dearest. Just like the choice of top retro films this weekend, we’ll be met with a sea of choices with each one battling for our attention. We’ll pick out only the perfect selection to take home and let nothing get in our way in creating the perfect festive day.

Happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 7th December

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The Princess Bride
(1987) 5* 1:10pm-3:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A cynical youngster becomes entranced by his grandfather’s magical tales, which revolve around a stable-boy’s heroic quest to rescue his lost love from the clutches of an evil prince, with the aid of a vengeance-seeking Spanish swashbuckler and his hulking sidekick. Rob Reiner’s comic fantasy adventure, with Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, Mandy Patinkin, Peter Falk and Fred Savage.

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) ITV 3:20pm-5:30pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A lonely boy befriends an alien who has been left stranded on Earth. The two develop a psychic connection as the boy helps the extraterrestrial to contact his own people and call for rescue. However, living on Earth starts to have a devastating effect on the visitor’s health, and a government operative is determined to capture him for study. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi fantasy, starring Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace and Peter Coyote.

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989) Dave 4:00pm-6:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The Starship Enterprise races to the rescue of intergalactic ambassadors held hostage on a distant planet. The crisis proves to be the handiwork of a renegade Vulcan mystic who kidnaps Captain Kirk and his crew, ordering them to fly to an unexplored world where he hopes to fulfil his insane ambition – to meet God. Sci-fi adventure, written, directed by and starring William Shatner, with Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley and David Warner.

The Rocketeer (1991) Film4 4:45pm-6:55pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A maverick pilot in 1930s Hollywood finds an experimental rocket pack that gives him the power to fly. While he plans to use the device in a stunt act, a Nazi spy masquerading as a movie star is also determined to get his hands on it. Sci-fi adventure, starring Bill Campbell, Jennifer Connelly, Timothy Dalton, Alan Arkin and Terry O’Quinn.

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991) Dave 6:05pm-8:20pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Captain Kirk is framed for the assassination of the Klingon head of state just as the Federation is about to make peace with their old enemies. As Kirk and Dr McCoy are banished to an icy prison planet, Spock tries to uncover the identity of the real killers. Sci-fi adventure sequel, with William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, Christopher Plummer, with appearances by Christian Slater and Michael Dorn from Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Star Trek T-Shirts

Lost in Space (1998) ITV2 5:50pm-8:20pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
A pioneering scientist takes his family out into space to colonise another planet. However, a saboteur has infiltrated their craft, and his meddling leaves them stranded in unknown territory on the other side of the galaxy. Sci-fi adventure based on the 1960s TV show, starring William Hurt, Matt LeBlanc, Gary Oldman, Mimi Rogers and Heather Graham.

Back to the Future Part II (1989) ITV2 8:20pm-10:35pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Time-travelling teenager Marty McFly travels to the 21st century, where he has to save his children from a terrible fate. However, this proves to have unforeseen consequences when the future version of arch enemy Biff sees a chance to rewrite history for his own benefit, leaving Marty stuck in a twisted parallel universe. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd.

Back to the Future T-Shirts

Glory (1989) BBC2 10:45pm-12:40am (1 hour 55 minutes)
Fact-based historical drama chronicling the story of the first all-black regiment to fight in the American Civil War, and the inexperienced officer given the job of training the men and leading them into battle. Starring Matthew Broderick, Cary Elwes, Morgan Freeman and Denzel Washington, who received an Oscar for his performance.

Wayne’s World (1992) Dave 12:00am-2:00am (2 hours)
Two heavy-metal fans broadcast an amateur TV programme from their basement. A slimy network executive offers them the chance to turn professional, but as they enjoy the perks of wealth and fame, they find their show being ruined by corporate interference. Comedy, starring Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Rob Lowe, Tia Carrere and Lara Flynn Boyle, with a cameo by Alice Cooper.

Reservoir Dogs (1992) Channel 5 12:00am-1:45am (1 hour 45 minutes)
Criminals are employed by a crime boss to carry out a diamond robbery that goes disastrously wrong. In the bloody aftermath of the heist, they try to establish what happened and how the police were aware of their plans all along – leading to the hardening suspicion that one of them betrayed the gang. Quentin Tarantino’s thriller, starring Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Chris Penn and Steve Buscemi.
Fun Fact:

SUNDAY 8th December

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Porridge
(1979) Film4 3:10pm-5:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Cellmates Fletcher and Godber are coerced into aiding an escape attempt organised by the sinister Grouty. However, the two jailbirds contrive to break back into prison before their absence is detected by the formidable Mr Mackay. Comedy based on the TV series, starring Ronnie Barker, Richard Beckinsale, Peter Vaughan, Fulton Mackay and Brian Wilde.

The Dark Crystal (1982) Film4 5:00pm-6:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

Blues Brothers 2000 (1998) ITV4 5:30pm-8:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Ex-convict Elwood Blues sets about re-forming his band to raise funds for a children’s hospital. But no sooner has he found a suitable lead singer to replace his late brother Jake, than the band end up being pursued by the police, the Russian mafia and his own embittered stepbrother. Comedy sequel, starring Dan Aykroyd, John Goodman and Joe Morton.

The Jungle Book (1967) Channel 4 5:25pm-7:00pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
A boy is raised by animals in the jungle, leading a carefree life with his friends, a laidback bear and a wise panther. The return of a ferocious tiger who hates humans places the youngster’s life in danger, and his friends must persuade him to return to the safety of his own people. Disney animated adventure based on Rudyard Kipling’s stories, with the voices of Phil Harris and George Sanders.

Jungle Book Merchandise

Bruce Almighty (2003) Channel 5 6:10pm-8:10pm (2 hours)
God tires of a down-on-his-luck reporter’s constant complaining, so passes on His powers to give him a taste of ultimate responsibility. The newsman falls in love with his extraordinary abilities – but a never-ending stream of incoming prayers and his ambitious attempt to please everyone soon prove there is more to the job than meets the eye. Comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Jennifer Aniston and Morgan Freeman.

Back to the Future Part III (1990) ITV2 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Time-travelling teenager Marty McFly is transported back to the days of the Wild West, where he strives to save his eccentric scientist friend Doc Brown from death at the hands of a villainous gunslinger. Final instalment in the sci-fi comedy trilogy, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Mary Steenburgen and Thomas F Wilson.

Rush Hour 3 (2007) E4 9:00pm-10:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An assassination attempt on the Chinese ambassador sets mismatched detectives Lee and Carter off to Paris, on a mission to protect a woman with information on Triad gangs. However, the assignment sends Lee into a confrontation with his own criminal brother. Action comedy sequel, starring Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Max von Sydow, Roman Polanski, Hiroyuki Sanada and Noemie Lenoir.

Daylight (1996) ITV4 11:05pm-1:20am (2 hours 15 minutes)
A devastating explosion in the New Jersey Tunnel causes a horrific pile-up, trapping a group of motorists underground. A former emergency worker witnesses the blast and heads in to guide the handful of survivors to safety before the waters of the Hudson river above them break through and flood the tunnel. Disaster movie, starring Sylvester Stallone, Amy Brenneman, Viggo Mortensen, Dan Hedaya and Claire Bloom.

The Faculty (1998) ITV2 12:35am-2:30am (1 hour 55 minutes)
Six high-school students notice their teachers behaving strangely, and realise they have been replaced by shape-changing aliens who are planning to take over the world. Robert Rodriguez’s sci-fi horror, starring Elijah Wood, Jordana Brewster, Josh Hartnett, Robert Patrick and Famke Janssen.

Whatever your up to this weekend, keep it classy and always remember to feed the little birds too.

xoxo

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