Shrek

Kris Kringle! Another retro movie weekend is here and is coming jam-packed with classic movie goodness!

With a brush and a scrape, we find ourselves frantically chipping away at the nights frost which has decided to make a semi-permanent home on our windscreen. With our fingers and toes quickly matching the temperature of the ice itself, we’ll slowly begin to reveal the clear shiny glass beneath the ice blanket, watching our breath slowly rise and fade away into the clear sky.

SATURDAY 1st December

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The Muppet Christmas Carol (1992) Film4 1:00pm-2:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An embittered Victorian miser hates the festive season and people in general, but on Christmas Eve, the ghosts of his former business partners, the Marley brothers, visit him in the night. They warn him three spirits are coming to make him change his ways by showing him visions of the past, the present and what the future may hold. Comedy, with Michael Caine and Steven Mackintosh alongside the puppet characters.

Muppets Merchandise

Santa Claus: The Movie (1985) ITV3 2:45pm-5:00pm
An impulsive elf walks out on Father Christmas during the hectic preparations for the festive season, and heads for New York determined to make a name for himself. However, he falls into the clutches of an evil toy manufacturer, who has a devilish money-making plan up his sleeve. Family fantasy adventure, starring Dudley Moore, John Lithgow, David Huddleston, Burgess Meredith and Judy Cornwell.

Superman (1978) ITV4 3:25pm-6:20pm
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman Merchandise

Nacho Libre (2006) ITV4 6:20pm-8:10pm
A portly Mexican friar working as a cook in an orphanage adopts the guise of a masked wrestler. He teams up with a thief and enters a tournament hoping to win enough money to sort out the monastery’s financial problems, feed the kids under his care and impress the nun he is in love with. Comedy, starring Jack Black and Ana de la Reguera.

The Nutty Professor (1996) ITV4 8:10pm-10:00pm
An obese, terminally shy professor invents a potion that transforms him into a slim, loud-mouthed charmer. His new streamlined self immediately sets out to woo the woman of his dreams – but soon starts to ride roughshod over everything he used to care about. Remake of the 1963 Jerry Lewis comedy, starring Eddie Murphy, Jada Pinkett Smith, James Coburn and Larry Miller.

The Bone Collector (1999) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:35pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
A quadriplegic ex-cop is saved from the brink of suicide by a rookie female officer needing his expertise to form a psychological profile of a serial killer. The murderer is posing as a cab driver and terrorising Manhattan, and has a gruesome habit of taking trophies from his victims’ bodies. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Michael Rooker, Mike McGlone, Luis Guzman and Queen Latifah.

Lethal Weapon 2 (1989) Dave 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Headstrong cop Martin Riggs and his cautious partner Roger Murtaugh stumble across a plot by a South African diplomat to launder drugs money by shipping gold coins into the US via his embassy. Protected by diplomatic immunity, the crook looks certain to evade the law – while his chief henchman has a connection to Riggs’ traumatic past. Action thriller sequel, with Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Joe Pesci, Joss Ackland, Derrick O’Connor and Patsy Kensit.

Rambo III (1988) ITV 10:35pm-12:25am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Rambo TShirts

SUNDAY 2nd December

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Wild Wild West (1999) Dave 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours)
A government agent teams up with a gadget-mad master of disguise to investigate the disappearance of several scientists. Their search leads them to an evil genius who is plotting to kill the US president with some bizarre inventions of his own. Sci-fi Western comedy, starring Will Smith, Kevin Kline, Kenneth Branagh, Salma Hayek and Ted Levine.

Flight of the Navigator (1986) Film4 3:15pm-5:05pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978, and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens.

Shrek (2001) Channel 4 5:50pm-7:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Anti-social ogre Shrek resolves to stop an evil ruler from banishing fairy-tale characters to his swampland home. However, the reluctant hero ends up forced to rescue the beautiful Princess Fiona from a castle guarded by a dragon, aided only by a wisecracking donkey. Animated comedy, with the voices of Mike Myers, John Lithgow, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Vincent Cassel.

Mars Attacks! (1996) ITV4 12:30am-2:40am
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, stay warm and keep cooooool!

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Double Pepperoni! It can only be the Weekend!

So as we stand ever so magnificently in the centre of a 20 X 20 Wrestling ring shimmering in our sequined spandex tights. Let us be your greased up, mullet headed, 80’s pro wrestler. As we prepare to lay the smack down on retro movie mayhem. We’ll stomp mud holes and walk them dry all over cinematic greatness before hitting our glorious finishing move we like to call celluloid wonder, for the three count and the victory. Oooooh yeah!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 29th MARCH

Shrek (2001) BBC1 London 5:15 pm-6:40 pm (1 hour 25 minutes)
Anti-social ogre Shrek resolves to stop an evil ruler from banishing fairy-tale characters to his swampland home. However, the reluctant hero ends up forced to rescue the beautiful Princess Fiona from a castle guarded by a dragon, aided only by a wisecracking donkey. Animated adventure, with the voices of Mike Myers, John Lithgow, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Vincent Cassel

Legend (1985) Film4 7:10 pm-9:00 pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A peasant boy, who has a special bond with animals and fairies, shows his sweetheart the last surviving unicorns. Unfortunately, a monstrous demon and his goblin henchmen despise the mythical creatures and trick the girl into harming one of them, forcing Jack to act quickly to save her immortal soul. Ridley Scott’s fantasy adventure, starring Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry and David Bennent.

The Blues Brothers (1980) ITV4 9:00 pm-11:35 pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
Two criminal brothers discover the orphanage where they were raised faces closure unless the nuns who run it can pay their tax bill, so the pair embark on an urgent mission to revive their old blues band to raise the money needed. Comedy, starring John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Aretha Franklin, James Brown, Ray Charles, Cab Calloway, Carrie Fisher, John Candy and John Lee Hooker.

Old School (2003) BBC3 9:20 pm-10:50 pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
An embittered lawyer decides to relive the wild, crazy days of his youth after his girlfriend is unfaithful, and enlists the help of two equally disillusioned friends in setting up a fraternity house next to his former college campus. Comedy, starring Luke Wilson, Will Ferrell, Vince Vaughn and Juliette Lewis.

SUNDAY 30th MARCH

Big (1988) Film4 1:00 pm-3:00 pm (2 hours)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks,
Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Gremlins 2: The New Batch (1990) Channel 5 12:35 pm-2:40 pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Cute furball Gizmo is reunited with his human friends Billy and Kate, who now work in the New York offices of an eccentric tycoon. However, it is not long before Gizmo has spawned a new generation of murderous carnivores, who quickly overrun the building – and a genetics lab where they produce even more startling mutations. Joe Dante’s comedy sequel, starring Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, John Glover and Christopher Lee.

Men's Black Gremlins Bad Gremlin T-Shirt

Men's Black Gremlins Bad Gremlin T-Shirt

Men's Black Caution Gremlins T-Shirt

Men's Black Caution Gremlins T-Shirt

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992) Channel 5 2:40 pm-4:20 pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A tough Los Angeles cop receives a visit from his overprotective mother. Not content with tidying his home and meddling in his love life, she joins him on duty to rid the streets of crime after witnessing a murder. Comedy, starring Sylvester Stallone, Estelle Getty, JoBeth Williams, Roger Rees and Martin Ferrero.

Point Break (1991) Channel 5 11:55 pm-2:20 am (2 hours 25 minutes)
An FBI agent infiltrates a Californian surfing gang suspected of carrying out a series of armed robberies wearing masks modelled on former US presidents. However, his loyalties are tested to the limits when he is befriended by the gang’s leader. Kathryn Bigelow’s thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, Gary Busey and Lori Petty.

Whamalama Ding dong! Bonus Movie Clip time!
This week a little soul for your soul….

Whatever you get up to this weekend remember if you pull faces and the wind changes you’ll stay like that forever and always try to enjoy yourselves.

xoxo

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Oh my stars! The days get longer and the weeks get shorter but the weekend remains the same – full of  nostalgic cinematic retroactive joyfulness!

We totally enjoyed “Raiders Of The Lost Ark” last weekend so we’re dead happy to see that “Temple Of Doom” is on this weekend. There’s a real mixed bag of treats in store including a randy British spy, giant green people, an alien and the Batman, “Ever dance with the devil in the pale moon light?” now I love Batman but I still don’t know what that line means or why I remember it, anyone help me out with this?!

Have a happy retro Weekend Folks :-)

SATURDAY 14th JULY

Brewster’s Millions (1985) ITV1 London 12:50pm-2:45pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A baseball player is stunned to learn he has come into a massive inheritance. Unfortunately, there is one condition – he must somehow find a way to spend $30million in just one month, or he will lose the lot. Meanwhile, two scheming lawyers, who stand to get the money if he fails, are determined to sabotage his efforts. Comedy, starring Richard Pryor, John Candy, Lonette McKee and Jerry Orbach.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) BBC1 London 6:30pm-8:20pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The archaeologist, with his young sidekick and a nightclub singer in tow, is stranded in India, where he takes on a mission to recover lost sacred stones with magical powers from the hands of an evil cult engaged in human sacrifice and child slavery. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, starring Harrison Ford, Kate Capshaw, Ke Huy Quan and Amrish Puri.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who S*****d Me (1999) 5* 8:00pm-10:00pm (2 hours)
The sex-mad spy is sent back to swinging London at the height of the 1960s in pursuit of the dastardly Dr Evil. Unfortunately, his arch-rival is one step ahead of him and steals the secret agent’s `mojo’. Teaming up with a female American agent, Austin pursues his nemesis to the moon. Comedy sequel, starring Mike Myers in multiple roles alongside Heather Graham, Rob Lowe, Robert Wagner, Michael York, Seth Green and Verne Troyer.

Boyz N the Hood (1991) Sky Movies Modern Greats 8:00pm-10:00pm (2 hours)
A bright but underachieving teenager with a domineering single father strikes up a friendship with two brothers, and over time, the three young men each follow their own path – but a tragedy eventually leaves them facing a dangerous choice. Oscar-nominated drama, with Cuba Gooding Jr, Laurence Fishburne, Morris Chestnut and Ice Cube.

SUNDAY 1st JULY

Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987) Channel 5 2:30pm-4:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Commandant Lassard comes to the conclusion that his staff are overworked, so in an attempt to solve the problem, he assigns the clueless cops to teach a group of equally inept civilians how to combat crime. Comedy sequel, with Steve Guttenberg, Sharon Stone, Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow and David Graf.

The Incredible Hulk (2008) ITV2 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A bungled experiment causes a scientist to turn into a monster whenever he gets angry. He travels the world seeking a cure for his condition, while a ruthless general is determined to use him as a weapon. However, one of the soldiers under the officer’s command undergoes a terrifying transformation of his own. Comic-book adventure, starring Edward Norton, Tim Roth, Liv Tyler and William Hurt.

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) Syfy 3:50pm-6:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A lonely boy befriends an alien who has been left stranded on Earth. The two develop a psychic connection as the boy helps the extraterrestrial to contact his own people and call for rescue. However, living on Earth starts to have a devastating effect on the visitor’s health, while a government operative is determined to capture him for study. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi fantasy, starring Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace-Stone and Peter Coyote.

Shrek (2001) BBC3 8:35pm-10:00pm (1 hour 25 minutes)
Anti-social ogre Shrek resolves to stop an evil ruler from banishing fairy-tale characters to his swampland home. However, the reluctant hero ends up forced to rescue the beautiful Princess Fiona from a castle guarded by a dragon, aided only by a wisecracking donkey. Animated adventure, with the voices of Mike Myers, John Lithgow, Cameron Diaz, Eddie Murphy and Vincent Cassel.

Batman (1989) ITV2 12:25am-2:50am (2 hours 25 minutes)
The masked avenger stalks the streets of Gotham City, waging a nightly war against the criminal element. However, he may have met his match when the city’s crime syndicate is taken over by the crazed Joker, who plans to poison the populace with toxic chemicals. Tim Burton’s comic-book adventure, starring Michael Keaton, Jack Nicholson and Kim Basinger.

The first film I ever saw in the cinema was E.T, I was three years old and all I remember from that experience was watching Tom and Jerry and then falling asleep – still my all time favourite movie ever!

Do you remember your first ever big screen experience? Share it with us we’d really like to hear about it!

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