Smokey And The Bandit

Hot bowls and spiky sticks! Another retro movie weekend is here and ready to rock this weekend.

Picking only the finest selection of cheeses we can muster, we will begin to chop, grate and mix all these subtle flavours together to create something bigger than the sum of it’s parts. We will begin to slowly heat, melt and mix our concoction, adding a touch of this, a splash of that and a hint of something else. Slowly stirring into the most delicious and winter warming fondue we have ever seen, we will marvel at our creation before mopping up the entire pot with a mix of tasty treats on sticks.

SATURDAY 11th November

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Getting Even with Dad (1994) 5STAR 11:30am-1:40pm
Spoilt child Timmy goes to live with his outwardly respectable father, but realises he is a small-time thief planning his latest robbery. Timmy sets out to reform his dad, and in the meantime manages to fix him up with an attractive undercover cop – leading to much confusion. Family comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Ted Danson, Glenne Headly and Hector Elizondo.

Fun Fact: Saul Rubinek was really hit in the nose with a bat during the scene where he falls down the stairs at the stadium. Since Rubinek was caught off guard, his reaction gave the scene a more realistic look.

Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 11:45am-1:50pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Roald Dahl Merchandise

Short Circuit 2 (1988) Film4 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Manic mechanoid Johnny Five meets an old friend in New York City and embarks on a fact-finding tour – but ends up entangled in a series of escapades culminating in a bank robbery. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean, Cynthia Gibb and Jack Weston, with the voice of Tim Blaney.

Labyrinth (1986) 5STAR 1:40pm-3:40pm
A teenager wishes her baby brother would be taken away, only to have her request granted by a band of goblins and their sinister king. She regrets her decision and sets out to rescue him, but to reach the castle where he is being held, she must find her way through a magical maze full of strange creatures. Jim Henson’s fantasy adventure, starring Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie.

Labyrinth Merchandise

Bean (1997) ITV2 3:40pm-5:20pm
The hapless fool is employed as a security guard for a British art gallery and is sent to Los Angeles to bring back a famous painting. Unfortunately, he finds himself mistaken for a renowned art professor and invited to make an important presentation. Mel Smith’s British comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Burt Reynolds, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Peter Capaldi and June Brown.

Smokey and the Bandit II (1980) Sony Movie Channel 4:20pm-6:35pm
The maverick haulier must overcome a crisis of confidence when he and his friends are hired to transport a pregnant elephant to Texas, a mammoth task that proves far from easy, especially with their old enemy in hot pursuit. Road comedy, with Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Dom DeLuise and Sally Field.

SUNDAY 12th November

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Look Who’s Talking Now (1993) Sony Movie Channel 1:05pm-3:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A family takes in two pet dogs, a scruffy mongrel with discipline problems and a prim and proper pedigree poodle, whose personality clashes create all sorts of mayhem for the household. Comedy sequel, starring John Travolta and Kirstie Alley, plus the voices of Diane Keaton and Danny DeVito as the canine duo.

Men in Black (1997) Channel 4 4:45pm-6:30pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.

Big Daddy (1999) Sony Movie Channel 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
An immature 32-year-old is heartbroken when his girlfriend walks out on him. In a plan to win her back, he volunteers to look after his flatmate’s five-year-old son, thus demonstrating he is finally ready to grow up. However, his ideas of childcare prove unconventional and chaos quickly ensues. Comedy, with Adam Sandler, Joey Lauren Adams, Jon Stewart, Josh Mostel, Leslie Mann, Rob Schneider and Kristy Swanson, alongside Steve Buscemi in a cameo role.

Quantum of Solace (2008) ITV2 8:00pm-10:15pm
James Bond sets out on a personal mission of vengeance as he pursues the secret criminal organisation Quantum. His search leads him to the head of an ecological corporation, who is plotting to orchestrate a coup in a Latin American country to get his hands on a precious natural resource. Spy thriller sequel, starring Daniel Craig, Olga Kurylenko, Judi Dench, Gemma Arterton and Mathieu Amalric.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep it cheesy.

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Sugar and spice and all things nice! Another retro movie filled weekend is here and ready to woosh us off to far and distant lands. Hold onto your hats!

Packing up our trusty bag, we find ourselves zipping up and tucking away all the essentials of the day in preparation for the adventures ahead. Ticking off each item as we go, we’ll soon be packed up and ready to rock as we begin our journey to the top of our local hiking spot. With our eyes eager to catch all the beauty spots and scenes that await us, we’ll stride closer and closer to the peak as we briefly stop to catch our breath and take in the crisp air and natural wonder.

SATURDAY 21st October

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Smokey and the Bandit (1977) Sony Movie Channel 3:40pm-5:50pm
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.

Liar Liar (1997) ITV2 5:05pm-6:10pm
A lawyer, whose underhand ploys to win cases leave him little time to see his son, discovers he is incapable of lying after the boy’s birthday wish makes his dad tell only the truth. However, this causes a host of problems as the attorney tries to muddle his way through a high-profile divorce settlement. Comedy, with Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Jennifer Tilly and Cary Elwes.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) ITV2 6:45pm-10:20pm
An unassuming hobbit is plunged into a battle against the forces of darkness when his uncle bequeaths him a magical ring of immense power. He joins a fellowship of heroes to embark on a perilous quest to destroy the ring before it falls into the hands of its creator – a dark lord who needs it to regain his power and conquer the world. The first part of Peter Jackson’s epic fantasy trilogy based on JRR Tolkien’s novel, starring Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Astin, Christopher Lee, Liv Tyler and Orlando Bloom.

Lord of the Rings Merchandise

Die Hard (1988) E4 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
New York cop John McClane visits Los Angeles to see his family over the Christmas holiday. Stopping off at his wife’s place of work, he realises armed men have taken over the building and are holding the corporation’s staff to ransom – and only he has the ability to fight back. Action thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and Bonnie Bedelia.

Lethal Weapon 4 (1998) Dave 9:00pm-11:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Mismatched LAPD detectives Riggs and Murtaugh stumble across a ship transporting Chinese immigrants into the US. As they try to get to the bottom of the organisation behind the smuggling, they find themselves up against a master criminal who is an expert in martial arts and heads a triad responsible for people-trafficking and forgery. Action adventure sequel, starring Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Rene Russo, Joe Pesci, Jet Li and Chris Rock.

SUNDAY 22nd October

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The Railway Children (1970) ITV3 12:45pm-3:00pm
Three Edwardian children are forced to leave their comfortable middle-class London home and move to the wilds of Yorkshire after their father is wrongfully imprisoned for treason. Family drama adapted from E Nesbit’s story, starring Jenny Agutter, Sally Thomsett, Gary Warren, Dinah Sheridan, Bernard Cribbins, William Mervyn and Iain Cuthbertson.

Fun Fact: Sally Thomsett was 20 when she was cast as 11-year-old Phyllis. Her contract forbade her to reveal her true age during the making of the film and she was not allowed to be seen smoking, drinking, going out with her boyfriend or driving the sports cars that were her passion. Even the film crew did not know her true age.

Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV 2:55pm-4:35pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

The NeverEnding Story (1984) W 4:10pm-6:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A lonely boy, neglected by his father and bullied at school, finds comfort in a mysterious book about a young hero’s quest to save his world from destruction. However, as he reads the tale, he begins to become part of the story. Fantasy adventure based on Michael Edne’s novel, starring Barret Oliver, Noah Hathaway, Gerald McRaney, Moses Gunn and Patricia Hayes.

Star Trek: Generations (1994) Syfy 4:30pm-7:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
USS Enterprise Captain Jean-Luc Picard must stop a deranged genius obsessed with gaining access to a mysterious energy source – regardless of the threat to entire civilisations that lie in his path. Help arrives from an unlikely quarter – his supposedly long dead predecessor Captain James T Kirk. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, William Shatner, Malcolm McDowell and Whoopi Goldberg.

Star Trek Merchandise

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) ITV2 6:25pm-10:00pm
Frodo and Sam continue their quest to destroy the all-powerful ring, bringing them face to face with the magical artefact’s twisted former owner Gollum. Meanwhile, their allies prepare to make a desperate last stand against the vast armies of the corrupted wizard Saruman, who has declared war on a neighbouring kingdom. Part two of Peter Jackson’s fantasy adventure trilogy, starring Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Viggo Mortensen, Ian McKellen, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Andy Serkis and Christopher Lee.

Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001) ITV3 11:10pm-1:10am
A single woman begins a new year with resolutions to find love, quit her bad habits and take a step up the career ladder. Her plans crumble as she tries to deal with her mother’s infidelity, get over a passionate fling with her boss and come to terms with her feelings for an uptight lawyer. Romantic comedy based on Helen Fielding’s novel, starring Renee Zellweger, Hugh Grant and Colin Firth.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t double dip and always remember to put it back in the fridge after.

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Sweet Valley High! Another retro movie weekend has landed and is here to whisk us off to far and foreign lands!

With a clip and a clonk, we’re re-living our childhoods once again as we connect power cables and controllers to our favourite dusty old game console. Firmly slotting in the well-used cartridge which is packed with data and memories, we’ll hit the power switch and begin to jump, run and slide our way around the old familiar lands we once conquered man moons before.

SATURDAY 14th October

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Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
(2001) Syfy 2:20pm-4:30pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The gun-toting treasure seeker is thrown into a furious battle with a mysterious secret society as she races against time to locate the missing pieces of a legendary artefact that grants the owner the ability to control time. Action adventure based on the video games, starring Angelina Jolie, Daniel Craig, Leslie Phillips, Iain Glen, Chris Barrie and Jon Voight.

Titanic (1997) Film4 2:30pm-6:15pm (3 hours 45 minutes)
A party of explorers studying the sunken remains of the famous liner meets an elderly woman who was a passenger on the ill-fated maiden voyage. She recounts how she boarded the ship while on the brink of being forced into marriage by her family, and was stopped from killing herself by a penniless artist. She fell in love with her saviour, but the disaster on the horizon meant their time together was doomed to be short. James Cameron’s Oscar-winning romantic drama, starring Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates and Bill Paxton.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) Spike 2:45pm-5:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Two notorious outlaws’ routine of bank and train robberies is cut short when a seemingly unstoppable posse is formed to catch them. The pair plan to flee America and start a new life in Bolivia, with the Sundance Kid’s schoolmistress lover in tow – but staying ahead of the law is not so easy. Western, starring Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Katharine Ross.

Dirty Dancing (1987) 5STAR 3:55pm-6:00pm
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Dirty Dancing Merchandise

Liar Liar (1997) ITV2 5:45pm-7:30pm
A lawyer, whose underhand ploys to win cases leave him little time to see his son, discovers he is incapable of lying after the boy’s birthday wish makes his dad tell only the truth. However, this causes a host of problems as the attorney tries to muddle his way through a high-profile divorce settlement. Comedy, with Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Jennifer Tilly and Cary Elwes.

Pale Rider (1985) ITV4 9:00pm-11:20pm
An unscrupulous landowner threatens to throw gold-miners off their land and take the riches for himself. As the law turns a blind eye to their troubles, the miners desperately need a saviour – who happens to arrive in the form of a mysterious preacher with formidable gunfighting skills. Western, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood, alongside Michael Moriarty, Carrie Snodgress and Richard Dysart.

SUNDAY 15th October

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The Dark Crystal
(1982) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

The Dark Crystal Board Game

The Mask of Zorro (1998) Sony Movie Channel 12:00pm-2:00pm (2 hours)
The sword-wielding saviour of Spanish California returns after 20 years in prison, tutoring a thief to take over his heroic role and tackle corrupt government officials, who are using slave labour to mine gold illegally. Both mentor and pupil have personal scores to settle with their enemies, led by a ruthless governor and a psychotic military officer. Swashbuckling adventure, with Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Napoleon Dynamite (2004) Film4 1:00pm-2:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A socially inept high-school student and his lonely unemployed brother find their eccentric home life thrown into upheaval when their meddling uncle comes to stay. The teenage oddball tries to make the best of his changing circumstances, while putting all his skills to the task of helping his new best friend win the class presidency. Comedy, starring Jon Heder, Efren Ramirez and Haylie Duff.

Napoleon Dynamite TShirts

The ‘Burbs (1989) Channel 5 1:45pm-3:35pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The arrival of secretive neighbours sparks an unhealthy curiosity in a group of friends, leading them to go to bizarre lengths to discover the truth about the newcomers. However, their investigations take an even weirder twist when they begin to suspect their unseen fellow suburbanites are part of a cannibalistic cult. Joe Dante’s black comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher, Corey Feldman and Henry Gibson.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977) Sony Movie Channel 2:00pm-4:10pm
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.

Fun Fact: This was such a hit that it became the second highest grossing movie released in 1977, next to Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977).

Antz (1998) Channel 4 2:30pm-4:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A neurotic worker ant passes himself off as a soldier to impress a princess. However, he provokes a jealously ambitious general with an accidental act of heroism – so he and his beloved decide to flee the brutal colony and go in search of the promised land of Insectopia. Animated comedy, with the voices of Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman and Sylvester Stallone.

National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Channel 5 3:35pm-5:15pm
A maverick cop and his by-the-book partner investigate the murder of a fellow detective, uncovering a sinister conspiracy to get the people of America hooked on cocaine-flavoured cookies. Spoof of the Lethal Weapon movies, starring Emilio Estevez, Samuel L Jackson, Jon Lovitz, Tim Curry and William Shatner.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Film4 4:40pm-6:45pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Merchandise

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) Channel 5 7:20pm-8:55pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

Conan the Destroyer (1984) ITV4 9:00pm-11:05pm
The mighty sword-wielding warrior returns and is hired by a duplicitous queen to retrieve a mystical artefact from an evil sorcerer. Unfortunately, he fails to see that the malevolent monarch has a sinister plan in mind, and intends to kill him once his task is complete. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Grace Jones, Wilt Chamberlain and Sarah Douglas.

Highlander (1986) Spike 11:05pm-1:25am
A 16th-century Scottish clansman discovers he is one of a race of immortal warriors who can only be killed by beheading, and who are destined to fight to the death until just one survives. Centuries later in modern-day New York, he prepares for a final showdown with his deadliest enemy. Fantasy action adventure, starring Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, Clancy Brown and Roxanne Hart.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always do your best and you’ll never be disappointed.

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Retro movie rundown coming atcha folks!

We’re back again with another action-packed, smile raising, ear bursting array of top retro movies for all you eager view to enjoy. Prepare yourself for more twists and turns than the latest theme park ride, more laughs than a pack of hyenas and perhaps the odd tear or two as we take another trip down retro movie memory lane with our latest selection. Sit back, relax, grab that bad of popcorn you’ve been saving and enjoy!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 18th June

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Star Trek: First Contact (1996) Channel 5 12:05pm-2:10pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Captain Jean-Luc Picard and the crew of the Enterprise face their deadliest enemies, the Borg, who travel back in time in an attempt to change Earth’s history. The starship follows on a mission to foil their plan, but the vessel is taken over by members of the cyborg collective, leaving Picard consumed by a desire for revenge. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, James Cromwell and Alice Krige.

Star Trek TShirts

The Bachelor (1999) ITV2 1:30pm-3:30pm
A man makes a mess of a wedding proposal, then finds out he stands to inherit a fortune if he is married by his 30th birthday – which happens to be the following day. With his girlfriend still unwilling to take him back, he tracks down his exes to find a suitable bride. Romantic comedy, starring Chris O’Donnell, Renee Zellweger, Artie Lange and Edward Asner.

The Dirty Dozen (1967) Spike 2:05pm-5:00pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
An uncompromising major is placed in charge of a seemingly suicidal mission to destroy a French chateau being used as a base by Nazi officers. Needing tough but expendable soldiers for the task, he recruits 12 hardened criminals from a military prison. Second World War action adventure, starring Lee Marvin, Telly Savalas, Ernest Borgnine, Charles Bronson and Donald Sutherland.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977) ITV4 2:50pm-4:40pm
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.

Independence Day (1996) Channel 4 8:00pm-10:50pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
A fleet of huge flying saucers launches a devastating and unprovoked attack on Earth. As survivors try to flee the seemingly unstoppable alien invaders, the courageous US president, an ace pilot and a computer genius come up with a plan to take the fight to the enemy and save the human race. Roland Emmerich’s sci-fi adventure, starring Will Smith, Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum, Mary McDonnell, Randy Quaid, Robert Loggia and Harry Connick Jr.

Independence Day TShirts

Sleepy Hollow (1999) E4 9:00pm-11:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A sceptical 18th-century detective is sent to a small hamlet supposedly terrorised by a demonic headless horseman who decapitates his victims. The investigator refuses to believe in the supernatural, convinced a human killer is behind the murders – but the legend proves to be all too true. Tim Burton’s gothic horror, starring Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson and Christopher Walken.

Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) ITV4 11:30pm
Incarcerated Special Forces veteran John Rambo is offered the chance for freedom by former commander Colonel Trautman if he takes up the offer to return to the jungles of Vietnam on a life-or-death mission to rescue American PoWs. During the course of the operation, he develops strong feelings for his guide, a female freedom fighter – but tragedy strikes, leaving him more determined than ever to exact a bloody and explosive revenge. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Julia Nickson-Soul, Steven Berkoff, George Kee Cheung, Andy Wood and Martin Kove.

SUNDAY 19th June

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Back to the Future Part II (1989) ITV2 2:00pm-4:10pm
Time-travelling teenager Marty McFly travels to the 21st century, where he has to save his children from a terrible fate. However, this proves to have unforeseen consequences when the future version of arch enemy Biff sees a chance to rewrite history for his own benefit, leaving Marty stuck in a twisted parallel universe. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd.

Back to the Future TShirts

The Day After Tomorrow (2004) Film4 6:25pm-8:50pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A climatologist warns global warming will soon result in destructive freak weather, or even another ice age. He thinks the world still has time to prepare for the worst, but the crisis happens almost immediately – and as storms, earthquakes and hurricanes strike in terrifying fashion, he races across America to rescue his son from a frozen New York. Disaster thriller, with Jake Gyllenhaal and Dennis Quaid.

I, Robot (2004) Film4 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
The inventor of an advanced form of intelligent robot is found dead, and the detective investigating the case is certain that one of the scientist’s mechanical creations is responsible – but no one believes his theory because the robots have been programmed to prevent them from harming humans. Sci-fi thriller, inspired by the Isaac Asimov stories, starring Will Smith, Bridget Moynahan and Alan Tudyk.

Rambo III (1988) ITV4 11:30pm-1:35am
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember that turning up the numbers on the toaster doesn’t make it any hotter or faster and that sometimes you just got to celebrate something with a dance, and that’s fine.
xoxo

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Great traffic jam of 96! It’s another retro movie weekend and time to bust out some classics!

Like apparently half the world at that very moment, we find ourselves once again on the road and going nowhere fast. As we sit in the snake of cars that seems to neither have a hear or tail, we’ll think back to those classic car drips growing up that seemed to never end but you knew at the end, you would have been transported to new lands far away. We’ll remember the old songs and games that wound the miles away including I Spy (which was usually road or tree) and 20 questions which for once didn’t include ‘are we there yet?’.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 11th June

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Vice Versa (1988) Film4 1:00pm-2:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A department store executive returns from a trip to Thailand in possession of a mysterious artefact that causes him to change places with his 11-year-old son. While the horrified father struggles to cope with a world of teachers and school bullies, the youngster is revelling in the perks of being a grown-up. Fantasy comedy, starring Judge Reinhold, Fred Savage, Swoosie Kurtz and Corinne Bohrer.

The Addams Family (1991) Film4 2:55pm-4:55pm (2 hours)
Creepy couple Morticia and Gomez find their unconventional life threatened by a man claiming to be a long-lost relative. When they welcome him with open arms, they fall prey to a plot that could cost them their ancestral home and the family fortune. Black comedy based on the 1960s TV series, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman and Carel Struycken.

Little Nicky (2000) 5STAR 4:15pm-6:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The Devil decides to put off retirement for a little longer, but his two oldest sons are left fuming – and decide to get revenge by creating Hell on Earth. The job of saving the world falls to their good-natured younger brother, who travels to New York to put things right. Comedy, starring Adam Sandler, Patricia Arquette, Harvey Keitel, Rhys Ifans, Reese Witherspoon and Rodney Dangerfield.

Titanic (1997) Channel 4 6:20pm-10:00pm (3 hours 40 minutes)
A party of explorers studying the sunken remains of the famous liner meets an elderly woman who was a passenger on the ill-fated maiden voyage. She recounts how she boarded the ship while on the brink of being forced into marriage by her family, and was stopped from killing herself by a penniless artist. She fell in love with her saviour, but the disaster on the horizon meant their time together was doomed to be short. James Cameron’s Oscar-winning romantic drama, starring Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates and Bill Paxton.

Zoolander (2001) Dave 6:20pm-8:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Dim male model Derek Zoolander is stunned to find his career going downhill thanks to the arrival of an equally vacuous rival – but fails to realise he is merely a pawn in a dangerous game of international espionage and world domination. Comedy, starring Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Milla Jovovich, Christine Taylor and David Duchovny.

Iron Man (2008) Film4 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Arms manufacturer Tony Stark is taken hostage by a terrorist group and realises the weapons his company build have been falling into the wrong hands. Using his engineering skills to construct a hi-tech armoured suit, he manages to escape and then puts the technology to good use in the fight against evil around the world. Superhero adventure, starring Robert Downey Jr, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow and Terrence Howard.

Iron Man Merchandise

Smokey and the Bandit (1977) ITV4 8:00pm-9:10pm (1 hour 10 minutes) 2 parts
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.

Die Hard (1988) Film4 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
New York cop John McClane visits Los Angeles to see his family over the Christmas holiday. Stopping off at his wife’s place of work, he realises armed men have taken over the building and are holding the corporation’s staff to ransom – and only he has the ability to fight back. Action thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and Bonnie Bedelia.

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) BBC1 11:35pm-1:10am (1 hour 35 minutes)
Four teenagers accidentally run over a stranger and hide the body rather than inform the authorities, only to find themselves stalked the following year by a shadowy figure who takes great delight in disposing of them in a variety of gruesome ways. Horror, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Freddie Prinze Jr and Anne Heche.

SUNDAY 12th June

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Back to the Future Part II (1989) ITV2 4:00pm-5:00pm (1 hour) 2 parts
Time-travelling teenager Marty McFly travels to the 21st century, where he has to save his children from a terrible fate. However, this proves to have unforeseen consequences when the future version of arch enemy Biff sees a chance to rewrite history for his own benefit, leaving Marty stuck in a twisted parallel universe. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd.

Back to the Future Clothing

Gunsmoke (1953) ITV4:15pm-5:15pm (1 hour) 2 parts
A wicked landowner wants to get his hands on a farmer’s ranch, so hires a gunslinger to kill him. However, the mercenary befriends his intended target – and also falls for his daughter – so resolves to defend them from their enemies during a cattle drive. Western, starring Audie Murphy, Paul Kelly, Susan Cabot and Donald Randolph.

Aladdin (1992) Channel 4 5:00pm-6:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A street urchin is caught up in a scheming grand vizier’s plot to get his clutches on a magical lamp. Retrieving the object from a wondrous cave, he releases a powerful genie trapped inside, whose ability to grant wishes helps the young hero thwart the villain’s plans and woo a princess. Animated adventure, featuring the voices of Robin Williams, Scott Weinger and Linda Larkin.

Aladdin Merchandise

Vertical Limit (2000) Film4 6:35pm-9:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A wildlife photographer is forced to master his fears and the elements as he leads an expedition to climb K2, the world’s second highest mountain, on a desperate mission to rescue his estranged sister and her fellow mountaineers, who have fallen into a crevasse. Action adventure, starring Chris O’Donnell, Bill Paxton, Scott Glenn and Robin Tunney.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep is sassy and keep it awesome!

xoxo

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The the beard of Zeus! It’s only another retro movie filled weekend!

Like a keen and very armature paintball team who are geared up and ready to rumble, we find ourselves faced with another round of adrenaline fuelled mayhem. Firing out what can only be described as a flood of paintballs at anything that moves and plenty of things that don’t, we’ll run, jump and hide our way to victory like many action movie heroes before us.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 7th May

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School for Scoundrels (1960) BBC2 10:30am-12:00pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
A timid company owner is pushed around by his employees, deceived by a car salesman, humiliated by a waiter and finally loses his girlfriend to a dastardly rival. Salvation comes in the form of an unusual college dedicated to teaching students how to succeed through being manipulative and devious, and he sets about getting even with his enemies. Comedy, starring Ian Carmichael, Terry-Thomas, Alastair Sim and Janette Scott.

No Name on the Bullet (1959) ITV4 12:50pm-1:50pm (1 hour)
A hired gunslinger causes the inhabitants of a small town to relive their guilty pasts as they each wonder who he has been employed to kill, leading to a series of deadly confrontations as they try to outflank him. Western, starring Audie Murphy, Joan Evans, Charles Drake and RG Armstrong.

Three Men and a Little Lady (1990) 5STAR 1:45pm-3:50pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Bachelor Jack and his two best buddies have brought up his baby Mary since she was left in their care by her mother, Sylvia. Now that Mary is five years old, Sylvia believes she needs a more conventional upbringing and decides to accept a marriage proposal from an English aristocrat, leaving the trio of dads rushing to stop the wedding. Comedy sequel, with Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and Steve Guttenberg.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV 2:30pm-4:30pm (2 hours)
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minion Merchandise

The Karate Kid Part II (1986) Comedy Central 3:00pm-5:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
High-kicking teenager Daniel accompanies his venerable mentor Mr Miyagi when he returns to the Japanese province of Okinawa to visit his dying father. However, an old rival of Miyagi’s is waiting for them, while Daniel is drawn into a vicious conflict with their enemy’s own karate protege. Martial arts sequel, starring Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita and Yuji Okumoto.

The Karate Kid TShirts

School of Rock (2003) Film4 4:25pm-6:35pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A slobbish guitarist dreams of stardom, but his hopes are dashed when the other members of his band kick him out. Struggling to make ends meet, he takes a job as a supply teacher at an exclusive private school, and sets about moulding his pupils into rock gods. Comedy from director Richard Linklater, starring Jack Black, Joan Cusack, Mike White and Sarah Silverman.

Fun Fact: The idea for the movie came when writer Mike White moved into an apartment next to Jack Black. White would often find Jack Black running naked through the halls or blasting much of the music featured in the movie at full volume.

You’ve Got Mail (1998) ITV2 5:05pm-6:10pm (1 hour 5 minutes)
Two rivals in the bookshop business fall in love over the internet, unaware they know and dislike each other in the real world. While things remain frosty in person, the pair’s anonymous online relationship continues to blossom. Romantic comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey and Dabney Coleman.

Smokey and the Bandit II (1980) Dave 4:55pm-7:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The maverick haulier must overcome a crisis of confidence when he and his friends are hired to transport a pregnant elephant to Texas, a mammoth task that proves far from easy, especially with their old enemy in hot pursuit. Road comedy, with Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Dom DeLuise and Sally Field.

The ‘Burbs (1989) 5STAR 6:00pm-8:00pm (2 hours)
The arrival of secretive neighbours sparks an unhealthy curiosity in a group of friends, leading them to go to bizarre lengths to discover the truth about the newcomers. However, their investigations take an even weirder twist when they begin to suspect their unseen fellow suburbanites are part of a cannibalistic cult. Joe Dante’s black comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher, Corey Feldman and Henry Gibson.

On Her Majesty’s Secret Service (1969) ITV4 7:00pm-8:10pm (1 hour 10 minutes) 2 parts
James Bond is sent on a mission to track down master criminal and arch-enemy Blofeld, who is intent on destroying world peace by means of a lethal virus unless he receives an international amnesty for his crimes. Spy adventure, starring George Lazenby in his only outing as 007, alongside Telly Savalas, Diana Rigg and Gabrielle Ferzetti.

Star Trek (2009) Film4 6:35pm-9:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
The trainee crew members of the starship Enterprise embark on their maiden flight, which pits them against a Romulan commander from the future who is planning a horrific revenge on those he blames for a tragedy in his own time. Sci-fi adventure based on the original TV series, starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Eric Bana, Zoe Saldana and Leonard Nimoy.

Star Trek Merchandise

The Fly (1986) Syfy 10:00pm-12:00am (2 hours)
A scientist invents a teleportation machine, but as he prepares to test the apparatus on himself he is unaware that a housefly is inside the system with him. The experiment causes his body to splice genetically with the insect, leading to a terrifying and grotesque transformation. David Cronenberg’s remake of the 1950s horror, starring Jeff Goldblum, Geena Davis and John Getz.

Alien (1979) Channel 4 11:25pm-1:40am (2 hours 15 minutes)
Crew members of a cargo spacecraft answer a distress call from a derelict alien vessel. However, their mission of mercy has fatal repercussions when a deadly, seemingly indestructible monster gets on board their ship and starts killing them one by one. Ridley Scott’s sci-fi horror, starring Sigourney Weaver, Tom Skerritt, Ian Holm and John Hurt.

Alien TShirts

SUNDAY 8th May

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The Big Lebowski
(1998) ITV4 1:15am-2:20am (1 hour 5 minutes) 2 parts
A case of mistaken identity forces an ageing hippie to divide his time between trying to win a bowling tournament and searching for a wealthy industrialist’s kidnapped wife, while getting involved with assorted oddball characters in the process. The Coen brothers’ comedy, starring Jeff Bridges, John Goodman, Julianne Moore, Steve Buscemi, David Huddleston, Philip Seymour Hoffman and John Turturro.

The Secret of My Success (1987) ITV3 6:10am-7:20am (1 hour 10 minutes) 2 parts
A naive country boy travels to New York to make his fortune, only to end up working in a corporation’s mail room. He chances on a vacant office and hatches a plan to pass himself off as a top-ranking executive, but leading a double life proves harder than expected. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, Helen Slater, Richard Jordan and Fred Gwynne.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) Channel 5 2:00pm-3:35pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
An eccentric but brilliant former cop sets himself up to champion the underdog – as a private eye specialising in locating missing animals. The zany detective is called in to find a kidnapped dolphin – the mascot of an American football team – and uncovers a plot involving high-level police corruption. Comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Courteney Cox, Sean Young, Tone Loc and Noble Willingham.

The Fifth Element (1997) Channel 5 3:35pm-5:55pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman.

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991) Channel 5 6:00pm-9:00pm (3 hours)
An English nobleman returns home from the crusades to find his father has been murdered and the local people are repressed by the tyrannical rule of the Sheriff of Nottingham. Branded an outlaw, he recruits a group of bandits to fight for justice and protect the downtrodden. Action adventure, starring Kevin Costner, Alan Rickman, Morgan Freeman and Mary Elizabeth Mastrantonio.

Speed (1994) Film4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An LAPD cop discovers a psychopathic criminal has planted a bomb on a crowded bus, primed to go off if the vehicle drops below 50mph. He boards the vehicle and helps the hapless passenger who has been forced to take the wheel to keep a constant speed to avoid a disaster. Action thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Dennis Hopper and Jeff Daniels.

Weird Science (1985) GOLD 11:40pm-1:35am (1 hour 55 minutes)
Two sexually frustrated teenagers use their computer to design the perfect woman, but are ill prepared for the outcome when their creation comes to life. She decides to make men of them, by putting them in a series of situations that will force them to stand up for themselves. John Hughes’ sci-fi comedy, starring Kelly LeBrock, Anthony Michael Hall, Ilan Mitchell-Smith, Robert Downey Jr and Bill Paxton.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep it breezy and remember to hit save. Always hit save.
xoxo

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