The Fifth Element

Yay! Weekend time again folks, Thank the god of weekends because they have packed it to the brim for us movie loving geeks. From adventuring archaeologists, teenage wizardry, shrimp boat captains, teenage romantics and firemen, it’s a fine time to stay in with us so put your feet up and completely immerse yourself in this weekends retro extravaganza. Enjoy yourself folks!

SATURDAY 18th November

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Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) ITV2 2:00pm-3:50pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

The Fifth Element (1997) 5STAR 4:40pm-7:10pm
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman.

Dante’s Peak (1997) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A vulcanologist’s suspicions that a long-dormant volcano is about to erupt turn out to be true, prompting him to race against time to save the community standing in its way – and clash with local government officials weighing his predictions against the loss in tourism revenue. Disaster movie, starring Pierce Brosnan, Linda Hamilton, Elizabeth Hoffman and Charles Hallahan.

Stephen King’s It (1990) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-12:50am (3 hours 50 minutes)
A boy’s murder alerts seven friends that a supernatural enemy they fought as children has returned. But after 30 years apart, the reluctant heroes struggle to overcome their worst fears and find the courage necessary to defeat such an inhuman force. Horror, starring Tim Curry, Richard Thomas, Tim Reid, John Ritter and Olivia Hussey.

Darkman (1990) Film4 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
A scientist working on synthetic skin is horribly disfigured and left for dead by a criminal gang. Now unable to feel pain, he continues his research, creating artificial faces that will last for only a short time. He uses these disguises to aid him in taking revenge on those who mutilated him – while also using a mask of his own face to see the girlfriend who thinks he died. Thriller, starring Liam Neeson and Frances McDormand.

First Blood (1982) ITV 10:55pm-12:40am (1 hour 45 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo is wrongfully arrested in a backwoods town and tested to the limits of his endurance by a brutal deputy. Rambo escapes from his cell and heads out to the woods, and with the forces of the law in hot pursuit he finally has the chance to fight them on his own terms. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Brian Dennehy, Richard Crenna and David Caruso.

Aliens (1986) Film4 11:00pm-2:05am (3 hours 5 minutes)
Lone survivor Ripley is rescued in deep space decades after an alien creature wiped out her ship’s entire crew. She is recruited to accompany a military expedition to a colony on the planet where she first encountered the monster, only to find the aliens have been reproducing and there are now hordes of them. James Cameron’s sci-fi thriller sequel, with Sigourney Weaver, Michael Biehn and Lance Henriksen.

SUNDAY 19th November

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Carry On Screaming (1966) ITV 11:05am-12:55pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A sinister boffin, his sultry sister and two genetic misfits kidnap innocent women from spooky Hocomb Woods and turn them into mannequins – but two dim-witted detectives look set to throw a spanner in the works. Comedy horror, starring Kenneth Williams, Fenella Fielding, Harry H Corbett, Charles Hawtrey, Jim Dale, Joan Sims and Bernard Bresslaw.

A Walk in the Clouds (1995) Sony Movie Channel 4:10pm-6:25pm
A salesman, recently returned from the Second World War, meets a pregnant woman who is anxious about going back to live on her strict parents’ vineyard, so he agrees to pose as her husband to calm the waters. But once there, he is reluctant to give up the pleasures of the simple life, despite having a real wife back home. Romantic drama, starring Keanu Reeves, Aitana Sanchez-Gijon and Anthony Quinn.

Fun Fact: Keanu Reeves was injured during a friendly game of hockey with his friends during spare time. His lip was split, requiring six stitches. In his next scheduled scene, a love scene with Debra Messing, he was quoted as saying to her: “please don’t hurt me.”

Men in Black II (2002) Channel 4 5:20pm-7:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Agent J investigates the unauthorised landing of a spacecraft and discovers a malevolent alien disguised as a lingerie model is on the verge of destroying humanity. His only hope of stopping her diabolical plot is to restore the memory of his retired partner K – but his former mentor takes more than a little convincing. Sci-fi comedy sequel, directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Rosario Dawson, Lara Flynn Boyle, Johnny Knoxville, Rip Torn and Tony Shalhoub.

Cliffhanger (1993) ITV4 9:00pm-11:15pm
A retired mountain rescue expert is drawn into a battle of wits with a psychopathic criminal searching for a $100million fortune lost in the Rockies – and puts his life on the line as he negotiates the treacherous mountains in a bid to stay one step ahead of the crook. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, Janine Turner and Michael Rooker.

Hard to Kill (1990) ITV4 11:15pm-1:20am
A gang of drug dealers attacks the home of a Los Angeles cop, leaving him in a coma and his wife dead. Seven years later, he regains consciousness and gets ready to exact a grisly payback on the murderers. As he embarks on his deadly mission of vengeance, he learns his son also survived the attack, but was told he is dead. Thriller, with Steven Seagal, Kelly LeBrock, Bill Sadler and Frederick Coffin.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget to wipe your feet and always keep both shoes together when not wearing them. It’s a nightmare otherwise.

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Great towering heights! Another retro movie weekend had landed and is here to guide us through the weekend like a trusty friend who just always seems to make life more fun.

Swipe, pinch and stroke, we find ourselves facing what seems like a never ending wall of soft but sturdy carpet. Running our hands along each piece as if we’re walking a field of tall grass, we eventually stumble upon the most perfect of them all. The right feel, the right colour and at just the right price, we quickly size up and order our fabric of choice before another shade steals our hearts again.

SATURDAY 30th September

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Babe
(1995) ITV2 1:55pm-3:45pm
A kindly farmer wins a cute piglet, which some greedy humans and jealous animals hope will end up as the Christmas roast. Undaunted, the young pig proves himself useful on the farm and enlists the aid of the resident dog in learning how to herd sheep. Family comedy, starring James Cromwell and Magda Szubanski, with Christine Cavanaugh, Miriam Margolyes and Hugo Weaving among those providing the voices of the animal characters.

Thunderbirds Are Go! (1966) Film4 3:05pm-4:55pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
International Rescue is called in to save the first manned space mission to Mars from sinister hijacker The Hood, and ensure a second attempt goes to plan. Puppet adventure based on Gerry Anderson’s TV series, featuring the voices of Shane Rimmer, Ray Barrett, Alexander Davion, Peter Dyneley, Sylvia Anderson and Cliff Richard, voicing a puppet version of himself.

Thunderbirds Merchandise

Dr Dolittle (1998) Film4 4:55pm-6:35pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A doctor is stunned to discover he can talk to animals, and it is not long before his home and surgery are taken over by an assortment of ailing creatures in need of help. However, when the medic’s odd behaviour attracts his colleagues’ attention, he is forced to rely on his new-found furry friends to save him from the asylum. Comedy, starring Eddie Murphy, Ossie Davis and Oliver Platt.

The Fifth Element (1997) Channel 5 6:35pm-9:00pm
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman.

Volcano (1997) E4 8:00pm-10:00pm (2 hours)
A river of molten lava spews from an erupting volcano onto the streets of Los Angeles, prompting the head of a crisis agency to team up with an intrepid scientist in a frantic and dangerous bid to save the city’s residents. Disaster thriller, starring Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, Gaby Hoffmann, Keith David and Don Cheadle.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) Film4 9:00pm-12:00am (3 hours)
The heroic autobots discover that a spaceship from their own planet crashed into the moon decades ago, carrying their former leader and an incredibly powerful device. They must fight to defend the human race as their enemies the decepticons plot to use this machine to rebuild their own world and destroy the Earth. Sci-fi adventure sequel, with Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

Transformers TShirts

SUNDAY 1st October

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Never Been Kissed
(1999) E4 3:00pm-5:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A clumsy 25-year-old would-be reporter is given the chance to prove herself when she is sent on an assignment to get an inside take on high-school life. However, when she falls for an English teacher, she has trouble maintaining the facade of a calm and sophisticated young lady, as all the bad memories of her awkward younger days come flooding back. Romantic comedy, with Drew Barrymore, Michael Vartan and David Arquette.

Big Daddy (1999) Sony Movie Channel 4:30pm-6:35pm
An immature 32-year-old is heartbroken when his girlfriend walks out on him. In a plan to win her back, he volunteers to look after his flatmate’s five-year-old son, thus demonstrating he is finally ready to grow up. However, his ideas of childcare prove unconventional and chaos quickly ensues. Comedy, with Adam Sandler, Joey Lauren Adams, Jon Stewart, Josh Mostel, Leslie Mann, Rob Schneider and Kristy Swanson, alongside Steve Buscemi in a cameo role.

Crocodile Dundee (1986) Film4 7:05pm-9:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A New York reporter searches the Australian Outback for a maverick hunter with a legendary reputation, and invites the adventurer back to America. But the die-hard Aussie needs to draw on all his survival skills to adjust to life in the urban jungle. Comedy adventure, written by and starring Paul Hogan, with Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Mark Blum.

Enemy at the Gates (2001) Spike 10:05pm-11:30pm (1 hour 25 minutes)
A Soviet sniper becomes a national hero during the Second World War Battle of Stalingrad, so the Germans enlist a crack marksman of their own to deal with him. A lethal contest of wits follows as the two sharpshooters stalk each other, while the Russian also finds himself caught up in a love triangle with one of his friends. Drama, starring Jude Law, Ed Harris, Rachel Weisz, Joseph Fiennes, Bob Hoskins and Ron Perlman.

Under Siege (1992) Channel 5 11:25pm-1:20am (1 hour 55 minutes)
Terrorists infiltrate a US battleship in a carefully orchestrated move to steal its arsenal of nuclear weapons, unaware the ship’s resourceful cook – a veteran US Navy Seal – and a scantily clad stripper are about to foil their plans. Action adventure, starring Steven Seagal, Erika Eleniak, Gary Busey and Tommy Lee Jones.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget to empty the bag afterwards and always keep space ready on the memory card. You never know.

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Grow bags and watering cans! Another retro movie weekend is here and boy is it a beauty!

Ripping open the top of our little bag of brown, earthy growing gold…. we’ll pick out the finest seeds in the pack to plunge down into the soft wet soil. Watering just the perfect amount and giving them all the sun our current weather can afford, we’ll wait patiently for untold growing glory to begin. Within just a few weeks, we can see signs of the impending deliciousness which sends our excitement rising with every new shoot that appears. Will we have created vegetable magic? Or will we have nothing more than a few small lumps of starchy matter… only time will tell.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 12th August

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Dr Dolittle 2
(2001) Film4 2:40pm-4:20pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The vet with a talent for talking to animals comes to the aid of forest creatures that need his help protecting their homes from land developers. He also has to deal with the love life of a circus bear that has fallen for a wild female. Comedy sequel, starring Eddie Murphy and Kevin Pollak, with the voices of Steve Zahn, Lisa Kudrow and Isaac Hayes.

Uncle Buck (1989) ITV 3:10pm-5:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
An unreliable but good-natured slob is called upon to look after his trouble-making nephew and nieces while their parents are away – and what starts as a disaster soon changes for the better as the unlikely babysitter gets to grips with the finer points of being a responsible adult. Family comedy, starring John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Kelly, Gaby Hoffman, Amy Madigan and Laurie Metcalf.

Liar Liar (1997) ITV2 4:15pm-5:55pm
A lawyer, whose underhand ploys to win cases leave him little time to see his son, discovers he is incapable of lying after the boy’s birthday wish makes his dad tell only the truth. However, this causes a host of problems as the attorney tries to muddle his way through a high-profile divorce settlement. Comedy, with Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Jennifer Tilly and Cary Elwes.

Look Who’s Talking (1989) 5STAR 5:25pm-7:20pm
Pregnant Mollie is dumped by her boyfriend, and sets out after the baby’s birth to find a surrogate father for her infant son Mikey, who comments on proceedings through a wisecracking inner monologue. Mikey is confident the cab driver who helped deliver him is the perfect man for the job – but his mother is less than convinced. Comedy, with John Travolta, Kirstie Alley and the voice of Bruce Willis.

Fun Fact: Amy Heckerling was inspired to write the film after her husband and writer Neal Israel started playfully talking in a different voice to pretend what their new baby would say.

The American President (1995) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:25pm (1 hour 25 minutes)
The US president embarks on a relationship with an environmental lobbyist – but his delighted opponents jump at the chance to drag the pair through the gutter press, putting their romance and his career in jeopardy. Rob Reiner’s political comedy, starring Michael Douglas, Annette Bening, Martin Sheen, Richard Dreyfuss and Michael J Fox.

Austin Powers: The Spy Who S*****d Me (1999) Dave 10:00pm-12:00am (2 hours)
The sex-mad spy is sent back to swinging London at the height of the 1960s in pursuit of the dastardly Dr Evil, who has stolen the secret agent’s `mojo’. Teaming up with a female American agent, Austin must stop his arch-rival from causing havoc with a doomsday weapon on the moon. Comedy sequel, starring Mike Myers in multiple roles alongside Heather Graham, Rob Lowe, Robert Wagner, Michael York, Seth Green and Verne Troyer.

Tomorrow Never Dies (1997) ITV 10:45pm-1:00am (2 hours 15 minutes)
James Bond joins forces with a Chinese agent to foil a media mogul’s scheme to start a war between their countries. Using an undetectable stealth ship, the press baron plans an attack on both nations’ navies, knowing they will blame each other – giving him exclusive global media coverage of the resulting conflict. Spy adventure, starring Pierce Brosnan, Jonathan Pryce, Teri Hatcher and Michelle Yeoh.

James Bond TShirts

Lock Up (1989) ITV4 11:00pm-1:15am
A convict is transferred to a maximum security prison, where he falls foul of a sadistic warden with a grudge against him – and who abuses his position of power to make the inmate’s life a misery and destroy his good relationship with the guards. Thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Donald Sutherland, Darlanne Fluegel and Tom Sizemore.

SUNDAY 13th August

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Thunderbirds Are Go! (1966) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
International Rescue is called in to save the first manned space mission to Mars from sinister hijacker The Hood, and ensure a second attempt goes to plan. Puppet adventure based on Gerry Anderson’s TV series, featuring the voices of Shane Rimmer, Ray Barrett, Alexander Davion, Peter Dyneley, Sylvia Anderson and Cliff Richard, voicing a puppet version of himself.

Picture Perfect (1997) Film4 1:00pm-3:00pm (2 hours)
An ambitious executive hires a man to pose as her fiance to give her a stable image at work and attract a colleague who is only tempted by unavailable women. However, her fantasy life soon spirals out of control, leaving her unable to tell the difference between fact and fiction. Romantic comedy, with Jennifer Aniston, Jay Mohr, Kevin Bacon, Olympia Dukakis and Illeana Douglas.

Fun Fact: Turns out Matthew Broderick, Jon Stewart, John Corbett, and William Baldwin all screentested for the role of Nick.

Volcano (1997) Channel 4 2:30pm-4:35pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A river of molten lava spews from an erupting volcano onto the streets of Los Angeles, prompting the head of a crisis agency to team up with an intrepid scientist in a frantic and dangerous bid to save the city’s residents. Disaster thriller, starring Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, Gaby Hoffmann, Keith David and Don Cheadle.

See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) Sony Movie Channel 4:35pm-6:50pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A blind man and his deaf friend go on the run to clear themselves of a trumped-up murder charge. However, all kinds of oddball characters are on their trail, determined to get hold of a top-secret microchip that the duo do not realise they have. Comedy, starring Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder, Kevin Spacey, Joan Severance, Alan North and Anthony Zerbe.

The Fifth Element (1997) 5STAR 7:25pm-10:00pm
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010) ITV 7:30pm-10:15pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
The dark lord Voldemort rises to ultimate power over the magical world, so the teenage wizard and his friends set out on a mission to find the magical horcruxes – artefacts containing parts of the evil wizard’s soul that hold the key to destroying him. The first half of the two-part conclusion to the fantasy saga, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Ralph Fiennes, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint.

Harry Potter Deathly Hallows Merchandise

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, be prepared and remember to stop, look around and really take note of the situation, you might see more than you knew was there.

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Crashing waves and soaky wet seaweed! Another retro movie rundown is here to guide you though another weekend!

Slowly bobbing up and down in a vast, cold lake, we find ourselves moments from being pulled along by the magical ropes and bars which are the only thing attaching us to the safety of the boat. Steadying our position with the board stuck firmly to our feet, the rope will begin to tighten in our grip as the boat starts to roar away from us. Feeling the force (not that one!) pull through the arms and legs, mysteriously we will begin to rise our of the depths and with one twist and turn, we will face side on and begin to ride the surface of the water like something from a superhero movie.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 6th May

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The Rugrats Movie (1998) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm
Animation featuring the popular TV cartoon family. Chaos breaks out when Tommy’s kid brother Dil Pickles is born and the toddlers decide that he makes so much noise that they must return him to the hospital for fixing. Then, of course, they manage to get lost on the way.

Superman (1978) ITV4 1:10pm-4:05pm
Oscar-winning fantasy based on the classic comic strip, portraying the early years of the Man of Steel. After his birth on the planet Krypton, Superman (Christopher Reeve) grows up on Earth. He becomes a journalist, but must juggle his job with his secret identity as a powerful superhero and his battles with arch-nemesis Lex Luthor (Gene Hackman). Luthor plans to lay waste to the west coast of America and Superman is the only one who can stop him.

Superman Gifts & Clothing

The Net (1995) E4 2:15pm-4:30pm
Hi-tech thriller about a reclusive computer genius whose life is endangered after she stumbles across some secret material online. When she tries to go back to the documents, access is denied, but her shadowy enemies realise she has copied the restricted information on to disk and set about silencing her permanently.

Short Circuit (1986) Film4 2:40pm-4:40pm
Lighthearted comedy in which an $11 million military robot becomes energised by a freak power overload. When ‘Number Five’ is discovered to be missing, the government immediately launches an all-out search with instructions to destroy the missing contraption. But, having discovered the world around him, the robot decides that he does not want to return to the weapons company from which he escaped.

The Fifth Element (1997) 5STAR 6:25pm-9:00pm
Gripping 23rd-century sci-fi adventure in which a jaded New York cab driver finds himself in the middle of a battle between good and evil when a beautiful young woman falls into his life from another dimension. She is the `fifth element’ – a being who represents all that is good in the universe – and he must protect her from the evil Zorg and his henchmen.

Mrs Doubtfire (1993) Film4 6:35pm-9:00pm
Comedy about a divorced voice-over actor who will try anything to get his family back – even disguising himself as their new housekeeper Mrs Doubtfire. Daniel Hillard is devastated when his ex-wife Miranda is awarded custody of the children, allowing him to see them only on Saturdays. Miranda takes him on as a housekeeper, thinking he is an eccentric Scottish matron, and everyone is happy – until Miranda’s new beau Stu appears.

Aliens (1986) Film4 9:00pm-12:05am
Classic sci-fi thriller sequel directed by James Cameron and starring Sigourney Weaver and Bill Paxton. The tense, Oscar-winning sequel to ‘Alien’ takes Ripley and a team of marines back to the planet where she first encountered the deadly creature which destroyed her crew. Rescued after 57 years adrift in space in suspended animation, Ripley is horrified to learn that the planet has since been colonised and sets out to confirm her worst fears as to why all contact with the planet has been lost.

Demolition Man (1993) Dave 9:00pm-11:15pm
Futuristic adventure about a cryogenically frozen cop who is thawed out when a psychopathic criminal escapes. Violence has been outlawed in the politically correct regime of the 21st century, and the only weapons in existence are consigned to a museum. When the escaped psychopath heads straight for the museum, the authorities decide that only John Spartan – an undesirable but effectively violent cop – can stop the criminal.

SUNDAY 7th May

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Flatliners (1990) BBC1 12:10am-2:00am
Spine-tingling drama about a group of medical students who explore what it is like to die by using drugs to stop their heart and brain activity temporarily. They vie to see who can stay under the longest, but the experiment has serious repercussions.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Channel 4 2:30pm-4:40pm
Fantasy comedy sequel starring Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Sigourney Weaver, Harold Ramis and Rick Moranis. The phantom-fighters return to the streets of New York when they come to the aid of a woman who fears that her baby is the target of ghostly forces. Four years after Dr Peter Venkman broke up with Dana Barrett, she appeals for help to save her son when an arch-demon trapped in an oil painting wants to take over his body. The old team reunites and traces the source of the trouble to a sinister underground river of slime.

Ghostbusters TShirts & Gifts

Diamonds Are Forever (1971) ITV 4:05pm – 6:35pm
Action thriller in which James Bond, equipped with an armoury of hi-tech gadgets, infiltrates a Las Vegas diamond-smuggling ring in a bid to foil a plot to target Washington with a laser in space. But as 007 prepares to tackle the evil Blofeld, the mastermind who threatens to destabilise the world, his attention is drawn to the beautiful Tiffany Case.

James Bond TShirts

The Terminal (2004) BBC Two 5:55pm-8:00pm
Tom Hanks and Catherine Zeta-Jones star in this touching drama based on real events. Viktor Navorski is visiting New York when there is a coup in his eastern European home country. By the time he arrives in America, Navorski is stranded with a passport from nowhere and finds that he is forced to live in the terminal building until peace returns. Flight attendant Amelia is the one redeeming aspect of the situation, but can he win her heart?

Last Action Hero (1993) Sony Movie Channel 6:20pm-9:00pm
Fantasy meets reality in this big-budget action adventure. Eleven-year-old Danny is given a magic ticket by a strange cinema projectionist and is transported into the film he is watching. Thanks to his advance knowledge of the plot, he is able to help his silver-screen hero out of an awkward situation and becomes his partner. But there is trouble in store for the unlikely duo when a villain tries to seize the magic ticket.

Godzilla (1998) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:50pm
Roland Emmerich’s version of the cult Japanese monster movies. On a research trip to Chernobyl, a young scientist discovers a startling link between genetic mutation and radioactivity. Elsewhere, a huge fishing trawler is attacked by an unseen creature from beneath the waves. The scientist soon realises that the creature is heading towards New York City with a lot more than sightseeing in mind. From the makers of ‘Independence Day’.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) Channel 4 8:00pm-10:25pm
Chris Evans, Tommy Lee Jones and Stanley Tucci star in Joe Johnston’s Marvel Comics superhero action adventure, set during the Second World War. Young Steve Rogers is desperate to fight the Nazis, but is continually rejected for military service after failing the tests. His luck changes, however, when he is recruited for a secret programme run by the scientist Erskine. Rogers emerges with superhuman strength, a trademark costume, an indestructible shield and redoubled resolve to fight the good fight. When Erskine is assassinated by a secret Nazi splinter group, led by Red Skull, it is time to put his newly acquired abilities to the test.

Captain America TShirts

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget to save your progress and underestimate the benefits of a hot drink shared with friends.

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Crunchy crisps and dip! Another retro movie weekend is upon us. Let’s go!

With a bump and a flick, we’re plugging back in after many years one of our oldest friends, our first game console. Feeling some of the excitement we first experience upon first ever playing on our shiny new system back in the day, we’ll dust off the bold and clunky hardware which still feels so familiar in our hands before loading up our game of choice. With each load screen, we find our childhood memories loading into our minds as we dive in, as if nothing had changed around us.

SATURDAY 4th MARCH

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Dragnet (1987) Dave 2:00pm-4:00pm (2 hours)
A by-the-book Los Angeles cop is paired with a laidback new partner to investigate the nefarious activities of a TV evangelist and a pornographic-magazine baron suspected of operating a criminal cult. Comedy spoof of the 1950s TV series, starring Dan Aykroyd, Tom Hanks, Christopher Plummer and the original show’s star Harry Morgan.

Casper (1995) Film4 4:55pm-6:55pm (2 hours)
A paranormal expert moves into a haunted house where his daughter befriends the amiable ghost of a young boy – but things start to go awry when three smelly spooks and two dastardly crooks try to chase the new residents away. Family comedy, starring Christina Ricci, Bill Pullman, Eric Idle, Cathy Moriarty and featuring the voice of Malachi Pearson.

Mission: Impossible (1996) E4 5:00pm-7:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Secret agents suspect there is a traitor in their organisation when their latest assignment ends in disaster. The sole survivor is accused of being the mole, forcing him to go on the run to clear his name. However, in the process, he discovers a former Russian spy is selling information about the world’s leading undercover operatives. Action thriller based on the 1960s TV series, starring Tom Cruise, Jon Voight and Ving Rhames.

Kindergarten Cop (1990) ITV2 5:45pm-8:00pm
A tough detective is forced to pose as a preschool teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson.

X-Men (2000) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Super-powered outsiders Rogue and Wolverine find themselves at a school for mutants which is run by a benevolent psychic professor. While there, they agree to join others with similar gifts to take on a superhuman mutant terrorist faction intent on establishing dominance over mankind. Sci-fi comic-book adventure, starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Anna Paquin and Halle Berry.

Superhero Merchandise

First Blood (1982) ITV 10:55pm-12:40am (1 hour 45 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo is wrongfully arrested in a backwoods town and tested to the limits of his endurance by a brutal deputy. Rambo escapes from his cell and heads out to the woods, and with the forces of the law in hot pursuit he finally has the chance to fight them on his own terms. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Brian Dennehy, Richard Crenna and David Caruso.

Jackie Brown (1997) ITV4 11:00pm-2:05am
An air hostess is arrested for smuggling drugs and money into the US for a local arms dealer. Realising her life may be in danger she leaves jail with a plan to stay one step ahead by playing the criminal and the police off against each other. Quentin Tarantino’s crime drama, based on the novel Rum Punch by Elmore Leonard, starring Pam Grier, Robert Forster, Robert De Niro, Samuel L Jackson, Bridget Fonda, Michael Keaton and Michael Bowen.

SUNDAY 5th MARCH

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The Fifth Element (1997) Channel 5 11:50am-2:10pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman.

Hook (1991) Sony Channel 12:15pm-3:30pm (3 hours 15 minutes)
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Spies Like Us (1985) Channel 5 2:10pm-4:10pm (2 hours)
Two incompetent US State Department officials are unwittingly used as decoys on a deadly mission to thwart Soviet activity in Pakistan. Unfortunately, their involvement in such a delicate operation brings the world to the brink of nuclear war. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Forrest, Bruce Davison and Donna Dixon.

Last Action Hero (1993) Sony Channel 6:20pm-9:00pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
A boy watching an action movie is transported into the film by a magic ticket and meets its hero figure, who refuses to believe he is a fictional character. Matters take a turn for the worse when the screen villain gets hold of the ticket and crosses over into the real world – where bad guys can win. Comedy adventure, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin O’Brien, Charles Dance, F Murray Abraham and Anthony Quinn.

The Fly (1986) Sony Channel 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
A scientist invents a teleportation machine, but as he prepares to test the apparatus on himself he is unaware that a housefly is inside the system with him. The experiment causes his body to splice genetically with the insect, leading to a terrifying and grotesque transformation. David Cronenberg’s remake of the 1950s horror, starring Jeff Goldblum, Geena Davis and John Getz.

Point Break (1991) Spike 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
An FBI agent infiltrates a Californian surfing gang suspected of carrying out a series of armed robberies wearing masks modelled on former US presidents. However, his loyalties are tested to the limits when he is befriended by the gang’s leader. Kathryn Bigelow’s thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, Gary Busey and Lori Petty.

Face/Off (1997) AMC 11:05pm-2:00am (2 hours 55 minutes)
FBI agent Sean Archer captures terrorist Castor Troy, the man who killed his son. While Troy is in a coma, Archer has the crook’s face surgically grafted onto his own so he can go undercover and locate a bomb planted somewhere in Los Angeles. But then Troy regains consciousness – and in turn takes on Archer’s identity. John Woo’s action thriller, starring Nicolas Cage, John Travolta, Joan Allen, Gina Gershon and Dominique Swain.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, stay dry, stay warm and stay awesome!

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Alphabetti Spaghetti! Looks like the Weekend to me!

Once Upon a cloudy sky. Amongst a thick hazy Forrest, sat hunched over on a hollowed out log, gazing wearily over a steaming boggy marsh. Let us be your be-shaggled woodland Troll as we dribble, droll and blow snot bubbles in anticipation of something slimy and squidgy or boney and crunchy to eat. We’ll be poised and ready to pounce onto some cinematic greatness, we’ll prepare our nasty nosh with herbs and sprinkles of movie magic before we devoir the whole thing in one single gulp and belch out some celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 11th JANUARY

Stargate (1994) 5*  5:10pm-7:30pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
An Egyptologist and a soldier head an expedition through a mysterious portal to an alien planet. The world they find resembles ancient Egypt and is under the rule of a tyrant who has convinced the downtrodden inhabitants that he is a god – until the humans incite the enslaved populace to fight back. Sci-fi adventure, starring Kurt Russell, James Spader and Jaye Davidson

The Fifth Element (1997) 5*  7:30pm-10:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman

Saving Private Ryan (1998) More4  10:00pm-1:25am (3 hours 25 minutes)
In the aftermath of the Normandy landings, a group of American soldiers scours the battlefields of France in search of a missing infantryman, who has been given compassionate leave to return home because his brothers have been killed in the conflict. Steven Spielberg’s Oscar-winning Second World War drama, starring Tom Hanks, Tom Sizemore, Edward Burns, Matt Damon, Barry Pepper and Vin Diesel

Dogma (1999) Film4  9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Two fallen angels banished to Earth discover a theological loophole could get them back into Heaven – except their plan will cause the world’s destruction. It falls to a lapsed Catholic woman to stop them, with the aid of two so-called prophets, a muse-turned-stripper and a forgotten 13th apostle. Kevin Smith’s comedy fantasy, starring Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Linda Fiorentino, Salma Hayek, Jason Lee and Alan Rickman

SUNDAY 12th JANUARY

Space Jam (1996) Channel 5  3:30pm-5:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Aliens arrive on Earth to abduct the Looney Tunes gang as a new attraction at their failing intergalactic theme park. To keep their freedom, Bugs Bunny and friends challenge the invaders to a high-stakes basketball game, calling on Michael Jordan to save the day and send the extraterrestrials back where they came from. Live action and animated comedy, starring Bill Murray and Danny DeVito, with the voices of Billy West and Bill Farmer

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992) Film4  3:25pm-5:10pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A scientist perfects a device for making objects grow when they come into contact with electricity. Unfortunately, his two-year-old son is accidentally turned into a giant and goes on the rampage through the streets of Las Vegas. Disney comedy sequel, starring Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman, Robert Oliveri and Lloyd Bridges

Coming to America (1988) Film4  9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A bored African prince defies his father’s plans for an arranged marriage and escapes to the USA to find a bride on his own terms. Comedy, starring Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in several roles, with James Earl Jones, Allison Dean, Eriq La Salle and Madge Sinclair

Sixteen Candles (1985) Film4  11:15pm-1:10am (1 hour 55 minutes)
A teenager’s parents forget her birthday, so she tries to get over her disappointment by searching for the man of her dreams, unaware she’s looking in the wrong place. Comedy drama, starring Molly Ringwald, Justin Henry and Anthony Michael Hall

Whatever you get your filthy mitts on this weekend, remember never stare a Gorilla in the eye and always enjoy yourselves.

xoxo

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