The Princess Bride

Great balls of fire! It’s time for another instalment of our weekly retro movie rundown and this one has got us pretty excited!

Preheating the oven to a toasty 180, we will begin our journey to soft, warm baking glory with some simple scales and ingredients. Turning some basic looking matter into something which will fill our home with a smell from our childhood and will produce one of the most simple pleasures we can create. Weighing, measuring, mixing and kneading our way to a perfect dough, we will slide our creation into the fiery food box. Awaiting for mystic food science to happen, will our bread be as soft, fluffy and scrumptious as we imagined? Only one way to find out!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 5th August

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Look Who’s Talking Too (1990) Sony Movie Channel 9:00am-10:40am
Wisecracking toddler Mikey is joined by mischievous baby sister Julie and sibling rivalry inevitably erupts – while their parents have problems of their own to deal with, in the shape of the kids’ good-for-nothing uncle. Comedy sequel, starring John Travolta and Kirstie Alley, with the voices of Bruce Willis and Rosanne Barr.

The Princess Bride (1987) 5STAR 11:50am-1:50pm
A cynical youngster becomes entranced by his grandfather’s magical tales, which revolve around a stable-boy’s heroic quest to rescue his lost love from the clutches of an evil prince, with the aid of a vengeance-seeking Spanish swashbuckler and his hulking sidekick. Rob Reiner’s comic fantasy adventure, with Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, Mandy Patinkin, Peter Falk and Fred Savage.

Willow (1988) 5STAR 2:50pm-5:15pm
A farmer with dreams of becoming a wizard finds an abandoned baby, who is destined to bring about the downfall of an evil queen. The wicked tyrant’s minions have been sent to kill the child before she can fulfil the prophecy, and it falls to the would-be sorcerer to protect her, with the aid of a rogue warrior. Fantasy adventure, starring Warwick Davis and Val Kilmer.

Hook (1991) Sony Movie Channel 3:05pm-6:10pm
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) Spike 4:45pm-7:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Two notorious outlaws’ routine of bank and train robberies is cut short when a seemingly unstoppable posse is formed to catch them. The pair plan to flee America and start a new life in Bolivia, with the Sundance Kid’s schoolmistress lover in tow – but staying ahead of the law is not so easy. Western, starring Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Katharine Ross.

Last Action Hero (1993) Sony Movie Channel 6:20pm-9:00pm
A boy watching an action movie is transported into the film by a magic ticket and meets its hero figure, who refuses to believe he is a fictional character. Matters take a turn for the worse when the screen villain gets hold of the ticket and crosses over into the real world – where bad guys can win. Comedy adventure, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin O’Brien, Charles Dance, F Murray Abraham and Anthony Quinn.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Gifts

Liar Liar (1997) ITV2 7:15pm-9:00pm
A lawyer, whose underhand ploys to win cases leave him little time to see his son, discovers he is incapable of lying after the boy’s birthday wish makes his dad tell only the truth. However, this causes a host of problems as the attorney tries to muddle his way through a high-profile divorce settlement. Comedy, with Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Jennifer Tilly and Cary Elwes.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) ITV4 9:00pm-11:45pm
A reprogrammed killing machine is sent back in time to the 20th century to protect John Connor, a teenage boy whose destiny is to save the human race. After breaking John’s mother out of a mental institution, the pair set out to avert a future nuclear war – pursued by an advanced prototype terminator with shape-changing powers. Sci-fi action adventure sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong and Robert Patrick.

GoldenEye (1995) ITV 10:50pm-1:20am (2 hours 30 minutes)
James Bond heads for Russia to investigate the connection between the theft of an experimental helicopter and an orbital satellite weapon with the power to devastate entire cities. He discovers both have fallen into the hands of a mysterious criminal mastermind with a grudge against Britain and a connection with 007′s past. Spy adventure, with Pierce Brosnan, Sean Bean, Izabella Scorupco and Famke Janssen.

James Bond Merchandise

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) BBC1 11:55pm-1:30am (1 hour 35 minutes)
Four teenagers accidentally run over a stranger and hide the body rather than inform the authorities, only to find themselves stalked the following year by a shadowy figure who takes great delight in disposing of them in a variety of gruesome ways. Horror, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Freddie Prinze Jr and Anne Heche.

SUNDAY 6th August

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Short Circuit (1986) Film4 1:00pm-3:00pm (2 hours)
A military robot is struck by lightning and develops a mind of its own. The machine embarks on a series of comic misadventures, but the company that made him want him back. He realises his only hope is to convince the scientist who invented him that he really is alive. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Steve Guttenberg, Ally Sheedy and Fisher Stevens.

The Borrowers (1997) Film4 3:00pm-4:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A family of four-inch-high people living beneath the floorboards of an ordinary human home help the owner’s son fight back when a dastardly lawyer plans to demolish the house and make way for a luxury apartment block. Children’s fantasy, starring John Goodman, Jim Broadbent, Celia Imrie, Flora Newbigin and Tom Felton.

A Bug’s Life (1998) ITV2 5:10pm-7:15pm
Well-meaning ant Flik lands his colony in trouble when he accidentally disposes of an offering meant for a swarm of greedy grasshoppers – who promptly promise a horrible revenge. Faced with the imminent destruction of the anthill, he sets out to save the situation by enlisting the help of a few would-be heroes – an out-of-work troupe of bugs from a low-rent flea circus. Pixar animation, with the voices of Dave Foley, Kevin Spacey and Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

Dirty Dancing (1987) Channel 5 5:10pm-7:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) ITV 7:30pm-10:25pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
The young wizard is given the task of uncovering the secrets of Lord Voldemort’s past as the evil sorcerer’s henchmen cause havoc in both the magical and Muggle worlds. With the help of headmaster Dumbledore, Harry ventures into the memories of those who knew the Dark Lord during his early years, hoping to gain an insight into the secret behind his apparent immortality. However, Voldemort’s influence extends much closer to home than expected, as Harry’s rival Malfoy is chosen to carry out a sinister mission. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Michael Gambon, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Tom Felton and Alan Rickman.

Harry Potter Merchandise

Cliffhanger (1993) ITV4 9:00pm-11:10pm
A retired mountain rescue expert is drawn into a battle of wits with a psychopathic criminal searching for a $100million fortune lost in the Rockies – and puts his life on the line as he negotiates the treacherous mountains in a bid to stay one step ahead of the crook. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, Janine Turner and Michael Rooker.

Point Break (1991) Channel 5 11:05pm-1:15am (2 hours 10 minutes)
An FBI agent infiltrates a Californian surfing gang suspected of carrying out a series of armed robberies wearing masks modelled on former US presidents. However, his loyalties are tested to the limits when he is befriended by the gang’s leader. Kathryn Bigelow’s thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, Gary Busey and Lori Petty.

Mars Attacks! (1996) ITV4 11:10pm-1:20am
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, stay smart and remember that we’re all trying to get somewhere, making your journey easier if often done by making someone else’s too.

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Raindrops and roses! Another retro movie weekend is here and boy are we excited!

As the eager movies goers begin to appear and take positions, the excitement will begin to rise as we inch closer to the opening moment with every passing second. Getting comfortable, food and drinks at the ready, we’ll wait in anticipation for the big white screen to light up and take us away to far and distant lands packed with adventure. We’ll boo the baddies and cheer the heroes as we briefly escape the real world to a place where anything is possible.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 3rd September

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The Princess Bride
(1987) 5STAR 12:35pm-2:40pm
A cynical youngster becomes entranced by his grandfather’s magical tales, which revolve around a stable-boy’s heroic quest to rescue his lost love from the clutches of an evil prince, with the aid of a vengeance-seeking Spanish swashbuckler and his hulking sidekick. Rob Reiner’s comic fantasy adventure, with Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, Mandy Patinkin, Peter Falk and Fred Savage.

The Princess Bride Clothing

Inspector Gadget (1999) Film4 2:50pm-4:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A clumsy security guard is critically injured during a run-in with a thief, so his cybernetics-expert employer transforms him into the ultimate crime-fighting machine – a bionic officer with an array of gadgets and weaponry cunningly concealed inside his body. Disney comedy adventure based on the 1980s cartoon series, starring Matthew Broderick, Rupert Everett and Joely Fisher.

Fun Fact: Not only did Brendan Fraser turn down the role of Gadget due to working on George of the Jungle (1997), Lindsay Lohan also turned down the role of Penny, due to working on her first movie, Disney’s The Parent Trap (1998).

Bean (1997) ITV2 5:15pm-7:05pm
The hapless fool is employed as a security guard for a British art gallery and is sent to Los Angeles to bring back a famous painting. Unfortunately, he finds himself mistaken for a renowned art professor and invited to make an important presentation. Mel Smith’s British comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Burt Reynolds, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Peter Capaldi and June Brown.

Mr Bean Merchandise

A League of Their Own (1992) Film4 6:25pm-9:00pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
An alcoholic former professional player reluctantly agrees to train an all-female baseball team during the Second World War. With star player Dottie Hinson and her sister Kit on board, they look set to dominate the league – until sibling rivalry rears its head. Comedy drama, starring Geena Davis, Lori Petty, Tom Hanks and Madonna.

SUNDAY 4th September

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Zoolander
(2001) Dave 1:00pm-2:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Dim male model Derek Zoolander is stunned to find his career going downhill thanks to the arrival of an equally vacuous rival – but fails to realise he is merely a pawn in a dangerous game of international espionage and world domination. Comedy, starring Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Milla Jovovich, Christine Taylor and David Duchovny.

Grease 2 (1982) Film4 6:45pm-9:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A shy English boy joins the senior class at Rydell High and immediately falls for the leader of the Pink Ladies. But she is only interested in tough guys, forcing him to adopt a dual identity as a mysterious biker. Musical sequel, starring Michelle Pfeiffer, Maxwell Caulfield, Lorna Luft, Eve Arden and Sid Caesar, with Didi Conn reprising her role as Frenchy from the original film.

Grease Clothing

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) Comedy Central 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An eccentric but brilliant former cop sets himself up to champion the underdog – as a private eye specialising in locating missing animals. The zany detective is called in to find a kidnapped dolphin – the mascot of an American football team – and uncovers a plot involving high-level police corruption. Comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Courteney Cox, Sean Young, Tone Loc and Noble Willingham.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget to water the plants and always take a key.
xoxo

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Action-packed, funny and light-hearted, it’s not wonder that 1987′s The Princess Bride is still as much loved now s it has ever been. Being packed with sooo many classic quotes including that one has possibly helped just a touch too!

So! Let us dive head first into the pool of frankly inconceivable facts about this classic with our 10 Things You (Probably) Didn’t Know About The Princess Bride. Enjoy!

1. Neither Cary Elwes or Mandy Patinkin had any sword-fighting experience before filming. Both trained rigorously, and every frame of Inigo and Westley’s sword fight on The Cliffs of Insanity is actually the two actors.

2. The music came with a quirky catch.

Director Rob Reiner wanted Mark Knopfler from Dire Straits to write the music for the movie. He agreed, on one condition: That Reiner put the hat that he wore in ‘This Is Spinal Tap’ in the film. He did, and it appears in the grandson’s bedroom.

3. Not everything is fake!

Remember when Westley recognises Count Rugen as the six-fingered man and he then hits him with the butt of his sword? Well, after a few takes of not-so-convincing fake attempts they decide to go for it. Landing it a little too heavy, Elwes was literally knocked unconscious for real and later wakes up in hospital. This is the cut that was used for the final edit.

4. It really wasn’t an instant hit.

Turns out not! Grossing just under double it’s total budget in the US, The Princess Bride didn’t really come good until it’s later release on good old VHS when it finally reached millions of homes and jumpered into our lives big time.

5. It was written for the author’s two daughters.

Talking to Entertainment Weekly, novel author revealed how he had said to his daughters that he would write them a story and ask what they would like it to be about. One said ‘a princess!’ and the other ‘a bride!’ and the rest is history.

6. Filming wasn’t always smooth.

In the fire swamp, Robin Wright’s dress caught on fire. This was intentional, but when writer William Goldman saw it, he shouted, “Her dress is on fire!” and ruined the take.

7. Nabbing the role of Buttercup sure wasn’t easy!

Director Rob Reiner auditioned over 500 women for the role, including Courtney Cox, Meg Ryan, Uma Thurman, and Whoopie Goldberg.

The Princess Bride TShirts

8. Sometimes the cast really were heroes.

Remember the awesome moment when Westley jumps into the quicksand? Cool moment right? Well, originally this was meant to be feet first for safety as there was a trap door underneath which needed to be opened and just the right moment to avoid injury. Insisting that feet first wasn’t particularly heroic, Cary Elwes opted to jump head first (waaay more dangerous for obvious reasons), he nailed it fist time and this was the take that made it into the film. Legend!

9. It wasn’t always ‘Quiet on set!’.

Director Rob Reiner couldn’t be in the room when Billy Crystal filmed his scenes, because he would start to feel ill from laughing so hard.

ALSO – Crystal filmed the role of Miracle Max over three days for 10 hours a day, and never made the same joke twice.

10. It was a very long time in the making….

Author William Goldman was trying to get the film made in the 1970s, but sadly Andre the Giant wouldn’t read for the role of Fezzik, so a little-known at the time Arnold Schwarzenegger was considered for the role. When the film was eventually made a whopping 12 years later, Schwarzenegger was such a huge success they simply couldn’t afford him, but their first choice was cast instead.

So there you have them peeps! Find out anything cool? Perhaps you know even more cool Princess Bride facts? Let us know by leaving a comment below.

xoxo

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Steam in my snorkel! It’s only another weekend and time for another classic Retro Movie Rundown. Oh how we spoil you!

Like a keen and adventurous swimmer, we find ourselves suiting up for another dip into the cold and unforgiving Atlantic ocean. We’ll paddle out before scouting out the coastline for what mysterious creatures and plant life may lurk in the depths. Will there be crabs? Will there be fish? Only time, patience and some very cold hands will tell.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 16th April

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Clueless
(1995) Film4 1:00pm-3:00pm (2 hours)
A rich high-school student uses all her charm and financial clout to boost an awkward new pupil’s image, but soon finds she has created a monster – while her own popularity suffers in the process. Comedy inspired by Jane Austen’s Emma, starring Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy and Paul Rudd.

Clueless TShirt

Superman (1978) ITV 1:30pm-4:25pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman Merchandise

Small Soldiers (1998) ITV2 3:30pm-4:35pm (1 hour 5 minutes)
3:30pm-4:35pm (1 hoA hi-tech computer chip has a bizarre effect on a squad of toy soldiers, causing mayhem for their owner as the miniature marauders engage in a series of scaled-down skirmishes. Children’s adventure mixing live action and computer animation, starring Kirsten Dunst, Denis Leary and Gregory Smith, with the voices of Tommy Lee Jones, Frank Langella, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci.

Goldfinger (1964) ITV4 4:00pm-5:05pm (1 hour 5 minutes)
James Bond is assigned to investigate a notorious German gold smuggler and discovers his quarry has ambitions much greater than first suspected. Pursuing the criminal mastermind around the world, Bond uncovers the villain’s audacious scheme to destroy the global economy with a daring attack on Fort Knox. Spy adventure, starring Sean Connery, Gert Frobe and Honor Blackman.

Fun Fact: The movie was the fastest grossing picture in film history when it was released and was entered into the Guiness Book of World Records.

Labyrinth (1986) 5STAR 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours)
A teenager wishes her baby brother would be taken away, only to have her request granted by a band of goblins and their sinister king. She regrets her decision and sets out to rescue him, but to reach the castle where he is being held, she must find her way through a magical maze full of strange creatures. Jim Henson’s fantasy adventure, starring Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie.

Labyrinth TShirt

Dirty Dancing (1987) 5STAR 6:00pm-8:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 7:30pm-8:30pm (1 hour)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

Die Hard 2 (1990) Channel 4 9:15pm-11:40pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife, but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

2 Fast 2 Furious (2003) ITV 10:20pm-12:15am (1 hour 55 minutes)
A disgraced former cop is arrested by the FBI for illegal street racing, but his one-time colleagues offer him freedom in exchange for going on an undercover mission. Teaming up with an old racing friend and a customs official, he has to infiltrate and bring down a drug-trafficking operation. Thriller sequel, with Paul Walker reprising his role from The Fast and the Furious alongside Tyrese Gibson, Eva Mendes and Cole Hauser.

Kevin and Perry Go Large (2000) Comedy Central 10:00pm-11:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The teenage duo are thrilled when their parents agree to let them go to Ibiza, and promptly embark on an increasingly desperate quest to find stardom as club DJs and lose their virginity on the sun-kissed shores – but seem certain to fail. Comedy, starring Harry Enfield, Kathy Burke, Rhys Ifans, James Fleet and Paul Whitehouse.

SUNDAY 17th April

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Escape from the Planet of the Apes
(1971) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
Intelligent chimpanzees Cornelius and Zira escape the destruction of their planet by travelling back in time to 1970s America. Although initially treated as celebrities, the government comes to regard the pair as a threat to the human race when it transpires that Zira is pregnant. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Sal Mineo and Ricardo Montalban.

Brewster’s Millions (1985) Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A baseball player is stunned to learn he has come into a massive inheritance. Unfortunately, there is one condition – he must somehow find a way to spend $30million in just one month, or he will lose the lot. Meanwhile, two scheming lawyers, who stand to get the money if he fails, are determined to sabotage his efforts. Comedy, starring Richard Pryor, John Candy, Lonette McKee and Jerry Orbach.

Black Beauty (1994) ITV3 1:10pm-2:10pm (1 hour)
A stallion recalls the events of his life and a succession of good and bad owners. His carefree youth on a country estate is brought to an end by a stable fire, and he ends up enduring a hard life pulling a hackney cab in Victorian London. Family drama based on Anna Sewell’s novel, starring Sean Bean, David Thewlis, Jim Carter and Eleanor Bron, with Alan Cumming providing the voice of the horse.

The Princess Bride (1987) Channel 5 1:15pm-3:15pm (2 hours)
A cynical youngster becomes entranced by his grandfather’s magical tales, which revolve around a stable-boy’s heroic quest to rescue his lost love from the clutches of an evil prince, with the aid of a vengeance-seeking Spanish swashbuckler and his hulking sidekick. Rob Reiner’s comic fantasy adventure, with Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, Mandy Patinkin, Peter Falk and Fred Savage.

Bend It Like Beckham (2002) Channel 5 3:15pm-5:30pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An English schoolgirl tries to hide her passion for football from her strict Indian parents, knowing they disapprove of her tomboyish love of the game. However, when a semi-professional player sees her in action, she is offered a place on a team, forcing her to come up with a complex plan to keep her sporting career under wraps. Comedy, with Parminder Nagra, Keira Knightley, Jonathan Rhys Meyers, Juliet Stevenson and Shaznay Lewis.

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989) 5STAR 4:50pm-7:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The Starship Enterprise races to the rescue of intergalactic ambassadors held hostage on a distant planet. The crisis proves to be the handiwork of a renegade Vulcan mystic who kidnaps Captain Kirk and his crew, ordering them to fly to an unexplored world where he hopes to fulfil his insane ambition – to meet God. Sci-fi adventure, written, directed by and starring William Shatner, with Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley and David Warner.

Star Trek TShirts

Hercules (1997) Channel 5 5:30pm-7:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The son of Zeus, king of the Greek gods, is sent to Earth to be raised as a human. When he learns of his immortal heritage, he discovers he can only reclaim his position among the gods by becoming a true hero, so he embarks on a series of adventures and battles fearsome monsters to prove his worth. Disney animated adventure, with the voices of Tate Donovan, Danny DeVito, James Woods and Rip Torn.

Legend (1985) Film4 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A peasant boy, who has a special bond with animals and fairies, shows his sweetheart the last surviving unicorns. Unfortunately, a monstrous demon and his goblin henchmen despise the mythical creatures and trick the girl into harming one of them, forcing Jack to act quickly to save her immortal soul. Ridley Scott’s fantasy adventure, starring Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry and David Bennent.

Fun Fact: This film is widely rumoured to have been a source of inspiration for Shigeru Miyamoto’s classic game series The Legend of Zelda.

Clear and Present Danger (1994) More4 9:00pm-11:50pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
A CIA analyst gets caught up in the Colombian drug trade while trying to track down terrorists responsible for the murder of a close friend of the US president – but his investigations point to illegal activity and corruption at the very top of government. Action thriller, based on Tom Clancy’s novel, with Harrison Ford reprising his role from Patriot Games alongside Willem Dafoe, Anne Archer and James Earl Jones.

Ransom (1996) ITV4 10:10pm-11:25pm (1 hour 15 minutes)
An airline tycoon is wary of involving the police when his nine-year-old son is abducted, but co-operates with their plan to make a ransom drop. However, when the trade-off goes badly wrong, he decides to take matters into his own hands by placing a $2million bounty on the kidnappers’ heads, to the consternation of the cops and his anxious wife. Thriller remake, starring Mel Gibson, Rene Russo, Gary Sinise, Delroy Lindo and Liev Schreiber.

Mars Attacks! (1996) Channel 5 11:05pm-1:05am (2 hours)
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep warm, keep dry and keep having fun!
xoxo

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Great balls of fire! Another weekend, another amazing chance to catch some top retro films!

Trekking our way through the jungle like a khaki wearing explorer, we find ourselves totally and completely surrounded with classic movie wilderness. Each turn will lead to previously unseen territory where we could learn more around the worth around us, find new lands and discover something completely new. Like this weekend’s top picks for retro goodness, there are no wrong turns, just new adventures.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 6th FEBRUARY

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Mr Bean’s Holiday
(2007) ITV2 2:10pm-4:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

Chocolat (2000) Film4 2:40pm-5:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A woman and her daughter move to a sleepy French village in 1959 and brazenly open a chocolate shop directly opposite the Catholic parish church during Lent. At first the locals are enraged and appalled, but her confections soon raise spirits in the community, especially among the wives. Drama adapted from Joanne Harris’s novel, with Juliette Binoche, Johnny Depp, Alfred Molina and Judi Dench.

Beethoven (1992) ITV2 4:00pm-5:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.

Willow (1988) 5* 4:50pm-7:25pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
A farmer with dreams of becoming a wizard finds an abandoned baby, who is destined to bring about the downfall of an evil queen. The wicked tyrant’s minions have been sent to kill the child before she can fulfil the prophecy, and it falls to the would-be sorcerer to protect her, with the aid of a rogue warrior. Fantasy adventure, starring Warwick Davis and Val Kilmer.

Shallow Hal (2001) Film4 6:45pm-9:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Superficial Hal is only interested in dating physically perfect women, but his outlook is changed when a self-help guru hypnotises him into seeing inner beauty – and he ends up falling for a spirited overweight woman. However, when the hypnosis wears off he struggles to remember that looks are not everything. Farrelly Brothers comedy, starring Gwyneth Paltrow, Jack Black, Jason Alexander and Joe Viterelli.

The Mummy Returns (2001) ITV2 6:50pm-9:20pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Married explorers Rick and Evelyn battle the newly resurrected mummy Imhotep and his ruthless partner, who have captured their son. The undead creature is heading for a confrontation with a legendary ancient warrior – with power over a magical army to be won. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr and Patricia Velasquez, with a brief appearance by Dwayne Johnson.

The Fifth Element (1997) 5* 7:25pm-10:00pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman.

Escape from New York (1981) ITV4 9:00pm-11:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Former special forces soldier Snake Plissken is sentenced to life on Manhattan Island, an anarchic penal colony for the most dangerous criminals. When Air Force One is hijacked and crashes there, Snake is coerced into rescuing the US president from prisoners holding him hostage. John Carpenter’s sci-fi action adventure, with Kurt Russell, Donald Pleasence, Lee Van Cleef, Adrienne Barbeau and Isaac Hayes.

Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (2001) AMC 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The foul-mouthed New Jersey layabout and his quiet sidekick discover Hollywood executives are making a film based on them. Fearing for their reputation, they head to Tinseltown to stop it being made, only to fall foul of a gang of female jewel thieves. Comedy featuring the characters from Clerks, directed by and starring Kevin Smith. With Jason Mewes, Ben Affleck, Matt Damon, Will Ferrell and Shannon Elizabeth.

Jurassic Park III (2001) ITV London 10:40pm-12:15am (1 hour 35 minutes)
Palaeontologist Dr Alan Grant is lured to a dinosaur-infested island by a divorced couple who offer to fund his research, unaware their real motive is to find their missing son – and that the creatures on the island are far more intelligent than anyone suspected. Action adventure sequel, starring Sam Neill, William H Macy, Tea Leoni and Alessandro Nivola.

Jurassic Park Clothing

SUNDAY 7th FEBRUARY

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The Princess Bride
(1987) 5* 2:00pm-4:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A cynical youngster becomes entranced by his grandfather’s magical tales, which revolve around a stable-boy’s heroic quest to rescue his lost love from the clutches of an evil prince, with the aid of a vengeance-seeking Spanish swashbuckler and his hulking sidekick. Rob Reiner’s comic fantasy adventure, with Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, Mandy Patinkin, Peter Falk and Fred Savage.

School of Rock (2003) E4 2:30pm-4:45pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A slobbish guitarist dreams of stardom, but his hopes are dashed when the other members of his band kick him out. Struggling to make ends meet, he takes a job as a supply teacher at an exclusive private school, and sets about moulding his pupils into rock gods. Comedy from director Richard Linklater, starring Jack Black, Joan Cusack, Mike White and Sarah Silverman.

Smokey and the Bandit II (1980) Dave 2:55pm-5:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The maverick haulier must overcome a crisis of confidence when he and his friends are hired to transport a pregnant elephant to Texas, a mammoth task that proves far from easy, especially with their old enemy in hot pursuit. Road comedy, with Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Dom DeLuise and Sally Field.

Fun Fact: The scene where Carrie (Frog) announces her ending up the relationship to Bandit was written by Sally Field, who was about to break up with Burt Reynolds at the time. Reynolds wanted Sally to express her feelings about the breakup on film because he wanted to know how she really felt about him.

Three Men and a Little Lady (1990) Channel 5 3:40pm-5:35pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Bachelor Jack and his two best buddies have brought up his baby Mary since she was left in their care by her mother, Sylvia. Now that Mary is five years old, Sylvia believes she needs a more conventional upbringing and decides to accept a marriage proposal from an English aristocrat, leaving the trio of dads rushing to stop the wedding. Comedy sequel, with Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and Steve Guttenberg.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 5:10pm-7:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minions Merchandise

X-Men (2000) Channel 4 5:35pm-7:30pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Super-powered outsiders Rogue and Wolverine enlist at a school for mutants which is run by a benevolent psychic professor. While there, they agree to join others with similar gifts to take on a superhuman mutant terrorist faction intent on establishing dominance over mankind. Sci-fi comic-book adventure, starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Anna Paquin and Halle Berry.

Superhero Merchandise

Little Nicky (2000) Channel 5 5:40pm-7:15pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
The Devil decides to put off retirement for a little longer, but his two oldest sons are left fuming – and decide to get revenge by creating Hell on Earth. The job of saving the world falls to their good-natured younger brother, who travels to New York to put things right. Comedy, starring Adam Sandler, Patricia Arquette, Harvey Keitel, Rhys Ifans, Reese Witherspoon and Rodney Dangerfield.

Airplane! (1980) Film4 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The passengers on board an ill-fated airliner become increasingly jittery when the flight crew flounder during a food-poisoning crisis. As ground control personnel struggle heroically to ensure the plane lands safely, a traumatised war veteran must face his fear to take the controls. Spoof disaster movie, starring Robert Hays, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack and Lloyd Bridges.

Zoolander (2001) Channel 5 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Dim male model Derek Zoolander is stunned to find his career going downhill thanks to the arrival of an equally vacuous rival – but fails to realise he is merely a pawn in a dangerous game of international espionage and world domination. Comedy, starring Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Milla Jovovich, Christine Taylor and David Duchovny.

Nighthawks (1981) ITV4 9:00pm-11:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Two tough cops are assigned to track down a ruthless terrorist on the streets of New York before he carries out his threat to blow up the UN building – and from randomly picking off innocent citizens as the pressure builds. Action adventure, starring Sylvester Stallone, Billy Dee Williams, Rutger Hauer, Lindsay Wagner, Nigel Davenport and Persis Khambatta.

Patriot Games (1992) Film4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Former CIA agent Jack Ryan foils an assassination attempt by an IRA splinter group, killing one of the terrorists in the process. However, he becomes caught in a lethal game of cat-and-mouse with the dead man’s revenge-seeking brother. Thriller based on Tom Clancy’s novel, starring Harrison Ford, Sean Bean, Samuel L Jackson, Richard Harris and James Earl Jones, reprising his role from earlier Clancy adaptation The Hunt for Red October.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep it cool and keep it classy.

xoxo

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Beans on toast! It’s the Weekend!

So at the back of a bustling busy restaurant amongst stacks of dirty dishes and cutlery let us be your eager to please Kitchen hand, as we hold aloft our scrubbing brush of retro movie awesomeness, let us hose down mounds of crud covered pots with a jettison of cinematic greatness before we stand in awe at a glistening mountain of celluloid wonder.

Happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 28th NOVEMBER

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Seven Ways from Sundown
(1960) 5USA 9:15am-11:00am (1 hour 45 minutes)
An inexperienced Texas ranger is given a challenging first assignment – to assist a grizzled veteran in bringing an infamous killer to justice. During the search, the young lawman befriends a charismatic stranger, but does not realise his new acquaintance is the criminal he is pursuing. Western based on Clair Huffaker’s novel, starring Audie Murphy and Barry Sullivan.

Miracle on 34th Street (1973) Movie Mix 2:45pm-4:50pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Christmas fantasy about a popular New York department store Santa Claus who brings joy into the hearts of the city’s children by claiming to be the genuine article – but ends up in court for his trouble. Jane Alexander and Roddy McDowall star in this remake of the 1947 classic.

Time Bandits (1981) Film4 2:50pm-5:05pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A bemused schoolboy is escorted on a bizarre journey through time by a group of larcenous dwarfs. His adventures lead him to encounters with various characters from history – but none of them are quite what he had imagined. Terry Gilliam’s fantasy comedy, starring Craig Warnock, David Rappaport, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Sean Connery, Ian Holm, Ralph Richardson and David Warner.

Star Trek IV: The Voyage Home (1986) Dave 4:00pm-6:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
The Enterprise crew travels back in time to prevent an alien probe destroying the Earth. The only thing that can avert the disaster is a humpback whale, a creature extinct in the 23rd century – but adjusting to life back in 1986 proves a distinct challenge. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring William Shatner, DeForest Kelley and Leonard Nimoy, who also directed.

Hulk (2003) ITV2 5:40pm-8:25pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
Scientist Dr Bruce Banner turns into the rampaging green Hulk after exposure to a huge dose of gamma radiation, prompting the military to embark on a no-holds-barred mission to destroy the monster. Meanwhile, Banner’s unstable father resurfaces, holding the secret to his transformation. Comic-strip adventure from director Ang Lee, starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott and Nick Nolte.

The Princess Bride (1987) 5* 6:00pm-8:00pm (2 hours)
A cynical youngster becomes entranced by his grandfather’s magical tales, which revolve around a stable-boy’s heroic quest to rescue his lost love from the clutches of an evil prince, with the aid of a vengeance-seeking Spanish swashbuckler and his hulking sidekick. Rob Reiner’s comic fantasy adventure, with Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, Mandy Patinkin, Peter Falk and Fred Savage.

Star Trek V: The Final Frontier (1989) Dave 6:15pm-8:20pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The Starship Enterprise races to the rescue of intergalactic ambassadors held hostage on a distant planet. The crisis proves to be the handiwork of a renegade Vulcan mystic who kidnaps Captain Kirk and his crew, ordering them to fly to an unexplored world where he hopes to fulfil his insane ambition – to meet God. Sci-fi adventure, written, directed by and starring William Shatner, with Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley and David Warner.

Zoolander (2001) Film4 7:20pm-9:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Dim male model Derek Zoolander is stunned to find his career going downhill thanks to the arrival of an equally vacuous rival – but fails to realise he is merely a pawn in a dangerous game of international espionage and world domination. Comedy, starring Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, Will Ferrell, Milla Jovovich, Christine Taylor and David Duchovny.

Back to the Future (1985) ITV2 8:25pm-10:45pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Teenager Marty McFly travels back to the 1950s in a time machine built by his eccentric inventor friend. The return journey proves tricky enough, but he also accidentally alters the sequence of events that led to his parents falling in love – and has to persuade his future dad to win his mother’s heart, or he will never be born. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson and Crispin Glover.

Back To The Future T-Shirts

Midnight Run (1988) ITV4 11:00pm-1:35am (2 hours 35 minutes)
When accountant Jonathan Mardukas skips bail after having been arrested for embezzlement, bounty hunter Jack Walsh is hired to catch the fraudster and return him from New York to Los Angeles. Unfortunately, his task is hindered by the ingenuity of Mardukas and the attentions of pursuing FBI agents and Mafia hitmen. Comedy thriller, starring Robert De Niro, Charles Grodin, Yaphet Kotto, Dennis Farina, John Ashton and Joe Pantoliano.

SUNDAY 29th NOVEMBER

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The Secret of My Success
(1987) ITV3 6:25am-8:35am (2 hours 10 minutes)
A naive country boy travels to New York to make his fortune, only to end up working in a corporation’s mail room. He chances on a vacant office and hatches a plan to pass himself off as a top-ranking executive, but leading a double life proves harder than expected. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, Helen Slater, Richard Jordan and Fred Gwynne.

Big Business (1988) Film4 1:00pm-3:00pm (2 hours)
The first-born babies in two sets of identical twins are mixed up at birth by a short-sighted nurse, leading to their being raised in very different social circles. In later life, one pair, brought up in a poor mining town, visits New York to challenge a powerful conglomerate – only to find their respective siblings are in charge of the company. Comedy, starring Bette Midler and Lily Tomlin in dual roles alongside Fred Ward and Edward Herrmann.

The Money Pit (1986) 5* 3:20pm-5:15pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Yuppie couple Walter and Anna buy a ramshackle old house and set about renovating it, only to see their dream home gradually turn into a nightmare. Anna also has to contend with her ex-husband, who is determined to talk her into giving their relationship another try. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Shelley Long, Alexander Godunov and Joe Mantegna.

The Little Mermaid (1989) Channel 5 3:35pm-5:15pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Underwater princess Ariel becomes bored with her aquatic existence and spends her time spying on humans, much to the annoyance of her father. Longing to live on land, she strikes a deal with a banished sea witch in order to become human and meet a prince – but there is a price to be paid. Disney’s animated adventure, with the voices of Jodi Benson, Christopher Daniel Barnes and Rene Auberjonois.

The Mummy Returns (2001) ITV London 4:20pm-6:35pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Married explorers Rick and Evelyn battle the newly resurrected mummy Imhotep and his ruthless partner, who have captured their son. The undead creature is heading for a confrontation with a legendary ancient warrior – with power over a magical army to be won. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr and Patricia Velasquez, with a brief appearance by Dwayne Johnson.

Sister Act (1992) Channel 4 5:25pm-7:15pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Nightclub singer Deloris Van Cartier agrees to testify against her gangster boyfriend after witnessing a murder. Placed in protective custody by the authorities, she is less than pleased to discover she is expected to pose as chaste nun Sister Mary Clarence in a convent. Comedy, starring Whoopi Goldberg, Harvey Keitel, Maggie Smith, Bill Nunn and Kathy Najimy.

Back to the Future Part II (1989) ITV2 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Time-travelling teenager Marty McFly travels to the 21st century, where he has to save his children from a terrible fate. However, this proves to have unforeseen consequences when the future version of arch enemy Biff sees a chance to rewrite history for his own benefit, leaving Marty stuck in a twisted parallel universe. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd.

The Simpsons Movie (2007) E4 8:00pm-9:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Homer unwittingly pollutes Lake Springfield, so the US government decides to isolate the city underneath a giant dome. The Simpsons manage to escape and plan to start a new life in Alaska – but learn Springfield is about to be destroyed, and return to save their friends. With the voices of Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright and Yeardley Smith.

Simpsons Merchandise

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you get there nice and early and remember sharing is caring.

xoxo

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