Time Bandits

Holy smokes Batman! Another retro movie weekend is here and boy are we excited!

Kicking down the door of our local Blockbusters (metaphorically), we find ourselves faced with a entire plethora of awesome retro movies just waiting to be released and enjoyed. Walking the isles, we gaze across the start-studded covers with all their promise or action, romance and of course some cracking one liners. After carefully selecting our weekend fill, we’ll slam our membership card on the desk before smoothly walking away in what felt like slow motion and through the fog. We will be back…

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 20th May

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The Parent Trap (1998) 5STAR 1:30pm-4:05pm
Identical twin sisters who are unaware of each other’s existence meet by accident. They decide to join forces in a bid to reunite their estranged parents, and switch places to get the warring couple to kiss and make up. Remake of the 1961 Disney comedy, starring Dennis Quaid, Natasha Richardson, Elaine Hendrix and Lindsay Lohan in a dual role.

Last Action Hero (1993) Sony channel 6:20pm-9:00pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
A boy watching an action movie is transported into the film by a magic ticket and meets its hero figure, who refuses to believe he is a fictional character. Matters take a turn for the worse when the screen villain gets hold of the ticket and crosses over into the real world – where bad guys can win. Comedy adventure, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin O’Brien, Charles Dance, F Murray Abraham and Anthony Quinn.

Navy Seals (1990) ITV4 9:00pm-11:20pm
The US Navy’s elite commando force embarks on a dangerous covert mission to rescue hostages from an Arab terrorist in Beirut. However, the assignment proves far more serious than expected when they realise their enemies have acquired powerful stolen missiles. Action adventure, starring Charlie Sheen, Michael Biehn, Joanne Whalley, Bill Paxton and Rick Rossovich.

Total Recall (1990) ITV 9:50pm-12:20am
A construction worker pays to have fake memories of a dream holiday implanted into his brain, but discovers his mind has already been tampered with – apparently to erase his true identity as a secret agent from a colony on Mars. He journeys to the planet in search of the truth, but is drawn into a conflict between the tyrannical ruler and a rebel faction. Paul Verhoeven’s sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin and Michael Ironside.

The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976) Dave 10:00pm-12:40am (2 hours 40 minutes)
A Confederate soldier refuses to surrender at the end of the Civil War, and is branded a dangerous outlaw. Crossing America in search of sanctuary from the army and bounty hunters, he only wants solitude – but ends up with a strange assortment of travelling companions. Western, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood. With Chief Dan George and Sondra Locke

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) ITV4 4 11:20pm-1:15am
A crook and his unhinged brother take a preacher’s family hostage and cross the border into Mexico. They head to a rough strip club to make a planned rendezvous with a third party – but they soon have to live on their wits when they realise that the establishment’s staff are vampires. Horror, starring George Clooney, Harvey Keitel, Quentin Tarantino, Juliette Lewis and Salma Hayek.

SUNDAY 21st May

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Hook (1991) Sony Movie Channel 11:30am-2:35pm (3 hours 5 minutes)
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Willow (1988) Channel 5 2:45pm-5:10pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A farmer with dreams of becoming a wizard finds an abandoned baby, who is destined to bring about the downfall of an evil queen. The wicked tyrant’s minions have been sent to kill the child before she can fulfil the prophecy, and it falls to the would-be sorcerer to protect her, with the aid of a rogue warrior. Fantasy adventure, starring Warwick Davis and Val Kilmer.

Time Bandits (1981) Film4 2:50pm-5:05pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A bemused schoolboy is escorted on a bizarre journey through time by a group of larcenous dwarfs. His adventures lead him to encounters with various characters from history – but none of them are quite what he had imagined. Terry Gilliam’s fantasy comedy, starring Craig Warnock, David Rappaport, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Sean Connery, Ian Holm, Ralph Richardson and David Warner.

Robin Hood (1973) Chennel 4 3:50pm-5:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The adventures of the legendary outlaw and Sherwood Forest’s band of heroes as they rob the rich to feed the poor, while evil Prince John hatches a cunning plan to exact revenge and finish off the brigands. Disney animation, with the voices of Terry-Thomas, Peter Ustinov, Phil Harris, Brian Bedford and Monica Evans.

The Man with the Golden Gun (1974) ITV 4:20pm-6:40pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
James Bond’s investigation into the death of a world-renowned scientist working on solar technology draws him into a battle of wits with a stealthy assassin, who dispatches his victims with a golden bullet and has the British secret agent next in his sights. Spy adventure, starring Roger Moore, Christopher Lee, Britt Ekland and Maud Adams.

James Bond TShirts

Labyrinth (1986) Channel 5 5:10pm-7:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A teenager wishes her baby brother would be taken away, only to have her request granted by a band of goblins and their sinister king. She regrets her decision and sets out to rescue him, but to reach the castle where he is being held, she must find her way through a magical maze full of strange creatures. Jim Henson’s fantasy adventure, starring Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie.

Labyrinth Merchandise

The Cable Guy (1996) Sony Movie Channel 7:05pm-9:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A man makes the mistake of engaging a cable TV installer in conversation in a ploy to get all the channels for free. However, the manic repairman shows an invincible determination to be his new best friend – and does not take kindly to rejection. Comedy directed by Ben Stiller, starring Jim Carrey, Matthew Broderick and George Segal.

The Terminator (1984) Spike 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
A cyborg assassin is sent on a murderous mission back in time to the 20th century, where he wreaks havoc while searching for his intended victim – a woman whose unborn son is destined to lead the human race in a war against machines. However, a soldier has also been sent from the future to protect her. James Cameron’s sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton and Michael Biehn.

Highlander (1986) Channel 5 11:55pm-2:00am (2 hours 5 minutes)
A 16th-century Scottish clansman discovers he is one of a race of immortal warriors who can only be killed by beheading, and who are destined to fight to the death until just one survives. Centuries later in modern-day New York, he prepares for a final showdown with his deadliest enemy. Fantasy action adventure, starring Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, Clancy Brown and Roxanne Hart.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, stay cool, stay humble and stay out all night!



Well jump for joy and sing out a tune! It’s only another retro movie weekend full of tales, adventure and a pinch of romance for good measure.

So! Like one of the worlds most skilled and experienced treasure hunters, we find ourselves in front of an ancient chest adorned with an oh-so intricate lock. Taking note of the mysterious shapes and signs that make up it’s combination, we’ll dig from our many year of learning to twist, click and push out way ever closer to the correct combination. Like this very retro movie weekend, we’re aching to bust it open and reveal all the hidden retro movie treasures that could lay inside.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 21st JANUARY

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Flight of the Navigator (1986) Film4 1:00pm-2:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978, and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens.

Space Jam (1996) ITV2 2:10pm-3:55pm
Aliens arrive on Earth to abduct the Looney Tunes gang as a new attraction at their failing intergalactic theme park. To keep their freedom, Bugs Bunny and friends challenge the invaders to a high-stakes basketball game, calling on Michael Jordan to save the day and send the extraterrestrials back where they came from. Live action and animated comedy, starring Bill Murray and Danny DeVito, with the voices of Billy West and Bill Farmer.

90s Merchandise

The Addams Family (1991) E4 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours)
Creepy couple Morticia and Gomez find their unconventional life threatened by a man claiming to be a long-lost relative. When they welcome him with open arms, they fall prey to a plot that could cost them their ancestral home and the family fortune. Black comedy based on the 1960s TV series, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman and Carel Struycken.

One Fine Day (1996) 4:40pm-6:50pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The working day for two mismatched single professionals is thrown into turmoil when their children have to stay at home after missing a school trip. The pair agree to take it in turns to babysit while struggling to stick to their hectic schedules – but during the course of the day their feelings for each other blossom unexpectedly. Romantic comedy, starring George Clooney, Michelle Pfeiffer, Charles Durning and Mae Whitman.

One Hundred and One Dalmatians (1961) 5STAR 5:05pm-7:15pm
A fashion-obsessed woman longs to make a coat out of dalmatian skin, and resorts to kidnapping her friend’s litter of puppies, along with several other dogs. However, the captive pups’ devoted parents come to the rescue, aided by an assortment of other animals. Disney animated adventure based on Dodie Smith’s novel, with the voices of Betty Lou Gerson and Rod Taylor.

Disney Jewellery & Disney Clothing

Dressed to Kill (1980) Film4 11:20pm-1:30am (2 hours 10 minutes)
A psychiatrist joins forces with a prostitute to investigate the murder of a patient, a frustrated middle-aged housewife who indulged her fantasies by embarking on an extramarital affair and was subsequently killed. Brian De Palma’s thriller, starring Michael Caine, Angie Dickinson, Nancy Allen, Keith Gordon and Dennis Franz.

SUNDAY 22nd JANUARY

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Short Circuit
(1986) Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A military robot is struck by lightning and develops a mind of its own. The machine embarks on a series of comic misadventures, but the company that made him want him back. He realises his only hope is to convince the scientist who invented him that he really is alive. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Steve Guttenberg, Ally Sheedy and Fisher Stevens.

Retro Movie TShirts

George of the Jungle (1997) Channel 5 3:00pm-4:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An American heiress on holiday in Africa gets stranded in the wilderness, but is rescued by a primitive man who was raised by apes. When her cruel fiancee takes her back to the States, the besotted king of the jungle follows, but is unprepared for modern living. Comedy based on the TV cartoon series, starring Brendan Fraser, Leslie Mann, Thomas Haden Church and Richard Roundtree.

Time Bandits (1981) Film5 4:45pm-7:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A bemused schoolboy is escorted on a bizarre journey through time by a group of larcenous dwarfs. His adventures lead him to encounters with various characters from history – but none of them are quite what he had imagined. Terry Gilliam’s fantasy comedy, starring Craig Warnock, David Rappaport, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Sean Connery, Ian Holm, Ralph Richardson and David Warner.

Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach (1988) ITV4 8:00pm-10:00pm
The clumsy cops visit Miami for a police chiefs’ convention to see Commandant Lassard receive an award for his retirement. Any hopes of a sun-kissed vacation are thwarted when a luggage mix-up lands them in the middle of a huge illegal arms deal. Comedy sequel, starring Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow, George Gaynes, Matt McCoy and Leslie Easterbrook.

Trainspotting (1996) Channel 4 10:05pm-11:55pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A heroin addict makes a series of attempts to kick the habit, but the grind of everyday life and a circle of similarly self-destructive friends keep dragging him back to his old ways. Following a near-fatal overdose, he comes to the realisation that the only way to put his life in order is to rid himself of his friends – which is easier said than done. Danny Boyle’s drama based on Irvine Welsh’s novel, starring Ewan McGregor, Robert Carlyle and Ewen Bremner.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember that no one ever remembers the things they didn’t do.

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