Tom Hanks

Take to the skies! Another retro movie weekend is among us!

With a zip and a clip, we’ve packed our bags for another long and adventure filled journey through the retro movie jungle that be before us. Taking just the bare essentials with us… which is still more than you expect, we’ll begin our tour through far and distant lands. Stopping for only refreshments, we will masterfully hack our way through the cinematic wonder as we reach our final destination, only to gaze and stare at the majestic celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 11th FEBRUARY

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The Wizard of Oz
(1939) 5STAR 12:55pm-3:00pm
Youngster Dorothy Gale is whisked over the rainbow by a tornado into the magical land of Oz, where she inadvertently kills a wicked witch – incurring the wrath of another. Setting out to find the wizard who can show her a way home, she is joined on her journey by a scarecrow, a tin man and a cowardly lion, who all hope their own wishes will be granted. Musical fantasy, with Judy Garland, Ray Bolger, Jack Haley, Bert Lahr and Frank Morgan.

The Wizard of Oz Merchandise

Turner & Hooch (1989) Film4 4:55pm-6:55pm (2 hours)
A Californian detective investigating the murder of a local man by drug smugglers has only one witness to help him solve the case – the large, smelly dog that belonged to the victim, which is about to turn the detective’s well-ordered existence into chaos. Family comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham and Craig T Nelso.

Every Which Way But Loose (1978) ITV4 4:00pm-6:10pm
A truck driver travels across America with his faithful orang-utan competing in bare-knuckle fights for extra cash. He becomes smitten with a country singer who subsequently vanishes without a trace, so man and ape set off in search of her – with an enraged gang of bikers in pursuit. Action comedy, starring Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Geoffrey Lewis and Beverly D’Angelo.

Volcano (1997) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A river of molten lava spews from an erupting volcano onto the streets of Los Angeles, prompting the head of a crisis agency to team up with an intrepid scientist in a frantic and dangerous bid to save the city’s residents. Disaster thriller, starring Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, Gaby Hoffmann, Keith David and Don Cheadle.

The Full Monty (1997) Dave 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
Six unemployed men from Sheffield decide to become strippers for one night only in a bid to raise extra money. However, with no dancing experience and far from perfect physiques, the men rely on the unique selling point of complete nudity to impress the punters. Comedy, starring Robert Carlyle, Mark Addy, Tom Wilkinson, Hugo Speer and Paul Barber.

Mars Attacks! (1996) ITV4 11:15pm-1:25am
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

The Blues Brothers (1980) Sony Movie Channel 11:20pm-2:10am (2 hours 50 minutes)
Two criminal brothers discover the orphanage where they were raised faces closure unless the nuns who run it can pay their tax bill, so the pair embark on an urgent mission to revive their old blues band to raise the money needed. Comedy, starring John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Aretha Franklin, James Brown, Ray Charles, Cab Calloway, Carrie Fisher, John Candy and John Lee Hooker.

SUNDAY 12th FEBRUARY

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Mrs Doubtfire
(1993) Channel 4 5:15pm-7:30pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A struggling actor’s ambitious, no-nonsense wife throws him out and demands a divorce. Desperate to spend time with his children, he puts his talents to good use by donning drag and posing as a Scottish housekeeper to get a job looking after them. Comedy, starring Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein and Mara Wilson.

Catch Me If You Can (2002) BBC2 5:45pm-8:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
The story of Frank Abagnale Jr, who found notoriety as a teenager conning and charming his way across America. Posing as a pilot, a doctor and a lawyer, Frank was able to fund an extravagant lifestyle while outwitting the FBI at every turn. Fact-based drama, starring Leonardo DiCaprio, Tom Hanks, Christopher Walken, Martin Sheen and James Brolin.

Men in Black (1997) E4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, stay humble, stay hungry.

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Flurry and slush! Another retro movie weekend is before us and boy is it a beauty!

Waking up bright and early like the many days before, we slowly ease ourselves into the day with a hot cuppa and a cold milky bowl of something sweet. Stretching out the front door into the bitter cold and blistery winds, we are greeted with what we would describe as the worlds most iced up windscreen ever. Chipping and scraping away at the stubborn cold layer of doom, we’ll begin to see our efforts pay off and just in time before all feeling from our hands is lost.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 14th JANUARY

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The Mummy Returns
(2001) ITV 1:40pm-4:05pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Married explorers Rick and Evelyn battle the newly resurrected mummy Imhotep and his ruthless partner, who have captured their son. The undead creature is heading for a confrontation with a legendary ancient warrior – with power over a magical army to be won. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr and Patricia Velasquez, with a brief appearance by Dwayne Johnson.

The Borrowers (1997) 5STAR 3:10pm-5:00pm
A family of four-inch-high people living beneath the floorboards of an ordinary human home help the owner’s son fight back when a dastardly lawyer plans to demolish the house and make way for a luxury apartment block. Children’s fantasy, starring John Goodman, Jim Broadbent, Celia Imrie, Flora Newbigin and Tom Felton.

Legend (1985) Film4 7:00pm-8:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A peasant boy, who has a special bond with animals and fairies, shows his sweetheart the last surviving unicorns. Unfortunately, a monstrous demon and his goblin henchmen despise the mythical creatures and trick the girl into harming one of them, forcing Jack to act quickly to save her immortal soul. Ridley Scott’s fantasy adventure, starring Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry and David Bennent.

The Client (1994) ITV4 9:15pm-11:40pm
A Mafia lawyer tells a boy where a politician’s body is buried shortly before committing suicide, prompting a team of district attorneys to press the young witness for information. However, the streetwise kid refuses to give evidence unless his own and his family’s safety is guaranteed, and hires a lawyer to ensure his demands are met. Courtroom thriller based on the novel by John Grisham, with Susan Sarandon, Tommy Lee Jones and Brad Renfro.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) ITV 10:45pm-1:15am (2 hours 30 minutes)
A reprogrammed killing machine is sent back in time to the 20th century to protect John Connor, a teenage boy whose destiny is to save the human race. After breaking John’s mother out of a mental institution, the pair set out to avert a future nuclear war – pursued by an advanced prototype terminator with shape-changing powers. Sci-fi action adventure sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong and Robert Patrick.

SUNDAY 15th JANUARY

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One Fine Day
(1996) Film4 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The working day for two mismatched single professionals is thrown into turmoil when their children have to stay at home after missing a school trip. The pair agree to take it in turns to babysit while struggling to stick to their hectic schedules – but during the course of the day their feelings for each other blossom unexpectedly. Romantic comedy, starring George Clooney, Michelle Pfeiffer, Charles Durning and Mae Whitman.

Space Jam (1996) ITV2 3:00pm-4:45pm
Aliens arrive on Earth to abduct the Looney Tunes gang as a new attraction at their failing intergalactic theme park. To keep their freedom, Bugs Bunny and friends challenge the invaders to a high-stakes basketball game, calling on Michael Jordan to save the day and send the extraterrestrials back where they came from. Live action and animated comedy, starring Bill Murray and Danny DeVito, with the voices of Billy West and Bill Farmer.

You’ve Got Mail (1998) Channel 5 4:45pm-7:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Two rivals in the bookshop business fall in love over the internet, unaware they know and dislike each other in the real world. While things remain frosty in person, the pair’s anonymous online relationship continues to blossom. Romantic comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey and Dabney Coleman.

Flight of the Navigator (1986) Film4 4:50pm-6:35pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A boy mysteriously disappears in 1978, and is found eight years later, having not aged a day. He escapes being experimented on by government scientists by taking off in a crashed alien spaceship. With the help of the robot pilot, he tries to find out what has happened to him and if he can get back home. Sci-fi adventure, starring Joey Cramer and Veronica Cartwright, with the voice of Paul Reubens.

Police Academy 4: Citizens on Patrol (1987) ITV4 8:15pm-10:00pm
Commandant Lassard comes to the conclusion that his staff are overworked, so in an attempt to solve the problem, he assigns the clueless cops to teach a group of equally inept civilians how to combat crime. Comedy sequel, with Steve Guttenberg, Sharon Stone, Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow and David Graf.

The English Patient (1996) ITV3 10:30pm-1:40am
The enigmatic, badly burned survivor of a Second World War plane crash is tended by a French-Canadian nurse in a derelict Italian monastery. He tells her the story of his passionate love affair with a married Englishwoman. Anthony Minghella’s Oscar-winning romantic drama, based on the novel by Michael Ondaatje, starring Ralph Fiennes, Kristin Scott Thomas, Juliette Binoche, Willem Dafoe, Naveen Andrews, Colin Firth and Kevin Whately.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep warm, keep safe and keep having fun!

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Finger lickin’ good! Another retro movie weekend is here and boy oh boy are we glad!

With another retro movie weekend ahead of us, we’ll sit like a old and wise native American as we survey all the lays before us. Plucking out only the very best of hits like picking out the best feathers for a headdress, we’ll watch with eager eyes some of the biggest on screen action like gazing at the dancing flames on a fire.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 26th NOVEMBER

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The Waterboy
(1998) ITV2 3:00pm-4:55pm
An American football team’s waterboy puts up with constant ridicule from the players. But one day his anger gets the better of him and he demonstrates an unexpected talent for tackling – so the coach gives him a chance to prove his worth on the pitch. However, he has to keep his blossoming sporting career a secret from his overprotective mother. Comedy, with Adam Sandler, Kathy Bates, Henry Winkler and Fairuza Balk.

It’s a Wonderful Life (1946) 3:20pm-6:10pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
A hard-working, small-town businessman comes to think his life has been a complete waste of time and tries to commit suicide. At the last minute, his guardian angel pays him a visit and makes him realise his true worth by showing him what would have happened to those around him had he never been born. Fantasy drama, starring James Stewart, Donna Reed, Lionel Barrymore, Henry Travers, Beulah Bondi, Thomas Mitchell and Frank Faylen.

The Mummy (1999) ITV2 6:25pm-8:45pm
A soldier of fortune joins an academic and her conniving brother on an expedition to an ancient Egyptian lost city. The explorers accidentally cause the spirit of a vengeful priest with awe-inspiring supernatural powers to rise from his tomb, leading to a desperate battle for survival. Fantasy action adventure, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo and Oded Fehr.

Speed (1994) Channel 4 11:40pm-1:45am (2 hours 5 minutes)
An LAPD cop discovers a psychopathic criminal has planted a bomb on a crowded bus, primed to go off if the vehicle drops below 50mph. He boards the vehicle and helps the hapless passenger who has been forced to take the wheel to keep a constant speed to avoid a disaster. Action thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Dennis Hopper and Jeff Daniels.

Eraser (1996) ITV4 11:00pm-1:15am
An arms industry executive is placed in danger after she exposes evidence of illegal deals by an international corporation. The authorities respond by assigning her to the custody of a government agent who specialises in helping federal witnesses disappear from the system. However, when the operative is framed for murder, he is forced to balance his duties with efforts to clear his own name. Action thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Caan, Vanessa L Williams and James Coburn.

SUNDAY 27th NOVEMBER

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Clueless
(1995) E4 12:30pm-2:30pm (2 hours)
A rich high-school student uses all her charm and financial clout to boost an awkward new pupil’s image, but soon finds she has created a monster – while her own popularity suffers in the process. Comedy inspired by Jane Austen’s Emma, starring Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy and Paul Rudd.

Clueless Clothing

Deep Impact (1998) BBC2 6:10pm-8:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A TV reporter investigating a presidential misdemeanour stumbles on evidence that a comet is on a collision course with Earth, threatening the future of the human race. Meanwhile, an astronaut prepares to lead his crew on a do-or-die mission to intercept the danger. Sci-fi drama, starring Robert Duvall, Tea Leoni, Morgan Freeman and Elijah Wood.

Ace Ventura: Pet Detective (1994) Comedy Central 6:20pm-8:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An eccentric but brilliant former cop sets himself up to champion the underdog – as a private eye specialising in locating missing animals. The zany detective is called in to find a kidnapped dolphin – the mascot of an American football team – and uncovers a plot involving high-level police corruption. Comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Courteney Cox, Sean Young, Tone Loc and Noble Willingham.

Mission: Impossible 2 (2000) Film4 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Secret agent Ethan Hunt sent to find and destroy the only sample of a deadly man-made virus. However, he faces tough opposition in a former spy-turned-criminal mastermind who has already acquired the cure and now wants the pathogen itself. Director John Woo’s action thriller sequel, starring Tom Cruise, Dougray Scott, Thandie Newton and Anthony Hopkins.

Men in Black (1997) Film4 9:00pm-10:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.

Saving Private Ryan (1998) Channel 5 9:00pm-12:20am (3 hours 20 minutes)
In the aftermath of the Normandy landings, a group of American soldiers scours the battlefields of France in search of a missing infantryman, who has been given compassionate leave to return home because his brothers have been killed in the conflict. Steven Spielberg’s Oscar-winning Second World War drama, starring Tom Hanks, Tom Sizemore, Edward Burns, Matt Damon, Barry Pepper and Vin Diesel.

Lock Up (1989) ITV4 11:00pm-1:10am
A convict is transferred to a maximum security prison, where he falls foul of a sadistic warden with a grudge against him – and who abuses his position of power to make the inmate’s life a misery and destroy his good relationship with the guards. Thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Donald Sutherland, Darlanne Fluegel and Tom Sizemore.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep the stereo up and the dance moves down.

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Grilled cheese sandwich! Another retro movie filled weekend is here and boy is it a treat!

With chips stacked high and the smell of anticipation in the air, we find ourselves at the mercy of lady luck as we roll the dice so see if our big moment it here. We’ll watch with eager eyes as the sacred little white ball that holds all our hopes and dreams at that moment starts to spin and flicks it’s way around the roulette wheel.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 19th NOVEMBER

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Scrooged
(1988) E4 2:30pm-4:30pm (2 hours)
A heartless TV executive is cruel to his employees and just sees the festive season as an opportunity to make money. However, on Christmas Eve, three ghosts arrive in the night and challenge him to change his cynical ways by showing him his past, present and future. Comedy based on Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, starring Bill Murray, Karen Allen, John Forsythe, David Johansen and Carol Kane.

Short Circuit 2 (1988) Film4 2:50pm-5:05pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Manic mechanoid Johnny Five meets an old friend in New York City and embarks on a fact-finding tour – but ends up entangled in a series of escapades culminating in a bank robbery. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean, Cynthia Gibb and Jack Weston, with the voice of Tim Blaney.

Fun Fact: While it is usually accepted the city in the movie is New York, Oscar gives Number 5 a tourism guide with St. Louis on the cover and it was actually filmed in Canada.

Harry and the Hendersons (1987) 5STAR 2:55pm-5:05pm
A hapless family’s camping holiday in the mountains is brought to a sudden end when they accidentally hit the legendary Bigfoot with their car. They decide to adopt the endearing creature, but have more trouble than expected trying to keep him concealed and to avoid arousing their neighbours’ suspicions. Comedy, starring John Lithgow, Melinda Dillon, David Suchet, Don Ameche and Kevin Peter Hall.

Every Which Way But Loose (1978) ITV4 3:00pm-5:15pm
A truck driver travels across America with his faithful orang-utan competing in bare-knuckle fights for extra cash. He becomes smitten with a country singer who subsequently vanishes without a trace, so man and ape set off in search of her – with an enraged gang of bikers in pursuit. Action comedy, starring Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Geoffrey Lewis and Beverly D’Angelo.

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) 3:10pm-5:00pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

Big (1988) Film4 5:05pm-7:10pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Boyz N the Hood (1991) BBC2 10:45pm-12:30am (1 hour 45 minutes)
A bright but underachieving teenager with a domineering single father strikes up a friendship with two brothers, and over time, the three young men each follow their own path – but a tragedy eventually leaves them facing a dangerous choice. Drama, starring Cuba Gooding Jr, Laurence Fishburne, Morris Chestnut and Ice Cube.

First Blood (1982) ITV4 11:35pm-1:40am
Vietnam veteran John Rambo is wrongfully arrested in a backwoods town and tested to the limits of his endurance by a brutal deputy. Rambo escapes from his cell and heads out to the woods, and with the forces of the law in hot pursuit he finally has the chance to fight them on his own terms. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Brian Dennehy, Richard Crenna and David Caruso.

SUNDAY 20th NOVEMBER

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Inspector Gadget
(1999) Channel 4 7:55am-9:30am (1 hour 35 minutes)
A clumsy security guard is critically injured during a run-in with a thief, so his cybernetics-expert employer transforms him into the ultimate crime-fighting machine – a bionic officer with an array of gadgets and weaponry cunningly concealed inside his body. Disney comedy adventure based on the 1980s cartoon series, starring Matthew Broderick, Rupert Everett and Joely Fisher.

The Aristocats (1970) Channel 4 5:05pm-6:35pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
A jealous butler is outraged when his employer leaves a vast fortune to her cat and kittens instead of to him, so he drives the pets to the French countryside and dumps them. However, a streetwise alley cat steps in to help the pampered felines find their way home and claim their rightful inheritance. Animated Disney adventure, with the voices of Eva Gabor, Phil Harris and Scatman Crothers.

The Mummy (1999) ITV2 6:40pm-9:00pm
A soldier of fortune joins an academic and her conniving brother on an expedition to an ancient Egyptian lost city. The explorers accidentally cause the spirit of a vengeful priest with awe-inspiring supernatural powers to rise from his tomb, leading to a desperate battle for survival. Fantasy action adventure, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo and Oded Fehr.

Predator (1987) Movie Mix 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An elite military team takes on a top-secret mission in the jungles of Central America, but the soldiers realise they have been deceived by their CIA employers. A greater danger presents itself when they are stalked by a lethal alien big-game hunter with the power to become invisible, that has come to Earth to stalk human prey. Sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers and Bill Duke.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep, dry, keep moving forward and keep bees. Bees optional.

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Sweet potato pie! Another retro movie weekend is before us and….well…what a treat it is!

So like a battle torn and sea life hardened Pirate, we find ourselves standing before a overflowing chest of treasure. Stacked high with gems, gold and silver, we’ll dream of all the amazing things that our plunder will bring us before safely stashing it in our super-secret hiding place. Will we ever return to get it back and will it still be there if we do? Time will tell.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 27th August

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Superman
(1978) ITV4 4:00pm-7:00pm
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman TShirts

Turner & Hooch (1989) E4 4:30pm-6:30pm (2 hours)
A Californian detective investigating the murder of a local man by drug smugglers has only one witness to help him solve the case – the large, smelly dog that belonged to the victim, which is about to turn the detective’s well-ordered existence into chaos. Family comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham and Craig T Nelson.

Coming to America (1988) Dave 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A bored African prince defies his father’s plans for an arranged marriage and escapes to the USA to find a bride on his own terms. Comedy, starring Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in several roles, with James Earl Jones, Allison Dean, Eriq La Salle and Madge Sinclair.

Rambo III (1988) Syfy 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Predator 2 (1990) Film4 11:20pm-1:30am (2 hours 10 minutes)
A Los Angeles cop, working to bring down the city’s drug gangs, suspects Jamaican criminals when he discovers several of his targets killed and skinned alive. However, the culprit behind the murders reveals himself to be an alien big-game hunter – with the stealth and guile to outwit the police and criminals alike. Sci-fi sequel, starring Danny Glover, Bill Paxton, Gary Busey and Maria Conchita Alonso.

Fun Fact: The film was re-cut over 20 times, according to director Stephen Hopkins, because of more graphic shots of mutilated bodies and decapitations by the Predator.

SUNDAY 28th August

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Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
(1989) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A professor invents a ray with the power to reduce objects in size. Unfortunately, his kids and their meddling friends activate it and are shrunk to microscopic proportions. When they are accidentally thrown out with the rubbish, the children have to contend with all kinds of animals and insects on their journey home across the backyard. Disney comedy, with Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman and Amy O’Neill.

Bean (1997) ITV2 4:55pm-6:45pm
The hapless fool is employed as a security guard for a British art gallery and is sent to Los Angeles to bring back a famous painting. Unfortunately, he finds himself mistaken for a renowned art professor and invited to make an important presentation. Mel Smith’s British comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Burt Reynolds, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Peter Capaldi and June Brow.

Mr Bean TShirt

Despicable Me (2010) ITV 4:55pm-6:35pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minions Merchandise

Star Trek: First Contact (1996) Syfy 4:50pm-7:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Captain Jean-Luc Picard and the crew of the Enterprise face their deadliest enemies, the Borg, who travel back in time in an attempt to change Earth’s history. The starship follows on a mission to foil their plan, but the vessel is taken over by members of the cyborg collective, leaving Picard consumed by a desire for revenge. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, James Cromwell and Alice Krige.

Star Trek Clothing

MONDAY 29th August

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Beethoven (1992) ITV 10:30am-12:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992) Channel 4 12:55pm-2:40pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A scientist perfects a device for making objects grow when they come into contact with electricity. Unfortunately, his two-year-old son is accidentally turned into a giant and goes on the rampage through the streets of Las Vegas. Disney comedy sequel, starring Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman, Robert Oliveri and Lloyd Bridges.

Joe Kidd (1972) 3:15pm-5:00pm Channel 5 (1 hour 45 minutes)
A bounty hunter is asked to capture a Mexican rebel, and accepts the job after the outlaw’s men attack his own ranch. But when he witnesses the cruel methods used by his employer, he resolves to bring the fugitive to a fair trial rather than let him face rough justice. Western, starring Clint Eastwood, Robert Duvall and John Saxon. Edited for language and violence.

Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985) ITV4 5:10pm-7:00pm
America’s most inept cops graduate and are let loose on the streets – under the command of an unscrupulous lieutenant whose promotion depends on their failure. Fortunately for him, their unique brand of policing actually leads to an increase in the crime rate. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, David Graf and Michael Winslow.

The Dirty Dozen (1967) Dave 5:00pm-8:00pm (3 hours)
An uncompromising major is placed in charge of a seemingly suicidal mission to destroy a French chateau being used as a base by Nazi officers. Needing tough but expendable soldiers for the task, he recruits 12 hardened criminals from a military prison. Second World War action adventure, starring Lee Marvin, Telly Savalas, Ernest Borgnine, Charles Bronson and Donald Sutherland.

Thor: The Dark World (2013) BBC1 8:30pm-10:15pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The alien thunder god returns to Earth when a powerful weapon from the dawn of time is discovered. The device attracts the attention of an old enemy of his people, who intends to use it to plunge the universe into darkness – and to stop him, Thor must form an uneasy alliance with his treacherous brother Loki. Superhero adventure sequel, starring Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston and Natalie Portman.

Thor Merchandise

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, maybe wait ten mins before eating more and don’t forget to take a plastic bag with you to the shops.

xoxo

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Crisps and dips! It’s Retro Movie Rundown O’Clock!

So with an entire weekend of classic movie goodness topped with some more modern releases icing, we find ourselves once again stashing up on all the essentials needed to complete our movie mission; milk in the fridge (for cereal and tea making abilities), big soft duvet, chocolate for obvious reasons and of course a whoooooole bunch of time and quiet….which is usually where things fall apart. With all these things in place, it’s time to draw the curtains, unplug the phone (is that still a thing?) and dive into the weekends movies! See you there.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 20th August

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Short Circuit 2
(1988) Film4 1:00pm-3:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Manic mechanoid Johnny Five meets an old friend in New York City and embarks on a fact-finding tour – but ends up entangled in a series of escapades culminating in a bank robbery. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean, Cynthia Gibb and Jack Weston, with the voice of Tim Blaney.

Batteries Not Included (1987) ITV2 2:45pm-4:50pm
A family of tiny alien spacecraft intervenes to help the residents of a run-down Manhattan brownstone tenement stop greedy developers from demolishing their homes. However, the miniature flying saucers have the odds stacked against them as they bravely do all they can to save the day. Sci-fi fantasy, starring Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Frank McRae and Elizabeth Pena.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) Film4 3:20pm-6:20pm (3 hours)
The war between the shape-shifting robots erupts once again, as the first of the evil Decepticons leads an attack on Earth to locate an ancient planet-destroying machine. Hapless teenager Sam Witwicky is caught in the middle of the ensuing conflict as he holds the key to discovering the location of the device. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox.

Transformers TShirts

Enemy of the State (1998) Sky 1 9:00pm-11:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
A chance encounter with an old friend derails a successful lawyer’s fast-track career, plunging him headlong into a deadly game of cat and mouse with relentless government agents capable of anticipating his every move. He quickly realises the only way to save his own life is to expose the truths his pursuers seem so intent on covering up, and seeks out a former intelligence agent to take them on at their own game. Thriller, starring Will Smith, Gene Hackman, Jon Voight and Lisa Bonet.

Die Hard (1988) E4 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
New York cop John McClane visits Los Angeles to see his family over the Christmas holiday. Stopping off at his wife’s place of work, he realises armed men have taken over the building and are holding the corporation’s staff to ransom – and only he has the ability to fight back. Action thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and Bonnie Bedelia.

Child’s Play 2 (1990) ITV4 11:00pm-12:45am
Murderous doll Chucky is accidentally resurrected by an unwitting toy manufacturer, and seeks out his former owner to continue his efforts to regain a human body. Horror, starring Alex Vincent, Jenny Agutter, Gerrit Graham, Christine Elise and Grace Zabriskie.

SUNDAY 21st August

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Father of the Bride Part II
(1995) BBC2 1:00pm-2:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A put-upon father has just got used to his daughter being married, when he learns she is pregnant. Thrown into a mid-life crisis, he impulsively sells his house so he and his wife can buy the seafront retreat they had always dreamed about – only for responsibility to come crashing back on him when his wife reveals she is also expecting. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Martin and Diane Keaton.

Turner & Hooch (1989) E4 2:30pm-4:35pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A Californian detective investigating the murder of a local man by drug smugglers has only one witness to help him solve the case – the large, smelly dog that belonged to the victim, which is about to turn the detective’s well-ordered existence into chaos. Family comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham and Craig T Nelson.

The Incredible Hulk (2008) ITV 3:20pm-5:25pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A bungled experiment causes a scientist to turn into a monster whenever he gets angry. He travels the world seeking a cure for his condition, while a ruthless general is determined to capture him and use the creature as a weapon. However, one of the soldiers under the officer’s command undergoes a terrifying transformation of his own. Comic-book adventure, starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth and William Hurt.

Hulk Merchandise

Big (1988) Film4 4:35pm-6:40pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) Channel 4 8:00pm-11:00pm (3 hours)
The heroic autobots discover that a spaceship from their own planet crashed into the moon decades ago, carrying their former leader and an incredibly powerful device. They must fight to defend the human race as their enemies the decepticons plot to use this machine to rebuild their own world and destroy the Earth. Sci-fi adventure sequel, with Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley.

Transformers Clothing

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget to print your tickets (if you have to) and to put the lid back on the toothpaste. No…really!
xoxo

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