Total Recall

Holy smokes Batman! Another retro movie weekend is here and boy are we excited!

Kicking down the door of our local Blockbusters (metaphorically), we find ourselves faced with a entire plethora of awesome retro movies just waiting to be released and enjoyed. Walking the isles, we gaze across the start-studded covers with all their promise or action, romance and of course some cracking one liners. After carefully selecting our weekend fill, we’ll slam our membership card on the desk before smoothly walking away in what felt like slow motion and through the fog. We will be back…

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 20th May

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The Parent Trap (1998) 5STAR 1:30pm-4:05pm
Identical twin sisters who are unaware of each other’s existence meet by accident. They decide to join forces in a bid to reunite their estranged parents, and switch places to get the warring couple to kiss and make up. Remake of the 1961 Disney comedy, starring Dennis Quaid, Natasha Richardson, Elaine Hendrix and Lindsay Lohan in a dual role.

Last Action Hero (1993) Sony channel 6:20pm-9:00pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
A boy watching an action movie is transported into the film by a magic ticket and meets its hero figure, who refuses to believe he is a fictional character. Matters take a turn for the worse when the screen villain gets hold of the ticket and crosses over into the real world – where bad guys can win. Comedy adventure, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin O’Brien, Charles Dance, F Murray Abraham and Anthony Quinn.

Navy Seals (1990) ITV4 9:00pm-11:20pm
The US Navy’s elite commando force embarks on a dangerous covert mission to rescue hostages from an Arab terrorist in Beirut. However, the assignment proves far more serious than expected when they realise their enemies have acquired powerful stolen missiles. Action adventure, starring Charlie Sheen, Michael Biehn, Joanne Whalley, Bill Paxton and Rick Rossovich.

Total Recall (1990) ITV 9:50pm-12:20am
A construction worker pays to have fake memories of a dream holiday implanted into his brain, but discovers his mind has already been tampered with – apparently to erase his true identity as a secret agent from a colony on Mars. He journeys to the planet in search of the truth, but is drawn into a conflict between the tyrannical ruler and a rebel faction. Paul Verhoeven’s sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin and Michael Ironside.

The Outlaw Josey Wales (1976) Dave 10:00pm-12:40am (2 hours 40 minutes)
A Confederate soldier refuses to surrender at the end of the Civil War, and is branded a dangerous outlaw. Crossing America in search of sanctuary from the army and bounty hunters, he only wants solitude – but ends up with a strange assortment of travelling companions. Western, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood. With Chief Dan George and Sondra Locke

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) ITV4 4 11:20pm-1:15am
A crook and his unhinged brother take a preacher’s family hostage and cross the border into Mexico. They head to a rough strip club to make a planned rendezvous with a third party – but they soon have to live on their wits when they realise that the establishment’s staff are vampires. Horror, starring George Clooney, Harvey Keitel, Quentin Tarantino, Juliette Lewis and Salma Hayek.

SUNDAY 21st May

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Hook (1991) Sony Movie Channel 11:30am-2:35pm (3 hours 5 minutes)
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Willow (1988) Channel 5 2:45pm-5:10pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A farmer with dreams of becoming a wizard finds an abandoned baby, who is destined to bring about the downfall of an evil queen. The wicked tyrant’s minions have been sent to kill the child before she can fulfil the prophecy, and it falls to the would-be sorcerer to protect her, with the aid of a rogue warrior. Fantasy adventure, starring Warwick Davis and Val Kilmer.

Time Bandits (1981) Film4 2:50pm-5:05pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A bemused schoolboy is escorted on a bizarre journey through time by a group of larcenous dwarfs. His adventures lead him to encounters with various characters from history – but none of them are quite what he had imagined. Terry Gilliam’s fantasy comedy, starring Craig Warnock, David Rappaport, John Cleese, Michael Palin, Sean Connery, Ian Holm, Ralph Richardson and David Warner.

Robin Hood (1973) Chennel 4 3:50pm-5:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The adventures of the legendary outlaw and Sherwood Forest’s band of heroes as they rob the rich to feed the poor, while evil Prince John hatches a cunning plan to exact revenge and finish off the brigands. Disney animation, with the voices of Terry-Thomas, Peter Ustinov, Phil Harris, Brian Bedford and Monica Evans.

The Man with the Golden Gun (1974) ITV 4:20pm-6:40pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
James Bond’s investigation into the death of a world-renowned scientist working on solar technology draws him into a battle of wits with a stealthy assassin, who dispatches his victims with a golden bullet and has the British secret agent next in his sights. Spy adventure, starring Roger Moore, Christopher Lee, Britt Ekland and Maud Adams.

James Bond TShirts

Labyrinth (1986) Channel 5 5:10pm-7:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A teenager wishes her baby brother would be taken away, only to have her request granted by a band of goblins and their sinister king. She regrets her decision and sets out to rescue him, but to reach the castle where he is being held, she must find her way through a magical maze full of strange creatures. Jim Henson’s fantasy adventure, starring Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie.

Labyrinth Merchandise

The Cable Guy (1996) Sony Movie Channel 7:05pm-9:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A man makes the mistake of engaging a cable TV installer in conversation in a ploy to get all the channels for free. However, the manic repairman shows an invincible determination to be his new best friend – and does not take kindly to rejection. Comedy directed by Ben Stiller, starring Jim Carrey, Matthew Broderick and George Segal.

The Terminator (1984) Spike 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
A cyborg assassin is sent on a murderous mission back in time to the 20th century, where he wreaks havoc while searching for his intended victim – a woman whose unborn son is destined to lead the human race in a war against machines. However, a soldier has also been sent from the future to protect her. James Cameron’s sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton and Michael Biehn.

Highlander (1986) Channel 5 11:55pm-2:00am (2 hours 5 minutes)
A 16th-century Scottish clansman discovers he is one of a race of immortal warriors who can only be killed by beheading, and who are destined to fight to the death until just one survives. Centuries later in modern-day New York, he prepares for a final showdown with his deadliest enemy. Fantasy action adventure, starring Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, Clancy Brown and Roxanne Hart.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, stay cool, stay humble and stay out all night!



Great balls of fire! Another weekend, another retro movie rundown.

With great gusts and great gales, the wild weather beats and howls at the windows. Hearing the thrashing of the branches and the hollow scrapes of the bins, we’ll tuck ourselves in for another night amongst the safety of the sofa and warm glow of the box. Peeping out the window only to observe the chaos and fury of the outside world, before heading back to view the retro movie wonders that will once again be beaming their way into our little world.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 25th FEBRUARY

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Muppets from Space
(1999) Sony Channel 9:00am-10:50am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Gonzo hits the road with pal Rizzo in tow and goes in search of his roots – only to make the amazing discovery that his parents belonged to a race of aliens. He then has to choose whether to board a UFO and return to his family, or stay with the friends he knows and loves. Family comedy, with F Murray Abraham, David Arquette, Ray Liotta, Andie MacDowell and Rob Schneider alongside the puppets.

The Muppets Merchandise

Free Willy 2: The Adventure Home (1995) ITV 12:00pm-1:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The friendly whale is reunited with Jesse, the boy who saved him from captivity. Jesse and his younger half-brother Elvis take time out from a family holiday to help save Willy and his pod from the danger posed by oil spilling from a crippled tanker. Family adventure, starring Jason James Richter, Michael Madsen, August Schellenberg and Francis Capra.

Harry and the Hendersons (1987) 5STAR 2:55pm-5:05pm
A hapless family’s camping holiday in the mountains is brought to a sudden end when they accidentally hit the legendary Bigfoot with their car. They decide to adopt the endearing creature, but have more trouble than expected trying to keep him concealed and to avoid arousing their neighbours’ suspicions. Comedy, starring John Lithgow, Melinda Dillon, David Suchet, Don Ameche and Kevin Peter Hall.

Cutthroat Island (1995) 12:55pm-3:15pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A tough female pirate enlists the help of an educated slave in finding the three parts of a map leading to buried treasure. However, one of the pieces is in the hands of her cruel uncle, and she also has to find the loot before her crew mutinies or the British Navy catches up with her. Swashbuckling adventure, starring Geena Davis, Matthew Modine, Frank Langella and Maury Chaykin.

Dirty Dancing (1987) 5STAR 5:05pm-7:10pm
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

American Pie (1999) ITV2 9:00pm-11:00pm
Four teenage boys make a solemn pact to lose their virginity before the high-school prom, and though their antics cause them huge embarrassment and public humiliation, the friends also learn about love and affection in their relations with the opposite sex. Coming-of-age comedy, starring Jason Biggs, Shannon Elizabeth, Chris Klein, Alyson Hannigan, Mena Suvari, Seann William Scott and Eugene Levy.

Red Heat (1988) ITV4 11:00pm-1:05am
A Russian detective travels to America to oversee the extradition of a Georgian drug baron responsible for supplying cocaine in Moscow. He is teamed up with a hostile Chicago cop, but when their prisoner kills an officer and escapes, they put aside their mutual mistrust to bring him to justice. Action thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, James Belushi, Peter Boyle, Laurence Fishburne and Ed O’Ross.

SUNDAY 26th FEBRUARY

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Matilda
(1996) Sony Movie Channel 11:30am-1:40pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Roald Dahl Clothing

Dragnet (1987) Dave 2:50pm-5:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A by-the-book Los Angeles cop is paired with a laidback new partner to investigate the nefarious activities of a TV evangelist and a pornographic-magazine baron suspected of operating a criminal cult. Comedy spoof of the 1950s TV series, starring Dan Aykroyd, Tom Hanks, Christopher Plummer and the original show’s star Harry Morgan.

Jumanji (1995) Sony Movie Channel 3:55pm-6:05pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A man who has been trapped inside a mysterious jungle board game for 26 years is eventually freed when two children start to play it. Unfortunately, he arrives with a rampaging horde of animals on his heels, leaving only one solution – to finish the game he started all those years ago. Fantasy adventure, starring Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst and Bonnie Hunt.

101 Dalmatians (1996) Channel 4 4:30pm-6:30pm (2 hours)
Wicked fashion designer Cruella De Vil steals a huge litter of newborn Dalmatian puppies to turn into a magnificent coat – but the lucky pups have many four-legged friends who are determined the evil woman and her cronies will get their just deserts. Disney’s live-action remake of the animated comedy adventure, starring Glenn Close, Jeff Daniels, Joely Richardson, Hugh Laurie and Mark Williams.

Disney Merchandise

The Fifth Element (1997) Channel 5 6:00pm-8:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman.

Kindergarten Cop (1990) ITV2 6:45pm-9:00pm
A tough detective is forced to pose as a preschool teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson.

Braveheart (1995) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-12:45am (3 hours 45 minutes)
Account of the life of medieval Scottish hero William Wallace. After the slaughter of his father and brother, young Wallace is taken in by his uncle, who teaches him how to use not only his brawn but his brain – which he employs to great effect years later when he resolves to drive the English out of Scotland. Oscar-winning historical epic, directed by and starring Mel Gibson. With Patrick McGoohan, Sophie Marceau and Catherine McCormack.

Total Recall (1990) ITV4 10:00pm-12:15am
A construction worker pays to have fake memories of a dream holiday implanted into his brain, but discovers his mind has already been tampered with – apparently to erase his true identity as a secret agent from a colony on Mars. He journeys to the planet in search of the truth, but is drawn into a conflict between the tyrannical ruler and a rebel faction. Paul Verhoeven’s sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin and Michael Ironside.

Clear and Present Danger (1994) Channel 4 11:00pm-1:30am (2 hours 30 minutes)
A CIA analyst gets caught up in the Colombian drug trade while trying to track down terrorists responsible for the murder of a close friend of the US president – but his investigations point to illegal activity and corruption at the very top of government. Action thriller, based on Tom Clancy’s novel, with Harrison Ford reprising his role from Patriot Games alongside Willem Dafoe, Anne Archer and James Earl Jones.

The Terminator (1984) Channel 5 11:15pm-1:15am (2 hours)
A cyborg assassin is sent on a murderous mission back in time to the 20th century, where he wreaks havoc while searching for his intended victim – a woman whose unborn son is destined to lead the human race in a war against machines. However, a soldier has also been sent from the future to protect her. James Cameron’s sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton and Michael Biehn.

From Dusk Till Dawn (1996) ITV4 12:15am-2:15am
A crook and his unhinged brother take a preacher’s family hostage and cross the border into Mexico. They head to a rough strip club to make a planned rendezvous with a third party – but they soon have to live on their wits when they realise that the establishment’s staff are vampires. Horror, starring George Clooney, Harvey Keitel, Quentin Tarantino, Juliette Lewis and Salma Hayek.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember it’s better to buy more before you run and that sometimes even the smallest changes can make the biggest difference.

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Hot jam doughnuts! It’s the weekend all over again? Okay, well if you insist!

Like a trusty and experienced local fishmongers (bear with us), we find ourselves seeking out some of the finest retro films like that mornings catch of the day. We’re looking for something that’s different, beautiful with plenty of action to it that will dazzle our customers and keep them coming back for more. Keeping our selection cooler than a high school jock in a teen film, we’ll display them with pride like our ever growing DVD collection before selecting the perfect specimen to help us create the perfect fish pie and retro movie night in.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 20th FEBRUARY

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Death of a Gunfighter (1969) ITV4 2:20pm-4:15pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A frontier marshal kills a drunken man in self defense, but finds his uncompromising brand of justice is no longer condoned by the locals. When he refuses to step down, the town fathers realise they may have to use violent methods of their own to rid themselves of him. Western, starring Richard Widmark, Lena Horne, Carroll O’Connor and David Opatoshu.

Superman (1978) ITV4 4:15pm-7:10pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman Merchandise

Despicable Me 2 (2013) ITV London 5:00pm-7:00pm (2 hours)
A reformed criminal mastermind who has abandoned his wicked ways for a life of fatherhood and jam-making helps a secret agent to bring one of his fellow evil geniuses to justice. The villain in question has stolen a dangerous experimental serum with the power to turn harmless animals into ravening monsters. Animated comedy sequel, with the voices of Steve Carell and Kristen Wiig.

Minions Merchandise

The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008) ITV2 5:35pm-7:45pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Daredevil explorers Rick and Evelyn O’Connell are called into action when their son accidentally resurrects the evil Chinese Emperor Han from his ancient tomb. The family now faces a race against time to prevent the merciless leader from awakening his vast terracotta army in a plot to take over the world. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser, Maria Bello, Jet Li and Michelle Yeoh.

Cast Away (2000) BBC2 London 7:00pm-9:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A manager for an American courier service has to fend for himself when a plane crash leaves him stranded alone on a desert island. Initially panic-stricken, he overcomes his terror to survive for four years on his own before building a raft and setting off on an epic journey back home. Adventure drama, starring Tom Hanks, Helen Hunt, Nick Searcy, Lari White and Chris Noth.

RoboCop (2014) Channel 4 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A corporation that creates military robots seizes a chance to diversify into law enforcement when a Detroit cop is critically injured in a bombing. He is rebuilt as a crime-fighting cyborg, but struggles to regain his free will from his creators’ control. Sci-fi thriller remake, starring Joel Kinnaman, Gary Oldman, Michael Keaton and Samuel L Jackson.

Total Recall (1990) ITV4 11:10pm-1:30am (2 hours 20 minutes)
A construction worker pays to have fake memories of a dream holiday implanted into his brain, but discovers his mind has already been tampered with – apparently to erase his true identity as a secret agent from a colony on Mars. He journeys to the planet in search of the truth, but is drawn into a conflict between the tyrannical ruler and a rebel faction. Paul Verhoeven’s sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin and Michael Ironside.

Fun Fact: Arnold Schwarzenegger was originally going to play the title role in RoboCop (1987), but problems with the costume caused producers to drop the idea. After Schwarzenegger saw “RoboCop”, he said that he loved the movie and wanted to work with director Paul Verhoeven. When he and Verhoeven heard about “Total Recall”, they decided to work on that.

Shanghai Noon (2000) BBC1 London 11:35pm-1:20am (1 hour 45 minutes)
A 19th-century imperial guard to the Emperor of China faces a clash of cultures when he is flung into the Wild West on a mission to rescue a princess who has been kidnapped by a renegade. In a bid to complete his quest, he teams up with a bumbling outlaw. Comedy Western, starring Jackie Chan, Owen Wilson, Jason Connery and Lucy Liu.

SUNDAY 21st FEBRUARY

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The ‘Burbs (1989) Channel 5 2:30pm-4:30pm (2 hours)
The arrival of secretive neighbours sparks an unhealthy curiosity in a group of friends, leading them to go to bizarre lengths to discover the truth about the newcomers. However, their investigations take an even weirder twist when they begin to suspect their unseen fellow suburbanites are part of a cannibalistic cult. Joe Dante’s black comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher, Corey Feldman and Henry Gibson.

The Princess Diaries 2: Royal Engagement (2004) Channel 4 3:05pm-5:20pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Princess Mia of Genovia discovers that although she is supposed to take the throne on her 21st birthday, unmarried women like her are barred from being head of state. She now has just 30 days to find herself a husband – but an ambitious nobleman is determined to sabotage her hopes of romance. Family comedy sequel, with Anne Hathaway, Hector Elizondo, Julie Andrews, John Rhys-Davies and Chris Pine.

Live and Let Die (1973) ITV London 3:40pm-6:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
James Bond’s investigation into the murder of three British agents leads him to a connection between the dictator of a Caribbean island and a notorious Harlem drug kingpin – along with a plot to flood America with limitless supplies of free heroin. Spy adventure, with Roger Moore in his first appearance as 007, alongside Yaphet Kotto and Jane Seymour.

The Money Pit (1986) Channel 5 4:35pm-6:20pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Rate Yuppie couple Walter and Anna buy a ramshackle old house and set about renovating it, only to see their dream home gradually turn into a nightmare. Anna also has to contend with her ex-husband, who is determined to talk her into giving their relationship another try. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Shelley Long, Alexander Godunov and Joe Mantegna.

The Fox and the Hound (1981) Channel 5 6:20pm-8:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An orphaned fox cub is taken in by a kindly widow, and becomes firm friends with a puppy belonging to a hunter. However, as they grow to adulthood, the dog is trained to prey on foxes, and the two animals realise their friendship may not survive as they are expected to be natural enemies. Animated adventure, with the voices of Mickey Rooney and Kurt Russell.

Back to the Future (1985) ITV2 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Teenager Marty McFly travels back to the 1950s in a time machine built by his eccentric inventor friend. The return journey proves tricky enough, but he also accidentally alters the sequence of events that led to his parents falling in love – and has to persuade his future dad to win his mother’s heart, or he will never be born. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson and Crispin Glover.

Back to the Future Clothing

Wayne’s World 2 (1993) Comedy Central 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
Heavy metal fanatics Wayne and Garth try to stage a giant Woodstock-style rock festival, with a little help from a spaced-out British roadie and the ghost of Jim Morrison. But Wayne also has to stop his girlfriend leaving him for her slimy manager. Comedy sequel, starring Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Ralph Brown, Kim Basinger, Tia Carrere and Christopher Walken.

Fun Fact: Nirvana was offered a part in the film as one of the performers in Waynestock and band members Kurt Cobain, Dave Grohl and Krist Novoselic were even shown a rough cut of the film to try to persuade them but they eventually declined.

Dirty Dancing (1987) Channel 5 8:00pm-10:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep your chain clean and don’t forget to stay hydrated.
xoxo

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Eddie Munster! It is the weekend!
So a brightly decorated corner of a of family living room, on top a three legged table, inside a neon lit gold fish bowl. Let us be your over active often forgetful pet goldfish while we merrily swim about in circles of retro movie mayhem. We’ll hide in our underwater castle of cinematic greatness, before we end up on our back forever destined to be flushed away into the great abyss of celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 19th JULY

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) ITV London 3:15pm-5:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Two dim-witted teenagers with dreams of rock stardom seem doomed to fail a school history project, unaware the future of the human race  depends on their success. A time traveler is given the job of making sure they pass the test by sending them on a series of adventures in  the past. Comedy, starring Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter and George Carlin.

The Goonies (1985) 5* 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Seven youngsters discover an old map and set out on the adventure of a lifetime to save their homes from a land developer by finding a  legendary pirate’s hidden treasure. However, they first have to navigate a series of booby-trapped underground caverns and outwit a family  of crooks also after the loot. Children’s adventure, starring Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin and Martha Plimpton.

American Pie (1999) ITV2 9:00pm-10:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Four teenage boys make a solemn pact to lose their virginity before the high-school prom, and though their antics cause them huge  embarrassment and public humiliation, the friends also learn about love and affection in their relations with the opposite sex. Coming- of-age comedy, starring Jason Biggs, Shannon Elizabeth, Chris Klein, Alyson Hannigan, Mena Suvari, Seann William Scott and Eugene Levy.

Total Recall (1990) ITV4 10:20pm-12:35am (2 hours 15 minutes)
A construction worker pays to have fake memories of a dream holiday implanted into his brain, but discovers his mind has already been  tampered with – apparently to erase his true identity as a secret agent from a colony on Mars. He journeys to the planet in search of the  truth, but is drawn into a conflict between the tyrannical ruler and a rebel faction. Paul Verhoeven’s sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold  Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin and Michael Ironside.

SUNDAY 20th JULY

Lost in Space (1998) Channel 5 2:40pm-5:10pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
A pioneering scientist takes his family out into space to colonise another planet. However, a saboteur has infiltrated their craft, and  his meddling leaves them stranded in unknown territory on the other side of the galaxy. Sci-fi adventure based on the 1960s TV show,  starring William Hurt, Matt LeBlanc, Gary Oldman, Mimi Rogers and Heather Graham.

Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 4:30pm-6:15pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a  film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

Jaws 3 (1983) ITV4 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours )
A shark is captured by divers and put on display in a Florida marine centre, where it ultimately dies. However, examination of the body  reveals the seemingly fully-grown shark was actually a baby – and its enormous, ferocious mother soon comes looking for it. Thriller  sequel, originally released in cinemas in 3D, starring Dennis Quaid, Simon MacCorkindale, Louis Gossett Jr and Bess Armstrong.

Judge Dredd (1995) Sky Movies Sci-fi & Horror 9:00pm-10:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A law enforcer in a post-apocalyptic city is framed for a series of crimes committed by a fugitive who shares his DNA. He escapes while  being taken to prison and returns to hunt down the culprit and clear his own name. Sci-fi adventure based on the 2000AD comic-strip,  starring Sylvester Stallone, Armand Assante, Max von Sydow, Diane Lane and Rob Schneider.

Whatever you get up to this weekend remember never look a goat in the eye and always enjoy yourselves.

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Alfonso Bonzo! it’s only gone and become the Weekend!

As sure as the Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti, let us proudly be a parade of dignified Elephants Gallantly marching trunk to tail over the African planes as we search out for you nostalgic cinematic fun, retro movie awesomeness and cinematic celluloid greatness.

Have a happy retro weekend :-)

SATURDAY 16th MARCH

Private Benjamin (1980)Channel 5 4:05pm-6:10pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A scatterbrained society woman looks for a change of pace after her husband dies on their wedding night, and is tricked by a duplicitous recruiter into enlisting in the army. In spite of the initial culture shock and conflict with her tough commanding officer, she gradually finds direction and self-esteem for the first time in her life. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Armand Assante, Eileen Brennan, Harry Dean Stanton and Sam Wanamaker.

Teen Wolf(1985)5* 4:35pm-6:25pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A teenage misfit is initially dismayed to learn he is a werewolf as a result of a hereditary curse. He finds there are advantages as he becomes a local celebrity, while his enhanced agility makes him the star player of his school’s basketball team – but fame quickly goes to his head. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, James Hampton and Susan Ursitti.

Men's Teen Wolf Fancy Dress Costume £47.99 (free P&P)

Men's Teen Wolf Fancy Dress Costume £47.99 (free P&P)

Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)Film4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A fast-talking US Army disc jockey is sent to entertain the GIs in 1960s Saigon, but he enrages the military top brass by blasting the airwaves with his irreverent and controversial view of the conflict in South-East Asia. Comic drama, starring Robin Williams, Forest Whitaker and Bruno Kirby.

Total Recall (1990)ITV London 10:40pm-12:45am (2 hours 5 minutes)
A construction worker pays to have fake memories of a dream holiday implanted into his brain, but discovers his mind has already been tampered with – apparently to erase his true identity as a secret agent from a colony on Mars. He journeys to the planet in search of the truth, but is drawn into a conflict between the tyrannical ruler and a rebel faction. Paul Verhoeven’s sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin and Michael.

SUNDAY 17th MARCH

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)Channel 5 6:15pm-8:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

Transformers (2007)E4 8:00pm-10:50pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
Teenager Sam Witwicky is treated to his first car by his dad, but it turns out to be an alien scout with a life of its own. Before long, the vehicle embroils Sam in a long-running intergalactic war between two factions of giant shape-changing robots, which have come to Earth to find a mystical cube that grants infinite power to its possessor. Michael Bay’s sci-fi action adventure, inspired by the toy franchise, with Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Jon Voight and John Turturro.

Ghost (1990)Film4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
The spirit of a murdered executive tries to find a way to help his girlfriend bring his killer to justice and enlists the aid of a fraudulent medium – who is amazed and baffled when her psychic abilities turn out to be all too real. Romantic fantasy, starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Tom Goldwyn and an Oscar-winning Whoopi Goldberg.

Tremors (1989)ITV4 9:00pm-10:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A dull American town in the middle of the desert is suddenly attacked by huge man-eating subterranean creatures. Luckily, two dimwitted but brave handymen step into the breach to lead a ragtag bunch of locals and a mismatched pair of survivalists in the battle against the gruesome worm-like monsters. Comedy horror, with Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Finn Carter, Michael Gross, Reba McEntire and Bobby Jacoby.

Ringadingdong! Bonus movie clip time, just a little taster for the weekend enjoy.

Whatever you get up to this weekend remember to always wash behind your ears, stay safe and enjoy yourselves.

Night night

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