Uncle Edgars twirling moustache! It’s only the weekend! Somewhere deep inside a dense African forest, let us be your forever migrating herd of magnificently giant but eloquent elephants, as we plough our way through the thick bush of retro movie magic looking for vegetation to nourish our cinematic hunger before we stop and bathe in an oasis of celluloid wonder.
Have a happy retro Weekend!
SATURDAY 12th APRIL
Smokey and the Bandit (1977) ITV London 1:15 pm-3:00 pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed
The Goonies (1985) Channel 5 2:15 pm-4:25 pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Seven youngsters uncover an old map and set out on the adventure of a lifetime to save their homes from a land developer by finding a legendary pirate’s hidden treasure. However, they first have to navigate a series of booby-trapped underground caverns and outwit a family of crooks also after the loot. Children’s adventure, starring Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin and Martha Plimpton. Edited for language and violence.
The Incredible Hulk (2008) ITV2 2:35 pm-4:50 pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A bungled experiment causes a scientist to turn into a monster whenever he gets angry. He travels the world seeking a cure for his condition, while a ruthless general is determined to capture him and use the creature as a weapon. However, one of the soldiers under the officer’s command undergoes a terrifying transformation of his own. Comic-book adventure, starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth and William Hurt
Toy Story (1995) BBC3 8:30 pm-9:45 pm (1 hour 15 minutes)
A jealous string-pulled cowboy doll’s status as his owner’s favourite plaything is threatened by the arrival of a charismatic hi-tech astronaut figure, who refuses to believe he is simply a toy. However, the rivals are forced to work together when they are left stranded in the outside world. Pixar animated adventure, featuring the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Don Rickles and Jim Varney.
SUNDAY 13th APRIL
James and the Giant Peach (1996) Film4 3:10 pm-4:45 pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
An unhappy orphan living with his cruel aunts discovers a gigantic peach growing in the garden. Venturing inside, he meets six friendly insects and together they embark on a magical journey. Animated and live-action fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Paul Terry, Joanna Lumley and Miriam Margolyes and featuring the voices of Susan Sarandon and Richard Dreyfuss
Octopussy (1983) ITV London 3:55 pm-6:25 pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
James Bond investigates the mysterious death of a British agent in East Berlin, a mission that leads him to a glamorous, international jewel thief. He discovers one of her criminal cohorts, an Indian gangster, is in league with a crazed Soviet general who plans to heat up the Cold War by detonating a nuclear bomb in an American Air Force Base. Spy adventure, with Roger Moore, Maud Adams, Steven Berkoff and Louis Jourdan
Street Fighter (1994) 5* 4:00 pm-6:00 pm (2 hours )
A military officer heads up a band of martial arts experts on a mission to defeat an insane dictator holding a group of people hostage. Action adventure based on the video game, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Kylie Minogue, Simon Callow and Ming Na
Private Benjamin (1980) ITV3 10:00 pm-12:20 am (2 hours 20 minutes)
A scatterbrained society woman looks for a change of pace after her husband dies on their wedding night, and is tricked by a duplicitous recruiter into enlisting in the army. In spite of the initial culture shock and conflict with her tough commanding officer, she gradually finds direction and self-esteem for the first time in her life. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Armand Assante, Eileen Brennan, Harry Dean Stanton and Sam Wanamaker.
Whatever you get up to this Weekend remember never do a rain dance in the living room and always enjoy yourselves.