Eddie Munster! It is the weekend!
So a brightly decorated corner of a of family living room, on top a three legged table, inside a neon lit gold fish bowl. Let us be your over active often forgetful pet goldfish while we merrily swim about in circles of retro movie mayhem. We’ll hide in our underwater castle of cinematic greatness, before we end up on our back forever destined to be flushed away into the great abyss of celluloid wonder.
Have a happy retro weekend!
SATURDAY 19th JULY
Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) ITV London 3:15pm-5:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Two dim-witted teenagers with dreams of rock stardom seem doomed to fail a school history project, unaware the future of the human race depends on their success. A time traveler is given the job of making sure they pass the test by sending them on a series of adventures in the past. Comedy, starring Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter and George Carlin.
The Goonies (1985) 5* 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Seven youngsters discover an old map and set out on the adventure of a lifetime to save their homes from a land developer by finding a legendary pirate’s hidden treasure. However, they first have to navigate a series of booby-trapped underground caverns and outwit a family of crooks also after the loot. Children’s adventure, starring Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin and Martha Plimpton.
American Pie (1999) ITV2 9:00pm-10:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Four teenage boys make a solemn pact to lose their virginity before the high-school prom, and though their antics cause them huge embarrassment and public humiliation, the friends also learn about love and affection in their relations with the opposite sex. Coming- of-age comedy, starring Jason Biggs, Shannon Elizabeth, Chris Klein, Alyson Hannigan, Mena Suvari, Seann William Scott and Eugene Levy.
Total Recall (1990) ITV4 10:20pm-12:35am (2 hours 15 minutes)
A construction worker pays to have fake memories of a dream holiday implanted into his brain, but discovers his mind has already been tampered with – apparently to erase his true identity as a secret agent from a colony on Mars. He journeys to the planet in search of the truth, but is drawn into a conflict between the tyrannical ruler and a rebel faction. Paul Verhoeven’s sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin and Michael Ironside.
SUNDAY 20th JULY
Lost in Space (1998) Channel 5 2:40pm-5:10pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
A pioneering scientist takes his family out into space to colonise another planet. However, a saboteur has infiltrated their craft, and his meddling leaves them stranded in unknown territory on the other side of the galaxy. Sci-fi adventure based on the 1960s TV show, starring William Hurt, Matt LeBlanc, Gary Oldman, Mimi Rogers and Heather Graham.
Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 4:30pm-6:15pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.
Jaws 3 (1983) ITV4 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours )
A shark is captured by divers and put on display in a Florida marine centre, where it ultimately dies. However, examination of the body reveals the seemingly fully-grown shark was actually a baby – and its enormous, ferocious mother soon comes looking for it. Thriller sequel, originally released in cinemas in 3D, starring Dennis Quaid, Simon MacCorkindale, Louis Gossett Jr and Bess Armstrong.
Judge Dredd (1995) Sky Movies Sci-fi & Horror 9:00pm-10:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A law enforcer in a post-apocalyptic city is framed for a series of crimes committed by a fugitive who shares his DNA. He escapes while being taken to prison and returns to hunt down the culprit and clear his own name. Sci-fi adventure based on the 2000AD comic-strip, starring Sylvester Stallone, Armand Assante, Max von Sydow, Diane Lane and Rob Schneider.
Whatever you get up to this weekend remember never look a goat in the eye and always enjoy yourselves.