Helmets and handlebars! It’s only the weekend again? Oh but how we love it!
Like a very amateur but super keen cyclist, we find ourselves once again gearing up for another weekend of action packed adventure. We’re busy adjusting our straps, clips, nuts and bolts as we get ready to speed off into another few days of retro movie awesomeness which will leave us breathless and always wanting more. We’ll take the twisting and turning plot lines like a pro before sprinting for the finish and ending with a bang the likes of which no one ever expected!
Have a happy retro weekend!
SATURDAY 5th September
Carry On Behind (1975) Film4 11:00am-12:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Professors Ronald Crump and Anna Vooshka embark on an archaeological dig, but find their efforts disrupted by the saucy shenanigans of a motley bunch of holiday-makers in the neighbouring caravan park. Comedy, starring Kenneth Williams, Elke Sommer, Joan Sims, Windsor Davies, Kenneth Connor and Bernard Bresslaw.
Fun Fact: The campsite scenes filmed in the same field at Pinewood Studios as Carry on Camping earlier in 1969.
Big Fish (2003) Film4 1:00pm-3:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A writer driven away from home by his father’s tall tales returns when the old man is on his deathbed. He sets out to retrace his father’s life in the hope of finally learning the truth – but in the process, remembers why he loved the fanciful stories as a child. Tim Burton’s fantasy drama, starring Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Billy Crudup, Helena Bonham Carter, Danny DeVito and Steve Buscemi.
Peter Pan (2003) ITV2 5:10pm-7:20pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The adventures of the boy who never grows old, as he whisks Wendy Darling and her brothers away to the magical world of Neverland – where they come face to face with fearsome Captain Hook. Adaptation of JM Barrie’s fantasy novel, starring Jeremy Sumpter, Rachel Hurd-Wood, Jason Isaacs and Lynn Redgrave.
Dante’s Peak (1997) ITV2 7:20pm-9:30pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A vulcanologist’s suspicions that a long-dormant volcano is about to erupt turn out to be true, prompting him to race against time to save the community standing in its way – and clash with local government officials weighing his predictions against the loss in tourism revenue. Disaster movie, starring Pierce Brosnan, Linda Hamilton, Elizabeth Hoffman and Charles Hallahan.
Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985) ITV4 8:00pm-9:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
America’s most inept cops graduate and are let loose on the streets – under the command of an unscrupulous lieutenant whose promotion depends on their failure. Fortunately for him, their unique brand of policing actually leads to an increase in the crime rate. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, David Graf and Michael Winslow.
Primal Fear (1996) Watch 9:00pm-11:35pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
A cynical lawyer plans to boost his public profile by defending an altar boy who stands accused of murdering an eminent Catholic bishop. The case seems open and shut, as the boy was found covered in blood fleeing the scene – but as the victim’s dark secrets and the defendant’s psychological disorders come to light, things prove far from simple. Courtroom thriller, with Richard Gere, Edward Norton, Frances McDormand and Laura Linney.
Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002) Sky1 10:00pm-11:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The snaggle-toothed spy travels through time to rescue his equally suave father, who has been kidnapped by arch-villain Dr Evil and his new ally – a devilish Dutchman with a love of gold. Comedy sequel, starring Mike Myers in four different roles alongside Michael Caine, Beyonce Knowles, Seth Green and Fred Savage.
Kevin and Perry Go Large (2000) Comedy Central 10:00pm-11:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The teenage duo are thrilled when their parents agree to let them go to Ibiza, and promptly embark on an increasingly desperate quest to find stardom as club DJs and lose their virginity on the sun-kissed shores – but seem certain to fail. Comedy, starring Harry Enfield, Kathy Burke, Rhys Ifans, James Fleet and Paul Whitehouse.
Boyz N the Hood (1991) BBC2 London 11:10pm-12:55am (1 hour 45 minutes)
A bright but underachieving teenager with a domineering single father strikes up a friendship with two brothers, and over time, the three young men each follow their own path – but a tragedy eventually leaves them facing a dangerous choice. Drama, starring Cuba Gooding Jr, Laurence Fishburne, Morris Chestnut and Ice Cube.
SUNDAY 6th September
Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989) Film4 11:00am-12:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A professor invents a ray with the power to reduce objects in size. Unfortunately, his kids and their meddling friends trigger it off and are shrunk to microscopic proportions. When they are accidentally thrown out with the rubbish, the children have to contend with all kinds of animals and insects on their journey home across the backyard. Disney comedy, with Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman and Amy O’Neill.
Fun Fact: The film’s original title was “Teenie Weenies”, which was rejected on the grounds that it sounded too much like a kiddies’ film with no appeal to adults.
The Flintstones (1994) ITV2 2:05pm-3:50pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Blue-collar caveman Fred Flintstone is promoted to an executive position at work and unwittingly becomes embroiled in an embezzlement scheme – thanks in no small part to his seductive new assistant. Live-action version of the cartoon comedy, starring John Goodman, Rick Moranis, Rosie O’Donnell, Halle Berry and Elizabeth Taylor.
White Fang (1991) Channel 5 3:20pm-5:25pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A prospector sets off for Alaska during the gold rush, and along the way he encounters a wolf-dog being cruelly treated by its owner. He sets the animal free and tames it, gaining a constant companion for his perilous journey through the wilderness. Adventure, based on Jack London’s novel, starring Ethan Hawke, Klaus Maria Brandauer and Seymour Cassel.
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – The Cradle of Life (2003) Syfy 4:30pm-7:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
The daredevil heroine returns on a new quest, this time to search the world for the legendary Pandora’s Box. However, a devious scientist is determined to get his hands on it first and realise his cunning scheme to harness the box’s power as a deadly weapon. Action adventure sequel, starring Angelina Jolie, Gerard Butler, Ciaran Hinds, Chris Barrie and Djimon Hounsou.
Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV London 4:45pm-6:15pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.
Superman II (1980) Channel 5 5:25pm-8:00pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
The Man of Steel meets his match in the form of three fugitive villains from his home planet of Krypton. Flying down to Earth, the super-powered trio unleash a reign of terror in a bid to take over the world – but Superman is not there to stop them, having surrendered his powers to lead a normal life with his beloved Lois Lane. Comic-strip adventure sequel, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Terence Stamp and Margot Kidder.
E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) ITV2 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A lonely boy befriends an alien who has been left stranded on Earth. The two develop a psychic connection as the boy helps the extraterrestrial to contact his own people and call for rescue. However, living on Earth starts to have a devastating effect on the visitor’s health, and a government operative is determined to capture him for study. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi fantasy, starring Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace and Peter Coyote.
Iron Man 2 (2010) Channel 4 9:00pm-11:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Tycoon-turned-superhero Tony Stark confronts a fearsome new foe in a Russian scientist using his own deadly hi-tech weapons to seek revenge. He also faces a struggle to keep his secrets out of the hands of both the government and an amoral rival, and discovers the armour he developed to fight evil is slowly killing him. Action adventure sequel, with Robert Downey Jr, Mickey Rourke and Don Cheadle.
Notting Hill (1999) ITV London 10:15pm-12:35am (2 hours 20 minutes)
A recently divorced bookshop owner finds love with a glamorous Hollywood film star, but ends up the focus of unwanted media interest – which makes maintaining a relationship a tricky proposition. Romantic comedy written by Richard Curtis, starring Hugh Grant, Julia Roberts, Rhys Ifans, Emma Chambers, James Dreyfus and Gina McKee.
Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always keep a charger handy and don’t forget to get some milk in.