Pitch a tent and light a fire! Another retro movie weekend had arrived!
Finding juuuuust the right spot to set up base camp, we find ourselves thrown into the wilderness once again as we begin another weekend of outdoor adventure. Unfolding plastic sheets, thumping in (and inevitably bending) tent pegs, sourcing a water supply and of course….blowing up the air bed, we’re all set for another adventure in the great British countryside. Will it rain? Will be blow away? Or perhaps will we just attract more bugs than a picnic in a busy swamp? Only time will tell.
Have a happy retro weekend!
SATURDAY 16th July
Ivanhoe (1952) BBC2 8:25am-10:10am (1 hour 45 minutes)
A brave knight defies his father and enlists the help of a rich man and his daughter to rescue Richard the Lionheart from imprisonment. Along the way they also have to counter the machinations of tyrannical Prince John, who is determined their quest will fail. Medieval adventure based on Walter Scott’s novel, starring Robert Taylor, Elizabeth Taylor, Joan Fontaine, George Sanders and Guy Rolfe.
Lifeboat (1944) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
The survivors of a torpedoed passenger ship are set adrift in a lifeboat. As they pull out other survivors from the sea, they realise one of them is the U-boat commander responsible for the disaster. Alfred Hitchcock’s Second World War drama, starring Tallulah Bankhead, Walter Slezak, William Bendix, Hume Cronyn and Henry Hull.
Kindergarten Cop (1990) ITV2 2:05pm-4:15pm
A tough detective is forced to pose as a preschool teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson.
Back to the Future Part III (1990) ITV2 4:15pm-6:40pm
Time-travelling teenager Marty McFly is transported back to the days of the Wild West, where he strives to save his eccentric scientist friend Doc Brown from death at the hands of a villainous gunslinger. Final instalment in the sci-fi comedy trilogy, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Mary Steenburgen and Thomas F Wilson.
You’ve Got Mail (1998) ITV2 6:40pm-9:00pm
Two rivals in the bookshop business fall in love over the internet, unaware they know and dislike each other in the real world. While things remain frosty in person, the pair’s anonymous online relationship continues to blossom. Romantic comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey and Dabney Coleman.
Star Trek (2009) Channel 4 7:00pm-9:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
The trainee crew members of the starship Enterprise embark on their maiden flight, which pits them against a Romulan commander from the future who is planning a horrific revenge on those he blames for a tragedy in his own time. Sci-fi adventure based on the original TV series, starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Eric Bana, Zoe Saldana and Leonard Nimoy.
For Your Eyes Only (1981) ITV4 8:00pm-10:45pm
James Bond goes in search of a British weapons system aboard a sunken vessel before it falls into the hands of enemies who will use it to deactivate all Western submarines. Unfortunately, his mission is hindered by a crossbow-toting woman out to avenge her father’s murder. Spy thriller, starring Roger Moore, Topol, Julian Glover, Carole Bouquet, Jill Bennett and Lynn-Holly Johnson.
Airplane! (1980) Film4 7:20pm-9:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The passengers on board an ill-fated airliner become increasingly jittery when the flight crew flounder during a food-poisoning crisis. As ground control personnel struggle heroically to ensure the plane lands safely, a traumatised war veteran must face his fear to take the controls. Spoof disaster movie, starring Robert Hays, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack and Lloyd Bridges.
The A-Team (2010) E4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Four soldiers are sent on a top-secret mission in Iraq that results in them being imprisoned for a crime they did not commit. When they learn the culprit is trying to sell equipment for producing fake currency, they break out of prison to find both him and evidence of their innocence. Action adventure based on the 1980s TV series, with Liam Neeson, Bradley Cooper, Sharlto Copley and Quinton `Rampage’ Jackson.
Shaun of the Dead (2004) ITV2 09:00pm-11:05pm
An unambitious 29-year-old man trapped in the job from hell and recently dumped decides to get his life back on track. Unfortunately, he has to put his plans on hold when zombies rise from their graves and stalk the streets of London’s suburbs to feast on the living. Comedy horror, starring Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Kate Ashfield, Dylan Moran, Lucy Davis, Bill Nighy and Penelope Wilton.
Out for Justice (1991) ITV4 10:45pm-12:35am
A tough Brooklyn cop learns that his partner and best friend has been murdered in front of his family by a vicious drug dealer, the pair’s lifelong enemy and the scourge of the neighbourhood. The detective heads into the underworld on a one-man vengeance mission, but finds the killer’s criminal bosses are also hunting for him. Action thriller, with Steven Seagal, William Forsythe and Jerry Orbach.
SUNDAY 17th July
Innerspace (1987) Channel 5 12:25pm-2:40pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A Navy test pilot is shrunk in a ground-breaking scientific experiment, but instead of being injected into a laboratory rabbit, the tiny specimen accidentally winds up inside a hypochondriac supermarket worker. As he tries to find a way out, criminals come after the unlikely duo in search of the secret of the miniaturising technology. Sci-fi comedy, starring Dennis Quaid, Martin Short, Meg Ryan, Kevin McCarthy, Fiona Lewis and Vernon Wells.
Kidnapped (1960) BBC2 1:45pm-3:15pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
A boy who is the heir to a fortune is abducted and sent off to sea by his scheming uncle, who stands to get his hands on the family riches. However, the lad teams up with a Jacobite fugitive, and the pair embark on a perilous journey across Scotland to see justice done. Historical adventure, based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, starring Peter Finch and James MacArthur.
Three Men and a Baby (1987) 2:40pm-4:35pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
The lives of three flat-sharing bachelors are turned upside down when they discover a baby left on their doorstep. Unfortunately, while trying to get to grips with the necessary parenting skills, they find themselves menaced by criminals searching for missing drugs. Comedy, directed by Leonard Nimoy, starring Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, Steve Guttenberg and Nancy Travis.
The Flintstones (1994) ITV2 3:35pm-5:20pm
Blue-collar caveman Fred Flintstone is promoted to an executive position at work and unwittingly becomes embroiled in an embezzlement scheme – thanks in no small part to his seductive new assistant. Live-action version of the cartoon comedy, starring John Goodman, Rick Moranis, Rosie O’Donnell, Halle Berry and Elizabeth Taylor.
Willow (1988) Channel 5 4:35pm-7:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A farmer with dreams of becoming a wizard finds an abandoned baby, who is destined to bring about the downfall of an evil queen. The wicked tyrant’s minions have been sent to kill the child before she can fulfil the prophecy, and it falls to the would-be sorcerer to protect her, with the aid of a rogue warrior. Fantasy adventure, starring Warwick Davis and Val Kilmer.
Men in Black (1997) W 4:50pm-6:40pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.
Independence Day (1996) E4 5:10pm-8:00pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
A fleet of huge flying saucers launches a devastating and unprovoked attack on Earth. As survivors try to flee the seemingly unstoppable alien invaders, the courageous US president, an ace pilot and a computer genius come up with a plan to take the fight to the enemy and save the human race. Roland Emmerich’s sci-fi adventure, starring Will Smith, Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum, Mary McDonnell, Randy Quaid, Robert Loggia and Harry Connick Jr.
The Lion King (1994) Channel 4 6:15pm-8:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A lion prince blames himself for his father’s death and flees into the wilderness, leaving his wicked uncle to take over. As the cub grows to adulthood, he receives a vision of the dead king, who inspires him to seek revenge and reclaim his rightful throne. Disney animated musical, with the voices of Matthew Broderick, Jeremy Irons, Rowan Atkinson, Whoopi Goldberg and James Earl Jones.
Liar Liar (1997) ITV2 7:15pm-9:00pm
A lawyer, whose underhand ploys to win cases leave him little time to see his son, discovers he is incapable of lying after the boy’s birthday wish makes his dad tell only the truth. However, this causes a host of problems as the attorney tries to muddle his way through a high-profile divorce settlement. Comedy, with Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Jennifer Tilly and Cary Elwes.
Thor (2011) Channel 4 8:00pm-10:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
The Norse god of thunder is banished from his own world when his arrogance puts the kingdom on the brink of war. He is sent to present-day Earth, where he is forced to live among humans without his supernatural powers, but must regain his abilities to defend his new home against his evil brother. Kenneth Branagh’s fantasy adventure based on the Marvel comics, starring Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston and Anthony Hopkins.
Casino Royale (2006) ITV 9:00pm-12:05am
James Bond achieves his ’00’ status and is dispatched on the trail of Le Chiffre, an international criminal financing terrorist organisations around the world. Bond’s investigation leads to a casino in Montenegro, where he takes part in a high-stakes poker game in a bid to bankrupt Le Chiffre and put an end to his plans. Spy thriller, directed by Martin Campbell and starring Daniel Craig in his first outing as 007, with Eva Green, Mads Mikkelsen, Judi Dench and Giancarlo Giannini.
Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep the best songs loud and remember than sometimes just listening is better than having the right thing to say.