The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 214

Strike a match and light my fire! It’s a retro movie filled weekend all over again!

With a backpack full of only the most essential essentials, we’ll set off on an epic adventure like many of our top movie heroes. Heading into the great abyss, we’ll take on each mile as it comes as we venture further into the unknown, taking note of each strange new thing we encounter. Finally, reaching our destination, we’ll pause to reflect on all the we conquered before our minds quickly turn to our next epic adventure.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 24th September

The Addams Family
(1991) Film4 4:50pm-6:55pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Creepy couple Morticia and Gomez find their unconventional life threatened by a man claiming to be a long-lost relative. When they welcome him with open arms, they fall prey to a plot that could cost them their ancestral home and the family fortune. Black comedy based on the 1960s TV series, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman and Carel Struycken.

Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) Movie Mix 6:35pm-9:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Feisty heroine Annie and her new boyfriend Alex take a cruise in the Bahamas, but the trip becomes a nightmare when they discover a vengeful computer genius – a former employee laid off because of his terminal illness – is also on board. He has secretly programmed the ship to crash into an oil tanker while he steals a cache of diamonds from the cargo. Action thriller sequel, with Sandra Bullock, Jason Patric and Willem Dafoe.

Fun Fact: The original script was intended to be the third film in the “Die Hard” series. After the success of the first film though, the script was reworked into a Speed sequel instead.

Blue Streak (1999) 5STAR 7:05pm-9:00pm
A convicted jewel thief is released from prison, and sets about recovering his hidden loot – only to discover a police station has since been built where he left it. Undeterred, he poses as a maverick cop and worms his way into the detective division – little realising his problems have only just begun. Comedy, starring Martin Lawrence, Luke Wilson and Peter Greene.

The Mummy Returns (2001) ITV2 7:15pm-9:50pm
Married explorers Rick and Evelyn battle the newly resurrected mummy Imhotep and his ruthless partner, who have captured their son. The undead creature is heading for a confrontation with a legendary ancient warrior – with power over a magical army to be won. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr and Patricia Velasquez, with a brief appearance by Dwayne Johnson.

Die Hard (1988) E4 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
New York cop John McClane visits Los Angeles to see his family over the Christmas holiday. Stopping off at his wife’s place of work, he realises armed men have taken over the building and are holding the corporation’s staff to ransom – and only he has the ability to fight back. Action thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and Bonnie Bedelia.

The Full Monty (1997) Movie Mix 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
Six unemployed men from Sheffield decide to become strippers for one night only in a bid to raise extra money. However, with no dancing experience and far from perfect physiques, the men rely on the unique selling point of complete nudity to impress the punters. Comedy, starring Robert Carlyle, Mark Addy, Tom Wilkinson, Hugo Speer and Paul Barber.

On Deadly Ground (1994) ITV4 10:00pm-12:05pm
A tough firefighter sets out to stop the destruction of native tribes and the natural environment by an unscrupulous oil company planning to drill in Alaska. Ecological thriller, directed by and starring Steven Seagal, with Michael Caine, Joan Chen, John C McGinley, R Lee Ermey and Billy Bob Thornton.

Fun Fact: The final scene when Forrest Taft gives the speech about the oil companies and air pollution, was originally a whopping 11 minutes long! Audiences complained that it was overlong and preachy so the scene was re-edited before general release.

SUNDAY 25th September

Jungle 2 Jungle
(1997) Channel 4 12:30pm-2:25pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A businessman ventures deep into the Amazon to look for his estranged doctor wife seeking a divorce, only to discover he has a 13-year-old son who has been raised as part of a jungle tribe. The boy is sent back to New York with his father, but has a lot to learn about the modern world. Comedy, starring Tim Allen, Lolita Davidovich, Martin Short, JoBeth Williams and Sam Huntington.

Napoleon Dynamite (2004) Film4 1:00pm-2:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A socially inept high-school student and his lonely unemployed brother find their eccentric home life thrown into upheaval when their meddling uncle comes to stay. The teenage oddball tries to make the best of his changing circumstances, while putting all his skills to the task of helping his new best friend win the class presidency. Comedy, starring Jon Heder, Efren Ramirez and Haylie Duff.

Napoleon Dynamite TShirt

Les Miserables (1978) ITV3 1:25pm-4:00pm
A Frenchman imprisoned for stealing food for his starving family escapes from prison, and decides to live an honest life. However, his resolve is tested over the decades to come by an obsessive police inspector determined to recapture him, along with the chaos that ensues as revolution sweeps the country. Period drama based on Victor Hugo’s novel, starring Richard Jordan, Anthony Perkins, John Gielgud and Ian Holm.

Carry On Screaming (1966) ITV3 4:00pm-5:55pm
A sinister boffin, his sultry sister and two genetic misfits kidnap innocent women from spooky Hocomb Woods and turn them into mannequins – but two dim-witted detectives look set to throw a spanner in the works. Comedy horror, starring Kenneth Williams, Fenella Fielding, Harry H Corbett, Charles Hawtrey, Jim Dale, Joan Sims and Bernard Bresslaw.

Kindergarten Cop (1990) ITV2 6:45pm-9:00pm
A tough detective is forced to pose as a preschool teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget the little black bags for you-know-what and remember that if you’re struggling up a hill, you’ll have to come back down eventually.