The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown! Bank Holiday Special!
Well tickle my chin and slap my thigh! Another looooong retro movie weekend is here! Again... so soon!
Grabbing one of the many long, colourful and historic Maypole ribbons, we line up alongside our fellow pole friends as we prepare to begin our routine. Striding, ducking and turning, we'll slowly and majestically begin to create something magical. Watching the colours wind and intertwine as we go like the plot of a top classic movie, we'll worth together, side by side to create our masterpiece. Finally, with each strand complete, we will have created something wonderful, neatly wrapped up ready to be captured onto celluloid wonder.
Have a happy retro weekend!
SATURDAY 29th April
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Courage Mountain (1990) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
The German army take over teenage heroine Heidi's boarding school on the eve of the First World War, prompting her to set off on a perilous expedition across the Swiss Alps to reach safety. Children's adventure, starring Juliette Caton, Charlie Sheen, Jan Rubes and Leslie Caron.
Teen Wolf (1985) 5STAR 1:00pm-2:55pm
A teenage misfit is initially dismayed to learn he is a werewolf as a result of a hereditary curse. He finds there are advantages as he becomes a local celebrity, while his enhanced agility makes him the star player of his school's basketball team - but fame quickly goes to his head. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, James Hampton and Susan Ursitti.
The Borrowers (1997) Film4 1:00pm-2:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A family of four-inch-high people living beneath the floorboards of an ordinary human home help the owner's son fight back when a dastardly lawyer plans to demolish the house and make way for a luxury apartment block. Children's fantasy, starring John Goodman, Jim Broadbent, Celia Imrie, Flora Newbigin and Tom Felton.
Flubber (1997) ITV2 4:20pm-6:10pm
A scatty professor is in financial trouble, and his only hope of avoiding disaster is to market his latest invention - a strange rubbery substance with a life of its own. However, a criminal gang is determined to get hold of his creation. Remake of 1961 Disney comedy The Absent-Minded Professor, with Robin Williams, Marcia Gay Harden, Christopher McDonald and Wil Wheaton.
The Devil's Advocate (1997) ITV4 9:00pm-11:55pm
A hotshot lawyer is lured away from his provincial practice to work for a powerful big-city law firm. However, he gradually comes to realise that his charismatic new boss is not what he seems to be, and has a special plan in mind for the ambitious attorney. Supernatural thriller, starring Al Pacino, Keanu Reeves, Charlize Theron and Jeffrey Jones.
Braveheart (1995) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-12:45am (3 hours 45 minutes)
Account of the life of medieval Scottish hero William Wallace. After the slaughter of his father and brother, young Wallace is taken in by his uncle, who teaches him how to use not only his brawn but his brain - which he employs to great effect years later when he resolves to drive the English out of Scotland. Oscar-winning historical epic, directed by and starring Mel Gibson. With Patrick McGoohan, Sophie Marceau and Catherine McCormack.
Kill Bill: Vol 1 (2003) Dave 12:45am-2:50am (2 hours 5 minutes)
A female assassin wakes from a four-year coma and promptly sets out on a campaign to wipe out her erstwhile colleagues, who tried to kill her at her own wedding - one of whom is now the kingpin of the Tokyo underworld. The first part of Quentin Tarantino's two-part martial arts thriller, starring Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, Vivica A Fox, Daryl Hannah and David Carradine.
SUNDAY 30th April
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Hercules (1983) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
The mighty ancient Greek hero, created by the gods to be the strongest man in the world, sets out to rescue a princess from an evil wizard. However, the sorcerer has created deadly mechanical monsters to prevent his plans being thwarted. Fantasy adventure, starring Lou Ferrigno, Sybil Danning and Brad Harris.
Three Men and a Little Lady (1990) Channel 5 2:00pm-4:00pm (2 hours)
Bachelor Jack and his two best buddies have brought up his baby Mary since she was left in their care by her mother, Sylvia. Now that Mary is five years old, Sylvia believes she needs a more conventional upbringing and decides to accept a marriage proposal from an English aristocrat, leaving the trio of dads rushing to stop the wedding. Comedy sequel, with Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and Steve Guttenberg.
The Net (1995) E4 3:00pm-5:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A shy computer analyst discovers evidence of a criminal conspiracy, so the villains decide to retaliate. Erasing her personal details from the national database, they replace them with a false police record, hurling her into a desperate race against time to prove her real identity before corrupt officials silence her for good. Thriller, starring Sandra Bullock, Jeremy Northam and Dennis Miller.
Housesitter (1992) Channel 5 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours)
An architect has a fling with a kooky waitress, who takes it upon herself to move into his house and pass herself off as his wife. When the woman he is actually in love with says she thinks the sham marriage is good for him, he decides to play along with the deception. Romantic comedy, starring Steve Martin, Goldie Hawn, Dana Delany, Donald Moffat and Julie Harris.
Short Circuit (1986) Film4 4:30pm-6:35pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A military robot is struck by lightning and develops a mind of its own. The machine embarks on a series of comic misadventures, but the company that made him want him back. He realises his only hope is to convince the scientist who invented him that he really is alive. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Steve Guttenberg, Ally Sheedy and Fisher Stevens.
Mrs Doubtfire (1993) Film 4 6:35pm-9:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A struggling actor's ambitious, no-nonsense wife throws him out and demands a divorce. Desperate to spend time with his children, he puts his talents to good use by donning drag and posing as a Scottish housekeeper to get a job looking after them. Comedy, starring Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein and Mara Wilson.
As Good as It Gets (1997) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:55pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
A bigoted misanthropic writer, who treats everyone he meets with contempt, is forced to look after a gay neighbour's dog, and develops an empathy with another creature for the first time in years. Sensing a need for human company, he pursues an unlikely romance with a waitress, who is the only person willing to put up with his rudeness. Romantic comedy drama, with Jack Nicholson, Helen Hunt, Cuba Gooding Jr and Greg Kinnear.
Beetlejuice (1988) ITV4 10:05pm-12:00am
Recently deceased couple Adam and Barbara Maitland enlist the professional services of a hard-boiled veteran ghost to scare away the obnoxious yuppie family who have moved into their former home. Tim Burton's supernatural comedy, starring Michael Keaton, Geena Davis, Alec Baldwin, Winona Ryder, Jeffrey Jones and Catherine O'Hara.
MONDAY 1st April
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Flubber (1997) ITV2 10:30am- 12:25pm
A scatty professor is in financial trouble, and his only hope of avoiding disaster is to market his latest invention - a strange rubbery substance with a life of its own. However, a criminal gang is determined to get hold of his creation. Remake of 1961 Disney comedy The Absent-Minded Professor, with Robin Williams, Marcia Gay Harden, Christopher McDonald and Wil Wheaton.
A League of Their Own (1992) Film4 1:15pm-3:50pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
An alcoholic former professional player reluctantly agrees to train an all-female baseball team during the Second World War. With star player Dottie Hinson and her sister Kit on board, they look set to dominate the league - until sibling rivalry rears its head. Comedy drama, starring Geena Davis, Lori Petty, Tom Hanks and Madonna.
Short Circuit 2 (1988) Film4 3:50pm-6:15pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Manic mechanoid Johnny Five meets an old friend in New York City and embarks on a fact-finding tour - but ends up entangled in a series of escapades culminating in a bank robbery. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean, Cynthia Gibb and Jack Weston, with the voice of Tim Blaney.
Superman (1978) ITV4 4:00pm-7:00pm
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.
Lethal Weapon 4 (1998) ITV4 9:00pm-11:30pm
Mismatched LAPD detectives Riggs and Murtaugh stumble across a ship transporting Chinese immigrants into the US. As they try to get to the bottom of the organisation behind the smuggling, they find themselves up against a master criminal who is an expert in martial arts and heads a triad responsible for people-trafficking and forgery. Action adventure sequel, starring Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Rene Russo, Joe Pesci, Jet Li and Chris Rock.
The Last of the Mohicans (1992) Sony Movie Channel 2:00pm-4:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
An orphaned settler in North America is adopted by the last member of a native tribe following the death of his family. The child grows to become legendary frontiersman Hawkeye, who rescues and falls in love with a British officer's daughter during the Anglo-French War. But a bitter Huron war chief is determined to take revenge against her father by killing her. Michael Mann's historical adventure, based on James Fenimore Cooper's classic tale, starring Daniel Day-Lewis, Madeleine Stowe, Russell Means, Wes Studi, Maurice Roeves and Eric Schweig.
The Incredible Hulk (2008) ITV2 2:35pm-4:45pm
A bungled experiment causes a scientist to turn into a monster whenever he gets angry. He travels the world seeking a cure for his condition, while a ruthless general is determined to capture him and use the creature as a weapon. However, one of the soldiers under the officer's command undergoes a terrifying transformation of his own. Comic-book adventure, starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth and William Hurt.
Whatever you're up to this long bank holiday weekend, remember to switch off your alarm for Monday, and have a bloomin' good time!