The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Boxes and bubble wrap! Another retro movie weekend is here!

With a full weekend ahead of packing, shifting and unpacking, we will move all our worldly possessions to our new venture. Leaving behind memories, a few bad smells and probably that spoon the went missing a while back, we will set sail into the next ocean of life as we move from humble beginnings onto ventures new.

SATURDAY 26th August

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The Dark Crystal (1982) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971) BBC2 11:55am-1:50pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A novice witch befriends three children and takes them on a series of magical journeys, including a visit to a land inhabited by cartoon animals, where they get involved in a decidedly one-sided football match against a spoilt lion king. Disney’s part-animated musical fantasy, starring Angela Lansbury, David Tomlinson, Roddy McDowall and Sam Jaffe.

Hook (1991) Sony Channel 11:00am-2:05pm
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Heat (1995) Dave 11:00pm-2:30am (3 hours 30 minutes)
An armoured car hold-up sets a veteran police detective on the trail of a highly intelligent career criminal, whom he is obsessed with capturing. Meanwhile, the robber is planning an elaborate bank heist as his final job before retiring, and a complex game of cat and mouse develops between the two. Michael Mann’s crime thriller, starring Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Jon Voight, Tom Sizemore and Natalie Portman.

SUNDAY 27th August

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The Mask of Zorro (1998) Sony Movie Channel 9:00am-11:50am
The sword-wielding saviour of Spanish California returns after 20 years in prison, tutoring a thief to take over his heroic role and tackle corrupt government officials, who are using slave labour to mine gold illegally. Both mentor and pupil have personal scores to settle with their enemies, led by a ruthless governor and a psychotic military officer. Swashbuckling adventure, with Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Muppet Treasure Island (1996) E4 2:05pm-4:05pm (2 hours)
A youngster finds a treasure map and joins an expedition searching for a famous buccaneer’s lost treasure on an unexplored island. However, their mission falls foul of a band of pirates hiding out among the crew. Musical comedy based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, starring Tim Curry, Billy Connolly, Jennifer Saunders and Kevin Bishop alongside the puppet characters.

The Muppets Merchandise

Mrs Doubtfire (1993) Film4 3:25pm-5:50pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A struggling actor’s ambitious, no-nonsense wife throws him out and demands a divorce. Desperate to spend time with his children, he puts his talents to good use by donning drag and posing as a Scottish housekeeper to get a job looking after them. Comedy, starring Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein and Mara Wilson.

Superman (1978) ITV 3:40pm-6:30pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Toy Story 2 (1999) BBC1 4:35pm-6:05pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
Cowboy doll Woody is stolen by an unscrupulous toy collector, who knows he is worth a fortune as a collectible, prompting fearless Space Ranger Buzz Lightyear to lead a daring across-town mission to rescue him. However, Woody is tempted to spend his life languishing in the safety of a museum rather than face the prospect of his owner growing up. Animated sequel, featuring the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack and Kelsey Grammer.

Toy Story Gifts

Money Train (1995) Sony Movie Channel 11:05pm-1:25am
A New York cop in debt to loan sharks persuades his foster brother and fellow police officer to rob a train carrying all the day’s takings from the city’s subway network. However, things start to go wrong when a female detective creates rivalry between the pair, and a pyromaniac serial killer threatens their plans. Action comedy, starring Woody Harrelson, Wesley Snipes, Jennifer Lopez and Chris Cooper.

MONDAY 28th August

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Footloose (1984) 5STAR 7:00pm-9:00pm
A rebellious, hip-swinging student from the city moves to a small religious community, where he instantly clashes with an old-school fire-and-brimstone preacher – who has banned dancing and rock ‘n’ roll because he considers them immoral. Drama, starring Kevin Bacon, Lori Singer, John Lithgow, Chris Penn, Dianne Wiest and Sarah Jessica Parker.

The Bone Collector (1999) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A quadriplegic ex-cop is saved from the brink of suicide by a rookie female officer needing his expertise to form a psychological profile of a serial killer. The murderer is posing as a cab driver and terrorising Manhattan, and has a gruesome habit of taking trophies from his victims’ bodies. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Michael Rooker, Mike McGlone, Luis Guzman and Queen Latifah.

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) Film4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A London man’s misfortunes in love look set to change when he meets an American beauty. However, the prospect of a transatlantic relationship succeeding seems slim, so the pair go their separate ways – only for him to realise he is unable to get her out of his mind. Richard Curtis’s comedy, with Hugh Grant, Andie MacDowell, John Hannah, Charlotte Coleman, Kristin Scott Thomas, Simon Callow and James Fleet.

Patriot Games (1992) ITV4 10:05pm-12:25am
Former CIA agent Jack Ryan foils an assassination attempt by an IRA splinter group, killing one of the terrorists in the process. However, he becomes caught in a lethal game of cat-and-mouse with the dead man’s revenge-seeking brother. Thriller based on Tom Clancy’s novel, starring Harrison Ford, Sean Bean, Samuel L Jackson, Richard Harris and James Earl Jones, reprising his role from earlier Clancy adaptation The Hunt for Red October.

Whatever you’re up to this long bank holiday weekend, enjoy at least one lie in and make the most of everything. Every. Single. Thing.