The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 107

Cinnamon bagels! Is it the weekend?

So on a blistering hot sunny afternoon tucked away in the rear of a bustling garden party as youngsters run a muck with water pistols and elders fall foul of drunken shenanigans let us be your ever so manly expert at everything Barbeque Chef as we light our coals with retro movie magic, we’ll cook until tastefully charcoaled mouthfuls of cinematic classics before we fall into a deep meat coma of celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 12th JULY

Beethoven (1991) ITV2 2:40pm-4:25pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the  mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring  Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.

Ghostbusters (1984) 5* 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Three eccentric scientists put their hi-tech gadgetry and knowledge of the paranormal to money-making use by setting up in business as  freelance ghost catchers. A musician calls them in to investigate when she sees strange creatures in her kitchen, only to end up  possessed. As the spook-hunting team members deal with an attempt to shut their operation down, they discover an evil demonic entity is  being summoned into existence and it falls to them to stop this creature from destroying the world. Supernatural comedy adventure,  starring Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Sigourney Weaver, Ernie Hudson and Rick Moranis.

Ghostbusters T-Shirts

Die Hard 2 (1990) Film4 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife, but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must  battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action  thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

Coming to America (1988) E4 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A bored African prince defies his father’s plans for an arranged marriage and escapes to the USA to find a bride on his own terms. Comedy,  starring Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in several roles, with James Earl Jones, Allison Dean, Eriq La Salle and Madge Sinclair.

SUNDAY 13th JULY

See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) Channel 5 12:55pm-2:45pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A blind man and his deaf friend go on the run to clear themselves of a trumped-up murder charge. However, all kinds of oddball characters  are on their trail, determined to get hold of a top-secret microchip that the duo do not know they have. Comedy, starring Richard Pryor,  Gene Wilder, Kevin Spacey, Joan Severance, Alan North and Anthony Zerbe.

Stand By Me (1986) Channel 5 2:45pm-4:20pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
Four 12-year-old best friends embark on a life-changing adventure in the Oregon wilderness in search of a missing teenager’s body, unaware  of the trials and triumphs that await them. Rob Reiner’s 1950s-set coming-of-age drama, based on a novella by Stephen King, starring River  Phoenix, Wil Wheaton, Jerry O’Connell, Corey Feldman, Kiefer Sutherland and Richard Dreyfuss.

Jurassic Park III (2001) ITV2 6:00pm-7:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Palaeontologist Dr Alan Grant is lured to a dinosaur-infested island by a divorced couple who offer to fund his research, unaware their  real motive is to find their missing son – and that the creatures on the island are far more intelligent than anyone suspected. Action  adventure sequel, starring Sam Neill, William H Macy, Tea Leoni and Alessandro Nivola.

Jurassic Park T-Shirts

Jurassic Park T-Shirt Jurassic Park T-Shirt

The Running Man (1987) Channel 4 10:45pm-12:40am (1 hour 55 minutes)    A helicopter pilot is framed for the murder of starving civilians – and ends up being forced to take part in a brutal TV game show in  which a succession of gadget-wielding killers hunt him on the streets of Los Angeles. Sci-fi action adventure, starring Arnold  Schwarzenegger, Yaphet Kotto, Maria Conchita Alonso and Richard Dawson.

Whatever you get up to this weekend remember to always take one down and pass it around and always enjoy yourselves.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 98

Hot pot of coffee! Looks like it’s the Weekend!

So as we venture fourth into the unknown, choppy, shark infested waters off the Florida keys, let us be your hard nosed, chiseled featured, big game fisherman as we prepare our tackle box for the might of mega movie mayhem. We’ll cast of our lines into an ocean of cinematic awesomeness to catch the almost mythical sea beast that is celluloid wonder!

Have a happy retro Weekend!

SATURDAY 10th MAY

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) 5* 4:55pm-7:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
An eccentric confectionery king announces that five children will be given a tour of his wondrous factory. The winners turn out to be a kind-hearted boy from a penniless family and four obnoxious brats, who face a terrible fate when they misbehave. Musical fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s classic book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum and Roy Kinnear.

James and the Giant Peach (1996) Film4 3:05pm-4:35pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
An unhappy orphan living with his cruel aunts discovers a gigantic peach growing in the garden. Venturing inside, he meets six friendly  insects and together they embark on a magical journey. Animated and live-action fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Paul Terry,  Joanna Lumley and Miriam Margolyes and featuring the voices of Susan Sarandon and Richard Dreyfuss.

James and the Giant Peach T-Shirt James and the Giant Peach T-Shirt

Beverly Hills Cop (1984) Channel 4 11:00pm-1:00am (2 hours)
Fast-talking Detroit cop Axel Foley heads for Los Angeles after an old friend is murdered before his eyes. His search for the killers  leads him into conflict with a seemingly untouchable drug kingpin, but he also has to contend with the local force, who do not want him  taking matters into his own hands. Comedy thriller, starring Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, Ronny Cox, John Ashton and Steven Berkoff.

Backdraft (1991) ITV4 12:10am-2:45am (2 hours 35 minutes)
The two sons of a fireman who died in the line of duty follow him into the profession. However, a feud develops between them because the  elder brother is convinced his sibling is not up to the job – until a mission to uncover the identity of a serial arsonist gives him the  chance to prove his worth. Action drama, starring Kurt Russell, William Baldwin, Robert De Niro, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Donald  Sutherland.

SUNDAY 11th MAY

Crocodile Dundee (1986) Film4 1:00pm-2:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A New York reporter searches the Australian Outback for a maverick hunter with a legendary reputation, and invites the adventurer back to  America. But the die-hard Aussie needs to draw on all his survival skills to adjust to life in the urban jungle. Comedy adventure, written  by and starring Paul Hogan, with Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Mark Blum.

Pocahontas (1995) Channel 5 4:40pm-6:10pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
A Native American princess falls in love with an English settler, but her father is distrustful of the Europeans – not without just cause,  as a cruel governor is prepared to wage war to get his hands on the gold he believes they are hiding. Disney animated drama, with the  voices of Irene Bedard, Mel Gibson and Christian Bale.

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) Channel 5 6:15pm-8:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white  bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and  prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

Crocodile Dundee II (1988) E4 8:00pm-10:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
The rugged Australian adventurer sets out to save his reporter girlfriend from New York drug dealers. Having rescued her from their  clutches, he realises they will soon be coming after him – so he decides to even the odds by luring them to the Outback for a final  showdown. Comedy adventure sequel, starring Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Charles S Dutton.

Whatever you get up to this weekend remember give a fish a hug and always enjoy yourselves.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 94

Uncle Edgars twirling moustache! It’s only the weekend! Somewhere deep inside a dense African forest, let us be your forever migrating herd of magnificently giant but eloquent elephants, as we plough our way through the thick bush of retro movie magic looking for  vegetation to nourish our cinematic hunger before we stop and bathe in an oasis of celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro Weekend!

SATURDAY 12th APRIL

Smokey and the Bandit (1977) ITV London 1:15 pm-3:00 pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed

The Goonies (1985) Channel 5 2:15 pm-4:25 pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Seven youngsters uncover an old map and set out on the adventure of a lifetime to save their homes from a land developer by finding a legendary pirate’s hidden treasure. However, they first have to navigate a series of booby-trapped underground caverns and outwit a family of crooks also after the loot. Children’s adventure, starring Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin and Martha Plimpton. Edited for language and violence.

Men's Goonies Chunk Do The Truffle Shuffle T-Shirt Ladies Heather Pink Goonies Never Say Die T-Shirt

The Incredible Hulk (2008) ITV2 2:35 pm-4:50 pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A bungled experiment causes a scientist to turn into a monster whenever he gets angry. He travels the world seeking a cure for his condition, while a ruthless general is determined to capture him and use the creature as a weapon. However, one of the soldiers under the officer’s command undergoes a terrifying transformation of his own. Comic-book adventure, starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth and William Hurt

Men's Green Keep Calm Don't Make Me Angry Incredible Hulk T-Shirt Marvel Hulk T-Shirt

Toy Story (1995) BBC3 8:30 pm-9:45 pm (1 hour 15 minutes)
A jealous string-pulled cowboy doll’s status as his owner’s favourite plaything is threatened by the arrival of a charismatic hi-tech astronaut figure, who refuses to believe he is simply a toy. However, the rivals are forced to work together when they are left stranded in the outside world. Pixar animated adventure, featuring the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Don Rickles and Jim Varney.

SUNDAY 13th APRIL

James and the Giant Peach (1996) Film4 3:10 pm-4:45 pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
An unhappy orphan living with his cruel aunts discovers a gigantic peach growing in the garden. Venturing inside, he meets six friendly insects and together they embark on a magical journey. Animated and live-action fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Paul Terry, Joanna Lumley and Miriam Margolyes and featuring the voices of Susan Sarandon and Richard Dreyfuss

Ladies Roald Dahl James and the Giant Peach T-Shirt Men's Roald Dahl James and the Giant Peach T-Shirt

Octopussy (1983) ITV London 3:55 pm-6:25 pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
James Bond investigates the mysterious death of a British agent in East Berlin, a mission that leads him to a glamorous, international jewel thief. He discovers one of her criminal cohorts, an Indian gangster, is in league with a crazed Soviet general who plans to heat up the Cold War by detonating a nuclear bomb in an American Air Force Base. Spy adventure, with Roger Moore, Maud Adams, Steven Berkoff and Louis Jourdan

Street Fighter (1994) 5* 4:00 pm-6:00 pm (2 hours )
A military officer heads up a band of martial arts experts on a mission to defeat an insane dictator holding a group of people hostage. Action adventure based on the video game, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Kylie Minogue, Simon Callow and Ming Na

Private Benjamin (1980) ITV3 10:00 pm-12:20 am (2 hours 20 minutes)
A scatterbrained society woman looks for a change of pace after her husband dies on their wedding night, and is tricked by a duplicitous recruiter into enlisting in the army. In spite of the initial culture shock and conflict with her tough commanding officer, she gradually finds direction and self-esteem for the first time in her life. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Armand Assante, Eileen Brennan, Harry Dean Stanton and Sam Wanamaker.

Whatever you get up to this Weekend remember never do a rain dance in the living room and always enjoy yourselves.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 87

Wizadora! It’s the Weekend!

So like an old cardboard box full of fluffy, cheeky, snugly, super cute and cuddly Kittens, let us roll about in blankets of retro movie magic as we chase balls of unwinding cinematic greatness before tiring ourselves out and falling asleep on a massive comfy pillow of celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro Weekend!

SATURDAY 15th FEBRUARY

California Man (1992) Film4 3:10pm-4:50pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Two high-school students accidentally unearth a frozen Stone Age caveman in their backyard. They decide to thaw him out and show him off around town. Unfortunately, their ticket to cool starts to run out of control and cause mayhem all over the state. Teen comedy, starring Brendan Fraser, Sean Astin, Pauly Shore, Megan Ward and Mariette Hartley.

Brewster’s Millions (1985) Film4 4:50pm-6:55pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A baseball player is stunned to learn he has come into a massive inheritance. Unfortunately, there is one condition – he must somehow find a way to spend $30million in just one month, or he will lose the lot. Meanwhile, two scheming lawyers, who stand to get the money if he fails, are determined to sabotage his efforts. Comedy, starring Richard Pryor, John Candy, Lonette McKee and Jerry Orbach.

Brewster’s Millions

Tank Girl (1995) MGM Channel 5:15pm-7:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
In a post-apocalyptic wasteland, a sadistic tycoon controls the world’s water supply. A rebellious heroine whose boyfriend was killed by the tyrant’s henchmen plots to bring his regime down – with a little help from a gang of mutant kangaroos. Comic-book adventure, with Lori Petty, Malcolm McDowell and Naomi Watts

Rambo III (1988) ITV4 10:00pm-12:00am (2 hours )
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Rambo T-Shirt
Men's Black Rambo Part II T-Shirt

Rambo T-Shirt
Men's Charcoal Rambo T-Shirt

SUNDAY 16th FEBRUARY

The Love Bug (1968) Film4 3:10pm-5:20pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Herbie, an irrepressible Beetle car with a mind of its own, takes a shine to a struggling racing driver and helps him to win a string of victories on the track. However, his success attracts the attention of an unscrupulous rival competitor, who will go to any lengths to win the most important race of all. Disney comedy, starring Dean Jones, Michele Lee, Buddy Hackett and David Tomlinson

The Mighty Ducks (1992) ITV2 3:40pm-5:50pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A self-centred yuppie lawyer is horrified when a judge finds him guilty of drink-driving and orders him to coach a hopeless inner-city junior ice-hockey team as part of his community service. However, he comes to appreciate his new role and things finally start to look up for the team. Comedy, starring Emilio Estevez, Joss Ackland, Lane Smith and Joshua Jackson.

The Mighty Ducks

Harry and the Hendersons (1987) 5* 2:50pm-5:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A hapless family’s camping holiday in the mountains is brought to a sudden end when they accidentally hit the legendary Bigfoot with their car. They decide to adopt the endearing creature, but have more trouble than expected trying to keep him concealed and to avoid arousing their neighbours’ suspicions. Comedy, starring John Lithgow, Melinda Dillon, David Suchet, Don Ameche and Kevin Peter Hall

Harry and the Hendersons

Cliffhanger (1993) ITV4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A retired mountain rescue expert is drawn into a battle of wits with a psychopathic criminal searching for a $100million fortune lost in the Rockies – and puts his life on the line as he negotiates the treacherous mountains in a bid to stay one step ahead of the crook. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, Janine Turner and Michael Rooker.

Cliffhanger 1993

Whaka-Whaka! Bonus movie clip time!
This week we learn a little something as Stoney teaches link about the basic food groups….

Remember to always wheez the juice and enjoy yourselves.
Cheerio.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 86

Three blind mice! Not another Weekend!

So merrily going about our business in a sawdust lined cage, placed in the corner of a small child’s play room, let us be your fuzzy little fat cheeked hamster as we dart about drooping pellets of retro movie magic. We’ll shred up old newspapers for bits of cinematic greatness before we tire ourselves out on the wheel of celluloid wonder!

Have a happy retro Weekend!

SATURDAY 8th FEBRUARY

The Never Ending Story (1984) Watch 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours )
A lonely boy, neglected by his father and bullied at school, finds comfort in a mysterious book about a young hero’s quest to save his world from destruction. However, as he reads the tale, he begins to become part of the story. Fantasy adventure based on Michael Edne’s novel, starring Barret Oliver, Noah Hathaway, Gerald McRaney, Moses Gunn and Patricia Hayes

The Never Ending Story

Beverly Hills Cop (1984) E4 9:00pm-11:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Fast-talking Detroit cop Axel Foley heads for Los Angeles after an old friend is murdered before his eyes. His search for the killers leads him into conflict with a seemingly untouchable drug kingpin, but he also has to contend with the local force, who do not want him taking matters into his own hands. Comedy thriller, starring Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, Ronny Cox, John Ashton and Steven Berkoff

The Shawshank Redemption (1994) ITV2 9:00pm-11:55pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
A banker is wrongly jailed for his wife’s murder and over the course of a life sentence he forms a close friendship with a fellow inmate. He also earns a position of trust as book-keeper to the corrupt prison governor – but makes an enemy of his benefactor as he tries to clear his name. Frank Darabont’s drama, starring Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown and Gil Bellows.

Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) ITV4 10:00pm-12:00am (2 hours )
John Rambo returns to the jungles of Vietnam on a life-or-death mission to rescue American PoWs. In the course of the operation, he develops strong feelings for his guide, a female freedom fighter – but tragedy strikes, leaving him more determined than ever to exact a bloody and explosive revenge. Action adventure sequel, with Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Julia Nickson-Soul and Steven Berkoff.

Men's Charcoal Rambo T-Shirt
Men's Charcoal Rambo T-Shirt

Men's Black Rambo Part II T-Shirt
Men's Black Rambo Part II T-Shirt

SUNDAY 9th FEBRUARY

Three Men and a Baby (1987) Channel 4 3:30pm-5:30pm (2 hours )
The lives of three flat-sharing bachelors are turned upside down when they discover a baby left on their doorstep. Unfortunately, while trying to get to grips with the necessary parenting skills, they find themselves menaced by criminals searching for missing drugs. Comedy, directed by Leonard Nimoy, starring Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, Steve Guttenberg and Nancy Travis.

Superman (1978) ITV4 5:05pm-8:00pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Men's Navy Superman Man Of Steel DC Comics T-Shirt
Men's Navy Superman Man Of Steel DC Comics T-Shirt

Ladies Blue Superman Logo T-Shirt
Ladies Blue Superman Logo T-Shirt

The Running Man (1987) E4 10:25pm-12:25am (2 hours )
A helicopter pilot is framed for the murder of starving civilians – and ends up being forced to take part in a brutal TV game show in which a succession of gadget-wielding killers hunt him on the streets of Los Angeles. Sci-fi action adventure, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Yaphet Kotto, Maria Conchita Alonso and Richard Dawson

Full Metal Jacket (1987) Channel 5 10:55pm-1:15am (2 hours 20 minutes)
Raw recruits undergo harsh training under a domineering Marine drill sergeant after being called up for service in the Vietnam War, but his brutal methods lead to the breakdown of one of his cadets. Eventually, some of the fully trained soldiers get their first taste of combat in 1968. Stanley Kubrick’s drama, starring Matthew Modine, Adam Baldwin, Vincent D’Onofrio and R Lee Ermey

Full Metal Jacket

Whatever you get up to this Weekend remember just because it’s windy and you have an umbrella, doesn’t mean you can fly away like Mary Poppins and always enjoy yourselves.