The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 107

Cinnamon bagels! Is it the weekend?

So on a blistering hot sunny afternoon tucked away in the rear of a bustling garden party as youngsters run a muck with water pistols and elders fall foul of drunken shenanigans let us be your ever so manly expert at everything Barbeque Chef as we light our coals with retro movie magic, we’ll cook until tastefully charcoaled mouthfuls of cinematic classics before we fall into a deep meat coma of celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 12th JULY

Beethoven (1991) ITV2 2:40pm-4:25pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the  mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring  Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.

Ghostbusters (1984) 5* 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Three eccentric scientists put their hi-tech gadgetry and knowledge of the paranormal to money-making use by setting up in business as  freelance ghost catchers. A musician calls them in to investigate when she sees strange creatures in her kitchen, only to end up  possessed. As the spook-hunting team members deal with an attempt to shut their operation down, they discover an evil demonic entity is  being summoned into existence and it falls to them to stop this creature from destroying the world. Supernatural comedy adventure,  starring Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Sigourney Weaver, Ernie Hudson and Rick Moranis.

Ghostbusters T-Shirts

Die Hard 2 (1990) Film4 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife, but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must  battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action  thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

Coming to America (1988) E4 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A bored African prince defies his father’s plans for an arranged marriage and escapes to the USA to find a bride on his own terms. Comedy,  starring Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in several roles, with James Earl Jones, Allison Dean, Eriq La Salle and Madge Sinclair.

SUNDAY 13th JULY

See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) Channel 5 12:55pm-2:45pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A blind man and his deaf friend go on the run to clear themselves of a trumped-up murder charge. However, all kinds of oddball characters  are on their trail, determined to get hold of a top-secret microchip that the duo do not know they have. Comedy, starring Richard Pryor,  Gene Wilder, Kevin Spacey, Joan Severance, Alan North and Anthony Zerbe.

Stand By Me (1986) Channel 5 2:45pm-4:20pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
Four 12-year-old best friends embark on a life-changing adventure in the Oregon wilderness in search of a missing teenager’s body, unaware  of the trials and triumphs that await them. Rob Reiner’s 1950s-set coming-of-age drama, based on a novella by Stephen King, starring River  Phoenix, Wil Wheaton, Jerry O’Connell, Corey Feldman, Kiefer Sutherland and Richard Dreyfuss.

Jurassic Park III (2001) ITV2 6:00pm-7:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Palaeontologist Dr Alan Grant is lured to a dinosaur-infested island by a divorced couple who offer to fund his research, unaware their  real motive is to find their missing son – and that the creatures on the island are far more intelligent than anyone suspected. Action  adventure sequel, starring Sam Neill, William H Macy, Tea Leoni and Alessandro Nivola.

Jurassic Park T-Shirts

Jurassic Park T-Shirt Jurassic Park T-Shirt

The Running Man (1987) Channel 4 10:45pm-12:40am (1 hour 55 minutes)    A helicopter pilot is framed for the murder of starving civilians – and ends up being forced to take part in a brutal TV game show in  which a succession of gadget-wielding killers hunt him on the streets of Los Angeles. Sci-fi action adventure, starring Arnold  Schwarzenegger, Yaphet Kotto, Maria Conchita Alonso and Richard Dawson.

Whatever you get up to this weekend remember to always take one down and pass it around and always enjoy yourselves.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 98

Hot pot of coffee! Looks like it’s the Weekend!

So as we venture fourth into the unknown, choppy, shark infested waters off the Florida keys, let us be your hard nosed, chiseled featured, big game fisherman as we prepare our tackle box for the might of mega movie mayhem. We’ll cast of our lines into an ocean of cinematic awesomeness to catch the almost mythical sea beast that is celluloid wonder!

Have a happy retro Weekend!

SATURDAY 10th MAY

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) 5* 4:55pm-7:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
An eccentric confectionery king announces that five children will be given a tour of his wondrous factory. The winners turn out to be a kind-hearted boy from a penniless family and four obnoxious brats, who face a terrible fate when they misbehave. Musical fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s classic book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum and Roy Kinnear.

James and the Giant Peach (1996) Film4 3:05pm-4:35pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
An unhappy orphan living with his cruel aunts discovers a gigantic peach growing in the garden. Venturing inside, he meets six friendly  insects and together they embark on a magical journey. Animated and live-action fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Paul Terry,  Joanna Lumley and Miriam Margolyes and featuring the voices of Susan Sarandon and Richard Dreyfuss.

James and the Giant Peach T-Shirt James and the Giant Peach T-Shirt

Beverly Hills Cop (1984) Channel 4 11:00pm-1:00am (2 hours)
Fast-talking Detroit cop Axel Foley heads for Los Angeles after an old friend is murdered before his eyes. His search for the killers  leads him into conflict with a seemingly untouchable drug kingpin, but he also has to contend with the local force, who do not want him  taking matters into his own hands. Comedy thriller, starring Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, Ronny Cox, John Ashton and Steven Berkoff.

Backdraft (1991) ITV4 12:10am-2:45am (2 hours 35 minutes)
The two sons of a fireman who died in the line of duty follow him into the profession. However, a feud develops between them because the  elder brother is convinced his sibling is not up to the job – until a mission to uncover the identity of a serial arsonist gives him the  chance to prove his worth. Action drama, starring Kurt Russell, William Baldwin, Robert De Niro, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Donald  Sutherland.

SUNDAY 11th MAY

Crocodile Dundee (1986) Film4 1:00pm-2:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A New York reporter searches the Australian Outback for a maverick hunter with a legendary reputation, and invites the adventurer back to  America. But the die-hard Aussie needs to draw on all his survival skills to adjust to life in the urban jungle. Comedy adventure, written  by and starring Paul Hogan, with Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Mark Blum.

Pocahontas (1995) Channel 5 4:40pm-6:10pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
A Native American princess falls in love with an English settler, but her father is distrustful of the Europeans – not without just cause,  as a cruel governor is prepared to wage war to get his hands on the gold he believes they are hiding. Disney animated drama, with the  voices of Irene Bedard, Mel Gibson and Christian Bale.

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) Channel 5 6:15pm-8:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white  bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and  prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

Crocodile Dundee II (1988) E4 8:00pm-10:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
The rugged Australian adventurer sets out to save his reporter girlfriend from New York drug dealers. Having rescued her from their  clutches, he realises they will soon be coming after him – so he decides to even the odds by luring them to the Outback for a final  showdown. Comedy adventure sequel, starring Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Charles S Dutton.

Whatever you get up to this weekend remember give a fish a hug and always enjoy yourselves.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 97

Smokey bacon sandwiches! It has to be the Weekend!

So, inside a white laboratory, found in the depths of a government run research facility. Let us be your highly intelligent, super smart  micro biologist, as we stare into our microscope looking for the secrets of retro movie magic, we’ll splice together neutrons and electrons to create cinematic greatness before we discover the breakthrough that is celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 3rd MARCH

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Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes (1984)
Channel 5 12:30pm-3:05pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
The infant heir of an aristocratic English family is raised by apes in the African jungle after his shipwrecked parents are killed. Years  later, he saves the life of a Belgian explorer, who returns him to England so he can claim his birthright. Drama based on Edgar Rice  Burroughs’ novel, starring Christopher Lambert, Ian Holm, Andie MacDowell and Ralph Richardson.

Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999) ITV2 5:45 pm-8:30 pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn are instructed to protect Queen Amidala when her planet is invaded. Escorting her away from  danger, they meet gifted youngster Anakin Skywalker, who seems ideally suited to join the pair’s order – but is unaware of just how  powerful he could become. Sci-fi prequel, starring Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman and Ray Park.

Star Wars T-Shirt BMX Stormtrooper TShirt

Arachnophobia (1990) 5* 5:50pm-8:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A mild-mannered doctor sets up practice in a small town, but a cloud gathers over his career due to a series of unexplained deaths. Before  long, he has to convince the locals that a horde of venomous spiders is responsible and confront his intense fear of arachnids into the  bargain. Comedy horror, starring Jeff Daniels, John Goodman, Julian Sands and Brian McNamara.

Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) Film4 9:00pm-10:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A man suffering a mid-life crisis tries to recapture his lost youth by going back to his old haunts with two equally unhappy friends and  his teenage nephew. They end up being transported back to 1986 and are tempted to give themselves the lives they always wanted – despite  warnings that they must not change anything. Sci-fi comedy, starring John Cusack, Clark Duke, Craig Robinson and Rob Corddry.

SUNDAY 4th MARCH

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Beethoven (1991)
ITV2 12:35pm-2:20pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the  mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring  Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.

Getting Even with Dad (1994) 5* 1:35pm-3:50pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Spoilt child Timmy goes to live with his outwardly respectable father, but realises he is a small-time thief planning his latest robbery.  Timmy sets out to reform his dad, and in the meantime manages to fix him up with an attractive undercover cop – leading to much confusion.  Family comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Ted Danson, Glenne Headly and Hector Elizondo.

Stargate (1994) Channel 5 6:45pm-9:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An Egyptologist and a soldier head an expedition through a mysterious portal to an alien planet. The world they find resembles ancient  Egypt and is under the rule of a tyrant who has convinced the downtrodden inhabitants that he is a god – until the humans incite the  enslaved populace to fight back. Sci-fi adventure, starring Kurt Russell, James Spader and Jaye Davidson.

Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002) ITV2 7:15pm-10:00pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi and apprentice Anakin Skywalker are sent to protect Senator Padme Amidala from an assassin. However, as  galactic civil war threatens to erupt, the pair are forced to split their efforts, leading Anakin into an ill-advised romance and the  beginnings of a journey toward the dark side. George Lucas’s second prequel to the original sci-fi trilogy, starring Ewan McGregor, Hayden  Christensen, Natalie Portman and Christopher Lee.

Star Wars T-Shirt Star Wars T-Shirt

Whatever you get up to this Weekend remember, put sprinkles on your  ice cream and always enjoy yourselves.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 93

Thar she blows! It can only be the Weekend!

So like a mid eighteenth century Whaling vessel let us be your sea hardened, weather beaten, bearded captain with a stern but fair persona. As we sail hard heartedly across vast oceans of retro movie mayhem, we’ll peer one eyed through our brass telescope for the elusive humped back of cinematic greatness before we thrust our long and rusty harpoons into the salty meaty flesh of celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 5th APRIL

Crocodile Dundee (1986) Film4 1:00 pm-2:50 pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A New York reporter searches the Australian Outback for a maverick hunter with a legendary reputation, and invites the adventurer back to America. But the die-hard Aussie needs to draw on all his survival skills to adjust to life in the urban jungle. Comedy adventure, written by and starring Paul Hogan, with Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Mark Blum. Edited for daytime broadcast.

Twins (1988) ITV London 12:30 pm-2:30 pm (2 hours )
An unlikely pair of brothers, who were born as the result of a one-off genetic experiment and separated at birth, are reunited in adulthood. They set out on a cross-country search for their unknown mother – fending off vicious loan sharks and a professional assassin along the way. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Kelly Preston and Chloe Webb.

Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986) 5* 3:15 pm-4:55 pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Facing closure from cutbacks in public spending and competition from a more successful academy, the police training school calls on its bungling graduates to act as instructors and make good officers out of a bunch of new recruits even more incompetent than they are. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow and Art Metrano.

There’s Something About Mary (1998) E4 9:00 pm-11:25 pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A lovelorn man hires a sleazy private eye to track down his high-school sweetheart in the hope of rekindling their brief relationship. By unfortunate coincidence, the detective also falls for her, and then it emerges there are even more men out there competing for her affections. Comedy from the Farrelly brothers, starring Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon and Lee Evans.

SUNDAY 6th APRIL

The Jewel of the Nile (1985) Sky2 11:45 am-2:00 pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A novelist travels to the Middle East to become a sheik’s official biographer, only to end up being held hostage by him. Her lover joins forces with an old enemy to rescue her, but they get drawn into the hunt for a mysterious ancient treasure that has a connection to an eccentric holy man. Comedy adventure sequel to Romancing the Stone, starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito

Casper (1995) ITV2 1:30 pm-3:35 pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A paranormal expert moves into a haunted house where his daughter befriends the amiable ghost of a young boy – but things start to go awry when three smelly spooks and two dastardly crooks try to chase the new residents away. Family comedy, starring Christina Ricci, Bill Pullman, Eric Idle, Cathy Moriarty and featuring the voice of Malachi Pearson.

Hairspray (2007) Channel 4 3:25 pm-5:40 pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Musical remake of the comedy about Tracy, an overweight teenager in 1960s Baltimore, who dreams of appearing on a TV dance show. However, a jealous rival and her scheming mother are determined to destroy her ambition – especially when Tracy tries to fight racism in the community. Starring Nikki Blonsky, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, James Marsden, Queen Latifah and John Travolta in drag as the heroine’s mother.

Die Hard 2 (1990) Film4 9:00 pm-11:20 pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

Whatever you get up to this Weekend remember check behind your ears for spuds and all ways enjoy yourselves.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 91

Slap my knee and stamp my foot it’s only the weekend!

Like the busy paper hatted waiter at an American style diner, let us be your hard working hero as we rush around, spinning plates, filling fizzy drinks to the brim and serve up yet even more cinematic greatness until you’re fit to burst! Grab your bill and tip well as we you marvel in our classic 80s celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 22nd MARCH

The Addams Family (1991) Film4 1:00 pm-2:55 pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Creepy couple Morticia and Gomez find their unconventional life threatened by a man claiming to be a long-lost relative. When they welcome him with open arms, they fall prey to a plot that could cost them their ancestral home and the family fortune. Black comedy based on the 1960s TV series, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman and Carel Struycken

Field of Dreams (1989) ITV4 11:10 am-1:20 pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A farmer hears a mysterious voice inspiring him to mark out a baseball pitch in a cornfield – which, to his surprise, is visited by the ghost of the star player of the 1919 Chicago White Sox team, whose career was cut short by scandal. It later dawns on him the pitch has a greater purpose – to give people who have sacrificed important parts of their lives a second chance. Fantasy, starring Kevin Costner, Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster and James Earl Jones.

Kindergarten Cop (1990) ITV London 3:30 pm-5:35 pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A tough detective is forced to pose as a preschool teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson

Mannequin (1987) 5* 5:05 pm-7:00 pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A struggling artist gets a job as a window dresser for a department store, only to discover one of his dummies is a reincarnated Egyptian princess who comes to life at night. As he falls for the living doll, she inspires him to transform the shop’s display and make it the most spectacular in town. Fantasy comedy, starring Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall

SUNDAY 23rd MARCH

The Witches (1990) Channel 5 3:50 pm-5:35 pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A boy goes on holiday with his grandmother to a seaside hotel hosting a convention of witches, who have come together to hear their leader’s plan to turn all the children in England into mice. When the chief hag discovers the young lad eavesdropping at their meeting, she decides to make him one of her first victims. Children’s fantasy directed by Nicolas Roeg, based on the book by Roald Dahl, and starring Anjelica Huston, Mai Zetterling, Jasen Fisher, Jane Horrocks, Rowan Atkinson and Brenda Blethyn

The Witches T-Shirt
Ladies Roald Dahl The Witches T-Shirt

Roald Dahl The Witches T-Shirt
Men's Roald Dahl The Witches T-Shirt

This Is England (2006) Film4 9:00
Twelve-year-old Shaun lives with his mother in a shabby council flat in a bleak northern town and is lacking direction after losing his father in the Falklands War. At school, he is befriended by a skinhead gang and the leader takes the boy under his wing – a tie that draws Shaun into a world of racism and violence, but one where he begins to find a new identity. Shane Meadows’ drama set in the 1980s, starring Thomas Turgoose, Stephen Graham and Jo Hartley

Whip It (2009) ITV2 7:50 pm-10:00 pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Misfit teenager Bliss grows tired of her small-town life and pushy mother, who is trying to relive her lost youth by making her daughter compete in beauty pageants. When she discovers the fast-paced sport of roller derby, Bliss is instantly hooked and joins a struggling team, but has to keep it a secret from her family. Comedy drama, starring Ellen Page and Drew Barrymore, who also directed.

Dogma (1999) Channel 4 10:55 pm-1:20 am (2 hours 25 minutes)
Two fallen angels banished to Earth discover a theological loophole could get them back into Heaven – except their plan will cause the world’s destruction. It falls to a lapsed Catholic woman to stop them, with the aid of two so-called prophets, a muse-turned-stripper and a forgotten 13th apostle. Kevin Smith’s comedy fantasy, starring Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Linda Fiorentino, Salma Hayek, Jason Lee and Alan Rickman

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember to turn off the tap while brushing and turn the lights off. 🙂

xoxo