Sweet jumping jacks and pick-up-sticks! It’s another retro movie weekend! All over again!
With another landscape of retro movie awesomeness stretching before us, we find ourselves at a loss of where to start! Will it be thriller? Will it be comedy? Only the overlord of the remote control can decide with their entrusted powers. Whatever the mighty one decides, with the huge array of choice and wonder available, we will be left wide-eyes and wanting more.
Have a happy retro weekend!
SATURDAY 6th August
The Dark Crystal (1982) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.
The Land That Time Forgot (1974) ITV4 11:30am-1:20pm
American and German seamen form an uneasy alliance when they end up stranded on an island inhabited by prehistoric monsters as the First World War rages around them. Luckily, they discover an ancient fuel source, a find which increases their chances of escaping – but their hopes of reaching it in time are slim. Fantasy adventure, starring Doug McClure, John McEnery, Susan Penhaligon and Keith Barron.
Holy Man (1998) 5STAR 4:50pm-7:05pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
The cynical executive in charge of a downmarket TV shopping channel hires a mystic guru as a presenter to draw in more viewers. The ratings soar as the unlikely host’s on-air spiritual advice proves a runaway hit with the public, and also makes his shallow boss reassess his values. Satirical comedy, starring Eddie Murphy, Jeff Goldblum, Kelly Preston, Robert Loggia and Jon Cryer.
Mission: Impossible (1996) Film4 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Secret agents suspect there is a traitor in their organisation when their latest assignment ends in disaster. The sole survivor is accused of being the mole, forcing him to go on the run to clear his name. However, in the process, he discovers a former Russian spy is selling information about the world’s leading undercover operatives. Action thriller based on the 1960s TV series, starring Tom Cruise, Jon Voight and Ving Rhames.
Men in Black (1997) Channel 4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.
Hot Fuzz (2007) ITV2 9:00pm-11:25pm
An overly zealous, by-the-book London policeman is reassigned to a sleepy country village where the crime rate is virtually zero, and teamed up with an eager but dimwitted partner. But just as the officer’s uneventful new environment begins to chafe, a grisly series of so-called accidents gives him reason to suspect a strange conspiracy is afoot. Action comedy, with Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Jim Broadbent, Timothy Dalton and Paddy Considine.
Die Hard (1988) Film4 10:45pm-1:20am (2 hours 35 minutes)
New York cop John McClane visits Los Angeles to see his family over the Christmas holiday. Stopping off at his wife’s place of work, he realises armed men have taken over the building and are holding the corporation’s staff to ransom – and only he has the ability to fight back. Action thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and Bonnie Bedelia.
Ransom (1996) ITV4 10:40pm-11:55pm
An airline tycoon is wary of involving the police when his nine-year-old son is abducted, but co-operates with their plan to make a ransom drop. However, when the trade-off goes badly wrong, he decides to take matters into his own hands by placing a $2million bounty on the kidnappers’ heads, to the consternation of the cops and his anxious wife. Thriller, starring Mel Gibson, Rene Russo, Gary Sinise, Delroy Lindo and Liev Schreiber.
SUNDAY 7th August
Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 2:50pm-4:40pm
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.
Mr Bean Merchandise
Monsters, Inc (2001) Channel 4 6:15pm-8:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Two monsters work for an energy firm that employs scary creatures to sneak into children’s bedrooms and convert their screams into power. However, when a little girl accidentally wanders into the pair’s domain, they have to race against time to return her safely home before anyone finds out. Pixar animated comedy, with the voices of John Goodman, Billy Crystal, Steve Buscemi and James Coburn.
Mission: Impossible 2 (2000) Film4 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Secret agent Ethan Hunt sent to find and destroy the only sample of a deadly man-made virus. However, he faces tough opposition in a former spy-turned-criminal mastermind who has already acquired the cure and now wants the pathogen itself. Director John Woo’s action thriller sequel, starring Tom Cruise, Dougray Scott, Thandie Newton and Anthony Hopkins.
Fun Fact: Always one for keeping things as real as possible, Tom Cruise insisted that in the knife scene, the knife would be just one quarter-inch away from his eye being connected by cable behind it. It looks like Dougray Scott is trying hard to push it because…..he really is! Scary!
Die Hard 2 (1990) Film4 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife, but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.
Raw Deal (1986) ITV4 10:15pm-12:25am
An FBI agent is discharged for insubordination after assaulting a suspect, and ends up reduced to being the sheriff of a backwater Southern town. He is later offered his old job back – on the condition he will infiltrate a gang of Chicago mobsters and bring their leader to justice for killing the son of the Bureau’s chief. Action thriller, with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sam Wanamaker, Kathryn Harrold, Ed Lauter and Darren McGavin.
Ghost (1990) 11:20pm-1:40am (2 hours 20 minutes)
The spirit of a murdered executive tries to find a way to help his girlfriend bring his killer to justice and enlists the aid of a fraudulent medium – who is amazed and baffled when her psychic powers turn out to be all too real. Romantic fantasy, starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Tony Goldwyn and an Oscar-winning Whoopi Goldberg.
Whatever you’re up to this weekend, give it your all and don’t forget to empty the bath when you get out.