The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 54!

Bears in jumpers! Is it the weekend?

So, as the sun descends over the dusty planes of old wild west, where herds of cattle graze freely on the lush vegetation, let us be your band of sun-kissed, dirt covered cowboys as we attempt to drive this cattle train over fields of retro movie greatness, across rivers of mega cinematic awesomeness and through valleys of celluloid amazement. Yeeehaw!

Have a happy retro weekend 🙂

SATURDAY 20th APRIL

Kindergarten Cop (1990)ITV London 3:30pm-5:30pm (2 hours)
A tough detective is forced to pose as a pre-school teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson.

Rocky IV (1985)Channel 5 7:40pm-9:30pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The Italian Stallion agrees to help former champion Apollo Creed train for a match against a seemingly invincible boxer from the Soviet Union, only to see his friend die as a result of injuries sustained in the fight. Rocky vows to avenge him, and prepares to take on the Russian heavyweight in his own country. Drama sequel, directed by and starring Sylvester Stallone. With Dolph Lundgren, Talia Shire, Carl Weathers and Brigitte Nielsen.

Men's Rocky Balboa vs Clubber Lang T-Shirt £19.99 (also available for ladies)
Men's Rocky Balboa vs Clubber Lang T-Shirt £19.99 (also available for ladies)

Planes, Trains and Automobiles (1987)Film4 9:00pm-10:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A stressed businessman just wants to make it home to spend Thanksgiving with his family. However, when his flight is forced to land miles from its destination, he finds himself sharing a disaster-strewn journey across America with an amiable but slobbish salesman. Comedy road movie, starring Steve Martin, John Candy, Laila Robins, Kevin Bacon and Michael McKean.

Parenthood (1989)ITV London 10:45pm-1:00am (2 hours 15 minutes)
Anxious family man Gil Buckman is determined to have a better relationship with his three children than he had with his tough father. Elsewhere, his two sisters are also having family problems – one is struggling to understand her two troubled teenagers, while the other’s husband wants to turn their toddler into a child genius. Comedy drama, starring Steve Martin, Keanu Reeves, Mary Steenburgen, Jason Robards and Dianne Wiest.

SUNDAY 21st APRIL

Toy Story (1995)ITV2 12:10pm-1:55pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A jealous string-pulled cowboy doll’s status as his owner’s favourite plaything is threatened by the arrival of a charismatic hi-tech astronaut figure, who refuses to believe he is simply a toy. However, the rivals are forced to work together when they are left stranded in the outside world. Pixar animated adventure, featuring the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Don Rickles and Jim Varney.

Toy Story 2 (1999)ITV2 1:55pm-3:45pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Cowboy doll Woody is stolen by an unscrupulous toy collector, who knows he is worth a fortune as a collectible, prompting fearless Space Ranger Buzz Lightyear to lead a daring across-town mission to rescue him. However, Woody is tempted to spend his life languishing in the safety of a museum rather than face the prospect of his owner growing up. Animated sequel, featuring the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack and Kelsey Grammer.

Jurassic Park (1993)ITV London 3:55pm-6:15pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Scientists are given a sneak preview of a safari park inhabited by genetically engineered dinosaurs created by an eccentric tycoon. However, it all goes wrong when a greedy employee sabotages the security systems, allowing the prehistoric beasts to roam free and hunt the visitors. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, starring Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough and Samuel L Jackson.

Risky Business (1983)Sky Living 10:00pm-11:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
An upper-class suburban teenager gets involved with a prostitute while his parents are away on holiday, turning the family home into a brothel and jeopardising his plans for the future. Coming-of-age comedy, starring Tom Cruise, Rebecca De Mornay, Bronson Pinchot and Joe Pantoliano.

Whopbopalooba-awhopbamboo! It’s bonus movie clip time!

This time from the best supply teacher of all time Mr Schwarzenegger. I only want one of these kids dads jobs, I’ll let you guess which one!

Whatever you get up to this weekend, remember, if it aint broke, break it and always enjoy yourselves.

Toodaloo.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 45!

Alfonso Bonzo! it’s only gone and become the Weekend!

As sure as the Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti, let us proudly be a parade of dignified Elephants Gallantly marching trunk to tail over the African planes as we search out for you nostalgic cinematic fun, retro movie awesomeness and cinematic celluloid greatness.

Have a happy retro weekend 🙂

SATURDAY 16th MARCH

Private Benjamin (1980)Channel 5 4:05pm-6:10pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A scatterbrained society woman looks for a change of pace after her husband dies on their wedding night, and is tricked by a duplicitous recruiter into enlisting in the army. In spite of the initial culture shock and conflict with her tough commanding officer, she gradually finds direction and self-esteem for the first time in her life. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Armand Assante, Eileen Brennan, Harry Dean Stanton and Sam Wanamaker.

Teen Wolf(1985)5* 4:35pm-6:25pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A teenage misfit is initially dismayed to learn he is a werewolf as a result of a hereditary curse. He finds there are advantages as he becomes a local celebrity, while his enhanced agility makes him the star player of his school’s basketball team – but fame quickly goes to his head. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, James Hampton and Susan Ursitti.

Men's Teen Wolf Fancy Dress Costume £47.99 (free P&P)
Men's Teen Wolf Fancy Dress Costume £47.99 (free P&P)

Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)Film4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A fast-talking US Army disc jockey is sent to entertain the GIs in 1960s Saigon, but he enrages the military top brass by blasting the airwaves with his irreverent and controversial view of the conflict in South-East Asia. Comic drama, starring Robin Williams, Forest Whitaker and Bruno Kirby.

Total Recall (1990)ITV London 10:40pm-12:45am (2 hours 5 minutes)
A construction worker pays to have fake memories of a dream holiday implanted into his brain, but discovers his mind has already been tampered with – apparently to erase his true identity as a secret agent from a colony on Mars. He journeys to the planet in search of the truth, but is drawn into a conflict between the tyrannical ruler and a rebel faction. Paul Verhoeven’s sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin and Michael.

SUNDAY 17th MARCH

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)Channel 5 6:15pm-8:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

Transformers (2007)E4 8:00pm-10:50pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
Teenager Sam Witwicky is treated to his first car by his dad, but it turns out to be an alien scout with a life of its own. Before long, the vehicle embroils Sam in a long-running intergalactic war between two factions of giant shape-changing robots, which have come to Earth to find a mystical cube that grants infinite power to its possessor. Michael Bay’s sci-fi action adventure, inspired by the toy franchise, with Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Jon Voight and John Turturro.

Ghost (1990)Film4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
The spirit of a murdered executive tries to find a way to help his girlfriend bring his killer to justice and enlists the aid of a fraudulent medium – who is amazed and baffled when her psychic abilities turn out to be all too real. Romantic fantasy, starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Tom Goldwyn and an Oscar-winning Whoopi Goldberg.

Tremors (1989)ITV4 9:00pm-10:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A dull American town in the middle of the desert is suddenly attacked by huge man-eating subterranean creatures. Luckily, two dimwitted but brave handymen step into the breach to lead a ragtag bunch of locals and a mismatched pair of survivalists in the battle against the gruesome worm-like monsters. Comedy horror, with Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Finn Carter, Michael Gross, Reba McEntire and Bobby Jacoby.

Ringadingdong! Bonus movie clip time, just a little taster for the weekend enjoy.

Whatever you get up to this weekend remember to always wash behind your ears, stay safe and enjoy yourselves.

Night night

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 40!

Pop up Pirate! The Weekend is here!

So like a rustic country farm with happy mud encrusted pigs, the ever proud herd of black and white cattle huddle in field while an over eager border collie chases after a stick. Let us be your old timey farm hand as we climb aboard our tractor of destiny to plough through the fields of retro movie fantasticness, sow the seeds of cinematic awesomeness and dig out great mounds of celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend 🙂

SATURDAY 9th FEBRUARY

Crocodile Dundee II (1988) Channel 4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The rugged Australian adventurer sets out to save his reporter girlfriend from New York drug dealers. Having rescued her from their clutches, he realises they will soon be coming after him – so he decides to even the odds by luring them to the Outback for a final showdown. Comedy adventure sequel, starring Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Charles S Dutton.

Short Circuit (1986) Syfy 5:00pm-7:00pm (2 hours)
A military robot is struck by lightning and develops a mind of its own. The machine embarks on a series of comic misadventures, but the company that made him want him back. He realises his only hope is to convince the scientist who invented him that he really is alive. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Steve Guttenberg, Ally Sheedy and Fisher Stevens.

The Karate Kid Part II (1986) 5* 7:40pm-10:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
High-kicking teenager Daniel accompanies his venerable mentor Mr Miyagi when he returns to the Japanese province of Okinawa to visit his dying father. However, an old rival of Miyagi’s is waiting for them, while Daniel is drawn into a vicious conflict with their enemy’s own karate protege. Martial arts sequel, starring Ralph Macchio, Pat Morita and Yuji Okumoto.

Men's Daniel San Karate Kids Fancy Dress Costume £26.99
Men's Daniel San Karate Kids Fancy Dress Costume £26.99

The Full Monty (1997) E4 9:00pm-10:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Six unemployed men from Sheffield decide to become strippers for one night only in a bid to raise extra money. However, with no dancing experience and far from perfect physiques, the men rely on the unique selling point of complete nudity to impress the punters. Comedy, starring Robert Carlyle, Mark Addy, Tom Wilkinson, Hugo Speer and Paul Barber.

SUNDAY 10th FEBRUARY

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984) Channel 4 2:25pm-4:25pm (2 hours)
Admiral Kirk and his crew hijack the decommissioned Enterprise to recover the body of their fallen comrade Mr Spock from the planet Genesis. Kirk has learnt that Spock’s spirit is still alive, and the Vulcan can be resurrected, but he must also battle a Klingon captain determined to control the planet’s mysterious energy. Sci-fi sequel, directed by Leonard Nimoy, with William Shatner, DeForest Kelley and Christopher Lloyd.

Retro Star Trek Wallet £13.99
Retro Star Trek Wallet £13.99

Kindergarten Cop (1990) ITV2 5:50pm-8:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A tough detective is forced to pose as a pre-school teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson.

Beetlejuice (1988) Sky Movies Modern Greats 6:25pm-8:00pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
Recently deceased couple Adam and Barbara Maitland enlist the professional services of a hard-boiled veteran ghost to scare away the obnoxious yuppie family who have moved into their former home. Tim Burton’s supernatural comedy, starring Michael Keaton, Geena Davis, Alec Baldwin, Winona Ryder, Jeffrey Jones and Catherine O’Hara.

Ladies Ghost With The Most Beetlejuice T-Shirt £22.99 (also available for men)
Ladies Ghost With The Most Beetlejuice T-Shirt £22.99 (also available for men)

Purple Rain (1984) Sky Movies Drama & Romance 1:20am-3:20am (2 hours)
A talented singer tries to escape his troubled home life through his music. However, his arrogant nature puts him in danger of alienating his band and losing the fellow performer he loves to a charismatic rival. Musical drama, starring Prince, Apollonia Kotero, Morris Day and Olga Karlatos. The soundtrack features hits including the title track, Let’s Go Crazy and the Oscar-winning When Doves Cry.

Ladies White Revolution T-Shirt £24.99
Ladies White Revolution T-Shirt £24.99

I’ve actually been waiting for Purple Rain to be on TV for a while just so I can include this video. (sure it’s on late but that’s what Sky+ was invented for!)

Annoy your work colleagues and friends and sing along badly with the rest of us 😉

Whatever you get up to this weekend, remember to have fun and enjoy yourselves.