The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 172

Double rainbow! Is it really the weekend? Already? So soon? Okay!

Like a local food guru taste testing their way through a local fate bake competition, we find ourselves once again facing a whole line up of treats, all waiting for us to sample, enjoy and reward. We’ll work our way through the cinematic greats like tucking into some delicious fruitcake, sweet, homely, and hearty all topped up with a sneak of alcohol. A perfect movie night in!

SATURDAY 14th NOVEMBER

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Black Beauty
(1994) ITV3 10:55am-12:45pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A stallion recalls the events of his life and a succession of good and bad owners. His carefree youth on a country estate is brought to an end by a stable fire, and he ends up enduring a hard life pulling a hackney cab in Victorian London. Family drama based on Anna Sewell’s novel, starring Sean Bean, David Thewlis, Jim Carter and Eleanor Bron, with Alan Cumming providing the voice of the horse.

My Neighbour Totoro (1988) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
Two sisters move to a new home in the countryside when their mother is taken ill. They are thrilled to discover the house is next to an enchanted forest, and befriending the eldest and wisest of the strange magical creatures dwelling there. Animated fantasy from Spirited Away director Hayao Miyazaki, with the voices of Dakota and Elle Fanning.

Scrooged (1988) Film4 3:00pm-5:00pm (2 hours)
A heartless TV executive is cruel to his employees and just sees the festive season as an opportunity to make money. However, on Christmas Eve, three ghosts arrive in the night and challenge him to change his cynical ways by showing him his past, present and future. Comedy based on Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, starring Bill Murray, Karen Allen, John Forsythe, David Johansen and Carol Kane.

Scooby-Doo (2002) ITV London 4:05pm-5:45pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The hapless hound and his chums reunite after a bitter break-up to solve a baffling mystery in the ghost-themed tourist resort of Spooky Island, whose owner is convinced he has a genuine haunting on his hands. Live-action comedy adventure based on the cartoon series, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, Matthew Lillard, Freddie Prinze Jr, Linda Cardellini and Rowan Atkinson.

Street Fighter (1994) 5* 5:50pm-7:55pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A military officer goes in search of a power-mad general who is holding several hostages in a secret location. He soon finds he is not the only one on the maniac’s trail, and joins forced with a mismatched band of martial artists to save the captives. Action adventure based on the video game, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Kylie Minogue and Ming-Na Wen.

Star Trek III: The Search for Spock (1984) Dave 6:15pm-8:20pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Admiral Kirk and his crew hijack the decommissioned Enterprise to recover the body of their fallen comrade Mr Spock from the planet Genesis. Kirk has learnt that Spock’s spirit is still alive, and the Vulcan can be resurrected, but he must also battle a Klingon captain determined to control the planet’s mysterious energy. Sci-fi sequel, directed by Leonard Nimoy, with William Shatner, DeForest Kelley and Christopher Lloyd.

Star Trek T-Shirts

Kindergarten Cop (1990) ITV2 6:45pm-9:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A tough detective is forced to pose as a preschool teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson.

Starman (1984) Film4 6:45pm-9:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An alien who crash-lands on Earth falls in love with a widow after assuming her dead husband’s identity as a cover, but the duo are soon fleeing the authorities in a frantic effort to reach an extraterrestrial rescue ship. Sci-fi fantasy romance, directed by John Carpenter and starring Jeff Bridges, Karen Allen, Charles Martin Smith, Richard Jaeckel and Robert Phalen.

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993) AMC 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
The heroic outlaw returns from the Crusades to discover the country is in the grip of evil Prince John and the Sheriff of Rottingham, so he unites a motley band of warriors to overthrow them. Mel Brooks comedy, starring Cary Elwes, Roger Rees, Richard Lewis, Tracey Ullman, Amy Yasbeck, Patrick Stewart, Isaac Hayes and Dom DeLuise.

The Inbetweeners 2 (2014) Channel 4 9:00pm-10:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Premiere. Awkward teenagers Will, Simon and Neil find university life does not live up to their expectations, and are insanely jealous of Jay’s stories of his gap year in Australia. Heading Down Under to meet their friend, they inevitably discover he has exaggerated his escapades – so decide to go in search of a real adventure. Comedy sequel, starring Simon Bird, James Buckley, Joe Thomas and Blake Harrison.

2 Fast 2 Furious (2003) ITV2 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A disgraced former cop is arrested by the FBI for illegal street racing, but his one-time colleagues offer him freedom in exchange for going on an undercover mission. Teaming up with an old racing friend and a customs official, he has to infiltrate and bring down a drug-trafficking operation. Thriller sequel, with Paul Walker reprising his role from The Fast and the Furious alongside Tyrese Gibson, Eva Mendes and Cole Hauser.

SUNDAY 15th NOVEMBER

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Napoleon Dynamite
(2004) Film4 3:05pm-4:55pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A socially inept high-school student and his lonely unemployed brother find their eccentric home life thrown into upheaval when their meddling uncle comes to stay. The teenage oddball tries to make the best of his changing circumstances, while putting all his skills to the task of helping his new best friend win the class presidency. Comedy, starring Jon Heder, Efren Ramirez and Haylie Duff.

Vote for Pedro T-Shirt

Wayne’s World 2 (1993) 5* 4:05pm-6:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Heavy metal fanatics Wayne and Garth try to stage a giant Woodstock-style rock festival, with a little help from a spaced-out British roadie and the ghost of Jim Morrison. But Wayne also has to stop his girlfriend leaving him for her slimy manager. Comedy sequel, starring Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Ralph Brown, Kim Basinger, Tia Carrere and Christopher Walken.

Big (1988) Film4 4:55pm-7:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Fun Fact: Tom Hanks was the first choice to play Josh Baskin but was unavailable due to scheduling conflicts with the films Dragnet (1987) and Punchline (1988). Robert De Niro was then offered the lead role, and was rejected because his salary demand ($6 million) was too high. Tom Hanks then became available and accepted the lead role for $2 million.

Antz (1998) Comedy Central 6:20pm-8:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A neurotic worker ant passes himself off as a soldier to impress a princess. However, he provokes a jealously ambitious general with an accidental act of heroism – so he and his beloved decide to flee the brutal colony and go in search of the promised land of Insectopia. Animated comedy, with the voices of Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman and Sylvester Stallone.

Bean (1997) ITV2 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The hapless fool is employed as a security guard for a British art gallery and is sent to Los Angeles to bring back a famous painting. Unfortunately, he finds himself mistaken for a renowned art professor and invited to make an important presentation. Mel Smith’s British comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Burt Reynolds, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Peter Capaldi and June Brown.

Mr Bean T-Shirt

Men in Black II (2002) E4 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Agent J investigates the unauthorised landing of a spacecraft and discovers a malevolent alien disguised as a lingerie model is on the verge of destroying humanity. His only hope of stopping her diabolical plot is to restore the memory of his retired partner K – but his former mentor takes more than a little convincing. Sci-fi comedy sequel, directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Rosario Dawson, Lara Flynn Boyle, Johnny Knoxville, Rip Torn and Tony Shalhoub.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) Comedy Central 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
A velvet-clad, sex-crazed secret agent from the 1960s agrees to be put into a state of suspended animation after his arch-enemy escapes justice. Thirty years later he is defrosted to do battle with the power-mad villain again, but the mission proves nearly as daunting for him as getting to grips with 1990s social values. Spoof spy adventure, with Mike Myers, Elizabeth Hurley, Mimi Rogers, Michael York and Robert Wagner.

Independence Day (1996) Film4 9:00pm-11:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
A fleet of huge flying saucers launches a devastating and unprovoked attack on Earth. As survivors try to flee the seemingly unstoppable alien invaders, the courageous US president, an ace pilot and a computer genius come up with a plan to take the fight to the enemy and save the human race. Roland Emmerich’s sci-fi adventure, starring Will Smith, Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum, Mary McDonnell, Randy Quaid, Robert Loggia and Harry Connick Jr.

Virus (1999) Syfy 10:50pm-12:50am (2 hours)
A salvage tug sailing perilously close to a typhoon discovers an abandoned Russian science vessel. Members of the crew board the ship, only to discover it has been taken over by an alien life form made of pure energy, which can create warriors out of organic and mechanical components and plans to eradicate the human race. Sci-fi thriller, starring Jamie Lee Curtis and Donald Sutherland.

Whatever you’re up to  this weekend, make sure you have enough milk and not to walk too far in new shoes.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 163

Helmets and handlebars! It’s only the weekend again? Oh but how we love it!

Like a very amateur but super keen cyclist, we find ourselves once again gearing up for another weekend of action packed adventure. We’re busy adjusting our straps, clips, nuts and bolts as we get ready to speed off into another few days of retro movie awesomeness which will leave us breathless and always wanting more. We’ll take the twisting and turning plot lines like a pro before sprinting for the finish and ending with a bang the likes of which no one ever expected!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 5th September

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Carry On Behind
(1975) Film4 11:00am-12:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Professors Ronald Crump and Anna Vooshka embark on an archaeological dig, but find their efforts disrupted by the saucy shenanigans of a motley bunch of holiday-makers in the neighbouring caravan park. Comedy, starring Kenneth Williams, Elke Sommer, Joan Sims, Windsor Davies, Kenneth Connor and Bernard Bresslaw.

Fun Fact: The campsite scenes filmed in the same field at Pinewood Studios as Carry on Camping earlier in 1969.

Big Fish (2003) Film4 1:00pm-3:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A writer driven away from home by his father’s tall tales returns when the old man is on his deathbed. He sets out to retrace his father’s life in the hope of finally learning the truth – but in the process, remembers why he loved the fanciful stories as a child. Tim Burton’s fantasy drama, starring Ewan McGregor, Albert Finney, Billy Crudup, Helena Bonham Carter, Danny DeVito and Steve Buscemi.

Peter Pan (2003) ITV2 5:10pm-7:20pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The adventures of the boy who never grows old, as he whisks Wendy Darling and her brothers away to the magical world of Neverland – where they come face to face with fearsome Captain Hook. Adaptation of JM Barrie’s fantasy novel, starring Jeremy Sumpter, Rachel Hurd-Wood, Jason Isaacs and Lynn Redgrave.

Dante’s Peak (1997) ITV2 7:20pm-9:30pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A vulcanologist’s suspicions that a long-dormant volcano is about to erupt turn out to be true, prompting him to race against time to save the community standing in its way – and clash with local government officials weighing his predictions against the loss in tourism revenue. Disaster movie, starring Pierce Brosnan, Linda Hamilton, Elizabeth Hoffman and Charles Hallahan.

Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985) ITV4 8:00pm-9:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
America’s most inept cops graduate and are let loose on the streets – under the command of an unscrupulous lieutenant whose promotion depends on their failure. Fortunately for him, their unique brand of policing actually leads to an increase in the crime rate. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, David Graf and Michael Winslow.

Primal Fear (1996) Watch 9:00pm-11:35pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
A cynical lawyer plans to boost his public profile by defending an altar boy who stands accused of murdering an eminent Catholic bishop. The case seems open and shut, as the boy was found covered in blood fleeing the scene – but as the victim’s dark secrets and the defendant’s psychological disorders come to light, things prove far from simple. Courtroom thriller, with Richard Gere, Edward Norton, Frances McDormand and Laura Linney.

Austin Powers in Goldmember (2002) Sky1 10:00pm-11:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The snaggle-toothed spy travels through time to rescue his equally suave father, who has been kidnapped by arch-villain Dr Evil and his new ally – a devilish Dutchman with a love of gold. Comedy sequel, starring Mike Myers in four different roles alongside Michael Caine, Beyonce Knowles, Seth Green and Fred Savage.

Kevin and Perry Go Large (2000) Comedy Central 10:00pm-11:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The teenage duo are thrilled when their parents agree to let them go to Ibiza, and promptly embark on an increasingly desperate quest to find stardom as club DJs and lose their virginity on the sun-kissed shores – but seem certain to fail. Comedy, starring Harry Enfield, Kathy Burke, Rhys Ifans, James Fleet and Paul Whitehouse.

Boyz N the Hood (1991) BBC2 London 11:10pm-12:55am (1 hour 45 minutes)
A bright but underachieving teenager with a domineering single father strikes up a friendship with two brothers, and over time, the three young men each follow their own path – but a tragedy eventually leaves them facing a dangerous choice. Drama, starring Cuba Gooding Jr, Laurence Fishburne, Morris Chestnut and Ice Cube.

SUNDAY 6th September

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Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
(1989) Film4 11:00am-12:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A professor invents a ray with the power to reduce objects in size. Unfortunately, his kids and their meddling friends trigger it off and are shrunk to microscopic proportions. When they are accidentally thrown out with the rubbish, the children have to contend with all kinds of animals and insects on their journey home across the backyard. Disney comedy, with Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman and Amy O’Neill.

Fun Fact: The film’s original title was “Teenie Weenies”, which was rejected on the grounds that it sounded too much like a kiddies’ film with no appeal to adults.

The Flintstones (1994) ITV2 2:05pm-3:50pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Blue-collar caveman Fred Flintstone is promoted to an executive position at work and unwittingly becomes embroiled in an embezzlement scheme – thanks in no small part to his seductive new assistant. Live-action version of the cartoon comedy, starring John Goodman, Rick Moranis, Rosie O’Donnell, Halle Berry and Elizabeth Taylor.

White Fang (1991) Channel 5 3:20pm-5:25pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A prospector sets off for Alaska during the gold rush, and along the way he encounters a wolf-dog being cruelly treated by its owner. He sets the animal free and tames it, gaining a constant companion for his perilous journey through the wilderness. Adventure, based on Jack London’s novel, starring Ethan Hawke, Klaus Maria Brandauer and Seymour Cassel.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – The Cradle of Life (2003) Syfy 4:30pm-7:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
The daredevil heroine returns on a new quest, this time to search the world for the legendary Pandora’s Box. However, a devious scientist is determined to get his hands on it first and realise his cunning scheme to harness the box’s power as a deadly weapon. Action adventure sequel, starring Angelina Jolie, Gerard Butler, Ciaran Hinds, Chris Barrie and Djimon Hounsou.

Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV London 4:45pm-6:15pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

Mr Bean Merchandise

Superman II (1980) Channel 5 5:25pm-8:00pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
The Man of Steel meets his match in the form of three fugitive villains from his home planet of Krypton. Flying down to Earth, the super-powered trio unleash a reign of terror in a bid to take over the world – but Superman is not there to stop them, having surrendered his powers to lead a normal life with his beloved Lois Lane. Comic-strip adventure sequel, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Terence Stamp and Margot Kidder.

Superman Clothing

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) ITV2 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A lonely boy befriends an alien who has been left stranded on Earth. The two develop a psychic connection as the boy helps the extraterrestrial to contact his own people and call for rescue. However, living on Earth starts to have a devastating effect on the visitor’s health, and a government operative is determined to capture him for study. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi fantasy, starring Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace and Peter Coyote.

E.T T-Shirts

Iron Man 2 (2010) Channel 4 9:00pm-11:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Tycoon-turned-superhero Tony Stark confronts a fearsome new foe in a Russian scientist using his own deadly hi-tech weapons to seek revenge. He also faces a struggle to keep his secrets out of the hands of both the government and an amoral rival, and discovers the armour he developed to fight evil is slowly killing him. Action adventure sequel, with Robert Downey Jr, Mickey Rourke and Don Cheadle.

Iron Man T-Shirts

Notting Hill (1999) ITV London 10:15pm-12:35am (2 hours 20 minutes)
A recently divorced bookshop owner finds love with a glamorous Hollywood film star, but ends up the focus of unwanted media interest – which makes maintaining a relationship a tricky proposition. Romantic comedy written by Richard Curtis, starring Hugh Grant, Julia Roberts, Rhys Ifans, Emma Chambers, James Dreyfus and Gina McKee.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always keep a charger handy and don’t forget to get some milk in.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 162

Icarus’ wings! We do love the weekend.

So like a big old bucket full of multi coloured Lego let us be your helping hands as we use our infinite imagination and skill to build you a kaleidoscopic wonderland of retro delight and nostalgic movie masterpieces.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 29th August

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Treasure Island
(1972) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A boy discovers a map leading to the location of an infamous pirate’s buried treasure. He joins a voyage in search of the loot, only to discover the ship has been infiltrated by several of the buccaneer’s former crew, who plan to seize the riches for themselves. Adventure based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, starring Orson Welles and Kim Burfield.

The Man in the Sky (1957) London Live 2:00pm-3:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A test pilot struggling to support his family flies an experimental aircraft for the first time, but learns the manufacturers’ future and his career hinge on the flight being a success. When disaster strikes in mid-air, he takes drastic action to resolve the situation. Drama, starring Jack Hawkins and Elizabeth Sellars.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) ITV London 4:05pm-6:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
An eccentric confectionery king announces that five children will be given a tour of his wondrous factory. The winners turn out to be a kind-hearted boy from a penniless family and four obnoxious brats, who face a terrible fate when they misbehave. Musical fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s classic book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum and Roy Kinnear.

Roald Dahl Merchandise

Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005) BBC1 London 5:25pm-6:45pm (1 hour 20 minutes)
Inventor Wallace and his canine sidekick Gromit have set up a pest-control service, and are called in to stop rabbits overrunning a garden show. However, the pair are overwhelmed when a destructive giant bunny arrives on the scene, while an interfering aristocrat contrives to make matters worse. Nick Park’s Oscar-winning animated adventure, with the voices of Peter Sallis, Ralph Fiennes and Helena Bonham Carter.

The Money Pit (1986) 5* 5:35pm-7:30pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Yuppie couple Walter and Anna buy a ramshackle old house and set about renovating it, only to see their dream home gradually turn into a nightmare. Anna also has to contend with her ex-husband, who is determined to talk her into giving their relationship another try. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Shelley Long, Alexander Godunov and Joe Mantegna.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) Movie Mix 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
A velvet-clad, sex-crazed secret agent from the 1960s agrees to be put into a state of suspended animation after his arch-enemy escapes justice. Thirty years later he is defrosted to do battle with the power-mad villain again, but the mission proves nearly as daunting for him as getting to grips with 1990s social values. Spoof spy adventure, with Mike Myers, Elizabeth Hurley, Mimi Rogers, Michael York and Robert Wagner.

National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983) ITV4 11:30pm-1:35am (2 hours 5 minutes)
A bumbling all-American family man takes his wife and kids on a disaster-filled cross-country drive to California to visit famous theme park Walley World – but their chances of arriving at their destination in one piece are looking slim. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, Imogene Coca, Anthony Michael Hall, Christie Brinkley and John Candy.

I, Robot (2004) Film4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
The inventor of an advanced form of intelligent robot is found dead, and the detective investigating the case is certain that one of the scientist’s mechanical creations is responsible – but no one believes his theory because the robots have been programmed to prevent them from harming humans. Sci-fi thriller, inspired by the Isaac Asimov stories, starring Will Smith, Bridget Moynahan and Alan Tudyk.

Fun Fact: The car used by Will Smith’s character is a concept car called Audi RSQ, which was designed exclusively for the film and includes special features suggested by director Alex Proyas.

SUNDAY 30th August

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Small Soldiers
(1998) ITV2 1:30pm-3:40pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A hi-tech computer chip has a bizarre effect on a squad of toy soldiers, causing mayhem for their owner as the miniature marauders engage in a series of scaled-down skirmishes. Children’s adventure mixing live action and computer animation, starring Kirsten Dunst, Denis Leary and Gregory Smith, with the voices of Tommy Lee Jones, Frank Langella, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci.

Casino Royale (1967) ITV London 3:05pm-5:30pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Ageing spy James Bond comes out of retirement to tackle a mysterious mastermind who wants to take over the world. Meanwhile, another agent disguises himself as Bond to face the evil genius over the baccarat table. Spoof spy adventure, starring David Niven, Peter Sellers, Woody Allen, Orson Welles, Deborah Kerr and Ursula Andress.

Superman (1978) Channel 5 5:30pm-8:05pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman T-Shirts

Dante’s Peak (1997) ITV2 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A vulcanologist’s suspicions that a long-dormant volcano is about to erupt turn out to be true, prompting him to race against time to save the community standing in its way – and clash with local government officials weighing his predictions against the loss in tourism revenue. Disaster movie, starring Pierce Brosnan, Linda Hamilton, Elizabeth Hoffman and Charles Hallahan.

Fun Fact: The “volcanic ash” through the films was really fine newspaper shavings.

Deep Impact (1998) BBC3 9:00pm-10:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A TV reporter investigating a presidential misdemeanour stumbles on evidence that a comet is on a collision course with Earth, threatening the future of the human race. Meanwhile, an astronaut prepares to lead his crew on a do-or-die mission to intercept the danger. Sci-fi drama, starring Robert Duvall, Tea Leoni, Morgan Freeman and Elijah Wood.

Layer Cake (2004) Movie Mix 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A London cocaine dealer is all set to leave the criminal world behind and start a new life abroad. However, his plans are thwarted when he is asked to track down a gangster’s drug-addicted daughter and locate a stolen shipment of Ecstasy. Crime thriller, starring Daniel Craig, Michael Gambon, Colm Meaney, Kenneth Cranham and Sienna Miller.

Rush Hour (1998) ITV2 10:00pm-12:05am (2 hours 5 minutes)
A Hong Kong detective is sent to Los Angeles to investigate a kidnapping, but the local authorities worry that his presence in America might spark an international incident, and assign a loud-mouthed and troublesome cop to keep an eye on him. However, the new partnership proves an explosive combination. Comedy adventure, starring Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Ken Leung, Tom Wilkinson and Chris Penn.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget to wash your hands and remember that sometimes even the smallest things can mean the most.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 155

Salty Sea Boat Captain! The weekend is on the horizon already!

So like a birthday party rammed with kids dressed as princesses and pirates in a room adorned with multi coloured balloons and streamers, let us be your slightly over eager, little bit pushy and stressed mother as we bring to you a massive slice of retro movie greatness and pass you the well wrapped parcel of cinematic awesomeness and over excitedly open the presents of celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend.

SATURDAY 11th JULY

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) 5* 5:30pm-7:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

Clear and Present Danger (1994) Film4 6:05pm-9:00pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
A CIA analyst gets caught up in the Colombian drug trade while trying to track down terrorists responsible for the murder of a close friend of the US president – but his investigations point to illegal activity and corruption at the very top of government. Action thriller, based on Tom Clancy’s novel, with Harrison Ford reprising his role from Patriot Games alongside Willem Dafoe, Anne Archer and James Earl Jones.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010) ITV London 7:00pm-9:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
The dark lord Voldemort rises to ultimate power over the magical world, so the teenage wizard and his friends set out on a mission to find the magical horcruxes – artefacts containing parts of the evil wizard’s soul that hold the key to destroying him. The first half of the two-part conclusion to the fantasy saga, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Ralph Fiennes, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint.

Harry Potter Merchandise

Never Say Never Again (1983) ITV4 8:00pm-10:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
James Bond investigates the hijacking of two American nuclear warheads and tracks the stolen missiles to the Bahamas, where a sinister millionaire working for criminal organisation Spectre is planning to hold the world to ransom. Action adventure, starring Sean Connery, Klaus Maria Brandauer, Kim Basinger, Max von Sydow and Barbara Carrera.

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) Movie Mix 9:00pm-10:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A velvet-clad, sex-crazed secret agent from the 1960s agrees to be put into a state of suspended animation after his arch-enemy escapes justice. Thirty years later he is defrosted to do battle with the power-mad villain again, but the mission proves nearly as daunting for him as getting to grips with 1990s social values. Spoof spy adventure, with Mike Myers, Elizabeth Hurley, Mimi Rogers, Michael York and Robert Wagner.

Rambo: First Blood Part II (1985) ITV4 10:45pm-12:50am (2 hours 5 minutes)
Incarcerated Special Forces veteran John Rambo is offered the chance for freedom by former commander Colonel Trautman if he takes up the offer to return to the jungles of Vietnam on a life-or-death mission to rescue American PoWs. During the course of the operation, he develops strong feelings for his guide, a female freedom fighter – but tragedy strikes, leaving him more determined than ever to exact a bloody and explosive revenge. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Julia Nickson-Soul, Steven Berkoff, George Kee Cheung, Andy Wood and Martin Kove.

SUNDAY 12th JULY

The Dark Crystal (1982) Film4 1:00pm-2:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

The Dark Crystal T-Shirts

The Flintstones (1994) ITV2 2:35pm-4:20pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Blue-collar caveman Fred Flintstone is promoted to an executive position at work and unwittingly becomes embroiled in an embezzlement scheme – thanks in no small part to his seductive new assistant. Live-action version of the cartoon comedy, starring John Goodman, Rick Moranis, Rosie O’Donnell, Halle Berry and Elizabeth Taylor.

Overboard (1987) ITV London 2:35pm-4:45pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A wealthy heiress suffers amnesia after falling overboard from her yacht. A rough-hewn carpenter and father of four steps in and claims to be her husband – but only to avenge himself for her previous ill-treatment of him, which she has no recollection of. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Roddy McDowall and Edward Herrmann.

Fantastic Mr Fox (2009) Film4 2:50pm-4:35pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A rebellious fox decides it is time to grow up and change his chicken-stealing ways for the sake of his wife and children. However, the presence of three wicked farmers near his woodland home proves a challenge he cannot resist. Stop-motion animated adventure based on the novel by Roald Dahl, with the voices of George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray.

Fantastic Mr Fox Merchandise

James and the Giant Peach (1996) 5* 4:00pm-5:30pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
An unhappy orphan living with his cruel aunts discovers a gigantic peach growing in the garden. Venturing inside, he meets six friendly insects and together they embark on a magical journey. Animated and live-action fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Paul Terry, Joanna Lumley and Miriam Margolyes and featuring the voices of Susan Sarandon and Richard Dreyfuss.

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) ITV2 6:30pm-9:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Scientist Dr Ian Malcolm reluctantly joins a research team on the island where his employer first designed genetically engineered dinosaurs. Meanwhile, a big-game hunter takes the chance to bag the biggest prize of all – a Tyrannosaurus rex. Steven Spielberg’s dinosaur adventure sequel, starring Jeff Goldblum, Julianne Moore, Pete Postlethwaite and Richard Attenborough.

Jurassic Park T-Shirts

Unforgiven (1992) ITV4 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
Two notorious gunslingers come out of retirement to help a young assassin collect the $1,000 bounty on the heads of a pair of cowboys who attacked and mutilated a prostitute in the backwoods town of Big Whiskey. The local sheriff, however, has no intention of letting the pair impinge on his own authority. Oscar-winning Western, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood, with Gene Hackman, Morgan Freeman, Jaimz Woolvett and Richard Harris.

Death Becomes Her (1992) ITV3 10:10pm-12:20am (2 hours 10 minutes)
Two romantic rivals are both granted the secret of eternal youth by a mysterious mystic. However, as they battle to get their claws into a plastic surgeon, they discover their now-immortal bodies are capable of taking whatever damage they can dish out. Black comedy fantasy, starring Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis and Isabella Rossellini.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep it fun, keep it safe and keep it cool!

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 153

Stuffed crust! It’s only the weekend again….yep really!

Like an keen and greatly experienced pizza chef working their magic before the super-hot oven, we find ourselves once again with a whole weekends worth of retro-tastic movie toppings to select from to help layer up and bake our perfect weekend. We’ll pop on some spicy romance, some slithers of thickly cut and perfectly aged plot, a dash of action and of course plenty of cheese before nicely toasting in the oven. We’ll be left feeling full but ever so replete after stuffing ourselves on some of the best this weekend has to offer.

Have a happy retro weekend.

SATURDAY 27th JUNE

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Gone with the Wind
(1939) 5USA 12:30pm-5:00pm (4 hours 30 minutes)
A resourceful plantation heiress struggles to support herself through a series of challenges during the chaos of the American Civil War and the subsequent restoration, all the while maintaining a tumultuous relationship with a roguish Southern gentleman. Epic romantic drama based on Margaret Mitchell’s novel, starring Vivien Leigh, Clark Gable, Leslie Howard, Olivia de Havilland and Hattie McDaniel.

True Grit (1969) Film4 2:55pm-5:40pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
One-eyed, over-the-hill US Marshal Rooster Cogburn reluctantly agrees to help a girl track down her father’s killer. The quest is complicated by a Texas Ranger, who is also on the murderer’s trail, and a host of villains who have few qualms about disposing of the meddling youngster and her protector. Western, starring an Oscar-winning John Wayne alongside Jeff Corey, Kim Darby, Glen Campbell, Robert Duvall and Dennis Hopper.

The Addams Family (1991) E4 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours)
Creepy couple Morticia and Gomez find their unconventional life threatened by a man claiming to be a long-lost relative. When they welcome him with open arms, they fall prey to a plot that could cost them their ancestral home and the family fortune. Black comedy based on the 1960s TV series, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman and Carel Struycken.

Fun Fact: The entire Addams’ house was built for just $100,000.

Scooby-Doo (2002) ITV London 4:20pm-6:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The hapless hound and his chums reunite after a bitter break-up to solve a baffling mystery in the ghost-themed tourist resort of Spooky Island, whose owner is convinced he has a genuine haunting on his hands. Live-action comedy adventure based on the cartoon series, starring Sarah Michelle Gellar, Matthew Lillard, Freddie Prinze Jr, Linda Cardellini and Rowan Atkinson.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007) ITV London 7:00pm-9:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
The young wizard struggles to convince his fellow sorcerers that the evil Lord Voldemort has returned to life. When Hogwarts headmaster Dumbledore is ousted in favour of a sadistic replacement, Harry realises he must take matters into his own hands, uniting his fellow pupils to form a secret army and training them for the inevitable confrontation to come. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Gary Oldman, Michael Gambon and Alan Rickman.

Harry Potter Merchandise

Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) Movie Mix 9:00pm-10:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A velvet-clad, sex-crazed secret agent from the 1960s agrees to be put into a state of suspended animation after his arch-enemy escapes justice. Thirty years later he is defrosted to do battle with the power-mad villain again, but the mission proves nearly as daunting for him as getting to grips with 1990s social values. Spoof spy adventure, with Mike Myers, Elizabeth Hurley, Mimi Rogers, Michael York and Robert Wagner.

The Wicker Man (1973) ITV4 11:30pm-1:20am (1 hour 50 minutes)
A devoutly Christian Scottish police officer travels to a remote island to investigate the disappearance of a missing girl. As his investigations are disrupted at every turn, the detective is horrified to see the population have embraced an ancient pagan lifestyle, and begins to fear they may intend to sacrifice the child in an occult ritual. Horror, starring Edward Woodward, Christopher Lee and Britt Ekland.

SUNDAY 28th JUNE

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The Land Before Time
(1988) Channel 5 12:05pm-1:20pm (1 hour 15 minutes)
A young brontosaurus is left alone when his mother dies, so goes off in search of a legendary valley, where food is plentiful and he will be safe. He acquires a group of new friends on his journey, who help each other to avoid predators and obstacles in their way. Animated adventure, featuring the voices of Gabriel Damon and Pat Hingle.

Big (1988) Film4 1:00pm-3:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

The Princess Bride (1987) Channel 5 1:20pm-3:15pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A cynical youngster becomes entranced by his grandfather’s magical tales, which revolve around a stable-boy’s heroic quest to rescue his lost love from the clutches of an evil prince, with the aid of a vengeance-seeking Spanish swashbuckler and his hulking sidekick. Rob Reiner’s comic fantasy adventure, with Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, Mandy Patinkin, Peter Falk and Fred Savage.

Edward Scissorhands (1990) Channel 4 2:30pm-4:35pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A reclusive genius creates a boy but dies before completing him, leaving his brainchild with scissor-like blades in place of hands. A kindly woman from a nearby suburb takes pity on the lonely figure and welcomes him into her home. He quickly becomes a hit in the neighbourhood – but then his new friends start to turn against him. Tim Burton’s fantasy, starring Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest and Vincent Price.

Edward Scissorhands Merchandise

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 3:50pm-5:45pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minions T-Shirts

Beetlejuice (1988) Channel 5 5:10pm-6:55pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Recently deceased couple Adam and Barbara Maitland enlist the professional services of a hard-boiled veteran ghost to scare away the obnoxious yuppie family who have moved into their former home. Tim Burton’s supernatural comedy, starring Michael Keaton, Geena Davis, Alec Baldwin, Winona Ryder, Jeffrey Jones and Catherine O’Hara.

Beetlejuice T-Shirts

Okay okay soooo not strictly retro BUT don’t miss….

The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) ITV2 5:45pm-9:00pm (3 hours 15 minutes)
Unassuming hobbit Bilbo Baggins is pulled out of his comfortable life when Gandalf the wizard volunteers him for a dangerous quest. He joins a party of dwarves who are on a mission to reclaim their lost homeland, which has been taken over by a dragon. The first part of Peter Jackson’s fantasy adventure trilogy based on JRR Tolkien’s novel, starring Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen and Richard Armitage.

The Hobbit Merchandise

Dirty Dancing (1987) Channel 5 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Fun Fact: In the scene where Johnny and Baby are practicing dancing, and she keeps laughing when he runs his arm down hers, it was not part of the scene; she was actually laughing and his frustration was genuine. They left it because it was effective. Her falling over in this scene was unplanned too.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember where you parked and that the worst part is always getting your shoulders under.

xoxo