The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 198

Mop our brow and pour us a drink! It’s only another sunny retro movie weekend!

Like an over excited weekender heading to the nearest beach , we find ourselves faced with another few days of adventure, comedy and perhaps a bit or romance as we set up base in the sand for another retro movie extravaganza! With sandy sandwiches and our trusty bucket and spade, we’ll wind away the sunny afternoon with the gentle breeze and sound of the crashing waves. With more layers of sun cream on than there are layers on a gob stopper, we’ll soak up some Sun before dashing the the ice cream van to grab more treats than we know we probably should. Good times.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 28th May

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Murder on the Orient Express (1974) ITV 1:15pm-3:50pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
An American businessman travelling on the Orient Express from Istanbul to Paris tries to hire Hercule Poirot to discover the source of the death threats that have been made against him. The sleuth refuses, but wakes up the following morning to learn the man has been stabbed to death while the train was held up by heavy snow – and there is no shortage of suspects among the passengers. Agatha Christie mystery,

Short Circuit 2 (1988) Sony Channel 2:30pm-4:45pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Manic mechanoid Johnny Five meets an old friend in New York City and embarks on a fact-finding tour – but ends up entangled in a series of escapades culminating in a bank robbery. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean, Cynthia Gibb and Jack Weston, with the voice of Tim Blaney.

Mannequin (1987) 5STAR 3:10pm-5:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A struggling artist gets a job as a window dresser for a department store, only to discover one of his dummies is a reincarnated Egyptian princess who comes to life at night. As he falls for the living doll, she inspires him to transform the shop’s display and make it the most spectacular in town. Fantasy comedy, starring Andrew McCarthy and Kim Cattrall.

Fun Fact: Director Michael Gottlieb got the idea for this film when he was walking by a store window and was startled to “see” a mannequin move by itself. He realized it was just an optical illusion caused by a combination of lights and shadows, but began to wonder what would happen if a mannequin actually DID come to life.

Uncle Buck (1989) ITV2 3:20pm-4:20pm (1 hour) 2 parts
An unreliable but good-natured slob is called upon to look after his trouble-making nephew and nieces while their parents are away – and what starts as a disaster soon changes for the better as the unlikely babysitter gets to grips with the finer points of being a responsible adult. Family comedy, starring John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Kelly, Gaby Hoffman, Amy Madigan and Laurie Metcalf.

Sister Act (1992) Film4 4:50pm-6:50pm (2 hours)
Nightclub singer Deloris Van Cartier agrees to testify against her gangster boyfriend after witnessing a murder. Placed in protective custody by the authorities, she is less than pleased to discover she is expected to pose as chaste nun Sister Mary Clarence in a convent. Comedy, starring Whoopi Goldberg, Harvey Keitel, Maggie Smith, Bill Nunn and Kathy Najimy.

The Animal (2001) Comedy Central 6:05pm-7:40pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
A man dreams of becoming a police officer, but thinks his chance is lost after a car accident leaves him critically injured. That is, until a deranged scientist offers to rebuild him with the body parts and organs of various animals, making his physique better than ever before. All seems well, until some beastly traits begin to emerge. Comedy, with Rob Schneider, Edward Asner and Colleen Haskell.

Hulk (2003) ITV 7:15pm-8:25pm (1 hour 10 minutes)
Scientist Dr Bruce Banner turns into the rampaging green Hulk after exposure to a huge dose of gamma radiation, prompting the military to embark on a no-holds-barred mission to destroy the monster. Meanwhile, Banner’s unstable father resurfaces, holding the secret to his transformation. Comic-strip adventure from director Ang Lee, starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott and Nick Nolte.

Hulk Merchandise

The Prestige (2006) BBC2 11:00pm-1:00am (2 hours)
Victorian stage illusionists Robert Angier and Alfred Borden engage in a bitter personal and professional rivalry. The pair resort to increasingly brutal measures to sabotage each other’s acts, while Angier becomes obsessed with the secret behind Borden’s greatest illusion. Christopher Nolan’s mystery thriller, starring Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Piper Perabo and Scarlett Johansson, with David Bowie as real-life scientific pioneer Nikola Tesla.

End of Days (1999) Channel 4 11:10pm-1:30am (2 hours 20 minutes)
A world-weary former police officer encounters the Devil himself on New Year’s Eve 1999, and is spurred into action to stop the Prince of Darkness exploiting an innocent woman to bring about Armageddon. Supernatural thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Gabriel Byrne, Robin Tunney, Rod Steiger, Kevin Pollak, CCH Pounder and Miriam Margolyes.

SUNDAY 29th May

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Beethoven (1992) ITV2 1:50pm-2:50pm (1 hour) 2 parts
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.

Doc Hollywood (1991) ITV3 4:30pm-5:40pm (1 hour 10 minutes)
An arrogant doctor on his way to California causes an accident in a rural South Carolina town and is sentenced to community service at the local hospital. Initially desperate to leave, he gradually comes to appreciate a slower pace of life. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, Julie Warner, Woody Harrelson, Bridget Fonda and George Hamilton.

Fun Fact: At one point Hank Gordon says, “I don’t trust a man who doesn’t eat meat.” In real life, Woody Harrelson is a vegan.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 5:20pm-6:20pm (1 hour) 2 parts
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Despicable Me Merchandise

Big (1988) Film4 4:50pm-6:55pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Field of Dreams (1989) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A farmer hears a mysterious voice inspiring him to mark out a baseball diamond in a cornfield – which, to his surprise, is visited by the ghost of the star player of the 1919 Chicago White Sox team, whose career was cut short by scandal. It later dawns on him the pitch has a greater purpose – to give people who have sacrificed important parts of their lives a second chance. Fantasy, starring Kevin Costner, Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster and James Earl Jones.

Police Academy (1984) ITV4 9:00pm-10:00pm (1 hour) 2 parts
An American police college lowers its entrance requirements in the hope of attracting new recruits, and in response, assorted dubious candidates turn up for enrolment. A short-tempered instructor is determined to weed out the bad apples, but a riot provides the clueless cops with a chance to prove their worth. Comedy, starring Steve Guttenberg, Kim Cattrall, Bubba Smith and GW Bailey.

Good Will Hunting (1997) ITV3 10:05pm-11:10pm (1 hour 5 minutes) 2 parts
A troubled maths genius refuses to use his gift, preferring to work as a janitor and lead a normal life with his friends. Eventually, a university professor persuades him to see a psychologist, who befriends him and proves the only person able to help him come to terms with his talent and past traumas. Drama, written by and starring Matt Damon and Ben Affleck, who won Oscars for their screenplay. With Robin Williams, Minnie Driver and Stellan Skarsgard.

Whatever you’re up to this long retro weekend, make sure you have an outside towel and an inside towel and don’t forget to bring enough socks. Matching optional.
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 119

Cakes on a plane! It’s the weekend…again?!

Preheating the oven to a steaming 180 degrees, we’ll be donning our trusty aprons with battle scars from previous attempts as we get busy measuring, mixing, cracking and greasing our way to cakey goodness. We’ll safely leave on the side to cool before spreading a much icing on as it each layer can handle, as we prepare our creation for its candle laden ceremony where it will make even the wildest dreams come true with one single puff.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 11th OCTOBER

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Jurassic Park (1993)
ITV London 3:10pm-5:35pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Scientists are given a sneak preview of a safari park inhabited by genetically engineered dinosaurs created by an eccentric tycoon. However, it all goes wrong when a greedy employee sabotages the security systems, allowing the prehistoric beasts to roam free and hunt the visitors. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, starring Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough and Samuel L Jackson.

Jurassic Park T-Shirts

For Your Eyes Only (1981) ITV4 4:45pm-7:25pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
James Bond goes in search of a British weapons system aboard a sunken vessel before it falls into the hands of enemies who will use it to deactivate all Western submarines. Unfortunately, his mission is hindered by a crossbow-toting woman out to avenge her father’s murder. Spy thriller, starring Roger Moore, Topol, Julian Glover, Carole Bouquet, Jill Bennett and Lynn-Holly Johnson.

Batteries Not Included (1987) Syfy 5:00pm-7:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A family of tiny alien spacecraft intervenes to help the residents of a run-down Manhattan brownstone tenement stop greedy developers from demolishing their homes. However, the miniature flying saucers have the odds stacked against them as they bravely do all they can to save the day. Sci-fi fantasy, starring Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Frank McRae and Elizabeth Pena.

Titanic (1997) Film4 5:20pm-9:00pm (3 hours 40 minutes)
A party of explorers studying the sunken remains of the famous liner meets an elderly woman who was a passenger on the ill-fated maiden voyage. She recounts how she boarded the ship while on the brink of being forced into marriage by her family, and was stopped from killing herself by a penniless artist. She fell in love with her saviour, but the disaster on the horizon meant their time together was doomed to be short. James Cameron’s Oscar-winning romantic drama, starring Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates and Bill Paxton.

Fact! The scenes set in 1912, i.e. the whole movie except the present-day scenes and the opening and ending credits, have a total length of two hours and forty minutes, the exact time it took for Titanic to sink. Besides, exactly 37 seconds pass in the movie between the lookouts warning and the actual collision with the iceberg – the same amount of time it took in real life.

Coming to America (1988) Film4 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A bored African prince defies his father’s plans for an arranged marriage and escapes to the USA to find a bride on his own terms. Comedy, starring Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in several roles, with James Earl Jones, Allison Dean, Eriq La Salle and Madge Sinclair.

Armageddon (1998) BBC1 London 11:10pm-1:30am (2 hours 20 minutes)
Nasa discovers an asteroid the size of Texas is on a collision course with Earth, so a drilling expert is recruited to train a team of misfits to transport a nuclear device into outer space to destroy it – but having had no experience of space travel, the reluctant astronauts find themselves seriously out of their depth. Sci-fi thriller, with Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Michael Clarke Duncan, Billy Bob Thornton and Steve Buscemi.

SUNDAY 12th OCTOBER

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Stand By Me (1986)
5* 2:00pm-3:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Four 12-year-old best friends embark on a life-changing adventure in the Oregon wilderness in search of a missing teenager’s body, unaware of the trials and triumphs that await them. Rob Reiner’s 1950s-set coming-of-age drama, based on a novella by Stephen King, starring River Phoenix, Wil Wheaton, Jerry O’Connell, Corey Feldman, Kiefer Sutherland and Richard Dreyfuss.

The Italian Job (1969) Film4 4:50pm-6:50pm (2 hours)
A crook puts together a motley gang to steal £4million in gold bullion from an Italian armoured car, which brings Turin to a standstill and enables the robbers to make a quick getaway in a fleet of Minis – but they end up falling foul of the Mafia along the way. Crime comedy, starring Michael Caine, Noel Coward, Benny Hill, Tony Beckley and John Le Mesurier.

Back to the Future (1985) ITV2 6:55pm-9:15pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Teenager Marty McFly travels back to the 1950s in a time machine built by his eccentric inventor friend. The return journey proves tricky enough, but he also accidentally alters the sequence of events that led to his parents falling in love – and has to persuade his future dad to win his mother’s heart, or he will never be born. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson and Crispin Glover.

Back to the Future T-Shirts

Die Hard (1988) Sky Movies Action & Adventure 8:00pm-10:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
New York cop John McClane visits Los Angeles to see his family over the Christmas holiday. Stopping off at his wife’s place of work, he realises armed men have taken over the building and are holding the corporation’s staff to ransom – and only he has the ability to fight back. Action thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and Bonnie Bedelia.

aaaaaaaaaaand there you have it folks! Another week, another collection of top retro films reading and waiting for your viewing pleasure. Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you look both ways and don’t leave the fridge door open.

Have a happy retro weekend!

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 82!

Alphabetti Spaghetti! Looks like the Weekend to me!

Once Upon a cloudy sky. Amongst a thick hazy Forrest, sat hunched over on a hollowed out log, gazing wearily over a steaming boggy marsh. Let us be your be-shaggled woodland Troll as we dribble, droll and blow snot bubbles in anticipation of something slimy and squidgy or boney and crunchy to eat. We’ll be poised and ready to pounce onto some cinematic greatness, we’ll prepare our nasty nosh with herbs and sprinkles of movie magic before we devoir the whole thing in one single gulp and belch out some celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 11th JANUARY

Stargate (1994) 5*  5:10pm-7:30pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
An Egyptologist and a soldier head an expedition through a mysterious portal to an alien planet. The world they find resembles ancient Egypt and is under the rule of a tyrant who has convinced the downtrodden inhabitants that he is a god – until the humans incite the enslaved populace to fight back. Sci-fi adventure, starring Kurt Russell, James Spader and Jaye Davidson

The Fifth Element (1997) 5*  7:30pm-10:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman

Saving Private Ryan (1998) More4  10:00pm-1:25am (3 hours 25 minutes)
In the aftermath of the Normandy landings, a group of American soldiers scours the battlefields of France in search of a missing infantryman, who has been given compassionate leave to return home because his brothers have been killed in the conflict. Steven Spielberg’s Oscar-winning Second World War drama, starring Tom Hanks, Tom Sizemore, Edward Burns, Matt Damon, Barry Pepper and Vin Diesel

Dogma (1999) Film4  9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Two fallen angels banished to Earth discover a theological loophole could get them back into Heaven – except their plan will cause the world’s destruction. It falls to a lapsed Catholic woman to stop them, with the aid of two so-called prophets, a muse-turned-stripper and a forgotten 13th apostle. Kevin Smith’s comedy fantasy, starring Matt Damon, Ben Affleck, Linda Fiorentino, Salma Hayek, Jason Lee and Alan Rickman

SUNDAY 12th JANUARY

Space Jam (1996) Channel 5  3:30pm-5:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Aliens arrive on Earth to abduct the Looney Tunes gang as a new attraction at their failing intergalactic theme park. To keep their freedom, Bugs Bunny and friends challenge the invaders to a high-stakes basketball game, calling on Michael Jordan to save the day and send the extraterrestrials back where they came from. Live action and animated comedy, starring Bill Murray and Danny DeVito, with the voices of Billy West and Bill Farmer

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992) Film4  3:25pm-5:10pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A scientist perfects a device for making objects grow when they come into contact with electricity. Unfortunately, his two-year-old son is accidentally turned into a giant and goes on the rampage through the streets of Las Vegas. Disney comedy sequel, starring Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman, Robert Oliveri and Lloyd Bridges

Coming to America (1988) Film4  9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A bored African prince defies his father’s plans for an arranged marriage and escapes to the USA to find a bride on his own terms. Comedy, starring Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in several roles, with James Earl Jones, Allison Dean, Eriq La Salle and Madge Sinclair

Sixteen Candles (1985) Film4  11:15pm-1:10am (1 hour 55 minutes)
A teenager’s parents forget her birthday, so she tries to get over her disappointment by searching for the man of her dreams, unaware she’s looking in the wrong place. Comedy drama, starring Molly Ringwald, Justin Henry and Anthony Michael Hall

Whatever you get your filthy mitts on this weekend, remember never stare a Gorilla in the eye and always enjoy yourselves.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 36!

El hijo del Santo! The Weekend is here, hooray!

So like a big pink ice cream van, full of delicious tasty icy treats, let us by your custodial frosted desert dealer as we prepare for you a mammoth sized creamy retro 99 topped off with swirly magic movie moments and sprinkles of celluloid cinematic wonder – oh and a flake!

Have a happy retro weekend 🙂

SATURDAY 12th JANUARY

Maverick (1994) 5USA 12:00pm-2:35pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
Wisecracking gambler Bret Maverick and con artist Annabelle Bransford cheat their way across the Wild West to make the money they need to enter a high-stakes, once-in-a-century poker tournament, with a ruthless rival on their trail and a principled lawman as an unlikely travelling companion. Comedy Western, starring Mel Gibson and Jodie Foster, with James Garner, star of the original TV series, alongside Graham Greene and James Coburn.

Hulk (2003) ITV1 London 2:55pm-5:30pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
Scientist Dr Bruce Banner turns into the rampaging green Hulk after exposure to a huge dose of gamma radiation, prompting the military to embark on a no-holds-barred mission to destroy the monster. Meanwhile, Banner’s unstable father resurfaces, holding the secret to his transformation. Comic-strip adventure from director Ang Lee, starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott and Nick Nolte.

Men's Charcoal Comic Cover Incredible Hulk Marvel T-Shirt **SALE £7.99**
Men's Charcoal Comic Cover Incredible Hulk Marvel T-Shirt **SALE £7.99**

Stripes (1981) Dave 9:00pm-11:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Two layabouts enlist in the US Army in the mistaken belief that a modern serviceman’s life is the equivalent of a luxury holiday. However, the pair quickly realise military duty is much more rigorous than either of them could ever have imagined, while a jaunt in a commandeered high-tech vehicle creates an international incident when they cross into enemy territory. Comedy, with Bill Murray, Harold Ramis, Sean Young, Warren Oates, John Candy and Judge Reinhold.

Armageddon (1998) BBC3 9:40pm-12:05am (2 hours 25 minutes)
Nasa discovers an asteroid the size of Texas is on a collision course with Earth, so a drilling expert is recruited to train a team of misfits to transport a nuclear device into outer space to destroy it – but having had no experience of space travel, the reluctant astronauts find themselves seriously out of their depth. Sci-fi thriller, with Bruce Willis, Ben Affleck, Liv Tyler, Michael Clarke Duncan, Billy Bob Thornton and Steve Buscemi.

SUNDAY 13th JANUARY

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992) Channel 4 2:40pm-4:25pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A scientist perfects a device for making objects grow when they come into contact with electricity. Unfortunately, his two-year-old son is accidentally turned into a giant and goes on the rampage through the streets of Las Vegas. Disney comedy sequel, starring Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman, Robert Oliveri and Lloyd Bridge.

Mannequin (1987) Channel 5 3:25pm-5:10pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A window dresser falls for an Ancient Egyptian princess reincarnated in the form of a department store dummy which comes to life at night. Fantasy comedy, starring Andrew McCarthy, Kim Cattrall, Estelle Getty and James Spader.

Uncle Buck (1989) ITV2 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
An unreliable but good-natured slob is called upon to look after his trouble-making nephew and nieces while their parents are away – and what starts as a disaster soon changes for the better as the unlikely babysitter gets to grips with the finer points of the job. Family comedy, starring John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Kelly, Gaby Hoffman, Amy Madigan and Laurie Metcalf.

Beverly Hills Cop (1984) Channel 4 11:15pm-1:15am (2 hours)
Fast-talking Detroit cop Axel Foley heads for Los Angeles after an old friend is murdered before his eyes. His search for the killers leads him into conflict with a seemingly untouchable drug kingpin, but he also has to contend with the local force, who do not want him taking matters into his own hands. Comedy thriller, starring Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, Ronny Cox, John Ashton and Steven Berkoff.

Ding ding ding, bonus movie clip time to get you all in the mood – enjoy 😉

Don’t forget to check out our ever growing range of retro inspired Movie T-Shirts so you can crown yourself a superfan!

Whatever you get up to this weekend, remember to have fun, enjoy yourselves, turn off the alarm clock and have a lie in!

Tatty bye.

xoxo