The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 319

Happy snow day! With snow falling faster than the temperature, many people across the land will find themselves leaping into their wellies and heading for the freshish patch of white stuff for some good old fashioned fun!
Looking to simply thaw out? We’ve got you sorted with our huge run down of top retro films beaming their way into your home this weekend. Enjoy!

SATURDAY 2nd February

Muppet Treasure Island (1996) E4 11:40am-1:45pm
A youngster finds a treasure map and joins an expedition searching for a famous buccaneer’s lost treasure on an unexplored island. However, their mission falls foul of a band of pirates hiding out among the crew. Musical comedy based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, starring Tim Curry, Billy Connolly, Jennifer Saunders and Kevin Bishop alongside the puppet characters.

The Muppets Clothing

Rock On Animal The Muppets Rolled Sleeve Boyfriend T-Shirt



The Mummy (1999) ITV2 1:40pm-4:00pm
A soldier of fortune joins an academic and her conniving brother on an expedition to an ancient Egyptian lost city. The explorers accidentally cause the spirit of a vengeful priest with awe-inspiring supernatural powers to rise from his tomb, leading to a desperate battle for survival. Fantasy action adventure, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo and Oded Fehr.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) Channel 5 3:00pm-5:15pm
Penniless Charlie Bucket is one of five lucky children who find a golden ticket in a chocolate bar, winning a once-in-a-lifetime tour of eccentric recluse Willy Wonka’s magical sweet company. Unfortunately, the other winners each face a grim fate when they start to misbehave. Tim Burton’s children’s fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, Helena Bonham Carter, and Deep Roy playing all the Oompa Loompas.

Roald Dahl Merchandise

Roald Dahl Charlie And The Chocolate Factory China Tea For One Set



Antz (1998) ITV2 4:00pm-5:45pm
A neurotic worker ant passes himself off as a soldier to impress a princess. However, he provokes a jealously ambitious general with an accidental act of heroism – so he and his beloved decide to flee the brutal colony and go in search of the promised land of Insectopia. Animated comedy, with the voices of Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman and Sylvester Stallone.

Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) 4:40pm-7:15pm
Feisty heroine Annie and her new boyfriend Alex take a cruise in the Bahamas, but the trip becomes a nightmare when they discover a vengeful computer genius – a former employee laid off because of his terminal illness – is also on board. He has secretly programmed the ship to crash into an oil tanker while he steals a cache of diamonds from the cargo. Action thriller sequel, with Sandra Bullock, Jason Patric and Willem Dafoe.

Deep Impact (1998) BBC2 6:40pm-8:30pm
A TV reporter investigating a presidential misdemeanour stumbles on evidence that a comet is on a collision course with Earth, threatening the future of the human race. Meanwhile, an astronaut prepares to lead his crew on a do-or-die mission to intercept the danger. Sci-fi drama, starring Robert Duvall, Tea Leoni, Morgan Freeman and Elijah Wood.

Men in Black II (2002) Film4 7:15pm-9:00pm
Agent J investigates the unauthorised landing of a spacecraft and discovers a malevolent alien disguised as a lingerie model is on the verge of destroying humanity. His only hope of stopping her diabolical plot is to restore the memory of his retired partner K – but his former mentor takes more than a little convincing. Sci-fi comedy sequel, directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Rosario Dawson, Lara Flynn Boyle, Johnny Knoxville, Rip Torn and Tony Shalhoub.

The Last of the Mohicans (1992) Dave 9:00pm-11:10pm
An orphaned settler in North America is adopted by the last member of a native tribe following the death of his family. The child grows to become legendary frontiersman Hawkeye, who rescues and falls in love with a British officer’s daughter during the Anglo-French War. But a bitter Huron war chief is determined to take revenge against her father by killing her. Michael Mann’s historical adventure, based on James Fenimore Cooper’s classic tale, starring Daniel Day-Lewis, Madeleine Stowe, Russell Means, Wes Studi, Maurice Roeves and Eric Schweig.

SUNDAY 3rd February

Thunderbirds Are Go! (1966) Film4 11:00am-1:05pm
International Rescue is called in to save the first manned space mission to Mars from sinister hijacker The Hood, and ensure a second attempt goes to plan. Puppet adventure based on Gerry Anderson’s TV series, featuring the voices of Shane Rimmer, Ray Barrett, Alexander Davion, Peter Dyneley, Sylvia Anderson and Cliff Richard, voicing a puppet version of himself.

James and the Giant Peach (1996) Sony Movie Channel 12:40pm-2:15pm
An unhappy orphan living with his cruel aunts discovers a gigantic peach growing in the garden. Venturing inside, he meets six friendly insects and together they embark on a magical journey. Animated and live-action fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Paul Terry, Joanna Lumley and Miriam Margolyes and featuring the voices of Susan Sarandon and Richard Dreyfuss.

James and the Giant Peach clothing

Roald Dahl What A Peach Sport Grey T-Shirt

Stuart Little (1999) Film4 1:05pm-2:45pm
An American couple decides their son needs a brother, and plan to adopt another child – but when they get to the orphanage they are greeted by a charming talking mouse named Stuart, who fits the bill perfectly. However, their jealous cat hatches a plot to get rid of the new arrival. Comedy adventure, starring Geena Davis and Hugh Laurie, with the voice of Michael J Fox.

Goldfinger (1964) ITV 2:15pm-4:30pm
James Bond is assigned to investigate a notorious German gold smuggler and discovers his quarry has ambitions much greater than first suspected. Pursuing the criminal mastermind around the world, Bond uncovers the villain’s audacious scheme to destroy the global economy with a daring attack on Fort Knox. Spy adventure, starring Sean Connery, Gert Frobe and Honor Blackman.



Batteries Not Included (1987) Sony Movie Channel 2:15pm-4:25pm
A family of tiny alien spacecraft intervenes to help the residents of a run-down Manhattan brownstone tenement stop greedy developers from demolishing their homes. However, the miniature flying saucers have the odds stacked against them as they bravely do all they can to save the day. Sci-fi fantasy, starring Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Frank McRae and Elizabeth Pena.

Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977) ITV2 3:50pm-6:25pm
Farm boy Luke Skywalker is thrust into an intergalactic battle between good and evil while trying to rescue a spirited princess from the clutches of the evil Darth Vader. En route, he is helped by a cocky space pilot, a veteran warrior, two bickering robots and a hairy 8ft alien. Sci-fi adventure directed by George Lucas, with Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Alec Guinness and Peter Cushing.

Official Star Wars Clothing

Star Wars Pyjamas



Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989) Channel 5 4:30pm-6:15pm
A professor invents a ray with the power to reduce objects in size. Unfortunately, his kids and their meddling friends activate it and are shrunk to microscopic proportions. When they are accidentally thrown out with the rubbish, the children have to contend with all kinds of animals and insects on their journey home across the backyard. Disney comedy, with Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman and Amy O’Neill.

Home Alone (1990) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

Home Alone Jumpers

Navy Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal Home Alone Christmas Sweater



Blade II (2002) 5STAR 9:00pm-11:20pm
The half-vampire swordsman teams up with his lifelong foes to defeat mutant bloodsuckers who lack many of the usual weaknesses of their kind and are preying on humans and vampires alike. Guillermo del Toro’s fantasy action thriller sequel, starring Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Leonor Varela, Norman Reedus and Luke Goss.

whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep warm, stay safe and never turn down the challenge of a snowball fight!

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 255

Well mask my wall and slap me with a brush! Another retro movie weekend is upon us!

Taking on more ‘little’ jobs than you could even imagine, the beginner DIYer is frantically at work trying to create a domestic masterpiece. Filling here, sanding there, our lone warrior is smashing their way through each room like a person possessed. Measuring twice and cutting once, the great wardrobes of glory will slowly rise to become a things of beauty. Fit for a king and queen, their new abode will make the history books and will sure to see them living in comfort for years to come.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 19th August

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Jumanji
(1995) Sony Movie Channel 1:00pm-3:10pm
A man who has been trapped inside a mysterious jungle board game for 26 years is eventually freed when two children start to play it. Unfortunately, he arrives with a rampaging horde of animals on his heels, leaving only one solution – to finish the game he started all those years ago. Fantasy adventure, starring Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst and Bonnie Hunt.

Labyrinth (1986) 5STAR 5:10pm-7:10pm
A teenager wishes her baby brother would be taken away, only to have her request granted by a band of goblins and their sinister king. She regrets her decision and sets out to rescue him, but to reach the castle where he is being held, she must find her way through a magical maze full of strange creatures. Jim Henson’s fantasy adventure, starring Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie.

Labyrinth Merchandise

Toy Story (1995) BBC1 5:15pm-6:30pm
A jealous string-pulled cowboy doll’s status as his owner’s favourite plaything is threatened by the arrival of a charismatic hi-tech astronaut figure, who refuses to believe he is simply a toy. However, the rivals are forced to work together when they are left stranded in the outside world. Pixar animated adventure, featuring the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Don Rickles and Jim Varney.

Toy Story Gifts

The World Is Not Enough (1999) ITV 10:50pm-1:10am (2 hours 20 minutes)
James Bond is assigned to protect the heiress of an oil dynasty after her father is killed in a bombing at MI6 headquarters. The attack is the work of an infamous terrorist who is unable to feel pain after surviving a gunshot to his head, and who now intends to destroy the world’s supply of oil. Spy adventure, starring Pierce Brosnan, Robert Carlyle, Sophie Marceau and Robbie Coltrane.

Blade (1998) ITV4 11:05pm-1:25am
A half-vampire possesses all the strengths inherent in bloodsuckers with none of their weaknesses, and is determined to wipe the monsters from the face of the Earth. However, he faces a deadly new threat in a renegade vampire who is close to decoding an ancient prophecy that will allow him to repopulate the world with his kind. Action thriller, starring Wesley Snipes, Stephen Dorff and Kris Kristofferson.

SUNDAY 20th August

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Muppets from Space
(1999) Sony Movie Channel 10:45am-12:35pm
Gonzo hits the road with pal Rizzo in tow and goes in search of his roots – only to make the amazing discovery that his parents belonged to a race of aliens. He then has to choose whether to board a UFO and return to his family, or stay with the friends he knows and loves. Family comedy, with F Murray Abraham, David Arquette, Ray Liotta, Andie MacDowell and Rob Schneider alongside the puppets

Antz (1998) Film4 1:00pm-2:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A neurotic worker ant passes himself off as a soldier to impress a princess. However, he provokes a jealously ambitious general with an accidental act of heroism – so he and his beloved decide to flee the brutal colony and go in search of the promised land of Insectopia. Animated comedy, with the voices of Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman and Sylvester Stallone.

Licence to Kill (1989) ITV 3:25pm-6:00pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
James Bond plans revenge on a drug baron who maimed his friend. However, when the British government refuses to take official action, 007 finds himself stripped of his licence to kill and forced to go it alone without the backing of MI6. Spy thriller, starring Timothy Dalton, Robert Davi, Carey Lowell, Talisa Soto and Benicio Del Toro.

James Bond Gifts

Hocus Pocus (1993) Film4 7:05pm-9:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A teenager in Salem, Massachusetts, breaks into a spooky house on Halloween and accidentally resurrects three witches who have been dead for 300 years. The sorceresses are soon causing chaos while seeking a suitable sacrifice for a ritual to give them eternal youth. However, an old foe – a boy they turned into a cat – is on hand to help stop their mischief. Supernatural Disney comedy, with Bette Midler, Sarah Jessica Parker, Kathy Najimy and Omri Katz.

Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 6:55pm-9:00pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Matilda Clothing

Midnight Run (1988) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:40pm
When accountant Jonathan Mardukas skips bail after having been arrested for embezzlement, bounty hunter Jack Walsh is hired to catch the fraudster and return him from New York to Los Angeles. Unfortunately, his task is hindered by the ingenuity of Mardukas and the attentions of pursuing FBI agents and Mafia hitmen. Comedy thriller, starring Robert De Niro, Charles Grodin, Yaphet Kotto, Dennis Farina, John Ashton and Joe Pantoliano.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, check the traffic first and remember to take a drink with you.