The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 124

Cheese and crackers! It’s time for another weekly retro movie rundown!!

Like one of the top American Football athletes of our time, let us strap and click on our protective pads as we get ready to throw long into the weekends greatest retro movies. We’ll duck and weave our way around even the biggest opponents are we run it home before posing for the moment to be forever captured and shared forever as celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

Saturday 15th November

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Escape from the Planet of the Apes (1971)
More4 11:05am-1:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Intelligent chimpanzees Cornelius and Zira escape the destruction of their planet by travelling back in time to 1970s America. Although initially treated as celebrities, the government comes to regard the pair as a threat to the human race when it transpires that Zira is pregnant. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Sal Mineo and Ricardo Montalban.

Billion Dollar Brain (1967) ITV4 1:05pm-3:15pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Former secret agent Harry Palmer comes out of retirement to take a mysterious canister to Finland, and ends up embroiled in an American megalomaniac’s bid to take over the world. Espionage thriller, directed by Ken Russell and starring Michael Caine, Oscar Homolka and Karl Malden.

The War of the Worlds (1953) Film4 3:25pm-5:10pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A meteor strike in southern California turns out to contain a deadly alien war machine that wipes out anything in its path. This machine is the vanguard of a mass invasion of aliens from Mars, who are intent on wiping out the human race and claiming Earth for themselves. Sci-fi drama, updating HG Wells’ novel to a 20th-century setting, starring Gene Barry, Ann Robinson and Les Tremayne.

Dark Star (1974) Film4 5:10pm-6:50pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A spaceship is sent on a mission to destroy unstable planets. The crew’s pet alien escapes and sets off a sentient bomb, which the astronauts have to persuade not to explode. Sci-fi comedy, the directorial debut of John Carpenter, starring Dan O’Bannon, Brian Narelle, Dre Pahich and Cal Kuniholm.

The Mask (1994) Sky Movies Comedy 6:10pm-8:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A timid bank clerk stumbles on an ancient mask, which endows whoever wears it with untold superhuman powers, unbridled self-confidence and an irresistible charm for the ladies. Unfortunately, he earns the enmity of a local gangster for daring to flirt with his girlfriend – and when the crook gets wind of the artefact’s existence, he covets the power for himself. Comic-book comedy, with Jim Carrey, Cameron Diaz, Peter Riegert and Peter Greene.

Fun Facts: The banana-yellow suit that Jim Carrey wears is based on a suit which his mother made for him for his first attempt at stand-up comedy. This was also Cameron Diaz’s first movie role!

Never Say Never Again (1983) ITV4 9:00pm-11:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
James Bond investigates the hijacking of two American nuclear warheads and tracks the stolen missiles to the Bahamas, where a sinister millionaire working for criminal organisation Spectre is planning to hold the world to ransom. Action adventure, starring Sean Connery, Klaus Maria Brandauer, Kim Basinger, Max von Sydow and Barbara Carrera.

Sunday 16th November

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The Cable Guy (1996)
Sky Movies Comedy 7:45am-9:25am (1 hour 40 minutes)
A man makes the mistake of engaging a cable TV installer in conversation in a ploy to get all the channels for free. However, the manic repairman shows an invincible determination to be his new best friend – and does not take kindly to rejection. Comedy directed by Ben Stiller, starring Jim Carrey, Matthew Broderick and George Segal.

Big Trouble in Little China (1986) Sky Movies Aliens 9:30am-11:15am (1 hour 45 minutes)
A dim-witted and fearless trucker goes in search of his friend’s kidnapped fiancee in San Francisco’s Chinatown. He blunders into a supernatural world ruled by a powerful ghostly sorcerer, who needs the captured woman so he can rejoin the land of the living. Comedy fantasy adventure, starring Kurt Russell, Dennis Dun, Kim Cattrall, James Hong and Victor Wong.

Gremlins (1984) Sky Movies Greats 12:00pm-1:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A teenager is given a strange, cute creature as a Christmas present by his eccentric father and warned to keep it away from water, not to feed it after midnight, or expose it to direct light. However, a chance dousing causes the furball to spawn a horde of murderous little monsters, and their devilish antics bring mayhem to a small town. Comedy horror, with Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, Hoyt Axton and Polly Holliday.

Titanic (1997) Film4 3:20pm-7:05pm (3 hours 45 minutes)
A party of explorers studying the sunken remains of the famous liner meets an elderly woman who was a passenger on the ill-fated maiden voyage. She recounts how she boarded the ship while on the brink of being forced into marriage by her family, and was stopped from killing herself by a penniless artist. She fell in love with her saviour, but the disaster on the horizon meant their time together was doomed to be short. James Cameron’s Oscar-winning romantic drama, starring Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates and Bill Paxton.

Fun Fact: The movie’s line “I’m the king of the world!” was ad-libbed by DiCaprio and was later was voted as #4 of “The 100 Greatest Movie Lines” by Premiere in 2007. The same was voted as the #100 movie quote by the American Film Institute (out of 100).

Dumb and Dumber (1994) Channel 5 5:25pm-7:30pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Dimwitted Rhode Island limousine driver Lloyd Christmas and his equally vacuous friend Harry Dunne embark on a disaster-fraught cross-country trip to Aspen, where they hope to reunite a briefcase with its female owner. However, the pair are unaware the case contains a $1million ransom they would have been better leaving well alone. Farrelly brothers comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels, Lauren Holly, Teri Garr and Mike Starr.

Face/Off (1997) BBC3 11:15pm-1:25am (2 hours 10 minutes)
FBI agent Sean Archer captures terrorist Castor Troy, the man who killed his son. While Troy is in a coma, Archer has the crook’s face surgically grafted onto his own so he can go undercover and locate a bomb planted somewhere in Los Angeles. But then Troy regains consciousness – and in turn takes on Archer’s identity. John Woo’s action thriller, starring Nicolas Cage, John Travolta, Joan Allen, Gina Gershon and Dominique Swain.

Conan the Barbarian (1982) Film4 11:05pm-1:40am (2 hours 35 minutes)
A child who grows up in slavery becomes a formidable warrior and a cunning thief. Taken prisoner by a victorious king, he is sent out to destroy the leader of the barbaric cult that destroyed his village and slaughtered his family. Fantasy adventure, based on the stories by author Robert E Howard, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Max von Sydow, James Earl Jones and Sandahl Bergman.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you stop, look and listen and start from the outside in.
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 93

Thar she blows! It can only be the Weekend!

So like a mid eighteenth century Whaling vessel let us be your sea hardened, weather beaten, bearded captain with a stern but fair persona. As we sail hard heartedly across vast oceans of retro movie mayhem, we’ll peer one eyed through our brass telescope for the elusive humped back of cinematic greatness before we thrust our long and rusty harpoons into the salty meaty flesh of celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 5th APRIL

Crocodile Dundee (1986) Film4 1:00 pm-2:50 pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A New York reporter searches the Australian Outback for a maverick hunter with a legendary reputation, and invites the adventurer back to America. But the die-hard Aussie needs to draw on all his survival skills to adjust to life in the urban jungle. Comedy adventure, written by and starring Paul Hogan, with Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Mark Blum. Edited for daytime broadcast.

Twins (1988) ITV London 12:30 pm-2:30 pm (2 hours )
An unlikely pair of brothers, who were born as the result of a one-off genetic experiment and separated at birth, are reunited in adulthood. They set out on a cross-country search for their unknown mother – fending off vicious loan sharks and a professional assassin along the way. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Kelly Preston and Chloe Webb.

Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986) 5* 3:15 pm-4:55 pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Facing closure from cutbacks in public spending and competition from a more successful academy, the police training school calls on its bungling graduates to act as instructors and make good officers out of a bunch of new recruits even more incompetent than they are. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow and Art Metrano.

There’s Something About Mary (1998) E4 9:00 pm-11:25 pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A lovelorn man hires a sleazy private eye to track down his high-school sweetheart in the hope of rekindling their brief relationship. By unfortunate coincidence, the detective also falls for her, and then it emerges there are even more men out there competing for her affections. Comedy from the Farrelly brothers, starring Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon and Lee Evans.

SUNDAY 6th APRIL

The Jewel of the Nile (1985) Sky2 11:45 am-2:00 pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A novelist travels to the Middle East to become a sheik’s official biographer, only to end up being held hostage by him. Her lover joins forces with an old enemy to rescue her, but they get drawn into the hunt for a mysterious ancient treasure that has a connection to an eccentric holy man. Comedy adventure sequel to Romancing the Stone, starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito

Casper (1995) ITV2 1:30 pm-3:35 pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A paranormal expert moves into a haunted house where his daughter befriends the amiable ghost of a young boy – but things start to go awry when three smelly spooks and two dastardly crooks try to chase the new residents away. Family comedy, starring Christina Ricci, Bill Pullman, Eric Idle, Cathy Moriarty and featuring the voice of Malachi Pearson.

Hairspray (2007) Channel 4 3:25 pm-5:40 pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Musical remake of the comedy about Tracy, an overweight teenager in 1960s Baltimore, who dreams of appearing on a TV dance show. However, a jealous rival and her scheming mother are determined to destroy her ambition – especially when Tracy tries to fight racism in the community. Starring Nikki Blonsky, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, James Marsden, Queen Latifah and John Travolta in drag as the heroine’s mother.

Die Hard 2 (1990) Film4 9:00 pm-11:20 pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

Whatever you get up to this Weekend remember check behind your ears for spuds and all ways enjoy yourselves.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 63!

Jeepers Peepers! It’s weekend time once more.

So on a tropical beach beneath the bright yellow sun, gently shaded by a plume of palm trees, lent against a ramshackle Tiki bar made from bamboo, decorated with Mayan figurines and coconuts let us be your Sunkist Hawaiian shirted bar keep as we mix for you a brightly coloured fruity cocktail of mega cinematic greatness, with a zesty after taste of retro movie awesomeness and a  tiny squeeze of celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 27th July

The Goonies (1985) GOLD 12:00pm-2:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Seven youngsters uncover an old map and set out on the adventure of a lifetime to save their homes from a land developer by finding a legendary pirate’s hidden treasure. However, they first have to navigate a series of booby-trapped underground caverns and outwit a family of crooks also after the loot. Children’s adventure, starring Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin and Martha Plimpton

Ladies Goonies Never Say Die T-Shirt from TruffleShuffle
Ladies Goonies Never Say Die T-Shirt

Goonies Hey You Guys Mug
Goonies Hey You Guys Mug

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) ITV London 3:05pm-6:00pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
The young wizard and his friends return for their second term at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to discover a strange serpentine power is petrifying the other students. Meanwhile, Harry is haunted by a sinister voice in his head urging him to uncover the dark force that is stalking the corridors of the school. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Kenneth Branagh

Ladies Grey Harry Potter Gryffindor Team Quidditch T-Shirt
Ladies Grey Harry Potter Gryffindor Team Quidditch T-Shirt

Men's Harry Potter Hogwarts Crest T-Shirt from TruffleShuffle
Men's Harry Potter Hogwarts Crest T-Shirt from TruffleShuffle

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) BBC1 London 7:00pm-8:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The intrepid archaeologist, with his young sidekick and a nightclub singer in tow, is stranded in India, where he takes on a mission to recover magical sacred stones from the hands of an evil cult engaged in human sacrifice and child slavery. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, starring Harrison Ford

There’s Something About Mary (1998) E4 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A lovelorn man hires a sleazy private eye to track down his high-school sweetheart in the hope of rekindling their brief relationship. By unfortunate coincidence, the detective also falls for her, and then it emerges there are even more men out there competing for her affections. Comedy from the Farrelly brothers, starring Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon and Lee Evans

SUNDAY 28th July

Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot (1992) Channel 5 2:55pm-4:40pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A tough Los Angeles cop receives a visit from his overprotective mother. Not content with tidying his home and meddling in his love life, she joins him on duty to rid the streets of crime after witnessing a murder. Comedy, starring Sylvester Stallone, Estelle Getty, JoBeth Williams, Roger Rees and Martin Ferrero. Edited for daytime broadcast

Legend (1985) Film4 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A peasant boy, who has a special bond with animals and fairies, shows his sweetheart the last surviving unicorns. Unfortunately, a monstrous demon and his goblin henchmen despise the mythical creatures and trick the girl into harming one of them, forcing Jack to act quickly to save her immortal soul. Ridley Scott’s fantasy adventure, starring Tom Cruise, Mia Sara, Tim Curry and David Bennent

WALL.E (2008) BBC3 8:30pm-10:00pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
In the far future, waste collection robot WALL.E is the only unit left to clean up a desolate and dilapidated Earth. But when a survey droid arrives to search for any signs of life, WALL.E is lovestruck and hitches a ride on the spaceship sent to collect her, embarking on a journey that could determine the future of the human race. Pixar animated sci-fi adventure, with the voices of Ben Burtt, Elissa Knight, Jeff Garlin, Fred Willard and Sigourney Weaver

Superbad (2007) Comedy Central 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Two teenage friends are on the brink of going to different colleges, so decide to mark the event by going to a party where they hope to lose their virginity. However, they have promised to supply the booze for the event, a task that proves much harder than expected because they are under age. Unfortunately, when a friend steps in to help, the situation gets even worse. Comedy, starring Jonah Hill, Michael Cera and Christopher Mintz-Plasse

Piff Paff Poof! It’s bonus movie clip time. A little Mclovin to get you in the mood.
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Whatever you get up to this weekend remember never poke the tiger and always enjoy yourselves.

The weekly retro movie rundown 3!

Welcome one and all to this weeks retro weekend movie rundown. Do we have some classics for you this week?! 8 movies that span a generation, from Saturday it’s all about angry cops and toilet humour and on Sunday it’s about getting in touch with your inner child and reminiscing. So grab some munchies, relax, peel your eyes open and enjoy!Have a happy retro weekend 🙂

SATURDAY 5th MAY

Die Hard (1988) Channel 4 9:30pm-12:10am (2 hours 40 minutes)
New York cop John McClane is in LA to visit his wife and kids over the Christmas holiday. Stopping off at his wife’s place of work, he realises armed men have hijacked the building and are holding the corporation’s staff to ransom – and only he has the ability to fight back. Action thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and Bonnie Bedelia.

Tango & Cash (1989) ITV4 9:30pm-11:35pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Two rival LA detectives are constant thorns in the side of a ruthless drug baron, so he has them framed for murder and sent to prison. Surrounded by vengeful crooks they put behind bars, the combative duo are forced to bury their differences to escape and prove their innocence. Action adventure, with Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell, Teri Hatcher and Jack Palance.

National Lampoon’s Animal House (1978) ITV4 11:35pm-1:45am (2 hours 10 minutes)
A college’s most slobbish and unruly student fraternity faces expulsion for upsetting the rigid social order of the campus, so its madcap members plan one final act of rebellion against the college dean and a preppy bunch of snobbish bullies at the annual university homecoming parade. Comedy, starring John Belushi, Tim Matheson, Donald Sutherland, Karen Allen and Tom Hulce.

There’s Something About Mary (1998) E4 9:30pm-11:55pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A lovelorn man who has never forgotten about his high-school sweetheart Mary since their one disastrous date, hires a sleazy private eye to track her down. By unfortunate coincidence, the detective also falls for her, and then it emerges there are even more men out there competing for her affections. Comedy from the Farrelly brothers, starring Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon and Lee Evans.

SUNDAY 6th MAY

Big (1988) Channel 4 4:35pm-6:30pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his childlike brain and emotions to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Men in Black (1997) Channel 4 7:05pm-9:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.

Hook (1991) Comedy Central 4:20pm-7:00pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Jumanji (1995) Watch 5:45pm-7:50pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A man who has been trapped inside a mysterious jungle board game for 26 years is eventually freed when two children start to play it. Unfortunately, he arrives with a rampaging horde of animals on his heels, leaving only one solution – to finish the game he started all those years ago. Fantasy adventure, starring Robin Williams, Kirsten Dunst and Bonnie Hunt.

We hope this helps you plan your weekend’s viewing folks, same time next week!

xoxo

Movie Release – The Green Hornet

Yet another retro revival hits our cinema screens this week but although box office forecasters are predicting big things for The Green Hornet, the critics seem to be swatting it from every direction. Uh oh! In advance of our TruffleShuffle outing to see this movie this week, we look at what some of the experts are saying about the Superhero action comedy remake…

The premise of the movie is loosely based on that of the original which centred on the smart and rich newspaper publisher, Britt Reed, who turned masked vigilante with help from his Asian manservant Kato. This time though, the publisher is a bumbling, immature party animal (played by Seth Rogen) who inherits his father’s empire and newspaper when he suddenly dies from a bee sting but then doesn’t know what to do with it. Kato (played by Jay Chou) meanwhile, is no manservant. He’s a mechanical and engineering genius, martial arts warrior, piano-prodigy, weapons expert and coffee-making artiste. Together, they decide to protect the citizens of L.A. by becoming good guys pretending to be bad guys who fight crime without badges and it’s all in 3d too!Directed by Michel Gondry (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind,) it’s already managed to flit to the top of the US box office, earning $34 million in this, it’s opening weekend. Plenty enough to score the number one spot and to fight off competition from the new Ron Howard/Vince Vaughn combo, The Dilemma.

To be honest – we had pretty high hopes for this one but from the sounds of some of the reviews below, we might just be disappointed! We’ll reserve our judgement until we’ve seen it in action but in the meantime, here’s what the experts are saying….

NME – 4 OUT OF 10
The problem with the new film is the titular character himself; Hornet was always a bumbling douchebag compared with DC and Marvel’s sleek elite, and while Rogan’s resume means he has the comedy chops to portray such a character, the age the film is being released into means there’s something heavy footed and dated about the green one’s japes – tonally it’s perhaps akin to the aforementioned Nolan casting Adam West in place of Christian Bale.

Despite an impressive cast of players – Michael Gondry behind the camera, Inglourious Basterds’ Chistoph Waltz the villain in front – the sum of such talents only succeeds in making a film out-of-step with the times; Kick-Ass did comedy sharper, Watchmen more adult, there’s even gags in The Dark Knight if you scrape off the grime. What The Green Hornet does better than all these films is making superheroes uncool – and there’s nothing that’s even a bit super about that.’

READ MORE… http://www.nme.com/movies/reviews/movie-review-the-green-hornet/11787

The Guardian – 2 OUT OF 5

Almost everything about the film is disappointing. Christoph Waltz is under-par as the villain with nothing like the steely charisma of his Nazi in Inglourious Basterds. The “amateur superhero” stuff looks very similar to Kick-Ass and the idea of the lonely plutocrat with the dishy female personal assistant – played in this case by Cameron Diaz – has been done in Iron Man.

This hornet has had its sting removed

READ MORE… http://www.guardian.co.uk/film/2011/jan/13/the-green-hornet-review

Total Film  – 3 OUT OF 5

Hornet may not be the bee’s knees, but it’s no bumble either.

Though tonally uneven, Hornet nonetheless works as breezy, irreverent entertainment that makes a virtue of its unlikely elements. And there’s the added buzz of James Franco’s cameo.


The Telegraph –

Rogen co-wrote the script with Evan Goldberg, his collaborator on Pineapple Express, and it has about the same ratio of genuine laughs to bum ones, floating on a sea of scrappily under-motivated, ain’t-it-cool shenanigans.

The movie is interspersed with soullessly snazzy slow-mo fight sequences — you suspect Gondry scuttled off for these and got a crêpe.

I’ll be fair. Just occasionally, something Gondry-esque and eye-catching does occur, such as when the front half of the heroes’ pimpmobile charges around a high-storey newsroom, sending paper flying.

You can vaguely see what attracted him to the whole lark, while still wondering where they locked up his imagination, and when we’re allowed to ask for the keys.

Read more http://www.telegraph.co.uk/culture/film/filmreviews/8258029/The-Green-Hornet-review.html

Hmmm – sounds like we might be crying with disappointment into our popcorn come movie night! Have any of you guys seen it yet? Would you disagree with the reviewers? We’re hoping so!

xoxo