The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 93

Thar she blows! It can only be the Weekend!

So like a mid eighteenth century Whaling vessel let us be your sea hardened, weather beaten, bearded captain with a stern but fair persona. As we sail hard heartedly across vast oceans of retro movie mayhem, we’ll peer one eyed through our brass telescope for the elusive humped back of cinematic greatness before we thrust our long and rusty harpoons into the salty meaty flesh of celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 5th APRIL

Crocodile Dundee (1986) Film4 1:00 pm-2:50 pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A New York reporter searches the Australian Outback for a maverick hunter with a legendary reputation, and invites the adventurer back to America. But the die-hard Aussie needs to draw on all his survival skills to adjust to life in the urban jungle. Comedy adventure, written by and starring Paul Hogan, with Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Mark Blum. Edited for daytime broadcast.

Twins (1988) ITV London 12:30 pm-2:30 pm (2 hours )
An unlikely pair of brothers, who were born as the result of a one-off genetic experiment and separated at birth, are reunited in adulthood. They set out on a cross-country search for their unknown mother – fending off vicious loan sharks and a professional assassin along the way. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Kelly Preston and Chloe Webb.

Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986) 5* 3:15 pm-4:55 pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Facing closure from cutbacks in public spending and competition from a more successful academy, the police training school calls on its bungling graduates to act as instructors and make good officers out of a bunch of new recruits even more incompetent than they are. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow and Art Metrano.

There’s Something About Mary (1998) E4 9:00 pm-11:25 pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A lovelorn man hires a sleazy private eye to track down his high-school sweetheart in the hope of rekindling their brief relationship. By unfortunate coincidence, the detective also falls for her, and then it emerges there are even more men out there competing for her affections. Comedy from the Farrelly brothers, starring Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon and Lee Evans.

SUNDAY 6th APRIL

The Jewel of the Nile (1985) Sky2 11:45 am-2:00 pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A novelist travels to the Middle East to become a sheik’s official biographer, only to end up being held hostage by him. Her lover joins forces with an old enemy to rescue her, but they get drawn into the hunt for a mysterious ancient treasure that has a connection to an eccentric holy man. Comedy adventure sequel to Romancing the Stone, starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito

Casper (1995) ITV2 1:30 pm-3:35 pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A paranormal expert moves into a haunted house where his daughter befriends the amiable ghost of a young boy – but things start to go awry when three smelly spooks and two dastardly crooks try to chase the new residents away. Family comedy, starring Christina Ricci, Bill Pullman, Eric Idle, Cathy Moriarty and featuring the voice of Malachi Pearson.

Hairspray (2007) Channel 4 3:25 pm-5:40 pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Musical remake of the comedy about Tracy, an overweight teenager in 1960s Baltimore, who dreams of appearing on a TV dance show. However, a jealous rival and her scheming mother are determined to destroy her ambition – especially when Tracy tries to fight racism in the community. Starring Nikki Blonsky, Michelle Pfeiffer, Christopher Walken, James Marsden, Queen Latifah and John Travolta in drag as the heroine’s mother.

Die Hard 2 (1990) Film4 9:00 pm-11:20 pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

Whatever you get up to this Weekend remember check behind your ears for spuds and all ways enjoy yourselves.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 73!

Curse of a gypsy Queen! It has to be the weekend!

So like a traditionally crafted wooden marionette delicately dangling inside a handmade cardboard stage decorated by crayon, glitter and glue let us be your master manipulator as we attempt to pull the correct strings for mega movie greatness, we’ll attempt to make you dance for cinematic awesomeness before bowing down to celluloid glory.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 26th October

Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002) ITV London 3:00pm-5:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi and apprentice Anakin Skywalker are sent to protect Senator Padme Amidala from an assassin. However, as galactic civil war threatens to erupt, the pair are forced to split their efforts, leading Anakin into an ill-advised romance and the beginnings of a journey toward the dark side. George Lucas’s second prequel to the original sci-fi trilogy, starring Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman and Christopher Lee

Mens Grey Marl Star Wars Rollercoaster TShirt
Mens Grey Marl Star Wars Rollercoaster TShirt

Men's Black Darth Vader Barbers Shop Star Wars T-Shirt
Men's Black Darth Vader Barbers Shop Star Wars T-Shirt

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) Sky1 9:00pm-10:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
An American householder is dismayed when his plans for a traditional festive family holiday are thrown into complete disarray by a succession of annoying neighbours and long-lost relatives, who turn up on his doorstep offering their own brand of Christmas cheer. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, Diane Ladd, Juliette Lewis, Miriam Flynn, Johnny Galecki and William Hickey

Die Hard 2 (1990) Channel 4 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton

Beverly Hills Cop II (1987) Channel 4 11:20pm-1:20am (2 hours)
Wisecracking Detroit detective Axel Foley returns to Los Angeles to investigate a spate of violent robberies, but gets more than he bargained for when he finds himself up against an arms dealer who uses a glamorous hit-woman to do his dirty work. Comedy thriller sequel, with Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, John Ashton, Ronny Cox and Brigitte Nielsen

SUNDAY 27th October

Casper (1995) ITV2 4:25pm-6:25pm (2 hours)
A paranormal expert moves into a haunted house where his daughter befriends the amiable ghost of a young boy – but things start to go awry when three smelly spooks and two dastardly crooks try to chase the new residents away. Family comedy, starring Christina Ricci, Bill Pullman, Eric Idle, Cathy Moriarty and featuring the voice of Malachi Pearson.

The NeverEnding Story (1984) Watch 5:10pm-7:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A lonely boy, neglected by his father and bullied at school, finds comfort in a mysterious book about a young hero’s quest to save his world from destruction. However, as he reads the tale, he begins to become part of the story. Fantasy adventure based on Michael Edne’s novel, starring Barret Oliver, Noah Hathaway, Gerald McRaney, Moses Gunn and Patricia Hayes

The ‘Burbs (1989) ITV4 6:00pm-8:00pm (2 hours)
The arrival of secretive neighbours sparks an unhealthy curiosity in a group of friends, leading them to go to bizarre lengths to discover the truth about the newcomers. However, their investigations take an even weirder twist when they begin to suspect their unseen fellow suburbanites are part of a cannibalistic cult. Joe Dante’s black comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher, Corey Feldman and Henry Gibson.

Ghostbusters (1984) Channel 5 6:55pm-8:55pm (2 hours)
Three eccentric scientists put their hi-tech gadgetry and knowledge of the paranormal to money-making use by setting up in business as freelance ghost catchers. A musician calls them in to investigate when she sees strange creatures in her kitchen, only to end up possessed. As the spook-hunting team members deal with an attempt to shut their operation down, they discover an evil demonic entity is being summoned into existence and it falls to them to stop this creature from destroying the world. Supernatural comedy adventure, starring Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Sigourney Weaver, Ernie Hudson and Rick Moranis.

Ladies Grey Marl Ghostbusters Logo Vest
Ladies Grey Marl Ghostbusters Logo Vest

Men's Dark Grey Marble Wash Who Ya Gonna Call Ghostbusters T-Shirt
Men's Dark Grey Who Ya Gonna Call Ghostbusters T-Shirt

Whip Crackalaka! Bonus movie clip time this week a little something from Axel Foley

[lyte id=”r-zlkOg6_Zw” /]

Whatever you get up to this weekend, remember to never go swimming straight after eating and always enjoy yourselves.
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 26!

Guy Fawkes’ pointy beard!….is it movie time again?

So like a huddled mass of excited youths gathered around an inflamed bonfire put together with pieces of old wooden furniture and tree branches let us be your crudely stuffed “Guy” made from your poor old man’s pyjamas our smouldering paper mache head tilting awkwardly toward the heavens as we stand in awe and anticipate the explosive, retroactive cinematic magic.

Have happy retro weekend 🙂

SATURDAY 3rd NOVEMBER

Star Wars: Episode V – The Empire Strikes Back (1980) ITV1 London 3:15pm-5:35pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
The rebels are scattered across the galaxy after forces of the evil Empire launch a devastating attack on their secret base. Luke Skywalker searches out a Jedi master to complete his training, while Han Solo and Princess Leia are relentlessly pursued by Darth Vader’s space fleet. Sci-fi adventure sequel, with Harrison Ford, Mark Hamill, Carrie Fisher, Billy Dee Williams, Alec Guinness and David Prowse.

Men's Black Star Wars Yoda Step Brothers T-Shirt £27.99
Men's Black Star Wars Yoda Step Brothers T-Shirt £27.99

Muppets from Space (1999) 5* 3:20pm-5:05pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Gonzo hits the road with pal Rizzo in tow and goes in search of his roots – only to make the amazing discovery that his parents belonged to a race of aliens. He then has to choose whether to board a UFO and return to his family, or stay with the friends he knows and loves. Family comedy, with F Murray Abraham, David Arquette, Ray Liotta, Andie MacDowell and Rob Schneider alongside the puppets.

Casper (1995) Sky Movies Family 2:40pm-4:25pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A paranormal expert moves into a haunted house where his daughter befriends the amiable ghost of a young boy – but things start to go awry when three smelly spooks and two dastardly crooks try to chase the new residents away. Family comedy, starring Christina Ricci, Malachi Pearson, Bill Pullman, Eric Idle, Cathy Moriarty and Dan Aykroyd.

Ladies Black Casper The Friendly Ghost T-Shirt £19.99 (also available for men!)
Ladies Black Casper The Friendly Ghost T-Shirt £19.99 (also available for men!)

Heathers (1989) 5* 9:50pm-12:00am (2 hours 10 minutes)
A teenager joins a clique at the top of her school’s social hierarchy, but finds she cannot stand her new friends. Her rebellious boyfriend draws her into murdering her hated classmates and making it look like they killed themselves – but neither of them are prepared for the public hysteria prompted by their town’s apparent wave of teen suicides. Black comedy, with Winona Ryder and Christian Slater.

SUNDAY 4th NOVEMBER

Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991) Film4 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Captain Kirk is framed for the assassination of the Klingon head of state just as the Federation is about to make peace with their old enemies. As Kirk and Dr McCoy are banished to an icy prison planet, Spock tries to uncover the identity of the real killers. Sci-fi adventure sequel, with William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley, Christopher Plummer, with appearances by Christian Slater and Michael Dorn from Star Trek: The Next Generation.

Men's Star Trek Spock Dressing Gown £39.99
Men's Star Trek Spock Dressing Gown £39.99

Close Encounters of the Third Kind: The Director’s Cut (1977) Channel 5 2:45pm-5:20pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
An electrical repairman sees a fleet of UFOs flying overhead and afterwards becomes obsessed with images of a mountain, driving his wife to despair. Meanwhile, a woman develops a similar fixation after her son vanishes, and a team of scientists investigates a series of strange events around the world – until they are all drawn to Devil’s Tower in Wyoming, where the aliens are about to make contact. Alternate cut of Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi drama, with Richard Dreyfuss, Francois Truffaut and Teri Garr.

Three Men and a Baby (1987) E4 8:00pm-10:00pm (2 hours)
The lives of three flat-sharing bachelors are turned upside down when they discover a baby left on their doorstep. Unfortunately, while trying to get to grips with the necessary parenting skills, they find themselves menaced by criminals searching for missing drugs. Comedy, directed by Leonard Nimoy, starring Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, Steve Guttenberg and Nancy Travis.

Scary Movie 2 (2001) Channel 4 11:40pm-1:10am (1 hour 30 minutes)
Teenage survivors of an encounter with a ghost-faced killer end up in college and try to forget the trauma of earlier events – but fate takes a hand when an eccentric college professor bribes them to stay in a haunted house in return for A-grades. Spoof horror sequel, starring Marlon and Shawn Wayans, Anna Faris and Tim Curry.

It’s looking like a nice weekend after all, whatever you get up to, play nice and remember remember the 5th of November, Gunpowder treason and plot. I see no reason why gunpowder treason should ever be forgot.

Wear mittens you wouldn’t want to burn your fingers!

cheerio.