Christopher Jingle Bells Cringle! It has to be the weekend!
So like Santa Clause getting stuck down the chimney on a festive Christmas eve, after a few too many mince pies. Let us be your ever helpful, mischievous, little Elves as we try and prise you free with our hefty stick of mega movie magic, we’ll try pull you out with our lasso of cinematic awsomeness before we watch you crash to the floor in puff of soot as we stand around and giggle with celluloid wonder.
Have a happy retro weekend!
SATURDAY 20th DECEMBER
National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) Sky Movies Comedy 10:50am-12:35pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An American householder is dismayed when his plans for a traditional festive family holiday are thrown into complete disarray by a succession of annoying neighbours and long-lost relatives, who turn up on his doorstep offering their own brand of Christmas cheer. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, Diane Ladd, Juliette Lewis, Miriam Flynn, Johnny Galecki and William Hickey..
Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992) Film4 1:00pm-2:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A scientist perfects a device for making objects grow when they come into contact with electricity. Unfortunately, his two-year-old son is accidentally turned into a giant and goes on the rampage through the streets of Las Vegas. Disney comedy sequel, starring Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman, Robert Oliveri and Lloyd Bridges.
Teen Wolf Too (1987) 5* 3:10pm-5:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A teenager from a family of werewolves hopes he will not succumb to the family curse. He enrols into college on an athletic scholarship despite having no talent for sports, and soon undergoes his first transformation. However, he finds his animal nature has its advantages – including becoming a champion boxer. Comedy sequel, starring Jason Bateman, Kim Darby and John Astin.
Bean (1997) Sky Movies Comedy 2:35pm-4:15pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The hapless fool is employed as a security guard for a British art gallery and is sent to Los Angeles to bring back a famous painting. Unfortunately, he finds himself mistaken for a renowned art professor and invited to make an important presentation. Mel Smith’s British comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Burt Reynolds, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Peter Capaldi and June Brown.
Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) ITV2 5:10pm-7:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, tires of being scary and decides to take over the friendly world of Christmas. After kidnapping Santa, he prepares to take his place and do Christmas in his own ghoulish way. Stop-motion animated fantasy, with the voices of Chris Sarandon, Catherine O’Hara and Paul Reubens, and a musical score by Danny Elfman.
Scrooge (1970) Channel 5 7:55pm-10:10pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Hard-hearted Victorian miser Ebenezer Scrooge refuses to join in with the spirit of the festive season – until a succession of spectral visitors turn up to teach him the error of his ways. Musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic A Christmas Carol, starring Albert Finney, Alec Guinness, Kenneth More, Edith Evans and Paddy Stone.
Predator (1987) Sky1 10:00pm-12:05am (2 hours 5 minutes)
An elite military team on a top-secret mission in the jungles of Central America encounters a merciless alien hunter, which starts to pick the commandos off one by one. Sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, Bill Duke, Sonny Landham, Jesse Ventura and Shane Black.
SUNDAY 21st DECEMBER
Die Hard (1988) Sky Movies Action & Adventure 9:55am-12:10pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
New York cop John McClane visits Los Angeles to see his family over the Christmas holiday. Stopping off at his wife’s place of work, he realises armed men have taken over the building and are holding the corporation’s staff to ransom – and only he has the ability to fight back. Action thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and Bonnie Bedelia.
Fun Fact: The scene where McClane falls down a shaft was a mistake by the stuntman, who was supposed to grab the first vent, as it originally was planned. He slipped and continued to fall, but the shot was used anyway; it was edited together with one where McClane grabs the next vent down as he falls.
The Fox and the Hound (1981) Sky Movies Family 10:50am-12:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An orphaned fox cub is taken in by a kindly widow, and becomes firm friends with a puppy belonging to a hunter. However, as they grow to adulthood, the dog is trained to prey on foxes, and the two animals realise their friendship may not survive as they are expected to be natural enemies. Animated adventure, with the voices of Mickey Rooney and Kurt Russell.
It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (2002) Channel 5 12:40pm-2:25pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Kermit and his friends battle to save their beloved theatre from bankruptcy and the schemes of a grasping banker, but the hopeless situation proves too much for the stout-hearted frog. Luckily, a trainee angel intervenes and shows him why his efforts are so important for all concerned. Festive comedy, featuring appearances from Joan Cusack, Whoopi Goldberg, David Arquette, Matthew Lillard and William H Macy.
Bugsy Malone (1976) Channel 4 4:10pm-6:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Category: Musical Rating 6.1 Alan Parker’s slapstick musical comedy, featuring a cast composed entirely of children and following a war between rival gangsters in 1920s New York – fought with custard pies and cream-firing Tommy guns. When a slick mobster acquires devastating new weapons, his arch rival enlists the aid of a small-time chancer to steal them. Starring Scott Baio, Florrie Dugger and John Cassisi, with Jodie Foster in an early appearance.
Casper (1995) ITV London 4:45pm-6:35pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A paranormal expert moves into a haunted house where his daughter befriends the amiable ghost of a young boy – but things start to go awry when three smelly spooks and two dastardly crooks try to chase the new residents away. Family comedy, starring Christina Ricci, Bill Pullman, Eric Idle, Cathy Moriarty and featuring the voice of Malachi Pearson.
Fun Fact: Casper was the first feature film with a computer-animated main character.
The Holiday (2006) ITV2 9:00pm-11:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
Two single women living on opposite sides of the Atlantic agree to exchange houses over the Christmas holidays. In their new surroundings, both women unexpectedly encounter prospective partners, but as the house swap draws to a close, difficult decisions have to be made about their blossoming relationships. Romantic comedy, starring Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jack Black, Jude Law and Eli Wallach.
So there they are folks! Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember, there is no such thing as too much tinsel.