The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 129

Christopher Jingle Bells Cringle! It has to be the weekend!
So like Santa Clause getting stuck down the chimney on a festive Christmas eve, after a few too many mince pies. Let us be your ever helpful, mischievous, little Elves as we try and prise you free with our hefty stick of mega movie magic, we’ll try pull you out with our lasso of cinematic awsomeness before we watch you crash to the floor in puff of soot as we stand around and giggle with celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 20th DECEMBER

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) Sky Movies Comedy 10:50am-12:35pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An American householder is dismayed when his plans for a traditional festive family holiday are thrown into complete disarray by a succession of annoying neighbours and long-lost relatives, who turn up on his doorstep offering their own brand of Christmas cheer. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, Diane Ladd, Juliette Lewis, Miriam Flynn, Johnny Galecki and William Hickey..

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992) Film4 1:00pm-2:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A scientist perfects a device for making objects grow when they come into contact with electricity. Unfortunately, his two-year-old son is accidentally turned into a giant and goes on the rampage through the streets of Las Vegas. Disney comedy sequel, starring Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman, Robert Oliveri and Lloyd Bridges.

Teen Wolf Too (1987) 5* 3:10pm-5:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A teenager from a family of werewolves hopes he will not succumb to the family curse. He enrols into college on an athletic scholarship despite having no talent for sports, and soon undergoes his first transformation. However, he finds his animal nature has its advantages – including becoming a champion boxer. Comedy sequel, starring Jason Bateman, Kim Darby and John Astin.

Bean (1997) Sky Movies Comedy 2:35pm-4:15pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The hapless fool is employed as a security guard for a British art gallery and is sent to Los Angeles to bring back a famous painting. Unfortunately, he finds himself mistaken for a renowned art professor and invited to make an important presentation. Mel Smith’s British comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Burt Reynolds, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Peter Capaldi and June Brown.

Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) ITV2 5:10pm-7:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, tires of being scary and decides to take over the friendly world of Christmas. After kidnapping Santa, he prepares to take his place and do Christmas in his own ghoulish way. Stop-motion animated fantasy, with the voices of Chris Sarandon, Catherine O’Hara and Paul Reubens, and a musical score by Danny Elfman.

Scrooge (1970) Channel 5 7:55pm-10:10pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Hard-hearted Victorian miser Ebenezer Scrooge refuses to join in with the spirit of the festive season – until a succession of spectral visitors turn up to teach him the error of his ways. Musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic A Christmas Carol, starring Albert Finney, Alec Guinness, Kenneth More, Edith Evans and Paddy Stone.

Predator (1987) Sky1 10:00pm-12:05am (2 hours 5 minutes)
An elite military team on a top-secret mission in the jungles of Central America encounters a merciless alien hunter, which starts to pick the commandos off one by one. Sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers, Bill Duke, Sonny Landham, Jesse Ventura and Shane Black.

SUNDAY 21st DECEMBER

Die Hard (1988) Sky Movies Action & Adventure 9:55am-12:10pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
New York cop John McClane visits Los Angeles to see his family over the Christmas holiday. Stopping off at his wife’s place of work, he realises armed men have taken over the building and are holding the corporation’s staff to ransom – and only he has the ability to fight back. Action thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and Bonnie Bedelia.

Fun Fact: The scene where McClane falls down a shaft was a mistake by the stuntman, who was supposed to grab the first vent, as it originally was planned. He slipped and continued to fall, but the shot was used anyway; it was edited together with one where McClane grabs the next vent down as he falls.

The Fox and the Hound (1981) Sky Movies Family 10:50am-12:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An orphaned fox cub is taken in by a kindly widow, and becomes firm friends with a puppy belonging to a hunter. However, as they grow to adulthood, the dog is trained to prey on foxes, and the two animals realise their friendship may not survive as they are expected to be natural enemies. Animated adventure, with the voices of Mickey Rooney and Kurt Russell.

It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie (2002) Channel 5 12:40pm-2:25pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Kermit and his friends battle to save their beloved theatre from bankruptcy and the schemes of a grasping banker, but the hopeless situation proves too much for the stout-hearted frog. Luckily, a trainee angel intervenes and shows him why his efforts are so important for all concerned. Festive comedy, featuring appearances from Joan Cusack, Whoopi Goldberg, David Arquette, Matthew Lillard and William H Macy.

Bugsy Malone (1976) Channel 4 4:10pm-6:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Category: Musical Rating 6.1 Alan Parker’s slapstick musical comedy, featuring a cast composed entirely of children and following a war between rival gangsters in 1920s New York – fought with custard pies and cream-firing Tommy guns. When a slick mobster acquires devastating new weapons, his arch rival enlists the aid of a small-time chancer to steal them. Starring Scott Baio, Florrie Dugger and John Cassisi, with Jodie Foster in an early appearance.

Casper (1995) ITV London 4:45pm-6:35pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A paranormal expert moves into a haunted house where his daughter befriends the amiable ghost of a young boy – but things start to go awry when three smelly spooks and two dastardly crooks try to chase the new residents away. Family comedy, starring Christina Ricci, Bill Pullman, Eric Idle, Cathy Moriarty and featuring the voice of Malachi Pearson.

Fun Fact: Casper was the first feature film with a computer-animated main character.

The Holiday (2006) ITV2 9:00pm-11:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
Two single women living on opposite sides of the Atlantic agree to exchange houses over the Christmas holidays. In their new surroundings, both women unexpectedly encounter prospective partners, but as the house swap draws to a close, difficult decisions have to be made about their blossoming relationships. Romantic comedy, starring Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Jack Black, Jude Law and Eli Wallach.

So there they are folks! Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember, there is no such thing as too much tinsel.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 128

Toasted marshmallows! It’s only the bloomin weekend!

Setting up camp in a picturesque clearing in the deep Canadian woods, we’ll be pitching out retro movie canvas just as the light begins to fade. We’ll hustle a fire together and sit looking over the flickering flames as we ponder all the cinematic greatness before zipping up for the night and dreaming of what possible greatness we could capture onto celluloid wonder in the next light.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 6th DECEMBER
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Twins (1988) ITV2 12:50pm-3:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
An unlikely pair of brothers, who were born as the result of a one-off genetic experiment and separated at birth, are reunited in adulthood. They set out on a cross-country search for their unknown mother – fending off vicious loan sharks and a professional assassin along the way. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Kelly Preston and Chloe Webb.

Runaway Bride (1999) Film4 1:00pm-3:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A disreputable journalist hopes to get his ailing career back on track by writing an article about a commitment-shy woman famed for ditching bridegrooms at the altar – but complications arise when the pair meet on the eve of her latest attempt at marriage. Romantic comedy, starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere, with Joan Cusack, Hector Elizondo and Rita Wilson.

Teen Wolf (1985) 5* 1:05pm-3:05pm (2 hours)
A teenage misfit is initially dismayed to learn he is a werewolf as a result of a hereditary curse. He finds there are advantages as he becomes a local celebrity, while his enhanced agility makes him the star player of his school’s basketball team – but fame quickly goes to his head. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, James Hampton and Susan Ursitti.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) ITV London 3:50pm-6:30pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
The teenage wizard is alarmed to learn a dangerous fugitive sorcerer is searching for him. Meanwhile, a new teacher at Hogwarts helps the bespectacled youngster to protect himself from the school’s soul-sucking security guards. The third in the fantasy adventure series, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Gary Oldman, David Thewlis, Michael Gambon, Robbie Coltrane and Alan Rickman.

Big (1988) Film4 5:10pm-7:15pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Scarface (1983) ITV4 10:15pm-1:35am (3 hours 20 minutes)
Small-time crook Tony Montana emigrates from Cuba to the US, determined to become rich and powerful. Admitted into the inner circle of a Miami drug lord, he ultimately takes over his boss’s empire and even his wife. However, his paranoia and cocaine addiction begin to spiral out of control, while his enemies circle, waiting for the chance to bring him down. Gangster thriller remake, with Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert Loggia.

SUNDAY 7th DECEMBER

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The First Wives Club (1996)
Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Three former college friends reunite at the funeral of a mutual acquaintance, who killed herself after her husband left her for a younger woman. Finding themselves in a similar situation, the trio decide to take action and hit their former partners where it hurts most – their finances. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler, Diane Keaton, Maggie Smith, Dan Hedaya, Bronson Pinchot and Elizabeth Berkley.

10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Channel 4 3:00pm-5:00pm (2 hours)
Lively teenager Bianca is not allowed to start dating until her man-hating sister Kat does first – but no boy is brave enough to ask her out. However, Bianca’s would-be boyfriend thinks he has found the perfect man for the job in the shape of a quirky loner with a mysterious past. Comedy, based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, starring Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Larisa Oleynik.

Fun Fact: The scene in which Kat reads the “10 Things” poem was the first and only take, according to the DVD extras. Kat’s tears towards the end of the poem were not planned.

Death Becomes Her (1992) ITV London 4:40pm-6:35pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Two romantic rivals are both granted the secret of eternal youth by a mysterious mystic. However, as they battle to get their claws into a plastic surgeon, they discover their now-immortal bodies are capable of taking whatever damage they can dish out. Black comedy fantasy, starring Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis and Isabella Rossellini.

Home Alone (1990) Sky Movies Family 9:35pm-11:30pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) Sky Movies Christmas 9:45pm-11:30pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An American householder is dismayed when his plans for a traditional festive family holiday are thrown into complete disarray by a succession of annoying neighbours and long-lost relatives, who turn up on his doorstep offering their own brand of Christmas cheer. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, Diane Ladd, Juliette Lewis, Miriam Flynn, Johnny Galecki and William Hickey.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you wrap up warm, and remember, never take sweets from strangers.

xoxo

Twins (1988)

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 52!

Batten down the hatches, it’s only the weekend!

So like a big hairy spider dominantly standing in the centre of your bath tub, let us be your fearless Nanna, as we try and scoop you up in the giant glass of retro movie greatness before we squish you under the rolled up newspaper of cinematic awesomeness and wash you away in a flood of celluloid decadence.

Have a happy retro weekend 🙂

SATURDAY 18th MAY

Beetlejuice (1988)Sky Movies Sci-fi & Horror 3:30pm-5:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Recently deceased couple Adam and Barbara Maitland enlist the professional services of a hard-boiled veteran ghost to scare away the obnoxious yuppie family who have moved into their former home. Tim Burton’s supernatural comedy, starring Michael Keaton, Geena Davis, Alec Baldwin, Winona Ryder, Jeffrey Jones and Catherine O’Hara.

Ladies Ghost With The Most Beetlejuice T-Shirt £22.99 (also available for men!)
Ladies Ghost With The Most Beetlejuice T-Shirt £22.99 (also available for men!)

California Man (1992)Film4 5:10pm-7:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Two high-school students accidentally unearth a frozen Stone Age caveman in their backyard. They decide to thaw him out and show him off around town. Unfortunately, their ticket to cool starts to run out of control and cause mayhem all over the state. Teen comedy, starring Brendan Fraser, Sean Astin, Pauly Shore, Megan Ward and Mariette Hartley.

Small Soldiers (1998)ITV2 6:30pm-8:45pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A hi-tech computer chip has a bizarre effect on a squad of toy soldiers, causing mayhem for their owner as the miniature marauders engage in a series of scaled-down skirmishes. Children’s adventure mixing live action and computer animation, starring Kirsten Dunst, Denis Leary and Gregory Smith, with the voices of Tommy Lee Jones, Frank Langella, Sarah Michelle Gellar and Christina Ricci.

Saving Private Ryan (1998)Film4 9:00pm-12:15am (3 hours 15 minutes)
In the aftermath of the Normandy landings, a group of American soldiers scours the battlefields of France in search of a missing infantryman, who has been given compassionate leave to return home because his brothers have been killed in the conflict. Steven Spielberg’s Oscar-winning Second World War drama, starring Tom Hanks, Tom Sizemore, Edward Burns, Matt Damon, Barry Pepper and Vin Diesel.

SUNDAY 19th MAY

Caddyshack (1980)Sky Movies Comedy 2:50pm-4:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A host of weird and wacky characters cause mayhem at an exclusive golf club, including a laid-back professional player, an obnoxious millionaire, the snobbish club president, a motley collection of teenage caddies and a psychotic groundskeeper engaging in a fight to the death with a canny gopher. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, Michael O’Keefe and Rodney Dangerfield.

Cinderella (1950)Sky Movies Disney 6:35pm-8:00pm (1 hour 25 minutes)
An orphan is forced to live a life of servitude by her cruel stepmother. The king of the realm she lives in organises a lavish ball to find a bride for his son, and a caring fairy godmother puts her magic to the task of turning the downtrodden girl into a princess. Disney animated fairytale, with the voices of Ilene Woods, William Phipps and Verna Felton.

Ladies Cinderella T-Shirt £19.99
Ladies Cinderella T-Shirt £19.99

The Simpsons Movie (2007)E4 8:00pm-9:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Homer unwittingly pollutes Lake Springfield, so the US government decides to isolate the city underneath a giant dome. The Simpsons manage to escape and plan to start a new life in Alaska – but learn Springfield is about to be destroyed, and return to save their friends. With the voices of Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright and Yeardley Smith.

Simpsons Homer This Dude Rocks Lounge Pants £16.99
Simpsons Homer This Dude Rocks Lounge Pants £16.99

The Incredible Hulk (2008)ITV2 7:45pm-10:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A bungled experiment causes a scientist to turn into a monster whenever he gets angry. He travels the world seeking a cure for his condition, while a ruthless general is determined to capture him and use the creature as a weapon. However, one of the soldiers under the officer’s command undergoes a terrifying transformation of his own. Comic-book adventure, starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth and William Hurt.

Men's Green Keep Calm Don't Make Me Angry Incredible Hulk T-Shirt £17.99 (also available for ladies)
Men's Green Keep Calm Don't Make Me Angry Incredible Hulk T-Shirt £17.99 (also available for ladies)

Allakazoo, it’s bonus movie clip time. I find myself singing this any time I’m making lunch – not sure why!

If only fairy God Mothers actually existed……! 😉

Mmm yet another tasty weekend of films, looks like we’ll be working on improving that butt-groove in the couch a little bit more.

Whatever you get up to this weekend remember no dive bombing in the shallow end and always enjoy yourselves.