The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 363

Kicking the door down like a cheesy 70s cop show, we’re back once again with a kapow and a whole heap of cool films behind us! Launching you through the weekend in total style, we’ve got hours and hours of awesome for you to enjoy. Take a peep!

SATURDAY 25th January

Bedazzled (2000) 5STAR 12:30pm-2:15pm
The Devil appears as a beautiful woman to a lovelorn computer buff and grants him seven wishes in exchange for his soul. However, he quickly discovers that dealing with the Princess of Darkness is not so simple, and when he uses his wishes to woo the girl he loves they all backfire on him in disastrous fashion. Fantasy comedy remake, with Brendan Fraser, Elizabeth Hurley, Frances O’Connor and Miriam Shor.

A Knight’s Tale (2001) 5STAR 3:25pm-5:00pm
A poverty-stricken squire spies an opportunity to make his dreams come true when his employer dies. He takes his place as a knight, launching himself on the road to riches by competing in jousting tournaments, but his ruse is jeopardised by a dastardly nobleman. Comedy adventure, starring Heath Ledger, Paul Bettany, Mark Addy, Shannyn Sossamon and Rufus Sewell.

.
Continue reading “The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 363”

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 362

Well, it’s official… we have set sail into the new year so far that… actually can we even still mention it’s a new year? Hmm… however you’re Jan is treating you so far, we know one thing that will make it just that extra easy/cool/relaxing/enjoyable (take you pick), another retro movie rundown! Enjoy

SATURDAY 18th January

You’ve Got Mail (1998) 5STAR 2:05pm-4:30pm
Two rivals in the bookshop business fall in love over the internet, unaware they know and dislike each other in the real world. While things remain frosty in person, the pair’s anonymous online relationship continues to blossom. Romantic comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey and Dabney Coleman.

.
Cocoon
(1985) Film4 2:50pm-5:05pm
The elderly residents of a retirement home treat themselves to an occasional dip in the pool at an abandoned house. It turns out that friendly aliens in human form are using the place to restore dormant members of their species – and energy from their cocoons is giving the old-timers a new lease of life. Ron Howard’s sci-fi drama, with Wilford Brimley, Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Don Ameche and Steve Guttenberg.
Continue reading “The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 362”

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 340

Rain, rain, go away… come again another day!
With the pitter-patter of rain on the windows, we’re back in hibernation to escape the worst of it with a whole hoast of top films for compony. Could be worse huh! Enjoy…

SATURDAY 20th July

Muppet Treasure Island (1996) E4 10:00am-12:00pm
A boy joins an expedition searching for lost treasure that falls foul of a band of pirates. Musical comedy, starring Tim Curry and Billy Connolly alongside the puppet characters.

The Muppets Clothing

Continue reading “The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 340”

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 179

Great wall of China! Another weekend? Sure why not!

Like an eagerly anticipating nominee for a big award, we find ourselves once again faced with a huge amount of opportunity before us like a long list of top retro films. A single decision will determine a great expanse of our lives (usually 90-120 minutes) and could just quite possibly take us to far and distant lands with some of the most colourful characters ever to hit the screen. We’ll sit patently with a belly full of butterflies before the big title is revealed and the fate of our evenings will be defined.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 16TH JANUARY

.
Flash Gordon (1980) Channel 4 10:00am-12:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
American football quarterback Flash Gordon and journalist Dale Arden find themselves aboard a rocket ship designed by scientist Dr Zarkov, who intends to travel across space to locate the source of recent natural disasters. The three arrive on the planet Mongo, where they soon learn that the attacks are the responsibility of evil emperor Ming the Merciless, who is planning to destroy the Earth. Sci-fi comic-strip adventure, with Sam J Jones, Max von Sydow, Brian Blessed, Melody Anderson, Topol, Timothy Dalton, Ornella Muti, Peter Wyngarde and Mariangela Melato.

Flash Gordon Merchandise

The Three Musketeers (1993) Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The king of France’s elite personal guard is disbanded, but three of them refuse to lay down their swords. Aided by an impetuous young man keen to join their ranks, the trio set out to foil an evil cardinal’s plot to seize the throne for himself by capturing the cleric’s wily female spy. Swashbuckling comedy adventure, with Kiefer Sutherland, Charlie Sheen, Oliver Platt, Chris O’Donnell, Tim Curry and Rebecca De Mornay.

Bean (1997) ITV2 4:00pm-5:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The hapless fool is employed as a security guard for a British art gallery and is sent to Los Angeles to bring back a famous painting. Unfortunately, he finds himself mistaken for a renowned art professor and invited to make an important presentation. Mel Smith’s British comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Burt Reynolds, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Peter Capaldi and June Brown.

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) ITV2 5:45pm-8:15pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Scientist Dr Ian Malcolm reluctantly joins a research team on the island where his employer first designed genetically engineered dinosaurs. Meanwhile, a big-game hunter takes the chance to bag the biggest prize of all – a Tyrannosaurus rex. Steven Spielberg’s dinosaur adventure sequel, starring Jeff Goldblum, Julianne Moore, Pete Postlethwaite and Richard Attenborough.

Jurassic Park TShirt

Assassins (1995) ITV4 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
Hitman Robert Rath is planning to quit his lethal profession, especially when he is stalked by a ruthless younger assassin who has no qualms about killing innocent bystanders. But as Rath takes on his last assignment, he decides to protect his intended target after his rival comes gunning for her. Thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Antonio Banderas and Julianne Moore.

Drive (2011) BBC3 9:30pm-11:05pm (1 hour 35 minutes) – Not retro but can’t be ignored!
A stuntman who moonlights as a getaway driver tries to protect the wife and child of an imprisoned criminal. When the convict is released, the driver tries to convince him to give up his life of crime for his family’s sake, but when they work together on a robbery, they end up drawn into a conflict with the Mafia. Crime drama, with Ryan Gosling, Carey Mulligan and Bryan Cranston.

Kevin and Perry Go Large (2000) Comedy Central 10:15pm-12:00am (1 hour 45 minutes)
The teenage duo are thrilled when their parents agree to let them go to Ibiza, and promptly embark on an increasingly desperate quest to find stardom as club DJs and lose their virginity on the sun-kissed shores – but seem certain to fail. Comedy, starring Harry Enfield, Kathy Burke, Rhys Ifans, James Fleet and Paul Whitehouse.

Lethal Weapon 4 (1998) ITV London 10:35pm-12:50am (2 hours 15 minutes)
Mismatched LAPD detectives Riggs and Murtaugh stumble across a ship transporting Chinese immigrants into the US. As they try to get to the bottom of the organisation behind the smuggling, they find themselves up against a master criminal who is an expert in martial arts and heads a Chinese triad responsible for people-trafficking and forgery. Action adventure sequel, starring Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Rene Russo, Joe Pesci, Jet Li and Chris Rock.

The Running Man (1987) Channel 4 11:40pm-1:30am (1 hour 50 minutes)
A helicopter pilot is framed for the murder of starving civilians – and ends up being forced to take part in a brutal TV game show in which a succession of gadget-wielding killers hunt him on the streets of Los Angeles. Sci-fi action adventure, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Yaphet Kotto, Maria Conchita Alonso and Richard Dawson.

SUNDAY 17TH JANUARY

.
Clueless (1995) Film4 1:00pm-2:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A rich high-school student uses all her charm and financial clout to boost an awkward new pupil’s image, but soon finds she has created a monster – while her own popularity suffers in the process. Comedy inspired by Jane Austen’s Emma, starring Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy and Paul Rudd.

Clueless Clothing

Blue Streak (1999) Channel 5 1:55pm-3:40pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A convicted jewel thief is released from prison, and sets about recovering his hidden loot – only to discover a police station has since been built where he left it. Undeterred, he poses as a maverick cop and worms his way into the detective division – little realising his problems have only just begun. Comedy, starring Martin Lawrence, Luke Wilson and Peter Greene.

Napoleon Dynamite (2004) Film4 2:50pm-4:40pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A socially inept high-school student and his lonely unemployed brother find their eccentric home life thrown into upheaval when their meddling uncle comes to stay. The teenage oddball tries to make the best of his changing circumstances, while putting all his skills to the task of helping his new best friend win the class presidency. Comedy, starring Jon Heder, Efren Ramirez and Haylie Duff.

Home Alone (1990) E4 3:05pm-5:10pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

Home Alone TShirts

You Only Live Twice (1967) ITV London 3:20pm-5:35pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
James Bond is sent on a mission to uncover the truth behind the disappearances of Soviet and American space capsules before the mutually suspicious superpowers go to war. The trail leads to Japan, where Bond finally comes face to face with his arch-enemy Blofeld. Spy thriller, starring Sean Connery, Donald Pleasence, Akiko Wakabayashi and Bernard Lee.

That Thing You Do! (1996) Sony Channel 4:30pm-6:45pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A small-town beat combo become a national overnight sensation with their debut record – but their sudden success looks to be a one-off, leaving them struggling to find a way of repeating the formula. Comedy drama set in the 1960s, written and directed by Tom Hanks, who also appears as the band’s manager. With Tom Everett Scott, Liv Tyler and Johnathon Schaech.

Jurassic Park III (2001) ITV2 5:05pm-6:55pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Palaeontologist Dr Alan Grant is lured to a dinosaur-infested island by a divorced couple who offer to fund his research, unaware their real motive is to find their missing son – and that the creatures on the island are far more intelligent than anyone suspected. Action adventure sequel, starring Sam Neill, William H Macy, Tea Leoni and Alessandro Nivola.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977) ITV4 6:05pm-8:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) Channel 5 7:10pm-8:55pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

The Client (1994) ITV4 9:00pm-11:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
A Mafia lawyer tells a boy where a politician’s body is buried shortly before committing suicide, prompting a team of district attorneys to press the young witness for information. However, the streetwise kid refuses to give evidence unless his own and his family’s safety is guaranteed, and hires a lawyer to ensure his demands are met. Courtroom thriller based on the novel by John Grisham, with Susan Sarandon, Tommy Lee Jones and Brad Renfro.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember that too much rice is always better than not enough and to measure twice and cut once.
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 161

Sweet marmalade one toast! It’s only the weekend back again!

So like one of the hottest crime scene investigators in town, we find ourselves facing another classic case of retro movie mystery. We’ll glove up and start eagerly digging for clues as we slowly uncover all the traces of cinematic greatness that the weekend has to offer. We’ll bag up only the most important evidence before taking it back to the lab to further uncover the hidden truths that may lie within and capture them forever onto celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 22nd August

.
Ivanhoe
(1982) Movie Mix 9:00am-11:50am (2 hours 50 minutes)
A noble 12th-century knight returns home to England after fighting in the Crusades alongside Richard the Lionheart, only to find the country under the domination of the king’s tyrannical brother. He joins a rebellion to restore rule of the kingdom to the rightful monarch. Medieval adventure based on Walter Scott’s novel, starring Anthony Andrews, James Mason and Sam Neill.

Flash Gordon (1980) More4 10:45am-1:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
American football quarterback Flash Gordon and journalist Dale Arden find themselves aboard a rocket ship designed by scientist Dr Zarkov, who intends to travel across space to locate the source of recent natural disasters. The three arrive on the planet Mongo, where they soon learn that the attacks are the responsibility of evil emperor Ming the Merciless, who is planning to destroy the Earth. Sci-fi comic-strip adventure, with Sam J Jones, Max von Sydow, Brian Blessed, Melody Anderson, Topol, Timothy Dalton, Ornella Muti, Peter Wyngarde and Mariangela Melato.

Flash Gordon Merchandise

Spartacus (1960) ITV4 2:10pm-6:00pm (3 hours 50 minutes)
A slave trained to fight as a gladiator turns against his masters and leads an army of rebels in a fight for freedom against the Roman state. But as the rebellion gathers momentum, two senators do all they can to exploit the uprising for their own political ends. Stanley Kubrick’s Oscar-winning epic, with Kirk Douglas, Tony Curtis, Laurence Olivier, Jean Simmons, Charles Laughton and Peter Ustinov.

Fun Fact: Thirty years after filming, Jean Simmons met the baby she held in this film, who now works in the film industry as a stuntwoman.

Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull (2008) BBC1 London 6:20pm-8:15pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
The globe-trotting archaeologist teams up with a rebellious teenager who draws him into a search in the Amazon jungle for a mysterious artefact of untold power. But their quest is hindered by Soviet agents, who also want the fabled object for an altogether more sinister purpose. Action adventure sequel, updating the series to a 1950s Cold War setting, starring Harrison Ford, Cate Blanchett, Shia LaBeouf, Ray Winstone and John Hurt.

The Matrix Revolutions (2003) ITV2 11:40pm-2:05am (2 hours 25 minutes)
As the survivors of the human race make their last stand against the machines, freedom fighters Neo and Trinity undertake a desperate journey into the heart of the enemy stronghold seeking a way to end the war, while the rogue computer program Smith sets about remaking the virtual world of the Matrix in his own image. Conclusion of the sci-fi trilogy, starring Keanu Reeves, Carrie-Anne Moss, Laurence Fishburne and Hugo Weaving.

SUNDAY 23rd August

.
Smokey and the Bandit II
(1980) ITV London 1:40pm-3:35pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
The maverick haulier must overcome a crisis of confidence when he and his friends are hired to transport a pregnant elephant to Texas, a mammoth task that proves far from easy, especially with their old enemy in hot pursuit. Road comedy, with Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Jerry Reed, Dom DeLuise and Sally Field.

Street Fighter (1994) 5* 2:05pm-4:10pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A military officer goes in search of a power-mad general who is holding several hostages in a secret location. He soon finds he is not the only one on the maniac’s trail, and joins forced with a mismatched band of martial artists to save the captives. Action adventure based on the video game, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Kylie Minogue and Ming-Na Wen.

Homeward Bound II: Lost in San Francisco (1996) ITV2 2:20pm-4:10pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Two dogs and a cat are left to fend for themselves on the streets of San Francisco when their owners fly off on holiday and accidentally leave them behind. As they join a tough group of strays, they must avoid falling into the clutches of the sinister dog catchers. Adventure sequel, with the voices of Michael J Fox, Sally Field and Ralph Waite.

Turner & Hooch (1989) E4 4:30pm-6:35pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A Californian detective investigating the murder of a local man by drug smugglers has only one witness to help him solve the case – the large, smelly dog that belonged to the victim, which is about to turn the detective’s well-ordered existence into chaos. Family comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham and Craig T Nelson.

Hulk (2003) ITV2 6:15pm-9:00pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
Scientist Dr Bruce Banner turns into the rampaging green Hulk after exposure to a huge dose of gamma radiation, prompting the military to embark on a no-holds-barred mission to destroy the monster. Meanwhile, Banner’s unstable father resurfaces, holding the secret to his transformation. Comic-strip adventure from director Ang Lee, starring Eric Bana, Jennifer Connelly, Sam Elliott and Nick Nolte.

Hulk Merchandise

Mercury Rising (1998) ITV4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A top-secret government agency has developed a seemingly unbreakable code – only for an autistic boy to crack it in an instant. Assassins succeed in gunning down his parents, but a maverick FBI agent investigating their deaths finds the child hiding in a closet, and resolves to shield him from the hitmen on his trail. Thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alec Baldwin and Miko Hughes.

Fight Club (1999) Channel 5 11:15pm-1:50am (2 hours 35 minutes)
A disillusioned office worker grows weary of his humdrum existence, but after meeting the mysterious Tyler Durden he finds fulfilment in establishing a club where similarly frustrated men come to vent their anger in bouts of bare-knuckle fighting. Satirical drama, directed by David Fincher, starring Edward Norton, Brad Pitt, Helena Bonham Carter, Meat Loaf and Jared Leto.

Fun Fact: In the short scene when Brad Pitt and Edward Norton are drunk and hitting golf balls, they really are drunk, and the golf balls are sailing directly into the side of the catering truck.

Daylight (1996) ITV4 11:15pm-1:30am (2 hours 15 minutes)
A devastating explosion in the New Jersey Tunnel causes a horrific pile-up, trapping a group of motorists underground. A former emergency worker witnesses the blast and heads in to guide the handful of survivors to safety before the waters of the Hudson river above them break through and flood the tunnel. Disaster movie, starring Sylvester Stallone, Amy Brenneman, Viggo Mortensen, Dan Hedaya and Claire Bloom.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, phone ahead if you need to and always bring some back up layers.
xoxo