The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Great bubbles and ladders! Another retro movie weekend he here! So soon!

Watching our buckets fill with roaring white water, we will reach our ladder high into the air before clunking it against the cold stone wall. with our bucket and window squeegee in hand, we will splash, rub and swoosh our way to window cleaning perfection. Mopping away each streak and dribble, we will step down from our lofty excursion to admire our handy work and shimmery window cleaning perfection.

SATURDAY 2nd September

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Muppet Treasure Island (1996) E4 11:55am-1:55pm (2 hours)
A youngster finds a treasure map and joins an expedition searching for a famous buccaneer’s lost treasure on an unexplored island. However, their mission falls foul of a band of pirates hiding out among the crew. Musical comedy based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, starring Tim Curry, Billy Connolly, Jennifer Saunders and Kevin Bishop alongside the puppet characters.

The Muppets Gifts

Sleepless in Seattle (1993) Sony Movie Channel 12:00pm-2:20pm
A widowed father is coping badly with his wife’s death, but his son is convinced that what he really needs is some new romance in his life. He arranges for his dad to go on a radio phone-in show, and his touching story moves a reporter to respond, even though she is already engaged. She returns to her fiance, but the boy, certain she is the woman for his father, plots to bring them together. Romantic comedy, with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

Three Men and a Little Lady (1990) 5STAR 2:35pm-4:45pm
Bachelor Jack and his two best buddies have brought up his baby Mary since she was left in their care by her mother, Sylvia. Now that Mary is five years old, Sylvia believes she needs a more conventional upbringing and decides to accept a marriage proposal from an English aristocrat, leaving the trio of dads rushing to stop the wedding. Comedy sequel, with Tom Selleck, Ted Danson and Steve Guttenberg.

Every Which Way But Loose (1978) ITV4 4:00pm-6:15pm
A truck driver travels across America with his faithful orang-utan competing in bare-knuckle fights for extra cash. He becomes smitten with a country singer who subsequently vanishes without a trace, so man and ape set off in search of her – with an enraged gang of bikers in pursuit. Action comedy, starring Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Geoffrey Lewis and Beverly D’Angelo.

Footloose (1984) 5STAR 4:45pm-7:00pm
A rebellious, hip-swinging student from the city moves to a small religious community, where he instantly clashes with an old-school fire-and-brimstone preacher – who has banned dancing and rock ‘n’ roll because he considers them immoral. Drama, starring Kevin Bacon, Lori Singer, John Lithgow, Chris Penn, Dianne Wiest and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Mrs Doubtfire (1993) Film4 6:35pm-9:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A struggling actor’s ambitious, no-nonsense wife throws him out and demands a divorce. Desperate to spend time with his children, he puts his talents to good use by donning drag and posing as a Scottish housekeeper to get a job looking after them. Comedy, starring Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein and Mara Wilson.

The Full Monty (1997) BBC1 9:00pm-10:25pm (1 hour 25 minutes)
Six unemployed men from Sheffield decide to become strippers for one night only in a bid to raise extra money. However, with no dancing experience and far from perfect physiques, the men rely on the unique selling point of complete nudity to impress the punters. Comedy, starring Robert Carlyle, Mark Addy, Tom Wilkinson, Hugo Speer and Paul Barber.

SUNDAY 3rd September

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The Evil Dead (1982) Film4 2:10am-4:00am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Five students staying in a remote cabin find an ancient magical book, and unwittingly unleash evil spirits on the world. The dark forces they have conjured up possess them one by one, transforming them into ravenous zombies with an insatiable desire to feast on the living. Sam Raimi’s horror, starring Bruce Campbell and Ellen Sandweiss.

Moonstruck (1987) Sony Movie Channel 1:15pm-3:30pm
An Italian-American widow agrees to marry an older man – only to fall head over heels in love with his younger brother, leaving her facing an impossible choice. Romantic comedy, starring Cher in an Oscar-winning role, with Nicolas Cage, Olympia Dukakis and Danny Aiello.

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) ITV2 2:55pm-4:45pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

The Secret Garden (1993) ITV3 2:55pm-5:00pm
An orphan is sent to live with her uncle in his forbidding Yorkshire mansion, where she meets her bedridden cousin – a boy she knew nothing about. She also stumbles across a marvellous but neglected garden, and sets about nursing them both back to health, with the help of a lad from a nearby village. Children’s drama, based on Frances Hodgson Burnett’s book, with Kate Maberly, Heydon Prowse, Andrew Knott, Maggie Smith and John Lynch.

Phenomenon (1996) Sony Movie Channel 6:20pm-9:00pm
An unassuming car mechanic observes a peculiar bright light one evening on the way home from a bar, and finds himself transformed into a genius with telekinetic powers. However, he is unprepared for the problems that lie ahead, as he struggles to woo a divorced single mother while coping with his new-found gift. Fantasy drama, starring John Travolta, Kyra Sedgwick, Forest Whitaker and Robert Duvall.

Evolution (2001) Film4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
Two science teachers investigate a mysterious meteor and discover it is oozing a strange fluid containing millions of minuscule but rapidly evolving organisms – which start to turn into terrifying alien monsters with a taste for human flesh. Sci-fi comedy, starring David Duchovny, Orlando Jones, Julianne Moore, Seann William Scott, Dan Aykroyd and Ted Levine.

The Bone Collector (1999) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:40pm
A quadriplegic ex-cop is saved from the brink of suicide by a rookie female officer needing his expertise to form a psychological profile of a serial killer. The murderer is posing as a cab driver and terrorising Manhattan, and has a gruesome habit of taking trophies from his victims’ bodies. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Michael Rooker, Mike McGlone, Luis Guzman and Queen Latifah.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always have a zombie back-up plan and remember to just keep on swimming.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Boxes and bubble wrap! Another retro movie weekend is here!

With a full weekend ahead of packing, shifting and unpacking, we will move all our worldly possessions to our new venture. Leaving behind memories, a few bad smells and probably that spoon the went missing a while back, we will set sail into the next ocean of life as we move from humble beginnings onto ventures new.

SATURDAY 26th August

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The Dark Crystal (1982) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

Bedknobs and Broomsticks (1971) BBC2 11:55am-1:50pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A novice witch befriends three children and takes them on a series of magical journeys, including a visit to a land inhabited by cartoon animals, where they get involved in a decidedly one-sided football match against a spoilt lion king. Disney’s part-animated musical fantasy, starring Angela Lansbury, David Tomlinson, Roddy McDowall and Sam Jaffe.

Hook (1991) Sony Channel 11:00am-2:05pm
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Heat (1995) Dave 11:00pm-2:30am (3 hours 30 minutes)
An armoured car hold-up sets a veteran police detective on the trail of a highly intelligent career criminal, whom he is obsessed with capturing. Meanwhile, the robber is planning an elaborate bank heist as his final job before retiring, and a complex game of cat and mouse develops between the two. Michael Mann’s crime thriller, starring Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Jon Voight, Tom Sizemore and Natalie Portman.

SUNDAY 27th August

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The Mask of Zorro (1998) Sony Movie Channel 9:00am-11:50am
The sword-wielding saviour of Spanish California returns after 20 years in prison, tutoring a thief to take over his heroic role and tackle corrupt government officials, who are using slave labour to mine gold illegally. Both mentor and pupil have personal scores to settle with their enemies, led by a ruthless governor and a psychotic military officer. Swashbuckling adventure, with Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Muppet Treasure Island (1996) E4 2:05pm-4:05pm (2 hours)
A youngster finds a treasure map and joins an expedition searching for a famous buccaneer’s lost treasure on an unexplored island. However, their mission falls foul of a band of pirates hiding out among the crew. Musical comedy based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, starring Tim Curry, Billy Connolly, Jennifer Saunders and Kevin Bishop alongside the puppet characters.

The Muppets Merchandise

Mrs Doubtfire (1993) Film4 3:25pm-5:50pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A struggling actor’s ambitious, no-nonsense wife throws him out and demands a divorce. Desperate to spend time with his children, he puts his talents to good use by donning drag and posing as a Scottish housekeeper to get a job looking after them. Comedy, starring Robin Williams, Sally Field, Pierce Brosnan, Harvey Fierstein and Mara Wilson.

Superman (1978) ITV 3:40pm-6:30pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Toy Story 2 (1999) BBC1 4:35pm-6:05pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
Cowboy doll Woody is stolen by an unscrupulous toy collector, who knows he is worth a fortune as a collectible, prompting fearless Space Ranger Buzz Lightyear to lead a daring across-town mission to rescue him. However, Woody is tempted to spend his life languishing in the safety of a museum rather than face the prospect of his owner growing up. Animated sequel, featuring the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack and Kelsey Grammer.

Toy Story Gifts

Money Train (1995) Sony Movie Channel 11:05pm-1:25am
A New York cop in debt to loan sharks persuades his foster brother and fellow police officer to rob a train carrying all the day’s takings from the city’s subway network. However, things start to go wrong when a female detective creates rivalry between the pair, and a pyromaniac serial killer threatens their plans. Action comedy, starring Woody Harrelson, Wesley Snipes, Jennifer Lopez and Chris Cooper.

MONDAY 28th August

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Footloose (1984) 5STAR 7:00pm-9:00pm
A rebellious, hip-swinging student from the city moves to a small religious community, where he instantly clashes with an old-school fire-and-brimstone preacher – who has banned dancing and rock ‘n’ roll because he considers them immoral. Drama, starring Kevin Bacon, Lori Singer, John Lithgow, Chris Penn, Dianne Wiest and Sarah Jessica Parker.

The Bone Collector (1999) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A quadriplegic ex-cop is saved from the brink of suicide by a rookie female officer needing his expertise to form a psychological profile of a serial killer. The murderer is posing as a cab driver and terrorising Manhattan, and has a gruesome habit of taking trophies from his victims’ bodies. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Michael Rooker, Mike McGlone, Luis Guzman and Queen Latifah.

Four Weddings and a Funeral (1994) Film4 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A London man’s misfortunes in love look set to change when he meets an American beauty. However, the prospect of a transatlantic relationship succeeding seems slim, so the pair go their separate ways – only for him to realise he is unable to get her out of his mind. Richard Curtis’s comedy, with Hugh Grant, Andie MacDowell, John Hannah, Charlotte Coleman, Kristin Scott Thomas, Simon Callow and James Fleet.

Patriot Games (1992) ITV4 10:05pm-12:25am
Former CIA agent Jack Ryan foils an assassination attempt by an IRA splinter group, killing one of the terrorists in the process. However, he becomes caught in a lethal game of cat-and-mouse with the dead man’s revenge-seeking brother. Thriller based on Tom Clancy’s novel, starring Harrison Ford, Sean Bean, Samuel L Jackson, Richard Harris and James Earl Jones, reprising his role from earlier Clancy adaptation The Hunt for Red October.

Whatever you’re up to this long bank holiday weekend, enjoy at least one lie in and make the most of everything. Every. Single. Thing.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Great white Shark! Another retro movie weekend has appeared and we’re here to take it on like a monster from the depths!

Like one of the biggest, oldest and battle-scared Sharks roaming the deep blue, we find ourselves yet again on the hunt for the best and most rewarding retro movies. Sensing even the smallest of action, movement and drama, we’ll begin to home in on our next VHS victim (showing our age) as we brace to take them on in style with a leap and a splash. Bellies full of retro awesomeness, we will return to the depths until next time.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 17th June

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Spies Like Us (1985) 5STAR 8:00am-9:50am
Two incompetent US State Department officials are unwittingly used as decoys on a deadly mission to thwart Soviet activity in Pakistan. Unfortunately, their involvement in such a delicate operation brings the world to the brink of nuclear war. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Forrest, Bruce Davison and Donna Dixon.

Vice Versa (1988) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A department store executive returns from a trip to Thailand in possession of a mysterious artefact that causes him to change places with his 11-year-old son. While the horrified father struggles to cope with a world of teachers and school bullies, the youngster is revelling in the perks of being a grown-up. Fantasy comedy, starring Judge Reinhold, Fred Savage, Swoosie Kurtz and Corinne Bohrer.

Fun Fact: The movie was made and released around 106 years after it source novel “Vice Versa: A Lesson to Fathers” by F. Anstey had been first published in 1882.

Gandhi (1982) 11:30am-3:20pm (3 hours 50 minutes)
Richard Attenborough’s Oscar-winning biopic of Mohandas K Gandhi, who rose from unlikely beginnings as a small-time lawyer to become the inspirational leader of India’s struggle for independence and a worldwide ambassador for peace thanks to his philosophy of non-violent protest. Starring Ben Kingsley, John Gielgud, Edward Fox, Candice Bergen, Martin Sheen, Richard Griffiths, Saeed Jaffrey, Om Puri and Geraldine James, with Daniel Day-Lewis in an early role.

Three Men and a Baby (1987) 1:30pm-3:30pm (2 hours)
The lives of three flat-sharing bachelors are turned upside down when they discover a baby left on their doorstep. Unfortunately, while trying to get to grips with the necessary parenting skills, they find themselves menaced by criminals searching for missing drugs. Comedy, directed by Leonard Nimoy, starring Tom Selleck, Ted Danson, Steve Guttenberg and Nancy Travis.

Iron Man 2 (2010) Channel 4 8:00pm-10:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Tycoon-turned-superhero Tony Stark confronts a fearsome new foe in a Russian scientist using his own deadly hi-tech weapons to seek revenge. He also faces a struggle to keep his secrets out of the hands of both the government and an amoral rival, and discovers the armour he developed to fight evil is slowly killing him. Action adventure sequel, with Robert Downey Jr, Mickey Rourke and Don Cheadle.

Superhero Merchandise

Jaws: The Revenge (1987) ITV4 8:10pm-10:00pm
Ellen Brody, the widow of heroic police chief Martin Brody, travels to the Bahamas after her youngest son is killed by a great white shark. But as she is reunited with her surviving son, the predatory fish sets off in pursuit to wipe out the entire family. Thriller sequel, starring Michael Caine, Lorraine Gary, Lance Guest and Mario Van Peebles.

Jaws TShirts

Commando (1985) Film4 9:00pm-10:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The daughter of retired special forces officer John Matrix is kidnapped by an old comrade-in-arms, now in league with a deposed former dictator. The tyrant plans to use the girl to force Matrix into assassinating the head of the country he once ruled, but is unprepared for the lengths to which the veteran soldier will go to rescue his child. Action adventure, with Arnold Schwarzenegger and Rae Dawn Chong.

Reservoir Dogs (1992) ITV4 10:00pm-12:05am
Criminals are employed by a crime boss to carry out a diamond robbery that goes disastrously wrong. In the bloody aftermath of the heist, they try to establish what happened and how the police were aware of their plans all along – leading to the hardening suspicion that one of them betrayed the gang. Quentin Tarantino’s thriller, starring Harvey Keitel, Tim Roth, Michael Madsen, Chris Penn and Steve Buscemi.

Reservoir Dogs Art Print

Shanghai Knights (2003) 10:40pm-12:30am (1 hour 50 minutes)
Chinese sheriff Chon Wang and reformed bandit Roy O’Bannon head for Victorian London on the trail of a murderer. Their investigation leads them to a nefarious Englishman plotting to kill the royal family – but fortunately Chon’s talented sister comes to their aid. Martial arts comedy sequel, with Jackie Chan, Owen Wilson, Aidan Gillen and Fann Wong.

Conan the Barbarian (1982) Film4 10:50pm-1:25am (2 hours 35 minutes)
A child who grows up in slavery becomes a formidable warrior and a cunning thief. Taken prisoner by a victorious king, he is sent out to destroy the leader of the barbaric cult that destroyed his village and slaughtered his family. Fantasy adventure, based on the stories by author Robert E Howard, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Max von Sydow, James Earl Jones and Sandahl Bergman.

Fun Fact: Arnold Schwarzenegger is not wearing a wig. That is his own natural hair. In 1979, Schwarzenegger began growing his hair long for the film.

SUNDAY 18th June

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The Mask of Zorro (1998) Sony Movie Channel 1:15pm-4:10pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
The sword-wielding saviour of Spanish California returns after 20 years in prison, tutoring a thief to take over his heroic role and tackle corrupt government officials, who are using slave labour to mine gold illegally. Both mentor and pupil have personal scores to settle with their enemies, led by a ruthless governor and a psychotic military officer. Swashbuckling adventure, with Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Footloose (1984) Channel 5 1:30pm-3:35pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A rebellious, hip-swinging student from the city moves to a small religious community, where he instantly clashes with an old-school fire-and-brimstone preacher – who has banned dancing and rock ‘n’ roll because he considers them immoral. Drama, starring Kevin Bacon, Lori Singer, John Lithgow, Chris Penn, Dianne Wiest and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Street Fighter (1994) Sony Movie Channel 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A military officer goes in search of a power-mad general who is holding several hostages in a secret location. He soon finds he is not the only one on the maniac’s trail, and joins forced with a mismatched band of martial artists to save the captives. Action adventure based on the video game, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Kylie Minogue and Ming-Na Wen.

Street Fighter TShirts

Hard to Kill (1990) ITV4 9:20pm-11:25pm
A gang of drug dealers attacks the home of a Los Angeles cop, leaving him in a coma and his wife dead. Seven years later, he regains consciousness and gets ready to exact a grisly payback on the murderers. As he embarks on his deadly mission of vengeance, he learns his son also survived the attack, but was told he is dead. Thriller, with Steven Seagal, Kelly LeBrock, Bill Sadler and Frederick Coffin.

Out for Justice (1991) ITV4 11:25pm-1:15am
A tough Brooklyn cop learns that his partner and best friend has been murdered in front of his family by a vicious drug dealer, the pair’s lifelong enemy and the scourge of the neighbourhood. The detective heads into the underworld on a one-man vengeance mission, but finds the killer’s criminal bosses are also hunting for him. Action thriller, with Steven Seagal, William Forsythe and Jerry Orbach.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget your sunglasses…. both leaving and coming home!

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Pinch my arm and slap my knee! Another classic retro movie weekend is here and we’re pretty gosh darn excited!

Working away like a wild and determined Beaver, we find ourselves racing the clock to collect all the materials and build something bigger and better than anything before it. Chomping, dragging and swimming our way to dam glory, we’ll work night and day to create something we can be proud of that will show the world what a small but eager creature can do before capturing our masterpiece on celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 10th June

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Muppets from Space (1999) Sony Channel 1:00pm-2:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Gonzo hits the road with pal Rizzo in tow and goes in search of his roots – only to make the amazing discovery that his parents belonged to a race of aliens. He then has to choose whether to board a UFO and return to his family, or stay with the friends he knows and loves. Family comedy, with F Murray Abraham, David Arquette, Ray Liotta, Andie MacDowell and Rob Schneider alongside the puppets.

Muppets Merchandise

School of Rock (2003) Film4 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A slobbish guitarist dreams of stardom, but his hopes are dashed when the other members of his band kick him out. Struggling to make ends meet, he takes a job as a supply teacher at an exclusive private school, and sets about moulding his pupils into rock gods. Comedy from director Richard Linklater, starring Jack Black, Joan Cusack, Mike White and Sarah Silverman.

The Family Man (2000) 5STAR 4:05pm-6:40pm
A Wall Street banker is magically given the opportunity to find out what his life would have held if he had not walked out on his loving girlfriend. Suddenly transplanted into an alternative reality, complete with cosy home and kids, he is not initially impressed with the change – but his cold exterior gradually begins to thaw. Drama, starring Nicolas Cage, Tea Leoni and Don Cheadle.

Fun Fact: At one time Nicolas Cage actually owned the Ferrari used in the film. He sold it about a year before filming began.

Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) BBC1 5:25pm-7:15pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The intrepid archaeologist, with his young sidekick and a nightclub singer in tow, is stranded in India, where he takes on a mission to recover magical sacred stones from the hands of an evil cult engaged in human sacrifice and child slavery. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, starring Harrison Ford, Kate Capshaw, Ke Huy Quan and Amrish Puri.

Blues Brothers 2000 (1998) Sony Movie Channel 6:20pm-9:00pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
Ex-convict Elwood Blues sets about re-forming his band to raise funds for a children’s hospital. But no sooner has he found a suitable lead singer to replace his late brother Jake, than the band end up being pursued by the police, the Russian mafia and his own embittered stepbrother. Comedy sequel, starring Dan Aykroyd, John Goodman and Joe Morton.

Iron Man (2008) Channel 4 8:00pm-10:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Arms manufacturer Tony Stark is taken hostage by a terrorist group and realises the weapons his company build have been falling into the wrong hands. Using his engineering skills to construct a hi-tech armoured suit, he manages to escape and then puts the technology to good use in the fight against evil around the world. Superhero adventure, starring Robert Downey Jr, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow and Terrence Howard.

Superhero Merchandise

The Game (1997) Sony Movie Channel 11:20pm-2:10am (2 hours 50 minutes)
A selfish investment banker is given an unusual birthday present by his free-spirited younger brother. He is enrolled in a mysterious game, the nature of which is never revealed – and as he tries to fathom the rules, his life rapidly begins to unravel in explosive fashion. David Fincher’s thriller, starring Michael Douglas, Sean Penn, Deborah Kara Unger and Peter Donat.

Fun Fact: Deborah Kara Unger fractured a bone in her foot and jumped into a dumpster infested with real rats while working on this film.

SUNDAY 11th June

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The Indian in the Cupboard (1995) Sony Movie Channel 9:15am-11:15am (2 hours)
A nine-year-old boy is given an old cupboard and a toy Iroquois Indian for his birthday – but when he puts the figure inside the cupboard, he is astonished to see it come to life. He repeats the experiment with more of his toys, and realises he is creating real people – and is responsible for their wellbeing. Children’s fantasy, with Hal Scardino, Litefoot and Steve Coogan.

Turner & Hooch (1989) E4 12:30pm-2:30pm (2 hours)
A Californian detective investigating the murder of a local man by drug smugglers has only one witness to help him solve the case – the large, smelly dog that belonged to the victim, which is about to turn the detective’s well-ordered existence into chaos. Family comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham and Craig T Nelson.

The Flintstones (1994) ITV2 12:55pm-2:35pm
Blue-collar caveman Fred Flintstone is promoted to an executive position at work and unwittingly becomes embroiled in an embezzlement scheme – thanks in no small part to his seductive new assistant. Live-action version of the cartoon comedy, starring John Goodman, Rick Moranis, Rosie O’Donnell, Halle Berry and Elizabeth Taylor.

Fun Fact: Though other actors were considered, there really was nobody else in the running for the role of Fred Flintstone. Steven Spielberg had worked with John Goodman earlier and had already noticed the actors striking resemblance to Fred Flintstone. He actually told Goodman then and there that he (Goodman) was ‘going to play Fred’ for him.

Stepmom (1998) Sony Movie Channel 1:15pm-3:55pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
A successful photographer marries a divorced businessman with two children, but has a hard time adapting to her new role as a stepmother – a task made all the more difficult by the hostile attitude of his ex-wife. However, a tragedy unexpectedly brings the two women closer together. Drama, starring Julia Roberts, Susan Sarandon, Ed Harris, Jena Malone and Liam Aiken.

Footloose (1984) Channel 5 4:15pm-6:25pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A rebellious, hip-swinging student from the city moves to a small religious community, where he instantly clashes with an old-school fire-and-brimstone preacher – who has banned dancing and rock ‘n’ roll because he considers them immoral. Drama, starring Kevin Bacon, Lori Singer, John Lithgow, Chris Penn, Dianne Wiest and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Vice Versa (1988) Film4 5:05pm-7:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A department store executive returns from a trip to Thailand in possession of a mysterious artefact that causes him to change places with his 11-year-old son. While the horrified father struggles to cope with a world of teachers and school bullies, the youngster is revelling in the perks of being a grown-up. Fantasy comedy, starring Judge Reinhold, Fred Savage, Swoosie Kurtz and Corinne Bohrer.

Star Trek (2009) E4 6:30pm-9:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
The trainee crew members of the starship Enterprise embark on their maiden flight, which pits them against a Romulan commander from the future who is planning a horrific revenge on those he blames for a tragedy in his own time. Sci-fi adventure based on the original TV series, starring Chris Pine, Zachary Quinto, Eric Bana, Zoe Saldana and Leonard Nimoy.

Star Trek Clothing

Get Carter (2000) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A Mob enforcer returns home to Seattle for his brother’s funeral. Learning his brother was murdered, he resolves to hunt down and kill everyone involved in his death, with the help of his dead sibling’s widow and her daughter. Crime thriller remake, starring Sylvester Stallone, Miranda Richardson, Mickey Rourke, Rachael Leigh Cook and Michael Caine, star of the original film.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep it light, keep it breezy and keep it awesome.

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The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Land ahoy! It’s the ruddy weekend again! Must be time for the first Retro Movie Rundown of 2016!

Like an amateur and eager model boat enthusiast, we find ourselves on the banks of our local marine pond with our trusty craft, batteries full of charge and a head full of excitement. We’ll get the propellers spinning to simply mind-boggling speeds as we skip and dance our way around the pond surface. Twisting and turning like a gazelle looking to out run a Cheetah, we’ll hum along until our time is up and our power is all used up….which is hopefully somewhere near the edge.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 9TH JANUARY

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The Towering Inferno
(1974) More4 9:45am-1:00pm (3 hours 15 minutes)
The world’s tallest building goes up in flames during the opening celebrations. While the architect who designed the skyscraper tries to save the party-goers trapped on the 135th floor, a fire chief leads a valiant attempt to fight the blaze. Disaster movie, starring Paul Newman, Steve McQueen, Faye Dunaway, William Holden, Fred Astaire, Richard Chamberlain, Susan Blakely and Robert Vaughn.

The Sea Wolves (1980) 5USA 12:35pm-3:10pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
The German Navy use three Goa-based vessels to attack Allied shipping, and their British counterparts cannot retaliate as they are moored in neutral waters. A group of retired officers living in India unofficially returns to duty to deal with the threat. Fact-based Second World War adventure, starring Gregory Peck, Roger Moore, David Niven, Trevor Howard, Barbara Kellerman and Patrick Macnee.

Addams Family Values (1993) 5* 3:50pm-5:45pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Spooky couple Gomez and Morticia hire a nanny to look after their new baby son – and stop him suffering an early death at the hands of his jealous elder siblings. Romance soon blossoms between the new childminder and Uncle Fester, but he does not realise she is planning to kill him once she has got hold of the family fortune. Comedy sequel, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci and Joan Cusack.

Jurassic Park (1993) ITV2 5:45pm-8:10pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Scientists are given a sneak preview of a safari park inhabited by genetically engineered dinosaurs created by an eccentric tycoon. However, it all goes wrong when a greedy employee sabotages the security systems, allowing the prehistoric beasts to roam free and hunt the visitors. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, starring Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough and Samuel L Jackson.

Jurassic Park TShirts

Terminal Velocity (1994) Film4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
A skydiving instructor tries to clear himself of responsibility for the death of a woman whose parachute failed to open. However, he later learns she is a Russian spy who faked her own demise, and now needs his help to foil an international criminal conspiracy out to steal a fortune in bullion. Action thriller, starring Charlie Sheen, Nastassja Kinski and James Gandolfini.

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) E4 8:00pm-11:00pm (3 hours)
The war between the shape-shifting robots erupts once again, as the first of the evil Decepticons leads an attack on Earth to locate an ancient planet-destroying machine. Hapless teenager Sam Witwicky is caught in the middle of the ensuing conflict as he holds the key to discovering the location of the device. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox.

Transformers Merchandise

Pale Rider (1985) ITV4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
An unscrupulous landowner threatens to throw gold-miners off their land and take the riches for himself. As the law turns a blind eye to their troubles, the miners desperately need a saviour – who happens to arrive in the form of a mysterious preacher with formidable gunfighting skills. Western, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood, alongside Michael Moriarty, Carrie Snodgress and Richard Dysart.

The Fast and the Furious (2001) ITV2 10:20pm-12:25am (2 hours 5 minutes)
In a move to identify suspected hijackers, an undercover police officer infiltrates the high-octane world of illegal late-night street racing by rival gangs. He is befriended by a champion driver, but when he also forms a bond with the racer’s sister, he is pitched into a conflict of loyalties. Thriller, starring Vin Diesel, Paul Walker, Michelle Rodriguez and Jordana Brewster.

National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983) GOLD 11:00pm-1:00am (2 hours )
A bumbling all-American family man takes his wife and kids on a disaster-filled cross-country drive to California to visit famous theme park Walley World – but their chances of arriving at their destination in one piece are looking slim. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, Imogene Coca, Anthony Michael Hall, Christie Brinkley and John Candy.

The Peacemaker (1997) BBC1 London 12:00am-1:55am (1 hour 55 minutes)
A military intelligence officer and a government expert on nuclear weapons team up to find the terrorists who have stolen ten atomic bombs from a train. The duo are initially reluctant to co-operate, but a grudging respect gradually develops after they are forced to work together. Action thriller, starring George Clooney, Nicole Kidman, Marcel lures and Armin Mueller-Stahl.

SUNDAY 10TH JANUARY

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Thunderball
(1965) ITV London 2:55pm-5:30pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
James Bond travels to the Bahamas on the trail of two nuclear warheads stolen from a British aircraft. The lethal weapons have fallen into the hands of international crime syndicate Spectre, which plans to fire them at the US coast unless an exorbitant ransom is paid. Spy adventure, starring Sean Connery, Claudine Auger, Adolfo Celi and Lois Maxwell.

Bean (1997) ITV2 2:45pm-4:30pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The hapless fool is employed as a security guard for a British art gallery and is sent to Los Angeles to bring back a famous painting. Unfortunately, he finds himself mistaken for a renowned art professor and invited to make an important presentation. Mel Smith’s British comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Burt Reynolds, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Peter Capaldi and June Brown.

Mr Bean TShirts

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) ITV2 4:30pm-7:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Scientist Dr Ian Malcolm reluctantly joins a research team on the island where his employer first designed genetically engineered dinosaurs. Meanwhile, a big-game hunter takes the chance to bag the biggest prize of all – a Tyrannosaurus rex. Steven Spielberg’s dinosaur adventure sequel, starring Jeff Goldblum, Julianne Moore, Pete Postlethwaite and Richard Attenborough.

Iron Man (2008) E4 6:30pm-9:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Arms manufacturer Tony Stark is taken hostage by a terrorist group and realises the weapons his company build have been falling into the wrong hands. Using his engineering skills to construct a hi-tech armoured suit, he manages to escape and then puts the technology to good use in the fight against evil around the world. Superhero adventure, starring Robert Downey Jr, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow and Terrence Howard.

Iron Man Merchandise

Star Trek: Generations (1994) Channel 5 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
USS Enterprise Captain Jean-Luc Picard must stop a deranged genius obsessed with gaining access to a mysterious energy source – regardless of the threat to entire civilisations that lie in his path. Help arrives from an unlikely quarter – his supposedly long dead predecessor Captain James T Kirk. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, William Shatner, Malcolm McDowell and Whoopi Goldberg.

Star Trek TShirts

Assassins (1995) ITV4 11:05pm-1:45am (2 hours 40 minutes)
Hitman Robert Rath is planning to quit his lethal profession, especially when he is stalked by a ruthless younger assassin who has no qualms about killing innocent bystanders. But as Rath takes on his last assignment, he decides to protect his intended target after his rival comes gunning for her. Thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Antonio Banderas and Julianne Moore.

Signs (2002) BBC1 London 11:25pm-1:05am (1 hour 40 minutes)
A former clergyman who has lost his faith since his wife’s death discovers a number of crop circles on his land. Initially believing them to be a prank, he gradually begins to suspect an alien invasion is at hand. As a series of strange and terrifying events takes place, he and his family are forced into hiding in their farmhouse, and must work together to survive. M Night Shyamalan’s sci-fi thriller, starring Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix.

Footloose (1984) Channel 4 11:30pm-1:25am (1 hour 55 minutes)
A rebellious, hip-swinging student from the city moves to a small religious community, where he instantly clashes with an old-school fire-and-brimstone preacher – who has banned dancing and rock ‘n’ roll because he considers them immoral. Drama, starring Kevin Bacon, Lori Singer, John Lithgow, Chris Penn, Dianne Wiest and Sarah Jessica Parker.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you wrap up warm and don’t forget to save your game.
xoxo