No, it’s not an episode of Batman from the 60’s, it’s likely these are some of the noises you may be hearing tonight! Just a mere five days after getting dressed up like a weirdo, Bonfire Night is most likely everyone’s second favourite day of fun.
Building fires out of old pieces of discarded furniture, crumpling up newspaper and stuffing them in an old pair of paisley pyjamas your kind old granpappy donated to you for the Guy.
Keeping warm was the thing – your mum would wrap you up as if preparing for a hike to Antarctica, Parker, mittens with the piece of string, scarf and woolly hat, never before has anyone been so cosy.
I remember holding a sparkler for the first time ever, I may only have been about six years old. The sheer feeling of joy I felt holding something like that as it fizzed yellow sparkly stuff was only hampered by my confusion, I had no idea what to do with it. My mum would be saying “wave it about, write your name” as she reached for the camera!
My uncle would always put on a fireworks display. It was never a professional affair, my cousins and I would be on tender hooks much of night as we dodged and ran from rogue rockets! One time a Catherine wheel poorly nailed to a fence span off and flew around the garden like a glittery U.F.O hovering for a moment before turning into a deadly sparkly Frisbee and flying at us. Despite the danger it was the best time.
We’re back with another installment of our weekly movie quide! Kick back and enjoy some classic film brilliance this weekend with some of our all time fave crossping up onto our small screens. Enjoy folks!
SATURDAY 1st SEPTEMBER
The Smurfs (2011) Sky Movies Family 8:00pm-9:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The tiny blue forest-dwelling creatures flee from an evil wizard, only to end up magically transported to modern-day New York. They search for a way to get back to their own village, while evading their enemy, who has followed them to the Big Apple. Fantasy comedy, starring Neil Patrick Harris, Hank Azaria and Jayma Mays, with the voices of Jonathan Winters and Katy Perry
Rocky V (1990) ITV4 10:40pm-12:50am (2 hours 10 minutes)
The former champion begins training promising youngster Tommy Gunn – only to see his protege turn against him, forcing him back into a fight that could end in tragedy. Boxing drama sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire and real-life heavyweight boxer Tommy Morrison.
Spider-Man (2002) Sky Movies Showcase 3:40pm-5:45pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A clumsy teenager develops superhuman powers after a genetically engineered spider bites him. At first his fantastic skills delight him, but his elation is severely tempered by a family tragedy, prompting him to dedicate his talents to combating evil. However, he faces a baptism of fire in the form of crazed villain the Green Goblin. Comic-book superhero adventure, with Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Willem Dafoe, James Franco and Rosemary Harris
Thor (2011) Sky Movies Showcase 8:00pm-10:00pm (2 hours )
The Norse god of thunder is banished from his own world when his arrogance puts the kingdom on the brink of war. He is sent to present-day Earth, where he is forced to live among humans without his supernatural powers, but must regain his abilities to defend his new home against his evil brother. Kenneth Branagh’s fantasy adventure, starring Chris Hemsworth, Natalie Portman, Tom Hiddleston and Anthony Hopkins
SUNDAY 2nd SEPTEMBER
Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom (1984) BBC3 8:10pm-10:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The intrepid archaeologist, with his young sidekick and a nightclub singer in tow, is stranded in India, where he takes on a mission to recover lost sacred stones with magical powers from the hands of an evil cult engaged in human sacrifice and child slavery. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, starring Harrison Ford, Kate Capshaw, Ke Huy Quan and Amrish Puri
Transformers: Dark of the Moon (2011) Sky Movies Showcase 8:00pm-10:35pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
The heroic autobots discover that a spaceship from their own planet crashed into the moon decades ago, carrying their former leader and an incredibly powerful device. They must fight to defend the human race as their enemies the decepticons plot to use this machine to rebuild their own world and destroy the Earth. Sci-fi adventure sequel, with Shia LaBeouf, Josh Duhamel and Rosie Huntington-Whiteley
Airplane II: The Sequel (1982) Sky2 9:00pm-10:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Hapless hero Ted Striker tries to prevent the launch of a passenger space shuttle, certain it will end in disaster. Sadly, his prediction comes true when a computer malfunction sends the spacecraft hurtling toward the sun, while a man driven mad by sexual inadequacy smuggles a bomb on board. Disaster movie spoof sequel, starring Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, Lloyd Bridges, William Shatner, Sonny Bono and Chad Everett
MONDAY 3rd SEPTEMBER
Gladiator (2000) ITV2 9:00pm-12:05am (3 hours 5 minutes)
Roman general Maximus Decimus Meridius is a casualty of a power struggle between the corrupt Emperor Commodus and the senate. Ordered to be put to death along with his family, he escapes his would-be killers and is sold into slavery, only to become a gladiator and seek revenge for the murder of his wife and child. Oscar-winning period epic, with Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Derek Jacobi and Oliver Reed, in his last film role. Including FYI Daily
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010) Sky Movies Family 10:25pm-12:55am (2 hours 30 minutes)
The dark lord Voldemort rises to ultimate power over the magical world, while the teenage wizard and his friends set out on a mission to find the magical horcruxes – artefacts containing parts of the evil wizard’s soul that hold the key to destroying him. The first half of the two-part conclusion to the fantasy saga, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Ralph Fiennes, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint
Big (1988) Sky Movies Modern Greats 8:00pm-10:00pm (2 hours )
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his childlike brain and emotions to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins
Apologies for the lack of The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown last week! The good news is, we are back and ready to rock your weekend with some retro movie treats in store and even better news is that it’s a BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND so we have given you a bonus Monday viewing schedule to ensure you don’t miss a thing!
Have a happy retro LONG weekend 🙂
SATURDAY 25th AUGUST
Superman II (1980) Sky Movies Action & Adventure 10:40am-12:55pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
The Man of Steel meets his match in the form of three fugitive villains from his home planet of Krypton. Flying down to Earth, the super-powered trio unleash a reign of terror in a bid to take over the world – but Superman is not there to stop them, having surrendered his powers to lead a normal life with his beloved Lois Lane. Comic-strip adventure sequel, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Terence Stamp and Margot Kidder.
Twins (1988) ITV2 12:30pm-2:40pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
An unlikely pair of brothers, who were born as the result of a one-off genetic experiment and separated at birth, are reunited in adulthood. They set out on a cross-country search for their long-lost mother – fending off vicious loan sharks and a professional assassin along the way. Comedy adventure, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Kelly Preston and Chloe Webb
X-Men: First Class (2011) Sky Movies Action & Adventure 1:25pm-3:45pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Telepathic mutant Charles Xavier forms the first generation of the superhero team in the 1960s to avert the threat of nuclear war. Their battle with a Nazi war criminal manipulating the world toward conflict drives a wedge between Xavier and his ally Magneto, leading to them becoming deadly enemies. Superhero adventure prequel, starring James McAvoy, Michael Fassbender, Kevin Bacon and Rose Byrne
Garfield: A Tale of Two Kitties (2006) ITV2 5:25pm-7:00pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
The lazy moggy stows away in his owner’s luggage and ends up in London. He is promptly mistaken for an English upper-class cat, who has recently inherited a grand estate, and moves into his stately home – much to the dismay of the real aristocratic feline’s conniving relation, who is bent on swindling him out of his money. Family comedy, starring Breckin Meyer, Billy Connolly and Jennifer Love Hewitt, with the voices of Bill Murray and Tim Curry.
Footloose (2011) Sky Movies Drama & Romance 8:00pm-10:00pm (2 hours)
A teenager from Boston moves to a small conservative town, and discovers the council and a preacher have enforced a ban on loud music and dancing. He openly defies the harsh rules, revitalising the local youth and winning the heart of the reverend’s daughter. Musical remake, with Kenny Wormald, Julianne Hough and Dennis Quaid
SUNDAY 26th AUGUST
Beauty and the Beast (1991) Channel 5 6:20pm-8:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Premiere. A bookish woman agrees to take her father’s place as prisoner of a fearsome monster living in a castle deep in the forest. She gradually grows to see a gentler, more human side to her hideous host, and comes to realise she may be able to break the curse that turned him into a beast in the first place. Disney animated fantasy, with the voices of Paige O’Hara and Robby Benson.
X-Men Origins: Wolverine (2009) Channel 4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Years before he joins the superhero team, mutant Logan is a member of a top secret military unit, but quits because he cannot justify his squad’s brutal methods. However, when the woman he loves is murdered by his psychotic brother, Logan returns to his old enemies for help in seeking revenge – and is offered the chance to become indestructible. Superhero adventure prequel, starring Hugh Jackman and Liev Schreiber.
Toy Story 3 (2010) Sky Movies Family 9:55am-11:40am (1 hour 45 minutes)
Woody, Buzz and the other toys are donated to a daycare centre when their owner grows up. At first this seems like the perfect new home for them, but when they realise the dangers lurking under the surface, they begin to formulate an escape plan. Pixar animated adventure sequel, with the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen and Joan Cusack
Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011) Sky Movies Premiere 8:00pm-10:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The young wizard continues his search for the artefacts containing fragments of the dark lord Voldemort’s soul. Time is running out, as the evil sorcerer is aware of his mission, and marshals his forces for a final, devastating attack on Harry and his friends at Hogwarts school. Conclusion of the fantasy saga, with Daniel Radcliffe, Ralph Fiennes, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Alan Rickman.
MONDAY 27th AUGUST
Wallace & Gromit in The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005) BBC1 London 3:30pm-4:45pm (1 hour 15 minutes)
Inventor Wallace and his canine sidekick Gromit have set up a pest-control service, and are called in to stop rabbits overrunning a garden show. However, the pair are overwhelmed when a destructive giant bunny arrives on the scene, while an interfering aristocrat contrives to make matters worse. Nick Park’s Oscar-winning animated adventure, with the voices of Peter Sallis, Ralph Fiennes and Helena Bonham Carter.
The Wizard of Oz (1939) Channel 5 2:55pm-5:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Youngster Dorothy Gale is whisked over the rainbow by a tornado into the magical land of Oz, where she inadvertently kills a wicked witch – incurring the wrath of another. Setting out to find the wizard who can show her a way home, she is joined on her journey by a scarecrow, a tin man and a cowardly lion, who all hope their own wishes will be granted. Musical fantasy, with Judy Garland, Ray Bolger, Jack Haley, Bert Lahr and Frank Morgan.
Muppets from Space (1999) 5* 1:00pm-2:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Gonzo hits the road with pal Rizzo in tow and goes in search of his roots – only to make the amazing discovery that his parents belonged to a race of aliens. He then has to choose whether to board a UFO and return to his family, or stay with the friends he knows and loves. Family comedy, with F Murray Abraham, David Arquette, Ray Liotta, Andie MacDowell and Rob Schneider alongside the puppets.
Spider-Man (2002) Sky Movies Showcase 9:40am-11:50am (2 hours 10 minutes)
A clumsy teenager develops superhuman powers after a genetically engineered spider bites him. At first his fantastic skills delight him, but his elation is severely tempered by a family tragedy, prompting him to dedicate his talents to combating evil. However, he faces a baptism of fire in the form of crazed villain the Green Goblin. Comic-book superhero adventure, with Tobey Maguire, Kirsten Dunst, Willem Dafoe, James Franco and Rosemary Harris.
The Incredible Hulk (2008) ITV2 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A bungled experiment causes a scientist to turn into a monster whenever he gets angry. He travels the world seeking a cure for his condition, while a ruthless general is determined to use him as a weapon. However, one of the soldiers under the officer’s command undergoes a terrifying transformation of his own. Comic-book adventure, starring Edward Norton, Tim Roth, Liv Tyler and William Hurt.
So, it’s looking like a pretty Superhero-tastic weekend with a few toys and wizards thrown in for good measure!!
We hope you enjoy the bank holiday, see you next week, same time, same place!!
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For all you Gryffindor fans, you can now show which house you support by proudly wearing your very own Gryffindor Team Quidditch t-shirt, available for guys and gals – show your allegiance to Harry Potter’s, Hogwarts house team!
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If you fancy yourself as more of a Slytherin, Ravenclaw or Hufflepuff, never fear – our fab designers are working on new designs so will soon be able to show your support for all the Hogwarts Quidditch teams, be it the good, the bad, the brainy or the lovely! 😉
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With new HP designs on the way there is sure to be something for everyone but if there is something that you would like to see – do let us know and we will pass your requests on to our designers who love to hear your ideas and suggestions!
Yay! Weekend time again folks, Thank the god of weekends because they have packed it to the brim for us movie loving geeks. From adventuring archaeologists, teenage wizardry, shrimp boat captains, teenage romantics and firemen, it’s a fine time to stay in with us so put your feet up and completely immerse yourself in this weekends retro extravaganza. Enjoy yourself folks!
Have a happy retro weekend 🙂
SATURDAY 30th JUNE
Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) BBC1 London 6:30pm-8:20pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Intrepid archaeologist Indiana Jones goes in search of the legendary Ark of the Covenant, a biblical artefact of devastating power. His quest leads him to Egypt, where the Nazis are plotting to use the Ark’s power to further Hitler’s plans for world domination – aided by Jones’ deceitful French rival. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, with Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Paul Freeman and John Rhys-Davies.
Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix (2007) ITV1 London 7:30pm-10:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
The young wizard struggles to convince his fellow sorcerers that the evil Lord Voldemort has returned to life. When Hogwarts headmaster Dumbledore is ousted in favour of a sadistic replacement, Harry realises he must take matters into his own hands, uniting his fellow pupils to form a secret army and training them for the inevitable confrontation to come. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Gary Oldman, Michael Gambon and Alan Rickman.
Forrest Gump (1994) Sky1 9:00pm-11:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
A simple soul bumbles his way through a series of bizarre adventures, becoming an American football star, Vietnam veteran, table tennis champion and millionaire businessman – but the love of his life continues to elude him. Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama, starring Tom Hanks, Sally Field, Robin Wright and Gary Sinise.
Kindergarten Cop (1990) ITV2 12:25am-2:25am (2 hours )
A tough detective is forced to pose as a pre-school teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson.
SUNDAY 1st JULY
Pretty Woman (1990) Sky Movies Modern Greats 4:15pm-6:15pm (2 hours )
A ruthless millionaire hires a prostitute while on a business trip. Realising she may be useful in helping him keep up a successful appearance, he pays her to accompany him for a week as he associates with the rich and powerful – but falls in love despite their many differences. Romantic comedy, starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, with Ralph Bellamy and Laura San Giacomo.
Pretty in Pink (1986) Sky Movies Modern Greats 6:15pm-8:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Misfit high-school girl Andie Walsh unexpectedly attracts the attentions of a rich, popular boy, but the course of true love runs far from smoothly when their two worlds collide. Romantic drama, starring Molly Ringwald, Andrew McCarthy, James Spader, Jon Cryer and Harry Dean Stanton.
Clueless (1995) Film4 7:00pm-8:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A rich high-school student uses all her charm and financial clout to boost a new pupil’s image, but soon finds she has created a monster – while her own popularity suffers in the process. Comedy inspired by Jane Austen’s Emma, starring Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy and Paul Rudd.
Backdraft (1991) Sky Movies Crime & Thriller 7:40pm-10:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
The two sons of a fireman who died in the line of duty follow him into the profession. However, a feud develops between them because the elder brother is convinced his sibling is not up to the job – until a mission to uncover the identity of a serial arsonist gives him the chance to prove his worth. Action drama, starring Kurt Russell, William Baldwin, Robert De Niro, Jennifer Jason Leigh and Donald Sutherland.
Let’s hope that’s got your remote controller finger itching 😉
Not your cuppa tea? Well, if you could watch any movie in the world this weekend what would it be?