The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 324

Knock knock… who’s there? Gareth. Gareth who? Gareth who is knocking your recycling bins against your front door!
Keeping ourselves pretty wrapped up and prepped for the wild winds in the west, we find ourselves hearing our TV sets calling to us from afar with promises of epic takes, laughs and romantic tales. Well… if you say so TV!

SATURDAY 16th March

The Great Muppet Caper (1981) E4 6:15am-8:00am
Reporters Kermit the Frog and Fozzie Bear are sacked for missing out on a massive scoop about the theft of jewellery from famous British fashion designer Lady Holiday. To try to re-establish their reputations, the duo and Gonzo fly to London to see if they can track down the culprit. Comedy, with the voices of Jim Henson and Frank Oz, with cameo appearances by John Cleese, Diana Rigg, Charles Grodin and Peter Ustinov.

The Muppets Merchandise

Rock On Animal The Muppets Rolled Sleeve Boyfriend T-Shirt



A Knight’s Tale (2001) Channel 5 10:25am-1:00pm
A poverty-stricken squire spies an opportunity to make his dreams come true when his employer dies. He takes his place as a knight, launching himself on the road to riches by competing in jousting tournaments, but his ruse is jeopardised by a dastardly nobleman. Comedy adventure, starring Heath Ledger, Paul Bettany, Mark Addy, Shannyn Sossamon and Rufus Sewell.

Baby’s Day Out (1994) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm
Three bungling kidnappers hatch a plan to pose as society reporters and snatch the baby son of a wealthy couple. However, the infant escapes on to the streets of New York, evading the crooks’ every attempt to recapture him. Comedy, starring Joe Mantegna, Lara Flynn Boyle, Joe Pantoliano and Brian Haley.

Kramer vs Kramer (1979) Sony Movie Channel 12:35pm-2:40pm
Ted Kramer takes stock of his life and decides to devote all his time and energy to raising his seven-year-old boy after his wife walks out on them. Things go well for the pair – until she makes an unexpected reappearance and demands sole custody of the child, a move that threatens to tear father and son apart. Oscar-winning drama, starring Dustin Hoffman, Meryl Streep, Justin Henry, Jane Alexander, JoBeth Williams and Howard Duff.

Batteries Not Included (1987) Sony Movie Channel 4:45pm-6:55pm
A family of tiny alien spacecraft intervenes to help the residents of a run-down Manhattan brownstone tenement stop greedy developers from demolishing their homes. However, the miniature flying saucers have the odds stacked against them as they bravely do all they can to save the day. Sci-fi fantasy, starring Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Frank McRae and Elizabeth Pena.



Home Alone (1990) E4 7:55pm-10:00pm
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

Home Alone Sweaters

SUNDAY 17th March

Bugsy Malone (1976) ITV3 9:25am-11:15am
Alan Parker’s slapstick musical comedy, featuring a cast composed entirely of children and following a war between rival gangsters in 1920s New York – fought with custard pies and cream-firing Tommy guns. When a slick mobster acquires devastating new weapons, his arch-rival enlists the aid of a small-time chancer to steal them. Starring Scott Baio, Florrie Dugger and John Cassisi, with Jodie Foster in an early appearance.



The Muppet Movie (1979) E4 12:20pm-2:10pm
Kermit the Frog is persuaded by his agent that he has a future in movies. He sets off on a journey across America to realise his dream, gathering a crowd of like-minded friends along the way – but the owner of a French restaurant plans to make him the dish of the day. Comedy, starring Dom DeLuise and Charles Durning alongside the puppet characters, with cameos from Mel Brooks, Orson Welles and Steve Martin.

Labyrinth (1986) Channel 5 1:00pm-3:05pm
A teenager wishes her baby brother would be taken away, only to have her request granted by a band of goblins and their sinister king. She regrets her decision and sets out to rescue him, but to reach the castle where he is being held, she must find her way through a magical maze full of strange creatures. Jim Henson’s fantasy adventure, starring Jennifer Connelly and David Bowie.

Labyrinth TShirts

Labyrinth Retro You Remind Me Of The Babe Black T-Shirt



Antz (1998) ITV2 2:40pm-3:55pm
A neurotic worker ant passes himself off as a soldier to impress a princess. However, he provokes a jealously ambitious general with an accidental act of heroism – so he and his beloved decide to flee the brutal colony and go in search of the promised land of Insectopia. Animated comedy, with the voices of Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman and Sylvester Stallone.

Dr No (1962) ITV4 5:10pm-7:30pm
James Bond travels to the Caribbean to investigate the murder of a fellow agent, leading to a confrontation with a mysterious criminal mastermind hatching a plot to sabotage the US space programme. The first in the long-running spy thriller series, starring Sean Connery, Ursula Andress, Jack Lord and Joseph Wiseman.

Captain America: The First Avenger (2011) Film4 9:00pm-11:25pm
A puny but brave volunteer is rejected for military service during the Second World War. He becomes the test subject for an experiment that transforms him into the ultimate soldier, and battles against a secret Nazi society plotting to harness the powers of a mystical artefact. Superhero adventure, with Chris Evans, Hugo Weaving, Hayley Atwell and Tommy Lee Jones.

Captain America TShirts

Captain America Shield Logo T-Shirt

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you have a kite handy!

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 322

Sweet child of mine! Another weekend is here and ready to pick you up and carry you in style through the weekend. Hold onto your top hats peeps, things are about to get a whole lot more adventurous, funny and downright dangerous with some of our top movie picks hitting the small screen. Enjoy!

SATURDAY 2nd March

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) 5STAR 12:45pm-2:30pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

Ever After: A Cinderella Story (1998) Film4 1:35pm-3:55pm
A girl grows up in 16th-century Europe under the iron fist of her stepmother, until the love of handsome Prince Henry offers a glimmer of hope. Unfortunately, the royal gent has worries of his own in the shape of an arranged marriage. Luckily, Renaissance genius Leonardo da Vinci is on hand to play fairy godfather and bring the pair together. Romantic drama, starring Drew Barrymore, Anjelica Huston, Dougray Scott and Timothy West.

Cutthroat Island (1995) 5STAR 2:30pm-4:55pm
A tough female pirate enlists the help of an educated slave in finding the three parts of a map leading to buried treasure. However, one of the pieces is in the hands of her cruel uncle, and she also has to find the loot before her crew mutinies or the British Navy catches up with her. Swashbuckling adventure, starring Geena Davis, Matthew Modine, Frank Langella and Maury Chaykin.

Willow (1988) Film4 4:05pm-6:35pm
A farmer with dreams of becoming a wizard finds an abandoned baby, who is destined to bring about the downfall of an evil queen. The wicked tyrant’s minions have been sent to kill the child before she can fulfil the prophecy, and it falls to the would-be sorcerer to protect her, with the aid of a rogue warrior. Fantasy adventure, starring Warwick Davis and Val Kilmer.



Despicable Me 2 (2013) ITV2 5:40pm-7:40pm
A reformed criminal mastermind who has abandoned his wicked ways for a life of fatherhood and jam-making helps a secret agent to bring one of his fellow evil geniuses to justice. The villain in question has stolen a dangerous experimental serum with the power to turn harmless animals into ravening monsters. Animated comedy sequel, with the voices of Steve Carell and Kristen Wiig.

Minions Mug

Minions 3D Bob Mug With Scented Charm



Crocodile Dundee II (1988) FIlm4 6:45pm-9:00pm
The rugged Australian adventurer sets out to save his reporter girlfriend from New York drug dealers. Having rescued her from their clutches, he realises they will soon be coming after him – so he decides to even the odds by luring them to the Outback for a final showdown. Comedy adventure sequel, starring Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Charles S Dutton.

Crocodile Dundee TShirts

Crocodile Dundee 2 TShirt



Jurassic World (2015) ITV2 7:40pm-10:00pm
Decades on from the creation of Jurassic Park, a fully operational attraction filled with genetically engineered dinosaurs has been opened on the island. In need of a new attraction, the company behind the park creates an entirely new species – but it quickly escapes to terrorise the tourists. Action adventure sequel, starring Chris Pratt and Bryce Dallas Howard.

Jurassic Park Merchandise

Jurassic Park Logo Door Mat

SUNDAY 3rd March

Vice Versa (1988) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm
A department store executive returns from a trip to Thailand in possession of a mysterious artefact that causes him to change places with his 11-year-old son. While the horrified father struggles to cope with a world of teachers and school bullies, the youngster is revelling in the perks of being a grown-up. Fantasy comedy, starring Judge Reinhold, Fred Savage, Swoosie Kurtz and Corinne Bohrer.

You Only Live Twice (1967) ITV 2:10pm-4:25pm
James Bond is sent on a mission to uncover the truth behind the disappearances of Soviet and American space capsules before the mutually suspicious superpowers go to war. The trail leads to Japan, where Bond finally comes face to face with his arch-enemy Blofeld. Spy thriller, starring Sean Connery, Donald Pleasence, Akiko Wakabayashi and Bernard Lee.



Robin Hood (1973) Channel 4 2:35pm-4:20pm
The adventures of the legendary outlaw and Sherwood Forest’s band of heroes as they rob the rich to feed the poor, while evil Prince John hatches a cunning plan to exact revenge and finish off the brigands. Disney animation, with the voices of Terry-Thomas, Peter Ustinov, Phil Harris, Brian Bedford and Monica Evans.

Men in Black II (2002) Film4 5:00pm-6:45pm
Agent J investigates the unauthorised landing of a spacecraft and discovers a malevolent alien disguised as a lingerie model is on the verge of destroying humanity. His only hope of stopping her diabolical plot is to restore the memory of his retired partner K – but his former mentor takes more than a little convincing. Sci-fi comedy sequel, directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Rosario Dawson, Lara Flynn Boyle, Johnny Knoxville, Rip Torn and Tony Shalhoub.

9 to 5 (1980) ITVBe 9:00pm-11:20pm
Three downtrodden female office employees grow fed up with their chauvinistic boss and spend hours daydreaming about getting their own back. Unexpectedly their fantasies become reality when a series of comic mishaps results in their kidnapping him – and teaching him a long-overdue lesson. Comedy, starring Dolly Parton, Jane Fonda, Lily Tomlin and Dabney Coleman.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget the b sides and remember that unless it’s useful or you think it’s beautiful, it’s probably not worth keeping.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 319

Happy snow day! With snow falling faster than the temperature, many people across the land will find themselves leaping into their wellies and heading for the freshish patch of white stuff for some good old fashioned fun!
Looking to simply thaw out? We’ve got you sorted with our huge run down of top retro films beaming their way into your home this weekend. Enjoy!

SATURDAY 2nd February

Muppet Treasure Island (1996) E4 11:40am-1:45pm
A youngster finds a treasure map and joins an expedition searching for a famous buccaneer’s lost treasure on an unexplored island. However, their mission falls foul of a band of pirates hiding out among the crew. Musical comedy based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, starring Tim Curry, Billy Connolly, Jennifer Saunders and Kevin Bishop alongside the puppet characters.

The Muppets Clothing

Rock On Animal The Muppets Rolled Sleeve Boyfriend T-Shirt



The Mummy (1999) ITV2 1:40pm-4:00pm
A soldier of fortune joins an academic and her conniving brother on an expedition to an ancient Egyptian lost city. The explorers accidentally cause the spirit of a vengeful priest with awe-inspiring supernatural powers to rise from his tomb, leading to a desperate battle for survival. Fantasy action adventure, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo and Oded Fehr.

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) Channel 5 3:00pm-5:15pm
Penniless Charlie Bucket is one of five lucky children who find a golden ticket in a chocolate bar, winning a once-in-a-lifetime tour of eccentric recluse Willy Wonka’s magical sweet company. Unfortunately, the other winners each face a grim fate when they start to misbehave. Tim Burton’s children’s fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, Helena Bonham Carter, and Deep Roy playing all the Oompa Loompas.

Roald Dahl Merchandise

Roald Dahl Charlie And The Chocolate Factory China Tea For One Set



Antz (1998) ITV2 4:00pm-5:45pm
A neurotic worker ant passes himself off as a soldier to impress a princess. However, he provokes a jealously ambitious general with an accidental act of heroism – so he and his beloved decide to flee the brutal colony and go in search of the promised land of Insectopia. Animated comedy, with the voices of Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman and Sylvester Stallone.

Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) 4:40pm-7:15pm
Feisty heroine Annie and her new boyfriend Alex take a cruise in the Bahamas, but the trip becomes a nightmare when they discover a vengeful computer genius – a former employee laid off because of his terminal illness – is also on board. He has secretly programmed the ship to crash into an oil tanker while he steals a cache of diamonds from the cargo. Action thriller sequel, with Sandra Bullock, Jason Patric and Willem Dafoe.

Deep Impact (1998) BBC2 6:40pm-8:30pm
A TV reporter investigating a presidential misdemeanour stumbles on evidence that a comet is on a collision course with Earth, threatening the future of the human race. Meanwhile, an astronaut prepares to lead his crew on a do-or-die mission to intercept the danger. Sci-fi drama, starring Robert Duvall, Tea Leoni, Morgan Freeman and Elijah Wood.

Men in Black II (2002) Film4 7:15pm-9:00pm
Agent J investigates the unauthorised landing of a spacecraft and discovers a malevolent alien disguised as a lingerie model is on the verge of destroying humanity. His only hope of stopping her diabolical plot is to restore the memory of his retired partner K – but his former mentor takes more than a little convincing. Sci-fi comedy sequel, directed by Barry Sonnenfeld, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Rosario Dawson, Lara Flynn Boyle, Johnny Knoxville, Rip Torn and Tony Shalhoub.

The Last of the Mohicans (1992) Dave 9:00pm-11:10pm
An orphaned settler in North America is adopted by the last member of a native tribe following the death of his family. The child grows to become legendary frontiersman Hawkeye, who rescues and falls in love with a British officer’s daughter during the Anglo-French War. But a bitter Huron war chief is determined to take revenge against her father by killing her. Michael Mann’s historical adventure, based on James Fenimore Cooper’s classic tale, starring Daniel Day-Lewis, Madeleine Stowe, Russell Means, Wes Studi, Maurice Roeves and Eric Schweig.

SUNDAY 3rd February

Thunderbirds Are Go! (1966) Film4 11:00am-1:05pm
International Rescue is called in to save the first manned space mission to Mars from sinister hijacker The Hood, and ensure a second attempt goes to plan. Puppet adventure based on Gerry Anderson’s TV series, featuring the voices of Shane Rimmer, Ray Barrett, Alexander Davion, Peter Dyneley, Sylvia Anderson and Cliff Richard, voicing a puppet version of himself.

James and the Giant Peach (1996) Sony Movie Channel 12:40pm-2:15pm
An unhappy orphan living with his cruel aunts discovers a gigantic peach growing in the garden. Venturing inside, he meets six friendly insects and together they embark on a magical journey. Animated and live-action fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Paul Terry, Joanna Lumley and Miriam Margolyes and featuring the voices of Susan Sarandon and Richard Dreyfuss.

James and the Giant Peach clothing

Roald Dahl What A Peach Sport Grey T-Shirt

Stuart Little (1999) Film4 1:05pm-2:45pm
An American couple decides their son needs a brother, and plan to adopt another child – but when they get to the orphanage they are greeted by a charming talking mouse named Stuart, who fits the bill perfectly. However, their jealous cat hatches a plot to get rid of the new arrival. Comedy adventure, starring Geena Davis and Hugh Laurie, with the voice of Michael J Fox.

Goldfinger (1964) ITV 2:15pm-4:30pm
James Bond is assigned to investigate a notorious German gold smuggler and discovers his quarry has ambitions much greater than first suspected. Pursuing the criminal mastermind around the world, Bond uncovers the villain’s audacious scheme to destroy the global economy with a daring attack on Fort Knox. Spy adventure, starring Sean Connery, Gert Frobe and Honor Blackman.



Batteries Not Included (1987) Sony Movie Channel 2:15pm-4:25pm
A family of tiny alien spacecraft intervenes to help the residents of a run-down Manhattan brownstone tenement stop greedy developers from demolishing their homes. However, the miniature flying saucers have the odds stacked against them as they bravely do all they can to save the day. Sci-fi fantasy, starring Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Frank McRae and Elizabeth Pena.

Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977) ITV2 3:50pm-6:25pm
Farm boy Luke Skywalker is thrust into an intergalactic battle between good and evil while trying to rescue a spirited princess from the clutches of the evil Darth Vader. En route, he is helped by a cocky space pilot, a veteran warrior, two bickering robots and a hairy 8ft alien. Sci-fi adventure directed by George Lucas, with Mark Hamill, Harrison Ford, Carrie Fisher, Alec Guinness and Peter Cushing.

Official Star Wars Clothing

Star Wars Pyjamas



Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989) Channel 5 4:30pm-6:15pm
A professor invents a ray with the power to reduce objects in size. Unfortunately, his kids and their meddling friends activate it and are shrunk to microscopic proportions. When they are accidentally thrown out with the rubbish, the children have to contend with all kinds of animals and insects on their journey home across the backyard. Disney comedy, with Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman and Amy O’Neill.

Home Alone (1990) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

Home Alone Jumpers

Navy Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal Home Alone Christmas Sweater



Blade II (2002) 5STAR 9:00pm-11:20pm
The half-vampire swordsman teams up with his lifelong foes to defeat mutant bloodsuckers who lack many of the usual weaknesses of their kind and are preying on humans and vampires alike. Guillermo del Toro’s fantasy action thriller sequel, starring Wesley Snipes, Kris Kristofferson, Leonor Varela, Norman Reedus and Luke Goss.

whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep warm, stay safe and never turn down the challenge of a snowball fight!

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 318

The weekend? So soon? Boy did that go fast! Coming your way thicker and faster than a fully loaded train on the hill, we find ourselves awash with more classic retro films that we know what to do with! Sadly, we can’t watch them all, but we can sure give a whole heap of them a good go! Enjoy.

SATURDAY 26th January

Close Encounters of the Third Kind: The Director’s Cut (1977) Channel 5 11:45am-2:30pm
An electrical repairman sees a fleet of UFOs flying overhead and afterwards becomes obsessed with images of a mountain, driving his wife to despair. Meanwhile, a woman develops a similar fixation after her son vanishes, and a team of scientists investigates a series of strange events around the world – until they are all drawn to Devil’s Tower in Wyoming, where the aliens are about to make contact. An alternate cut of Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi drama, with Richard Dreyfuss, Francois Truffaut and Teri Garr.



Dr Dolittle (1998) Film4 3:45pm-5:25pm
A doctor is stunned to discover he can talk to animals, and it is not long before his home and surgery are taken over by an assortment of ailing creatures in need of help. However, when the medic’s odd behaviour attracts his colleagues’ attention, he is forced to rely on his new-found furry friends to save him from the asylum. Comedy, starring Eddie Murphy, Ossie Davis and Oliver Platt.

Charlie’s Angels (2000) Sony Movie Channel 4:45pm-6:50pm
Three private investigators are recruited to rescue a computer genius from the clutches of a rival. They discover there is more at stake than they thought, as the captive genius has created a dangerous piece of software that must not fall into the wrong hands. Action adventure, based on the TV series, starring Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu and Bill Murray.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977) ITV4 6:00pm-7:55pm
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.



The Mummy (1999) ITV2 6:45pm-9:00pm
A soldier of fortune joins an academic and her conniving brother on an expedition to an ancient Egyptian lost city. The explorers accidentally cause the spirit of a vengeful priest with awe-inspiring supernatural powers to rise from his tomb, leading to a desperate battle for survival. Fantasy action adventure, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo and Oded Fehr.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Sony Movie Channel 6:50pm-9:00pm
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Clothing

Men's Charcoal Marl Distressed Logo Glow In The Dark Ghostbusters T-Shirt



Edward Scissorhands (1990) E4 7:00pm-9:00pm
A reclusive genius creates a boy but dies before completing him, leaving his brainchild with scissor-like blades in place of hands. A kindly woman from a nearby suburb takes pity on the lonely figure and welcomes him into her home. He quickly becomes a hit in the neighbourhood – but then his new friends start to turn against him. Tim Burton’s fantasy, starring Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest and Vincent Price.



Rocky (1976) ITV 10:45pm-1:00am
Philadelphia brawler Rocky Balboa gets a shot at the world heavyweight title when current champion Apollo Creed decides to give an unknown boxer a chance in celebration of America’s bicentennial. Oscar-winning drama, starring Sylvester Stallone, Burgess Meredith, Talia Shire, Burt Young and Carl Weathers.

SUNDAY 27th January

Muppet Treasure Island (1996) E4 12:00pm-2:05pm
A youngster finds a treasure map and joins an expedition searching for a famous buccaneer’s lost treasure on an unexplored island. However, their mission falls foul of a band of pirates hiding out among the crew. A musical comedy based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, starring Tim Curry, Billy Connolly, Jennifer Saunders and Kevin Bishop alongside the puppet characters.

From Russia with Love (1963) ITV 2:15pm-4:30pm
James Bond is sent to steal a top-secret Soviet decoding machine and ends up helping its operator defect to the West. However, he discovers the mission is really a trap set by international crime syndicate Spectre, and struggles to evade his would-be assassins. Spy thriller, starring Sean Connery, Robert Shaw, Daniela Bianchi and Lotte Lenya.



Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) Channel 5 3:45pm-6:00pm
Penniless Charlie Bucket is one of five lucky children who find a golden ticket in a chocolate bar, winning a once-in-a-lifetime tour of eccentric recluse Willy Wonka’s magical sweet company. Unfortunately, the other winners each face a grim fate when they start to misbehave. Tim Burton’s children’s fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, Helena Bonham Carter, and Deep Roy playing all the Oompa Loompas.

Roald Dahl Gifts

Roald Dahl Charlie And The Chocolate Factory China Tea Cup & Saucer Set



Antz (1998) ITV2 4:00pm-5:45pm
A neurotic worker ant passes himself off as a soldier to impress a princess. However, he provokes a jealously ambitious general with an accidental act of heroism – so he and his beloved decide to flee the brutal colony and go in search of the promised land of Insectopia. Animated comedy, with the voices of Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman and Sylvester Stallone.

Short Circuit (1986) Film4 4:25pm-6:25pm
A military robot is struck by lightning and develops a mind of its own. The machine embarks on a series of comic misadventures, but the company that made him wants him back. He realises his only hope is to convince the scientist who invented him that he really is alive. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Steve Guttenberg, Ally Sheedy and Fisher Stevens.



The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) ITV2 5:45pm-9:00pm
Unassuming hobbit Bilbo Baggins is pulled out of his comfortable life when Gandalf the wizard volunteers him for a dangerous quest. He joins a party of dwarves who are on a mission to reclaim their lost homeland, which has been taken over by a dragon. When the group journeys into the Misty Mountains, Bilbo becomes separated from the dwarves and falls into a cave, where he finds himself confronted by Gollum and forced to play a riddle game. It is set in Middle-earth 60 years before the events of The Lord of the Rings and is the first part of Peter Jackson’s fantasy adventure trilogy based on JRR Tolkien’s novel, starring Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage, James Nesbitt, Ken Stott, Cate Blanchett, Ian Holm and Christopher Lee.

X-Men 2 (2003) Film4 6:25pm-9:00pm
Mutant heroes the X-Men are forced into an uneasy alliance with arch-enemy Magneto to battle a common foe. Following an attempt on the US president’s life, a sinister military scientist launches a raid on Professor Xavier’s school and hatches a plan to rid the world of all mutants. Superhero adventure sequel, starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Alan Cumming, Halle Berry and Brian Cox.

The Day After Tomorrow (2004) E4 8:00pm-10:20pm
A climatologist warns global warming will soon result in destructive freak weather or even another ice age. He thinks the world still has time to prepare for the worst, but the crisis happens almost immediately – and as storms, earthquakes and hurricanes strike in terrifying fashion, he races across America to rescue his son from a frozen New York. Disaster thriller, with Jake Gyllenhaal and Dennis Quaid.

Fun fact: 20th Century Fox invited a group of scientists to preview the film, to test their reactions to the science used in the film. None of the scientists were impressed with what they saw, although most conceded that the movie was enjoyable nonsense.

Air Force One (1997) 5STAR 9:00pm-11:30pm
The American president is forced to take drastic measures to save his family when their plane is hijacked by Russian terrorists demanding the release of a jailed radical general. Meanwhile, the vice president tries to manage the crisis from Washington and has to decide whether to shoot the aircraft down. Action thriller, starring Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman, Glenn Close, Dean Stockwell and William H Macy.

Jaws 3 (1983) ITV4 9:00pm-11:05pm
A shark is captured by divers and put on display in a Florida marine centre, where it ultimately dies. However, examination of the body reveals the seemingly fully-grown shark was actually a baby – and its enormous, ferocious mother soon comes looking for it. Thriller sequel, originally released in cinemas in 3D, starring Dennis Quaid, Simon MacCorkindale, Louis Gossett Jr and Bess Armstrong.

Jaws Clothing and Accessories

Jaws Pin Badge Set

Whatever you’re up this weekend, remember that sometimes the quietest people in the room often have the most interesting things to say.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 317

And just like that… the retro movie rundown is back for another week! Packed with familiar faces and more laughts and action than you would possibly shake a stick it, it’s officially time to kick back and enjoy some of these total classics. Enjoy!

SATURDAY 19th January

Gold (1974) Sony Movie Channel 1:05pm-3:45pm
A South African engineer is appointed a general manager of a gold mine and exposes a conspiracy to boost the price of the ore by drilling into an underground lake beneath where the company is digging, causing a devastating flood. Action adventure based on a novel by Wilbur Smith, starring Roger Moore, Susannah York, Ray Milland, Bradford Dillman and John Gielgud.

Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix
(2007) ITV2 3:15pm-5:55pm
The young wizard struggles to convince his fellow sorcerers that the evil Lord Voldemort has returned to life. When Hogwarts headmaster Dumbledore is ousted in favour of a sadistic replacement, Harry realises he must take matters into his own hands, uniting his fellow pupils to form a secret army and training them for the inevitable confrontation to come. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Gary Oldman, Michael Gambon and Alan Rickman.

Harry Potter Merchandise

Harry Potter Wallet



Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) ITV2 5:55pm-9:00pm
The young wizard is given the task of uncovering the secrets of Lord Voldemort’s past as the evil sorcerer’s henchmen cause havoc in both the magical and Muggle worlds. With the help of headmaster Dumbledore, Harry ventures into the memories of those who knew the Dark Lord during his early years, hoping to gain an insight into the secret behind his apparent immortality. However, Voldemort’s influence extends much closer to home than expected, as Harry’s rival Malfoy is chosen to carry out a sinister mission. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Michael Gambon, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Tom Felton and Alan Rickman.

Harry Potter Gifts

Harry Potter Potion Bottle Light



Men in Black (1997) Film4 7:05pm-9:00pm
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.



Smokey and the Bandit (1977) ITV4 8:05pm-10:10pm
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.



Rambo III (1988) ITV 10:45pm-12:35am
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

SUNDAY 20th January

Death Becomes Her (1992) ITV3 10:50am-12:50pm
Two romantic rivals are both granted the secret of eternal youth by a mysterious mystic. However, as they battle to get their claws into a plastic surgeon, they discover their now-immortal bodies are capable of taking whatever damage they can dish out. Black comedy fantasy, starring Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis and Isabella Rossellini.



See No Evil, Hear No Evil (1989) Sony Movie Channel 12:30pm-2:25pm
A blind man and his deaf friend go on the run to clear themselves of a trumped-up murder charge. However, all kinds of oddball characters are on their trail, determined to get hold of a top-secret microchip that the duo do not realise they have. Comedy, starring Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder, Kevin Spacey, Joan Severance, Alan North and Anthony Zerbe.

Dr No (1962) ITV 2:15pm-4:30pm
James Bond travels to the Caribbean to investigate the murder of a fellow agent, leading to a confrontation with a mysterious criminal mastermind hatching a plot to sabotage the US space programme. The first in the long-running spy thriller series, starring Sean Connery, Ursula Andress, Jack Lord and Joseph Wiseman.

Overboard (1987) Channel 5 2:40pm-4:55pm
A wealthy heiress suffers amnesia after falling overboard from her yacht. A rough-hewn carpenter and father of four steps in and claims to be her husband – but only to avenge himself for her previous ill-treatment of him, which she has no recollection of. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Kurt Russell, Roddy McDowall and Edward Herrmann.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 1 (2010) ITV2 3:50pm-6:35pm
The dark lord Voldemort rises to ultimate power over the magical world, so the teenage wizard and his friends set out on a mission to find the magical Horcruxes – artefacts containing parts of the evil wizard’s soul that hold the key to destroying him. The first half of the two-part conclusion to the fantasy saga, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Ralph Fiennes, Emma Watson and Rupert Grint.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Sony Movie Channel 4:45pm-6:55pm
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Merchandise

Ghostbusters Proton Pack Backpack



Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 6:55pm-9:00pm
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Matilda Merchandise

Roald Dahl Matilda China Tea Cup & Saucer Set

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows: Part 2 (2011) ITV2 6:35pm-9:00pm
The teenage wizard continues his search for the artefacts containing fragments of the dark lord Voldemort’s soul. Time is running out, as the evil sorcerer is aware of Harry’s mission, and marshals his forces for a final, devastating attack on Harry and his friends at Hogwarts school. The conclusion of the fantasy saga, with Daniel Radcliffe, Ralph Fiennes, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Alan Rickman.

Edward Scissorhands (1990) E4 6:50pm-9:00pm
A reclusive genius creates a boy but dies before completing him, leaving his brainchild with scissor-like blades in place of hands. A kindly woman from a nearby suburb takes pity on the lonely figure and welcomes him into her home. He quickly becomes a hit in the neighbourhood – but then his new friends start to turn against him. Tim Burton’s fantasy, starring Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest and Vincent Price.



The Transporter (2002) Film4 10:50pm-12:35am
An underworld courier lives by a simple code – to never ask what he is transporting. However, when he discovers his latest cargo is alive, his conscience gets the better of him and he faces a dangerous game of cat and mouse with his unknown but powerful employers. Action adventure, starring Jason Statham, Shu Qi, Matt Schulze and Francois Berleand.



Whatever you’re up to this weekend, try starting that thing you’ve been putting off doing for a while, it won’t be so bad.