The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 125

Knights Templar! It’s the weekend all over again!

Like a great, tall, dark and powerful knight getting ready for the next battle, we’ll strap and tie on our shiny retro movie greatness as our armor against boredom before mounting our noble steed of cinematic greatness and ride into this weekends movie adventures. Let us ride into enemy lines and return with their treasures of gold, minerals and celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 22nd NOVEMBER

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Dungeons and Dragons (2000)
ITV2 2:30pm-4:35pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
In a fantasy kingdom ruled over by powerful wizards, a young empress plans to use their powers to bring peace and prosperity for all. However, an evil sorcerer plots to use a magic sceptre to force dragons to do his bidding so he can seize control. The only hope is to obtain an even more powerful mystical artifact, so a pair of thieves are sent on a quest to find it. Fantasy adventure, starring Jeremy Irons, Thora Birch, Marlon Wayans and Lee Arenberg.

Street Fighter (1994) 5* 3:35pm-5:35pm (2 hours)
A military officer goes in search of a power-mad general who is holding several hostages in a secret location. He soon finds he is not the only one on the maniac’s trail, and joins forced with a mismatched band of martial artists to save the captives. Action adventure based on the video game, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Kylie Minogue and Ming-Na Wen.

Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) Film4 4:55pm-7:05pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Captain Picard and the Enterprise crew uncover a conspiracy by their own superiors and a sinister alien race to take over a peaceful world and exploit its power to prolong life. However, the crew is forced to defy Federation orders and turns renegade to protect the planet’s inhabitants. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, F Murray Abraham, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner and Michael Dorn.

Innerspace (1987) 5* 5:35pm-8:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A Navy test pilot is shrunk in a ground-breaking scientific experiment, but instead of being injected into a laboratory rabbit, the tiny specimen accidentally winds up inside a hypochondriac supermarket worker. As he tries to find a way out, criminals come after the unlikely duo in search of the secret of the miniaturising technology. Sci-fi comedy, starring Dennis Quaid, Martin Short, Meg Ryan, Kevin McCarthy, Fiona Lewis and Vernon Wells.

Fun Fact: All of the cells seen outside the pod were in fact made out of Jello according to Peter Kuran, the special effects supervisor.

A View to a Kill (1985) ITV4 9:00pm-11:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
James Bond clashes with a megalomaniac international businessman plotting a global takeover of the computer industry by engineering a devastating earthquake in California’s Silicon Valley – and killing millions in the process. Spy adventure, starring Roger Moore in his final appearance as 007 alongside Christopher Walken, Grace Jones, Tanya Roberts and Patrick Macnee.

The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) Channel 5 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
An amnesiac teacher starts to experience disturbing flashbacks of her former life and hires a private eye to help her learn more about her history. His findings unearth a murky past and her involvement with a shadowy government organisation – whose agents have been dispatched to kill them both. Action thriller, with Geena Davis and Samuel L Jackson, alongside Patrick Malahide, Brian Cox and Craig Bierko.

Raging Bull (1980) ITV4 11:45pm-2:25am (2 hours 40 minutes)
Biopic of boxer Jake LaMotta, who rose to fame as the world middleweight champion in the 1940s. His career was marred by an inability to deal with his anger, leaving his family bearing the brunt of his rage and paranoia. Directed by Martin Scorsese and starring an Oscar-winning Robert De Niro alongside Joe Pesci and Cathy Moriarty.

SUNDAY 23rd NOVEMBER

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Richie Rich (1994)
5* 4:10pm-6:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The world’s wealthiest youngster has everything he could possibly want except friends. When his parents go missing, he must try to keep their fortune out of the clutches of a scheming executive, with the help of some less well-off children. Family comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, John Larroquette, Jonathan Hyde, Edward Herrmann, Christine Ebersole and Mike McShane.

The Truman Show (1998) Sky Movies Comedy 6:10pm-8:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A man is unaware his uneventful life is really a sham, and his every move is being secretly filmed and broadcast to the world as part of a 24-hour TV soap. However, a series of unforeseen events leads him to question the nature of his existence. Peter Weir’s media satire, starring Jim Carrey, Natascha McElhone, Laura Linney, Noah Emmerich and Ed Harris.

Fun Fact: The Trumania bit, where Jim Carrey draws on the mirror with soap and acts strange, was completely improvised by Carrey. In another take he drew long curly hair and a dress.

The Golden Child (1986) Film4 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A private eye is recruited by a group of Buddhist mystics and sent on a mission to rescue an abducted boy whose supernatural powers will enable him to bring about world peace. However, the kidnapper is actually a demon in human form, determined to ensure the youngster does not fulfill his destiny. Comedy fantasy adventure, starring Eddie Murphy, Charles Dance and Charlotte Lewis.

Tron (1982) Sky Movies Disney 8:00pm-9:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A computer genius hacks into the mainframe of the company he used to work for, hoping to find evidence against the executive who stole his ideas. However, the intelligent master program running the system transports him into an electronic world, where he is forced to battle gladiators in a series of deadly games. Disney sci-fi adventure, starring Jeff Bridges, Bruce Boxleitner and David Warner.

First Blood (1982) ITV4 11:35pm-1:40am (2 hours 5 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo is wrongfully arrested in a backwoods town and tested to the limits of his endurance by a brutal deputy. Rambo escapes from his cell and heads out to the woods, and with the forces of the law in hot pursuit he finally has the chance to fight them on his own terms. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Brian Dennehy, Richard Crenna and David Caruso.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember bigger isn’t always better and you can always loose, just don’t loose the lesson.
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 124

Cheese and crackers! It’s time for another weekly retro movie rundown!!

Like one of the top American Football athletes of our time, let us strap and click on our protective pads as we get ready to throw long into the weekends greatest retro movies. We’ll duck and weave our way around even the biggest opponents are we run it home before posing for the moment to be forever captured and shared forever as celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

Saturday 15th November

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Escape from the Planet of the Apes (1971)
More4 11:05am-1:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Intelligent chimpanzees Cornelius and Zira escape the destruction of their planet by travelling back in time to 1970s America. Although initially treated as celebrities, the government comes to regard the pair as a threat to the human race when it transpires that Zira is pregnant. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Sal Mineo and Ricardo Montalban.

Billion Dollar Brain (1967) ITV4 1:05pm-3:15pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Former secret agent Harry Palmer comes out of retirement to take a mysterious canister to Finland, and ends up embroiled in an American megalomaniac’s bid to take over the world. Espionage thriller, directed by Ken Russell and starring Michael Caine, Oscar Homolka and Karl Malden.

The War of the Worlds (1953) Film4 3:25pm-5:10pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A meteor strike in southern California turns out to contain a deadly alien war machine that wipes out anything in its path. This machine is the vanguard of a mass invasion of aliens from Mars, who are intent on wiping out the human race and claiming Earth for themselves. Sci-fi drama, updating HG Wells’ novel to a 20th-century setting, starring Gene Barry, Ann Robinson and Les Tremayne.

Dark Star (1974) Film4 5:10pm-6:50pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A spaceship is sent on a mission to destroy unstable planets. The crew’s pet alien escapes and sets off a sentient bomb, which the astronauts have to persuade not to explode. Sci-fi comedy, the directorial debut of John Carpenter, starring Dan O’Bannon, Brian Narelle, Dre Pahich and Cal Kuniholm.

The Mask (1994) Sky Movies Comedy 6:10pm-8:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A timid bank clerk stumbles on an ancient mask, which endows whoever wears it with untold superhuman powers, unbridled self-confidence and an irresistible charm for the ladies. Unfortunately, he earns the enmity of a local gangster for daring to flirt with his girlfriend – and when the crook gets wind of the artefact’s existence, he covets the power for himself. Comic-book comedy, with Jim Carrey, Cameron Diaz, Peter Riegert and Peter Greene.

Fun Facts: The banana-yellow suit that Jim Carrey wears is based on a suit which his mother made for him for his first attempt at stand-up comedy. This was also Cameron Diaz’s first movie role!

Never Say Never Again (1983) ITV4 9:00pm-11:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
James Bond investigates the hijacking of two American nuclear warheads and tracks the stolen missiles to the Bahamas, where a sinister millionaire working for criminal organisation Spectre is planning to hold the world to ransom. Action adventure, starring Sean Connery, Klaus Maria Brandauer, Kim Basinger, Max von Sydow and Barbara Carrera.

Sunday 16th November

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The Cable Guy (1996)
Sky Movies Comedy 7:45am-9:25am (1 hour 40 minutes)
A man makes the mistake of engaging a cable TV installer in conversation in a ploy to get all the channels for free. However, the manic repairman shows an invincible determination to be his new best friend – and does not take kindly to rejection. Comedy directed by Ben Stiller, starring Jim Carrey, Matthew Broderick and George Segal.

Big Trouble in Little China (1986) Sky Movies Aliens 9:30am-11:15am (1 hour 45 minutes)
A dim-witted and fearless trucker goes in search of his friend’s kidnapped fiancee in San Francisco’s Chinatown. He blunders into a supernatural world ruled by a powerful ghostly sorcerer, who needs the captured woman so he can rejoin the land of the living. Comedy fantasy adventure, starring Kurt Russell, Dennis Dun, Kim Cattrall, James Hong and Victor Wong.

Gremlins (1984) Sky Movies Greats 12:00pm-1:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A teenager is given a strange, cute creature as a Christmas present by his eccentric father and warned to keep it away from water, not to feed it after midnight, or expose it to direct light. However, a chance dousing causes the furball to spawn a horde of murderous little monsters, and their devilish antics bring mayhem to a small town. Comedy horror, with Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, Hoyt Axton and Polly Holliday.

Titanic (1997) Film4 3:20pm-7:05pm (3 hours 45 minutes)
A party of explorers studying the sunken remains of the famous liner meets an elderly woman who was a passenger on the ill-fated maiden voyage. She recounts how she boarded the ship while on the brink of being forced into marriage by her family, and was stopped from killing herself by a penniless artist. She fell in love with her saviour, but the disaster on the horizon meant their time together was doomed to be short. James Cameron’s Oscar-winning romantic drama, starring Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates and Bill Paxton.

Fun Fact: The movie’s line “I’m the king of the world!” was ad-libbed by DiCaprio and was later was voted as #4 of “The 100 Greatest Movie Lines” by Premiere in 2007. The same was voted as the #100 movie quote by the American Film Institute (out of 100).

Dumb and Dumber (1994) Channel 5 5:25pm-7:30pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Dimwitted Rhode Island limousine driver Lloyd Christmas and his equally vacuous friend Harry Dunne embark on a disaster-fraught cross-country trip to Aspen, where they hope to reunite a briefcase with its female owner. However, the pair are unaware the case contains a $1million ransom they would have been better leaving well alone. Farrelly brothers comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels, Lauren Holly, Teri Garr and Mike Starr.

Face/Off (1997) BBC3 11:15pm-1:25am (2 hours 10 minutes)
FBI agent Sean Archer captures terrorist Castor Troy, the man who killed his son. While Troy is in a coma, Archer has the crook’s face surgically grafted onto his own so he can go undercover and locate a bomb planted somewhere in Los Angeles. But then Troy regains consciousness – and in turn takes on Archer’s identity. John Woo’s action thriller, starring Nicolas Cage, John Travolta, Joan Allen, Gina Gershon and Dominique Swain.

Conan the Barbarian (1982) Film4 11:05pm-1:40am (2 hours 35 minutes)
A child who grows up in slavery becomes a formidable warrior and a cunning thief. Taken prisoner by a victorious king, he is sent out to destroy the leader of the barbaric cult that destroyed his village and slaughtered his family. Fantasy adventure, based on the stories by author Robert E Howard, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Max von Sydow, James Earl Jones and Sandahl Bergman.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you stop, look and listen and start from the outside in.
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 113

Great Barrier Reef! Is it nearly the weekend already?!

So, like a brightly blue coloured Surgeonfish, we’ll scurry our way around in our ever growing school of friends, navigating the maze of tropical coral that’s teaming with life and colour on the hunt for food and shelter away from the bigger and more menacing movie monsters of the sea. We’ll scratch around and uncover some retro movie classics, always looking for our next fix of celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 30th AUGUST

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) 5* 4:05pm-5:50pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

Jurassic Park III (2001) ITV2 7:35pm-9:25pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Palaeontologist Dr Alan Grant is lured to a dinosaur-infested island by a divorced couple who offer to fund his research, unaware their real motive is to find their missing son – and that the creatures on the island are far more intelligent than anyone suspected. Action adventure sequel, starring Sam Neill, William H Macy, Tea Leoni and Alessandro Nivola.

Jurassic Park T-Shirts

Airplane! (1980) Film4 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The passengers on board an ill-fated airliner become increasingly jittery when the flight crew flounder during a food-poisoning crisis. As ground control personnel struggle heroically to ensure the plane lands safely, a traumatised war veteran must face his fear to take the controls. Spoof disaster movie, starring Robert Hays, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack and Lloyd Bridges.

Fun Fact! For the argument between announcers concerning the white and red zones at the airport, the producers hired the same voice artists who had made the real-world announcements at Los Angeles International Airport. At the real airport, the white zone is for loading and unloading of passengers only, and there’s no stopping in the red zone (except for transit buses). They were also married to each other in real life.

Parenthood (1989) ITV London 10:45pm-1:00am (2 hours 15 minutes)
Anxious family man Gil Buckman is determined to have a better relationship with his three children than he had with his tough father. Elsewhere, his two sisters are also having family problems – one is struggling to understand her two troubled teenagers, while the other’s husband wants to turn their toddler into a child genius. Comedy drama, starring Steve Martin, Keanu Reeves, Mary Steenburgen, Jason Robards and Dianne Wiest.

SUNDAY 31st AUGUST

The Borrowers (1997) ITV London 1:30pm-3:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A family of four-inch-high people living beneath the floorboards of an ordinary human home help the owner’s son fight back when a dastardly lawyer plans to demolish the house and make way for a luxury apartment block. Children’s fantasy, starring John Goodman, Jim Broadbent, Celia Imrie, Flora Newbigin and Tom Felton.

Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986) ITV4 4:15pm-6:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Facing closure from cutbacks in public spending and competition from a more successful academy, the police training school calls on its bungling graduates to act as instructors and make good officers out of a bunch of new recruits even more incompetent than they are. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow and Art Metrano.

The Golden Child (1986) Film4 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A private eye is recruited by a group of Buddhist mystics and sent on a mission to rescue an abducted boy whose supernatural powers will enable him to bring about world peace. However, the kidnapper is actually a demon in human form, determined to ensure the youngster does not fulfil his destiny. Comedy fantasy adventure, starring Eddie Murphy, Charles Dance and Charlotte Lewis.

The Breakfast Club (1985) ITV3 11:05pm-1:10am (2 hours 5 minutes)
Five teenagers who occupy different areas of their school’s social structure are thrown together for a Saturday morning detention. During the day, they analyse their behaviour and find unexpected common ground. Drama, directed by John Hughes and starring Emilio Estevez, Judd Nelson, Molly Ringwald, Anthony Michael Hall, Ally Sheedy and Paul Gleason.

Fun Fact: The film’s gut-wrenching heart-to-heart, where all five kids spill deep, dark secrets, was actually ad-libbed.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember to leave a tip and don’t forget your chargers.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 45!

Alfonso Bonzo! it’s only gone and become the Weekend!

As sure as the Kilimanjaro rises like Olympus above the Serengeti, let us proudly be a parade of dignified Elephants Gallantly marching trunk to tail over the African planes as we search out for you nostalgic cinematic fun, retro movie awesomeness and cinematic celluloid greatness.

Have a happy retro weekend 🙂

SATURDAY 16th MARCH

Private Benjamin (1980)Channel 5 4:05pm-6:10pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A scatterbrained society woman looks for a change of pace after her husband dies on their wedding night, and is tricked by a duplicitous recruiter into enlisting in the army. In spite of the initial culture shock and conflict with her tough commanding officer, she gradually finds direction and self-esteem for the first time in her life. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Armand Assante, Eileen Brennan, Harry Dean Stanton and Sam Wanamaker.

Teen Wolf(1985)5* 4:35pm-6:25pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A teenage misfit is initially dismayed to learn he is a werewolf as a result of a hereditary curse. He finds there are advantages as he becomes a local celebrity, while his enhanced agility makes him the star player of his school’s basketball team – but fame quickly goes to his head. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, James Hampton and Susan Ursitti.

Men's Teen Wolf Fancy Dress Costume £47.99 (free P&P)
Men's Teen Wolf Fancy Dress Costume £47.99 (free P&P)

Good Morning, Vietnam (1987)Film4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A fast-talking US Army disc jockey is sent to entertain the GIs in 1960s Saigon, but he enrages the military top brass by blasting the airwaves with his irreverent and controversial view of the conflict in South-East Asia. Comic drama, starring Robin Williams, Forest Whitaker and Bruno Kirby.

Total Recall (1990)ITV London 10:40pm-12:45am (2 hours 5 minutes)
A construction worker pays to have fake memories of a dream holiday implanted into his brain, but discovers his mind has already been tampered with – apparently to erase his true identity as a secret agent from a colony on Mars. He journeys to the planet in search of the truth, but is drawn into a conflict between the tyrannical ruler and a rebel faction. Paul Verhoeven’s sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Rachel Ticotin and Michael.

SUNDAY 17th MARCH

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995)Channel 5 6:15pm-8:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

Transformers (2007)E4 8:00pm-10:50pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
Teenager Sam Witwicky is treated to his first car by his dad, but it turns out to be an alien scout with a life of its own. Before long, the vehicle embroils Sam in a long-running intergalactic war between two factions of giant shape-changing robots, which have come to Earth to find a mystical cube that grants infinite power to its possessor. Michael Bay’s sci-fi action adventure, inspired by the toy franchise, with Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Jon Voight and John Turturro.

Ghost (1990)Film4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
The spirit of a murdered executive tries to find a way to help his girlfriend bring his killer to justice and enlists the aid of a fraudulent medium – who is amazed and baffled when her psychic abilities turn out to be all too real. Romantic fantasy, starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Tom Goldwyn and an Oscar-winning Whoopi Goldberg.

Tremors (1989)ITV4 9:00pm-10:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A dull American town in the middle of the desert is suddenly attacked by huge man-eating subterranean creatures. Luckily, two dimwitted but brave handymen step into the breach to lead a ragtag bunch of locals and a mismatched pair of survivalists in the battle against the gruesome worm-like monsters. Comedy horror, with Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Finn Carter, Michael Gross, Reba McEntire and Bobby Jacoby.

Ringadingdong! Bonus movie clip time, just a little taster for the weekend enjoy.

Whatever you get up to this weekend remember to always wash behind your ears, stay safe and enjoy yourselves.

Night night