It’s back! Quicker than The Flash to the bar at last orders, another retro movie rundown is here and is sure to take your weekend to whoooole new levels! Kick back and enjoy our top picks hitting the small screen!
SATURDAY 22nd September
The Indian in the Cupboard (1995) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm
A nine-year-old boy is given an old cupboard and a toy Iroquois Indian for his birthday – but when he puts the figure inside the cupboard, he is astonished to see it come to life. He repeats the experiment with more of his toys, and realises he is creating real people – and is responsible for their wellbeing. Children’s fantasy, with Hal Scardino, Litefoot and Steve Coogan.
Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) 5STAR 2:50pm-4:35pm
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.
Rocky IV (1985) ITV4 9:00pm-11:05pm
The Italian Stallion agrees to help former champion Apollo Creed train for a match against a seemingly invincible boxer from the Soviet Union, only to see his friend die as a result of injuries sustained in the fight. Rocky vows to avenge him, and prepares to take on the Russian heavyweight in his own country. Drama sequel, directed by and starring Sylvester Stallone. With Dolph Lundgren, Talia Shire, Carl Weathers and Brigitte Nielsen.
Die Hard 2 (1990) E4 9:00pm-11:25pm
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife, but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.
Enemy of the State (1998) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:45pm
A chance encounter with an old friend derails a successful lawyer’s fast-track career, plunging him headlong into a deadly game of cat and mouse with relentless government agents capable of anticipating his every move. He quickly realises the only way to save his own life is to expose the truths his pursuers seem so intent on covering up, and seeks out a former intelligence agent to take them on at their own game. Thriller, starring Will Smith, Gene Hackman, Jon Voight and Lisa Bonet.
Gone in 60 Seconds (2000) 5Spike 9:00pm-11:20pm
A veteran car thief is forced out of retirement to steal 50 top-of-the-range vehicles in exchange for his brother’s life. While his sibling is held hostage by a sadistic gangster, he asks his former cronies to help – but with the clock ticking and just a few days remaining to pull off the daunting task, their chances of success are hanging by a thread. Thriller, starring Nicolas Cage, Angelina Jolie, Giovanni Ribisi and Robert Duvall.
Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery (1997) 10:00pm-12:00am
A velvet-clad, sex-crazed secret agent from the 1960s agrees to be put into a state of suspended animation after his arch-enemy escapes justice. Thirty years later he is defrosted to do battle with the power-mad villain again, but the mission proves nearly as daunting for him as getting to grips with 1990s social values. Spoof spy adventure, with Mike Myers, Elizabeth Hurley, Mimi Rogers, Michael York and Robert Wagner.
SUNDAY 23rd September
The Flintstones in Viva Rock Vegas (2000) ITV2 1:05pm-2:55pm
Young courting couples Fred and Wilma, and Barney and Betty are invited to stay at a luxury casino in the Stone Age gambling capital. Owner Chip Rockefeller is bent on stopping Fred proposing to wealthy Wilma, because he wants to marry her himself for the money and settle his debts. Family comedy prequel, with Mark Addy, Stephen Baldwin, Joan Collins, Alan Cumming, Kristen Johnston and Jane Krakowski.
Fun Fact: The creators of the original animated series, William Hanna and Joseph Barbera, can be seen briefly during the wedding scene at the end of the picture. There’s one quick shot of the two of them together singing along to the Flintstones theme song.
Phenomenon (1996) Sony Movie Channel 4:20pm-6:55pm
An unassuming car mechanic observes a peculiar bright light one evening on the way home from a bar, and finds himself transformed into a genius with telekinetic powers. However, he is unprepared for the problems that lie ahead, as he struggles to woo a divorced single mother while coping with his new-found gift. Fantasy drama, starring John Travolta, Kyra Sedgwick, Forest Whitaker and Robert Duvall.
Back to the Future Part II (1989) E4 6:50pm-9:00pm
Time-travelling teenager Marty McFly travels to the 21st century, where he has to save his children from a terrible fate. However, this proves to have unforeseen consequences when the future version of arch enemy Biff sees a chance to rewrite history for his own benefit, leaving Marty stuck in a twisted parallel universe. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Michael J Fox and Christopher Lloyd.
Back To The Future Merchandise
Signs (2002) Sony Movie Channel 6:55pm-9:00pm
A former clergyman who has lost his faith since his wife’s death discovers a number of crop circles on his land. Initially believing them to be a prank, he gradually begins to suspect an alien invasion is at hand. As a series of strange and terrifying events takes place, he and his family are forced into hiding in their farmhouse, and must work together to survive. M Night Shyamalan’s sci-fi thriller, starring Mel Gibson and Joaquin Phoenix.
Con Air (1997) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:25pm
A parolee hitches a ride home on a maximum-security flight conveying some of America’s deadliest criminals, and when they hijack the plane in mid-flight he is forced to intervene. Meanwhile, a US marshal has an ongoing battle on the ground to prevent the plane from being blown to pieces. Action thriller, starring Nicolas Cage, John Cusack, John Malkovich, Steve Buscemi, Ving Rhames and Colm Meaney.
Rocky V (1990) ITV4 9:00pm-11:10pm
The heavyweight champion is forced into retirement due to brain damage inflicted in the ring, and finds his fortune has been lost on the stock market by his accountant. Returning to his working-class roots, he trains an up-and-coming fighter, only to see his protege turn against him. Drama sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire and real-life boxer Tommy Morrison.
Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep dry and keep on truckin’.
Smokey bacon sandwiches! It has to be the Weekend!
So, inside a white laboratory, found in the depths of a government run research facility. Let us be your highly intelligent, super smart micro biologist, as we stare into our microscope looking for the secrets of retro movie magic, we’ll splice together neutrons and electrons to create cinematic greatness before we discover the breakthrough that is celluloid wonder.
Have a happy retro weekend!
SATURDAY 3rd MARCH
Greystoke: The Legend of Tarzan, Lord of the Apes (1984) Channel 5 12:30pm-3:05pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
The infant heir of an aristocratic English family is raised by apes in the African jungle after his shipwrecked parents are killed. Years later, he saves the life of a Belgian explorer, who returns him to England so he can claim his birthright. Drama based on Edgar Rice Burroughs’ novel, starring Christopher Lambert, Ian Holm, Andie MacDowell and Ralph Richardson.
Star Wars: Episode I – The Phantom Menace (1999) ITV2 5:45 pm-8:30 pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
Jedi Knights Obi-Wan Kenobi and Qui-Gon Jinn are instructed to protect Queen Amidala when her planet is invaded. Escorting her away from danger, they meet gifted youngster Anakin Skywalker, who seems ideally suited to join the pair’s order – but is unaware of just how powerful he could become. Sci-fi prequel, starring Liam Neeson, Ewan McGregor, Natalie Portman and Ray Park.
Arachnophobia (1990) 5* 5:50pm-8:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A mild-mannered doctor sets up practice in a small town, but a cloud gathers over his career due to a series of unexplained deaths. Before long, he has to convince the locals that a horde of venomous spiders is responsible and confront his intense fear of arachnids into the bargain. Comedy horror, starring Jeff Daniels, John Goodman, Julian Sands and Brian McNamara.
Hot Tub Time Machine (2010) Film4 9:00pm-10:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A man suffering a mid-life crisis tries to recapture his lost youth by going back to his old haunts with two equally unhappy friends and his teenage nephew. They end up being transported back to 1986 and are tempted to give themselves the lives they always wanted – despite warnings that they must not change anything. Sci-fi comedy, starring John Cusack, Clark Duke, Craig Robinson and Rob Corddry.
SUNDAY 4th MARCH
Beethoven (1991) ITV2 12:35pm-2:20pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.
Getting Even with Dad (1994) 5* 1:35pm-3:50pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Spoilt child Timmy goes to live with his outwardly respectable father, but realises he is a small-time thief planning his latest robbery. Timmy sets out to reform his dad, and in the meantime manages to fix him up with an attractive undercover cop – leading to much confusion. Family comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Ted Danson, Glenne Headly and Hector Elizondo.
Stargate (1994) Channel 5 6:45pm-9:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An Egyptologist and a soldier head an expedition through a mysterious portal to an alien planet. The world they find resembles ancient Egypt and is under the rule of a tyrant who has convinced the downtrodden inhabitants that he is a god – until the humans incite the enslaved populace to fight back. Sci-fi adventure, starring Kurt Russell, James Spader and Jaye Davidson.
Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones (2002) ITV2 7:15pm-10:00pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi and apprentice Anakin Skywalker are sent to protect Senator Padme Amidala from an assassin. However, as galactic civil war threatens to erupt, the pair are forced to split their efforts, leading Anakin into an ill-advised romance and the beginnings of a journey toward the dark side. George Lucas’s second prequel to the original sci-fi trilogy, starring Ewan McGregor, Hayden Christensen, Natalie Portman and Christopher Lee.
Whatever you get up to this Weekend remember, put sprinkles on your ice cream and always enjoy yourselves.