The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown! Easter Weekend Special

Easter Bunny’s tail! It’s on the bank holiday weekend!

Like the busy little bunny themselves, we’ve been hopping our way around the moviesphere, reaching high and low for the most tasty and awesome retro movies for all your eager hunters to get your hands on. Creeping around the wilderness, we’ll stumble across some of the best that this weekend has to offer, before taking them home, unwrapping and gorging ourselves on top classic film goodness until we’re fit to burst!

Have a happy retro weekend!

FRIDAY 3rd April

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Kiki’s Delivery Service
(1989) Film4 11:00am-1:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A witch moves to a new town with her talking cat, hoping to forge a life for herself. Despite the objections of the locals, a kindly baker offers her a job delivering bread by broom – but events take a strange turn when she suddenly loses her powers. Animated fantasy from Spirited Away director Hayao Miyazaki, with the voices of Minami Takayama and Rei Sakuma. In Japanese.

Fantastic Mr Fox (2009) More4 11:30am-1:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A rebellious fox decides it is time to grow up and change his chicken-stealing ways for the sake of his wife and children. However, the presence of three wicked farmers near his woodland home proves a challenge he cannot resist. Stop-motion animated adventure based on the novel by Roald Dahl, with the voices of George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray.

Fantastic Mr Fox Merchandise

Sleepless in Seattle (1993) GOLD 12:35pm-2:45pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A widowed father is coping badly with his wife’s death, but his son is convinced that what he really needs is some new romance in his life. He arranges for his dad to go on a radio phone-in show, and his touching story moves a reporter to respond, even though she is already engaged. She returns to her fiance, but the boy, certain she is the woman for his father, plots to bring them together. Romantic comedy, with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

Fun Fact: The scene between Tom Hanks and Victor Garber crying over the movie The Dirty Dozen (1967) was completely improvised during the take.

My Girl (1991) Watch 1:00pm-3:00pm (2 hours)
A lonely 11-year-old tomboy feels responsible for her mother’s death, but a boy’s friendship helps her get through her emotional problems. Meanwhile, when she realises her father is falling in love with his new employee, she sets out to do all she can to end the romance. Drama, starring Anna Chlumsky, Macaulay Culkin, Dan Aykroyd and Jamie Lee Curtis.

The Simpsons Movie (2007) Film4 5:10pm-6:55pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Homer unwittingly pollutes Lake Springfield, so the US government decides to isolate the city underneath a giant dome. The Simpsons manage to escape and plan to start a new life in Alaska – but learn Springfield is about to be destroyed, and return to save their friends. With the voices of Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright and Yeardley Smith.

Simpsons T-Shirts

A Fish Called Wanda (1988) ITV London 10:15pm-12:15am (2 hours)
A stuffy English barrister representing a jewel thief is targeted by his client’s partners in crime – a seductive American crook and her dim-witted would-be philosopher lover who will go to any lengths to discover where the diamonds from their last heist have been hidden. Crime comedy, starring John Cleese, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Kline, Michael Palin and Tom Georgeson.

SATURDAY4th April

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Look Who’s Talking
(1989) GOLD 9:10am-11:05am (1 hour 55 minutes)
Pregnant Mollie is dumped by her boyfriend, and sets out after the baby’s birth to find a surrogate father for her infant son Mikey, who comments on proceedings through a wisecracking inner monologue. Mikey is confident the cab driver who helped deliver him is the perfect man for the job – but his mother is less than convinced. Comedy, with John Travolta, Kirstie Alley and the voice of Bruce Willis.

Carry On Screaming (1966) ITV3 3:10pm-5:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A sinister boffin, his sultry sister and two genetic misfits kidnap innocent women from spooky Hocomb Woods and turn them into mannequins – but two dim-witted detectives look set to throw a spanner in the works. Comedy horror, starring Kenneth Williams, Fenella Fielding, Harry H Corbett, Charles Hawtrey, Jim Dale, Joan Sims and Bernard Bresslaw.

Batteries Not Included (1987) Syfy 3:50pm-6:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A family of tiny alien spacecraft intervenes to help the residents of a run-down Manhattan brownstone tenement stop greedy developers from demolishing their homes. However, the miniature flying saucers have the odds stacked against them as they bravely do all they can to save the day. Sci-fi fantasy, starring Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Frank McRae and Elizabeth Pena.

Matilda (1996) Comedy Central 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours)
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Matilda Merchandise

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989) Comedy Central 6:00pm-8:00pm (2 hours)
A professor invents a ray with the power to reduce objects in size. Unfortunately, his kids and their meddling friends trigger it off and are shrunk to microscopic proportions. When they are accidentally thrown out with the rubbish, the children have to contend with all kinds of animals and insects on their journey home across the backyard. Disney comedy, with Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman and Amy O’Neill.

The Goonies (1985) Sky1 8:30pm-10:45pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Seven youngsters discover an old map and set out on the adventure of a lifetime to save their homes from a land developer by finding a legendary pirate’s hidden treasure. However, they first have to navigate a series of booby-trapped underground caverns and outwit a family of crooks also after the loot. Children’s adventure, starring Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin and Martha Plimpton.

The Goonies T-Shirts

Pretty Woman (1990) BBC3 9:10pm-11:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A ruthless millionaire hires a prostitute while on a business trip. Realising she may be useful in helping him keep up a successful appearance, he pays her to accompany him for a week as he associates with the rich and powerful – but falls in love despite their many differences. Romantic comedy, starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, with Ralph Bellamy and Laura San Giacomo.

Fun Fact: Richard Gere is actually playing the piano. He also composed the piece of music that is played.

SUNDAY 5th April

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Patch Adams
(1998) Channel 5 12:05pm-2:20pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A talented student doctor turns the medical community upside down with his offbeat views about the healing power of laughter. His methods provoke outrage and intense debate among his professors – but his extrovert nature brightens the lives of all kinds of patients. Comedy drama, starring Robin Williams, Monica Potter, Daniel London, Bob Gunton and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Hook (1991) Comedy Central 1:15pm-4:00pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992) Channel 4 2:55pm-4:40pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A scientist perfects a device for making objects grow when they come into contact with electricity. Unfortunately, his two-year-old son is accidentally turned into a giant and goes on the rampage through the streets of Las Vegas. Disney comedy sequel, starring Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman, Robert Oliveri and Lloyd Bridges.

Clueless (1995) Film4 3:10pm-5:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A rich high-school student uses all her charm and financial clout to boost an awkward new pupil’s image, but soon finds she has created a monster – while her own popularity suffers in the process. Comedy inspired by Jane Austen’s Emma, starring Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy and Paul Rudd.

Clueless T-Shirts

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) ITV2 3:15pm-5:35pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A lonely boy befriends an alien who has been left stranded on Earth. The two develop a psychic connection as the boy helps the extraterrestrial to contact his own people and call for rescue. However, living on Earth starts to have a devastating effect on the visitor’s health, and a government operative is determined to capture him for study. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi fantasy, starring Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace and Peter Coyote.

K-9 (1989) Syfy 5:00pm-7:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A hard-bitten cop’s bad attitude forces his superiors to take desperate measures to find him a new partner on the eve of what could turn out to be the biggest case of his career – and the solution is to pair him up with a lovable Alsatian that will put him through his paces. Comedy, starring James Belushi, Mel Harris and Ed O’Neill.

Superman Returns (2006) Watch 5:55pm-9:00pm (3 hours 5 minutes)
The Man of Steel returns to Earth after an absence of several years to find his lost love Lois Lane has moved on with her life. Meanwhile, arch-villain Lex Luthor is out of jail and about to wreak havoc on the world with technology stolen from Superman’s home planet of Krypton. Comic-book adventure from X-Men director Bryan Singer, with Brandon Routh, Kevin Spacey, Kate Bosworth and Parker Posey.

Superman T-Shirts

Last Action Hero (1993) Watch 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
A boy watching an action movie is transported into the film by a magic ticket and meets its hero figure, who refuses to believe he is a fictional character. Matters take a turn for the worse when the screen villain gets hold of the ticket and crosses over into the real world – where bad guys can win. Comedy adventure, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin O’Brien, Charles Dance, F Murray Abraham and Anthony Quinn.

MONDAY 6th April

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The Dark Crystal
(1982) Channel 4 12:25pm-2:10pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

Dark Crystal T-Shirts

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) 5USA 1:05pm-4:00pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
Eccentric inventor Caractacus Potts rescues an old car from the scrapheap, only to discover it has magical, gravity-defying powers. Meanwhile, Baron Bomburst, the blundering ruler of Vulgaria, will do anything to get his greedy hands on it. Children’s musical adventure, based on the book by Ian Fleming, starring Dick Van Dyke, Lionel Jeffries, Sally Ann Howes, Gert Frobe, Benny Hill and James Robertson Justice.

Groundhog Day (1993) GOLD 2:45pm-4:45pm (2 hours)
An obnoxious TV weatherman reporting on a small town’s annual festival finds himself caught in a bizarre time loop, and is forced to relive the same day over and over again. While at first he tries to exploit his predicament, he is ultimately driven to mend his ways and adopt a less cynical attitude. Comedy, starring Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell, Chris Elliott and Stephen Tobolowsky.

10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Film4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
Lively teenager Bianca is not allowed to start dating until her man-hating sister Kat does first – but no boy is brave enough to ask her out. However, Bianca’s would-be boyfriend thinks he has found the perfect man for the job in the shape of a quirky loner with a mysterious past. Comedy, based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, starring Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Larisa Oleynik.

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) BBC3 8:10pm-10:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Intrepid archaeologist Indiana Jones goes in search of the legendary Ark of the Covenant, a biblical artefact of devastating power. His quest leads him to Egypt, where the Nazis are plotting to use the Ark to further Hitler’s plans for world domination – aided by Jones’s deceitful French rival. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, with Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Paul Freeman and John Rhys-Davies.

Fun Fact: Most of the body blows you hear were created by hitting a pile of leather jackets with a baseball bat.

Whatever you’re up to this loooong weekend, make sure you find every last egg before a hot Summer and remember that even the smallest gifts and be the most special.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 130

Well Turkey sandwiches and mince pies! It’s only the weekend and that was only Christmas!

With a house still full of empty boxes, piles of wrapping paper and presents that are yet to be explored, our retro film review rolls on through to help clear a path and steer the ship of television greatness ever forward to far and great lands where treasures and adventures only found in the deepest of dreams await. We’ll tuck into the Christmas remains before sitting back to gaze at the weekend’s celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 27th DECEMBER

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Star Trek: The Motion Picture
(1979) Film4 1:10pm-3:50pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
A mysterious, planet-sized energy cloud is heading for Earth, destroying everything in its path. Admiral James T Kirk returns to the bridge of the Enterprise to stop the invader, but he has to contend with a bitter rival and the possession of one of his crew by the alien force. Sci-fi adventure, the first movie based on the TV series, starring William Shatner, Leonard Nimoy, DeForest Kelley and Persis Khambatta.

The Secret Garden (1993) Channel 5 12:45pm-2:45pm (2 hours)
An orphan is sent to live with her uncle in his forbidding Yorkshire mansion, where she meets her bedridden cousin – a boy she knew nothing about. She also stumbles across a marvellous but neglected garden, and sets about nursing them both back to health, with the help of a lad from a nearby village. Children’s drama, based on Frances Hodgson Burnett’s book, with Kate Maberly, Heydon Prowse, Andrew Knott, Maggie Smith and John Lynch.

Back to the Future Part III (1990) ITV London 2:30pm-4:40pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Time-travelling teenager Marty McFly is transported back to the days of the Wild West, where he strives to save his eccentric scientist friend Doc Brown from death at the hands of a villainous gunslinger. Final instalment in the sci-fi comedy trilogy, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Mary Steenburgen and Thomas F Wilson.

The Lost World: Jurassic Park (1997) ITV2 4:35pm-7:10pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
Scientist Dr Ian Malcolm reluctantly joins a research team on the island where his employer first designed genetically engineered dinosaurs. Meanwhile, a big-game hunter takes the chance to bag the biggest prize of all – a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Steven Spielberg’s dinosaur adventure sequel, starring Jeff Goldblum, Julianne Moore, Pete Postlethwaite and Richard Attenborough.

Predator 2 (1990) Sky1 10:00pm-12:05am (2 hours 5 minutes)
A Los Angeles cop, working to bring down the city’s drug gangs, suspects Jamaican criminals when he discovers several of his targets killed and skinned alive. However, the culprit behind the murders reveals himself to be an alien big-game hunter – with the stealth and guile to outwit the police and criminals alike. Sci-fi sequel, starring Danny Glover, Bill Paxton, Gary Busey and Maria Conchita Alonso.

Fun Fact: At one point Arnold Schwarzenegger was going to co-star in the film, but chose to do Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) instead.

McVicar (1980) ITV4 11:10pm-1:25am (2 hours 15 minutes)
Fact-based crime drama telling the story of notorious bank robber John McVicar. The film follows his rise to become London’s most wanted, his capture and incarceration in a maximum security prison, his incredible escape and eventual reformation. Starring Roger Daltrey, Adam Faith, Steven Berkoff and Cheryl Campbell.

SUNDAY 28th DECEMBER

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Jurassic Park
(1993) ITV2 12:25pm-2:50pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Scientists are given a sneak preview of a safari park inhabited by genetically engineered dinosaurs created by an eccentric tycoon. However, it all goes wrong when a greedy employee sabotages the security systems, allowing the prehistoric beasts to roam free and hunt the visitors. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, starring Sam Neill, Laura Dern, Jeff Goldblum, Richard Attenborough and Samuel L Jackson.

ET: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) ITV London 3:20pm-5:35pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A lonely boy befriends an alien who has been left stranded on Earth. The two develop a psychic connection as the boy helps the alien to contact his own people and seek rescue. However, living on Earth begins to have a devastating effect on the visitor’s health, while a government operative is determined to capture him for study. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi fantasy, starring Henry Thomas and Drew Barrymore.

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) BBC1 London 3:45pm-5:35pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Intrepid archaeologist Indiana Jones goes in search of the legendary Ark of the Covenant, a biblical artefact of devastating power. His quest leads him to Egypt, where the Nazis are plotting to use the Ark to further Hitler’s plans for world domination – aided by Jones’s deceitful French rival. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, with Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Paul Freeman and John Rhys-Davies.

Fun Fact: Steven Spielberg and Melissa Mathison wrote a script during shooting breaks on the location of this film. Mathison was there to visit her husband, Harrison Ford and Spielberg dictated to her a story idea he had; that script was eventually called E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial (1982).

Independence Day (1996) Film4 6:00pm-8:50pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
A fleet of huge flying saucers launches a devastating and unprovoked attack on Earth. As survivors try to flee the seemingly unstoppable alien invaders, the courageous US president, an ace pilot and a computer genius come up with a plan to take the fight to the enemy and save the human race. Roland Emmerich’s sci-fi adventure, starring Will Smith, Bill Pullman, Jeff Goldblum, Mary McDonnell, Randy Quaid, Robert Loggia and Harry Connick Jr.

Born on the Fourth of July (1989) ITV4 9:00pm-11:55pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
Oliver Stone’s fact-based drama chronicles the life of Ron Kovic, an eager-to-impress, patriotic Marine Corps recruit, who endures terrifying experiences during the Vietnam conflict that leave him paralysed from the chest down. On his return home, he undergoes a harrowing journey of physical and mental recovery that leads him to question the whole purpose of the war. Starring Tom Cruise, Willem Dafoe, Kyra Sedgwick and Josh Evans.

Face/Off (1997) Watch 11:25pm-2:10am (2 hours 45 minutes)
FBI agent Sean Archer captures terrorist Castor Troy, the man who killed his son. While Troy is in a coma, Archer has the crook’s face surgically grafted onto his own so he can go undercover and locate a bomb planted somewhere in Los Angeles. But then Troy regains consciousness – and in turn takes on Archer’s identity. John Woo’s action thriller, starring Nicolas Cage, John Travolta, Joan Allen, Gina Gershon and Dominique Swain.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you thank the chef and always wait for everyone to be at the table.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 124

Cheese and crackers! It’s time for another weekly retro movie rundown!!

Like one of the top American Football athletes of our time, let us strap and click on our protective pads as we get ready to throw long into the weekends greatest retro movies. We’ll duck and weave our way around even the biggest opponents are we run it home before posing for the moment to be forever captured and shared forever as celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

Saturday 15th November

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Escape from the Planet of the Apes (1971)
More4 11:05am-1:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Intelligent chimpanzees Cornelius and Zira escape the destruction of their planet by travelling back in time to 1970s America. Although initially treated as celebrities, the government comes to regard the pair as a threat to the human race when it transpires that Zira is pregnant. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Roddy McDowall, Kim Hunter, Sal Mineo and Ricardo Montalban.

Billion Dollar Brain (1967) ITV4 1:05pm-3:15pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Former secret agent Harry Palmer comes out of retirement to take a mysterious canister to Finland, and ends up embroiled in an American megalomaniac’s bid to take over the world. Espionage thriller, directed by Ken Russell and starring Michael Caine, Oscar Homolka and Karl Malden.

The War of the Worlds (1953) Film4 3:25pm-5:10pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A meteor strike in southern California turns out to contain a deadly alien war machine that wipes out anything in its path. This machine is the vanguard of a mass invasion of aliens from Mars, who are intent on wiping out the human race and claiming Earth for themselves. Sci-fi drama, updating HG Wells’ novel to a 20th-century setting, starring Gene Barry, Ann Robinson and Les Tremayne.

Dark Star (1974) Film4 5:10pm-6:50pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A spaceship is sent on a mission to destroy unstable planets. The crew’s pet alien escapes and sets off a sentient bomb, which the astronauts have to persuade not to explode. Sci-fi comedy, the directorial debut of John Carpenter, starring Dan O’Bannon, Brian Narelle, Dre Pahich and Cal Kuniholm.

The Mask (1994) Sky Movies Comedy 6:10pm-8:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A timid bank clerk stumbles on an ancient mask, which endows whoever wears it with untold superhuman powers, unbridled self-confidence and an irresistible charm for the ladies. Unfortunately, he earns the enmity of a local gangster for daring to flirt with his girlfriend – and when the crook gets wind of the artefact’s existence, he covets the power for himself. Comic-book comedy, with Jim Carrey, Cameron Diaz, Peter Riegert and Peter Greene.

Fun Facts: The banana-yellow suit that Jim Carrey wears is based on a suit which his mother made for him for his first attempt at stand-up comedy. This was also Cameron Diaz’s first movie role!

Never Say Never Again (1983) ITV4 9:00pm-11:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
James Bond investigates the hijacking of two American nuclear warheads and tracks the stolen missiles to the Bahamas, where a sinister millionaire working for criminal organisation Spectre is planning to hold the world to ransom. Action adventure, starring Sean Connery, Klaus Maria Brandauer, Kim Basinger, Max von Sydow and Barbara Carrera.

Sunday 16th November

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The Cable Guy (1996)
Sky Movies Comedy 7:45am-9:25am (1 hour 40 minutes)
A man makes the mistake of engaging a cable TV installer in conversation in a ploy to get all the channels for free. However, the manic repairman shows an invincible determination to be his new best friend – and does not take kindly to rejection. Comedy directed by Ben Stiller, starring Jim Carrey, Matthew Broderick and George Segal.

Big Trouble in Little China (1986) Sky Movies Aliens 9:30am-11:15am (1 hour 45 minutes)
A dim-witted and fearless trucker goes in search of his friend’s kidnapped fiancee in San Francisco’s Chinatown. He blunders into a supernatural world ruled by a powerful ghostly sorcerer, who needs the captured woman so he can rejoin the land of the living. Comedy fantasy adventure, starring Kurt Russell, Dennis Dun, Kim Cattrall, James Hong and Victor Wong.

Gremlins (1984) Sky Movies Greats 12:00pm-1:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A teenager is given a strange, cute creature as a Christmas present by his eccentric father and warned to keep it away from water, not to feed it after midnight, or expose it to direct light. However, a chance dousing causes the furball to spawn a horde of murderous little monsters, and their devilish antics bring mayhem to a small town. Comedy horror, with Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, Hoyt Axton and Polly Holliday.

Titanic (1997) Film4 3:20pm-7:05pm (3 hours 45 minutes)
A party of explorers studying the sunken remains of the famous liner meets an elderly woman who was a passenger on the ill-fated maiden voyage. She recounts how she boarded the ship while on the brink of being forced into marriage by her family, and was stopped from killing herself by a penniless artist. She fell in love with her saviour, but the disaster on the horizon meant their time together was doomed to be short. James Cameron’s Oscar-winning romantic drama, starring Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates and Bill Paxton.

Fun Fact: The movie’s line “I’m the king of the world!” was ad-libbed by DiCaprio and was later was voted as #4 of “The 100 Greatest Movie Lines” by Premiere in 2007. The same was voted as the #100 movie quote by the American Film Institute (out of 100).

Dumb and Dumber (1994) Channel 5 5:25pm-7:30pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Dimwitted Rhode Island limousine driver Lloyd Christmas and his equally vacuous friend Harry Dunne embark on a disaster-fraught cross-country trip to Aspen, where they hope to reunite a briefcase with its female owner. However, the pair are unaware the case contains a $1million ransom they would have been better leaving well alone. Farrelly brothers comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Jeff Daniels, Lauren Holly, Teri Garr and Mike Starr.

Face/Off (1997) BBC3 11:15pm-1:25am (2 hours 10 minutes)
FBI agent Sean Archer captures terrorist Castor Troy, the man who killed his son. While Troy is in a coma, Archer has the crook’s face surgically grafted onto his own so he can go undercover and locate a bomb planted somewhere in Los Angeles. But then Troy regains consciousness – and in turn takes on Archer’s identity. John Woo’s action thriller, starring Nicolas Cage, John Travolta, Joan Allen, Gina Gershon and Dominique Swain.

Conan the Barbarian (1982) Film4 11:05pm-1:40am (2 hours 35 minutes)
A child who grows up in slavery becomes a formidable warrior and a cunning thief. Taken prisoner by a victorious king, he is sent out to destroy the leader of the barbaric cult that destroyed his village and slaughtered his family. Fantasy adventure, based on the stories by author Robert E Howard, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Max von Sydow, James Earl Jones and Sandahl Bergman.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you stop, look and listen and start from the outside in.
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 114

Blues and twos! Is it the weekend already?!

Fast approaching like a speeding police car in your rear view mirrors, this weekend is coming packed to the teach with some of the biggest and best movie ammunition that is sure to leave you having a blast. With their matching uniforms, radio chatter and watchful eyes, let us be your ever ready and diligent bobby as we stop and search high and low for even more retro movie magic and take every sniff of celluloid wonder with us as evidence, all for the cause of investigation retro greatness!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 6th SEPTEMBER

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Dumbo (1941)
Sky Movies Disney 12:25pm-1:40pm (1 hour 15 minutes)
Disney animated adventure following the fortunes of a plucky young elephant with over sized ears. Mocked by his fellow circus performers, Dumbo finally finds a friend in an enterprising mouse, who helps the poor animal overcome his inhibitions and find fame and fortune as the world’s only flying elephant. With the voices of Sterling Holloway and Edward Brophy, and an Oscar-winning score by Frank Churchill and Oliver Wallace

The Secret of My Success (1987) ITV London 3:55pm-6:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A naive country boy travels to New York to make his fortune, only to end up working in a corporation’s mail room. He chances on a vacant office and hatches a plan to pass himself off as a top-ranking executive, but leading a double life proves harder than expected. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, Helen Slater, Richard Jordan and Fred Gwynne.

Turner & Hooch (1989) Film4 4:55pm-6:50pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A Californian detective investigating the murder of a local man by drug smugglers has only one witness to help him solve the case – the large, smelly dog that belonged to the victim, which is about to turn the detective’s well-ordered existence into chaos. Family comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham and Craig T Nelson.

Speed (1994) Sky1 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An LAPD cop discovers a psychopathic criminal has planted a bomb on a crowded bus, primed to go off if the vehicle drops below 50mph. He boards the vehicle and helps the hapless passenger who has been forced to take the wheel to keep a constant speed to avoid a disaster. Action thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Sandra Bullock, Dennis Hopper and Jeff Daniels.

Diamonds Are Forever (1971) ITV4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
James Bond investigates a diamond-smuggling operation, and discovers that behind the scheme is his insidious arch-enemy Blofeld, who is planning to construct a devastating orbital doomsday weapon powered by the precious stones, which will force world powers to disarm and give him global domination. Spy adventure, starring Sean Connery, Jill St John, Charles Gray, Bernard Lee and Lois Maxwell.

Fun Facts:
The laser satellite’s reflector is actually the collapsible reflector from an old-fashioned camera flash-bulb attachment.
Because of Sean Connery’s high fee, the film’s special effects budget was significantly scaled back. Connery was reportedly paid $1.25 million (US) to return as James Bond, a figure unheard of in those days.

SUNDAY 7th SEPTEMBER

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Casper (1995)
ITV2 2:40pm-4:35pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A paranormal expert moves into a haunted house where his daughter befriends the amiable ghost of a young boy – but things start to go awry when three smelly spooks and two dastardly crooks try to chase the new residents away. Family comedy, starring Christina Ricci, Bill Pullman, Eric Idle, Cathy Moriarty and featuring the voice of Malachi Pearson.

Big Trouble in Little China (1986) Sky Movies Sci-fi & Horror 5:05pm-7:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A dim-witted and fearless trucker goes in search of his friend’s kidnapped fiancee in San Francisco’s Chinatown. He blunders into a supernatural world ruled by a powerful ghostly sorcerer, who needs the captured woman so he can rejoin the land of the living. Comedy fantasy adventure, starring Kurt Russell, Dennis Dun, Kim Cattrall, James Hong and Victor Wong.

Big (1988) E4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Fun Fact: According to actor Robert Loggia, on the day they filmed the famous keyboard scene at F.A.O. Schwarz, he and Tom Hanks noticed that doubles dressed like them were on hand just in case the two could not do the dance moves correctly. It became their goal to do the entire keyboard number without the aid of the doubles. They succeeded.

Broken Arrow (1996) Movie Mix or More>Movies 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A US Air Force veteran ejects his co-pilot from their Stealth bomber in a plan to steal the plane’s cargo of nuclear warheads. He uses the weapons to extort money from the American government by threatening to detonate one in a major city. Action thriller, starring John Travolta, Christian Slater, Samantha Mathis and Delroy Lindo.

Batman Begins (2005) Sky Movies Action & Adventure 11:30pm-1:55am (2 hours 25 minutes)
Billionaire Bruce Wayne travels the world seeking the means to fight injustice, consumed with rage over his parents’ murder. Trained by a secret society, he hones his fighting skills and returns to his home city of Gotham on a mission to rid it of crime and corruption in the guise of a masked vigilante. Comic-book adventure, exploring the origins of the Dark Knight, with Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Cillian Murphy, Gary Oldman and Katie Holmes.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you always lock the windows, and turn off the taps when brushing your teeth.
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 53!

Zippidy Doo Da! It has to be a bank holiday bonanza!

As waves rhythmically crash against rocks on a beach, let us be your tiny but eager archaeologist, equipped with a bright red bucket and spade as we excitedly build for you a castle of mega cinematic greatness surrounded by a mote of celluloid wonder so we can proudly raise our flag of retro movie awesomeness.

Have a happy retro weekend 🙂

SATURDAY 25th MAY

Space Camp (1986)Watch 12:55pm-3:05pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Six high-school students at a summer academy for would-be astronauts find themselves fighting for survival after being accidentally launched into orbit, and individually have to draw on their own particular talents as oxygen levels start to drop. Children’s sci-fi adventure, starring Kate Capshaw, Tom Skerritt, Lea Thompson, Joaquin Phoenix and Tate Donovan.

The Witches (1990)Watch 5:00pm-6:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A boy goes on holiday with his grandmother to a seaside hotel hosting a convention of witches, who have come together to hear their leader’s plan to turn all the children in England into mice. When the chief hag discovers the young lad eavesdropping at their meeting, she decides to make him one of her first victims. Children’s fantasy directed by Nicolas Roeg, based on the book by Roald Dahl, and starring Anjelica Huston, Mai Zetterling, Jasen Fisher, Jane Horrocks, Rowan Atkinson and Brenda Blethyn.

Arachnophobia (1990)Watch 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A mild-mannered doctor sets up practice in a small town, but a cloud gathers over his career due to a series of unexplained deaths. Before long, he has to convince the locals that a horde of venomous spiders is responsible and confront his intense fear of arachnids into the bargain. Comedy horror, starring Jeff Daniels, John Goodman, Julian Sands and Brian McNamara.

Forrest Gump (1994)Film4 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
A simple soul bumbles his way through a series of bizarre adventures, becoming an American football star, Vietnam veteran, table tennis champion and millionaire businessman – but the love of his life continues to elude him. Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama, starring Tom Hanks, Sally Field, Robin Wright and Gary Sinise.

**COMING SOON**  Men's Forrest Gump Bench T-Shirt £19.99 (also available for ladies)
**COMING SOON** Men's Forrest Gump Bench T-Shirt £19.99 (also available for ladies)

SUNDAY 26th MAY

Look Who’s Talking (1989)Watch 2:15pm-4:10pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Pregnant Mollie is dumped by her boyfriend, and sets out after the baby’s birth to find a surrogate father for her infant son Mikey, who comments on proceedings through a wisecracking inner monologue. Mikey is confident the cab driver who helped deliver him is the perfect man for the job – but his mother is less than convinced. Comedy, with John Travolta, Kirstie Alley and the voice of Bruce Willis.

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992)Film4 3:05pm-4:50pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A scientist perfects a device for making objects grow when they come into contact with electricity. Unfortunately, his two-year-old son is accidentally turned into a giant and goes on the rampage through the streets of Las Vegas. Disney comedy sequel, starring Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman, Robert Oliveri and Lloyd Bridges.

Crocodile Dundee II (1988)Film4 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The rugged Australian adventurer sets out to save his reporter girlfriend from New York drug dealers. Having rescued her from their clutches, he realises they will soon be coming after him – so he decides to even the odds by luring them to the Outback for a final showdown. Comedy adventure sequel, starring Paul Hogan, Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Charles S Dutton.

Back to the Future Part III (1990)ITV2 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Time-travelling teenager Marty McFly is transported back to the days of the Wild West, where he strives to save his eccentric scientist friend Doc Brown from death at the hands of a villainous gunslinger. Final instalment in the sci-fi comedy trilogy, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Mary Steenburgen and Thomas F Wilson.

Ladies Back To The Future Delorean Firetracks T-Shirt £19.99 (also available for men)
Ladies Back To The Future Delorean Firetracks T-Shirt £19.99 (also available for men)

BANK HOLIDAY MONDAY 27th MAY

Romancing the Stone (1984)Channel 4 1:05pm-3:10pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A romantic novelist goes in search of her kidnapped sister in the steamy jungles of South America, only to become the target of a villainous general who demands as a ransom the valuable treasure map in her possession. Help is at hand in the form of a craggy daredevil fortune hunter, who has his eye on a share of the profits. Comedy adventure, starring Michael Douglas, Kathleen Turner and Danny DeVito.

Cool Runnings (1993)BBC1 London 1:55pm-3:25pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
A sprinter fails to qualify for the Jamaican Olympic squad, but refuses to give up his dream. Learning that a former US bobsleigh coach is living nearby, he seizes the chance to shine in an entirely different sport, and cajoles three of his friends to join him in training for the 1988 Winter Olympics in the far less tropical environment of Canada. Fact-based comedy, with John Candy, Leon, Doug E Doug and Malik Yoba.

Edward Scissorhands (1990)Film4 5:00pm-7:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A reclusive genius creates a boy but dies before completing him, leaving his brainchild with scissor-like blades in place of hands. A kindly woman from a nearby suburb takes pity on the lonely boy and welcomes him into her home. He quickly becomes a hit in the neighbourhood – but then his new friends start to turn against him. Tim Burton’s fantasy, starring Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest and Vincent Price.

Short Circuit (1986)Movies 24 5:00pm-7:00pm (2 hours)
A military robot is struck by lightning and develops a mind of its own. The machine embarks on a series of comic misadventures, but the company that made him want him back. He realises his only hope is to convince the scientist who invented him that he really is alive. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Steve Guttenberg, Ally Sheedy and Fisher Stevens.

Bam! Bonus movie clip time for y’all to get in the mood a lil’ bit o’ shrimp knowledge.

Whatever you get up to this Bank Holiday, remember don’t eat the gum from under the table and enjoy yourselves.