The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown! Easter Weekend Special

Easter Bunny’s tail! It’s on the bank holiday weekend!

Like the busy little bunny themselves, we’ve been hopping our way around the moviesphere, reaching high and low for the most tasty and awesome retro movies for all your eager hunters to get your hands on. Creeping around the wilderness, we’ll stumble across some of the best that this weekend has to offer, before taking them home, unwrapping and gorging ourselves on top classic film goodness until we’re fit to burst!

Have a happy retro weekend!

FRIDAY 3rd April

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Kiki’s Delivery Service
(1989) Film4 11:00am-1:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A witch moves to a new town with her talking cat, hoping to forge a life for herself. Despite the objections of the locals, a kindly baker offers her a job delivering bread by broom – but events take a strange turn when she suddenly loses her powers. Animated fantasy from Spirited Away director Hayao Miyazaki, with the voices of Minami Takayama and Rei Sakuma. In Japanese.

Fantastic Mr Fox (2009) More4 11:30am-1:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A rebellious fox decides it is time to grow up and change his chicken-stealing ways for the sake of his wife and children. However, the presence of three wicked farmers near his woodland home proves a challenge he cannot resist. Stop-motion animated adventure based on the novel by Roald Dahl, with the voices of George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray.

Fantastic Mr Fox Merchandise

Sleepless in Seattle (1993) GOLD 12:35pm-2:45pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A widowed father is coping badly with his wife’s death, but his son is convinced that what he really needs is some new romance in his life. He arranges for his dad to go on a radio phone-in show, and his touching story moves a reporter to respond, even though she is already engaged. She returns to her fiance, but the boy, certain she is the woman for his father, plots to bring them together. Romantic comedy, with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

Fun Fact: The scene between Tom Hanks and Victor Garber crying over the movie The Dirty Dozen (1967) was completely improvised during the take.

My Girl (1991) Watch 1:00pm-3:00pm (2 hours)
A lonely 11-year-old tomboy feels responsible for her mother’s death, but a boy’s friendship helps her get through her emotional problems. Meanwhile, when she realises her father is falling in love with his new employee, she sets out to do all she can to end the romance. Drama, starring Anna Chlumsky, Macaulay Culkin, Dan Aykroyd and Jamie Lee Curtis.

The Simpsons Movie (2007) Film4 5:10pm-6:55pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Homer unwittingly pollutes Lake Springfield, so the US government decides to isolate the city underneath a giant dome. The Simpsons manage to escape and plan to start a new life in Alaska – but learn Springfield is about to be destroyed, and return to save their friends. With the voices of Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright and Yeardley Smith.

Simpsons T-Shirts

A Fish Called Wanda (1988) ITV London 10:15pm-12:15am (2 hours)
A stuffy English barrister representing a jewel thief is targeted by his client’s partners in crime – a seductive American crook and her dim-witted would-be philosopher lover who will go to any lengths to discover where the diamonds from their last heist have been hidden. Crime comedy, starring John Cleese, Jamie Lee Curtis, Kevin Kline, Michael Palin and Tom Georgeson.

SATURDAY4th April

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Look Who’s Talking
(1989) GOLD 9:10am-11:05am (1 hour 55 minutes)
Pregnant Mollie is dumped by her boyfriend, and sets out after the baby’s birth to find a surrogate father for her infant son Mikey, who comments on proceedings through a wisecracking inner monologue. Mikey is confident the cab driver who helped deliver him is the perfect man for the job – but his mother is less than convinced. Comedy, with John Travolta, Kirstie Alley and the voice of Bruce Willis.

Carry On Screaming (1966) ITV3 3:10pm-5:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A sinister boffin, his sultry sister and two genetic misfits kidnap innocent women from spooky Hocomb Woods and turn them into mannequins – but two dim-witted detectives look set to throw a spanner in the works. Comedy horror, starring Kenneth Williams, Fenella Fielding, Harry H Corbett, Charles Hawtrey, Jim Dale, Joan Sims and Bernard Bresslaw.

Batteries Not Included (1987) Syfy 3:50pm-6:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A family of tiny alien spacecraft intervenes to help the residents of a run-down Manhattan brownstone tenement stop greedy developers from demolishing their homes. However, the miniature flying saucers have the odds stacked against them as they bravely do all they can to save the day. Sci-fi fantasy, starring Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Frank McRae and Elizabeth Pena.

Matilda (1996) Comedy Central 4:00pm-6:00pm (2 hours)
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Matilda Merchandise

Honey, I Shrunk the Kids (1989) Comedy Central 6:00pm-8:00pm (2 hours)
A professor invents a ray with the power to reduce objects in size. Unfortunately, his kids and their meddling friends trigger it off and are shrunk to microscopic proportions. When they are accidentally thrown out with the rubbish, the children have to contend with all kinds of animals and insects on their journey home across the backyard. Disney comedy, with Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman and Amy O’Neill.

The Goonies (1985) Sky1 8:30pm-10:45pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Seven youngsters discover an old map and set out on the adventure of a lifetime to save their homes from a land developer by finding a legendary pirate’s hidden treasure. However, they first have to navigate a series of booby-trapped underground caverns and outwit a family of crooks also after the loot. Children’s adventure, starring Sean Astin, Corey Feldman, Josh Brolin and Martha Plimpton.

The Goonies T-Shirts

Pretty Woman (1990) BBC3 9:10pm-11:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A ruthless millionaire hires a prostitute while on a business trip. Realising she may be useful in helping him keep up a successful appearance, he pays her to accompany him for a week as he associates with the rich and powerful – but falls in love despite their many differences. Romantic comedy, starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, with Ralph Bellamy and Laura San Giacomo.

Fun Fact: Richard Gere is actually playing the piano. He also composed the piece of music that is played.

SUNDAY 5th April

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Patch Adams
(1998) Channel 5 12:05pm-2:20pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A talented student doctor turns the medical community upside down with his offbeat views about the healing power of laughter. His methods provoke outrage and intense debate among his professors – but his extrovert nature brightens the lives of all kinds of patients. Comedy drama, starring Robin Williams, Monica Potter, Daniel London, Bob Gunton and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Hook (1991) Comedy Central 1:15pm-4:00pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992) Channel 4 2:55pm-4:40pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A scientist perfects a device for making objects grow when they come into contact with electricity. Unfortunately, his two-year-old son is accidentally turned into a giant and goes on the rampage through the streets of Las Vegas. Disney comedy sequel, starring Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman, Robert Oliveri and Lloyd Bridges.

Clueless (1995) Film4 3:10pm-5:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A rich high-school student uses all her charm and financial clout to boost an awkward new pupil’s image, but soon finds she has created a monster – while her own popularity suffers in the process. Comedy inspired by Jane Austen’s Emma, starring Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy and Paul Rudd.

Clueless T-Shirts

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) ITV2 3:15pm-5:35pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A lonely boy befriends an alien who has been left stranded on Earth. The two develop a psychic connection as the boy helps the extraterrestrial to contact his own people and call for rescue. However, living on Earth starts to have a devastating effect on the visitor’s health, and a government operative is determined to capture him for study. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi fantasy, starring Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace and Peter Coyote.

K-9 (1989) Syfy 5:00pm-7:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A hard-bitten cop’s bad attitude forces his superiors to take desperate measures to find him a new partner on the eve of what could turn out to be the biggest case of his career – and the solution is to pair him up with a lovable Alsatian that will put him through his paces. Comedy, starring James Belushi, Mel Harris and Ed O’Neill.

Superman Returns (2006) Watch 5:55pm-9:00pm (3 hours 5 minutes)
The Man of Steel returns to Earth after an absence of several years to find his lost love Lois Lane has moved on with her life. Meanwhile, arch-villain Lex Luthor is out of jail and about to wreak havoc on the world with technology stolen from Superman’s home planet of Krypton. Comic-book adventure from X-Men director Bryan Singer, with Brandon Routh, Kevin Spacey, Kate Bosworth and Parker Posey.

Superman T-Shirts

Last Action Hero (1993) Watch 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
A boy watching an action movie is transported into the film by a magic ticket and meets its hero figure, who refuses to believe he is a fictional character. Matters take a turn for the worse when the screen villain gets hold of the ticket and crosses over into the real world – where bad guys can win. Comedy adventure, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin O’Brien, Charles Dance, F Murray Abraham and Anthony Quinn.

MONDAY 6th April

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The Dark Crystal
(1982) Channel 4 12:25pm-2:10pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

Dark Crystal T-Shirts

Chitty Chitty Bang Bang (1968) 5USA 1:05pm-4:00pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
Eccentric inventor Caractacus Potts rescues an old car from the scrapheap, only to discover it has magical, gravity-defying powers. Meanwhile, Baron Bomburst, the blundering ruler of Vulgaria, will do anything to get his greedy hands on it. Children’s musical adventure, based on the book by Ian Fleming, starring Dick Van Dyke, Lionel Jeffries, Sally Ann Howes, Gert Frobe, Benny Hill and James Robertson Justice.

Groundhog Day (1993) GOLD 2:45pm-4:45pm (2 hours)
An obnoxious TV weatherman reporting on a small town’s annual festival finds himself caught in a bizarre time loop, and is forced to relive the same day over and over again. While at first he tries to exploit his predicament, he is ultimately driven to mend his ways and adopt a less cynical attitude. Comedy, starring Bill Murray, Andie MacDowell, Chris Elliott and Stephen Tobolowsky.

10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Film4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
Lively teenager Bianca is not allowed to start dating until her man-hating sister Kat does first – but no boy is brave enough to ask her out. However, Bianca’s would-be boyfriend thinks he has found the perfect man for the job in the shape of a quirky loner with a mysterious past. Comedy, based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, starring Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Larisa Oleynik.

Raiders of the Lost Ark (1981) BBC3 8:10pm-10:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Intrepid archaeologist Indiana Jones goes in search of the legendary Ark of the Covenant, a biblical artefact of devastating power. His quest leads him to Egypt, where the Nazis are plotting to use the Ark to further Hitler’s plans for world domination – aided by Jones’s deceitful French rival. Steven Spielberg’s action adventure, with Harrison Ford, Karen Allen, Paul Freeman and John Rhys-Davies.

Fun Fact: Most of the body blows you hear were created by hitting a pile of leather jackets with a baseball bat.

Whatever you’re up to this loooong weekend, make sure you find every last egg before a hot Summer and remember that even the smallest gifts and be the most special.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 134

Macaulay Culkin’s scream! It’s only the weekend already!

With a house rigged up to the teeth with traps, spikes, ice and the odd red hot handle, we’re ready and waiting for the weekend to hit and bring with is all the mischief that’s been building up during the last school week. We’ll let the paint cans fly, our BB gun fire and spiders free as we take on all that the weekend can throw at us while doing our best to take in all the celluloid wonder that it brings with it.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 31st January

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The Simpsons Movie
(2007) Film4 1:00pm-2:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Homer unwittingly pollutes Lake Springfield, so the US government decides to isolate the city underneath a giant dome. The Simpsons manage to escape and plan to start a new life in Alaska – but learn Springfield is about to be destroyed, and return to save their friends. With the voices of Dan Castellaneta, Julie Kavner, Nancy Cartwright and Yeardley Smith.

E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial (1982) ITV2 4:35pm-6:50pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A lonely boy befriends an alien who has been left stranded on Earth. The two develop a psychic connection as the boy helps the extraterrestrial to contact his own people and call for rescue. However, living on Earth starts to have a devastating effect on the visitor’s health, and a government operative is determined to capture him for study. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi fantasy, starring Henry Thomas, Drew Barrymore, Dee Wallace and Peter Coyote.

Getting Even with Dad (1994) 5* 5:45pm-8:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Spoilt child Timmy goes to live with his outwardly respectable father, but realises he is a small-time thief planning his latest robbery. Timmy sets out to reform his dad, and in the meantime manages to fix him up with an attractive undercover cop – leading to much confusion. Family comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Ted Danson, Glenne Headly and Hector Elizondo.

Fun Fact: Saul Rubinek was really hit in the nose with a bat during the scene where he falls down the stairs at the stadium. Since Rubinek was caught off guard, his reaction gave the scene a more realistic look so the director decided to leave it in the final cut.

Rocky V (1990) 5USA 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The heavyweight champion is forced into retirement due to brain damage inflicted in the ring, and finds his fortune has been lost on the stock market by his accountant. Returning to his working-class roots, he trains an up-and-coming fighter, only to see his protege turn against him. Drama sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire and real-life boxer Tommy Morrison.

Ghostbusters (1984) Sky1 8:00pm-10:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Three eccentric scientists put their hi-tech gadgetry and knowledge of the paranormal to money-making use by setting up in business as freelance ghost catchers. A musician calls them in to investigate when she sees strange creatures in her kitchen, only to end up possessed. As the spook-hunting team members deal with an attempt to shut their operation down, they discover an evil demonic entity is being summoned into existence and it falls to them to stop this creature from destroying the world. Supernatural comedy adventure, starring Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Sigourney Weaver, Ernie Hudson and Rick Moranis.

Forrest Gump (1994) Comedy Central 9:00pm-11:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
A slow-witted man has a series of bizarre adventures, including becoming an American football star, Vietnam veteran, table tennis champion and millionaire businessman – but the love of his life from childhood continues to elude him. Robert Zemeckis’s Oscar-winning comedy drama, starring Tom Hanks, Sally Field, Robin Wright and Gary Sinise.

The Shawshank Redemption (1994) ITV London 10:35pm-1:10am (2 hours 35 minutes)
A banker is wrongly jailed for his wife’s murder and over the course of a life sentence he forms a close friendship with a fellow inmate. He also earns a position of trust as book-keeper to the corrupt prison governor – but makes an enemy of his benefactor as he tries to clear his name. Frank Darabont’s drama, starring Tim Robbins, Morgan Freeman, Bob Gunton, William Sadler, Clancy Brown and Gil Bellows.

SUNDAY 1st February

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A Little Princess
(1995) Channel 5 1:35pm-3:25pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A wealthy English girl is sent to an austere New York boarding school, where she charms the other youngsters with her stories of life in India – until her father goes missing in action, leaving her destitute and in the hands of the wicked headmistress. Drama based on Frances Hodgson Burnett’s classic novel, with Eleanor Bron, Liesel Matthews and Liam Cunningham.

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) ITV London 4:15pm-6:35pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
James Bond teams up with a KGB agent to recover missing British and Soviet nuclear submarines, before whoever stole them can use their warheads. Unfortunately, 007 was responsible for the death of his new ally’s lover – and she is determined to make him pay before their mission is complete. Spy adventure, starring Roger Moore, Barbara Bach, Curt Jurgens and Richard Kiel.

The Wizard of Oz (1939) Film4 3:05pm-5:10pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Youngster Dorothy Gale is whisked over the rainbow by a tornado into the magical land of Oz, where she inadvertently kills a wicked witch – incurring the wrath of another. Setting out to find the wizard who can show her a way home, she is joined on her journey by a scarecrow, a tin man and a cowardly lion, who all hope their own wishes will be granted. Musical fantasy, with Judy Garland, Ray Bolger, Jack Haley, Bert Lahr and Frank Morgan.

Despicable Me (2010) ITV2 5:05pm-6:55pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

James and the Giant Peach (1996) 5* 5:25pm-7:00pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
An unhappy orphan living with his cruel aunts discovers a gigantic peach growing in the garden. Venturing inside, he meets six friendly insects and together they embark on a magical journey. Animated and live-action fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Paul Terry, Joanna Lumley and Miriam Margolyes and featuring the voices of Susan Sarandon and Richard Dreyfuss.

The Matrix (1999) ITV2 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
A computer hacker discovers the world around him is nothing more than a virtual-reality fantasy created by malevolent living machines. Entering the devastated real world, he joins freedom fighters risking their lives to bring the truth out into the open and liberate the human race. Sci-fi action thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Laurence Fishburne, Carrie-Anne Moss and Hugo Weaving.

Fun Fact: In the combat training program before Keanu Reeves starts his furious attacks on Morpheus, he rubs his nose with his thumb and finger, a similar mannerism of Bruce Lee before he attacks on his opponents. The move was improvised by Reeves.

Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (1998) ITV4 12:00am-2:20am (2 hours 20 minutes)
A reckless sports writer and his lawyer hit the highways in search of the American Dream, heading for the Nevada gambling capital in a convertible stocked with alcohol and drugs. Drama, adapted by Terry Gilliam from Hunter S Thompson’s book, starring Johnny Depp, Benicio Del Toro, Ellen Barkin, Christina Ricci and Tobey Maguire.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure your laces are done up and never run on the edge of the pool.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 131

Magician’s wand! Is it really the weekend?

Appearing as quickly as it will disappear, the weekend is here once again with a puff, flash and bang and sure to bring as much mystery, glamour and flamboyance as a top stage show magician. Waving our hands around in spectacular fashion but only to distract and amaze, we’ll be pulling out cards from your very pocket at such a rate they will become animated like some of the great celluloid creations.
Sit back, open your mind and prepare to be amazed!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 10th January

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Richie Rich
(1994) ITV2 1:10pm-3:05pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
The world’s wealthiest youngster has everything he could possibly want except friends. When his parents go missing, he must try to keep their fortune out of the clutches of a scheming executive, with the help of some less well-off children. Family comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, John Larroquette, Jonathan Hyde, Edward Herrmann, Christine Ebersole and Mike McShane.

Superman III (1983) 5USA 4:00pm-6:35pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
The Man of Steel battles an evil tycoon, who has recruited a computer genius to aid his schemes for world domination. Together the villains hatch a plan to dispose of Superman once and for all – but instead of killing the superhero, they accidentally unveil his dark side. Comic-book adventure sequel, starring Christopher Reeve, Richard Pryor, Robert Vaughn and Margot Kidder.

Clueless (1995) Film4 4:40pm-6:35pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A rich high-school student uses all her charm and financial clout to boost an awkward new pupil’s image, but soon finds she has created a monster – while her own popularity suffers in the process. Comedy inspired by Jane Austen’s Emma, starring Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy and Paul Rudd.

Rocky II (1979) 5USA 6:35pm-9:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Philadelphia boxer Rocky Balboa quits the ring to marry his sweetheart and become a father. However, times prove hard and money is tight, so when Balboa is offered another shot at Apollo Creed’s heavyweight title, the fighter is lured out of retirement. Drama sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Talia Shire, Carl Weathers, Burt Young and Burgess Meredith.

Lethal Weapon (1987) Sky Movies Action & Adventure 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
An unstable Vietnam veteran cop teams up with a by-the-book Los Angeles police detective to investigate the apparent suicide of the daughter of a wealthy businessman, leading them to a violent and bloody confrontation with a ruthless drug cartel under the control of a retired US general. Action thriller, starring Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Gary Busey, Mitchell Ryan and Tom Atkins.

Fun Fact: Lethal Weapon was the first movie to feature a cellphone. It can be seen when Murtaugh calls his wife to tell Amanda Hunsaker’s death, and when later Murtaugh calls Dr. Stephanie Woods to talk about Riggs’ insanity.

Gremlins (1984) Sky1 9:00pm-11:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A teenager is given a strange, cute creature as a Christmas present by his eccentric father and warned to keep it away from water, not to feed it after midnight, or expose it to direct light. However, a chance dousing causes the furball to spawn a horde of murderous little monsters, and their devilish antics bring mayhem to a small town. Comedy horror, with Zach Galligan, Phoebe Cates, Hoyt Axton and Polly Holliday.

SUNDAY 11th January

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American Pie
(1999) Sky Movies Comedy 10:25am-12:15pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Four teenage boys make a solemn pact to lose their virginity before the high-school prom, and though their antics cause them huge embarrassment and public humiliation, the friends also learn about love and affection in their relations with the opposite sex. Coming-of-age comedy, starring Jason Biggs, Shannon Elizabeth, Chris Klein, Alyson Hannigan, Mena Suvari, Seann William Scott and Eugene Levy.

The Mask (1994) Sky Movies Comedy 2:35pm-4:25pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A timid bank clerk stumbles on an ancient mask, which endows whoever wears it with untold superhuman powers, unbridled self-confidence and an irresistible charm for the ladies. Unfortunately, he earns the enmity of a local gangster for daring to flirt with his girlfriend – and when the crook gets wind of the artefact’s existence, he covets the power for himself. Comic-book comedy, with Jim Carrey, Cameron Diaz, Peter Riegert and Peter Greene.

Flash Gordon (1980) Film4 Film4 3:05pm-5:20pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
American football quarterback Flash Gordon and journalist Dale Arden find themselves aboard a rocket ship designed by scientist Dr Zarkov, who intends to travel across space to locate the source of recent natural disasters. The three arrive on the planet Mongo, where they soon learn that the attacks are the responsibility of evil emperor Ming the Merciless, who is planning to destroy the Earth. Sci-fi comic-strip adventure, with Sam J Jones, Max von Sydow, Brian Blessed, Melody Anderson, Topol, Timothy Dalton, Ornella Muti, Peter Wyngarde and Mariangela Melato.

Diamonds Are Forever (1971) ITV London ITV London 4:15pm-6:35pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
James Bond investigates a diamond-smuggling operation, and discovers that behind the scheme is his insidious arch-enemy Blofeld, who is planning to construct a devastating orbital doomsday weapon powered by the precious stones, which will force world powers to disarm and give him global domination. Spy adventure, starring Sean Connery, Jill St John, Charles Gray, Bernard Lee and Lois Maxwell.

10 Things I Hate About You (1999) E4 8:00pm-9:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Lively teenager Bianca is not allowed to start dating until her man-hating sister Kat does first – but no boy is brave enough to ask her out. However, Bianca’s would-be boyfriend thinks he has found the perfect man for the job in the shape of a quirky loner with a mysterious past. Comedy, based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, starring Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Larisa Oleynik.

Teen Wolf (1985) Syfy 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
A teenage misfit is initially dismayed to learn he is a werewolf as a result of a hereditary curse. He finds there are advantages as he becomes a local celebrity, while his enhanced agility makes him the star player of his school’s basketball team – but fame quickly goes to his head. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, James Hampton and Susan Ursitti.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you don’t order more than you can possibly eat and remember to always start from the outside in.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 128

Toasted marshmallows! It’s only the bloomin weekend!

Setting up camp in a picturesque clearing in the deep Canadian woods, we’ll be pitching out retro movie canvas just as the light begins to fade. We’ll hustle a fire together and sit looking over the flickering flames as we ponder all the cinematic greatness before zipping up for the night and dreaming of what possible greatness we could capture onto celluloid wonder in the next light.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 6th DECEMBER
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Twins (1988) ITV2 12:50pm-3:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
An unlikely pair of brothers, who were born as the result of a one-off genetic experiment and separated at birth, are reunited in adulthood. They set out on a cross-country search for their unknown mother – fending off vicious loan sharks and a professional assassin along the way. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Kelly Preston and Chloe Webb.

Runaway Bride (1999) Film4 1:00pm-3:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A disreputable journalist hopes to get his ailing career back on track by writing an article about a commitment-shy woman famed for ditching bridegrooms at the altar – but complications arise when the pair meet on the eve of her latest attempt at marriage. Romantic comedy, starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere, with Joan Cusack, Hector Elizondo and Rita Wilson.

Teen Wolf (1985) 5* 1:05pm-3:05pm (2 hours)
A teenage misfit is initially dismayed to learn he is a werewolf as a result of a hereditary curse. He finds there are advantages as he becomes a local celebrity, while his enhanced agility makes him the star player of his school’s basketball team – but fame quickly goes to his head. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, James Hampton and Susan Ursitti.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) ITV London 3:50pm-6:30pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
The teenage wizard is alarmed to learn a dangerous fugitive sorcerer is searching for him. Meanwhile, a new teacher at Hogwarts helps the bespectacled youngster to protect himself from the school’s soul-sucking security guards. The third in the fantasy adventure series, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Gary Oldman, David Thewlis, Michael Gambon, Robbie Coltrane and Alan Rickman.

Big (1988) Film4 5:10pm-7:15pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Scarface (1983) ITV4 10:15pm-1:35am (3 hours 20 minutes)
Small-time crook Tony Montana emigrates from Cuba to the US, determined to become rich and powerful. Admitted into the inner circle of a Miami drug lord, he ultimately takes over his boss’s empire and even his wife. However, his paranoia and cocaine addiction begin to spiral out of control, while his enemies circle, waiting for the chance to bring him down. Gangster thriller remake, with Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert Loggia.

SUNDAY 7th DECEMBER

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The First Wives Club (1996)
Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Three former college friends reunite at the funeral of a mutual acquaintance, who killed herself after her husband left her for a younger woman. Finding themselves in a similar situation, the trio decide to take action and hit their former partners where it hurts most – their finances. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler, Diane Keaton, Maggie Smith, Dan Hedaya, Bronson Pinchot and Elizabeth Berkley.

10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Channel 4 3:00pm-5:00pm (2 hours)
Lively teenager Bianca is not allowed to start dating until her man-hating sister Kat does first – but no boy is brave enough to ask her out. However, Bianca’s would-be boyfriend thinks he has found the perfect man for the job in the shape of a quirky loner with a mysterious past. Comedy, based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, starring Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Larisa Oleynik.

Fun Fact: The scene in which Kat reads the “10 Things” poem was the first and only take, according to the DVD extras. Kat’s tears towards the end of the poem were not planned.

Death Becomes Her (1992) ITV London 4:40pm-6:35pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Two romantic rivals are both granted the secret of eternal youth by a mysterious mystic. However, as they battle to get their claws into a plastic surgeon, they discover their now-immortal bodies are capable of taking whatever damage they can dish out. Black comedy fantasy, starring Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis and Isabella Rossellini.

Home Alone (1990) Sky Movies Family 9:35pm-11:30pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) Sky Movies Christmas 9:45pm-11:30pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An American householder is dismayed when his plans for a traditional festive family holiday are thrown into complete disarray by a succession of annoying neighbours and long-lost relatives, who turn up on his doorstep offering their own brand of Christmas cheer. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, Diane Ladd, Juliette Lewis, Miriam Flynn, Johnny Galecki and William Hickey.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you wrap up warm, and remember, never take sweets from strangers.

xoxo

Twins (1988)

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 127

Cheese and crackers! Is it really the weekend. Let’s celebrate in style!

With all the finest of guests adorning some of the very classiest attire, we’ll schmooze our way around the cocktail party, chatting to some of the great and good of the local area.
Heading to the bar, we’ll check our pocket watch and adjust our tie before tipping the bar keep for his hard work and experience in creating our latest creation of only the finest spirits and mixers. We’ll sip our drink slowly before heading to the floor to capture even more of the nights greatness like a camera capturing a movies celluloid magic.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 6th DECEMBER

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The Hunt for Red October
(1990) 1:00pm Film4 165 minutes
A Soviet submarine commander creates an international crisis by piloting his experimental nuclear vessel, which is invisible to sonar, toward the American coast. The US and Russian navies think he is planning to attack and set out to destroy the submarine, but a CIA analyst suspects he intends to defect to the West. Cold War thriller, based on Tom Clancy’s novel, starring Sean Connery, Alec Baldwin and James Earl Jones.

Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets (2002) 3:00pm ITV 180 minutes
The young wizard and his friends return for their second term at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to discover a strange serpentine power is petrifying the other students. Meanwhile, Harry is haunted by a sinister voice in his head urging him to uncover the dark force that is stalking the corridors of the school. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Kenneth Branagh.

Harry Potter T-Shirts

Home Alone (1990) 6:10pm Sky Movies Comedy 110 minutes
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

Home Alone T-Shirts

Rocky Balboa (2006) 6:30pm Channel 5 120 minutes
The ageing fighter contemplates a return to the ring when a computer simulation reveals he would have defeated the current world heavyweight champion Mason `The Line’ Dixon, who responds by challenging Rocky to face him for real. Boxing drama sequel, directed by and starring Sylvester Stallone. With Antonio Tarver, Geraldine Hughes, Burt Young, Milo Ventimiglia and Tony Burton.

Rocky T-Shirts

Pale Rider (1985) 10:30pm Channel 5 130 minutes
An unscrupulous landowner threatens to throw gold-miners off their land and take the riches for himself. As the law turns a blind eye to their troubles, the miners desperately need a saviour – who happens to arrive in the form of a mysterious preacher with formidable gunfighting skills. Western, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood, alongside Michael Moriarty, Carrie Snodgress and Richard Dysart.

SUNDAY 7th DECEMBER

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Titanic
(1997) 11:00am Sky Movies Modern Greats 195 minutes
A party of explorers studying the sunken remains of the famous liner meets an elderly woman who was a passenger on the ill-fated maiden voyage. She recounts how she boarded the ship while on the brink of being forced into marriage by her family, and was stopped from killing herself by a penniless artist. She fell in love with her saviour, but the disaster on the horizon meant their time together was doomed to be short. James Cameron’s Oscar-winning romantic drama, starring Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates and Bill Paxton.

Beetlejuice (1988) 2:05pm 5* 115 minutes
Recently deceased couple Adam and Barbara Maitland enlist the professional services of a hard-boiled veteran ghost to scare away the obnoxious yuppie family who have moved into their former home. Tim Burton’s supernatural comedy, starring Michael Keaton, Geena Davis, Alec Baldwin, Winona Ryder, Jeffrey Jones and Catherine O’Hara.

Fun Fact: Michael Keaton spent only two weeks filming his part in the film, which lasts 17.5 minutes out of the 92-minute running time.

Apollo 13 (1995) 4:00pm ITV 155 minutes
Fact-based drama about the ill-fated 1970 Apollo 13 mission to the moon. Crew leader Jim Lovell is faced with a nightmare when the mission suffers an on-board explosion – leaving the team stranded in space with a dwindling oxygen supply while flight controllers and engineers in Houston try to find a way to bring the crew safely back to Earth. With Tom Hanks, Kevin Bacon, Bill Paxton, Ed Harris and Gary Sinise.

Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (1992) 5:25pm Channel 4 140 minutes
Hapless youngster Kevin somehow manages to catch the wrong plane and finds himself heading for New York, while his family jets off to Florida. Having got his hands on his father’s credit card, he is enjoying the good life staying in a luxury hotel – until he bumps into two familiar burglars with an axe to grind. Comedy sequel, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, Brenda Fricker and Tim Curry.

Big (1988) 6:55pm Film4 125 minutes
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

The Specialist (1994) 9:00pm ITV4 135 minutes
An explosives expert is reluctantly persuaded out of retirement by the charms of a vengeful woman bent on destroying the gang that murdered her parents. He carries out a series of assassinations, but finds himself caught in a deadly game of cat and mouse when one of his targets hires a former colleague to track him down. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Sharon Stone, James Woods, Rod Steiger and Eric Roberts.

Rambo III (1988) 11:15pm ITV4 125 minutes
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, just remember, keep it classy.

xoxo