The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Sweet Valley High! Another retro movie weekend has landed and is here to whisk us off to far and foreign lands!

With a clip and a clonk, we’re re-living our childhoods once again as we connect power cables and controllers to our favourite dusty old game console. Firmly slotting in the well-used cartridge which is packed with data and memories, we’ll hit the power switch and begin to jump, run and slide our way around the old familiar lands we once conquered man moons before.

SATURDAY 14th October

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Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
(2001) Syfy 2:20pm-4:30pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The gun-toting treasure seeker is thrown into a furious battle with a mysterious secret society as she races against time to locate the missing pieces of a legendary artefact that grants the owner the ability to control time. Action adventure based on the video games, starring Angelina Jolie, Daniel Craig, Leslie Phillips, Iain Glen, Chris Barrie and Jon Voight.

Titanic (1997) Film4 2:30pm-6:15pm (3 hours 45 minutes)
A party of explorers studying the sunken remains of the famous liner meets an elderly woman who was a passenger on the ill-fated maiden voyage. She recounts how she boarded the ship while on the brink of being forced into marriage by her family, and was stopped from killing herself by a penniless artist. She fell in love with her saviour, but the disaster on the horizon meant their time together was doomed to be short. James Cameron’s Oscar-winning romantic drama, starring Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates and Bill Paxton.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) Spike 2:45pm-5:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Two notorious outlaws’ routine of bank and train robberies is cut short when a seemingly unstoppable posse is formed to catch them. The pair plan to flee America and start a new life in Bolivia, with the Sundance Kid’s schoolmistress lover in tow – but staying ahead of the law is not so easy. Western, starring Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Katharine Ross.

Dirty Dancing (1987) 5STAR 3:55pm-6:00pm
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Dirty Dancing Merchandise

Liar Liar (1997) ITV2 5:45pm-7:30pm
A lawyer, whose underhand ploys to win cases leave him little time to see his son, discovers he is incapable of lying after the boy’s birthday wish makes his dad tell only the truth. However, this causes a host of problems as the attorney tries to muddle his way through a high-profile divorce settlement. Comedy, with Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Jennifer Tilly and Cary Elwes.

Pale Rider (1985) ITV4 9:00pm-11:20pm
An unscrupulous landowner threatens to throw gold-miners off their land and take the riches for himself. As the law turns a blind eye to their troubles, the miners desperately need a saviour – who happens to arrive in the form of a mysterious preacher with formidable gunfighting skills. Western, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood, alongside Michael Moriarty, Carrie Snodgress and Richard Dysart.

SUNDAY 15th October

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The Dark Crystal
(1982) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

The Dark Crystal Board Game

The Mask of Zorro (1998) Sony Movie Channel 12:00pm-2:00pm (2 hours)
The sword-wielding saviour of Spanish California returns after 20 years in prison, tutoring a thief to take over his heroic role and tackle corrupt government officials, who are using slave labour to mine gold illegally. Both mentor and pupil have personal scores to settle with their enemies, led by a ruthless governor and a psychotic military officer. Swashbuckling adventure, with Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Napoleon Dynamite (2004) Film4 1:00pm-2:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A socially inept high-school student and his lonely unemployed brother find their eccentric home life thrown into upheaval when their meddling uncle comes to stay. The teenage oddball tries to make the best of his changing circumstances, while putting all his skills to the task of helping his new best friend win the class presidency. Comedy, starring Jon Heder, Efren Ramirez and Haylie Duff.

Napoleon Dynamite TShirts

The ‘Burbs (1989) Channel 5 1:45pm-3:35pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The arrival of secretive neighbours sparks an unhealthy curiosity in a group of friends, leading them to go to bizarre lengths to discover the truth about the newcomers. However, their investigations take an even weirder twist when they begin to suspect their unseen fellow suburbanites are part of a cannibalistic cult. Joe Dante’s black comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher, Corey Feldman and Henry Gibson.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977) Sony Movie Channel 2:00pm-4:10pm
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.

Fun Fact: This was such a hit that it became the second highest grossing movie released in 1977, next to Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977).

Antz (1998) Channel 4 2:30pm-4:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A neurotic worker ant passes himself off as a soldier to impress a princess. However, he provokes a jealously ambitious general with an accidental act of heroism – so he and his beloved decide to flee the brutal colony and go in search of the promised land of Insectopia. Animated comedy, with the voices of Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman and Sylvester Stallone.

National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Channel 5 3:35pm-5:15pm
A maverick cop and his by-the-book partner investigate the murder of a fellow detective, uncovering a sinister conspiracy to get the people of America hooked on cocaine-flavoured cookies. Spoof of the Lethal Weapon movies, starring Emilio Estevez, Samuel L Jackson, Jon Lovitz, Tim Curry and William Shatner.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Film4 4:40pm-6:45pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Merchandise

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) Channel 5 7:20pm-8:55pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

Conan the Destroyer (1984) ITV4 9:00pm-11:05pm
The mighty sword-wielding warrior returns and is hired by a duplicitous queen to retrieve a mystical artefact from an evil sorcerer. Unfortunately, he fails to see that the malevolent monarch has a sinister plan in mind, and intends to kill him once his task is complete. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Grace Jones, Wilt Chamberlain and Sarah Douglas.

Highlander (1986) Spike 11:05pm-1:25am
A 16th-century Scottish clansman discovers he is one of a race of immortal warriors who can only be killed by beheading, and who are destined to fight to the death until just one survives. Centuries later in modern-day New York, he prepares for a final showdown with his deadliest enemy. Fantasy action adventure, starring Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, Clancy Brown and Roxanne Hart.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always do your best and you’ll never be disappointed.

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The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Great paw prints and tail wags! Another retro movie weekend is here and ready to spread its movie goodness all over the lands!

Picking up the lead from the designated hook, the excitement starts to build. Pulling on each boot, we’re met with a cold and wet nose, excited whimpers and the sound of paws scampering around on the hard floor. Clipping the lead onto our super excited little ball of fur’s lead, we’ll open the door and begin our adventure into the wilderness.

SATURDAY 9th September

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The Secret Garden (1993) ITV3 10:10am-12:15pm
An orphan is sent to live with her uncle in his forbidding Yorkshire mansion, where she meets her bedridden cousin – a boy she knew nothing about. She also stumbles across a marvellous but neglected garden, and sets about nursing them both back to health, with the help of a lad from a nearby village. Children’s drama, based on Frances Hodgson Burnett’s book, with Kate Maberly, Heydon Prowse, Andrew Knott, Maggie Smith and John Lynch.

Napoleon Dynamite (2004) Film4 1:00pm-2:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A socially inept high-school student and his lonely unemployed brother find their eccentric home life thrown into upheaval when their meddling uncle comes to stay. The teenage oddball tries to make the best of his changing circumstances, while putting all his skills to the task of helping his new best friend win the class presidency. Comedy, starring Jon Heder, Efren Ramirez and Haylie Duff.

Napoleon Dynamite TShirts

Harry and the Hendersons (1987) 5STAR 2:55pm-5:05pm
A hapless family’s camping holiday in the mountains is brought to a sudden end when they accidentally hit the legendary Bigfoot with their car. They decide to adopt the endearing creature, but have more trouble than expected trying to keep him concealed and to avoid arousing their neighbours’ suspicions. Comedy, starring John Lithgow, Melinda Dillon, David Suchet, Don Ameche and Kevin Peter Hall.

Seven Years in Tibet (1997) Film4 6:20pm-9:00pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
An arrogant Austrian mountaineer tries to become the first to conquer a peak in India that has claimed the lives of 11 previous climbers. However, the outbreak of the Second World War leaves him languishing in a PoW camp. He escapes and ends up in the holy city of Lhasa, where he befriends the 14-year-old Dalai Lama and learns the meaning of inner peace. Fact-based drama, starring Brad Pitt, David Thewlis and BD Wong.

The Incredible Hulk (2008) ITV2 6:50pm-9:00pm
A bungled experiment causes a scientist to turn into a monster whenever he gets angry. He travels the world seeking a cure for his condition, while a ruthless general is determined to capture him and use the creature as a weapon. However, one of the soldiers under the officer’s command undergoes a terrifying transformation of his own. Comic-book adventure, starring Edward Norton, Liv Tyler, Tim Roth and William Hurt.

Superhero Gifts

American Pie 2 (2001) ITV2 9:00pm-11:10pm
The teenagers reunite after their first year at college to spend the summer at a lake house. Jim is concerned by his lack of sexual experience, and goes in search of an old flame, Oz struggles to keep a long-term relationship going, and Finch tries to master the art of tantric sex. Comedy sequel, starring Jason Biggs, Chris Klein, Seann William Scott, Alyson Hannigan and Eugene Levy.

South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999) Dave 9:00pm-10:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The crusading grown-ups of the Colorado town lead America into war against Canada in a bid to eradicate bad language from TV. The four young heroes set out to bring peace to the world, but have to battle a fearsome alliance between Satan and Saddam Hussein. Animated musical comedy, with the voices of Trey Parker and Matt Stone, as well as George Clooney, Eric Idle and Isaac Hayes.

Double Jeopardy (1999) ITV4 11:15pm-1:30am
A man fakes his own death and frames his wife for murder, but after six years in prison she is released. Since the woman has already served her time, she has nothing to lose by really killing him – but her mission of vengeance is complicated by a zealous parole officer determined to stop her. Thriller, starring Ashley Judd, Tommy Lee Jones, Bruce Greenwood and Annabeth Gish.

What Women Want (2000) BBC2 10:45pm-12:45am (2 hours)
A freak accident gives a womanising executive the ability to hear the thoughts of the opposite sex. Embittered after losing out on promotion to a female colleague, he uses his new-found talent to exact revenge – but the insight it provides ultimately brings out an unexpected sensitive side. Romantic comedy, starring Mel Gibson, Helen Hunt, Marisa Tomei, Alan Alda and Bette Midler.

SUNDAY 10th September

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Hook (1991) Sony Movie Channel 12:30pm-3:35pm
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

You’ve Got Mail (1998) ITV 1:00pm-3:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Two rivals in the bookshop business fall in love over the internet, unaware they know and dislike each other in the real world. While things remain frosty in person, the pair’s anonymous online relationship continues to blossom. Romantic comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey and Dabney Coleman.

The Pink Panther (1963) ITV4 5:00pm-7:30pm
The world’s most inept police detective, Inspector Clouseau, heads off to Switzerland in search of a suave jewel thief who has purloined a priceless diamond from a princess – but the bumbling officer’s every ruse to foil the crime ends in chaos, not least when he is framed for the robbery himself. Blake Edwards’ comedy, starring Peter Sellers, David Niven, Capucine, Robert Wagner and Claudia Cardinale.

Gladiator (2000) Film4 9:00pm-12:00am (3 hours)
Roman general Maximus Decimus Meridius is a casualty of a power struggle between the corrupt Emperor Commodus and the senate. Ordered to be put to death along with his family, he escapes his would-be killers but is sold into slavery as a gladiator – but uses his fame in the arena to fight against the tyrant. Oscar-winning period epic, with Russell Crowe, Joaquin Phoenix, Derek Jacobi and Oliver Reed, in his last film role.

Godzilla (1998) Sony Movie Channel 11:50pm-1:40am (1 hour 50 minutes)
A giant mutant lizard spawned from an atomic test rampages through the streets of New York, defying the combined might of the US Army and Navy as it searches for a quiet place to hatch its eggs. A bookish radiation expert and a shady French secret agent join forces to defeat the creature. Hollywood remake of the Japanese monster adventure, starring Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Maria Pitillo and Hank Azaria.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep dry, keep calm and keep being awesome!

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The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Mop my brow and fan my face! Another bumper retro movie weekend is here and it’s a scorcher!

With the sun beaming down on us, we can almost feel the energy drain from us as we sit back, relax and let the sun beam it’s fiery rays all around us. Sipping on a cool glass of our favourite tipple, we watch the beads of water chaise each other down the side of the glass as we take some time to enjoy a well earned long break and some peace and quiet. Mooching indoors for a change of scene, we’ll turn on the box to enjoy the weekends top rated retro movie wonders as chosen by us. Enjoy!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 27th May

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Casper (1995) Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A paranormal expert moves into a haunted house where his daughter befriends the amiable ghost of a young boy – but things start to go awry when three smelly spooks and two dastardly crooks try to chase the new residents away. Family comedy, starring Christina Ricci, Bill Pullman, Eric Idle, Cathy Moriarty and featuring the voice of Malachi Pearson.

Patch Adams (1998) Sony Movie Channel 1:25pm-3:50pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A talented student doctor turns the medical community upside down with his offbeat views about the healing power of laughter. His methods provoke outrage and intense debate among his professors – but his extrovert nature brightens the lives of all kinds of patients. Comedy drama, starring Robin Williams, Monica Potter, Daniel London, Bob Gunton and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Camelot (1967) BBC2 1:30pm-4:20pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
King Arthur is happily married to Queen Guenevere, but the arrival of handsome knight Sir Lancelot leads to infidelity and betrayal. For a time, the king refuses to believe his wife is having an affair, but the lovers are betrayed by Arthur’s son, the conniving Mordred. Oscar-winning musical based on the Arthurian legend, starring Richard Harris, Vanessa Redgrave, Franco Nero, David Hemmings and Lionel Jeffries.

Spies Like Us (1985) 5STAR 1:35pm-3:45pm
Two incompetent US State Department officials are unwittingly used as decoys on a deadly mission to thwart Soviet activity in Pakistan. Unfortunately, their involvement in such a delicate operation brings the world to the brink of nuclear war. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Forrest, Bruce Davison and Donna Dixon.

Mission: Impossible (1996) ITV 2:30pm-4:35pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Secret agents suspect there is a traitor in their organisation when their latest assignment ends in disaster. The sole survivor is accused of being the mole, forcing him to go on the run to clear his name. However, in the process, he discovers a former Russian spy is selling information about the world’s leading undercover operatives. Action thriller based on the 1960s TV series, starring Tom Cruise, Jon Voight and Ving Rhames.

Napoleon Dynamite (2004) Film4 3:05pm-4:55pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A socially inept high-school student and his lonely unemployed brother find their eccentric home life thrown into upheaval when their meddling uncle comes to stay. The teenage oddball tries to make the best of his changing circumstances, while putting all his skills to the task of helping his new best friend win the class presidency. Comedy, starring Jon Heder, Efren Ramirez and Haylie Duff.

Godzilla (1998) Sony Movie Channel 6:10pm-9:00pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
A giant mutant lizard spawned from an atomic test rampages through the streets of New York, defying the combined might of the US Army and Navy as it searches for a quiet place to hatch its eggs. A bookish radiation expert and a shady French secret agent join forces to defeat the creature. Hollywood remake of the Japanese monster adventure, starring Matthew Broderick, Jean Reno, Maria Pitillo and Hank Azaria.

The Day After Tomorrow (2004) Film4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A climatologist warns global warming will soon result in destructive freak weather, or even another ice age. He thinks the world still has time to prepare for the worst, but the crisis happens almost immediately – and as storms, earthquakes and hurricanes strike in terrifying fashion, he races across America to rescue his son from a frozen New York. Disaster thriller, with Jake Gyllenhaal and Dennis Quaid.

Jaws (1975) ITV 9:50pm-12:25am
A New England seaside town’s tourist season is turned into a nightmare by a giant killer shark. The local police chief’s efforts to protect the public are thwarted by the greedy mayor, forcing him to join forces with a grizzled fisherman and a marine biologist to hunt and kill the monster predator. Steven Spielberg’s thriller, starring Roy Scheider, Richard Dreyfuss and Robert Shaw.

Jaws TShirts

Die Hard 2 (1990) Channel 4 11:10pm-1:25am (2 hours 15 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife, but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

SUNDAY 28th May

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The Punisher (1989) Channel 5 3:10am-4:40am (1 hour 30 minutes)
A former policeman takes the law into his own hands to avenge the murder of his family. However, he ends up fighting to save the children of the gangster he has sworn to bring down when they are kidnapped by a rival syndicate. Vigilante thriller, starring Dolph Lundgren, Louis Gossett Jr and Jeroen Krabbe.

Thunderbirds Are Go! (1966) Film4 1:00pm-2:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
International Rescue is called in to save the first manned space mission to Mars from sinister hijacker The Hood, and ensure a second attempt goes to plan. Puppet adventure based on Gerry Anderson’s TV series, featuring the voices of Shane Rimmer, Ray Barrett, Alexander Davion, Peter Dyneley, Sylvia Anderson and Cliff Richard, voicing a puppet version of himself.

Richie Rich (1994) ITV2 1:05pm-2:55pm
The world’s wealthiest youngster has everything he could possibly want except friends. When his parents go missing, he must try to keep their fortune out of the clutches of a scheming executive, with the help of some less well-off children. Family comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, John Larroquette, Jonathan Hyde, Edward Herrmann, Christine Ebersole and Mike McShane.

The Dark Crystal (1982) Film4 2:55pm-4:40pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

The Spy Who Loved Me (1977) ITV 4:15pm-6:40pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
James Bond teams up with a KGB agent to recover missing British and Soviet nuclear submarines, before whoever stole them can use their warheads. Unfortunately, 007 was responsible for the death of his new ally’s lover – and she is determined to make him pay before their mission is complete. Spy adventure, starring Roger Moore, Barbara Bach, Curt Jurgens and Richard Kiel.

Last Man Standing (1996) ITV4 9:00pm-11:00pm
A tough mobster pitches up at a lonely town on the Texan border during the Prohibition era, and spies an opportunity to cash in on the intense rivalry between warring Irish and Italian crime gangs by offering his services to both sides. Action adventure set in the 1930s, starring Bruce Willis, Christopher Walken and Alexandra Powers.

MONDAY 28th May

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Hook (1991) Sony Movie Channel 2:55am-6:00am (3 hours 5 minutes)
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Matilda (1996) Sony Movie Channel 9:50am-12:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A gifted youngster is packed off by her selfish parents to the prison-like Crunchem Hall School. Once there, she befriends a sweet-natured teacher who convinces her that not all grown-ups are bad – and urges her to use her special powers to turn the tables on the nasty headmistress. Fantasy comedy, adapted from the children’s book by Roald Dahl, with Mara Wilson, Pam Ferris, Embeth Davidtz, Rhea Perlman and Danny DeVito, who also directed.

Matilda Clothing

Clueless (1995) Channel 4 11:15am-1:10pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A rich high-school student uses all her charm and financial clout to boost an awkward new pupil’s image, but soon finds she has created a monster – while her own popularity suffers in the process. Comedy inspired by Jane Austen’s Emma, starring Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy and Paul Rudd.

Clueless Clothing

Escape to Victory (1981) Dave 12:50pm-3:10pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Allied PoWs take to the football field when a group of Nazi officers comes up with the idea to have them take on a German team for a propaganda event. However, the prisoners see a chance to escape during the match. Second World War adventure, with Michael Caine, Sylvester Stallone, Max von Sydow and Daniel Massey. Soccer legends also making appearances include Pele, Bobby Moore and Ossie Ardiles.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) Dave 3:10pm-5:20pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Two notorious outlaws’ routine of bank and train robberies is cut short when a seemingly unstoppable posse is formed to catch them. The pair plan to flee America and start a new life in Bolivia, with the Sundance Kid’s schoolmistress lover in tow – but staying ahead of the law is not so easy. Western, starring Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Katharine Ross.

Hard Target (1993) 11:00pm-1:00am
A woman searching for her missing father hires an out-of-work merchant sailor to guide her through the streets of New Orleans, where his martial arts skills are greatly tested in a series of encounters with sadistic hunters of human prey. John Woo’s action thriller, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Yancy Butler, Lance Henriksen and Wilford Brimley.

Heat (1995) Film4 11:10pm-2:25am (3 hours 15 minutes)
An armoured car hold-up sets a veteran police detective on the trail of a highly intelligent career criminal, whom he is obsessed with capturing. Meanwhile, the robber is planning an elaborate bank heist as his final job before retiring, and a complex game of cat and mouse develops between the two. Michael Mann’s crime thriller, starring Al Pacino, Robert De Niro, Val Kilmer, Jon Voight, Tom Sizemore and Natalie Portman.

Whatever you’re up to this bank holiday weekend, don’t forget to let things defrost and bring a pair of sunnies…. because you never know!

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Strike a match and light my fire! It’s a retro movie filled weekend all over again!

With a backpack full of only the most essential essentials, we’ll set off on an epic adventure like many of our top movie heroes. Heading into the great abyss, we’ll take on each mile as it comes as we venture further into the unknown, taking note of each strange new thing we encounter. Finally, reaching our destination, we’ll pause to reflect on all the we conquered before our minds quickly turn to our next epic adventure.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 24th September

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The Addams Family
(1991) Film4 4:50pm-6:55pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Creepy couple Morticia and Gomez find their unconventional life threatened by a man claiming to be a long-lost relative. When they welcome him with open arms, they fall prey to a plot that could cost them their ancestral home and the family fortune. Black comedy based on the 1960s TV series, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman and Carel Struycken.

Speed 2: Cruise Control (1997) Movie Mix 6:35pm-9:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Feisty heroine Annie and her new boyfriend Alex take a cruise in the Bahamas, but the trip becomes a nightmare when they discover a vengeful computer genius – a former employee laid off because of his terminal illness – is also on board. He has secretly programmed the ship to crash into an oil tanker while he steals a cache of diamonds from the cargo. Action thriller sequel, with Sandra Bullock, Jason Patric and Willem Dafoe.

Fun Fact: The original script was intended to be the third film in the “Die Hard” series. After the success of the first film though, the script was reworked into a Speed sequel instead.

Blue Streak (1999) 5STAR 7:05pm-9:00pm
A convicted jewel thief is released from prison, and sets about recovering his hidden loot – only to discover a police station has since been built where he left it. Undeterred, he poses as a maverick cop and worms his way into the detective division – little realising his problems have only just begun. Comedy, starring Martin Lawrence, Luke Wilson and Peter Greene.

The Mummy Returns (2001) ITV2 7:15pm-9:50pm
Married explorers Rick and Evelyn battle the newly resurrected mummy Imhotep and his ruthless partner, who have captured their son. The undead creature is heading for a confrontation with a legendary ancient warrior – with power over a magical army to be won. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo, Oded Fehr and Patricia Velasquez, with a brief appearance by Dwayne Johnson.

Die Hard (1988) E4 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
New York cop John McClane visits Los Angeles to see his family over the Christmas holiday. Stopping off at his wife’s place of work, he realises armed men have taken over the building and are holding the corporation’s staff to ransom – and only he has the ability to fight back. Action thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and Bonnie Bedelia.

The Full Monty (1997) Movie Mix 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
Six unemployed men from Sheffield decide to become strippers for one night only in a bid to raise extra money. However, with no dancing experience and far from perfect physiques, the men rely on the unique selling point of complete nudity to impress the punters. Comedy, starring Robert Carlyle, Mark Addy, Tom Wilkinson, Hugo Speer and Paul Barber.

On Deadly Ground (1994) ITV4 10:00pm-12:05pm
A tough firefighter sets out to stop the destruction of native tribes and the natural environment by an unscrupulous oil company planning to drill in Alaska. Ecological thriller, directed by and starring Steven Seagal, with Michael Caine, Joan Chen, John C McGinley, R Lee Ermey and Billy Bob Thornton.

Fun Fact: The final scene when Forrest Taft gives the speech about the oil companies and air pollution, was originally a whopping 11 minutes long! Audiences complained that it was overlong and preachy so the scene was re-edited before general release.

SUNDAY 25th September

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Jungle 2 Jungle
(1997) Channel 4 12:30pm-2:25pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A businessman ventures deep into the Amazon to look for his estranged doctor wife seeking a divorce, only to discover he has a 13-year-old son who has been raised as part of a jungle tribe. The boy is sent back to New York with his father, but has a lot to learn about the modern world. Comedy, starring Tim Allen, Lolita Davidovich, Martin Short, JoBeth Williams and Sam Huntington.

Napoleon Dynamite (2004) Film4 1:00pm-2:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A socially inept high-school student and his lonely unemployed brother find their eccentric home life thrown into upheaval when their meddling uncle comes to stay. The teenage oddball tries to make the best of his changing circumstances, while putting all his skills to the task of helping his new best friend win the class presidency. Comedy, starring Jon Heder, Efren Ramirez and Haylie Duff.

Napoleon Dynamite TShirt

Les Miserables (1978) ITV3 1:25pm-4:00pm
A Frenchman imprisoned for stealing food for his starving family escapes from prison, and decides to live an honest life. However, his resolve is tested over the decades to come by an obsessive police inspector determined to recapture him, along with the chaos that ensues as revolution sweeps the country. Period drama based on Victor Hugo’s novel, starring Richard Jordan, Anthony Perkins, John Gielgud and Ian Holm.

Carry On Screaming (1966) ITV3 4:00pm-5:55pm
A sinister boffin, his sultry sister and two genetic misfits kidnap innocent women from spooky Hocomb Woods and turn them into mannequins – but two dim-witted detectives look set to throw a spanner in the works. Comedy horror, starring Kenneth Williams, Fenella Fielding, Harry H Corbett, Charles Hawtrey, Jim Dale, Joan Sims and Bernard Bresslaw.

Kindergarten Cop (1990) ITV2 6:45pm-9:00pm
A tough detective is forced to pose as a preschool teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t forget the little black bags for you-know-what and remember that if you’re struggling up a hill, you’ll have to come back down eventually.
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Sweet pumpkin pie! Can it be? But how the….? So soon? Yep…. another retro movie rundown is HERE!

Like a herd of stampeding buffalo, we find ourselves once again steaming head-first at full speed into another weekend of movie greatness. In a blind panic, we’ll steam through everything in our paths as we battle and fight our way to the front of the group. Leaving nothing but duct and destruction behind us, we’ll stop for only the very best retro movies that are before us as we pause to enjoy their celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 30th July
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Captain Ron (1992) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
An American businessman learns that his recently deceased uncle has left him a yacht moored in the Caribbean, and ill-advisedly puts his trust in a wayward one-eyed mariner to help him and his family sail the vessel back to Miami. Comedy adventure, starring Kurt Russell, Martin Short, Mary Kay Place and Benjamin Salisbury.

Sister Act (1992) Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Nightclub singer Deloris Van Cartier agrees to testify against her gangster boyfriend after witnessing a murder. Placed in protective custody by the authorities, she is less than pleased to discover she is expected to pose as chaste nun Sister Mary Clarence in a convent. Comedy, starring Whoopi Goldberg, Harvey Keitel, Maggie Smith, Bill Nunn and Kathy Najimy.

Batteries Not Included (1987) ITV2 1:30pm-3:35pm
A family of tiny alien spacecraft intervenes to help the residents of a run-down Manhattan brownstone tenement stop greedy developers from demolishing their homes. However, the miniature flying saucers have the odds stacked against them as they bravely do all they can to save the day. Sci-fi fantasy, starring Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Frank McRae and Elizabeth Pena.

Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure (1989) ITV2 3:35pm-5:25pm
Two dim-witted teenagers with dreams of rock stardom seem doomed to fail a school history project, unaware the future of the human race depends on their success. A time traveller is given the job of making sure they pass the test by sending them on a series of adventures in the past. Comedy, starring Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter and George Carlin.

Napoleon Dynamite (2004) Film4 5:05pm-6:55pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A socially inept high-school student and his lonely unemployed brother find their eccentric home life thrown into upheaval when their meddling uncle comes to stay. The teenage oddball tries to make the best of his changing circumstances, while putting all his skills to the task of helping his new best friend win the class presidency. Comedy, starring Jon Heder, Efren Ramirez and Haylie Duff.

Napoleon Dynamite T-Shirt

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) 5STAR 8:10pm-10:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

Iron Man 2 (2010) Channel 4 9:00pm-11:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Tycoon-turned-superhero Tony Stark confronts a fearsome new foe in a Russian scientist using his own deadly hi-tech weapons to seek revenge. He also faces a struggle to keep his secrets out of the hands of both the government and an amoral rival, and discovers the armour he developed to fight evil is slowly killing him. Action adventure sequel, with Robert Downey Jr, Mickey Rourke and Don Cheadle.

Iron Man Merchandise

Predator (1987) Film4 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
An elite military team takes on a top-secret mission in the jungles of Central America, but the soldiers realise they have been deceived by their CIA employers. A greater danger presents itself when they are stalked by a lethal alien big-game hunter with the power to become invisible, that has come to Earth to stalk human prey. Sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers and Bill Duke.

The Dark Knight (2008) ITV2 10:05pm-12:00am (1 hour 55 minutes)
In the sequel to Batman Begins, the masked hero finds a new ally in his war on organised crime in Gotham’s crusading new district attorney, Harvey Dent. However, both men are pushed to their limits by the rise of the Joker, a criminal mastermind spreading chaos and destruction throughout the city for his own amusement. Comic-book thriller, starring Christian Bale, Aaron Eckhart and an Oscar-winning Heath Ledger.

Batman Merchandise

Reign of Fire (2001) BBC1 11:50pm-1:25am (1 hour 35 minutes)
In the aftermath of decades of apocalyptic attacks by dragons, small pockets of survivors try to stave off the scaly fire-breathers. However, the meagre remains of the world’s heavy artillery are not enough to stop them, so a small group of people joins forces with a zealous dragon slayer in a final bid to save the world from destruction. Fantasy adventure, with Christian Bale and Matthew McConaughey.

SUNDAY 31st July

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A Goofy Movie (1995) Channel 4 12:30pm-2:00pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
The Disney cartoon dog takes his son on an old-fashioned fishing trip in an attempt to bond with the lad. However, young Max has boasted to his pals that he is going to a pop concert in Los Angeles, and has a few ideas on how to trick his dopey dad. Animated comedy, featuring the voices of Bill Farmer, Jason Marsden and Wallace Shawn.

The Parent Trap (1998) Channel 5 3:20pm-6:00pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
Identical twin sisters who are unaware of each other’s existence meet by accident. They decide to join forces in a bid to reunite their estranged parents, and switch places to get the warring couple to kiss and make up. Remake of the 1961 Disney comedy, starring Dennis Quaid, Natasha Richardson, Elaine Hendrix and Lindsay Lohan in a dual role.

Bruce Almighty (2003) Channel 5 6:00pm-8:00pm (2 hours)
God tires of a down-on-his-luck reporter’s constant complaining, so passes on his powers to give him a taste of ultimate responsibility. The newsman falls in love with his extraordinary abilities – but a never-ending stream of incoming prayers and his ambitious attempt to please everyone soon prove there is more to the job than meets the eye. Comedy, starring Jim Carrey, Jennifer Aniston and Morgan Freeman.

Jingle All the Way (1996) Film4 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A workaholic father tries to make up for his perpetual absence from home by promising to buy his son a hugely popular action figure for Christmas – little realising every other father in town has the same idea. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Jake Lloyd, Rita Wilson, Robert Conrad and Phil Hartman.

Tremors (1989) ITV4 10:00pm-12:05am
A dull American town in the middle of the desert is suddenly attacked by huge man-eating subterranean creatures. Luckily, two dimwitted but brave handymen step into the breach to lead a ragtag bunch of locals and a mismatched pair of survivalists in the battle against the gruesome worm-like monsters. Comedy horror, with Kevin Bacon, Fred Ward, Finn Carter, Michael Gross, Reba McEntire and Bobby Jacoby.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always check under the bed for monsters and don’t forget to turn the light off in the fridge before closing the door.

xoxo