The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 318

The weekend? So soon? Boy did that go fast! Coming your way thicker and faster than a fully loaded train on the hill, we find ourselves awash with more classic retro films that we know what to do with! Sadly, we can’t watch them all, but we can sure give a whole heap of them a good go! Enjoy.

SATURDAY 26th January

Close Encounters of the Third Kind: The Director’s Cut (1977) Channel 5 11:45am-2:30pm
An electrical repairman sees a fleet of UFOs flying overhead and afterwards becomes obsessed with images of a mountain, driving his wife to despair. Meanwhile, a woman develops a similar fixation after her son vanishes, and a team of scientists investigates a series of strange events around the world – until they are all drawn to Devil’s Tower in Wyoming, where the aliens are about to make contact. An alternate cut of Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi drama, with Richard Dreyfuss, Francois Truffaut and Teri Garr.



Dr Dolittle (1998) Film4 3:45pm-5:25pm
A doctor is stunned to discover he can talk to animals, and it is not long before his home and surgery are taken over by an assortment of ailing creatures in need of help. However, when the medic’s odd behaviour attracts his colleagues’ attention, he is forced to rely on his new-found furry friends to save him from the asylum. Comedy, starring Eddie Murphy, Ossie Davis and Oliver Platt.

Charlie’s Angels (2000) Sony Movie Channel 4:45pm-6:50pm
Three private investigators are recruited to rescue a computer genius from the clutches of a rival. They discover there is more at stake than they thought, as the captive genius has created a dangerous piece of software that must not fall into the wrong hands. Action adventure, based on the TV series, starring Cameron Diaz, Drew Barrymore, Lucy Liu and Bill Murray.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977) ITV4 6:00pm-7:55pm
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.



The Mummy (1999) ITV2 6:45pm-9:00pm
A soldier of fortune joins an academic and her conniving brother on an expedition to an ancient Egyptian lost city. The explorers accidentally cause the spirit of a vengeful priest with awe-inspiring supernatural powers to rise from his tomb, leading to a desperate battle for survival. Fantasy action adventure, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo and Oded Fehr.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Sony Movie Channel 6:50pm-9:00pm
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Clothing

Men's Charcoal Marl Distressed Logo Glow In The Dark Ghostbusters T-Shirt



Edward Scissorhands (1990) E4 7:00pm-9:00pm
A reclusive genius creates a boy but dies before completing him, leaving his brainchild with scissor-like blades in place of hands. A kindly woman from a nearby suburb takes pity on the lonely figure and welcomes him into her home. He quickly becomes a hit in the neighbourhood – but then his new friends start to turn against him. Tim Burton’s fantasy, starring Johnny Depp, Winona Ryder, Dianne Wiest and Vincent Price.



Rocky (1976) ITV 10:45pm-1:00am
Philadelphia brawler Rocky Balboa gets a shot at the world heavyweight title when current champion Apollo Creed decides to give an unknown boxer a chance in celebration of America’s bicentennial. Oscar-winning drama, starring Sylvester Stallone, Burgess Meredith, Talia Shire, Burt Young and Carl Weathers.

SUNDAY 27th January

Muppet Treasure Island (1996) E4 12:00pm-2:05pm
A youngster finds a treasure map and joins an expedition searching for a famous buccaneer’s lost treasure on an unexplored island. However, their mission falls foul of a band of pirates hiding out among the crew. A musical comedy based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, starring Tim Curry, Billy Connolly, Jennifer Saunders and Kevin Bishop alongside the puppet characters.

From Russia with Love (1963) ITV 2:15pm-4:30pm
James Bond is sent to steal a top-secret Soviet decoding machine and ends up helping its operator defect to the West. However, he discovers the mission is really a trap set by international crime syndicate Spectre, and struggles to evade his would-be assassins. Spy thriller, starring Sean Connery, Robert Shaw, Daniela Bianchi and Lotte Lenya.



Charlie and the Chocolate Factory (2005) Channel 5 3:45pm-6:00pm
Penniless Charlie Bucket is one of five lucky children who find a golden ticket in a chocolate bar, winning a once-in-a-lifetime tour of eccentric recluse Willy Wonka’s magical sweet company. Unfortunately, the other winners each face a grim fate when they start to misbehave. Tim Burton’s children’s fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s novel, starring Johnny Depp, Freddie Highmore, Helena Bonham Carter, and Deep Roy playing all the Oompa Loompas.

Roald Dahl Gifts

Roald Dahl Charlie And The Chocolate Factory China Tea Cup & Saucer Set



Antz (1998) ITV2 4:00pm-5:45pm
A neurotic worker ant passes himself off as a soldier to impress a princess. However, he provokes a jealously ambitious general with an accidental act of heroism – so he and his beloved decide to flee the brutal colony and go in search of the promised land of Insectopia. Animated comedy, with the voices of Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman and Sylvester Stallone.

Short Circuit (1986) Film4 4:25pm-6:25pm
A military robot is struck by lightning and develops a mind of its own. The machine embarks on a series of comic misadventures, but the company that made him wants him back. He realises his only hope is to convince the scientist who invented him that he really is alive. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Steve Guttenberg, Ally Sheedy and Fisher Stevens.



The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey (2012) ITV2 5:45pm-9:00pm
Unassuming hobbit Bilbo Baggins is pulled out of his comfortable life when Gandalf the wizard volunteers him for a dangerous quest. He joins a party of dwarves who are on a mission to reclaim their lost homeland, which has been taken over by a dragon. When the group journeys into the Misty Mountains, Bilbo becomes separated from the dwarves and falls into a cave, where he finds himself confronted by Gollum and forced to play a riddle game. It is set in Middle-earth 60 years before the events of The Lord of the Rings and is the first part of Peter Jackson’s fantasy adventure trilogy based on JRR Tolkien’s novel, starring Martin Freeman, Ian McKellen, Richard Armitage, James Nesbitt, Ken Stott, Cate Blanchett, Ian Holm and Christopher Lee.

X-Men 2 (2003) Film4 6:25pm-9:00pm
Mutant heroes the X-Men are forced into an uneasy alliance with arch-enemy Magneto to battle a common foe. Following an attempt on the US president’s life, a sinister military scientist launches a raid on Professor Xavier’s school and hatches a plan to rid the world of all mutants. Superhero adventure sequel, starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Alan Cumming, Halle Berry and Brian Cox.

The Day After Tomorrow (2004) E4 8:00pm-10:20pm
A climatologist warns global warming will soon result in destructive freak weather or even another ice age. He thinks the world still has time to prepare for the worst, but the crisis happens almost immediately – and as storms, earthquakes and hurricanes strike in terrifying fashion, he races across America to rescue his son from a frozen New York. Disaster thriller, with Jake Gyllenhaal and Dennis Quaid.

Fun fact: 20th Century Fox invited a group of scientists to preview the film, to test their reactions to the science used in the film. None of the scientists were impressed with what they saw, although most conceded that the movie was enjoyable nonsense.

Air Force One (1997) 5STAR 9:00pm-11:30pm
The American president is forced to take drastic measures to save his family when their plane is hijacked by Russian terrorists demanding the release of a jailed radical general. Meanwhile, the vice president tries to manage the crisis from Washington and has to decide whether to shoot the aircraft down. Action thriller, starring Harrison Ford, Gary Oldman, Glenn Close, Dean Stockwell and William H Macy.

Jaws 3 (1983) ITV4 9:00pm-11:05pm
A shark is captured by divers and put on display in a Florida marine centre, where it ultimately dies. However, examination of the body reveals the seemingly fully-grown shark was actually a baby – and its enormous, ferocious mother soon comes looking for it. Thriller sequel, originally released in cinemas in 3D, starring Dennis Quaid, Simon MacCorkindale, Louis Gossett Jr and Bess Armstrong.

Jaws Clothing and Accessories

Jaws Pin Badge Set

Whatever you’re up this weekend, remember that sometimes the quietest people in the room often have the most interesting things to say.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 264

Sugar and spice and all things nice! Another retro movie filled weekend is here and ready to woosh us off to far and distant lands. Hold onto your hats!

Packing up our trusty bag, we find ourselves zipping up and tucking away all the essentials of the day in preparation for the adventures ahead. Ticking off each item as we go, we’ll soon be packed up and ready to rock as we begin our journey to the top of our local hiking spot. With our eyes eager to catch all the beauty spots and scenes that await us, we’ll stride closer and closer to the peak as we briefly stop to catch our breath and take in the crisp air and natural wonder.

SATURDAY 21st October

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Smokey and the Bandit (1977) Sony Movie Channel 3:40pm-5:50pm
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.

Liar Liar (1997) ITV2 5:05pm-6:10pm
A lawyer, whose underhand ploys to win cases leave him little time to see his son, discovers he is incapable of lying after the boy’s birthday wish makes his dad tell only the truth. However, this causes a host of problems as the attorney tries to muddle his way through a high-profile divorce settlement. Comedy, with Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Jennifer Tilly and Cary Elwes.

The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring (2001) ITV2 6:45pm-10:20pm
An unassuming hobbit is plunged into a battle against the forces of darkness when his uncle bequeaths him a magical ring of immense power. He joins a fellowship of heroes to embark on a perilous quest to destroy the ring before it falls into the hands of its creator – a dark lord who needs it to regain his power and conquer the world. The first part of Peter Jackson’s epic fantasy trilogy based on JRR Tolkien’s novel, starring Elijah Wood, Ian McKellen, Viggo Mortensen, Sean Astin, Christopher Lee, Liv Tyler and Orlando Bloom.

Lord of the Rings Merchandise

Die Hard (1988) E4 9:00pm-11:40pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
New York cop John McClane visits Los Angeles to see his family over the Christmas holiday. Stopping off at his wife’s place of work, he realises armed men have taken over the building and are holding the corporation’s staff to ransom – and only he has the ability to fight back. Action thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and Bonnie Bedelia.

Lethal Weapon 4 (1998) Dave 9:00pm-11:30pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Mismatched LAPD detectives Riggs and Murtaugh stumble across a ship transporting Chinese immigrants into the US. As they try to get to the bottom of the organisation behind the smuggling, they find themselves up against a master criminal who is an expert in martial arts and heads a triad responsible for people-trafficking and forgery. Action adventure sequel, starring Mel Gibson, Danny Glover, Rene Russo, Joe Pesci, Jet Li and Chris Rock.

SUNDAY 22nd October

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The Railway Children (1970) ITV3 12:45pm-3:00pm
Three Edwardian children are forced to leave their comfortable middle-class London home and move to the wilds of Yorkshire after their father is wrongfully imprisoned for treason. Family drama adapted from E Nesbit’s story, starring Jenny Agutter, Sally Thomsett, Gary Warren, Dinah Sheridan, Bernard Cribbins, William Mervyn and Iain Cuthbertson.

Fun Fact: Sally Thomsett was 20 when she was cast as 11-year-old Phyllis. Her contract forbade her to reveal her true age during the making of the film and she was not allowed to be seen smoking, drinking, going out with her boyfriend or driving the sports cars that were her passion. Even the film crew did not know her true age.

Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV 2:55pm-4:35pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

The NeverEnding Story (1984) W 4:10pm-6:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A lonely boy, neglected by his father and bullied at school, finds comfort in a mysterious book about a young hero’s quest to save his world from destruction. However, as he reads the tale, he begins to become part of the story. Fantasy adventure based on Michael Edne’s novel, starring Barret Oliver, Noah Hathaway, Gerald McRaney, Moses Gunn and Patricia Hayes.

Star Trek: Generations (1994) Syfy 4:30pm-7:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
USS Enterprise Captain Jean-Luc Picard must stop a deranged genius obsessed with gaining access to a mysterious energy source – regardless of the threat to entire civilisations that lie in his path. Help arrives from an unlikely quarter – his supposedly long dead predecessor Captain James T Kirk. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, William Shatner, Malcolm McDowell and Whoopi Goldberg.

Star Trek Merchandise

The Lord of the Rings: The Two Towers (2002) ITV2 6:25pm-10:00pm
Frodo and Sam continue their quest to destroy the all-powerful ring, bringing them face to face with the magical artefact’s twisted former owner Gollum. Meanwhile, their allies prepare to make a desperate last stand against the vast armies of the corrupted wizard Saruman, who has declared war on a neighbouring kingdom. Part two of Peter Jackson’s fantasy adventure trilogy, starring Elijah Wood, Sean Astin, Viggo Mortensen, Ian McKellen, Billy Boyd, Dominic Monaghan, Andy Serkis and Christopher Lee.

Bridget Jones’s Diary (2001) ITV3 11:10pm-1:10am
A single woman begins a new year with resolutions to find love, quit her bad habits and take a step up the career ladder. Her plans crumble as she tries to deal with her mother’s infidelity, get over a passionate fling with her boss and come to terms with her feelings for an uptight lawyer. Romantic comedy based on Helen Fielding’s novel, starring Renee Zellweger, Hugh Grant and Colin Firth.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, don’t double dip and always remember to put it back in the fridge after.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 229

Sweet honey and pancakes! Must be time for another retro movie weekend!

With a swish and a swoosh, we’re making quick work of the almost herculean task of freshly painting a black canvas of a room (we said almost). Starting at one corner, we’ll watch the fresh, bright new colour explode outwards with each new stroke of the brush as we breathe a whole new character to a once tired and uninspiring space. With the smell of newness and change in the air, we’ll step back from our work to admire our new creation before taking a moment to capture our achievements onto celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 28th JANUARY

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Gold
(1974) Channel 5 11:25am-1:50pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A South African engineer is appointed general manager of a gold mine, and exposes a conspiracy to boost the price of the ore by drilling into an underground lake beneath where the company is digging, causing a devastating flood. Action adventure based on a novel by Wilbur Smith, starring Roger Moore, Susannah York, Ray Milland, Bradford Dillman and John Gielgud.

101 Dalmatians (1996) 5STAR 2:50pm-5:00pm
Wicked fashion designer Cruella De Vil steals a huge litter of newborn Dalmatian puppies to turn into a magnificent coat – but the lucky pups have many four-legged friends who are determined the evil woman and her cronies will get their just deserts. Disney’s live-action remake of the animated comedy adventure, starring Glenn Close, Jeff Daniels, Joely Richardson, Hugh Laurie and Mark Williams.

Looney Tunes: Back in Action (2003) ITV2 4:05pm-5:50pm
Daffy Duck tires of playing second fiddle to Bugs Bunny, so sets off to seek his fortune. He ends up helping a would-be stuntman rescue his screen idol father, in reality a secret agent, who has been kidnapped by the deranged chairman of the Acme Corporation. Live action and animated comedy, with Brendan Fraser, Steve Martin, Timothy Dalton and Jenna Elfman.

Clueless (1995) Film4 5:05pm-6:55pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A rich high-school student uses all her charm and financial clout to boost an awkward new pupil’s image, but soon finds she has created a monster – while her own popularity suffers in the process. Comedy inspired by Jane Austen’s Emma, starring Alicia Silverstone, Stacey Dash, Brittany Murphy and Paul Rudd.

Clueless Merchandise

Big Momma’s House (2000) 5STAR 8:30pm-10:35pm
A dedicated FBI agent will stop at nothing to catch a dangerous escaped convict, even if it means donning a fat suit and drag to pose as the obese old woman who lives across the road from the felon’s girlfriend. Comedy, with Martin Lawrence, Nia Long, Paul Giamatti, Jascha Washington, Terrence Dashon Howard and Ella Mitchell.

SUNDAY 29th JANUARY

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The Love Bug
(1968) Film4 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Herbie, an irrepressible Beetle car with a mind of its own, takes a shine to a struggling racing driver and leads him to victory on the track. However, his success attracts the attention of an unscrupulous rival competitor, who will go to any lengths to win the most important race of all. Disney comedy, starring Dean Jones, Michele Lee, Buddy Hackett and David Tomlinson.

The Borrowers (1997) Film4 3:10pm-4:50pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A family of four-inch-high people living beneath the floorboards of an ordinary human home help the owner’s son fight back when a dastardly lawyer plans to demolish the house and make way for a luxury apartment block. Children’s fantasy, starring John Goodman, Jim Broadbent, Celia Imrie, Flora Newbigin and Tom Felton.

Inspector Gadget (1999) ITV2 3:00pm-4:35pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
A clumsy security guard is critically injured during a run-in with a thief, so his cybernetics-expert employer transforms him into the ultimate crime-fighting machine – a bionic officer with an array of gadgets and weaponry cunningly concealed inside his body. Disney comedy adventure based on the 1980s cartoon series, starring Matthew Broderick, Rupert Everett and Joely Fishe.

The River Wild (1994) Film4 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A headstrong white-water rafting expert embarks on a holiday with her family, but their fun comes to an abrupt end when two killers show up. The fugitives’ only escape route from the law is down a raging river, so they take the woman and her son hostage to act as guides. Meanwhile, her husband desperately tries to keep track from the riverbank, waiting for his opportunity to launch a rescue attempt. Action thriller directed by the late Curtis Hanson, with Meryl Streep, Kevin Bacon, David Strathairn and Joseph Mazzello.

X-Men (2000) E4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
Super-powered outsiders Rogue and Wolverine find themselves at a school for mutants which is run by a benevolent psychic professor. While there, they agree to join others with similar gifts to take on a superhuman mutant terrorist faction intent on establishing dominance over mankind. Sci-fi comic-book adventure, starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Anna Paquin and Halle Berry.

Superhero Merchandise

Cliffhanger (1993) ITV 10:45pm-12:45am (2 hours)
A retired mountain rescue expert is drawn into a battle of wits with a psychopathic criminal searching for a $100million fortune lost in the Rockies – and puts his life on the line as he negotiates the treacherous mountains in a bid to stay one step ahead of the crook. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, Janine Turner and Michael Rooker.

Sleepy Hollow (1999) Channel 4 11:00pm-1:00am (2 hours)
A sceptical 18th-century detective is sent to a small hamlet supposedly terrorised by a demonic headless horseman who decapitates his victims. The investigator refuses to believe in the supernatural, convinced a human killer is behind the murders – but the legend proves to be all too true. Tim Burton’s gothic horror, starring Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson and Christopher Walken.

The Cider House Rules (1999) BBC2 11:30pm-1:30am (2 hours)
An orphan grows up under the wing of the doctor running the home where he lives, and helps him deliver babies to unmarried mothers and perform abortions. However, he is eager to see more of life and joins a pilot and his girlfriend on the road – but unforeseen events present him with a host of difficult personal and moral decisions. Drama, starring Michael Caine in an Oscar-winning role, with Tobey Maguire, Charlize Theron and Paul Rudd.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always remember to hit save and don’t forget to always have spare batteries around….just in case.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 210

Sweet potato pie! Another retro movie weekend is before us and….well…what a treat it is!

So like a battle torn and sea life hardened Pirate, we find ourselves standing before a overflowing chest of treasure. Stacked high with gems, gold and silver, we’ll dream of all the amazing things that our plunder will bring us before safely stashing it in our super-secret hiding place. Will we ever return to get it back and will it still be there if we do? Time will tell.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 27th August

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Superman
(1978) ITV4 4:00pm-7:00pm
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman TShirts

Turner & Hooch (1989) E4 4:30pm-6:30pm (2 hours)
A Californian detective investigating the murder of a local man by drug smugglers has only one witness to help him solve the case – the large, smelly dog that belonged to the victim, which is about to turn the detective’s well-ordered existence into chaos. Family comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham and Craig T Nelson.

Coming to America (1988) Dave 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A bored African prince defies his father’s plans for an arranged marriage and escapes to the USA to find a bride on his own terms. Comedy, starring Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in several roles, with James Earl Jones, Allison Dean, Eriq La Salle and Madge Sinclair.

Rambo III (1988) Syfy 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Predator 2 (1990) Film4 11:20pm-1:30am (2 hours 10 minutes)
A Los Angeles cop, working to bring down the city’s drug gangs, suspects Jamaican criminals when he discovers several of his targets killed and skinned alive. However, the culprit behind the murders reveals himself to be an alien big-game hunter – with the stealth and guile to outwit the police and criminals alike. Sci-fi sequel, starring Danny Glover, Bill Paxton, Gary Busey and Maria Conchita Alonso.

Fun Fact: The film was re-cut over 20 times, according to director Stephen Hopkins, because of more graphic shots of mutilated bodies and decapitations by the Predator.

SUNDAY 28th August

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Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
(1989) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A professor invents a ray with the power to reduce objects in size. Unfortunately, his kids and their meddling friends activate it and are shrunk to microscopic proportions. When they are accidentally thrown out with the rubbish, the children have to contend with all kinds of animals and insects on their journey home across the backyard. Disney comedy, with Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman and Amy O’Neill.

Bean (1997) ITV2 4:55pm-6:45pm
The hapless fool is employed as a security guard for a British art gallery and is sent to Los Angeles to bring back a famous painting. Unfortunately, he finds himself mistaken for a renowned art professor and invited to make an important presentation. Mel Smith’s British comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Burt Reynolds, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Peter Capaldi and June Brow.

Mr Bean TShirt

Despicable Me (2010) ITV 4:55pm-6:35pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minions Merchandise

Star Trek: First Contact (1996) Syfy 4:50pm-7:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Captain Jean-Luc Picard and the crew of the Enterprise face their deadliest enemies, the Borg, who travel back in time in an attempt to change Earth’s history. The starship follows on a mission to foil their plan, but the vessel is taken over by members of the cyborg collective, leaving Picard consumed by a desire for revenge. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, James Cromwell and Alice Krige.

Star Trek Clothing

MONDAY 29th August

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Beethoven (1992) ITV 10:30am-12:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992) Channel 4 12:55pm-2:40pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A scientist perfects a device for making objects grow when they come into contact with electricity. Unfortunately, his two-year-old son is accidentally turned into a giant and goes on the rampage through the streets of Las Vegas. Disney comedy sequel, starring Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman, Robert Oliveri and Lloyd Bridges.

Joe Kidd (1972) 3:15pm-5:00pm Channel 5 (1 hour 45 minutes)
A bounty hunter is asked to capture a Mexican rebel, and accepts the job after the outlaw’s men attack his own ranch. But when he witnesses the cruel methods used by his employer, he resolves to bring the fugitive to a fair trial rather than let him face rough justice. Western, starring Clint Eastwood, Robert Duvall and John Saxon. Edited for language and violence.

Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985) ITV4 5:10pm-7:00pm
America’s most inept cops graduate and are let loose on the streets – under the command of an unscrupulous lieutenant whose promotion depends on their failure. Fortunately for him, their unique brand of policing actually leads to an increase in the crime rate. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, David Graf and Michael Winslow.

The Dirty Dozen (1967) Dave 5:00pm-8:00pm (3 hours)
An uncompromising major is placed in charge of a seemingly suicidal mission to destroy a French chateau being used as a base by Nazi officers. Needing tough but expendable soldiers for the task, he recruits 12 hardened criminals from a military prison. Second World War action adventure, starring Lee Marvin, Telly Savalas, Ernest Borgnine, Charles Bronson and Donald Sutherland.

Thor: The Dark World (2013) BBC1 8:30pm-10:15pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The alien thunder god returns to Earth when a powerful weapon from the dawn of time is discovered. The device attracts the attention of an old enemy of his people, who intends to use it to plunge the universe into darkness – and to stop him, Thor must form an uneasy alliance with his treacherous brother Loki. Superhero adventure sequel, starring Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston and Natalie Portman.

Thor Merchandise

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, maybe wait ten mins before eating more and don’t forget to take a plastic bag with you to the shops.

xoxo

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The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 177

Jingle all the way! Tis the season and tis certainly time for another installment of our Retro Movie Rundown!

Like a frantic parent with just a few hours left to finish wrapping up alllll the big and small gifts ready for the big day, we find ourselves faced with a battle involving paper, tape and patience.  We’ll get ever more creative with ways to wrap even the most obscure shapes and sizes just so we can hold the suspense for the recipient for just a little longer. We’ll start with a pile of items and materials and end up with a complete collection of suspense and joy.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 19th DECEMBER

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Stargate (1994) 5* 11:40am-2:05pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
An Egyptologist and a soldier head an expedition through a mysterious portal to an alien planet. The world they find resembles ancient Egypt and is under the rule of a tyrant who has convinced the downtrodden inhabitants that he is a god – until the humans incite the enslaved populace to fight back. Sci-fi adventure, starring Kurt Russell, James Spader and Jaye Davidson.

Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) Syfy 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Captain Picard and the Enterprise crew uncover a conspiracy by their own superiors and a sinister alien race to take over a peaceful world and exploit its power to prolong life. However, the crew is forced to defy Federation orders and turns renegade to protect the planet’s inhabitants. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, F Murray Abraham, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner and Michael Dorn.

Star Trek Clothing

Dad’s Army (1971) BBC2 London 5:00pm-6:35pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
The ragtag soldiers of the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard are given the chance to prove their mettle by apprehending three German aviators who have parachuted into the country in the vanguard of a suspected Nazi invasion. British comedy based on the TV series, starring Arthur Lowe, John Le Mesurier, Clive Dunn, Bill Pertwee, Ian Lavender and Arnold Ridley.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Comedy Central 5:00pm-7:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Merchandise

Wayne’s World (1992) GOLD 5:15pm-7:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Two heavy-metal fans broadcast an amateur TV programme from their basement. A slimy network executive offers them the chance to turn professional, but as they enjoy the perks of wealth and fame, they find their show being ruined by corporate interference. Comedy, starring Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Rob Lowe, Tia Carrere and Lara Flynn Boyle, with a cameo by Alice Cooper.

The Fugitive (1993) Dave 6:30pm-9:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
A doctor is convicted of his wife’s murder and forced to go on the run to prove his innocence – but his efforts to find the mysterious one-armed man he believes is the real killer are hampered by a tenacious US marshal. Thriller, starring Harrison Ford, an Oscar-winning Tommy Lee Jones, Sela Ward, Julianne Moore and Joe Pantoliano.

Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) ITV2 7:25pm-9:00pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, tires of being scary and decides to take over the friendly world of Christmas. After kidnapping Santa, he prepares to take his place and do Christmas in his own ghoulish way. Stop-motion animated fantasy, with the voices of Chris Sarandon, Catherine O’Hara and Paul Reubens, and a musical score by Danny Elfman.

Jackie Chan’s First Strike (1996) ITV4 8:30pm-10:15pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A Hong Kong cop delves into the murky world of international arms theft to track down a missing nuclear warhead – but the bad guys try to get him out of the way by framing him for murder. Martial arts adventure, starring Jackie Chan, Jackson Lou, Annie Wu, Bill Tung and Jouri Petrov. In Mandarin, Cantonese, English, Russian and Ukrainian.

The Inbetweeners Movie (2011) E4 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
Awkward teenagers Simon, Will, Jay and Neil plan a holiday to the Greek island of Crete after they finish their exams, hoping to experience drink, sex and debauchery beyond their wildest dreams. However, things do not quite work out as planned. Comedy based on the TV series, with Joe Thomas, Simon Bird, James Buckley and Blake Harrison.

Notting Hill (1999) ITV London 11:05pm-1:20am (2 hours 15 minutes)
A recently divorced bookshop owner finds love with a glamorous Hollywood film star, but ends up the focus of unwanted media interest – which makes maintaining a relationship a tricky proposition. Romantic comedy written by Richard Curtis, starring Hugh Grant, Julia Roberts, Rhys Ifans, Emma Chambers, James Dreyfus and Gina McKee.

Rambo III (1988) ITV4 10:15pm-12:20am (2 hours 5 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Fun Fact: John Rambo’s horse also appeared in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) as Indiana Jones’ horse.

SUNDAY 20th DECEMBER

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Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) Syfy 11:00am-1:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
The gun-toting treasure seeker is thrown into a furious battle with a mysterious secret society as she races against time to locate the missing pieces of a legendary artefact that grants the owner the ability to control time. Action adventure based on the video games, starring Angelina Jolie, Daniel Craig, Leslie Phillips, Iain Glen, Chris Barrie and Jon Voight.

WarGames (1983) 5* 1:45pm-4:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A teenager hacks into a top-secret military supercomputer, which challenges him to what he thinks is a game. However, the machine has complete control of the US nuclear arsenal, and the youngster’s actions are unwittingly pushing the world to the brink of war. Thriller, starring Matthew Broderick, Ally Sheedy, Dabney Coleman and John Wood.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) ITV3 1:50pm-3:55pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
An eccentric confectionery king announces that five children will be given a tour of his wondrous factory. The winners turn out to be a kind-hearted boy from a penniless family and four obnoxious brats, who face a terrible fate when they misbehave. Musical fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s classic book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum and Roy Kinnear.

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory Merchandise

Toy Story 3 (2010) BBC1 London 3:05pm-4:45pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Woody, Buzz and the other toys accidently end up in a daycare centre when their owner grows up. At first this seems like the perfect new home for them, but when they realise the dangers lurking under the surface, they begin to formulate an escape plan. Pixar animated adventure sequel, with the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Michael Keaton and Ned Beatty.

Toy Story Wallpaper

The Addams Family (1991) Channel 4 3:15pm-5:10pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Creepy couple Morticia and Gomez find their unconventional life threatened by a man claiming to be a long-lost relative. When they welcome him with open arms, they fall prey to a plot that could cost them their ancestral home and the family fortune. Black comedy based on the 1960s TV series, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman and Carel Struycken.

Pinocchio (1940) Channel 5 5:05pm-6:50pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A lonely old toy-maker’s dream of having a son comes true when a kindly fairy brings one of his puppets to life. The wooden boy wants to become a real human but has to prove his worth, a task easier said than done when so many temptations cross his path. Disney animated adventure, featuring the voices of Dick Jones, Christian Rub and Cliff Edwards.

Pinocchio Jewellery

Home Alone (1990) Channel 4 6:00pm-8:00pm (2 hours)
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

War of the Worlds (2005) Channel 5 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A divorced father’s rare weekend with his two estranged children descends into horror when alien war machines rise from beneath Earth and begin to systematically destroy every human being in their path – leaving the man with the dangerous task of getting his kids to safety. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi thriller, based on HG Wells’ novel, with Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin, Miranda Otto and Tim Robbins.

Whatever you’re up to, always remember to leave room for dessert and don’t forget to measure twice and cut once.

xoxo