The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 177

Jingle all the way! Tis the season and tis certainly time for another installment of our Retro Movie Rundown!

Like a frantic parent with just a few hours left to finish wrapping up alllll the big and small gifts ready for the big day, we find ourselves faced with a battle involving paper, tape and patience.  We’ll get ever more creative with ways to wrap even the most obscure shapes and sizes just so we can hold the suspense for the recipient for just a little longer. We’ll start with a pile of items and materials and end up with a complete collection of suspense and joy.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 19th DECEMBER

.
Stargate (1994) 5* 11:40am-2:05pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
An Egyptologist and a soldier head an expedition through a mysterious portal to an alien planet. The world they find resembles ancient Egypt and is under the rule of a tyrant who has convinced the downtrodden inhabitants that he is a god – until the humans incite the enslaved populace to fight back. Sci-fi adventure, starring Kurt Russell, James Spader and Jaye Davidson.

Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) Syfy 1:00pm-3:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Captain Picard and the Enterprise crew uncover a conspiracy by their own superiors and a sinister alien race to take over a peaceful world and exploit its power to prolong life. However, the crew is forced to defy Federation orders and turns renegade to protect the planet’s inhabitants. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, F Murray Abraham, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner and Michael Dorn.

Star Trek Clothing

Dad’s Army (1971) BBC2 London 5:00pm-6:35pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
The ragtag soldiers of the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard are given the chance to prove their mettle by apprehending three German aviators who have parachuted into the country in the vanguard of a suspected Nazi invasion. British comedy based on the TV series, starring Arthur Lowe, John Le Mesurier, Clive Dunn, Bill Pertwee, Ian Lavender and Arnold Ridley.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Comedy Central 5:00pm-7:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Merchandise

Wayne’s World (1992) GOLD 5:15pm-7:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Two heavy-metal fans broadcast an amateur TV programme from their basement. A slimy network executive offers them the chance to turn professional, but as they enjoy the perks of wealth and fame, they find their show being ruined by corporate interference. Comedy, starring Mike Myers, Dana Carvey, Rob Lowe, Tia Carrere and Lara Flynn Boyle, with a cameo by Alice Cooper.

The Fugitive (1993) Dave 6:30pm-9:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
A doctor is convicted of his wife’s murder and forced to go on the run to prove his innocence – but his efforts to find the mysterious one-armed man he believes is the real killer are hampered by a tenacious US marshal. Thriller, starring Harrison Ford, an Oscar-winning Tommy Lee Jones, Sela Ward, Julianne Moore and Joe Pantoliano.

Tim Burton’s The Nightmare Before Christmas (1993) ITV2 7:25pm-9:00pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
Jack Skellington, the Pumpkin King of Halloween Town, tires of being scary and decides to take over the friendly world of Christmas. After kidnapping Santa, he prepares to take his place and do Christmas in his own ghoulish way. Stop-motion animated fantasy, with the voices of Chris Sarandon, Catherine O’Hara and Paul Reubens, and a musical score by Danny Elfman.

Jackie Chan’s First Strike (1996) ITV4 8:30pm-10:15pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A Hong Kong cop delves into the murky world of international arms theft to track down a missing nuclear warhead – but the bad guys try to get him out of the way by framing him for murder. Martial arts adventure, starring Jackie Chan, Jackson Lou, Annie Wu, Bill Tung and Jouri Petrov. In Mandarin, Cantonese, English, Russian and Ukrainian.

The Inbetweeners Movie (2011) E4 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
Awkward teenagers Simon, Will, Jay and Neil plan a holiday to the Greek island of Crete after they finish their exams, hoping to experience drink, sex and debauchery beyond their wildest dreams. However, things do not quite work out as planned. Comedy based on the TV series, with Joe Thomas, Simon Bird, James Buckley and Blake Harrison.

Notting Hill (1999) ITV London 11:05pm-1:20am (2 hours 15 minutes)
A recently divorced bookshop owner finds love with a glamorous Hollywood film star, but ends up the focus of unwanted media interest – which makes maintaining a relationship a tricky proposition. Romantic comedy written by Richard Curtis, starring Hugh Grant, Julia Roberts, Rhys Ifans, Emma Chambers, James Dreyfus and Gina McKee.

Rambo III (1988) ITV4 10:15pm-12:20am (2 hours 5 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Fun Fact: John Rambo’s horse also appeared in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade (1989) as Indiana Jones’ horse.

SUNDAY 20th DECEMBER

.
Lara Croft: Tomb Raider (2001) Syfy 11:00am-1:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
The gun-toting treasure seeker is thrown into a furious battle with a mysterious secret society as she races against time to locate the missing pieces of a legendary artefact that grants the owner the ability to control time. Action adventure based on the video games, starring Angelina Jolie, Daniel Craig, Leslie Phillips, Iain Glen, Chris Barrie and Jon Voight.

WarGames (1983) 5* 1:45pm-4:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A teenager hacks into a top-secret military supercomputer, which challenges him to what he thinks is a game. However, the machine has complete control of the US nuclear arsenal, and the youngster’s actions are unwittingly pushing the world to the brink of war. Thriller, starring Matthew Broderick, Ally Sheedy, Dabney Coleman and John Wood.

Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory (1971) ITV3 1:50pm-3:55pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
An eccentric confectionery king announces that five children will be given a tour of his wondrous factory. The winners turn out to be a kind-hearted boy from a penniless family and four obnoxious brats, who face a terrible fate when they misbehave. Musical fantasy, based on Roald Dahl’s classic book Charlie and the Chocolate Factory, starring Gene Wilder, Jack Albertson, Peter Ostrum and Roy Kinnear.

Charlie And The Chocolate Factory Merchandise

Toy Story 3 (2010) BBC1 London 3:05pm-4:45pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Woody, Buzz and the other toys accidently end up in a daycare centre when their owner grows up. At first this seems like the perfect new home for them, but when they realise the dangers lurking under the surface, they begin to formulate an escape plan. Pixar animated adventure sequel, with the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack, Michael Keaton and Ned Beatty.

Toy Story Wallpaper

The Addams Family (1991) Channel 4 3:15pm-5:10pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Creepy couple Morticia and Gomez find their unconventional life threatened by a man claiming to be a long-lost relative. When they welcome him with open arms, they fall prey to a plot that could cost them their ancestral home and the family fortune. Black comedy based on the 1960s TV series, starring Anjelica Huston, Raul Julia, Christopher Lloyd, Christina Ricci, Jimmy Workman and Carel Struycken.

Pinocchio (1940) Channel 5 5:05pm-6:50pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A lonely old toy-maker’s dream of having a son comes true when a kindly fairy brings one of his puppets to life. The wooden boy wants to become a real human but has to prove his worth, a task easier said than done when so many temptations cross his path. Disney animated adventure, featuring the voices of Dick Jones, Christian Rub and Cliff Edwards.

Pinocchio Jewellery

Home Alone (1990) Channel 4 6:00pm-8:00pm (2 hours)
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

War of the Worlds (2005) Channel 5 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A divorced father’s rare weekend with his two estranged children descends into horror when alien war machines rise from beneath Earth and begin to systematically destroy every human being in their path – leaving the man with the dangerous task of getting his kids to safety. Steven Spielberg’s sci-fi thriller, based on HG Wells’ novel, with Tom Cruise, Dakota Fanning, Justin Chatwin, Miranda Otto and Tim Robbins.

Whatever you’re up to, always remember to leave room for dessert and don’t forget to measure twice and cut once.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 125

Knights Templar! It’s the weekend all over again!

Like a great, tall, dark and powerful knight getting ready for the next battle, we’ll strap and tie on our shiny retro movie greatness as our armor against boredom before mounting our noble steed of cinematic greatness and ride into this weekends movie adventures. Let us ride into enemy lines and return with their treasures of gold, minerals and celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 22nd NOVEMBER

.
Dungeons and Dragons (2000)
ITV2 2:30pm-4:35pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
In a fantasy kingdom ruled over by powerful wizards, a young empress plans to use their powers to bring peace and prosperity for all. However, an evil sorcerer plots to use a magic sceptre to force dragons to do his bidding so he can seize control. The only hope is to obtain an even more powerful mystical artifact, so a pair of thieves are sent on a quest to find it. Fantasy adventure, starring Jeremy Irons, Thora Birch, Marlon Wayans and Lee Arenberg.

Street Fighter (1994) 5* 3:35pm-5:35pm (2 hours)
A military officer goes in search of a power-mad general who is holding several hostages in a secret location. He soon finds he is not the only one on the maniac’s trail, and joins forced with a mismatched band of martial artists to save the captives. Action adventure based on the video game, starring Jean-Claude Van Damme, Raul Julia, Kylie Minogue and Ming-Na Wen.

Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) Film4 4:55pm-7:05pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Captain Picard and the Enterprise crew uncover a conspiracy by their own superiors and a sinister alien race to take over a peaceful world and exploit its power to prolong life. However, the crew is forced to defy Federation orders and turns renegade to protect the planet’s inhabitants. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, F Murray Abraham, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner and Michael Dorn.

Innerspace (1987) 5* 5:35pm-8:00pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A Navy test pilot is shrunk in a ground-breaking scientific experiment, but instead of being injected into a laboratory rabbit, the tiny specimen accidentally winds up inside a hypochondriac supermarket worker. As he tries to find a way out, criminals come after the unlikely duo in search of the secret of the miniaturising technology. Sci-fi comedy, starring Dennis Quaid, Martin Short, Meg Ryan, Kevin McCarthy, Fiona Lewis and Vernon Wells.

Fun Fact: All of the cells seen outside the pod were in fact made out of Jello according to Peter Kuran, the special effects supervisor.

A View to a Kill (1985) ITV4 9:00pm-11:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
James Bond clashes with a megalomaniac international businessman plotting a global takeover of the computer industry by engineering a devastating earthquake in California’s Silicon Valley – and killing millions in the process. Spy adventure, starring Roger Moore in his final appearance as 007 alongside Christopher Walken, Grace Jones, Tanya Roberts and Patrick Macnee.

The Long Kiss Goodnight (1996) Channel 5 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
An amnesiac teacher starts to experience disturbing flashbacks of her former life and hires a private eye to help her learn more about her history. His findings unearth a murky past and her involvement with a shadowy government organisation – whose agents have been dispatched to kill them both. Action thriller, with Geena Davis and Samuel L Jackson, alongside Patrick Malahide, Brian Cox and Craig Bierko.

Raging Bull (1980) ITV4 11:45pm-2:25am (2 hours 40 minutes)
Biopic of boxer Jake LaMotta, who rose to fame as the world middleweight champion in the 1940s. His career was marred by an inability to deal with his anger, leaving his family bearing the brunt of his rage and paranoia. Directed by Martin Scorsese and starring an Oscar-winning Robert De Niro alongside Joe Pesci and Cathy Moriarty.

SUNDAY 23rd NOVEMBER

.
Richie Rich (1994)
5* 4:10pm-6:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The world’s wealthiest youngster has everything he could possibly want except friends. When his parents go missing, he must try to keep their fortune out of the clutches of a scheming executive, with the help of some less well-off children. Family comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, John Larroquette, Jonathan Hyde, Edward Herrmann, Christine Ebersole and Mike McShane.

The Truman Show (1998) Sky Movies Comedy 6:10pm-8:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A man is unaware his uneventful life is really a sham, and his every move is being secretly filmed and broadcast to the world as part of a 24-hour TV soap. However, a series of unforeseen events leads him to question the nature of his existence. Peter Weir’s media satire, starring Jim Carrey, Natascha McElhone, Laura Linney, Noah Emmerich and Ed Harris.

Fun Fact: The Trumania bit, where Jim Carrey draws on the mirror with soap and acts strange, was completely improvised by Carrey. In another take he drew long curly hair and a dress.

The Golden Child (1986) Film4 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A private eye is recruited by a group of Buddhist mystics and sent on a mission to rescue an abducted boy whose supernatural powers will enable him to bring about world peace. However, the kidnapper is actually a demon in human form, determined to ensure the youngster does not fulfill his destiny. Comedy fantasy adventure, starring Eddie Murphy, Charles Dance and Charlotte Lewis.

Tron (1982) Sky Movies Disney 8:00pm-9:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A computer genius hacks into the mainframe of the company he used to work for, hoping to find evidence against the executive who stole his ideas. However, the intelligent master program running the system transports him into an electronic world, where he is forced to battle gladiators in a series of deadly games. Disney sci-fi adventure, starring Jeff Bridges, Bruce Boxleitner and David Warner.

First Blood (1982) ITV4 11:35pm-1:40am (2 hours 5 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo is wrongfully arrested in a backwoods town and tested to the limits of his endurance by a brutal deputy. Rambo escapes from his cell and heads out to the woods, and with the forces of the law in hot pursuit he finally has the chance to fight them on his own terms. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Brian Dennehy, Richard Crenna and David Caruso.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember bigger isn’t always better and you can always loose, just don’t loose the lesson.
xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 116

Cheese on toast! It’s movie day which must mean it’s the weekend!

Like a mysterious and shady detective complete with trilby, trench coat and cigarette, we’ll be lurking in the shadows always on the hunt for our next lead. We’ll sniff out as much retro movie magic as we can, taking notes as we go while we snap up some evidence on our trusty camera ready to be forever printed into celluloid wonder.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 20th SEPTEMBER

.
Murder at 1600 (1997)
Sky Movies Crime & Thriller 12:50pm-2:50pm (2 hours)
A homicide detective joins forces with a Secret Service agent to investigate the murder of a White House employee – an assignment that leads the officers to a trail of conspiracy and corruption reaching the very top of government. Political thriller, starring Wesley Snipes, Diane Lane, Alan Alda, Daniel Benzali, Dennis Miller and Ronny Cox.

Kindergarten Cop (1990) Sky Movies Comedy 1:20pm-3:20pm (2 hours)
A tough detective is forced to pose as a preschool teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson.

Twister (1996) ITV2 7:00pm-9:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A storm-chaser and her estranged husband are brought together in a joint project to monitor the path of an oncoming tornado – but the pair face a race against the clock as a rival government-backed group with hi-tech resources tries to beat them to it. Action thriller, starring Helen Hunt, Bill Paxton, Cary Elwes, Jami Gertz and Philip Seymour Hoffman.

Fun Fact: Twister was the first movie released on DVD, and the last to be released on HD-DVD.

Airplane II: The Sequel (1982) Film4 7:20pm-9:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Hapless hero Ted Striker tries to prevent the launch of a passenger space shuttle, certain it will end in disaster. Sadly, his prediction comes true when a computer malfunction sends the spacecraft hurtling toward the sun, while a man driven mad by sexual inadequacy smuggles a bomb on board. Disaster movie spoof sequel, starring Robert Hays, Julie Hagerty, Lloyd Bridges, William Shatner, Sonny Bono and Chad Everett.

Transformers (2007) Film4 9:00pm-11:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
Teenager Sam Witwicky is treated to his first car by his dad, but it turns out to be an alien scout with a life of its own. Before long, the vehicle embroils Sam in a long-running intergalactic war between two factions of giant shape-changing robots, which have come to Earth to find a mystical cube that grants infinite power to its possessor. Michael Bay’s sci-fi action adventure, inspired by the toy franchise, with Shia LaBeouf, Megan Fox, Josh Duhamel, Jon Voight and John Turturro.

Fun Fact: Bumblebee’s original alternate mode in The Transformers (1984) was a Volkswagen Beetle, but this was revised to a 1976/2009 Chevrolet Camaro because they wanted to avoid comparisons with Herbie the Love Bug

SUNDAY 21st SEPTEMBER

.
Beethoven’s 2nd (1993)
ITV London 1:20pm-3:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) Channel 4 3:30pm-5:30pm (2 hours)
Captain Picard and the Enterprise crew uncover a conspiracy by their own superiors and a sinister alien race to take over a peaceful world and exploit its power to prolong life. However, the crew is forced to defy Federation orders and turns renegade to protect the planet’s inhabitants. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, F Murray Abraham, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner and Michael Dorn.

Lara Croft: Tomb Raider – The Cradle of Life (2003) Syfy 4:30pm-7:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
The daredevil heroine returns on a new quest, this time to search the world for the legendary Pandora’s Box. However, a devious scientist is determined to get his hands on it first and realise his cunning scheme to harness the box’s power as a deadly weapon. Action adventure sequel, starring Angelina Jolie, Gerard Butler, Ciaran Hinds, Chris Barrie and Djimon Hounsou.

Fun Fact: Much of the background story of this film revolves around Alexander The Great AKA Alexander of Macedonia. Angelina Jolie actually later portrays Alexander The Greats mother, Olympias, in Alexander (2004).

Twins (1988) ITV2 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
An unlikely pair of brothers, who were born as the result of a one-off genetic experiment and separated at birth, are reunited in adulthood. They set out on a cross-country search for their unknown mother – fending off vicious loan sharks and a professional assassin along the way. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Kelly Preston and Chloe Webb.

A Time to Kill (1996) Film4 9:00pm-11:55pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
A lawyer in Mississippi agrees to defend a black man charged with killing the two racist thugs who raped his 10-year-old daughter – but he is ill-prepared for the racial tension and violence that erupts during the course of the trial. Courtroom drama, based on a novel by John Grisham and starring Matthew McConaughey, Sandra Bullock, Samuel L Jackson, Donald Sutherland and Kevin Spacey.

The Sixth Sense (1999) Channel 4 11:15pm-1:10am (1 hour 55 minutes)
A child psychologist, disheartened after the suicide of a former patient, takes on the case of a terrified boy haunted by ghostly apparitions, and tries to help him discover what the spirits want from him. M Night Shyamalan’s supernatural thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Haley Joel Osment, Toni Collette and Olivia Williams.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you always make your bed and try food before your add salt.

xoxo