The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Deck the halls and pour some drinks! With a healthy sized mince pie and a snifter of mulled wine, we find ourselves all of a sudden… in Christmas! With festive lights bringing our local streets to life and the smell of freshly baked goods with cinnamon lingering in the air, we quickly begin to wrap presents and write cards as we get festive season ready!

SATURDAY 16th December

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Volcano
(1997) Film4 2:45pm-4:50pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A river of molten lava spews from an erupting volcano onto the streets of Los Angeles, prompting the head of a crisis agency to team up with an intrepid scientist in a frantic and dangerous bid to save the city’s residents. Disaster thriller, starring Tommy Lee Jones, Anne Heche, Gaby Hoffmann, Keith David and Don Cheadle.

The Return of the Musketeers (1989) Film4 4:50pm-6:55pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
D’Artagnan reunites his former companions to save the queen of France from the scheming Cardinal Mazarin, and embark on a mission to England to prevent the beheading of Charles I. Meanwhile, the daughter of a former vanquished enemy is seeking revenge on the four heroes. Swashbuckling adventure sequel, with Oliver Reed, Michael York, Frank Finlay, Richard Chamberlain, Kim Cattrall and Roy Kinnear, who died during filming.

Liar Liar (1997) ITV2 6:10pm-7:55pm
A lawyer, whose underhand ploys to win cases leave him little time to see his son, discovers he is incapable of lying after the boy’s birthday wish makes his dad tell only the truth. However, this causes a host of problems as the attorney tries to muddle his way through a high-profile divorce settlement. Comedy, with Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Jennifer Tilly and Cary Elwes.

Men in Black (1997) Film4 9:00pm-10:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.

Rush Hour (1998) Dave 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
A Hong Kong detective is sent to Los Angeles to investigate a kidnapping, but the local authorities worry that his presence in America might spark an international incident, and assign a loud-mouthed and troublesome cop to keep an eye on him. However, the new partnership proves an explosive combination. Comedy adventure, starring Jackie Chan, Chris Tucker, Ken Leung, Tom Wilkinson and Chris Penn.

Dirty Dancing (1987) 5STAR 9:00pm-11:05pm
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Dirty Dancing Merchandise

Navy Seals (1990) ITV4 9:00pm-11:20pm
The US Navy’s elite commando force embarks on a dangerous covert mission to rescue hostages from an Arab terrorist in Beirut. However, the assignment proves far more serious than expected when they realise their enemies have acquired powerful stolen missiles. Action adventure, starring Charlie Sheen, Michael Biehn, Joanne Whalley, Bill Paxton and Rick Rossovich.

The Bone Collector (1999) Sony Movie Channel 11:00pm-1:35am
A quadriplegic ex-cop is saved from the brink of suicide by a rookie female officer needing his expertise to form a psychological profile of a serial killer. The murderer is posing as a cab driver and terrorising Manhattan, and has a gruesome habit of taking trophies from his victims’ bodies. Thriller, starring Denzel Washington, Angelina Jolie, Michael Rooker, Mike McGlone, Luis Guzman and Queen Latifah.

SUNDAY 17th December

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Jack Frost (1998) ITV2 2:00pm-4:05pm
A rock musician who realises he is spending too much time away from his family is killed in a car accident while travelling home for the festive season. The following year his spirit takes on the form of a snowman, made by his son, allowing them to spend one last Christmas together. Fantasy drama, starring Michael Keaton, Kelly Preston, Joseph Cross and Mark Addy.

Toy Story 2 (1999) BBC1 2:50pm-4:20pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
Cowboy doll Woody is stolen by an unscrupulous toy collector, who knows he is worth a fortune as a collectible, prompting fearless Space Ranger Buzz Lightyear to lead a daring across-town mission to rescue him. However, Woody is tempted to spend his life languishing in the safety of a museum rather than face the prospect of his owner growing up. Animated sequel, featuring the voices of Tom Hanks, Tim Allen, Joan Cusack and Kelsey Grammer.

Toy Story Merchandise

Jingle All the Way (1996) Channel 4 3:05pm-4:50pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A workaholic father tries to make up for his perpetual absence from home by promising to buy his son a hugely popular action figure for Christmas – little realising every other father in town has the same idea. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sinbad, Jake Lloyd, Rita Wilson, Robert Conrad and Phil Hartman.

Miracle on 34th Street (1994) Channel 4 5:50pm-8:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A woman raises her six-year-old daughter to believe that Santa Claus does not exist, but they both have a change of heart after meeting a department store Father Christmas who claims to be the man himself. When the kindly fellow is accused of being a charlatan, his new friends engage a lawyer to prove his true identity. Remake of the 1947 family drama, with Richard Attenborough, Elizabeth Perkins, Mara Wilson and Dylan McDermott.

The Shadow (1994) Sony Movie Channel 6:35pm-9:00pm
A masked hero uses his mysterious mental powers to fight evil and faces his deadliest enemy in the shape of a descendant of warlord Genghis Khan, whose formidable psychic abilities are a match for his adversary’s and who is bent on annihilating New York with a nuclear device. Superhero adventure set in the 1930s, starring Alec Baldwin, John Lone, Penelope Ann Miller, Peter Boyle, Ian McKellen and Tim Curry.

Scrooge (1970) Channel 5 6:45pm-9:00pm
Hard-hearted Victorian miser Ebenezer Scrooge refuses to join in with the spirit of the festive season – until a succession of spectral visitors turn up to teach him the error of his ways. Musical adaptation of Charles Dickens’ classic A Christmas Carol, starring Albert Finney, Alec Guinness, Kenneth More, Edith Evans and Paddy Stone.

Species II (1998) ITV4 9:00pm-10:55pm
An astronaut returns from a mission transformed into a deadly alien and determined to propagate his species. To combat the threat, scientists resurrect a female creature of the same race – but they have no way of knowing where her loyalties will lie. Sci-fi thriller sequel, starring Natasha Henstridge, Michael Madsen, Marg Helgenberger and Mykelti Williamson.

Die Hard (1988) Channel 4 10:00pm-12:35am (2 hours 35 minutes)
New York cop John McClane visits Los Angeles to see his family over the Christmas holiday. Stopping off at his wife’s place of work, he realises armed men have taken over the building and are holding the corporation’s staff to ransom – and only he has the ability to fight back. Action thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and Bonnie Bedelia.

Sleepy Hollow (1999) Channel 5 11:10pm-12:55am (1 hour 45 minutes)
A sceptical 18th-century detective is sent to a small hamlet supposedly terrorised by a demonic headless horseman who decapitates his victims. The investigator refuses to believe in the supernatural, convinced a human killer is behind the murders – but the legend proves to be all too true. Tim Burton’s gothic horror, starring Johnny Depp, Christina Ricci, Miranda Richardson and Christopher Walken.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember to take a break and grab a cuppa. You won’t regret it.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Sweet Valley High! Another retro movie weekend has landed and is here to whisk us off to far and foreign lands!

With a clip and a clonk, we’re re-living our childhoods once again as we connect power cables and controllers to our favourite dusty old game console. Firmly slotting in the well-used cartridge which is packed with data and memories, we’ll hit the power switch and begin to jump, run and slide our way around the old familiar lands we once conquered man moons before.

SATURDAY 14th October

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Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
(2001) Syfy 2:20pm-4:30pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
The gun-toting treasure seeker is thrown into a furious battle with a mysterious secret society as she races against time to locate the missing pieces of a legendary artefact that grants the owner the ability to control time. Action adventure based on the video games, starring Angelina Jolie, Daniel Craig, Leslie Phillips, Iain Glen, Chris Barrie and Jon Voight.

Titanic (1997) Film4 2:30pm-6:15pm (3 hours 45 minutes)
A party of explorers studying the sunken remains of the famous liner meets an elderly woman who was a passenger on the ill-fated maiden voyage. She recounts how she boarded the ship while on the brink of being forced into marriage by her family, and was stopped from killing herself by a penniless artist. She fell in love with her saviour, but the disaster on the horizon meant their time together was doomed to be short. James Cameron’s Oscar-winning romantic drama, starring Kate Winslet, Leonardo DiCaprio, Billy Zane, Kathy Bates and Bill Paxton.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) Spike 2:45pm-5:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Two notorious outlaws’ routine of bank and train robberies is cut short when a seemingly unstoppable posse is formed to catch them. The pair plan to flee America and start a new life in Bolivia, with the Sundance Kid’s schoolmistress lover in tow – but staying ahead of the law is not so easy. Western, starring Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Katharine Ross.

Dirty Dancing (1987) 5STAR 3:55pm-6:00pm
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Dirty Dancing Merchandise

Liar Liar (1997) ITV2 5:45pm-7:30pm
A lawyer, whose underhand ploys to win cases leave him little time to see his son, discovers he is incapable of lying after the boy’s birthday wish makes his dad tell only the truth. However, this causes a host of problems as the attorney tries to muddle his way through a high-profile divorce settlement. Comedy, with Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Jennifer Tilly and Cary Elwes.

Pale Rider (1985) ITV4 9:00pm-11:20pm
An unscrupulous landowner threatens to throw gold-miners off their land and take the riches for himself. As the law turns a blind eye to their troubles, the miners desperately need a saviour – who happens to arrive in the form of a mysterious preacher with formidable gunfighting skills. Western, directed by and starring Clint Eastwood, alongside Michael Moriarty, Carrie Snodgress and Richard Dysart.

SUNDAY 15th October

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The Dark Crystal
(1982) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

The Dark Crystal Board Game

The Mask of Zorro (1998) Sony Movie Channel 12:00pm-2:00pm (2 hours)
The sword-wielding saviour of Spanish California returns after 20 years in prison, tutoring a thief to take over his heroic role and tackle corrupt government officials, who are using slave labour to mine gold illegally. Both mentor and pupil have personal scores to settle with their enemies, led by a ruthless governor and a psychotic military officer. Swashbuckling adventure, with Anthony Hopkins, Antonio Banderas and Catherine Zeta-Jones.

Napoleon Dynamite (2004) Film4 1:00pm-2:50pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A socially inept high-school student and his lonely unemployed brother find their eccentric home life thrown into upheaval when their meddling uncle comes to stay. The teenage oddball tries to make the best of his changing circumstances, while putting all his skills to the task of helping his new best friend win the class presidency. Comedy, starring Jon Heder, Efren Ramirez and Haylie Duff.

Napoleon Dynamite TShirts

The ‘Burbs (1989) Channel 5 1:45pm-3:35pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The arrival of secretive neighbours sparks an unhealthy curiosity in a group of friends, leading them to go to bizarre lengths to discover the truth about the newcomers. However, their investigations take an even weirder twist when they begin to suspect their unseen fellow suburbanites are part of a cannibalistic cult. Joe Dante’s black comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Bruce Dern, Carrie Fisher, Corey Feldman and Henry Gibson.

Smokey and the Bandit (1977) Sony Movie Channel 2:00pm-4:10pm
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.

Fun Fact: This was such a hit that it became the second highest grossing movie released in 1977, next to Star Wars: Episode IV – A New Hope (1977).

Antz (1998) Channel 4 2:30pm-4:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A neurotic worker ant passes himself off as a soldier to impress a princess. However, he provokes a jealously ambitious general with an accidental act of heroism – so he and his beloved decide to flee the brutal colony and go in search of the promised land of Insectopia. Animated comedy, with the voices of Woody Allen, Sharon Stone, Gene Hackman and Sylvester Stallone.

National Lampoon’s Loaded Weapon 1 (1993) Channel 5 3:35pm-5:15pm
A maverick cop and his by-the-book partner investigate the murder of a fellow detective, uncovering a sinister conspiracy to get the people of America hooked on cocaine-flavoured cookies. Spoof of the Lethal Weapon movies, starring Emilio Estevez, Samuel L Jackson, Jon Lovitz, Tim Curry and William Shatner.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Film4 4:40pm-6:45pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Merchandise

Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls (1995) Channel 5 7:20pm-8:55pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

Conan the Destroyer (1984) ITV4 9:00pm-11:05pm
The mighty sword-wielding warrior returns and is hired by a duplicitous queen to retrieve a mystical artefact from an evil sorcerer. Unfortunately, he fails to see that the malevolent monarch has a sinister plan in mind, and intends to kill him once his task is complete. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Grace Jones, Wilt Chamberlain and Sarah Douglas.

Highlander (1986) Spike 11:05pm-1:25am
A 16th-century Scottish clansman discovers he is one of a race of immortal warriors who can only be killed by beheading, and who are destined to fight to the death until just one survives. Centuries later in modern-day New York, he prepares for a final showdown with his deadliest enemy. Fantasy action adventure, starring Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, Clancy Brown and Roxanne Hart.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, always do your best and you’ll never be disappointed.

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The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Great balls of fire! It’s time for another instalment of our weekly retro movie rundown and this one has got us pretty excited!

Preheating the oven to a toasty 180, we will begin our journey to soft, warm baking glory with some simple scales and ingredients. Turning some basic looking matter into something which will fill our home with a smell from our childhood and will produce one of the most simple pleasures we can create. Weighing, measuring, mixing and kneading our way to a perfect dough, we will slide our creation into the fiery food box. Awaiting for mystic food science to happen, will our bread be as soft, fluffy and scrumptious as we imagined? Only one way to find out!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 5th August

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Look Who’s Talking Too (1990) Sony Movie Channel 9:00am-10:40am
Wisecracking toddler Mikey is joined by mischievous baby sister Julie and sibling rivalry inevitably erupts – while their parents have problems of their own to deal with, in the shape of the kids’ good-for-nothing uncle. Comedy sequel, starring John Travolta and Kirstie Alley, with the voices of Bruce Willis and Rosanne Barr.

The Princess Bride (1987) 5STAR 11:50am-1:50pm
A cynical youngster becomes entranced by his grandfather’s magical tales, which revolve around a stable-boy’s heroic quest to rescue his lost love from the clutches of an evil prince, with the aid of a vengeance-seeking Spanish swashbuckler and his hulking sidekick. Rob Reiner’s comic fantasy adventure, with Cary Elwes, Robin Wright, Chris Sarandon, Mandy Patinkin, Peter Falk and Fred Savage.

Willow (1988) 5STAR 2:50pm-5:15pm
A farmer with dreams of becoming a wizard finds an abandoned baby, who is destined to bring about the downfall of an evil queen. The wicked tyrant’s minions have been sent to kill the child before she can fulfil the prophecy, and it falls to the would-be sorcerer to protect her, with the aid of a rogue warrior. Fantasy adventure, starring Warwick Davis and Val Kilmer.

Hook (1991) Sony Movie Channel 3:05pm-6:10pm
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid (1969) Spike 4:45pm-7:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Two notorious outlaws’ routine of bank and train robberies is cut short when a seemingly unstoppable posse is formed to catch them. The pair plan to flee America and start a new life in Bolivia, with the Sundance Kid’s schoolmistress lover in tow – but staying ahead of the law is not so easy. Western, starring Paul Newman, Robert Redford and Katharine Ross.

Last Action Hero (1993) Sony Movie Channel 6:20pm-9:00pm
A boy watching an action movie is transported into the film by a magic ticket and meets its hero figure, who refuses to believe he is a fictional character. Matters take a turn for the worse when the screen villain gets hold of the ticket and crosses over into the real world – where bad guys can win. Comedy adventure, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin O’Brien, Charles Dance, F Murray Abraham and Anthony Quinn.

Ghostbusters II (1989) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
The eccentric spectre-hunters reunite to save New York from a massive river of slime generated by the citizens’ negativity and nasty thoughts. Meanwhile, the spirit of a 16th-century tyrant tries to return to the land of the living by possessing the body of a toddler. Sequel to the supernatural comedy, starring Bill Murray, Sigourney Weaver, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, Rick Moranis and Ernie Hudson.

Ghostbusters Gifts

Liar Liar (1997) ITV2 7:15pm-9:00pm
A lawyer, whose underhand ploys to win cases leave him little time to see his son, discovers he is incapable of lying after the boy’s birthday wish makes his dad tell only the truth. However, this causes a host of problems as the attorney tries to muddle his way through a high-profile divorce settlement. Comedy, with Jim Carrey, Maura Tierney, Justin Cooper, Jennifer Tilly and Cary Elwes.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) ITV4 9:00pm-11:45pm
A reprogrammed killing machine is sent back in time to the 20th century to protect John Connor, a teenage boy whose destiny is to save the human race. After breaking John’s mother out of a mental institution, the pair set out to avert a future nuclear war – pursued by an advanced prototype terminator with shape-changing powers. Sci-fi action adventure sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton, Edward Furlong and Robert Patrick.

GoldenEye (1995) ITV 10:50pm-1:20am (2 hours 30 minutes)
James Bond heads for Russia to investigate the connection between the theft of an experimental helicopter and an orbital satellite weapon with the power to devastate entire cities. He discovers both have fallen into the hands of a mysterious criminal mastermind with a grudge against Britain and a connection with 007’s past. Spy adventure, with Pierce Brosnan, Sean Bean, Izabella Scorupco and Famke Janssen.

James Bond Merchandise

I Know What You Did Last Summer (1997) BBC1 11:55pm-1:30am (1 hour 35 minutes)
Four teenagers accidentally run over a stranger and hide the body rather than inform the authorities, only to find themselves stalked the following year by a shadowy figure who takes great delight in disposing of them in a variety of gruesome ways. Horror, starring Jennifer Love Hewitt, Sarah Michelle Gellar, Ryan Phillippe, Freddie Prinze Jr and Anne Heche.

SUNDAY 6th August

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Short Circuit (1986) Film4 1:00pm-3:00pm (2 hours)
A military robot is struck by lightning and develops a mind of its own. The machine embarks on a series of comic misadventures, but the company that made him want him back. He realises his only hope is to convince the scientist who invented him that he really is alive. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Steve Guttenberg, Ally Sheedy and Fisher Stevens.

The Borrowers (1997) Film4 3:00pm-4:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A family of four-inch-high people living beneath the floorboards of an ordinary human home help the owner’s son fight back when a dastardly lawyer plans to demolish the house and make way for a luxury apartment block. Children’s fantasy, starring John Goodman, Jim Broadbent, Celia Imrie, Flora Newbigin and Tom Felton.

A Bug’s Life (1998) ITV2 5:10pm-7:15pm
Well-meaning ant Flik lands his colony in trouble when he accidentally disposes of an offering meant for a swarm of greedy grasshoppers – who promptly promise a horrible revenge. Faced with the imminent destruction of the anthill, he sets out to save the situation by enlisting the help of a few would-be heroes – an out-of-work troupe of bugs from a low-rent flea circus. Pixar animation, with the voices of Dave Foley, Kevin Spacey and Julia Louis-Dreyfus.

Dirty Dancing (1987) Channel 5 5:10pm-7:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince (2009) ITV 7:30pm-10:25pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
The young wizard is given the task of uncovering the secrets of Lord Voldemort’s past as the evil sorcerer’s henchmen cause havoc in both the magical and Muggle worlds. With the help of headmaster Dumbledore, Harry ventures into the memories of those who knew the Dark Lord during his early years, hoping to gain an insight into the secret behind his apparent immortality. However, Voldemort’s influence extends much closer to home than expected, as Harry’s rival Malfoy is chosen to carry out a sinister mission. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Michael Gambon, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Tom Felton and Alan Rickman.

Harry Potter Merchandise

Cliffhanger (1993) ITV4 9:00pm-11:10pm
A retired mountain rescue expert is drawn into a battle of wits with a psychopathic criminal searching for a $100million fortune lost in the Rockies – and puts his life on the line as he negotiates the treacherous mountains in a bid to stay one step ahead of the crook. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, Janine Turner and Michael Rooker.

Point Break (1991) Channel 5 11:05pm-1:15am (2 hours 10 minutes)
An FBI agent infiltrates a Californian surfing gang suspected of carrying out a series of armed robberies wearing masks modelled on former US presidents. However, his loyalties are tested to the limits when he is befriended by the gang’s leader. Kathryn Bigelow’s thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, Gary Busey and Lori Petty.

Mars Attacks! (1996) ITV4 11:10pm-1:20am
The inhabitants of Earth leap into action to repel an impending invasion by a seemingly invincible Martian army, which possesses superior weaponry, a thirst for destruction and a wicked sense of humour. Tim Burton’s sci-fi comedy, starring Jack Nicholson, Glenn Close, Pierce Brosnan, Annette Bening, Natalie Portman, Danny DeVito and Tom Jones.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, stay smart and remember that we’re all trying to get somewhere, making your journey easier if often done by making someone else’s too.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Crunchy crisps and dip! Another retro movie weekend is upon us. Let’s go!

With a bump and a flick, we’re plugging back in after many years one of our oldest friends, our first game console. Feeling some of the excitement we first experience upon first ever playing on our shiny new system back in the day, we’ll dust off the bold and clunky hardware which still feels so familiar in our hands before loading up our game of choice. With each load screen, we find our childhood memories loading into our minds as we dive in, as if nothing had changed around us.

SATURDAY 4th MARCH

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Dragnet (1987) Dave 2:00pm-4:00pm (2 hours)
A by-the-book Los Angeles cop is paired with a laidback new partner to investigate the nefarious activities of a TV evangelist and a pornographic-magazine baron suspected of operating a criminal cult. Comedy spoof of the 1950s TV series, starring Dan Aykroyd, Tom Hanks, Christopher Plummer and the original show’s star Harry Morgan.

Casper (1995) Film4 4:55pm-6:55pm (2 hours)
A paranormal expert moves into a haunted house where his daughter befriends the amiable ghost of a young boy – but things start to go awry when three smelly spooks and two dastardly crooks try to chase the new residents away. Family comedy, starring Christina Ricci, Bill Pullman, Eric Idle, Cathy Moriarty and featuring the voice of Malachi Pearson.

Mission: Impossible (1996) E4 5:00pm-7:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Secret agents suspect there is a traitor in their organisation when their latest assignment ends in disaster. The sole survivor is accused of being the mole, forcing him to go on the run to clear his name. However, in the process, he discovers a former Russian spy is selling information about the world’s leading undercover operatives. Action thriller based on the 1960s TV series, starring Tom Cruise, Jon Voight and Ving Rhames.

Kindergarten Cop (1990) ITV2 5:45pm-8:00pm
A tough detective is forced to pose as a preschool teacher in a bid to capture a drug dealer whose son is one of the pupils. However, his biggest challenge turns out to be controlling a class full of five-year-olds. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Penelope Ann Miller, Linda Hunt, Pamela Reed and Richard Tyson.

X-Men (2000) Film4 6:55pm-9:00pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Super-powered outsiders Rogue and Wolverine find themselves at a school for mutants which is run by a benevolent psychic professor. While there, they agree to join others with similar gifts to take on a superhuman mutant terrorist faction intent on establishing dominance over mankind. Sci-fi comic-book adventure, starring Hugh Jackman, Patrick Stewart, Ian McKellen, Anna Paquin and Halle Berry.

Superhero Merchandise

First Blood (1982) ITV 10:55pm-12:40am (1 hour 45 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo is wrongfully arrested in a backwoods town and tested to the limits of his endurance by a brutal deputy. Rambo escapes from his cell and heads out to the woods, and with the forces of the law in hot pursuit he finally has the chance to fight them on his own terms. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Brian Dennehy, Richard Crenna and David Caruso.

Jackie Brown (1997) ITV4 11:00pm-2:05am
An air hostess is arrested for smuggling drugs and money into the US for a local arms dealer. Realising her life may be in danger she leaves jail with a plan to stay one step ahead by playing the criminal and the police off against each other. Quentin Tarantino’s crime drama, based on the novel Rum Punch by Elmore Leonard, starring Pam Grier, Robert Forster, Robert De Niro, Samuel L Jackson, Bridget Fonda, Michael Keaton and Michael Bowen.

SUNDAY 5th MARCH

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The Fifth Element (1997) Channel 5 11:50am-2:10pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman.

Hook (1991) Sony Channel 12:15pm-3:30pm (3 hours 15 minutes)
Peter Pan, who has finally grown up and is now a married lawyer with a family of his own, is whisked away by Tinkerbell to Neverland, where he must learn to fly again if he is to save his children from the clutches of Captain Hook. Steven Spielberg’s fantasy adventure, with Robin Williams, Dustin Hoffman, Julia Roberts, Bob Hoskins and Maggie Smith.

Spies Like Us (1985) Channel 5 2:10pm-4:10pm (2 hours)
Two incompetent US State Department officials are unwittingly used as decoys on a deadly mission to thwart Soviet activity in Pakistan. Unfortunately, their involvement in such a delicate operation brings the world to the brink of nuclear war. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Dan Aykroyd, Steve Forrest, Bruce Davison and Donna Dixon.

Last Action Hero (1993) Sony Channel 6:20pm-9:00pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
A boy watching an action movie is transported into the film by a magic ticket and meets its hero figure, who refuses to believe he is a fictional character. Matters take a turn for the worse when the screen villain gets hold of the ticket and crosses over into the real world – where bad guys can win. Comedy adventure, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Austin O’Brien, Charles Dance, F Murray Abraham and Anthony Quinn.

The Fly (1986) Sony Channel 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
A scientist invents a teleportation machine, but as he prepares to test the apparatus on himself he is unaware that a housefly is inside the system with him. The experiment causes his body to splice genetically with the insect, leading to a terrifying and grotesque transformation. David Cronenberg’s remake of the 1950s horror, starring Jeff Goldblum, Geena Davis and John Getz.

Point Break (1991) Spike 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
An FBI agent infiltrates a Californian surfing gang suspected of carrying out a series of armed robberies wearing masks modelled on former US presidents. However, his loyalties are tested to the limits when he is befriended by the gang’s leader. Kathryn Bigelow’s thriller, starring Keanu Reeves, Patrick Swayze, Gary Busey and Lori Petty.

Face/Off (1997) AMC 11:05pm-2:00am (2 hours 55 minutes)
FBI agent Sean Archer captures terrorist Castor Troy, the man who killed his son. While Troy is in a coma, Archer has the crook’s face surgically grafted onto his own so he can go undercover and locate a bomb planted somewhere in Los Angeles. But then Troy regains consciousness – and in turn takes on Archer’s identity. John Woo’s action thriller, starring Nicolas Cage, John Travolta, Joan Allen, Gina Gershon and Dominique Swain.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, stay dry, stay warm and stay awesome!

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown!

Sweet jumping jacks and pick-up-sticks! It’s another retro movie weekend! All over again!

With another landscape of retro movie awesomeness stretching before us, we find ourselves at a loss of where to start! Will it be thriller? Will it be comedy? Only the overlord of the remote control can decide with their entrusted powers. Whatever the mighty one decides, with the huge array of choice and wonder available, we will be left wide-eyes and wanting more.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 6th August

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The Dark Crystal (1982) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A survivor of a near-extinct race is given a dangerous quest as his world approaches an astronomical event that will decide its future. He must find a way to restore a broken piece to a magical crystal, which has become a source of dark power for the cruel creatures who wiped out his people. Jim Henson’s puppet fantasy, with the voices of Stephen Garlick and Billie Whitelaw.

The Land That Time Forgot (1974) ITV4 11:30am-1:20pm
American and German seamen form an uneasy alliance when they end up stranded on an island inhabited by prehistoric monsters as the First World War rages around them. Luckily, they discover an ancient fuel source, a find which increases their chances of escaping – but their hopes of reaching it in time are slim. Fantasy adventure, starring Doug McClure, John McEnery, Susan Penhaligon and Keith Barron.

Holy Man (1998) 5STAR 4:50pm-7:05pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
The cynical executive in charge of a downmarket TV shopping channel hires a mystic guru as a presenter to draw in more viewers. The ratings soar as the unlikely host’s on-air spiritual advice proves a runaway hit with the public, and also makes his shallow boss reassess his values. Satirical comedy, starring Eddie Murphy, Jeff Goldblum, Kelly Preston, Robert Loggia and Jon Cryer.

Mission: Impossible (1996) Film4 6:50pm-9:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Secret agents suspect there is a traitor in their organisation when their latest assignment ends in disaster. The sole survivor is accused of being the mole, forcing him to go on the run to clear his name. However, in the process, he discovers a former Russian spy is selling information about the world’s leading undercover operatives. Action thriller based on the 1960s TV series, starring Tom Cruise, Jon Voight and Ving Rhames.

Men in Black (1997) Channel 4 7:00pm-9:00pm (2 hours)
A streetwise cop is enlisted by a top-secret government force dedicated to policing alien visitors to Earth, teaming up with a veteran agent just as a body-swapping extraterrestrial giant insect begins a reign of terror throughout New York City. Sci-fi comedy, starring Will Smith, Tommy Lee Jones, Linda Fiorentino, Rip Torn and Vincent D’Onofrio.

Hot Fuzz (2007) ITV2 9:00pm-11:25pm
An overly zealous, by-the-book London policeman is reassigned to a sleepy country village where the crime rate is virtually zero, and teamed up with an eager but dimwitted partner. But just as the officer’s uneventful new environment begins to chafe, a grisly series of so-called accidents gives him reason to suspect a strange conspiracy is afoot. Action comedy, with Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Jim Broadbent, Timothy Dalton and Paddy Considine.

Die Hard (1988) Film4 10:45pm-1:20am (2 hours 35 minutes)
New York cop John McClane visits Los Angeles to see his family over the Christmas holiday. Stopping off at his wife’s place of work, he realises armed men have taken over the building and are holding the corporation’s staff to ransom – and only he has the ability to fight back. Action thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and Bonnie Bedelia.

Ransom (1996) ITV4 10:40pm-11:55pm
An airline tycoon is wary of involving the police when his nine-year-old son is abducted, but co-operates with their plan to make a ransom drop. However, when the trade-off goes badly wrong, he decides to take matters into his own hands by placing a $2million bounty on the kidnappers’ heads, to the consternation of the cops and his anxious wife. Thriller, starring Mel Gibson, Rene Russo, Gary Sinise, Delroy Lindo and Liev Schreiber.

SUNDAY 7th August

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Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 2:50pm-4:40pm
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

Mr Bean Merchandise

Monsters, Inc (2001) Channel 4 6:15pm-8:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Two monsters work for an energy firm that employs scary creatures to sneak into children’s bedrooms and convert their screams into power. However, when a little girl accidentally wanders into the pair’s domain, they have to race against time to return her safely home before anyone finds out. Pixar animated comedy, with the voices of John Goodman, Billy Crystal, Steve Buscemi and James Coburn.

Mission: Impossible 2 (2000) Film4 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Secret agent Ethan Hunt sent to find and destroy the only sample of a deadly man-made virus. However, he faces tough opposition in a former spy-turned-criminal mastermind who has already acquired the cure and now wants the pathogen itself. Director John Woo’s action thriller sequel, starring Tom Cruise, Dougray Scott, Thandie Newton and Anthony Hopkins.

Fun Fact: Always one for keeping things as real as possible, Tom Cruise insisted that in the knife scene, the knife would be just one quarter-inch away from his eye being connected by cable behind it. It looks like Dougray Scott  is trying hard to push it because…..he really is! Scary!

Die Hard 2 (1990) Film4 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife, but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

Raw Deal (1986) ITV4 10:15pm-12:25am
An FBI agent is discharged for insubordination after assaulting a suspect, and ends up reduced to being the sheriff of a backwater Southern town. He is later offered his old job back – on the condition he will infiltrate a gang of Chicago mobsters and bring their leader to justice for killing the son of the Bureau’s chief. Action thriller, with Arnold Schwarzenegger, Sam Wanamaker, Kathryn Harrold, Ed Lauter and Darren McGavin.

Ghost (1990) 11:20pm-1:40am (2 hours 20 minutes)
The spirit of a murdered executive tries to find a way to help his girlfriend bring his killer to justice and enlists the aid of a fraudulent medium – who is amazed and baffled when her psychic powers turn out to be all too real. Romantic fantasy, starring Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, Tony Goldwyn and an Oscar-winning Whoopi Goldberg.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, give it your all and don’t forget to empty the bath when you get out.
xoxo