The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown – 301!

Om nom nom nom! It’s time again to chew down on some of the top retro classics hitting the small screen. With a healing of action, a spoonful of drama and a whole lot of romance, grab a seat and enjoy!

SATURDAY 15th September

Smokey and the Bandit (1977) ITV4 1:10pm-3:00pm
A truck driver accepts a challenge to deliver a consignment of beer to a party. He claims he can make the 900-mile round trip in just 28 hours, but a pompous sheriff is determined to stop him in his tracks, not least because his prospective daughter-in-law has deserted his son and hitched a ride with the unlikely hero. Comedy, starring Burt Reynolds, Jackie Gleason, Sally Field and Jerry Reed.

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Beverly Hills Ninja
(1997) 5STAR 1:50pm-3:35pm
A baby survives a shipwreck and is raised by a clan of ninjas, growing up to become clumsy and overweight, and does not fit in with the other warriors despite his best efforts. When a woman seeks their help, he seizes the chance to prove himself, travelling to America and battling an international counterfeiting operation. Slapstick comedy, starring Chris Farley, Nicolette Sheridan and Chris Rock.

Harry and the Hendersons (1987) 5STAR 3:35pm-5:50pm
A hapless family’s camping holiday in the mountains is brought to a sudden end when they accidentally hit the legendary Bigfoot with their car. They decide to adopt the endearing creature, but have more trouble than expected trying to keep him concealed and to avoid arousing their neighbours’ suspicions. Comedy, starring John Lithgow, Melinda Dillon, David Suchet, Don Ameche and Kevin Peter Hall.

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Bill & Ted’s Excellent Adventure
(1989) ITV4 4:05pm–5:55pm
Two dim-witted teenagers with dreams of rock stardom seem doomed to fail a school history project, unaware the future of the human race depends on their success. A time traveller is given the job of making sure they pass the test by sending them on a series of adventures in the past. Comedy, starring Keanu Reeves, Alex Winter and George Carlin.

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Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets
(2002) ITV 5:30pm-8:25pm
The young wizard and his friends return for their second term at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry to discover a strange serpentine power is petrifying the other students. Meanwhile, Harry is haunted by a sinister voice in his head urging him to uncover the dark force that is stalking the corridors of the school. Fantasy adventure sequel, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson and Kenneth Branagh.

Harry Potter Merchandise

Harry Potter Light

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Ace Ventura: When Nature Calls
(1995) 5STAR 5:50pm-7:35pm
The eccentric pet detective is coaxed out of self-imposed exile in a Buddhist monastery to visit Africa and help search for a sacred white bat. However, his unique investigative talents are tested to the limits as he faces a race against time to find the missing creature and prevent a tribal war. Comedy sequel, starring Jim Carrey, Simon Callow and Bob Gunton.

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Rambo III
(1988) ITV4 9:00pm-11:10pm
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Die Hard (1988) E4 9:00pm-11:40pm
New York cop John McClane visits Los Angeles to see his family over the Christmas holiday. Stopping off at his wife’s place of work, he realises armed men have taken over the building and are holding the corporation’s staff to ransom – and only he has the ability to fight back. Action thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Alan Rickman and Bonnie Bedelia.

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Platoon
(1986) ITV4 11:10pm-1:35am
A raw recruit is thrown into the thick of the Vietnam War along the Cambodian border, where he finds himself caught up in a lethal feud between two sergeants. Oliver Stone’s Oscar-winning drama, the first of his Vietnam trilogy, starring Charlie Sheen, Willem Dafoe, Tom Berenger, Forest Whitaker, Kevin Dillon, Johnny Depp and John C McGinley.

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Predator
(1987) Film4 11:05pm-1:15am
An elite military team takes on a top-secret mission in the jungles of Central America, but the soldiers realise they have been deceived by their CIA employers. A greater danger presents itself when they are stalked by a lethal alien big-game hunter with the power to become invisible, that has come to Earth to stalk human prey. Sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers and Bill Duke.

SUNDAY 16th September

You’ve Got Mail (1998) ITV 12:40pm-3:00pm
Two rivals in the bookshop business fall in love over the internet, unaware they know and dislike each other in the real world. While things remain frosty in person, the pair’s anonymous online relationship continues to blossom. Romantic comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Meg Ryan, Greg Kinnear, Parker Posey and Dabney Coleman.

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The Indian in the Cupboard
(1995) Film4 1:00pm-2:50pm
A nine-year-old boy is given an old cupboard and a toy Iroquois Indian for his birthday – but when he puts the figure inside the cupboard, he is astonished to see it come to life. He repeats the experiment with more of his toys, and realises he is creating real people – and is responsible for their wellbeing. Children’s fantasy, with Hal Scardino, Litefoot and Steve Coogan.

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Vertical Limit
(2000) Sony Movie Channel 2:10pm-4:35pm
A wildlife photographer is forced to master his fears and the elements as he leads an expedition to climb K2, the world’s second highest mountain, on a desperate mission to rescue his estranged sister and her fellow mountaineers, who have fallen into a crevasse. Action adventure, starring Chris O’Donnell, Bill Paxton, Scott Glenn and Robin Tunney.

Field of Dreams (1989) Film4 4:45pm-6:50pm
A farmer hears a mysterious voice inspiring him to mark out a baseball diamond in a cornfield – which, to his surprise, is visited by the ghost of the star player of the 1919 Chicago White Sox team, whose career was cut short by scandal. It later dawns on him the pitch has a greater purpose – to give people who have sacrificed important parts of their lives a second chance. Fantasy, starring Kevin Costner, Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster and James Earl Jones.

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Back to the Future
(1985) E4 6:40pm-9:00pm
Teenager Marty McFly travels back to the 1950s in a time machine built by his eccentric inventor friend. The return journey proves tricky enough, but he also accidentally alters the sequence of events that led to his parents falling in love – and has to persuade his future dad to win his mother’s heart, or he will never be born. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson and Crispin Glover.

Back To The Future Merchandise

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Moonraker
(1979) ITV4 7:20pm-10:00pm
James Bond’s investigations into the mysterious disappearance of a space shuttle lead him to a sinister industrialist, who is plotting to wipe out most of the human race. The secret agent also faces a rematch with his old enemy, metal-toothed hitman Jaws. Spy adventure, starring Roger Moore, Michael Lonsdale, Richard Kiel and Lois Chiles.

There’s Something About Mary (1998) 5STAR 10:00pm-12:25am
A lovelorn man hires a sleazy private eye to track down his high-school sweetheart in the hope of rekindling their brief relationship. By unfortunate coincidence, the detective also falls for her, and then it emerges there are even more men out there competing for her affections. Comedy from the Farrelly brothers, starring Cameron Diaz, Ben Stiller, Matt Dillon and Lee Evans.

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Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remeber it’s always better to just get it done. Enjoy!

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 275

It’s SNOOOOOW! With what seems like the entire world now nicely dusted on soft while playful goodness, it’s the perfect time to take some time and enjoy the finer things in life. Be it a nice walk, a hut cuppa, or even just sitting back and tucking into some of your old but still favourite movies. We know we love that one! Take a peep at some of our top picks hitting the small screen this weekend. Enjoy!

SATURDAY 3rd MARCH

First Knight (1995) Sony Movie Channel 9:10am-12:00pm
A wandering swordsman is knighted for his fighting prowess at the court of King Arthur and his wife, Lady Guinevere. However, the new knight and the queen develop a dangerous and secret attraction for each other, while a neighbouring warlord threatens the downfall of the kingdom. Adventure, starring Richard Gere, Sean Connery, Julia Ormond and Ben Cross.

Stuart Little (1999) 11:20am-1:00pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An American couple decide their son needs a brother, and plan to adopt another child – but when they get to the orphanage they are greeted by a charming talking mouse named Stuart, who fits the bill perfectly. However, their jealous cat hatches a plot to get rid of the new arrival. Comedy adventure, starring Geena Davis and Hugh Laurie, with the voice of Michael J Fox.

Field of Dreams (1989) Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A farmer hears a mysterious voice inspiring him to mark out a baseball diamond in a cornfield – which, to his surprise, is visited by the ghost of the star player of the 1919 Chicago White Sox team, whose career was cut short by scandal. It later dawns on him the pitch has a greater purpose – to give people who have sacrificed important parts of their lives a second chance. Fantasy, starring Kevin Costner, Ray Liotta, Burt Lancaster and James Earl Jones.

A Knight’s Tale (2001) 5STAR 4:30pm-7:05pm
A poverty-stricken squire spies an opportunity to make his dreams come true when his employer dies. He takes his place as a knight, launching himself on the road to riches by competing in jousting tournaments, but his ruse is jeopardised by a dastardly nobleman. Comedy adventure, starring Heath Ledger, Paul Bettany, Mark Addy, Shannyn Sossamon and Rufus Sewell.

Uncle Buck (1989) ITV2 7:00pm-9:00pm
An unreliable but good-natured slob is called upon to look after his trouble-making nephew and nieces while their parents are away – and what starts as a disaster soon changes for the better as the unlikely babysitter gets to grips with the finer points of being a responsible adult. Family comedy, starring John Candy, Macaulay Culkin, Jean Kelly, Gaby Hoffman, Amy Madigan and Laurie Metcalf.

Far and Away (1992) Sony Movie Channel 6:05pm-9:00pm
Penniless Irish farmer Joseph seeks revenge on the cruel landowner who drove him from his home. However, the landlord’s daughter, desperate to escape her family, persuades him to join her in seeking their fortune in America. The pair plan to stake a claim in the Oklahoma gold rush, but instead Joseph is forced to become a bare-knuckle fighter to support them. Romantic drama set in the 1890s, starring Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman.

Batman Begins (2005) 9:00pm-11:50pm
Billionaire Bruce Wayne travels the world seeking the means to fight injustice, consumed with rage over his parents’ murder. Trained by a secret society, he hones his fighting skills and returns to his home city of Gotham on a mission to rid it of crime and corruption in the guise of a masked vigilante. Comic-book adventure, exploring the origins of the Dark Knight, with Christian Bale, Michael Caine, Liam Neeson, Cillian Murphy, Gary Oldman and Katie Holmes.

Batman Merchandise

Cocktail (1988) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:20pm
An ambitious bartender and his mentor become the talk of New York before their differences drive them apart. Relocating in Jamaica, the barman is torn between the waitress he loves and a wealthy older woman who can make his dreams of running his own establishment come true. Drama, starring Tom Cruise, Bryan Brown, Elisabeth Shue and Lisa Banes.

Predator (1987) Channel 4 11:00pm-1:00am (2 hours)
An elite military team takes on a top-secret mission in the jungles of Central America, but the soldiers realise they have been deceived by their CIA employers. A greater danger presents itself when they are stalked by a lethal alien big-game hunter with the power to become invisible, that has come to Earth to stalk human prey. Sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers and Bill Duke.

A Few Good Men (1992) Sony Movie Channel 11:20pm-2:15am
Two marines based in Cuba stand accused of murdering a comrade-in-arms. Three Navy lawyers working on their defence unearth evidence that the soldiers may have been acting under orders, which points to a trail of corruption leading all the way to a top-ranking officer. Drama based on Aaron Sorkin’s stage play, starring Tom Cruise, Demi Moore, Kevin Pollack, Jack Nicholson, Kiefer Sutherland and Kevin Bacon.

SUNDAY 4th MARCH

Wyatt Earp (1994) Channel 5 12:50pm-4:25pm (3 hours 35 minutes)
The life of the legendary lawman, from his early youth to his days as the feared and respected deputy town marshal of Tombstone who is best known for his part in the gunfight at the OK Corral, a tragic confrontation with a notorious outlaw gang. Western, starring Kevin Costner, Dennis Quaid, Gene Hackman, Michael Madsen, Isabella Rossellini, Bill Pullman and Catherine O’Hara.

The Flintstones (1994) ITV2 3:05pm-4:50pm
Blue-collar caveman Fred Flintstone is promoted to an executive position at work and unwittingly becomes embroiled in an embezzlement scheme – thanks in no small part to his seductive new assistant. Live-action version of the cartoon comedy, starring John Goodman, Rick Moranis, Rosie O’Donnell, Halle Berry and Elizabeth Taylor.

The Dirty Dozen (1967) Channel 5 4:25pm-7:20pm
An uncompromising major is placed in charge of a seemingly suicidal mission to destroy a French chateau being used as a base by Nazi officers. Needing tough but expendable soldiers for the task, he recruits 12 hardened criminals from a military prison. Second World War action adventure, starring Lee Marvin, Telly Savalas, Ernest Borgnine, Charles Bronson and Donald Sutherland.

Crocodile Dundee (1986) Film4 4:50pm-6:45pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A New York reporter searches the Australian Outback for a maverick hunter with a legendary reputation, and invites the adventurer back to America. But the die-hard Aussie needs to draw on all his survival skills to adjust to life in the urban jungle. Comedy adventure, written by and starring Paul Hogan, with Linda Kozlowski, John Meillon and Mark Blum.

Good Morning, Vietnam (1987) Sony Movie Channel 9:00pm-11:40pm
A fast-talking US Army disc jockey is sent to entertain the GIs in 1960s Saigon, but he enrages the military top brass by blasting the airwaves with his irreverent and controversial view of the conflict in South-East Asia. Comedy drama, starring Robin Williams, Forest Whitaker and Bruno Kirby.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, wear one more pair of socks than you’re thinking and remember that a flask of tea can make of break even just a walk to the shops. Enjoy!

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 222

Grilled cheese sandwich! Another retro movie filled weekend is here and boy is it a treat!

With chips stacked high and the smell of anticipation in the air, we find ourselves at the mercy of lady luck as we roll the dice so see if our big moment it here. We’ll watch with eager eyes as the sacred little white ball that holds all our hopes and dreams at that moment starts to spin and flicks it’s way around the roulette wheel.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 19th NOVEMBER

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Scrooged
(1988) E4 2:30pm-4:30pm (2 hours)
A heartless TV executive is cruel to his employees and just sees the festive season as an opportunity to make money. However, on Christmas Eve, three ghosts arrive in the night and challenge him to change his cynical ways by showing him his past, present and future. Comedy based on Charles Dickens’ A Christmas Carol, starring Bill Murray, Karen Allen, John Forsythe, David Johansen and Carol Kane.

Short Circuit 2 (1988) Film4 2:50pm-5:05pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Manic mechanoid Johnny Five meets an old friend in New York City and embarks on a fact-finding tour – but ends up entangled in a series of escapades culminating in a bank robbery. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean, Cynthia Gibb and Jack Weston, with the voice of Tim Blaney.

Fun Fact: While it is usually accepted the city in the movie is New York, Oscar gives Number 5 a tourism guide with St. Louis on the cover and it was actually filmed in Canada.

Harry and the Hendersons (1987) 5STAR 2:55pm-5:05pm
A hapless family’s camping holiday in the mountains is brought to a sudden end when they accidentally hit the legendary Bigfoot with their car. They decide to adopt the endearing creature, but have more trouble than expected trying to keep him concealed and to avoid arousing their neighbours’ suspicions. Comedy, starring John Lithgow, Melinda Dillon, David Suchet, Don Ameche and Kevin Peter Hall.

Every Which Way But Loose (1978) ITV4 3:00pm-5:15pm
A truck driver travels across America with his faithful orang-utan competing in bare-knuckle fights for extra cash. He becomes smitten with a country singer who subsequently vanishes without a trace, so man and ape set off in search of her – with an enraged gang of bikers in pursuit. Action comedy, starring Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Geoffrey Lewis and Beverly D’Angelo.

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) 3:10pm-5:00pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

Big (1988) Film4 5:05pm-7:10pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Boyz N the Hood (1991) BBC2 10:45pm-12:30am (1 hour 45 minutes)
A bright but underachieving teenager with a domineering single father strikes up a friendship with two brothers, and over time, the three young men each follow their own path – but a tragedy eventually leaves them facing a dangerous choice. Drama, starring Cuba Gooding Jr, Laurence Fishburne, Morris Chestnut and Ice Cube.

First Blood (1982) ITV4 11:35pm-1:40am
Vietnam veteran John Rambo is wrongfully arrested in a backwoods town and tested to the limits of his endurance by a brutal deputy. Rambo escapes from his cell and heads out to the woods, and with the forces of the law in hot pursuit he finally has the chance to fight them on his own terms. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, Brian Dennehy, Richard Crenna and David Caruso.

SUNDAY 20th NOVEMBER

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Inspector Gadget
(1999) Channel 4 7:55am-9:30am (1 hour 35 minutes)
A clumsy security guard is critically injured during a run-in with a thief, so his cybernetics-expert employer transforms him into the ultimate crime-fighting machine – a bionic officer with an array of gadgets and weaponry cunningly concealed inside his body. Disney comedy adventure based on the 1980s cartoon series, starring Matthew Broderick, Rupert Everett and Joely Fisher.

The Aristocats (1970) Channel 4 5:05pm-6:35pm (1 hour 30 minutes)
A jealous butler is outraged when his employer leaves a vast fortune to her cat and kittens instead of to him, so he drives the pets to the French countryside and dumps them. However, a streetwise alley cat steps in to help the pampered felines find their way home and claim their rightful inheritance. Animated Disney adventure, with the voices of Eva Gabor, Phil Harris and Scatman Crothers.

The Mummy (1999) ITV2 6:40pm-9:00pm
A soldier of fortune joins an academic and her conniving brother on an expedition to an ancient Egyptian lost city. The explorers accidentally cause the spirit of a vengeful priest with awe-inspiring supernatural powers to rise from his tomb, leading to a desperate battle for survival. Fantasy action adventure, starring Brendan Fraser, Rachel Weisz, John Hannah, Arnold Vosloo and Oded Fehr.

Predator (1987) Movie Mix 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
An elite military team takes on a top-secret mission in the jungles of Central America, but the soldiers realise they have been deceived by their CIA employers. A greater danger presents itself when they are stalked by a lethal alien big-game hunter with the power to become invisible, that has come to Earth to stalk human prey. Sci-fi thriller, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Carl Weathers and Bill Duke.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, keep, dry, keep moving forward and keep bees. Bees optional.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 210

Sweet potato pie! Another retro movie weekend is before us and….well…what a treat it is!

So like a battle torn and sea life hardened Pirate, we find ourselves standing before a overflowing chest of treasure. Stacked high with gems, gold and silver, we’ll dream of all the amazing things that our plunder will bring us before safely stashing it in our super-secret hiding place. Will we ever return to get it back and will it still be there if we do? Time will tell.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 27th August

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Superman
(1978) ITV4 4:00pm-7:00pm
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman TShirts

Turner & Hooch (1989) E4 4:30pm-6:30pm (2 hours)
A Californian detective investigating the murder of a local man by drug smugglers has only one witness to help him solve the case – the large, smelly dog that belonged to the victim, which is about to turn the detective’s well-ordered existence into chaos. Family comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Mare Winningham and Craig T Nelson.

Coming to America (1988) Dave 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A bored African prince defies his father’s plans for an arranged marriage and escapes to the USA to find a bride on his own terms. Comedy, starring Eddie Murphy and Arsenio Hall in several roles, with James Earl Jones, Allison Dean, Eriq La Salle and Madge Sinclair.

Rambo III (1988) Syfy 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Vietnam veteran John Rambo turns down a request from his old colonel to join a mission in Soviet-occupied Afghanistan. However, when the officer is captured, Rambo sets off to save him, joining the Mujahedeen rebels in fighting against the Russian invaders. Action adventure sequel, starring Sylvester Stallone, Richard Crenna, Kurtwood Smith, Marc de Jonge and Sasson Gabai.

Predator 2 (1990) Film4 11:20pm-1:30am (2 hours 10 minutes)
A Los Angeles cop, working to bring down the city’s drug gangs, suspects Jamaican criminals when he discovers several of his targets killed and skinned alive. However, the culprit behind the murders reveals himself to be an alien big-game hunter – with the stealth and guile to outwit the police and criminals alike. Sci-fi sequel, starring Danny Glover, Bill Paxton, Gary Busey and Maria Conchita Alonso.

Fun Fact: The film was re-cut over 20 times, according to director Stephen Hopkins, because of more graphic shots of mutilated bodies and decapitations by the Predator.

SUNDAY 28th August

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Honey, I Shrunk the Kids
(1989) Film4 11:00am-1:00pm (2 hours)
A professor invents a ray with the power to reduce objects in size. Unfortunately, his kids and their meddling friends activate it and are shrunk to microscopic proportions. When they are accidentally thrown out with the rubbish, the children have to contend with all kinds of animals and insects on their journey home across the backyard. Disney comedy, with Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman and Amy O’Neill.

Bean (1997) ITV2 4:55pm-6:45pm
The hapless fool is employed as a security guard for a British art gallery and is sent to Los Angeles to bring back a famous painting. Unfortunately, he finds himself mistaken for a renowned art professor and invited to make an important presentation. Mel Smith’s British comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Burt Reynolds, Peter MacNicol, John Mills, Peter Capaldi and June Brow.

Mr Bean TShirt

Despicable Me (2010) ITV 4:55pm-6:35pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A criminal mastermind hopes to seal his reputation as the greatest villain of them all by stealing the moon. First he needs to get his hands on a shrinking ray owned by a rival evil genius, and adopts three orphan girls to help him – but finds that fatherhood brings out his long-buried caring side. Animated comedy, with the voices of Steve Carell, Jason Segel, Russell Brand and Julie Andrews.

Minions Merchandise

Star Trek: First Contact (1996) Syfy 4:50pm-7:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Captain Jean-Luc Picard and the crew of the Enterprise face their deadliest enemies, the Borg, who travel back in time in an attempt to change Earth’s history. The starship follows on a mission to foil their plan, but the vessel is taken over by members of the cyborg collective, leaving Picard consumed by a desire for revenge. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner, James Cromwell and Alice Krige.

Star Trek Clothing

MONDAY 29th August

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Beethoven (1992) ITV 10:30am-12:10pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
An all-American family adopts a huge St Bernard, but the father is dismayed when it turns into a one-dog disaster zone. He insists the mutt must go to a new home, but when it is kidnapped by a crooked vet, dad has a change of heart and races to the rescue. Comedy, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Oliver Platt and David Duchovny.

Honey, I Blew Up the Kid (1992) Channel 4 12:55pm-2:40pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A scientist perfects a device for making objects grow when they come into contact with electricity. Unfortunately, his two-year-old son is accidentally turned into a giant and goes on the rampage through the streets of Las Vegas. Disney comedy sequel, starring Rick Moranis, Marcia Strassman, Robert Oliveri and Lloyd Bridges.

Joe Kidd (1972) 3:15pm-5:00pm Channel 5 (1 hour 45 minutes)
A bounty hunter is asked to capture a Mexican rebel, and accepts the job after the outlaw’s men attack his own ranch. But when he witnesses the cruel methods used by his employer, he resolves to bring the fugitive to a fair trial rather than let him face rough justice. Western, starring Clint Eastwood, Robert Duvall and John Saxon. Edited for language and violence.

Police Academy 2: Their First Assignment (1985) ITV4 5:10pm-7:00pm
America’s most inept cops graduate and are let loose on the streets – under the command of an unscrupulous lieutenant whose promotion depends on their failure. Fortunately for him, their unique brand of policing actually leads to an increase in the crime rate. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, David Graf and Michael Winslow.

The Dirty Dozen (1967) Dave 5:00pm-8:00pm (3 hours)
An uncompromising major is placed in charge of a seemingly suicidal mission to destroy a French chateau being used as a base by Nazi officers. Needing tough but expendable soldiers for the task, he recruits 12 hardened criminals from a military prison. Second World War action adventure, starring Lee Marvin, Telly Savalas, Ernest Borgnine, Charles Bronson and Donald Sutherland.

Thor: The Dark World (2013) BBC1 8:30pm-10:15pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The alien thunder god returns to Earth when a powerful weapon from the dawn of time is discovered. The device attracts the attention of an old enemy of his people, who intends to use it to plunge the universe into darkness – and to stop him, Thor must form an uneasy alliance with his treacherous brother Loki. Superhero adventure sequel, starring Chris Hemsworth, Tom Hiddleston and Natalie Portman.

Thor Merchandise

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, maybe wait ten mins before eating more and don’t forget to take a plastic bag with you to the shops.

xoxo

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The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 202

Slap my thigh and tickle my chin!
It’s only another fun-packed retro movie weekend! A perfect time to sit back and enjoy some of the greatest moments in movie history which also bring some of the most memorable performances, scenes, and storylines. Grab the snacks, plump up the pillows and enjoy some of our top picks for this weekend!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 25th June

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Black Beauty
(1994) ITV3 8:25am-9:25am
A stallion recalls the events of his life and a succession of good and bad owners. His carefree youth on a country estate is brought to an end by a stable fire, and he ends up enduring a hard life pulling a hackney cab in Victorian London. Family drama based on Anna Sewell’s novel, starring Sean Bean, David Thewlis, Jim Carter and Eleanor Bron, with Alan Cumming providing the voice of the horse.

Star Trek: Insurrection (1998) Channel 5 11:40am-1:40pm (2 hours)
Captain Picard and the Enterprise crew uncover a conspiracy by their own superiors and a sinister alien race to take over a peaceful world and exploit its power to prolong life. However, the crew is forced to defy Federation orders and turns renegade to protect the planet’s inhabitants. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Patrick Stewart, F Murray Abraham, Jonathan Frakes, Brent Spiner and Michael Dorn.

Star Trek TShirts

Fantastic Mr Fox (2009) Film4 1:00pm-2:40pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A rebellious fox decides it is time to grow up and change his chicken-stealing ways for the sake of his wife and children. However, the presence of three wicked farmers near his woodland home proves a challenge he cannot resist. Stop-motion animated adventure based on the novel by Roald Dahl, with the voices of George Clooney, Meryl Streep, Jason Schwartzman and Bill Murray.

Fantastic Mr Fox Clothing

Police Academy 3: Back in Training (1986) ITV4 2:45pm-4:30pm
Facing closure from cutbacks in public spending and competition from a more successful academy, the police training school calls on its bungling graduates to act as instructors and make good officers out of a bunch of new recruits even more incompetent than they are. Comedy sequel, starring Steve Guttenberg, Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow and Art Metrano.

Superman (1978) ITV4 4:30pm-7:30pm
A fledgling superhero crash-lands on Earth after evacuation from his home planet and is taken in by an elderly couple who raise him as their own. But with adolescence comes a greater understanding of his superhuman powers, leading to his rebirth as a crusader for justice and defender of the American way of life. Comic-strip adventure, with Christopher Reeve, Gene Hackman, Margot Kidder and Marlon Brando.

Superman TShirts

Flubber (1997) 5STAR 5:05pm-7:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A scatty professor is in financial trouble, and his only hope of avoiding disaster is to market his latest invention – a strange rubbery substance with a life of its own. However, a criminal gang is determined to get hold of his creation. Remake of 1961 Disney comedy The Absent-Minded Professor, with Robin Williams, Marcia Gay Harden, Christopher McDonald and Wil Wheaton.

Dirty Dancing (1987) 5STAR 7:00pm-9:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A dance instructor at a 1960s resort hotel fears his career will be jeopardised when his regular partner is forced to pull out of an important show in which they are due to perform. Luckily, a naive teenager is happy to step in, and is treated to a whirlwind holiday education in life, love and expressing herself. Romantic drama, starring Patrick Swayze, Jennifer Grey and Jerry Orbach.

Predator 2 (1990) Film4 10:45pm-12:55am (2 hours 10 minutes)
A Los Angeles cop, working to bring down the city’s drug gangs, suspects Jamaican criminals when he discovers several of his targets killed and skinned alive. However, the culprit behind the murders reveals himself to be an alien big-game hunter – with the stealth and guile to outwit the police and criminals alike. Sci-fi sequel, starring Danny Glover, Bill Paxton, Gary Busey and Maria Conchita Alonso.

LA Confidential (1997) BBC1 11:20pm-1:30am (2 hours 10 minutes)
Three cops – an ambitious rookie, a hard-boiled veteran and a smooth character more interested in celebrity than justice – investigate a corpse-strewn bloodbath in a diner. However, the ensuing search for the perpetrators reveals a trail of crime and corruption in the police force. Thriller set in 1950s Hollywood, with Russell Crowe, Guy Pearce, Kevin Spacey, James Cromwell, Danny DeVito and an Oscar-winning Kim Basinger.

SUNDAY 26th June

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The Horse Whisperer
(1998) Channel 5 1:45pm-5:00pm (3 hours 15 minutes)
A young girl is left disabled and her horse profoundly traumatised after a horrific road accident. Her distraught mother decides to take them to the remote Montana ranch of an equine healer. As time passes, his therapy and the peace and quiet of the countryside work their magic on their broken spirits. Drama based on Nicholas Evans’ novel, directed by and starring Robert Redford. With Kristin Scott Thomas, Sam Neill, Dianne Wiest and Scarlett Johansson.

Beethoven’s 2nd (1993) 3:20pm-5:05pm
The slobbering St Bernard is now grown up and in love with his beautiful sweetheart Missy. Together they bring a litter of puppies into the world – but have to go on the defensive when Missy’s owner, the evil Regina, sets out to steal them for herself. Comedy sequel, starring Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Chris Penn, Nicholle Tom and Christopher Castle.

One Hundred and One Dalmatians (1961) Channel 4 3:50pm-5:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
A fashion-mad woman longs to make a coat out of dalmatian skin, and resorts to kidnapping her friend’s litter of puppies, along with several other dogs. However, the captive pups’ devoted parents come to the rescue, aided by an assortment of other animals. Disney animated adventure based on Dodie Smith’s novel, with the voices of Betty Lou Gerson and Rod Taylor.

Disney Clothing

Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) Film4 6:10pm-9:00pm (2 hours 50 minutes)
The war between the shape-shifting robots erupts once again, as the first of the evil Decepticons leads an attack on Earth to locate an ancient planet-destroying machine. Hapless teenager Sam Witwicky is caught in the middle of the ensuing conflict as he holds the key to discovering the location of the device. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox.

Transformers TShirts

Awakenings (1990) Sony Channel 6:40pm-9:00pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A research doctor in a New York psychiatric hospital provokes equal measures of professional interest and suspicion when he appears to have discovered a means of reviving patients who have been trapped in a catatonic state for over 30 years. Fact-based drama, starring Robin Williams, Robert De Niro, Julie Kavner, Penelope Ann Miller, Max von Sydow and Alice Drummond.

Die Hard 2 (1990) Film4 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
Tough cop John McClane arrives at an airport to pick up his wife, but finds himself plunged into a bloody life-or-death struggle. He must battle terrorists who have seized control of the terminal as part of a campaign to secure the release of a convicted drug baron. Action thriller sequel, starring Bruce Willis, Bonnie Bedelia, William Sadler, Franco Nero and William Atherton.

Kill Bill: Vol 1 (2003) Sky Atlantic 10:10pm-12:20am (2 hours 10 minutes)
A female assassin wakes from a four-year coma and promptly sets out on a campaign to wipe out her erstwhile colleagues, who tried to kill her at her own wedding – one of whom is now the kingpin of the Tokyo underworld. The first part of Quentin Tarantino’s two-part martial arts thriller, starring Uma Thurman, Lucy Liu, Vivica A Fox, Daryl Hannah and David Carradine.

The Sixth Sense (1999) Channel 4 11:20pm-1:15am (1 hour 55 minutes)
A child psychologist, disheartened after the suicide of a former patient, takes on the case of a terrified boy haunted by ghostly apparitions, and tries to help him discover what the spirits want from him. M Night Shyamalan’s supernatural thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Haley Joel Osment, Toni Collette and Olivia Williams.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember to put all of the pieces back in the box after and that a bit of cheese on top can make ANYTHING better.
xoxo