The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 286

We’re back! Time to tuck into some movie epicness and take a trip down memory lane with some of these total classic! Kettle on, feet up and enjoy!

SATURDAY 19th May

First Knight (1995) Sony Movie Channel 9:10am-12:00pm
A wandering swordsman is knighted for his fighting prowess at the court of King Arthur and his wife, Lady Guinevere. However, the new knight and the queen develop a dangerous and secret attraction for each other, while a neighbouring warlord threatens the downfall of the kingdom. Adventure, starring Richard Gere, Sean Connery, Julia Ormond and Ben Cross.
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My Best Friend’s Wedding (1997) Sony Movie Channel 5:45pm-8:00pm
A food critic realises she is in love with her best friend just as he announces he is going to marry another woman. Determined to have him to herself, she heads for the wedding with the intention of sabotaging the ceremony – but persuading the groom to give up on his bride-to-be proves harder than expected. Romantic comedy, starring Julia Roberts, Dermot Mulroney, Cameron Diaz and Rupert Everett.
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The Fifth Element (1997) 5STAR 8:30pm-10:00pm
In the 23rd century, the world faces destruction from a seemingly unstoppable force of pure evil. Meanwhile, a New York cab driver encounters a mysterious woman destined to save the Earth from its fate, and has to protect her from a scheming arms dealer and a horde of alien mercenaries. Luc Besson’s sci-fi adventure, starring Bruce Willis, Milla Jovovich and Gary Oldman.
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The Blues Brothers
(1980) ITV4 9:00pm-11:40pm
Two criminal brothers discover the orphanage where they were raised faces closure unless the nuns who run it can pay their tax bill, so the pair embark on an urgent mission to revive their old blues band to raise the money needed. Comedy, starring John Belushi, Dan Aykroyd, Aretha Franklin, James Brown, Ray Charles, Cab Calloway, Carrie Fisher, John Candy and John Lee Hooker.
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Jaws 3
(1983) ITV 10:20pm-12:15am (1 hour 55 minutes)
A shark is captured by divers and put on display in a Florida marine centre, where it ultimately dies. However, examination of the body reveals the seemingly fully-grown shark was actually a baby – and its enormous, ferocious mother soon comes looking for it. Thriller sequel, originally released in cinemas in 3D, starring Dennis Quaid, Simon MacCorkindale, Louis Gossett Jr and Bess Armstrong.
Jaws TShirts
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Jaws TShirt

SUNDAY 20th May

The Rugrats Movie (1999) Film4 1:00pm-2:35pm (1 hour 35 minutes)
Tommy tries to return his new brother to the baby shop, helped by Angelica, Chuckie, Phil and Lil – but the friends become lost in dense woodlands en route, turning their expedition into a scary and exciting journey of discovery. Animated comedy based on the TV series, with the voices of Elizabeth Daily, Christine Cavanaugh, Kath Soucie, Whoopi Goldberg and Busta Rhymes.

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Sleepless in Seattle
(1993) Sony Movie Channel 1:35pm-3:50pm
A widowed father is coping badly with his wife’s death, but his son is convinced that what he really needs is some new romance in his life. He arranges for his dad to go on a radio phone-in show, and his touching story moves a reporter to respond, even though she is already engaged. She returns to her fiance, but the boy, certain she is the woman for his father, plots to bring them together. Romantic comedy, with Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan.

Batteries Not Included (1987) Channel 5 2:55pm-5:05pm
A family of tiny alien spacecraft intervenes to help the residents of a run-down Manhattan brownstone tenement stop greedy developers from demolishing their homes. However, the miniature flying saucers have the odds stacked against them as they bravely do all they can to save the day. Sci-fi fantasy, starring Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Frank McRae and Elizabeth Pena.

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As Good as It Gets
(1997) Sony Movie Channel 10:05pm-12:55am
A bigoted misanthropic writer, who treats everyone he meets with contempt, is forced to look after a gay neighbour’s dog, and develops an empathy with another creature for the first time in years. Sensing a need for human company, he pursues an unlikely romance with a waitress, who is the only person willing to put up with his rudeness. Romantic comedy drama, with Jack Nicholson, Helen Hunt, Cuba Gooding Jr and Greg Kinnear.

Tango & Cash (1989) ITV4 11:15pm-1:25am
Two rival LA detectives are constant thorns in the side of a ruthless drug baron, so he has them framed for murder and sent to prison. Surrounded by vengeful crooks they put behind bars, the combative duo are forced to bury their differences to escape and prove their innocence. Action adventure, with Sylvester Stallone, Kurt Russell, Teri Hatcher and Jack Palance.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, never underestimate the awesomewomse feeling of a fresh pair of sunglasses.

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 145

Pie and gravy! It’s the weekend!

Sitting down in a nice quiet corner of our local public house, we’ll set up base camp before gazing over the full collection of delicious meals that await us. After ummm-ing and ahhh-ing between some of our favourte dishes, we’ll take the plunge and order at the bar, bringing back a selection of the finest local ales. Gazing over the hustle and bustle of our surroundings, we’ll wind away the day as content as can be before heading home to watch some of the weekends top retro films. Bliss!

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 2nd MAY

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Homeward Bound: The Incredible Journey
(1993) ITV2 2:45pm-4:30pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
Two dogs and a cat are left in the temporary care of a friend when their owners are forced to move away. Thinking they have been abandoned, the trio hit the road in a bid to find their way home. Adventure, featuring the voices of Michael J Fox, Sally Field and Don Ameche. Kim Greist, Robert Hays and Benj Thall take the human roles.

The Great Outdoors (1988) ITV London 3:50pm-5:30pm (1 hour 40 minutes)
Easy-going family man Chet Ripley takes his wife and two sons to a lakeside cabin in the wilderness to enjoy a peaceful holiday. However, his plans to relax are ruined by the unwelcome and unannounced arrival of his obnoxious brother-in-law – as well as unexpected intrusions by the local wildlife. Comedy, starring John Candy, Dan Aykroyd and Annette Bening.

Airplane! (1980) Film4 7:15pm-9:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The passengers on board an ill-fated airliner become increasingly jittery when the flight crew flounder during a food-poisoning crisis. As ground control personnel struggle heroically to ensure the plane lands safely, a traumatised war veteran must face his fear to take the controls. Spoof disaster movie, starring Robert Hays, Leslie Nielsen, Robert Stack and Lloyd Bridges.

Fun Fact: For the argument between announcers concerning the white and red zones at the airport, the producers hired the same voice artists who had made the real-world announcements at Los Angeles International Airport. At the real airport, the white zone is for loading and unloading of passengers only, and there’s no stopping in the red zone (except for transit buses). They were also married to each other in real life.

Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 7:30pm-9:20pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.

From Russia with Love (1963) ITV4 8:00pm-10:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
James Bond is assigned to steal a top-secret Soviet decoding machine and ends up helping its operator defect to the West. However, he discovers the mission is really a trap set by international crime syndicate Spectre, and struggles to evade his would-be assassins. Spy thriller, starring Sean Connery, Robert Shaw, Daniela Bianchi and Lotte Lenya.

The Jackal (1997) 5USA 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
An assassin whose identity is shrouded in mystery is hired by a Russian crime syndicate to kill the director of the FBI. As the American and Russian authorities join forces to stop him, they are forced to turn to the only man able to identify the hitman – an imprisoned IRA terrorist, who offers his help in return for his freedom. Thriller, starring Bruce Willis, Richard Gere and Sidney Poitier.

RoboCop (1987) Syfy 9:00pm-11:00pm (2 hours)
A police officer in a future Detroit ravaged by crime is seemingly killed in the line of duty, but is rebuilt as a law-enforcing cyborg by the corporation that has taken over running the force. He begins to remember his human life and seeks to bring his killers to justice – a mission that leads him to turn on his corrupt corporate masters. Sci-fi thriller, starring Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Ronny Cox and Miguel Ferrer.

Cliffhanger (1993) ITV London 10:20pm-12:20am (2 hours)
A retired mountain rescue expert is drawn into a battle of wits with a psychopathic criminal searching for a $100million fortune lost in the Rockies – and puts his life on the line as he negotiates the treacherous mountains in a bid to stay one step ahead of the crook. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, Janine Turner and Michael Rooker.

SUNDAY 3rd MAY

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Short Circuit 2
(1988) Watch 10:00am-12:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
Manic mechanoid Johnny Five meets an old friend in New York City and embarks on a fact-finding tour – but ends up entangled in a series of escapades culminating in a bank robbery. Sci-fi comedy sequel, starring Fisher Stevens, Michael McKean, Cynthia Gibb and Jack Weston, with the voice of Tim Blaney.

Bicentennial Man (1999) Watch 12:10pm-2:45pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
A family purchases a robot servant to perform menial tasks but quickly realises this is no ordinary droid when he begins to develop human emotions and the capacity to think for himself, a quality encouraged by his owner’s children. He asks for his freedom, and spends the next 200 years struggling to come to terms with its humanity. Chris Columbus’s sci-fi drama inspired by the books of Isaac Asimov, starring Robin Williams, Sam Neill, Embeth Davidtz and Oliver Platt.

Blue Streak (1999) Channel 5 1:20pm-3:05pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
A convicted jewel thief is released from prison, and sets about recovering his hidden loot – only to discover a police station has since been built where he left it. Undeterred, he poses as a maverick cop and worms his way into the detective division – little realising his problems have only just begun. Comedy, starring Martin Lawrence, Luke Wilson and Peter Greene.

Dragnet (1987) ITV London 2:45pm-4:50pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A by-the-book Los Angeles cop is paired with a laidback new partner to investigate the nefarious activities of a TV evangelist and a pornographic-magazine baron suspected of operating a criminal cult. Comedy spoof of the 1950s TV series, starring Dan Aykroyd, Tom Hanks, Christopher Plummer and the original show’s star Harry Morgan.

Legally Blonde (2001) Channel 5 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
A seemingly dizzy teenager is heartbroken when her boyfriend dumps her because he thinks she is not intelligent enough to help his political career. To prove him wrong she enrols at Harvard, but finds herself out of her depth as other students do their best to humiliate her. Comedy, starring Reese Witherspoon, Luke Wilson, Selma Blair, Matthew Davis and Victor Garber.

Crimson Tide (1995) Watch 9:00pm-11:15pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A veteran US submarine captain receives an incomplete message after a Russian base falls into rebel hands, and is convinced it is an order to fire his nuclear weapons. However, his first officer refuses to take such potentially devastating action without confirmed orders, leading to a deadly battle of wills. Thriller, starring Gene Hackman, Denzel Washington and Viggo Mortensen.

National Lampoon’s Vacation (1983) ITV4 9:45pm-11:50pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A bumbling all-American family man takes his wife and kids on a disaster-filled cross-country drive to California to visit famous theme park Walley World – but their chances of arriving at their destination in one piece are looking slim. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, Imogene Coca, Anthony Michael Hall, Christie Brinkley and John Candy.

Face/Off (1997) Watch 11:15pm-2:00am (2 hours 45 minutes)
FBI agent Sean Archer captures terrorist Castor Troy, the man who killed his son. While Troy is in a coma, Archer has the crook’s face surgically grafted onto his own so he can go undercover and locate a bomb planted somewhere in Los Angeles. But then Troy regains consciousness – and in turn takes on Archer’s identity. John Woo’s action thriller, starring Nicolas Cage, John Travolta, Joan Allen, Gina Gershon and Dominique Swain.

Fun Fact: Originally Arnold Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone were in mind to play the lead roles, but when John Woo was brought in to direct, he decided that John Travolta and Nicolas Cage would be more suited to the roles.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you pay and glasses left on a chair…might get sat on. Just saying.

xoxo

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 128

Toasted marshmallows! It’s only the bloomin weekend!

Setting up camp in a picturesque clearing in the deep Canadian woods, we’ll be pitching out retro movie canvas just as the light begins to fade. We’ll hustle a fire together and sit looking over the flickering flames as we ponder all the cinematic greatness before zipping up for the night and dreaming of what possible greatness we could capture onto celluloid wonder in the next light.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 6th DECEMBER
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Twins (1988) ITV2 12:50pm-3:00pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
An unlikely pair of brothers, who were born as the result of a one-off genetic experiment and separated at birth, are reunited in adulthood. They set out on a cross-country search for their unknown mother – fending off vicious loan sharks and a professional assassin along the way. Comedy, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Danny DeVito, Kelly Preston and Chloe Webb.

Runaway Bride (1999) Film4 1:00pm-3:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A disreputable journalist hopes to get his ailing career back on track by writing an article about a commitment-shy woman famed for ditching bridegrooms at the altar – but complications arise when the pair meet on the eve of her latest attempt at marriage. Romantic comedy, starring Julia Roberts and Richard Gere, with Joan Cusack, Hector Elizondo and Rita Wilson.

Teen Wolf (1985) 5* 1:05pm-3:05pm (2 hours)
A teenage misfit is initially dismayed to learn he is a werewolf as a result of a hereditary curse. He finds there are advantages as he becomes a local celebrity, while his enhanced agility makes him the star player of his school’s basketball team – but fame quickly goes to his head. Comedy, starring Michael J Fox, James Hampton and Susan Ursitti.

Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban (2004) ITV London 3:50pm-6:30pm (2 hours 40 minutes)
The teenage wizard is alarmed to learn a dangerous fugitive sorcerer is searching for him. Meanwhile, a new teacher at Hogwarts helps the bespectacled youngster to protect himself from the school’s soul-sucking security guards. The third in the fantasy adventure series, starring Daniel Radcliffe, Emma Watson, Rupert Grint, Gary Oldman, David Thewlis, Michael Gambon, Robbie Coltrane and Alan Rickman.

Big (1988) Film4 5:10pm-7:15pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A boy ridiculed for his size makes a wish on a fairground machine to become bigger – only to wake up as a 30-year-old man. Driven from his home by his terrified mother, the bewildered youngster trapped in a grown-up body makes his way to New York, where he rises high in the ranks of a toy manufacturing company and applies his youthful enthusiasm to the complexities of adult life. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Elizabeth Perkins and Robert Loggia.

Scarface (1983) ITV4 10:15pm-1:35am (3 hours 20 minutes)
Small-time crook Tony Montana emigrates from Cuba to the US, determined to become rich and powerful. Admitted into the inner circle of a Miami drug lord, he ultimately takes over his boss’s empire and even his wife. However, his paranoia and cocaine addiction begin to spiral out of control, while his enemies circle, waiting for the chance to bring him down. Gangster thriller remake, with Al Pacino, Michelle Pfeiffer and Robert Loggia.

SUNDAY 7th DECEMBER

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The First Wives Club (1996)
Film4 1:00pm-3:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Three former college friends reunite at the funeral of a mutual acquaintance, who killed herself after her husband left her for a younger woman. Finding themselves in a similar situation, the trio decide to take action and hit their former partners where it hurts most – their finances. Comedy, starring Goldie Hawn, Bette Midler, Diane Keaton, Maggie Smith, Dan Hedaya, Bronson Pinchot and Elizabeth Berkley.

10 Things I Hate About You (1999) Channel 4 3:00pm-5:00pm (2 hours)
Lively teenager Bianca is not allowed to start dating until her man-hating sister Kat does first – but no boy is brave enough to ask her out. However, Bianca’s would-be boyfriend thinks he has found the perfect man for the job in the shape of a quirky loner with a mysterious past. Comedy, based on Shakespeare’s The Taming of the Shrew, starring Heath Ledger, Julia Stiles, Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Larisa Oleynik.

Fun Fact: The scene in which Kat reads the “10 Things” poem was the first and only take, according to the DVD extras. Kat’s tears towards the end of the poem were not planned.

Death Becomes Her (1992) ITV London 4:40pm-6:35pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Two romantic rivals are both granted the secret of eternal youth by a mysterious mystic. However, as they battle to get their claws into a plastic surgeon, they discover their now-immortal bodies are capable of taking whatever damage they can dish out. Black comedy fantasy, starring Goldie Hawn, Meryl Streep, Bruce Willis and Isabella Rossellini.

Home Alone (1990) Sky Movies Family 9:35pm-11:30pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A boy has to fend for himself when he is accidentally left behind after his family jets off to Paris for Christmas. The youngster initially enjoys his freedom, but is soon forced to resort to ingenious booby traps to defend the family home from two dim-witted burglars. Comedy, starring Macaulay Culkin, Joe Pesci, Daniel Stern, John Heard, Catherine O’Hara and John Candy.

National Lampoon’s Christmas Vacation (1989) Sky Movies Christmas 9:45pm-11:30pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
An American householder is dismayed when his plans for a traditional festive family holiday are thrown into complete disarray by a succession of annoying neighbours and long-lost relatives, who turn up on his doorstep offering their own brand of Christmas cheer. Comedy, starring Chevy Chase, Beverly D’Angelo, Randy Quaid, Diane Ladd, Juliette Lewis, Miriam Flynn, Johnny Galecki and William Hickey.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you wrap up warm, and remember, never take sweets from strangers.

xoxo

Twins (1988)

The Weekly Retro Movie Rundown 110

Halley’s comet! It’s the weekend already?!

Like a proud owner of a shiny new soft top convertible, we’ll be donning the driving gloves and sunglasses as we rev up our smooth engine and glide our way through the twisting and turning country roads with the wind in our hair in search for even more retro cinematic greatness and stopping only to gasp at the celluloid wonder they discover on the way.

Have a happy retro weekend!

SATURDAY 2nd AUGUST

Rocky III (1982) Channel 5 1:00pm-2:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
World heavyweight boxing champion Rocky Balboa settles down into a life of luxury – but a cloud appears on the horizon in the shape of  ambitious contender Clubber Lang, whose brutal fighting style represents a serious threat to his title. Drama, starring Sylvester Stallone, Mr T, Burgess Meredith, Talia Shire, Burt Young, Carl Weathers and Hulk Hogan.

Rocky T-Shirts

Every Which Way But Loose (1978) Channel 5 2:55pm-5:10pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
A truck driver travels across America with his faithful orang-utan competing in bare knuckle fights for extra cash. He becomes smitten with a country singer who subsequently vanishes without a trace, so man and ape set off in search of her – with an enraged gang of bikers in pursuit. Action comedy, starring Clint Eastwood, Sondra Locke, Geoffrey Lewis and Beverly D’Angelo.

The Money Pit (1986) 5* 7:10pm-9:00pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Yuppie couple Walter and Anna buy a ramshackle old house and set about renovating it, only to see their dream home gradually turn into a nightmare. Anna also has to contend with her ex-husband, who is determined to talk her into giving their relationship another try. Comedy, starring Tom Hanks, Shelley Long, Alexander Godunov and Joe Mantegna.

Terminator 2: Judgment Day (1991) E4 9:00pm-11:45pm (2 hours 45 minutes)
A reprogrammed killing machine is sent back in time to the 20th century to protect John Connor, a teenage boy whose destiny is to save the human race. After breaking John’s mother out of a mental institution, the pair set out to avert a future nuclear war – pursued by an advanced prototype terminator with shape-changing powers. Sci-fi action adventure sequel, starring Arnold Schwarzenegger, Linda Hamilton,   Edward Furlong and Robert Patrick

SUNDAY 3rd AUGUST

Police Academy 5: Assignment Miami Beach (1988) Channel 5 2:00pm-3:45pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The clumsy cops visit Miami for a police chiefs’ convention to see Commandant Lassard receive an award for his retirement. Any hopes of a sun-kissed vacation are thwarted when a luggage mix-up lands them in the middle of a huge illegal arms deal. Comedy sequel, starring Bubba Smith, Michael Winslow, George Gaynes, Matt McCoy and Leslie Easterbrook.

Back to the Future (1985) ITV2 6:45pm-9:00pm (2 hours 15 minutes)
Teenager Marty McFly travels back to the 1950s in a time machine built by his eccentric inventor friend. The return journey proves tricky enough, but he also accidentally alters the sequence of events that led to his parents falling in love – and has to persuade his future dad to win his mother’s heart, or he will never be born. Sci-fi comedy adventure, starring Michael J Fox, Christopher Lloyd, Lea Thompson and Crispin Glover.

Back To The Future T-Shirts

Sister Act (1992) Film4 7:05pm-9:00pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
Nightclub singer Deloris Van Cartier agrees to testify against her gangster boyfriend after witnessing a murder. Placed in protective custody by the authorities, she is less than pleased to discover she is expected to pose as chaste nun Sister Mary Clarence in a convent. Comedy, starring Whoopi Goldberg, Harvey Keitel, Maggie Smith, Bill Nunn and Kathy Najimy.

Pretty Woman (1990) Watch 9:00pm-11:20pm (2 hours 20 minutes)
A ruthless millionaire hires a prostitute while on a business trip. Realising she may be useful in helping him keep up a successful appearance, he pays her to accompany him for a week as he associates with the rich and powerful – but falls in love despite their many differences. Romantic comedy, starring Richard Gere and Julia Roberts, with Ralph Bellamy and Laura San Giacomo.

Whatever you’re up to this weekend, remember to always have a plan b and be good to each other.
xoxo