Hot rubber on the road! Is it really the weekend? Yeeeesh!
With our big engine purring as smooth as a sleeping kitten, we’ll climb about our big rig into the huge comfy seat as we gaze over the feet of metal in front of us that covers the hot power plant that will soon be pulling us swiftly down the road. Shifting through the many gears, we’ll cover ground and discover distant lands like a boat sailing the seven seas before after many hours over the tarmac sea we reach our destination and can finally deliver our much anticipated load from the small warehouse of a trailer.
Have a happy retro weekend!
SATURDAY 7th March
Treasure Island (1972) Film4 11:00am-12:55pm (1 hour 55 minutes)
A boy discovers a map leading to the location of an infamous pirate’s buried treasure. He joins a voyage in search of the loot, only to discover the ship has been infiltrated by several of the buccaneer’s former crew, who plan to seize the riches for themselves. Adventure based on Robert Louis Stevenson’s novel, starring Orson Welles and Kim Burfield.
Batteries Not Included (1987) ITV2 1:20pm-3:25pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
A family of tiny alien spacecraft intervenes to help the residents of a run-down Manhattan brownstone tenement stop greedy developers from demolishing their homes. However, the miniature flying saucers have the odds stacked against them as they bravely do all they can to save the day. Sci-fi fantasy, starring Jessica Tandy, Hume Cronyn, Frank McRae and Elizabeth Pena.
Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen (2009) Film4 5:55pm-8:50pm (2 hours 55 minutes)
The war between the shape-shifting robots erupts once again, as the first of the evil Decepticons leads an attack on Earth to locate an ancient planet-destroying machine. Hapless teenager Sam Witwicky is caught in the middle of the ensuing conflict as he holds the key to discovering the location of the device. Sci-fi adventure sequel, starring Shia LaBeouf and Megan Fox.
Mr Bean’s Holiday (2007) ITV2 6:15pm-8:00pm (1 hour 45 minutes)
The bumbling fool wins first prize in the church raffle – a trip to France and a video camera. His travels cause chaos as he disrupts a film shoot in Cannes, to the fury of its megalomaniac director, and is then accused of kidnapping a youngster. Comedy, starring Rowan Atkinson, Willem Dafoe, Emma de Caunes and Max Baldry.
Beverly Hills Cop II (1987) E4 9:00pm-11:05pm (2 hours 5 minutes)
Wisecracking Detroit detective Axel Foley returns to Los Angeles to investigate the shooting of an old friend, and uncovers a connection with a spate of violent robberies carried out by a criminal who leaves a mysterious calling card. Comedy thriller sequel, with Eddie Murphy, Judge Reinhold, John Ashton, Ronny Cox and Brigitte Nielsen.
Fun Fact: In the scene at Billy’s apartment where both Axel and Billy sing the theme to “The Dating Game”, the singing was actually just improvised by Eddie Murphy and Judge Reinhold.
Highlander (1986) 5USA 9:00pm-11:25pm (2 hours 25 minutes)
A 16th-century Scottish clansman discovers he is one of a race of immortal warriors who can only be killed by beheading, and who are destined to fight to the death until just one survives. Centuries later in modern-day New York, he prepares for a final showdown with his deadliest enemy. Fantasy action adventure, starring Christopher Lambert, Sean Connery, Clancy Brown and Roxanne Hart.
Cliffhanger (1993) Syfy 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A retired mountain rescue expert is drawn into a battle of wits with a psychopathic criminal searching for a $100million fortune lost in the Rockies – and puts his life on the line as he negotiates the treacherous mountains in a bid to stay one step ahead of the crook. Action thriller, starring Sylvester Stallone, John Lithgow, Janine Turner and Michael Rooker.
SUNDAY 7th March
Muppets from Space (1999) GOLD 9:30am-11:15am (1 hour 45 minutes)
Gonzo hits the road with pal Rizzo in tow and goes in search of his roots – only to make the amazing discovery that his parents belonged to a race of aliens. He then has to choose whether to board a UFO and return to his family, or stay with the friends he knows and loves. Family comedy, with F Murray Abraham, David Arquette, Ray Liotta, Andie MacDowell and Rob Schneider alongside the puppets.
The Living Daylights (1987) ITV London 3:25pm-6:00pm (2 hours 35 minutes)
James Bond crosses the continents to help a KGB agent to defect to the West. While protecting him from an unknown assassin, the super-spy is drawn into the world of arms dealing and a plot to trade millions of pounds’ worth of diamonds for weapons to supply mercenaries around the world. Action adventure, with Timothy Dalton making his debut appearance as 007, alongside Maryam d’Abo, Joe Don Baker and Art Malik.
Porridge (1979) Film4 5:05pm-6:55pm (1 hour 50 minutes)
Cellmates Fletcher and Godber are coerced into aiding an escape attempt organised by the sinister Grouty. However, the two jailbirds contrive to break back into prison before their absence is detected by the formidable Mr Mackay. Comedy based on the TV series, starring Ronnie Barker, Richard Beckinsale, Peter Vaughan, Fulton Mackay and Brian Wilde.
Iron Man (2008) E4 6:30pm-9:00pm (2 hours 30 minutes)
Arms manufacturer Tony Stark is taken hostage by a terrorist group and realises the weapons his company build have been falling into the wrong hands. Using his engineering skills to construct a hi-tech armoured suit, he manages to escape and then puts the technology to good use in the fight against evil around the world. Superhero adventure, starring Robert Downey Jr, Jeff Bridges, Gwyneth Paltrow and Terrence Howard.
RoboCop (1987) Syfy 9:00pm-11:10pm (2 hours 10 minutes)
A police officer in a future Detroit ravaged by crime is seemingly killed in the line of duty, but is rebuilt as a law-enforcing cyborg by the corporation that has taken over running the force. He begins to remember his human life and seeks to bring his killers to justice – a mission that leads him to turn on his corrupt corporate masters. Sci-fi thriller, starring Peter Weller, Nancy Allen, Ronny Cox and Miguel Ferrer.
Whatever you’re up to this weekend, make sure you check before reversing and don’t forget to do the shake and vac and put the freshness back.